Where There's Smoke
by NJNYTwiGals
Summary: Edward is a Chicago firefighter who decides to move to Seattle to escape his past. Bella is a woman betrayed who has turned her back on love- until they meet. Will they spark into something beautiful or go up in flames? AU-H- M for language & lemons
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome! This is our very first try in writing a fic, so please be gentle with us. **

**My name is Holly (a.k.a. NJNYTwiGals-H)**

**And I'm Pauline (a.k.a. NJNYTwiGals-P)…and together we are known as NJNYTwiGals.**

**We wanted to pop our fanfic publishing cherry together, so we have come up with a great story that we hope you will follow and enjoy. We plan on alternating between Bella and Edward's pov for now.**

**Disclaimer: SM own Twilight and its characters. We just want to have fun imagining Edward as a hot firefighter..lol!**

**So, without further delay, we bring you, "Where There's Smoke"**

**Chapter 1**

***BPOV***

_There she was, standing in front of the floor length mirror. Staring back at her was a beautiful woman dressed in the most breathtaking white dress. It was nothing too fancy, but nothing too simple by any means- it was just perfect for her. Her hands ran over the smooth silk, fingers tracing over the embroidered lace flowers that were sporadically placed on the bodice of the dress. She couldn't believe that she was actually wearing a dress, let alone a dress whose train seemed to go on for miles miles. Cathedral train is what the ladies at the dress shop told her and she wasn't planning on wearing such an extravagant piece of material, but once she put it on it fit perfectly, as though it was made specifically for her._

_Standing off to the right was the bride's mother trying to hold back her tears of joy, as she didn't want to ruin her make-up (pictures, you know!). She was waiting to put on the bride's "something borrowed" around her neck- a beautiful diamond wreath, which hung on a delicate strand of platinum. _

_She stole one last glance in the mirror to make sure her headpiece was still on straight and her veil was laid perfectly on her head, then she turned to face her mother and her two best friends. They collectively gasped, but no words were exchanged. With a simple nod from the bride, the code for, "I'm ready," she was handed her bouquet of white orchids sprayed with just a dash of silver glitter. She beamed, feeling positively radiant, as she wasn't going to let the butterflies swirling around in celebration in her stomach deter her. She was going to go through with this. She ready to start her new life with the man of her dreams, the man she knew for over twelve years, the man whose name adorned her high school notebooks._

_Yes, I, Bella Swan was ready to walk, no run, down the aisle to become Mrs. Jacob Black…._

_***BEEP, BEEP, BEEP* **_

"Fuck!" I screamed as I sat up abruptly, drenched in sweat, to turn off the most annoying sound in the world- my alarm clock. I closed my eyes, willing myself to calm down because I was certain my heart was going to burst out of my chest.

I slowly stepped out of bed and made my way over to the window. _Let's see what the Seattle weather_ _has in store for us today._ _Hmm, cloudy with a little drizzle of rain- shocking._ I shuffled across my room and looked in the mirror, wishing I didn't. It looked as though medusa was my stylist, my eyes were bloodshot, and my face and chest were glistening from the sweat that was emitting from my body. In short, I looked like utter shit.

"Man of my dreams my ass!" I muttered to myself.

I peeked over at the clock to check the time and realized I needed to get my ass in gear if I wanted to get to work on time. Today, was the first day of school for me and for twenty-four wide-eyed and eager third graders.

This day marked my fifth year of teaching elementary school, and I was excited to meet my new class. It was going to be a great year and I promised myself that if I got any loose cannons in my class, that I would remain positive and hopeful that I could reach those students. I tended to get the kids who liked to "act up," because everyone else would bitch and complain and threaten to quit at the end of the previous year when we did student placements if they even got a child who spoke out of turn. I never complained, never spoke up, and even though I could have (I mean, I am tenured so I can say whatever I want within reason) I didn't because I felt that as long as one had the patience and determination, you could reach any child on some level. I never wanted my class to be perfect, as no one student is alike, and I always enjoyed the challenge of teaching, so it never bothered me about who I had in my class. Don't sweat the small stuff, right? Apparently, I am the only one on my team who thinks like this.

Once I was showered and dressed in my "first day of school" outfit, which consisted of a slim, black pencil skirt that fell slightly above the knee and a red v-neck light sweater, I darted out of my room and headed towards the most heavenly smell, coffee. _Ah, Alice, how I love her so._ She knew I needed industrial strength this morning.

Alice is one of my best friends and we have been living with each other since college. We met at the beginning of our freshman year, and I can still remember the way she was bouncing up and down clapping her hands and enveloping me in a strong hug when I walked into our dorm room. She was a bundle of energy and she still is. I'll be honest; I was a little frightened of her vibrancy at first, as I have always been more reserved and perfectly content to blend in with the crowd. But, no not Alice; She knew how to work a room and get attention by the way she flitted about in her eccentric outfits and witty banter. Standing at a mere four feet ten inches, she resembled a petite pixie, with her delicate features and short, spiky, black hair which was a stark contrast against her pale skin. Don't let her size fool you, though. Alice can be one fierce mama when she is angry, but she is a true and loyal person if you are lucky enough to become her friend. Once you join in her little circle of trust, she will do everything in her power to protect you and make you happy.

As I walked down the hall towards the kitchen, I tried not to let my dream, or shall I say recurring nightmare get to me because once I made eye contact with Alice, she would know something was up. That's how well she knew me; one glance is all that it takes for her to tell my mood. I didn't want to start off my first day back at work with a bad attitude.

I was doing really well at hiding my emotions in front of everyone. I was certainly over the crying at a moment's notice phase, but I hadn't perfected my genuine smiley face yet. I just didn't want "the look" from her this morning. I didn't want her to feel like she had to check up on me during the day to make sure I hadn't abandoned my class to wallow in the closet. I mean, it's been four months since the day my world as I knew it came crashing down on me and I was seriously making progress, but evidently not enough progress to warrant my friends to stop making sure I wasn't going to have another breakdown.

_You can do this, Bella. Just slap a smile on your face and don't allude to the fact that you are dying inside. _I entered the kitchen and grabbed a stool at the counter and flashed a dazzling smile to Alice.

"So, had another nightmare, huh?" asked the little pixie while holding out a huge cup of coffee.

_What? How the fuck did she know?_

"I heard you moaning and then you screamed, fuck," she stated. I must have had that furrowed brow look on my face that prompted her to explain herself.

I grabbed the cup of coffee from her hands. "Ugh Alice, how do you do that? Just from hearing me say the word fuck, you came to the conclusion that I was dreaming about _him_ again?" I was trying not to let the frustration seep into my voice.

"Don't you know that I can see the future before it actually happens? I knew last night that you were going to dream about that prick again," she quipped taking a bite of her toast.

"Very funny," I deadpanned.

"You dumbass! I knew because whenever that asshole stars in your dream, you scream the word _fuck_. I mean you have been doing it since it happened four months ago. Don't you remember that first month when I had to sleep with you in your bed you woke up every night saying that then crying about it immediately? I thought you were over this nightmare business." She chided as she was standing with her hands on her hips giving me the look of disappointment.

"Please, Alice, I am trying to forget," I said before I took a sip of coffee. _Mmm, hazelnut, my favorite._ "And you didn't have to sleep in my bed for a month. You chose to as part of the twenty-four hour vigil you, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett took to make sure I wasn't going to do something drastic like call him and beg him to come back to me, or worse, harm myself." I felt my control slipping a bit.

I dropped my head in my hands as I remembered the excruciating pain I felt those first four weeks. My friends were so convinced that I was going to go off the deep end that they took turns babysitting and comforting me, while making sure I ate every couple of hours and bathed myself.

Yeah, it was that bad and I'll admit that even though I feign annoyance when they speak of it now, I was truly appreciative of my friends' level of commitment to me. I probably wouldn't be sitting in my kitchen drinking coffee getting ready to go to work. I would have been locked away in some padded cell rocking back and forth muttering, "_fuck_," if it wasn't for them intervening like they did.

Immediately, I felt Alice's hands stroking my hair and my back. I turned to face her with tears in my eyes that were waiting to drop any second. One blink was all it took, as two heavy drops stained my freshly made up face.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have given you a hard time," she said as she gently wiped away my tears with her thumbs. She wouldn't want me to have to reapply my mascara, as that would be a catastrophe to her. More like a catastrophe to me, because then she would insist that she help me redo my make-up, only to have me walk out of our apartment looking like I was a model on her way to a photo shoot. Aside, from her flair for the dramatics, Alice has a flair for everything that involves makeovers, hair, clothing, and all accessories. It's even worse when it comes to me because she's never really cared for my fashion sense and my no-nonsense way of applying the bare minimum of make-up.

"It's just that you haven't had one of those walking down the aisle dreams for a few weeks now, so I thought you were over with that phase," she soothed.

"I know. I was doing really well. It must be the stress of my first day back at work. I mean I don't want to face my colleagues because one of them is bound to say something stupid and mention my non-existent wedding to be." I complained as I sniffled a little.

Alice handed me a napkin. "Well, just tell those nosy bitches that you are doing just great and that you would rather not dredge up the past and relive a very private and painful experience, emphasis on the word _private_. Gosh, don't these girls have anything better to do than try to hassle you for information?"

"Actually, no." I snorted. You see, we work with kids ages five to twelve all day. The only gossip we get is who is not talking to whom anymore or who likes who from the students. So, when we teachers head to the teacher's lounge, we like to talk about grown-up things because we haven't been around another adult for a couple of hours. The lounge is a teacher's version of the office water cooler, and my story is what's hot right now. It doesn't help that everyone knows my non-pending nuptials were supposed to be in two months. Face it, I'm the story of the year, and everyone will inadvertently be giving me attention by just staring to see if they can catch a glimpse of a crack in my façade. I'm going to be put under a microscope, and you know how much I just love the attention," I sighed, my voice dripping with sarcasm, as I got up to place my empty mug in the dishwasher.

"Bells, you know if anyone gives you a real problem, you have Jasper to protect you," Alice reassured.

I was well aware that all I had to do was seek refuge in Jasper's classroom. Jasper was a fifth grade teacher at my school and his room was upstairs from mine. Jasper was also Alice's boyfriend or soul mate as she likes to say.

Jasper and I go way back. We met when I moved to the very small town of Forks, Washington in the seventh grade. My parents had divorced when I was an infant. My mom and dad grew up in Forks and had married right after high school. Being the free spirit that she was, my mother, Renee, decided that she didn't want to be trapped in the dreary rainy town forever. So once I was born, she high-tailed it out of there and moved to Arizona seeking sunshine and freedom, bringing me along for the ride. Once I turned seven, I started to visit my dad, Charlie, who still lived in Forks. He was the police chief there, and still is.

When I was thirteen, Renee married Phil who was a minor league baseball player. Phil liked to bounce around from team to team, causing him to move around a lot. When it was time for him to move again, he had just married mom, which meant we were headed to Florida. My mom actually was really cool and gave me a choice between moving to Florida and moving to Forks to try living with my dad. I chose my dad because even though he is a man of few words, he was loving and an all around great guy, and I moved to Forks shortly after.

That's where I met Jasper and Emmett. Jasper was in one of my classes and we hit it off right away. He showed me around the school, taking me under his wing. I met Emmett through Jasper, as they have been friends since they were babies. Their mothers met each other in some "mommy and me" class.

"I got it Alice. I will call on Jasper if needed, but the thing is, I don't want to have to resort to that at all," I snapped crossing my arms. I can be pretty stubborn when I wanted to be. I wanted to be able to take care of myself without having to be the damsel in distress, and be able to face the vultures that no doubt would swarm around waiting to take a nip at me.

"You know, it's okay to lean on your friends for support. It doesn't make you weak," Alice stated as sidled up to me to give me a one-armed hug.

"Alice, do you realize that that's all I have been doing for all these months is lean on you guys? If I lean any further, I am going to fall to the ground. I'm getting stronger every day, but I just want to be at that point where I am able to not think of him for one day. Shit, I'll take not thinking about what he did to me for one measly hour!" I stormed out to the living room to retrieve my bag throwing it over my shoulder.

When I looked up, I saw that Alice was staring at me while leaning against the wall separating the kitchen and the living room taking a long sip from her coffee cup. I closed my eyes briefly trying to regain my composure, while my clenching my fists at my side.

"Look, I love you Alice, you know I do. But you need to understand that I have to try to not rely on you guys so much." _Keep deluding yourself, Bella._ "I need to be able to make myself strong without the help of others. I am not the same person I used to be." _That's an understatement!_

I opened my eyes to look at her. I took a deep breath and stood up straighter. "From here on out, I have to do things for myself and make decisions for myself without everyone's opinions and influences hovering over me. I can't keep allowing my friends to pick up the pieces for me whenever I get a little emotional." _Good, now maybe if you say that a hundred more times, you'll actually believe it yourself._ I started for the door and opened it.

Alice's voice stopped me before I could leave, "Fine, Bella. Have it your way, I won't tell you how you should handle things. I know you are a big girl," she huffed. "You are like a sister to me, and when you hurt, I hurt," she said shrugging her shoulders. "I don't want you thinking that in order to prove you are moving on and are strong, that you have to go through things alone and not get the help from your friends when needed. That's a shitty way to live, Bella." And with that Alice shook her head, turned around and walked out of the room.

I knew Alice was right and that I was just being a stupid asshole. But I couldn't help it. I am a different person now. I am scarred and jaded beyond repair. How could I rely on anyone when the one person I relied on for so many years just up and walked out of my life forever? How could I not think that getting close to anyone was not a good idea anymore? I mean eventually everyone leaves, right?

I am alone, and probably will be for a very long time. Hell, maybe for the rest of my life- who the fuck knows! There's no use to letting anyone in if all they do is leave you in the end.

**A/N: *Collectively lets out holding breaths***

**Okay, so what do you think so far? Want to find out what has Bella do damn bitter? Then be sure to follow our story to get some answers.**

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ok, so a bunch of kisses and squeezes need to go out for all of you who have reviewed, and those who have placed us on story and author alerts! It means the world to us, so thanks :) **

**A big shout out to Vicki86 who was our very first reviewer- you put a smile on our faces so early in the morning- so hopefully you'll stick around and keep on reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: The fabulous SM owns Twilight. Sadly we don't, but collectively we own way too many pairs of flip-flops.**

**Chapter 2**

***BPOV***

After my little standoff with Alice, I made my way down to the parking garage to meet Jasper at his car. Jasper lived above us in our building on the twelfth floor. He and Emmett were living together there since they graduated college and they actually helped Alice and I get our apartment. Apparently, some single lady was living in our place and decided to move to one of those fifty-five and older communities outside of the city, so knowing that Alice and I were desperately looking to upgrade our living environment, Jasper and Emmett jumped at the chance and sought out the superintendent of the building to recommend us.

So, it was ever so convenient that Jasper and I worked together and lived in the same building because that meant we could carpool to work. Normally I loved this arrangement, but given this morning's events with Alice, I was unusually quiet and just wanted space.

"So, Alice told me you had another "Jake" dream last night," Jasper stated while staring at the road ahead.

_Oh God, he said it. He said his name. Jake. _Each time that name was uttered out of someone's mouth; it was like a stab right through my heart.

I instinctively put my hand over my chest and closed my eyes, willing the pain to go away.

_Can you be any more pathetic, Bella? Get a fucking grip! It's been four months…SNAP OUT OF IT!!!_

Jesus, my mind was really angry with me today.

I opened my eyes and looked out the window. Jasper was still talking.

"I'm not going to get in the middle of your argument, but Alice does have a point Bells. I don't have any problem in telling those bitches at work where to go." He had such a determined look on his face, trying to act like my knight and shining armor, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that I couldn't be rescued. That shit was made for fairytales not real life.

Instead, I merely nodded and looked out at the rain starting to splatter against my window. Each droplet hitting the glass sounded like a tiny heartbeat, reminding me that I had to keep on living.

Easier said than done, right?

Four months ago, I was in the midst of planning a wedding, oblivious as to what my darling fiancée was doing behind my back. Jake is an accountant for a really big firm based here in Seattle. His job requires him to make monthly business trips to the East Coast to the firm's New York City office for meetings. Apparently, while on his first business trip a year ago, he and some of his work buddies were taken out to a club to let off some steam.

That's where he met _her_. She was a bartender slash whore (well, she was one to me and my friends) and they were instantly attracted to each other. Would you believe that Jake actually used the word, kismet to describe how he felt when he first laid eyes on her? I mean, for fuck's sake, we were already engaged! Shouldn't he have been thinking that I was the one who was meant for him? Um, hello?

They starting fucking that first night and he continued to fuck her for a week before he came home to me and slept in my bed! When he was home, he became the sweet and loving fiancé, planning the wedding of our dreams. _Well, I guess it was the wedding of just my dreams_. And there I was floating in my own little clueless bubble thinking happy thoughts about sunshine and rainbows.

He never alluded to the fact that he was unhappy, and we still had a healthy sex life. Well, I mean we had sex but it was never mind blowing with Jake. He wasn't really a giver- he was a bit selfish when it came to giving me pleasure. But, I never minded because I thought it was more important that we were going to share a life together. I guess I thought the heart stopping orgasms would come in time. In the meantime, I would find solace with my trusty fingers and vibrator.

It seems that good old Jakey thought the same thing, because he enjoyed his whore so much that he got her pregnant. So not only was he sleeping with another woman, he was careless with protection to boot. I got tested for every type of disease out there when I found out, making sure that bitch's germs were anywhere but inside of me.

I can still picture his face when he came clean to me about everything.

It was the night before my wedding shower. I didn't want to be surprised, so I knew when my shower was (I know, not your typical bride-to-be). I hated when I had all the attention on me, and I especially hated surprises. Anyone who knows me can attest to that.

We were taking a drive when he abruptly stopped and pulled to the side of the road. He looked so pale and his face felt so damn clammy, I was really worried. He turned to me and spilled his guts. He told me about Leah (that's the bitch's name) and how he had been dating her on the side for a year since his first business trip to the East. He told me that he got her pregnant and that even though it wasn't planned; they really wanted to keep the baby. Out of sheer and utter shock, I immediately told him that we would figure something out when the baby was born, and not to worry, I would stand by him and accept his child.

That's when my world stood still. I can still recall those words he whispered to me in the darkness, "I don't want to marry you anymore Bella. I can't. You see, I love Leah. Not you. We plan on getting married and raising our child here in Seattle."

Instantly, my ears started ringing as my breathing became erratic. I lunged myself onto Jake's lap, grabbing onto his shirt, begging him not to leave me. That he was just in shock of finding out he was becoming a father. He loved me. He knew me for twelve years. We even lasted through college, even when we went to different schools. What was I going to do without him? How was I going to live and breathe if he wasn't by my side? I was desperate and was just letting the words spill out of my mouth with no filter at all. I had absolutely no shame. Tears were streaming down my face; the snot was flowing out of my nose- I didn't care. All I wanted was Jake. And I wanted him to want me, to pick me, to love me.

It didn't work. Jake had made his decision the moment he met Leah. He was just too much of a coward to break our engagement sooner. So, he decided he would let me down gently on the night before my bridal shower. I was too humiliated to even tell my own mother. I had to have Rosalie and Alice break the news. They then split up the guest list and called each and every person that was supposed to be at the party and told them to not bother coming because the wedding was off.

I didn't leave my bed for a month. That was in May, and I still had one month of work left before the summer break. I had to take a medical leave of absence for that last month. I barely said a word to anyone.

This is why I am feeling a little apprehensive today. I haven't seen my colleagues since May. Some had tried to visit me, but Alice and Rosalie fielded my calls and visits stating that I wasn't up to visitors at the moment. I was sent the most beautiful fruit baskets and flowers you can imagine.

It was like someone close to me had died, and in a way someone did. I had died, the old me that is. I was a different person now and I was terrified of letting anyone in. That last month of school, Jasper really had to control all the rumors going around about me. He had to set the record straight without airing my dirty laundry to the masses. Everyone would ask about me to Jasper, as they all knew we were like brother and sister.

I didn't want them to see the battered person I felt I was. I owed it to myself and to my friends to maintain my composure of calm, cool, and collected. I was fine, just fine. Totally over the fact that my ex-fiancé and his lover were living in the same city as me and that at any time, we could literally bump into one another. Shit, I could have already passed her on the damn street, since I had no clue as to what in the hell she looked like, nor did I have any interest knowing what she looked like. Did I mention that Jake decided to keep all of our wedding arrangements in place instead of cancelling them and that the only thing that would be different would be the bride? Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

Yup, today I was going to get lots of looks.

"Bella?" Jasper called to me as he broke me out of my trance.

"Huh?"

"We're here, hon." Jasper whispered gently. "Are you ready? Would you like for me to go ahead in and give you some space?"

_NO! Are you fucking crazy? You think I want to enter that building alone?_ I wanted to scream, but instead, I reached for his hand squeezing it gently.

"No, Jasper. I need you right now." I smiled slightly in is direction feeling a bit humbled. _Damn you Alice for always being right! _I would have to pay for her dinner tonight to make up for my massive bitchiness this morning.

By the time we gathered our bags and got out of the car, the rain let up. _Good. At least I will still face these people while looking half-way decent._

Jasper looked over to me and gave me the warmest smile. He always had a way of calming me by merely flashing that smile or even just his simple touch.

As if reading my mind, he held out his arm to me so I could hook my arm around his. Always the gentleman.

"Okay, let's do this. I'm ready to be put on display like some damn zoo animal." _I think. _"Just don't let anyone get too close, okay, Jas?" I pleaded with my friend as I scrunched my face with worry.

"Your wish is my command, my lady," he bowed his head to me. "Now let's go get our darling students and start this school year already. I can't wait to see how many crackpots are in your class this year." Jasper snorted as he walked me over to the entrance to the school.

"Shut up, Japer." I shoved my shoulder into him, pushing him slightly to the left. God, it felt good to actually feel a little normal.

I was ready to start the new school year off right. As we entered the school doors, I turned to Jasper and flashed a genuine smile. He winked at me in response, as I chuckled and leaned into him a little further.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was four thirty when Jasper dropped me off at my door. We always stayed a little later the first couple of days of school to finish putting our classrooms together by adding the first day "getting to know you" crafts made by the students and putting up our September bulletin boards.

Even though it was only the late afternoon, I was exhausted. My feet were aching from standing all day and my throat was killing me. I wasn't used to speaking nonstop throughout the day- I had had four months of speaking only when I felt like it. Now that I was back at work, I had to find my voice again.

My day wasn't as horrific as I thought it was going to be. I was not treated like a zoo animal, but more like a class pet, where I would get some stares, but no one dared to try to ask permission to get close to me in fear that Jasper would rip them a new one. I think it had something to do with the fact that no one really knew what the fuck to say to me, so all I really got were somber nods or the occasional, "Hey Bella! Glad you're back!" That's not to say that I went totally unscathed. I'd only hit a minor speed bump during the day.

This encounter happened about five minutes into entering the building. Jasper had to talk with his classroom aide before picking up his students from the cafeteria. "Are you sure you don't mind that I leave you? I'm so sorry that I totally spaced on having to meet up with Jane." He looked at me with the saddest case of puppy eyes, that all I could do was wave him off.

"Go. I'm okay," I lied a little. "I'll meet you in the lounge during third period. I mean, what could possibly happen to me here in the office?" I practically pushed him away from me.

With a slight nod, Jasper walked passed me and went out the door.

"Bella, darling! How are you?" _Darling?_ _Oh god, I spoke too soon. Somebody help me please! _

I stole a glace over my shoulder and placed the face that matched the annoying drawl of her voice. Jessica. The principal of the school. A woman who wanted to be friends with her staff, and more than friends with the single male teachers. A woman who wore skin tight clothing and dressed like a teenager. A woman who treated my fellow teacher friends with respect, except for me. My boss. And a raging bitch_._

Spinning around, I formed a plastic smile on my face.

"I'm doing fantastic Jessica." _Okay, that was a little much! _"It's so great to see you. I see the summer has treated you well." _Now you are really laying it on too thick. _Hey, a little ass kissing doesn't hurt.

"Yes, well. You look…" She paused to rake her eyes over my appearance with distain. "Rested."

I tried to not let Jessica get to me as I knew she was still pissed that I took the last month off of work last school year. "Thanks. Yes, I am so excited to meet my new class and start the year already. So, if you'll excuse me, I'll just be on my-" I slightly turned.

Jessica grabbed my forearm to stop me. "Oh, come now, Bella. You didn't think you could just waltz in here without visiting with little old me, did you?" She steered me into her office and turned to close the door.

As soon as I entered her office I was blinded by a sea of pink. Jessica was in her late forties with a body of a twenty year old, but with a mind and attention span of a ten year old. She was obsessed with the color pink. Her office was drenched in various shades of the offensive color, seeming more like a college dorm than a principal's office. From her pink laptop, to her pink desk chair, to her fuzzy pink lampshade (yes, I said fuzzy), to her pink mini-refrigerator, her pink picture frames, her pink painted walls, her pink bookshelves, her pink bulletin board background- I wasn't sure where to look first, I was so dizzy. Shit, even the 'PRINCIPAL' on her parking space was painted pink (she put the charm on and got a custodial worker to do that for her last year).

I made my way to the back of her office by the windows; in case I had to vomit from the pink overdose, I could just open up the window and upchuck out it. I took a seat, which was black (go figure), and placed my elbow on the table and rested my head in my hand waiting for her wrath to kick in.

"So I trust that you are completely healed from your episode last May?" She air quoted the word, episode. "Because I need all of my teachers sharp and ready for their students. I don't have any reserve substitute teachers so early in the year to take over for others who suddenly decide they are going to check out on life for a while to go find themselves." Jessica sneered taking a few steps in my direction with a smirk across her lips. She was such a damn viper. But she didn't scare me.

I knew she was going to throw the fact that she had a difficult time finding a replacement for me so late in the year in my face. It still didn't make me less angry and resentful towards her. I gripped the edge of the table to control my hand from flying and smacking that look she had on her face right off her.

"I didn't have an episode," I said through clenched teeth. "My fiancée left me for another woman whom he knocked up while we were together. I was in shock and couldn't do much of anything. I was in no condition to be alone with myself, let alone be responsible for 24 students. You know that." I sat up straight and crossed my arms shielding myself from her attack. "I have apologized to you many times for the inconvenience I caused you and my students." I had to show remorse, which I did have, otherwise she would make my life here this year a living hell.

My only saving grace was that I was tight with Jasper. Jessica loved Jasper and always looked at him like she was getting ready to eat at a buffet. She would find ways to touch him and was constantly visiting his room with the ruse of just the principal making her daily rounds. Jasper knew how Jessica felt, and it never bothered him that she would walk in at a moment's notice in his classroom. He was an excellent teacher, had a great rapport with his fifth graders and he took his job very seriously.

"There's no need to get snippy Bella," she said in the fakest falsetto voice I have ever heard. "I'm just concerned is all. I want to make sure that my staff is happy, and that includes you. Because a content staff means content students, and content students mean I don't have to deal with petty little situations. So, are we clear?" She slithered up against one of her pepto bismol colored shelves, crossing her legs and arms.

"Of course, Jessica," I retorted respectfully. _Bitch! God how I would love to drop kick her right now! _"I will make sure that none of my boyfriends this year up and abandon me leaving me extremely broken and dead inside. And if should one happen to, I will make sure it coincides with a holiday vacation so I won't need any time off. Should any impending breakdown happen that extends beyond a holiday break, I will make sure that Jasper drags my behind here." Jessica brought out my snarky side; I couldn't help the sarcasm that was dripping from me. I cocked an eyebrow to her standing up, getting ready to bolt out of her pink dungeon.

"Speaking of Jasper, how is he doing? I haven't had the pleasure of seeing him yet," she not-so-innocently inquired with a spark in her eyes. "Is he still with your freakishly short oddly dressed friend, what's her name, Amanda?"

I chuckled at how she referred to Alice as I took in my own oddly dressed boss. She was wearing the tightest red skirt that was way too short for a woman her age to be wearing, black tights and black knee-high boots covering her legs, with a flimsy black, low cut v-neck piece of fabric that no doubt she considered a shirt. It dawned on me that our outfits were reversed and I looked more like the principal. Jessica looked like she was ready to dance on top of a bar.

"Her name is Alice actually, and Jasper is doing quite well. He and Alice are very happy," I tried to rub it in. "You should ask him about her. That's one way to get Jasper's attention- talk about the love of his life." I walked past Jessica, leaving her with a grimace on her face, turned the doorknob and left the office, having to adjust my eyes to the color change.

"Maybe I will," she answered my retreating form.

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up, I was still in my work clothes and when I looked out the window, the sky was a deep purple with just a splash of orange. "Crap!" I shouted as I jumped from my bed and scooted into the bathroom. Thankfully, I didn't have to scoot far since I have my own bathroom.

I knew I was going to be late meeting the gang for dinner at our favorite hangout, so I didn't have time to shower. I peeled myself out of my work outfit and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I stubbed my big toe on the bathroom door in my haste to step out into my room to get ready. "Ow, ow, ow- that fucking hurt!" I screamed at my own stupidity. I was always clumsy, tripping into anything or anyone, falling on a completely flat surface, my poor body taking the brunt of said clumsiness. I still have scars on both my knees when Jasper tried teaching me to roller blade in the eighth grade. Yeah, that didn't work out so well for me- the blood, all that blood! I shuddered at that memory.

I slipped into my comfy jeans, which were a little worn and baggy, but it was like wearing pajama bottoms, and I planned on keeping them forever. To make up for the baggy pants, I complimented them with a white fitted cotton tee. Alice would so not approve of this get-up, and I really wanted to get into her good graces again, but I simply did not have time to try to be glamorous.

I reapplied what little makeup I usually put on and dressed my lips with a touch of sheer lip gloss. Running my fingers through my hair, I took in my reflection in the mirror just staring. I had a habit of doing this after Jake left me. I studied myself looking at any imperfection I could find to justify his not loving me anymore.

_Did he ever really love you? _

_Maybe it was fear of the unknown that made him stick with you all those years._

I sighed loudly as I stood up straight, rolling my shoulders back. I absolutely hated that Jake betraying me had left me tainted with insecurity. I didn't think I was so terrible to look at. I wasn't a super model, but I wasn't necessarily plain, either.

I started with my hair- _ugh, boring brown _that fell to the middle of my back, a little wavy, so it hadsome body. I gazed into my own brown orbs- _shit brown eyes, blah_- slightly almond shaped that added a little mystery. I peeked up ever so slightly to my eyebrows- _there you are my pretties_, a smile played on my lips. I loved my eyebrows. It took years to perfect the way I wanted them to arch and shape my eyes. My eyebrows were my saving grace to my face, at least I thought. Anyone who would compliment my eyebrows would ask me where I got them waxed. I would quickly dismiss them stating that I didn't trust anyone with my brows, that I tweezed them. The looks of disbelief I would get always astounded me. What's wrong with tweezing? I prided myself on being able to do that, even though I would become cross-eyed and my eyes would tear up. Let's not forget- that shit hurt! But beauty is pain, right?

My nose- _god it's amazing I have never broken you_, I pondered as I thought back to all my near misses with volleyballs, soccer balls, and footballs of gym classes past. It was proportioned to my face, and had a smooth slope, and most importantly, it was straight. Plus, I had a few tiny, light freckles that sprinkled sporadically on my nose and my cheeks from sun exposure over the years that I thought looked pretty cute there.

I moved on to my upper body. My breasts- a full B cup. I never complained and neither did any guy who had the pleasure of playing with them! I grabbed my left breast- _Hmmm, just about a handful, that's enough, right? _They were perky and rounded_- _hey I wasn't whining. It could be worse- I could have breasts that hung to my knees that when I ran, they would flap in my face no matter what kind of support I was wearing.

I moved my hands over my flat stomach and then to the sides- _no love handles. The gym pays off, which reminds me, I better get back there soon!_ I turned to my side and looked at my lower body. My ass- well, I wasn't sure what to think of my ass. Jake always liked to grab it periodically when we would go shopping, constantly causing me to yelp in a store filled with people. I guess it looked good when I wore form fitting skirts or pants. But, I wasn't going to pinch my own ass occasionally to see whether I could bounce a quarter off of it or anything.

I knew what I was doing was utterly ridiculous, since I never really cared so much about my appearance. But that's what happens when you let a guy steal your heart, only for them to rip it into an oblivion leaving nothing but shreds. You are left with intricate puzzle pieces that are desperately trying to find a way to fuse back together. This was where I was now.

Ten minutes later I exited my building and walking to my destination five blocks away. I love where we lived. I reveled in the fact that we lived in the heart of Seattle, walking distance to just about anything. That's why I don't even have my car here. I thought about my old red pickup truck- my baby. I missed driving it a lot, but I knew that Charlie was taking good care of it in Forks. I had left it there so when I visited my dad, I wouldn't have to bother borrowing his car; I could just drive mine. When you live in a big city, you really don't need a car when you have public transportation at your disposal. It also helps that Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice all have cars, so if I was ever in need, I knew one of them would lend me their wheels.

Except maybe for Alice. Her Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle had given her a yellow Porsche when she got her master's degree in fashion merchandizing two years ago. I believe that I drooled for over a week whenever we drove around in it. Alice's aunt and uncle live in Chicago, and they had raised her as their own when she was just a baby after her parents died in car accident. Alice's dad and her Uncle Carlisle were brothers, so naturally he would want to raise his brother's only child.

I looked up a spotted something yellow parked in the distance. I laughed to myself as Alice's car came into view.

_Great, they are already here, _I thought to myself as I pulled the door to our favorite local haunt,"Felix's Bar and Grill."

As I entered the bar, a familiar voice made me turn around. "Bella! What's up baby doll?" Demetri, the bouncer called to me as he pulled me into a hug.

"Hey Demetri! It's great to see you. Where the hell have you been?" We were considered regulars here, as we frequent this place just about every weekend and the occasional weekday. Everyone knew us.

"Oh, I've been around working here and there. I actually got a great gig working security at a hotel. So I'm here only part time." He explained letting me out of his hold.

"Well, you be sure to work here as often as you can so you don't forget about us little people," I winked at him.

"Will do, Sugarplum. How could I forget a beauty like you? I do believe people are awaiting your arrival, and I don't want Alice to give me any grief for keeping you here with me. Her smacks on the head really fucking hurt!" He snorted and tilted his head in the direction my friends were sitting in.

There they were- my friends. The people who have seen me at my worst and still loved me for whom I was, holding nothing against me. I was nothing without them.

"Hey guys," I nodded to my friends. Instantly they all looked up at me and smiled. Well, everyone but Alice.

_Shit, she was still pissed off about this morning._

Emmett pushed his chair out of the way and lunged at me, swooping me off my feet and into an excruciatingly tight bear bug. "Bella Boo-Boo! What's shaken' you fine little thing?"

"E-e-e-m-m-m-e-e-t-t, can't breathe," I sputtered desperately trying to get out of his clutches.

"Emmett, you ass!" Rosalie chided as she got up and whacked him over the head. "Let her down. You're going to crush her and I'm not in the mood to kick your ass. I'm tired." She flipped her thick long blonde hair over her shoulder and rolled her eyes.

Thankfully, Emmett listened to the blonde beauty. With a thump of my feet hitting the floor, Emmett released me, but not without ruffling my hair with his hands. He made me laugh. Emmett was still that goofy kid I met all those years ago. But he was my protector standing at over six feet with his extremely huge muscular body. Emmett is a firefighter, and even though he looks real tough, he's a big old softy on the inside. He loves to channel his inner child whenever he can, and that's what made Emmett, well, Emmett.

"Aw, baby, why did you have to hit me in the head? That kinda hurt," he pulled his bottom lip out, a pout beginning to form on his face. Rosalie merely shook her head and turned her attention to her nails. "And don't give me the "I'm tired" routine," he said returning to his seat beside her as I made my way to the empty seat next to Alice. Emmett put his arm around Rosalie and whispered loudly on purpose so we could all hear, "You promised a night of feisty Rosalie when we got home." He wagged his eyebrows twirling a fake mustache as if he were a villain in a movie. Rosalie shut him up by ramming her fist in the center of his chest, causing him to let out a little "umph!"

Emmett and Rosalie met while we were in college. Over Christmas during our Sophomore year, I took Rosalie back to Forks with me since her parents were in Europe for the holidays. Emmett had offered to pick us up in Seattle, where we went to school, since my car was with my dad. The moment they shook hands, fireworks erupted. It was as though they always bickered like an old married couple. In fact, I think the first time Rosalie socked Emmett on the head, which was about thirty minutes into the drive, he became smitten. He has been under Rosalie's spell ever since. I think he was also taken back by her exquisite beauty and physique. And they complement each other so well, each knowing how to handle one another's moods.

Rosalie is one tough woman. If you try to stand in her way, she will devour you in one sitting. When I was first introduced to her by Alice as our roommate, I'll admit, I was terrified of her. She gave me the once over and waved her hand towards my face and simply said, "You'll do." To this day, I am not quite sure what that meant, but I am grateful that she warmed up to me and I am even more grateful to have her as a friend. Sometimes, Rosalie's bark is much worse than her bite. You just have to have the patience to look beyond the rugged exterior because inside lies a vulnerable woman who just wants to be understood. I loved Rosalie just as much as I did Alice. We were sisters in every sense of the word.

"So nice of you to grace us with your presence, Princess. Fabulous outfit, by the way. I'm glad you took some extra time out get all dolled up for us," Alice snorted, breaking me from my reverie.

I turned to her, my forehead creased with apprehension, "I'm glad you like it. I wore the jeans especially for you on account I knew you loved them so much." I blew her a kiss, which made her shake her head and giggle.

"Oh, Swan, one day I am going to take that god awful piece of material you like to refer to as pants, and burn them. In fact, there are plenty of other articles of clothing you own that I would like to see go up in flames," she said with too much of a twinkle in her eyes.

I shrugged my shoulders and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Ali, I'm so sorry about this morning. I was a super bitch who was just nervous about going back to work. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. In fact, the next time I do, you have permission to take these jeans away from me." I pulled up on the baggy fabric, causing Alice to shudder and close her eyes.

"Don't sweat it Bella. I'm over it. Now come here!" Alice gave me a quick hug. I peered over her shoulder and gave Jasper a wink. He smiled slightly and gulped down his beer.

Fifteen beers and four appetizers later, we were laughing our asses off about everything and anything, our thirst and hunger sated. Alice started rapidly swinging her legs, causing her to bounce a bit from her chair. "Oh my god! Jasper and I have some amazing news, Bella!" She beamed glancing over to Jasper.

"You're pregnant!" Emmett choked.

"You're engaged and pregnant," Rosalie guessed.

I had no clue as to what she wanted to tell me, so I remained quiet waiting for her to spit it out.

"I'm not going to even dignify you two with a response." She bounced in my direction. "Anyway, you know who my cousin Edward is, right?" She turned to me and I nodded. Edward was the son of Esme and Carlisle Cullen, her aunt and uncle. She grew up with Edward in Chicago and she adored him. She would go home and visit him and her aunt and uncle whenever she had the chance. I didn't know too much about him except that he was our age and still living in Chicago. I believe he has a girlfriend whom he has been dating for quite some time, and I vaguely remember Alice telling me that he was a firefighter or an EMT, something like that. I know what he looks like from Alice's pictures in her room. There is this one that I sometimes glance at when I am in her room. Apparently it was taken when they were on vacation in Aruba about six years ago. Edward and Alice were floating on rafts on a sea of clear blue. They were waving to the camera, Alice in her little orange string bikini, eyes scrunched up in laughter. Edward in his hunter green board shorts had one of his hands behind his head. He had a decent body, but that's not what makes me steal a peek at this picture so often. He was wearing the most charismatic crooked smirk on his face, which I thought was extremely sexy. I also recall that his hair was a brilliant coppery color, a shade that I never had come across seeing on any other person. Whenever I see this picture, I think about how whoever is with him must be one very lucky woman.

"Well, after a year of begging and pleading, my darling cousin has decided to relocate to Seattle!" She squealed bouncing up and down on her seat.

"Man, Alice I already knew this!" Emmett hung his head down. Emmett loved to gossip like a woman. "I hooked Edward up with a job at my firehouse. I thought you had something really juicy to spill." He really looked defeated, poor guy.

Alice sat back and crossed her arms. "Well, dipshit, my news was for Bella, since I haven't gotten a chance to inform her of my cousin's impending arrival."

"Wow, Alice, that's great news! I know how close you and Edward are. How are your aunt and uncle taking the news?" I was genuinely happy for Alice since she didn't have any family close by.

"Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle couldn't be happier. I mean, of course they will miss seeing their baby boy almost on a daily basis, but they also know this move will be the best thing for him." She looked at Jasper for reinforcement and he nodded agreeing with her.

"Sounds like this move will be monumental for him," Rosalie added.

"Yeah, Edward's been through a really tough time lately. The change will do him some good. Plus, it's perfect timing considering Jasper will be in need of a roommate since you two will eventually be shacking up together." Alice waved her pointer finger between Rosalie and Emmett. They sat there and grinned at one another. They recently took their relationship to the next level and decided to discuss moving in together; Rosalie bought a condo across town and it's only a matter of time until Emmett moves in.

"Will his girlfriend be moving with him? If she's not, won't that be tough having a long distance relationship?" I was curious how they would handle that.

"Um, no that won't be a problem…" Alice paused looking down at her empty plate fidgeting with the napkin in her lap. "That relationship was severed about a year ago. Edward took the separation really badly, but he's doing so much better now." She still didn't look up.

"I didn't know they broke up." I responded looking over to Alice.

"Uh, well, remember when I took that extended trip to Chicago?" She looked up at me, her forehead creased with worry. "That's when they parted. I comforted Edward because I was the only one he would listen to. You know, you two have a little in common on that front." She studied my face and a peculiar expression glazed over her.

"You mean his fiancée cheated on him and got another woman pregnant and called off the wedding only to marry his piece of meat on the side to start a family?" I chuckled trying to make light of a situation I felt was becoming a little too serious for my taste and Alice's for that matter.

"No. It's just… forget it." Alice looked really uncomfortable talking about this and I didn't want her to feel this way. Jasper must have been reading my mind as he reached out and took Alice's hand in his own, squeezing it reassuring her of something I had no clue about. She cocked her head to the side and smiled at him. Jasper always had a way of making people feel at peace in sticky situations.

"So, when does this Edward stroll into town?" Rosalie inquired leaning her head on Emmett's broad shoulder.

"In about two days. He's driving his car and he doesn't want to stop too many times. He's really anxious to get here already." Jasper responded for Alice. "I can't wait to have someone else help me keep the place nice and tidy since Emmett over here is a disgusting pig," he beamed. Emmett shot him a dirty look, and Jasper blew Emmett a kiss. "And, of course, I am excited to get to know Edward better. I've met him before and he's a really cool guy. You three are going to like him." Jasper said looking at me, Rosalie, and Emmett.

"Well, he better be a good cook because the guys at the firehouse demand nothing but the finest cuisine being served." Alice practically flew over the table and smacked Emmett on the head. The rest of us laughed.

"What? I only speak the truth! We're growing boys seeking scrumptious sustenance." He grinned.

"Alright, come on my little man. Let's go home and see what else can grow on you," Rosalie quipped winking at Emmett whose eyes grew wide.

"You don't have to tell me twice, baby." Emmett said as he nuzzled his face into her neck whispering something that was making her squeal with delight. I had to turn away. I felt like I was eavesdropping on a private moment. And quite frankly, I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

I stole a glance at Alice and Jasper. They were like Rosalie and Emmett- lost in each other's eyes having a silent conversation solidifying the deep bond they shared. I looked down at my lap and twisted my fingers. I wasn't jealous of my friends all being in love- I wasn't like that, and they deserved every happiness the world offered them. But, if I were being honest with myself, I would admit that I missed that closeness that I had once shared with another man. I missed those little displays of affection that made my insides leap with excitement and well, arousal. Yeah, sue me- I missed sex. In a bad bad way. I wanted someone who would look at me the way Jasper gazed at Alice and I wanted someone who ignited that fire and passion deep within my core the way I know Emmett does for Rosalie. I felt like an outsider looking in, encroaching on something I may never get to experience again. I felt my face grow hot and sweat was beginning to stain my palms. I knew the tears would shortly follow and I willed them to stop from pooling in my eyes.

Would anyone adore me like these two men in front of me adored their women? Did I really want to find love again, to put my heart out there for someone to snatch it up and jumpstart it back to life? Did I want someone to take the time and dig deep within me to rescue my drowning soul?

My answer: Yes, I did.

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**A/N: So now you know what has Bella so damn bitter. Don't fret- Edward's POV is up next! So, please hit that little old green review button and leave us some love. Reviewing will bring Edward into town faster ;)**

**XOXO**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay everyone we can't say it enough but we really want to thank everyone who has added our story to your alerts. It means so much to us. We are not going to make this author's note long because we know you have all been patiently waiting for Edward. So without further ado…here is Mr. Cullen.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. She started the fire- we just created an Edward who happens to like putting them out.**

**Chapter 3**

***EPOV***

_From:EC1901_

_To:TDluvsEC_

_Subject: Missing you_

_Dear Tanya,_

_I'm writing because I have some big news. I don't know how to bring this up; well I guess you probably already know, so I should just spit it out. I've decided to move to Seattle. It's something that I have been thinking about for a while now. You were my whole world here in Chicago and now that…well…you and I aren't…together anymore I guess there is no reason for me to stay here. Everything here reminds me of you, of us, and I think that in order for me to fully try and move on, and heal, I need to make a fresh start. _

_You remember my cousin Alice right? She is the one who went to college in Seattle and then ended up staying out there and getting a job after graduation. She has been trying to convince me to move out there to be near her for a while now. She knows that now that we aren't together anymore I really need to be around her for support. I have fought her on it for months now but in all honesty Tanya…I think she is right. I think that I need to go somewhere and start over. I know some of Alice's friends, and her boyfriend Jasper has even offered to let me move in with him and his roommate Emmett. I have met him on several occasions when Alice brought him into town to meet my parents and stuff…he seems like a really nice guy and we totally hit it off. I don't know Emmett well but I'm sure we'll be cool.  
Alice seems really genuinely happy with Jasper, and I am genuinely happy for her…so why does it hurt so bad to see another couple so happy and in love?_

_God Tanya…every single time I log onto my email I hope, I pray, that there will be a response from you. I know in my logical mind that it will never happen but my heart wants so bad to see one response from you. I know if anyone knew that I still wrote to you every day they would think I was crazy. They would tell me to give it up; but I just can't do it. This is my only tie left to you and I am just not ready to let it go. So I will continue to write you every day; keep you updated on what is going on with my life. I hope you don't mind. _

_Well anyway I gotta get ready for work. I already let my captain at the firehouse know a few weeks ago that I was going to be moving, but tonight I am saying goodbye to the other guys. God I hate goodbyes. I have had too damn many of them in my lifetime. I love you always and forever Tanya…never forget that._

_Love Always,_

_Edward_

_xoxo_

I sighed and then hit send. When the little "sent" box appeared I leaned back in the chair and ran my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes. Why did I keep torturing myself like this? I knew it was unhealthy for me to keep on emailing her; having one sided conversations with a woman who I hadn't been with in over a year. But I couldn't help it. I couldn't get over her. I couldn't move on from her.

This email address…it was the last thing I had of her. If I couldn't lie in bed beside her every night and talk to her, the way I always had, then sending her emails every day would have to be my way to keep her in the loop of my life. Telling Tanya everything had always been my release, my outlet. It was the only way I kept sane. In my line of work I see a lot of bad shit. I see people lose property that can't be replaced like photos and heirlooms, they lose their pets, and they lose their loved ones.

_Damn Cullen stop going down this train of thought…_

I always tried to shield Tanya from the real horrors that I dealt with day in and day out being a firefighter in a large city like Chicago, but she still knew when I had a bad day. She would cuddle with me in bed and whether I told her outright what horror from the day was weighing on my mind, or not, she would always stroke my hair and just chit chat with me about mundane things to get my mind off of it all. She'd always make me forget it all and I would fall asleep feeling completely at ease and loved. So despite how everyone would think I was nuts to keep sending her these emails I really had no other options right now.

I looked over at the clock. "Shit its 5:00!" I had to be at work at 6:00 this evening to work the night shift and I still had to stop off at the market to pick up stuff for dinner since it was my night to cook dinner for the guys. We always took turns cooking dinner when we were on nights. We each usually threw in a few bucks at the beginning of the week to cover the cost of groceries, but tonight I was treating. I wanted to feed these guys a wonderful meal. They had been like family to me for the past five years. There for me through just about everything that I had been through the past year.

Most of these guys had graduated with me from Fire Training Academy nearly 5 years ago. Once we were assigned to our house we truly became brothers. You really have no other choice but to bond that tightly with guys who are literally putting their life on the line for you and vice versa. We had to have each other's backs in our line of work. If one person slipped up it could cost someone their life; so putting that kind of trust in someone really bonds you for life.

I jumped out of my chair and grabbed my keys. Thankfully I was already dressed in my work clothes. I was wearing the usual blue shorts, blue t-shirt with the CFD insignia detailed on the front and work boots. I mean we obviously don't walk around in our full get ups that we wear into a fire…that would be ridiculous…but they still wanted us to look somewhat uniform so this is what we wore.

I walked out of my building and hopped in my car and headed to the market. I picked up some nice juicy steaks for the guys. I also planned on making some baked potatoes and a Caesar Salad. Hey who says that a bunch of dudes will live just on pizza or McDonald's Value Menus? My advice to any lady out there…find yourself a fireman and you will have yourself a man who can cook some of the best food you have ever tasted. We definitely don't mess around at mealtime at the house…which is why I love working the night shifts.

As I was walking to my car from the supermarket my cell phone started to ring. I hooked one of the bags around my wrist and fumbled into my pocket to retrieve my phone. When I saw the screen flashing "Alice" I smiled to myself and answered the phone.

"And what do I deserve the delight of getting a phone call from my favorite cousin on Earth?"

"Edward, I am your only cousin on Earth", Alice said, "and I was calling to see how far along you were in packing up your apartment. You are moving here in two days you know?"

I suppressed the urge to groan into the phone because truth be told I hadn't done a damn thing as far as packing was concerned. I knew that if I told my cousin that she would somehow figure a way out to reach her hand through the phone and smack me in the back of the head. And trust me…that shit would hurt. She was small but she packed quite the punch. I have personally been on the receiving end of many of Alice's punches and smacks over the years and…well that shit left bruises.

"Actually Alice I am almost done", I lied, "I just need to pack up some of my clothes and last minute things that I still need readily available until I leave and then I will be all done."

"Edward."

"Yes."

"You're lying."

Fuck!!! How does she do that? That little pixie always knows when I am lying. Even if I wrote her a letter telling her I was wearing blue socks, when in fact I had on white ones, I would get a letter back in the mail several days later simply saying '_your lying'._

"Okay, okay Alice you are right. I haven't started packing yet but…"

"Edward how do you expect to work all night tonight, get home at 6:30 AM tomorrow morning, pack everything in your entire apartment, load it into a truck and be ready to leave the day after tomorrow?"

Well now that she put it that way…shit…I was screwed. "Okay Alice, just calm down. Since I am moving in with Jasper and Emmett in Seattle I have no need for my furniture. I am leaving it for Steve…you know the guy I work with who is taking over my lease? Well yeah I'm leaving my furniture and stuff for Steve. I really just need to pack up my clothes and some other minor stuff and then I will be all set. It really won't take me much time to throw that stuff in boxes and Steve said he would come over on Thursday morning and help me load up the truck."

"Well…okay then I guess", she said, "are you sure you don't want me to fly out to Chicago tomorrow and help you pack? Then at least you would have me to keep you company for the drive out to Seattle on Thursday."

"No Alice, that isn't necessary. I really don't have that much stuff to pack, and in all honesty if I had to sit in a car with you babbling for any lengthy period of time I think I would end up just driving straight west right off a cliff and into the ocean to put myself out of my misery. I love you Pixie but you talk A LOT!" I immediately pulled my phone away from my ear and held it at arm's length away from me because I really couldn't be sure that she hadn't in fact come up with a way to reach her hand through a phone to hit me.

"EDWARD", I heard her scream, "PUT THAT PHONE BACK TO YOUR EAR! I have not figured out a way to hit you through a phone…YET…but just be damn sure that when you do get here, after I have fully had a chance to hug you and squeal over your arrival, I fully plan on introducing your ball sac to the inside of your stomach."

Ouch…I squirmed…because this bitch could do it for real if she really wanted to.

"Okay Alice…look I am almost at work and I have to get dinner ready for the guys. I am saying goodbye to everyone tonight at work so I'm a bit on edge. I'm sorry Pixie…I didn't mean to piss you off."

"Okay Edward, I'll let it slide this one time. I know you have a lot on your plate, and you are having a hard time leaving Chicago and putting…_that stuff_…behind you. How have you been by the way, other then having to say goodbye to the guys? Do you feel like you are doing better?"

By this time I had already pulled up in front of the firehouse and had parked my car and shut off the engine. I pinched the bridge of my nose, not really wanting to talk about what Alice was asking. "I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Damn Alice what do you want me to say? That I'm skipping through meadows whistling like a fucking little girl? That every day things are getting a little bit easier? Because they are fucking NOT Alice! Every day I wake up alone and I don't know how just a year ago I had my dream job and my dream girl and everything was mapped out for me. Now I wake up alone every morning and she isn't there with me and even a year later it still fucking hurts like it just happened yesterday. If everything was so fucking great I wouldn't be running away from Chicago; the city that I have lived in my whole fucking life. I wouldn't be leaving my firehouse and the guys who I love like brothers because even them, and my job here, reminds me of everything I don't have anymore."

There was a silence on the other end of the line and I wasn't sure if perhaps she had hung up on me when I started yelling at her.

"Are you still emailing her Edward?"

"Huh…how…what" was all I could manage to get out. How could Alice possibly know about the emails?

"Edward I know you email her, or at least you were the last time I came to visit. You left your computer up one night and when I went to check my mail the next morning I saw it. So I ask you again Edward…are you still emailing her, and tell me the truth, you know that I can always tell if you are lying to me?"

Christ…this was the one thing I never thought I would have to talk about with someone else. I had to be more careful about leaving my emails up as this is not a topic that could easily be explained away. "Yes", I said.

I heard Alice breath deeply into the phone. "Okay", she said, "perhaps one day you and I can talk about it more, but right now I don't think it is the most appropriate time to do it. You need to get into work."

Shit…right…it was already after 6:00 and I was still sitting outside the house in my car. "Okay Alice, I will call you on Thursday after I get the truck packed up, right before I set out for Seattle."

"Okay Edward, sounds good. Oh and Edward?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I love you."

"I love you too Pixie and I will see you on Saturday." And with that we both hung up.

I closed my phone and slipped it back into my pocket still a little unnerved about the fact that Alice knew that I emailed Tanya. But if there was one person in the whole world that I could trust with that secret, that I could trust would never make me feel stupid about it, it was her. I knew right then and there that I had made the right choice in deciding to move away from Chicago. I needed to be close to Alice. She was the one person who could help me through all this, who could understand me and not judge me. And call it odd, but I had some unexplained feeling in the pit of my stomach that Seattle held something much bigger for me. Something that was going to change my life forever.

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**A/N: Okay so Edward obviously has some demons that he is dealing with. His emotions and mood swings are, and will be, all over the place because he is dealing with a lot. **

**Now, we have read our fair share of other author's fan fics and we never really got the whole obsession with them asking for reviews. But now that we have started our own fic we totally get it. **

**It makes us happier then having fireman Edward cook us dinner when we get reviews from all you. Okay maybe not THAT happy, but pretty darn close! So go ahead, go click on that little green button below and leave us some comments…you know you wanna! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has stuck with us. We promise that it won't be long now before Edward & Bella come face to face. We had to set up their back stories, and besides…what fun would it be if we gave you what you wanted right away…ha ha. **

**We have to send a shout out to our girl Robicorn who is also writing her first fan fic that you should all check out. It's called "Let Your Mercy Fall On Me" which you can find the link to on our homepage under our favorite stories and/or favorite authors. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight, we just hope to one day own Rob.**

**Chapter 4**

**EPOV**

I got out of my car, gathered the bags that I had thrown in the back seat, and made my way into the firehouse. As I walked in I heard a bunch of people start cheering and clapping.

"Yay…Edward finally decided to show up for work."

"Fuck off Dave", and I flipped him off. "If you must know, I was at the market picking up some steaks to cook you jerk offs for dinner, but I must admit I think I forgot one for you."

"Ha, like hell you did Cullen; and if you did I will just eat yours and you can eat that left over crap that resembles dog food that John cooked yesterday." "Hey…I heard that", John yelled. Dave and I busted out laughing.

"Come on wise ass; help me bring these bags into the kitchen." Dave grabbed a bag from me and we walked into the kitchen.

Dave was probably my closest friend in the house. We had actually known each other since grade school. I was ecstatic when we both decided to join the fire department. He knew me better then anyone else here.

"So, are you all ready for the big move?" "I don't know", I said. "I mean I am not packed or anything…"

"Shocker" he said sarcastically and then laughed.

"As I was saying ass munch…I am not packed but I'm nervous. I know this move is for the best but I'm going to miss Chicago. I don't know any other way of life but life here."

"Well, I'm not gonna say that I am thrilled you are leaving. Shit, I almost wanna cry like a little bitch over it, but I really think this is what you need right now. Let's face it man…you have been falling apart this last year; to many bad memories here for you. Even my little Missus, Lauren, has been worried sick over you."

"I know."

With that Dave grabbed the steaks out of the bag and put them on a plate and started seasoning them while I went over and turned on the grill to our big industrial sized range. Dave knew I hated talking about the whole Tanya thing so I was grateful that he didn't say anything more about it.

"So Eddie", Dave said, and I turned and punched him in the arm because he knew I hated being called that shit, "how long does it take one to drive from Chicago to Seattle?" he said while rubbing his arm and giving me the evil eye.

"Well I googled that shit the other day and it says it's like 2,063 miles, which means it would take over a day to drive there. I plan on stopping for some rest when I just can't see straight anymore and then I will get there sometime Saturday night. Jasper said he would hang around the apartment on Saturday so that he can help me unload the truck as soon as I get there."

Dave nodded his head. "Any idea what you are going to do for work?"

"Well actually my other roommate, the guy named Emmett, he is a firefighter too. He is actually a captain. I put in for a transfer to a Seattle Fire House and Emmett said he was going to try and make a few phone calls to see if he can find me a spot quickly. I am hoping to get into somewhere relatively soon but I would also like a few days to myself once I get there so I can explore the city and get the feel for my new surroundings."

"That's great man. It really seems like you are going into this with a plan and I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks", I said.

With that I took the last of the steaks off the grill while Dave pulled the potatoes out of the oven. I quickly whipped up the salad and then yelled "DINNER". Wouldn't you know it that those fuckers came running faster for food then they did when an actual fire alarm sounded. I just laughed to myself. _Damn I'm gonna miss these guys._

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As soon as dinner was done we all cleaned up and then went into the TV room to catch a bit of the Cubs game.

"So are you going to switch sides now and become a Mariners fan", Pete said. "Oh hell no…I may be moving to another state but my heart and loyalties will always remain with Chicago. When the Cubs come to Seattle to play I will be there with my Cubs jersey on displaying it proudly. I don't care if people try to shove their foot up my ass…I'll never switch teams…EVER!"

"That's good to hear Cullen because if I ever see you in a Mariners jersey, the only foot up your ass will be mine", Pete joked.

Just then my phone buzzed in my pocket and I took it out and saw that Jasper was calling.

"Hey guy what's going on?"

"Hey to you too Edward. I just got off the phone with your cousin, and my better half, and she was telling me that you plan on arriving Saturday and so I figured I would call and touch base. I will be home all day because I have tons of lesson plans to write up for my classes, so I'll definitely be around when you get here. I had Emmett's lazy ass clear out the spare bedroom that he had claimed for all his useless crap so that it would be all set and ready for you when you get here. There is already a queen sized bed in there and a dresser, so all you need to bring is your clothes, some bed linens, and yourself and you'll be right at home."

"Thanks man I really appreciate it. You have no idea how much it means to me that you are letting me move in with you. It's hard enough moving to a new city without having to worry about where I'm going to be living, and what shady ass roommate you might end up with."

"Well I am more then happy to help you out. Anyone who Alice approves of is definitely okay in my book…but I can't exactly say that you won't have to worry about shady ass roommates because Emmett is a pig. I mean you always have to check before you sit down somewhere because I can't tell you the amount of times that I have plopped down on the couch after a long day at work only to be lying on some leftover pizza from the night before, or some unidentified wet spot…that I would honestly rather not know what it is. At least he is serious with Rose now because before the two of them started dating seriously you REALLY don't want to know the shit I would find stuffed in between the couch cushions."

All I could do was laugh at that. I mean I have lived on my own for several years now but working in a firehouse with a bunch of dudes you pretty much got used to finding disgusting shit in the couch cushions…but I thank God every day that there were no sexual liaisons occurring on the couches we had in our TV room at the house…that I knew of. I cringed at that thought…some of those guys were just plain old nasty fuckers so you never know.

"Well thanks again man, I will keep you and Alice posted as to my whereabouts as I'm driving out, that way you aren't completely stuck in the apartment all day Saturday should you have to run out for anything."

"Sounds good Edward. Oh and speaking of the devil, Emmett's here and he wants to talk to you for a second, so I'll put him on and then I will talk to you sometime on Saturday."

"Thanks Jasper." And with that I heard a bit of a shuffle and then Emmett got on the phone.

"Edward my man how's it going?" Emmett said in a big booming voice that vibrated in my ear.

"It's going, it's going."

"Great! Well I just wanted to talk to you because I have some great news for you."

"Oh yeah, and what might that be?" I said.

"I just heard from the higher ups at the Seattle Fire Department and I was able to pull a few strings and I got you a spot in a house starting a week after you arrive in Seattle. And not just in any old house, but in my house! It's gonna be great Edward. We have a really great group of guys here and the house is within walking distance of our apartment so even if you have a car you won't really need to worry about driving to work."

"Wow man are you serious?!?! Emmett I really owe you big man. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

I know that often when you transfer to another city there are instances when guys have to take a side job and wait for a spot to open in a house. Most of the spots are filled by graduates of the local fire academy so an outsider looking for a job normally gets put on a waiting list and has to hope that something will eventually open up. So not only did Emmett get me a spot but he got me a spot in his house. That would be really beneficial in helping me get to know the other guys better and find my groove in fighting fires in a new city that I was unfamiliar with.

"Hey man, don't mention it. I have spoken to Alice numerous times about your commitment to your job and you sound a heck of a lot like me. It takes a lot more then muscle and stamina to make it as a firefighter. You have to have heart and determination and from what Alice tells me…you are the real deal. I'm glad to have you in my house and I know the other guys are really looking forward to meeting you." I could have had you start right away but I figured you would like a few days to settle in to the apartment and get to know the surrounding area. That is why I am having you start the following Monday."

"I appreciate it Emmett…it will also give me one full weekend before I start to have you guys take me out on the town and introduce me to some of the local watering holes that you frequent."

"Now you are talking man…I knew I was going to like you the second Alice and Jasper told me that you were moving here! Okay well I know you are at work now so I'll let you go but I'll see you on Saturday. Oh and Edward?"

"Yes."

"Don't let Jasper fool you. There have been plenty of times that I have been at work pulling doubles and I am pretty much out of the apartment all weekend, so Jasper and Alice have the place to themselves, and I have come home and found plenty of…uh…interesting things in the couch."

"Emmett", I said mixed with laughter, "I'm sure you have, but I would rather not think about Jasper's escapades since they happen to include my cousin who is more like my sister, and that shit just really makes me sick."

"Ha ha ha", Emmett boomed with laughter. "You got a point there bro…but I just needed to point out that I am not the only nasty guy living in this apartment."

"Point taken man", I said, "I'll talk to you later." And with that Emmett and I hung up.

I walked back into the common room and filled Dave and the other guys in about the news that Emmett had just given me. Everyone agreed that I had gotten really lucky as I wouldn't have to go get a job making pizzas or something while I waited for a spot to open up in one of the Seattle houses.

Just then the alarm went off setting everyone into motion. Dave looked at me and said "so Cullen you ready to do this one last time with your Chicago guys?"

I stood up, looked at Dave straight in the eye and gave him one of my famous crooked smiles.

"Let's roll."

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The next morning I got home around 6:30 AM. I had a late night as we were called to a four alarm fire at an apartment complex a few blocks away from the house. We didn't get back to the house until about 4:30. I caught a few hours of sleep but when my shift was over I knew I had to get up and go home. I would have normally just stayed and went home once I got some rest but I knew I had to get home and start packing. I also knew that if I didn't start packing Alice would somehow know and then I risked her showing up in Chicago that night and not only beating me up but then staying and making the ride back with me to Seattle.

So I dragged myself home after stopping at the local U-Haul store to buy some boxes. I was going to be renting a U-Haul to move my boxes out there, and to also tow my car. So while I was there I double checked my reservation for the following day.

Packing really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Like I had told Alice on the phone I really only have to pack clothes. I also took my towels, sheets & comforter. Pete was going to be taking over my lease and he gave me some money to buy my furniture, plates, pots and pans and such. I really wouldn't need all that stuff since Emmett and Jasper were already settled into their apartment and had all that stuff.

The day was going pretty smoothly until I realized that I had to go down to the basement of my apartment building and get my boxes that were in my storage compartment down there. I knew what those boxes contained and I really didn't want to go down there but at the same time I knew I couldn't leave their contents behind.

All those boxes consisted of all things Tanya. There were pictures of her and I, candles and nick knacks that she had put around our apartment when she was living there. If I thought hard enough I was sure there was even a granola bar wrapper in one of the boxes that I found on the kitchen table from her breakfast the last day she was there. But I didn't dare open them. I just carried them upstairs and placed them with the rest of the stuff I had packed. I hadn't opened any of those boxes since I had first packed them up. It was just too hard.

After I finished packing it was nearly midnight. I knew I needed to get to bed because I had a really long day ahead of me but there was one more thing that I needed to do. I walked over to my laptop and turned it on. After it finished loading I opened up my email and started writing.

_Subject: Goodbye for now_

_Dear Tanya,_

_Hey sweetheart. I won't make this too long because I have to get to sleep, but I just wanted to let you know that I am leaving tomorrow. I will be driving most of the day on Friday and should be arriving in Seattle sometime Saturday evening. I'm all packed and ready to go. I didn't forget any of your stuff in storage. I'm bringing it with me. I know you would probably tell me that I am being crazy for not just throwing that stuff out but you know that I can't, not yet, maybe not ever. I know I won't be close enough to come and see you…not like I was ever able to get out of the car and actually come over to you…but you know what I mean. I just want you to know that I think about you every day and that won't change just because I am not in Chicago anymore. When I come back into town to visit my parents and stuff I will make sure you know and I will come and see you if that is okay. Well I better get some sleep. I'll write you when I get there to let you know how things are._

_I love you,_

_Edward_

_xoxo_

I hit send and then closed my eyes and felt a wave of anxiety shoot through me. I really hoped I was making the right decision by moving away from here, moving away from her. But I pushed those thoughts out of my head quickly and walked into the kitchen and took a shot of Jameson to calm me down and hopefully help me get to sleep. I walked into my bedroom and lay down on my bed. I let my mind wonder until sleep finally drew me under and I had a night of dreamless sleep.

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I walked back into my apartment after Pete had helped me get the last of the boxes into the truck. I took a last walk around checking to make sure there were no odds and ends that I had forgotten. It was really surreal to see my apartment looking so bare. Sure it had the furniture and stuff still in it but it felt empty. I was actually surprised I was feeling that right now because it had felt empty since Tanya had been gone. Once she wasn't there anymore it never really felt like home to me again. I heard Pete walk in behind me.

"Cullen the car is all hooked up to the trailer, so you should be all set and ready to go."

I turned to him, grabbed his hand and man hugged him to my shoulder. "Thanks Pete, I really appreciate all your help." I took my apartment key off my key ring and handed it to Pete. "Here you go man. Just promise me one thing. I know this apartment isn't much, but please take care of it for me."

Pete knew that I was saying this because this apartment had once been Mine & Tanya's and it would always be special to me.

"You got it Cullen."

I took one more look around and then walked out of the apartment and out to the truck. I climbed into the U-Haul and started the engine. I looked around my block and waved to some of my neighbors who knew I was leaving. I couldn't help it when I felt a tear drip down my face. I quickly wiped it away and told myself to get a grip. _Damn Cullen stop acting like a pussy._

As I started driving my phone started ringing and I didn't even need to look at it to know who would be calling me right then and there.

"Hello Alice."

"Hello Edward my dear, dear cousin. I'm glad you finally took off."

How the hell does she do that???

"There is seriously something off with you Pixie and I don't know what it is but I damn well am going to find out. But yes I did take off and I'll be driving until late tonight and then will stop when I get tired."

"Great! Listen Edward I know it was really tough for you to leave today but I just want to let you know that I have a really good feeling about all this. I just know there are going to be some really great things in store for you in the future. It's time to live your life again and stop wallowing in all the hurt and anger. You can't change the past but you definitely have a say in the future. I hate to say this, especially to you, but everything happens for a reason Edward. I just know there is a reason you are leaving Chicago and coming to Seattle. I think you are going to have a very…uh…beautiful, yes beautiful life here."

"Beautiful? Shit Alice I'm not a chick…you could have come up with 'fucking awesome, amazing, da bomb' life or some shit like that." Ha ha…I had to laugh at her.

"Shut up Edward, I was just looking at one of my roommate's utility bills on the kitchen table and her name means…and I thought it was a nice word to describe how your life could be here and…oh never mind Edward call me later you jerk."

After Alice hung up the phone I just chuckled to myself. I was really hoping that Alice was on to something, as she usually always is, because I really needed something better then what I was leaving behind in Chicago and hey, secretly, although I would never admit it to her, I actually wouldn't mind having a 'beautiful' life waiting for me in Seattle.

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**A/N: Well our guy is finally on his way. I hope you guys enjoyed getting to know our Edward a little bit. Please leave us some love or just comments in general by clicking on the review button below. **

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: SM owns it all. We're just having a little fun with the characters.**

**A/N: We have to thank our beta, **_**SweetDulcinea**_** for her help with this chapter. **

**If you are not reading her work, you should! Our personal favorites are **_**Mo Chroi**_** (selected as a Judge's Pick for the Summer of Smut Contest) and **_**Not Meant To Be**_** (a story that we are enjoying reading). Look in our profile for the link to SweetDulcinea.**

**Ok, we're done here. We believe this is the chapter you have been patiently awaiting ;)**

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**Chapter 5**

***BPOV***

It's been three weeks since my return to work and I feel like I finally have my groove back. I was completely immersed in creating lesson plans, getting to know my students, and organizing my classroom, that I hadn't even formally met Alice's cousin, Edward, yet.

He had been here for two weeks already, but our paths never crossed. Plus, Alice has been keeping Edward busy since the day he arrived from Chicago. She really wanted him to feel at home, so she took it upon herself to become the personal decorator for his room. What started out as an innocent project of helping Edward select a paint color and get new furniture for his personal space had become an entire apartment face lift, which meant painting the whole place, new wall hangings, and rearranging furniture.

I knew that Jasper and Emmett wouldn't dare say anything to her, for fear of incurring the wrath of Alice. I could imagine them cowering somewhere in a corner sucking their thumbs, afraid to even form any type of opinion. Alice lives for any kind of makeover, so whenever the opportunity arises, Alice pounces on it like a cat chasing a shadow on a wall.

I wasn't sure how Edward dealt with Alice's meddling, but he obviously didn't put up a fight because I would have heard an earful from her. I had a sneaking suspicion that Edward was the reason for the apartment's new look. Alice had said that Edward has had it rough for a while because of the break-up with his girlfriend. She wanted to include him in the decorating process so that he would feel like the apartment was just as much his as it was Jasper and Emmett's. Alice can be quite overbearing when she gets into a project, but I knew her heart was in the right place. She is fiercely protective of her cousin, as she was worried he would regret moving to Seattle.

Today was Friday and I was looking forward to the weekend, as Alice made plans for everyone to meet up tonight and officially welcome Edward to the city. I was excited to meet the person who Alice practically idolizes and who happens to be like a brother to her. If he was anything like my sweet and energetic Alice, then I knew we would have no problem in getting along. Since Jasper and Emmett, who have been like siblings to me since we were teenagers, were essentially going to take Edward under their wings, it would only be fitting for me to automatically accept Edward into our little family unit.

I was ecstatic that it wasn't raining today because I was taking my class on a field trip to the fire station as part of our social studies unit on Communities. Ever since I started teaching, I have walked my students to the nearby firehouse, which happened to be the same firehouse where Emmett- and now Edward- worked.

Emmett was the one who suggested this firehouse tour all those years ago because he had a way with children. I guess it helps that he's just a big goofy kid himself. But it meant more than that to Emmett. He took his job very seriously, and he was proud to play an important role in the community. I think he also wanted an excuse to play around in the big red fire truck.

As I was pairing up my students with a walking buddy, someone was tapping me on my shoulder.

"Miss Swan? Can I be your walking buddy?" This little boy, James asked me with the saddest blue eyes ever.

James was one of my challenging students, and that's putting it mildly. He came from a broken home (his father was in jail for assault and battery on his ex-girlfriend and his mom was currently on her third stint in rehab), so I knew I had to pay some extra attention to him. Unfortunately, I think I gave him a little too much attention because now he never wants to leave my side. He tries to spend as much time with me as he can by asking if he could eat lunch with me and wanting to do any odd classroom job I would give him. It's like he watches my every move, which is kind of creepy, but I keep reminding myself that he just doesn't know any better.

"Well James, I was thinking you could be Laurent's buddy, since he's new to the school and could use a good friend. I thought you would be the best person for the job so do you think you can do that?" I placed my hand on his shoulder and squatted down to his level.

"Alright, I'll be Laurent's buddy, if you really want me to," he conceded looking so downtrodden.

"Oh thank you James! I just know that you will set a great example for him and lead him in the right direction. Now go find him and get in line because we are just about ready to leave." I beamed a huge smiled at him and ruffled his hair showing my appreciation.

Once my students were paired up, we made our way to the entrance of the building, where we were meeting Angela's class. I spotted Angela and we smiled. She was a good friend here, more like a partner in crime. We would always pair our classes together whenever we had the opportunity, and we would plan lessons together. Angela and I are also happy hour buddies, as we needed to blow off some steam occasionally. In fact, I was hoping she would make it out tonight.

The walk to the fire house was only six blocks away, so there was no need for parents to join us on this trip. We were allowed to go with our classes on our own when we didn't have to travel too far and as long as the trip wasn't going to be all day.

As we turned the corner of the street the fire house was on, the students were shouting with excitement at the huge American flag in front blowing with the wind, waving us over.

We entered through the open garage door, and I noticed that there was only one truck parked. There was nobody standing around waiting for us, and no one was sitting at the dispatcher's desk that was off to the right.

_Where the hell is Emmett?_

He and a couple of the guys usually stood just outside the doors waiting to greet the kids. Emmett would also have an easel set up with chart paper and markers for some games he liked to play with the kids about fire prevention and safety.

"Where are the firemen? This place is deserted! I thought we were going to see some firemen!" Paul, one of my more impatient students, bellowed, his face contorting with anger. He was also very temperamental and just about anything would set him off if something wasn't going his way.

His buddy Sam placed his hand on one of his shoulders as he calmly said, "It's okay, Paul. I'm sure Miss Swan is going to find out what's going on." I loved Sam; he was Paul's best friend and the only person who seemed to be able to control his temper. I always made sure that I stayed on Sam's good side being that he was such a huge help.

I looked over the sea of students at Angela who gave me a perplexed expression. I shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head in the direction in front of me, a silent way of letting her know that I was going to see where everyone was. She immediately understood what I was doing and proceeded to gather both classes and sat them in rows right on the cement in front of the fire truck. I knew both classes were in good hands.

"Hello? Emmett, Seth, Mike- anyone here?" I asked looking in every direction.

_Shit! This is not good! Okay Bella, calm down and don't panic. They probably got a fire call and had to leave. But someone has got to be here to man the phones. Who was dispatching? Maybe they could salvage this trip._

As I was placating myself, I rounded the corner in a rush not looking in front of me and proceeded to slam my body into something that was so hard, I knew I must have banged right into a wall. I closed my eyes on impact, extending my arms to help break my fall.

I immediately opened my eyes once I felt the wall grabbing me by the forearms, startling me. My arms instantly got all tingly, and I felt an intense heat sensation that traveled throughout my body. I looked at what was grasping at my arms and realized that this wall was very human and very tall, because my head was facing a very broad chest…quite muscular, I might add, since my hands were clawing into this person's pectorals for dear life.

I started to peek my way up this chest and noticed some writing on my right spelling out in white lettering _"C-U-L-L-E-N."_

_Edward. Alice's cousin. I just slammed my body into Edward. What an ass I was for not looking where I was going!_

Upon this revelation, my cheeks began to flare up in embarrassment, no doubt staining my face red with mortification. Good god, I haven't even met this guy and already I was showcasing my clumsy side. Not to mention I was practically feeling him up…what I was feeling there?

_Mmmm, wonder what this feels like without the shirt on. Jesus, keep your hormones in check, Bella, there are kids waiting for you right around the bend for Christ's sake!_

It's been a while since I felt a man like this- couldn't I just linger here a bit longer?

_No, you can't!_

Edward clearing his throat was what brought me out of my trance and made me abruptly drop my hands, forcing me to actually look at his face.

_Sweet. Jesus._

I gaped as my mouth slightly parted because staring back at me was the most incredibly gorgeous face I had ever seen. I didn't know where to start looking first; I must have resembled some crazed lunatic with my eyes darting every which way.

His eyes, god those eyes were truly a beautiful sight. I was quickly becoming entranced staring into such rich emerald looking orbs, which were staring right back at me with such intensity that I would have gladly done whatever he asked of me.

_I don't think I've ever seen a color like this before_, I mused continuing my journey across his face.

And there it was- that sexy lopsided smirk that I had recognized from Alice's picture. I couldn't take my eyes from his grin, and it took all the control I had not to gently skim my fingers over those lips. I took a mental snapshot of just his mouth, a little treat for me whenever I needed some delicious inspiration during my "alone time."

Something tells me that my vibrator is coming out of hibernation in the near future…

_Say something you idiot! And for god's sake, close your damn mouth- the drool is starting to pool at the corner._

_But are you staring at the same god-like creature as me? I can't help it._

_Did you get a good look at the hair?_

_What? _

_The hair! Look up you fool- it's the hair that you admired from the same picture. Trust me, you won't be disappointed._

Okay, I was officially going crazy, and I thought I had been doing so well these days. My inner monologue was yelling at me, and it seemed as though hours had passed instead of mere seconds. I stole a glance at his head and came into contact with what can only be described as pure unadulterated sex hair. I'm talking the kind where you just want to grab and never let go. It was in complete disarray, wisps flying in every direction like it were made to do that on purpose, yet it had that "I just got out of bed" appeal to it. The bronze hue was the cherry on top of this incredible man-cake that I just wanted to take a tasty bite out of.

I had to clear my throat before I demanded that he press me against the wall, rip all my clothes off and allow his hands and his tongue explore me in every way imaginable.

Shit. I was starting to sweat, and my heart was beating rapidly.

"Uh, hey, sorry about that. Um…you're Edward right?" I brilliantly stammered, finally finding my voice.

"Maybe. Depends on who's asking," he was showing off that lopsided grin, appraising me in a way that made me wobble a bit at the knees. We were still standing in close proximity to one another.

"I'm Bella, Bella Swan. You know, Alice's roommate?" I smiled at him extending my hand, inviting him to shake it. He accepted the invitation, his face contorting a bit as our hands touched. I felt that same warming sensation as before begin to creep up my arm, awakening my senses a bit.

Edward immediately recoiled, taking his hand from mine as a hard look pressed against his face. He looked a little angry, the sexy smirk gone, and I had no idea why.

"Ah, Bella, yes- Alice had told me a lot about you. So I guess the _Cullen _on my shirt gave me away, huh?"

"Yup it did. I can't believe that we haven't had the chance to meet until now. How's it going upstairs with Jasper and Emmett?" I asked cocking my head to the side slightly.

"I can't complain yet. Jasper and Emmett are cool guys." That was all Edward offered to me with a blank expression on his face.

"Well…that's nice, I guess." I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable with the way he was looking at me. Had I said something wrong? Was he pissed that I bumped into him? "So, is Emmett here? I have my class here for their tour of the firehouse. He usually heads it up."

"Nope. Not here," Edward stated as he began to walk past me headed toward where our classes were.

I turned and followed him. "Could you tell me where he is?" I was starting to get annoyed with his evasiveness.

"Well, let's see. Look around Bella, and tell me what's missing. Hmmm," he scrunched up his face in mocking thought. "There's one fire truck missing, the fire uniforms are not hanging where they should be, and there's not another guy here. What do you think could be the reason for that?" He was trying to make me feel stupid, which only ignited the fire burning inside me. I was fuming.

"Emmett's out with the guys on a call, and you stayed here to dispatch, no doubt nobody wanted to ride with you on account of your attitude!" I placed my hands on my hips and gave it right back to him, standing my ground. _Asshole!_

"Wow. Funny," he quipped as he continued walking. _What the fuck was his problem?!_

"Wait!" I called. "Well there are two classes sitting on the ground out there ready to tour this place and have been anxiously waiting for a chance to sit in the fire truck."

"And that would be my problem because…" Jesus, he wasn't giving me any room to work with him!

"I didn't say that it was your problem. It's just that Emmett usually runs this tour and since he's not here, I was hoping that you would be able to help me and Angela out by giving the tour yourself," I oozed with kindness trying to woo Edward into helping me. I even took my bottom lip into my mouth and bit the side of it slightly. I was shamelessly trying to flirt. Hey, couldn't hurt right?

He didn't take the bait. "I really don't have the time right now to entertain some kids who think that fighting fires is just a job where you get to ride around in a shiny red truck."

"These kids are eight and nine years old, Edward," I said his name with force. "What do you expect for them to think? They don't understand the seriousness of being a firefighter. That's why I am asking you to speak to them- to educate them about your job."

"Well, like I said I don't have time. I have only been here for a couple weeks and am still getting used to my new surroundings and routines. I really can't handle babysitting a bunch of children," he sneered, his eyes boring into mine.

I huffed and he began to make his way towards the students, with me following close behind him. Once he was in sight of them, the kids began to cheer. Little did they know that this prick was about to ruin their day. Edward put his hands up in an effort to quiet them down.

"Hey kids, I'm sorry but there will not be a tour of the firehouse today. You see, everyone is out on a fire call, and I have to stay by the phone and act as a dispatcher," he explained as he sauntered over to the dispatcher's desk and took a seat.

Immediately there were shouts of disappointment. "Why can't you do it? You're here!" Paul shouted and looked up at him, trying to lead Edward in a stare down. He didn't even bother to answer the child. Instead, he just sat there and looked at me waiting for me to take control of the situation.

_Wimp! _He was probably scared of kids.

"Paul, please calm down," I pled. "Mr. Emmett, who usually does this tour, is out fighting a real fire along with the others. I'm sorry, but we have to leave now and go back to class." There was a collective, "Aaawwww" from both classes. Angela furrowed her brows, looking just as confused as the kids. I felt like such a tool. I couldn't believe that Edward just left me hanging like that in front of everyone.

"Okay, everybody find your buddy and get in line. We need to get back, as we have wasted enough of Mr. Cullen's time," I said through clenched teeth, trying to remain in control as I looked over at Edward.

He flashed a smile at everyone and said, "Sorry kids. Maybe you can come back another time when there are people here to help you." And with that he sat back in his chair and waved, leaving me and Angela to pick up the pieces of forty-five students' broken hearts.

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Still reeling from today's disaster of a field trip, I treated myself to a nice calm and relaxing bubble bath as soon as I stepped foot in my door. As I slowly dipped myself into the steaming hot water, I let the bubbles wash over my body one limb at a time and set my head on a bath pillow closing my eyes.

All I envisioned was bronze colored hair in enigmatic disarray, sea green eyes penetrating into my own dusty brown ones, and that crooked smile.

Edward.

I groaned and rubbed my hands on my face, desperately trying to erase his gorgeous features from my memory. I didn't want to picture Edward after what he pulled today and how he acted towards me. I didn't want to bask in the feeling of his hands on me, eliciting the most incredible electric sensation traveling through my body. I didn't want to remember what his muscular chest felt like in my hands, and I certainly didn't want to think of grabbing his face and crushing my lips to his and never coming up for air.

My emotions were all over the place. On the one hand, Edward was so revered by Alice that I was sure that there was some good in him. He couldn't be that mean all the time, could he? I just didn't understand why he was such an asshole to me.

Then there was the fact that, asshole or not, let's face it- Edward was fucking hot, and he stirred something inside of me that I thought had died when I lost Jake. In fact, I was experiencing a new feeling that I never encountered in all my years with Jake, and that was scary in and of itself.

I felt myself start to get a little heated, and a tingly feeling between my legs began to form, creating a dull ache. My nipples grew hard from just the mere thought of Edward touching me. I needed to ease the tension that was quickly building up inside me if I was going to have to face Edward and everyone else tonight. Chugging all the beers in the whole bar wasn't going to fix this.

My hands started to travel up my body, skimming over my stomach and reaching to my breasts. I began to rub my palms over my hardened nipples.

A low whimper escaped my lips as I imagined my hands were Edward's hands exploring my tits, massaging them and teasing my nipples with tiny pinches.

I moved my legs so that my feet were planted on the bottom of the tub and spread my legs as one of my hands released my breast and descended to the one place it was needed the most, my throbbing core.

My fingers glided up and down my lips, teasing my entrance as I began to breathe heavily out of my nose.

As if having a mind of their own, my fingers spread my lips to gently rub my wet clit.

My breathing hitched. God, it felt so good! I hadn't had a release in a very long time, and I was wound so tight I thought I was going to burst the second my fingers found their own rhythm swirling around my center.

I threw my head back and moaned softly as I imagined Edward teasing me with the gentlest of feather light touches and little pats on the aching need between my thighs.

My two fingers were his two fingers that eventually plunged inside me. They wasted no time in pumping hard and fast, creating a delicious friction. I knew I wasn't going to last very long. I could feel the knots in my body unraveling bit by bit as I allowed the thought of Edward's touches to completely take over my mind.

My stomach grew tight and a surge of heat ran over me as my release drew near. My chest was heaving from my frantic breaths, my pulse ringing in my ears.

I pressed my thumb to my swollen clit, stimulating it even more as I continued to pump my fingers in an out of myself, and my body started to shake, my back arching up and my legs not being able to stand the pleasure anymore.

I erupted and cried out as I came all over my fingers. My legs flopped back down into the water, causing the frothy bubbles to spill over the side of the tub.

I let out a huge breath and plopped back down with my head resting on the pillow looking up at the ceiling.

My entire body felt like jelly, and I started to giggle over the fact that I was completely relaxed and calm. Yes, I fucking giggled.

I shook my head at the hilarity of the situation.

I thought back to my morning: I bumped into Edward…literally, became entranced by his utter beauty, and was captivated by his panty dropping stare. And that smirk- don't get me fucking started on that god damned smirk- that made me want to become his love slave. Forever.

I scrunched my face in frustration as I thought about how abruptly Edward's mood changed from being a tad flirtatious to becoming a colossal dickhead for no reason in a matter of moments. When his eyes bore into mine, I felt a connection to Edward, and I was having a hard time accepting that for some reason, he possibly didn't like me. I wanted to scold myself, feeling like a complete ass for using Edward as my inspiration for my bath time fun, but I didn't.

My body began to shiver, signaling that my time was up and that I needed to get ready for tonight.

Ugh, tonight. How the fuck was I going to act around Edward tonight? For Christ's sake, I had just masturbated to thoughts of him! How was I going to look him in those hypnotizing green eyes and speak coherently?

Then I thought of the way Edward left me and my class in the lurch at the firehouse and I remembered how much of a bastard he was. I was still angry with him, and I wasn't sure what I was going to do or say to him.

I climbed out of the tub and dried myself off, wrapping my body up in a towel. I wiped the steam from the mirror making a swooshing sound and stared at myself. Except this time, I didn't try to seek out my flaws.

Instead, I reveled in the rush of my orgasm, noticing how I was glowing and how my eyes were dancing with excitement. I felt alive and it felt good. I was apprehensive as to how I was going to let my emotions dictate me.

I wasn't ready to let anyone get too close to me. I was still petrified of getting my heart stomped on again, but Edward had ignited a small fire in me, and I wasn't anywhere near ready to extinguish those flames.

It was right then and there I realized what this meant for me.

I was truly fucked.

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***EPOV***

I got home from work a little after 6:30 PM. Jasper was sitting on the couch drinking a beer and watching TV. I gave him a nod and he nodded back. Then he told me that there was beer in the fridge and to help myself. I thanked him and headed for the kitchen. Even though we were all going out to the bar tonight to drink I figured a beer or two before I left couldn't hurt.

I grabbed a drink out of the fridge, cracked it open and took a long chug. Then I may, or may not have burped the entire alphabet.

"Damn," Jasper said, "and I thought Emmett had skills". We both laughed.

It felt good to laugh, especially today of all days. I had a very interesting day at work to say the least. I had just showed up for my shift to find all the guys suiting up and getting ready to head out to an alarm. I immediately started to spring into action and rushed over to start getting dressed when Emmett told me that they had to take off immediately and that I should just stay and man the dispatch.

I was more of an action guy. If I wanted to work behind a desk and answer phones I would have fucking gotten a job as a secretary. I wanted to go out on the truck with the other guys, but I didn't argue. Emmett was my superior, and I was still the low man on the totem pole. So I knew that if they needed someone at that moment to stay and answer the phone, then I would have to do it and keep my fucking mouth shut.

So needless to say that started my mood out on the wrong foot for the day.

After sitting there for an hour, I decided that I had to go take a leak, so I got up and went to the bathroom. When I was done I washed my hands and then stood there for a second looking at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a complete mess…shocker, and my skin looked a little pale. When I first saw Alice after arriving in Seattle she had just looked at me and shook her head. She then suggested that maybe I go tanning.

"_Yeah and right after that maybe we can go get our nails and toes done_," I had said to her in a sarcastic voice, in which she just responded, _"fucker"_ and then smacked me in the back of the head.

I really needed to reconsider this move…it was definitely easier talking to her over the phone than having to walk around all bruised and battered whenever my smart ass mouth slipped up to Alice in person.

I finally came back to reality and exited the bathroom to head back to the dispatch desk. I was just rounding the corner when all of a sudden I smacked head on into something, or someone I should say.

It scared the shit out of me to be honest because I was the only person there and hadn't expected anyone to show up. I looked down and all I saw was the top of the girl's head. She had her face pressed up into me, and she was practically clawing at my chest. I grabbed her arms because she looked like she might fall backwards from the impact of our collision.

Call me insane but the second my hands touched her arms I felt this intense wave wash through me. I don't know if it was just the adrenaline of being caught off guard or what, but I felt like my hands were burning on her skin; all tingly and shit.

After what felt like hours but was actually more like seconds, she looked up at me and I was met with the most beautiful, big brown eyes I had ever seen.

To say that this girl was pretty would be a gross understatement. She was much more then pretty; she was beautiful, and not in that typical male magazine, pin-up girl kind of way. She was a classic beauty. She had long brown hair that had a slight wave to it. She was dressed professionally but still had a little sex appeal to the clothes and from what I could tell…her figure was on point. She was petite and her body looked tight. She wasn't tiny like Alice, but she only came up to my chest.

I noticed that she was staring at me, almost eye fucking me with the intensity of her stare, and I couldn't help it when a smirk crept across my face because she still had her hands pressed up against my chest and the rest of her body was almost flush against mine.

_Shit, _I needed to get a hold on this situation because I didn't even know who this person was, or what she was doing here, but if she continued holding on to me the way she was I had a feeling I was going to be throwing her up against a wall very soon and fucking the shit out of her.

I cleared my throat, seemingly snapping her back into reality when she finally composed herself took a step back and spoke.

"Uh, hey, sorry about that. Um…you're Edward right?"

She knew me? How the hell did she know me and I had no idea who she was? I certainly wouldn't forget a face like hers had I met her before. And for fuck's sake…I just moved here a few weeks ago and didn't know anyone other than my cousin and a few of her friends, so what gives? But in the same breath, who was I to complain that a hot chick just walked into my firehouse and knew who I was? I was feeling all sorts of cocky in the moment.

"Maybe. Depends on who's asking," I said, flashing my famous crooked smile that had made the ladies swoon my whole life. I had gotten more panties to drop with that smile alone in my life then I could count. Yes, I was definitely feeling cocky right now.

"I'm Bella, Bella Swan. You know, Alice's roommate?" she said and held out her hand for me to shake.

I immediately felt my stomach drop as I made the connection. I had heard from Alice about her friend Bella for years after they roomed together in college. I had never actually met her, but I had seen pictures of her from time to time. I really don't think I had seen any recent pictures of her, so I guess I didn't make the connection when I saw her because she certainly didn't look like some college freshman with an extra fifteen pounds slapped on her ass.

I was growing uncomfortable because here I was ogling over the first hot girl that I came into contact with in Seattle and it had to be my fucking cousin's roommate of all people.

I reluctantly reached out and shook her hand, immediately feeling that pulse of electricity shoot through me again, and to be honest, it fucking scared the shit out of me. I haven't even looked at, or even been remotely attracted to, another woman since Tanya. So these involuntary feelings I was having were catching me completely off guard.

I pulled my hand away from hers entirely too quickly, but I couldn't help it. It's one thing to get all hot and bothered over a random chick, but not one who was my cousin's best friend. Not someone who I would inevitably be spending time around.

She made me feel something that I had never felt before; even though I wasn't entirely sure what that was, but I didn't fucking like it.

She looked kind of hurt by my abruptness, but I pushed that aside. I almost started feeling anxiety about her proximity to me and I needed to get her out of here _now!_ It was actually starting to get me mad.

I had built up a lot of walls to protect myself over the past year, and I'll be damned if I was going to let some little, brown haired, doe-eyed girl crack that on me my second week here. So I guess this is where Dickward kicked in. He was my best defense when I felt vulnerable and unsure, so like the dick he allowed me to be, I let him come out and play.

I still had no idea why she was here, but she quickly explained that she had brought her class here and that Emmett was supposed to give them a tour of the house and trucks and then give them a little lesson on fire safety.

When she asked me where Emmett was, I gave her an answer that was a lot ruder than she deserved. It wasn't her fault that Emmett had to go out on an alarm, and it certainly wasn't her fault that I was an emotionally void prick who couldn't handle being around an attractive woman…well maybe that was a little her fault. I mean, did she have to look and smell so fucking good?

But let me tell you something, she totally called me out on my attitude, saying that I was rude. Damn that was hot.

_Fuck Cullen, get a grip on yourself! Just do what you have to do, say what you have to say, and get her out of here._

She wanted me to show the class around, and although I love kids and could've done it, I just needed her to go. So I stuck to my guns, telling her that I had to man the phones and I couldn't do it.

I felt really guilty.

I knew I had hung her out to dry in front of her class and the other teacher who was with her, but what could I do? I really did need to watch the phones, but I also knew that was a big fat excuse.

There was something about this woman that was drawing me to her, and I just was not ready to be feeling that kind of crap right now. Yes…she definitely needed to take her class and leave.

Finally defeated, she left, but not before giving me the most evil fucking look I have ever seen. This girl obviously had taken the bait that Dickward threw at her and I could tell she now hated me. I wouldn't have to worry about avoiding her because I was fairly confident she would want nothing to do with me. That thought pained me slightly but I knew it was for the best.

Well that is until Alice found out…then I was surely going to have my balls handed to me on a platter. I'm sure Alice never intended for me and her best friend to get off to such a shitastic start. She wouldn't understand why I had been so rude to Bella, and I clearly couldn't explain to her that it is because I was having thoughts of bending her over a table and doing the dirty to her from behind. So she would just think I was an asshole for no reason and there would definitely be consequences in my near future from the wrath of my cousin.

I filled Emmett in on the situation when the guys returned from the fire. Of course, I left out the part where I was a dick who refused to give the tour myself. I just told him that I thought I should stay by the phones and suggested to Bella that she reschedule with Emmett. Thankfully he bought my story and told me that he would talk to Bella tonight and reschedule when we all went out.

Shit! I hadn't even thought that far in advance. Bella was going to be there tonight with us all.

Why was this freaking me out so much? I had clearly overreacted. She was a pretty girl, sure, but I didn't even know her. I needed to chill the fuck out. Just because we were going to be hanging around in the same circle didn't mean I needed to become her best friend and be up each other's asses at all times.

_Ahhh but what a fine looking ass she has, _I sighed_._

_Snap the fuck out of it Cullen. Oh yeah…right, as I was saying..._

When I go out tonight, I can be civil and social, but that is it. She clearly hates me anyway so it shouldn't be too hard to avoid interacting with her.

I walked out of the kitchen, past Jasper and into my room. I had to admit that Alice had done a great job helping me set up my room. I'm not sure how much the other guys liked her redecorating the rest of the apartment in the process, but I knew that I wasn't the only one afraid of her. All I could think about was Jasper…_poor bastard_. I laughed. Hey, I had no choice but to be related to her. He took on that tornado of his own free will.

I decided that I might as well take a nap before we all headed out tonight. I kicked my shoes off and got into my bed. As soon as my eyes closed, Bella's face popped into my head and I felt myself starting to get hard.

_Well now what do we have here?_ I must have been hornier than I thought. I mean, a year of not being with a woman is bound to do that to a man but hot damn. The first fine girl that I come into contact with and all of a sudden I'm like a fucking thirteen year old kid who can't control his dick.

I tried to ignore it and fall asleep, but I just kept seeing her face, her eyes, her hair. And I was 'growing' increasingly more uncomfortable. I finally gave up. I could try to not think about _her _but that didn't mean I needed to neglect myself in the process by having a painful hard on pushing against my pants.

So I rolled onto my back and undid my pants. I slid my hand down into my boxers and grabbed myself, stroking myself slowly up and down.

I started thinking about Bella's hands on my chest, her body pressed up to mine, the heat of her skin on my hands as I touched her arms. I thought about how her ass looked perfect in the skirt that fit her snug. I pictured what it would feel like to run my tongue across her lips and into her mouth. I wanted to smooth my hands from her arms to her back and down to grab her ass. I wanted to lift her up and have her wrap her legs around my waist as I pushed her back into the wall.

My strokes started becoming more rapid, and I knew that I wasn't going to last very long. It had been a while since I took care of business and after seeing Bella today, I felt like some kind of flood gate had opened.

The tension in my stomach ran down into my legs, and my muscles started tensing up and twitching. I threw my head back into my pillow and clenched my eyes shut as I pumped myself furiously.

My last thought was of Bella again and how if her mouth tasted nearly as good as I imagined I could only imagine how good other parts of her would taste in my mouth. I would love to run my tongue from her mouth and along her jaw. I would run it down her neck and over her tits, stopping to taste her nipples. I would continue down before settling between her thighs and tasting her sweet center. With that, I exploded. It took all my self control to not scream out loud because I knew Jasper was just outside on the other side of my door.

I stayed still for a moment, coming down from the volcanic eruption that I had just produced from my own body. My breathing started to slow, but I was covered in sweat.

Then out of nowhere the anxiety hit.

_What the hell was I doing? _Not that there was anything wrong with giving myself the pleasure of my own hand, but I was doing it all while imagining Bella Swan. She was nothing more to me then my cousin's friend. I didn't know her at all.

I started to feel guilty because I hadn't gotten off to anyone else besides Tanya in years, and I didn't know where these thoughts were coming from. I loved Tanya and that was it.

So why was Bella Swan taking over all my thoughts if I really didn't care anything at all about her existence?

I obviously didn't know much about what was going on in my head right now, but there was one thing I did know for a fact…

I was truly fucked.

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**So they finally meet! Unfortunately, it's a bit if a rocky start. Now the fun can begin! **

**Up next: What's in store for their Friday night out?**

**We cannot express enough gratitude to those of you who have added us to their story alerts, author alerts, and favorite stories list. You know what would be even sweeter, though? If all of you would say "Hi" and leave a review we would be forever grateful! Have a good fic to recommend? Leave it in your review and we will post it in future notes. So please, tell us what you think of our dear Edward and Bella.**

**Reviews are better than slamming into Edward and feeling him up. Well…almost!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- We're back! Sorry it took a little longer than usual. This chapter kind of kicked my ass. A huge thank you goes out to our saving grace, **_**SweetDulcinea**_**, our beta extraordinaire. She makes sure our writing doesn't suck.**

***To our fanfic e-mail group (You know who you are)- Not only are you such fabulous friends, you ladies make us pee our pants on a daily basis. We give you huge boob squeezes…nln***

**Disclaimer: Definitely not ours, but there's no harm in wishing it was.**

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By the time Alice got home, I was perched on our leather sofa, drinking a beer (a little pre-gaming before going to the bar never hurt), and watching the best show to ever grace the television world, _Seinfeld_. Just when Kramer stormed into Jerry's apartment like an angry wind, clutching onto the door as his knees gave way, Alice whirled into our place like a tornado with bags flying about around her head. I chuckled softly at the parallels between Kramer and Alice. Both fit into their own category of human, with no one able to emulate them. Each had a certain flair and panache for fashion, creating a name for themselves. I have always been partial to Kramer's lobster button down shirt, and his pairing of dark shoes with white socks. Both were very odd by nature and the fact that they had such creative hair styles that you couldn't replicate even if you really tried didn't go unnoticed either.

Alice set down her bags with a muffled thump, marched right over to me, and grabbed the beer out of my hand. "Your bedroom. Now!" She looked at me with such distain as she took in my TV watching form. _Geez, what's got her panties in a bunch?_

"Well, good evening to you, too, my dear," I drawled as I blew her a kiss. I reached up to take claim over my beer again, but she moved it higher so it was out of my grasp. She's damn lucky that I was sitting…fucking little pixie. I was in no mood after the day that I had. I just wanted to partake in a little pumpkin ale and relax before we went out. Truthfully, I needed to get my buzz on a little before I could face Edward in the bar. Especially since he starred in my bath time fun when I know he shouldn't have since he was a colossal prick earlier today.

Alice took my kidnapped bottle and proceeded to chug the remaining contents. When she was finished, she practically tossed the bottle in the sink, making it land with a sharp clinking sound. Alice stomped back over, eyes raking over me once again, like she was on a mission. _What the hell was her problem? Great, this whole attitude out of nowhere runs in the family. It took Edward's moving here to awake the beast within Alice. Grrr…Edward! _I quickly tried to squelch any thoughts of him and decided to voice my previous thought.

"Uh, Alice? What gives? And for the love for all that's good and holy, why oh why did you pilfer my beer? That was my last pumpkin ale! Pumpkin Alice…you know how I wait for the fall season to arrive so I can indulge in this tasty treat. So I will ask you again, what the hell is your problem?" I rose out from my comfortable spot and leered over her.

"Bella, honey," she started in a sickly sweet voice. "You do realize that we are going out tonight, right?"

"Yes. I have been waiting for you for the past forty-five minutes, hence the reason for enjoying my alcoholic refreshment." I stood back a bit from her as I saw the wheels in her head turning.

Alice started to get in her crouching position she reserved for when she was about to erupt. This was scary Alice. This Alice took no prisoners and would scale and claw at you for a specific reason. I could not for the life of me think of a reason why she would turn all crazy on me as I noticed Alice stealthily approaching, eyeing me like I was the last pair of Jimmy Choos at an underground tag sale.

_What the fu- Oh, I get it now._

"I take it you don't approve of my outfit," I laughed a little too nervously. Damn, she was really freaking me out. I backed away from her and I realized she was slowly leading me down the hall and into my room.

Alice hastened her pace towards me, her petite form gliding along the floor, hands waving about. "Tell me something my darling brown-eyed beauty. Is it too much to ask for you to try and make an effort to look a somewhat sexy? Have you not learned _anything_ I have taught you about fashion? I own a boutique and design my own clothing. Has nothing rubbed off of you from all these years of having the pleasure of being my best friend?" Wow, she was actually shaking. I feared her, really.

I guess the _Blue October_ t-shirt, boyfriend jeans, and black Chuck Taylors weren't cutting it for Alice. Did she honestly think that I would go out on a Friday night looking like this? I shook my head slightly thinking about how easy it was to mess with Alice on my choices in clothing.

I held my hands up in surrender, knowing the moment I stepped foot into my bedroom, my execution would await me. Alice was going to transform me into some unrecognizable vixen. Normally, I would welcome this, as it was the usual occurrence when we went out. The amount of time she would spend on primping me is what royally sucked. Nothing could stop this g-force that Alice created when she was in this mood. It would literally suck the life out of you if you tried to block it. Problem was I desperately wanted to be in my comfort zone if I was planning on confronting Edward about his unruly behavior, and I wasn't quite sure what Alice had in store for me.

"Alice, please just let me wear my Chuck's. I have been on my feet all day. They won't survive the foot binding you have in store for them. I implore you, have mercy on me," I pleaded, hoping that she wouldn't try to stuff my feet into narrow stiletto heels. As my back made contact with my bedroom door with a thump, I knew doom awaited me. Alice plopped her bags down by my bed and turned to me, surveying the scene before her.

"Alright, Swan. Strip! I can't look at you for another moment wearing that outfit," the clothing Gestapo ordered, crossing her arms and tapping her little Prada wearing foot. Alice turned to retrieve what was hiding in her bags like a magician pulling out his magic scarves that never ended. She proceeded to pull out the most amazing silver sleeveless silk blouse and a pair of skinny jeans, which were vintage looking and happen to be my favorite. Alice knew that, which explained the evil glint in her eyes as she stared at me. Right away I began to shed my clothing, accepting defeat, a silent admission that I was a little excited to try on the outfit. I couldn't help it. Whenever Alice had me wear clothing that she designed, I felt a sense of pride that I was wearing a popular Alice Cullen original.

To say that the silver blouse I was now donning was beautiful would be a severe understatement. Alice was so damn talented and she had busted her ass for years to get where she is today. I felt like a proud mama as I looked at my appearance in the mirror. The shirt was silk, had a metallic shimmer to it, and the best part was the tiered ruffling that ran across my chest. There was a smidge of navy blue peeking out at the bottom of it. Alice may have won the clothing war, but I won a small battle. Turned out that she did have some mercy on me and brought home the sweetest pair of Jimmy Choo patent leather ballerina flats with little silver stars splayed about on them.

I would never admit just how much I really enjoyed when Alice played dress-up Barbie with me because that would give her the ultimate power to completely take over my clothing choices. I still needed some sense of clothing independence for my own sanity. This is why I love to dress down whenever I am lounging in the apartment or off running errands. If Alice had her way, I would be a glamazon all the time. Truthfully, I loved tricking Alice into believing that I didn't prefer dressing up and looking hot when we went out, hence the reason for my attire she saw me in earlier. She was such an easy target. What Alice wasn't aware of was that I needed to look insatiable tonight if I wanted Edward to notice me. My face began to heat up at the mere thought of seeing him.

Although I was still miffed at Edward for the attitude he dished out to me at the fire house this morning, I couldn't deny the fact that he was the star of my killer fantasy that led to my self-love session in the tub. It gave me the boost of confidence I needed to talk to him. I wanted to be attractive to Edward while at the same time giving off a vibe that I simply didn't care who he was. Why not look hot doing it? I couldn't let anyone know right now how Edward had affected me in such a short span of time. I shivered slightly, remembering the electric current that cruised through my body when I made contact with him. I had never experienced that before with anyone, not even with Jake. Not to mention, I wasn't ready for the onslaught of emotions that would awaken my dormant heart if I shared my feelings on him aloud. For Christ's sake, this man was kindling thoughts of me possibly wanting to date again, and it terrified me. With one last look in the mirror, I flipped my hair over my shoulders, causing the waves to cascade down to the middle of my back. I felt empowered and I was anxious for this night to begin.

On our walk to Felix's, I told Alice everything about my not so nice encounter with her cousin. She was completely floored by it, but she still felt the need to defend Edward. "I can't believe my stupid cousin acted like such an ass!" She huffed and then faced me with pleading eyes. "Bella, are you sure he wasn't just having a bad day? I mean, he moved to a strange city, is now living with two men whom he hardly knows, and not to mention he started a new job. I hope you can look past his appalling behavior and get to know the person behind the asshole mask."

Ah, here we go with the excuses for Edward. "Alice, I get that maybe he was in a foul mood, but that's no excuse for him being a complete dick, even after I told him who I was. You would think he would have been a tad happier to meet me, you know, with me being your best friend and all, instead of practically shoving me out of the fire house on my ass."

"I see your point and it is duly noted, which is why Edward should be very afraid of me when he sees me." I could swear I saw the smoke coming out of her ears and the wheels turning in her head as Alice plotted what she was going to do. A wicked smile played on my face at the thought of Alice sticking it to Edward. Oh yes, this was going to be an interesting night!

After making our way to the bar and getting our drinks, we swam through the sea of people, elbowing them when they invaded our personal space. We spotted Rose sitting at our usual table, looking gorgeous with her creamy pale skin contrasting with the vibrant red low cut shirt she was wearing, showing off her naturally voluptuous breasts, sipping her martini and shaking her head to the beat of the song the dj was playing. She eyed us mid sip and waved her free hand at us.

"Hey girls! Did you bump into the guys at all? They were getting drinks too," Rose shouted over the mingling mix of the sound of the song being played and people talking. My stomach immediately dropped with the knowledge that Edward was already here. I needed to have at least one drink to calm my nerves. As a nervous reaction, I slowly started to pick at my beer bottle label. My hands were already clamming up when suddenly, the tiny hairs on my neck begin to rise up, feeling as though a magnet was trying to pull them to its source.

"Here they come now," Alice nodded in the direction we had just come from, bouncing at the sight of her soul mate. Upon turning around to face the crowd, I spotted Jasper, leading the way looking straight at Alice with such devotion as people seemed to part to make room for the guys. Next was Emmett, a wide grin aimed right at me- _why was he grinning at me and not Rose?_ As if he heard my thoughts, Emmett proceeded to glance in Rose's direction, a hungry expression threatening to expose just how lustful he was for his woman.

And then…no one. _Where's Edward? _I wondered, a feeling of disappointment running over my body, preparing to swallow me whole. Then I noticed a splash of bronze coloring amidst the crowd opening. My heart rate sped up considerably as I eyed up the haphazard display that was Edward's hair. My body perked up, responding to his mere presence and goose bumps popped to life on my arms. I got the nerve to actually look at him only to find that he was staring right back at me with that crooked grin neatly placed on his beautiful face. He was holding two pint glasses of beer. I guess he was double fisting tonight. Maybe he knew Alice was going to smack him on the head.

I took Edward in, noticing that he oozed sex appeal with his jeans riding low on his waist and the sleeves of his black button down shirt rolled up to show off his muscular forearms, and his—_wait a minute. Are those black Converse sneakers he was wearing? _Holy shit, I would have to try to have sex with him just for the fact that those sneakers complimented his outfit in a way that made my girly parts tingle. I know that they are only a pair of shoes, but it was Edward wearing these shoes and he was sex on legs. Enough said.

His journey to our table ended with Edward standing directly in front of me, holding out a pint glass. _Was that beer for me?_ I, on the other hand, had not taken the glass from him because since I was sitting, I was far too engrossed by the fact I was face to face with his crotch. I was instantly curious if he was a boxer or briefs guy- _please let it be boxers…or commando maybe? Mmm, that would be a sight I bet. I wonder what he was packing behind the zipper._ I mean, there was a big bulge, but I couldn't get a definitive picture, as his jeans were a tad baggy. _Damn!_

Just when he was about to say something to me, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye as quick as a flash, darting for Edward. Alice stood on her chair and proceeded to smack Edward right on his head, ruffling his sex hair. Yes, I said sex hair because it was the kind you held on to for dear life in sheer moments of ecstasy. My body flushed with desire at that thought. Edward winced as the beer in the glasses sloshed around, spilling over the sides, and creating a splatter of beer artwork on the floor, barely missing my shoes.

"EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN! How dare you act like such a dick to Bella!" Alice scolded, shaking her fists at him. Now it was my turn to grin while I batted my eyelashes at him. Edward's panty dropping smirk faded, giving way to the look of shock that adorned his face.

"Ali-" Edward turned and started to explain.

"Don't you Alice me, you ass! " This time, she grabbed hold of his ear, pulling his face down to one side. "Now you listen and you listen good! Bella is my best friend and an important link to our little family unit here. I will allow you to be nothing but the perfect gentleman that I know is hiding under that dickface mask you wore today. Don't make a fool out of me, Edward. I have always held you in the brightest of lights, but I will take you down if you mess with my Bella again! Got it? Now, say you're sorry to Bella," she ordered as she released her hold on Edward's ear, his head springing back up like a rubber band.

Setting his beers on the table, Edward rubbed his ear with one hand, while running his other through his hair. "I'm sorry Bella," he repeated, his emerald eyes piercing my brown ones. I couldn't look away, as his stare immediately entranced me...yet again.

"Uh, it's fine…no problem," I stammered, a blush creeping up and staining my cheeks. _Why must I become a mental mute when I try to talk to him?_

Sensing my floundering, Edward dazzled me with his lopsided smile that surely was going to be the death of me, holding a beer out to me again. "Here, I got this for you," he stated in a velvety soft voice that I hadn't noticed this morning.

_Huh, a peace offering. That has to be the cutest thing. Ever. _

Taking the side of my lower lip with my teeth, I bit down gently. "Thanks," I said simply, looking up at him through my lashes. As he handed me my beer, our fingers gingerly brushed, causing that electrifyingly warm sensation to course through my veins. This spasm of electricity ignited the heat that was starting to stir between my legs. I felt my face flare up…again. Edward nodded to me, a genuine smile dancing along his face. He ran his hand through his bronze locks, causing the hair to stand on end a bit and shook his head slightly. I heard him chuckle softly, creating the most melodic sound I longed to hear over and over. Time stood still for me for the second time today.

Our little exchange did not go unnoticed, as I looked over and saw four sets of eyes taking us in like they were watching an engrossing film. Alice looked like she was contemplating something. A wicked grin was desperately trying to crawl out of her composed demeanor. I knew that look. _What the hell was she plotting now?_ Jasper had a look of wonderment about him, Emmett was…well being Emmett, as he wagged his eyebrows up and down at me. Then there was Rosalie, who cocked her head to the side, an arched eyebrow raised, and an evil glint in her eyes. _What the fuck is wrong with them? Were their drinks laced with something?_

"What?" I spat out at them. My body was half turned to them, half toward Edward, as if the magnetic pull I was feeling from his close proximity was fighting for my undivided attention.

"Nothing baby girl," Emmett winked at me.

_Okay…_

"Come on guys, let's go play some darts," Jasper suggested beginning to leave, but not without giving Alice a chaste kiss on her lips.

Emmett clapped his hands and rubbed them together. He was obviously pumped that he was going to engage in a sport, even though it was only darts. "Alright, let's do this motherfuckers!" he shouted. "Care to make a friendly wager and make this game a little interesting fellas?" Emmett could turn just about anything into a gambling event. He leaned down, grabbed Rosalie by the back of her neck, pulled her to him, and ravished her lips as though he would never be touching them again. "Rosie baby, that hot kiss right there is going to bring your brawny beefcake some luck!" He flexed his muscles as if to accentuate the point. Rosalie sat back, stunned by the searing kiss, and took a huge swig of her martini. As strong willed as she was, Rosalie would easily fall prey to Emmett's charm.

As much as I wanted Edward to give me a sendoff like that, I realized that was never going to be happening. I was surprised at how sad I thought that was. I shook off the negative feeling quickly and glanced up at Edward. "Have fun," I told him, giving him a half smile. He winked at me in return. My heart soared, begging to be heard it was beating so rapidly… and he had only winked. Imagine if he touched me again…or, dear god kissed me on my check or something. I looked away from embarrassment. When I looked up, he was gone. My body immediately mourned his loss, leaving me with an empty feeling.

"So, what the hell was that all about?" Rosalie inquired, still smirking at me.

"What was what all about?" I feigned ignorance, drinking the beer Edward so sweetly gave me.

"Oh fair Bella, we now that look you gave my cousin," Alice chimed in.

"I don't have a 'look' Alice," I denied.

"Cut the shit, Bella," Rose got right to the point. "You know full well what you do when you're smitten with someone: the lip biting, the batting of the eyelashes, the peering up from said lashes, and the one that is a tell tale giveaway every time, that endearing blush that graces your cheeks and slowly spreads to your chest."

"Face it Bella. You are attracted to Edward. I don't blame you really. He is quite handsome and he does have a very nice physique, but he is my cousin, so that's as far as my complements will go." Alice deduced. "Edward's a good guy, Bella. The fact that he gave you a beer as his way of saying sorry is proof of that."

"Alice, please. Don't try to sell your cousin to me. I will admit that I find Edward extremely attractive, but that's as far as it goes. He's just some great eye candy." I took a long chug of my beer to shut myself up. Attractive didn't even cover it, but I wasn't about to spout my sexual desire for Edward and the magnetic pull I felt when we were in close contact with one another to these two.

"Who are you kidding girl? You totally want to take a ride on his disco stick!" Rosalie so eloquently stated. I choked on my beer, making me cough. Alice took that as an admission and started to clap wildly.

"Oh my god, Bella, this is going to be so great! You getting together with Edward will make our unit complete. We can do everything as couples now! Just think of all the possibilities. I'm so excited for you!" The girl has clearly lost her mind.

"What the hell are you talking about? We have hardly spoken to one another tonight and buying me a beer as a form of an apology doesn't necessarily constitute Edward wanting to get in my pants and date me." One could only wish…

"Oh he will. I just know it. Don't ask me how, but I can feel it. Plus, you two would be surprised just how much you both have in common."

"Yeah, Bella, this would be really good for you. I have never seen you so intrigued by someone. I didn't miss that you fumbled with your words when Edward first came over, either. You deserve to have someone in your life that sparks a fire within you," Rosalie countered. "Not to mention that you have already had words with one another and he's already made you pissed at him. How hot is that? I bet you wanted to explore all of Edward the moment you laid eyes on him," she quipped, laughing. Rose knew me so well; I couldn't help but laugh, too.

"Well, there's no use in lying to you two. So, yes, I did Rosalie. The moment I saw Edward, I felt something that I have never experienced before…not even with Jake." I waited for the pain to take hold of me from the mention of his name, but only felt a faint prick in my heart. Alice was vibrating with excitement and she couldn't stop smiling.

"I know what you girls are thinking, and all I can say is that I want to let it happen naturally please. I don't need you two meddling in my affairs like a couple of washer women. I mean it." I pointed at them, furrowing my brows. "If Edward and I get together, great. If not, then at least we will be friends, and that would be fine with me," I lied. "Besides, who knows if Edward is the one for me," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Bitch please!" Rosalie started. "Don't even say that. Edward is the one for you."

"I agree, and you will end up together," Alice said with finality.

"Oh really? And how do you lovely ladies know this? Did you two order Edward up for me making sure I would definitely go for him? You know, like Burger King, 'Have it Bella's way?'" I laughed at my own joke. It was sort of funny, the idea of ordering up your own _Edward_ that catered to your specific needs.

As if sensing my where my thoughts were alluding to, Alice chimed in with, "Hey, that's not such a bad idea. In fact, how fabulous would that be if a woman could take an order for their perfect man…no _Edward_…yes, I like that it would be Bella's personal _Edward_."

"So, Bella, let's have it. If you went to a drive-thru ordering up an _Edward_," Rosalie chuckled, "What would it be?"

"Oh, I love this! Can I be your server?" Alice begged.

"Um, okay, sure. Whatever Alice," I said taking a sip of beer thinking of the perfect_ Edward_.

Suddenly Alice straightened her posture, a huge smile taking over her face. "Hi, I'm Alice and welcome to Mc-Build-A-Man, home of the 'Golden Crotches.' Can I take your _Edward _order?" she started.

I couldn't help but play along. Plus, I was a little buzzed from the couple of beers I had.

"Um, yes. I would like a tall, very well- built _Edward_. Nine inch cock please, and hold the pubic hair- lightly trimmed is fine, too, if you can't accommodate. Um, I would also like some tattoos to go with this _Edward_, preferably on the torso, hip, or back. Oh, and can you add some deep dark past with that? Make it super angsty. You know what they say- the more angsty, the feistier they are!"

I laughed at my silliness, letting the beer take over my mind. Alice gaped at me, mouth hanging open. _Something I said?_

"Will that be all ma'am?" Alice got back into character.

"Oh God no! Could you please add a side order of multiple orgasm capabilities, including with tongue? My_ Edward_ needs to be a giver. I also need a small order of jealousy -it spices things up! And a large order of protective instincts because my _Edward_ needs to want to keep me safe from danger at all times. Oh! I need a super-size helping of potty mouth- please make sure you add the dirty talk. Last time you forgot the dirty talk and I was already home when I realized that. Needless to say, I was very upset and couldn't thoroughly enjoy my_ Edward_. And please make sure my _Edward_ can dress well, and don't forget the bronze sex hair."

"You said bronze sex hair?" Alice inquired as she pretended to punch keys on an imaginary register.

"Yes, please. It must be bronze and very haphazard looking. You know, like all over the place, but it looks like it was meant to be like that?" I was really getting into this.

"Is that it?"

"Um, yes. I think so," I said, nodding my head.

"Okay, that will be $19.01 and your order number is 69. Please step aside and wait for your _Edward_ to be ready. NEXT!" Alice shouted as she looked over at Rosalie, expecting her to start her pretend order. At this point, Alice and I were howling with laughter, as I was slapping my hands on the table to accentuate the hilarity of this whole conversation.

Rosalie merely sat there with a huge teeth-bearing grin staring up at something that was obviously catching her attention behind me. Alice followed Rosalie's eyes and howled even harder, which I didn't think was possible.

I turned around and came in contact with a familiar clothed crotch. I tilted my head up even further and found Edward standing there with an amused expression on his face. His smile was dazzling and he seemed as though he was trying to stifle a laugh that was threatening to escape his lips.

_OH. MY. GOD._ _Please tell me, lord that he just didn't hear that entire exchange._

"Golden Crotches, huh?" he chuckled. "I am curious at what that would look like." He was still staring at me.

_KILL. ME. NOW_. No, really. I stood up so quickly that I fumbled over my own two damn feet and hurled into Edward…again. _Jesus, this was becoming a pattern with me! _He grabbed hold of my waist to still my movements. My hands instinctively went to his chest. I didn't want him to ever let go of me. The heat emanating from his hands went straight to the happy place between my legs that was slowly becoming a dull ache, its hunger needing to be sated, preferably by the man currently latched to me. I was worried that Mean Edward was going to rear his ugly head, but he didn't. Instead, he looked at me with such intensity, it was as though he was trying to read my mind and find a way into my soul. My nipples hardened and I never had been so thankful for wearing ruffles in my life. I knew I was blushing yet again, as I was practically sweating with over active hormones. I had to get away. It was too much too quickly.

I pushed at Edward slightly and dropped my arms. He understood the gesture and backed away. I turned to a stunned looking Rosalie and Alice- _oh, now you two are at a loss for words! _I glared at them saying, "I'm going to get something to drink." I stalked off with not even a glance in Edward's direction.

I never walked so quickly in my life, I felt like I was gliding. I made my way to the bar and came across Ben, Angela's boyfriend. "Hey Ben! Is Angela here?" I reached over the bar, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah, she's over there. Hey baby!" he called her over. "What's your poison tonight?" he asked waiting for my decision.

Before I could even answer Ben, I felt Edward's presence even before he opened his mouth to answer for me. "I believe the lady is having a Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale. Tap, not bottle." He set his money on the bar. His voice was like liquid sex absorbing into every part of my body, leaving sparks of want and need at its wake. He turned to look at me. "Did I get it right?"

"Yes you did. Thanks." I didn't know what else to say. I was still so damn embarrassed that I felt the need to bolt again. Just then, Angela popped up next to me with a confused expression on her face. She probably wondered why I looked sort of cozy with the person I really wanted to murder earlier today.

"Hey Ange," I greeted air kissing my friend. "Edward, this is my friend, Angela. We work together. She was the other teacher at your fire house this morning. Angela, this is Edward."

"It's nice to meet you," Angela stated as if today never happened, offering her hand for Edward to shake. She was always so damn respectful and polite.

"Angela, I need to start off by apologizing for my behavior this morning. I was having a rough day and I shouldn't have taken it out on you or Bella for that matter," he declared not taking his eyes off of me. I couldn't move. I was transfixed. The energy pulsating between us created this bubble encompassing us, allowing no room for outsiders. The air hummed and swirled around our bubble, causing particles to dance and bounce into each other, creating sparks of light.

I peeked over at Angela, who was wearing a genuine smile. "It's no problem Edward. No worries. Well, I have to get back to Ben's sister. She's in town visiting. Nice to meet you Edward. I'll call you tomorrow, B." Even Angela winked at me.

_Great, why did I always have to be a god damned open book, with my thoughts and desires out there for everyone's perusal._

Edward handed me my beer. "I am truly sorry, Bella. I was a dick. I shouldn't have acted that way toward you. And I'm not only saying this for fear that Alice will pull my other ear." I couldn't help but giggle at that. Even he laughed.

"Well, you should be relieved that I am forgiving you because I was rather excited at the prospect of ripping you a new asshole tonight," I admitted.

"Is that so," Edward asked, arching an eyebrow, panty dropping smirk in full effect. This guy was the definition of pure sex. "I'm curious as to what you would have said. I have thick skin. Go ahead, have at it. Give it to me." I just about spit my beer in his face when he told me that. Did he realize that he just ask me to give it to him? My mind was completely in the gutter and I had no intention of vacating the premises. Understanding dawned on Edward's face, as he pinched the bridge of his nose and then ran one of his hands through his hair.

"Yeah, I realized how that may have sounded to you. Could you do me a favor and not tell Alice? My head is still pounding from the last whack to the head." He shook his head and took a swig of his beer. "I feel like I keep stepping in shit with you. I can't say the right things."

"Well, you are aware that it's considered good luck when one steps in shit? Plus, I am looking forward to you pissing me off again so I really can lay into you," I quipped feeling bold, a new flirtatious vigor pulsing through my veins.

"That's very true. Listen, in all honesty, I wanted to ask you something…" He paused running his hands through his hair yet again.

_Oh my god. This is it. He's going to ask me out on a date! Shit, I love it when my little pixie friend is right. Wait until I tell the girls…_

Edward's next words rang through my thoughts, interrupting the pep talk I was giving myself. "In light of what's happened today, I was wondering if-"

_Yes! I wanted to shout and interrupt him. I bit the side of my lower lip out of nervousness. Oh, I wonder how he kisses…_

"…we could be friends." he finished peering at me nervously.

My heart plummeted with mock speed right to my left foot.

_What? No! I mean yes, we can be friends, but…NO!_ I desperately tired to hide my disappointment, which only caused me to smile widely like I was advertising for a fucking toothpaste commercial. I must have looked crazed.

"I know I just moved here and I am the odd man out when it comes to the dynamic between you, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett, but I hope we could start off fresh and wipe our slate clean, so to speak." Apparently, Edward wasn't done talking.

"Sure Edward. That would be great," I fibbed, accepting defeat. It's not like I didn't want to be his friend, but it would have been nice if he was interested in me in a dating kind of way. I was mistaken. I guess I'm not his type. Thoughts of self-doubt began to try to ebb their way to the surface, but I swallowed the feeling down with beer. _Was I going crazy? Didn't he feel our connection? He certainly looked at me as though he felt it, too._ _It was probably all that "Golden Crotches" talk and the "Order an Edward" exchange that made him think I was some psycho._ Just thinking about Edward overhearing that conversation made want to vomit. I was so mortified.

"Consider the whole incident erased. So, aren't you supposed to be playing darts?" I asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Yeah, we still are. I lost the last round, so I have to buy the shots."

"Ah, that's Emmett for you. Let me guess, you have to buy a _Snakebite_, right?" I laughed knowing that has been Emmett's favorite shot since high school.

"If that's SoCo with lime juice, then you are correct, beautiful," he stated leaning to me ever so slightly.

_Beautiful? Does he think I'm beautiful? _Friends, he just wants to be friends. I chanted that in my head a few times.

"That would be the ingredients for a _Snakebite_. " Okay, I had to get out of there. "Well, I think I should get back to Rosalie and Alice. Thanks for the beers. Good luck on the next round of darts." I started to walk away, but Edward took hold of my elbow stopping me in my tracks.

"Hey, let me buy you a shot, too. We can toast to a new beginning." Did he have to always make everything sound so beautiful and right with that velvet voice of his? I wanted to wrap myself up in him.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. SoCo and I don't get along so well. We have a sordid past that I prefer to keep buried. Consuming even the slightest amount would be detrimental." I shook my head at the memories from high school that were begging to be released.

"Some other time then," Edward offered half-smiling, looking…disappointed…hurt? I was probably reading too much into things. _Friends, Bella. He wants to only be your friend_, I reminded myself.

With that, I walked away from Edward, feeling defeated. I couldn't believe that I was a fool to believe he wanted to ask me out. I desperately wanted to look back to see if he was watching my retreating form, but I forced myself not to. I didn't want to feel the added disappointment if he wasn't looking at me.

I couldn't get over how quickly the weeks passed. In the blink of an eye, it was October and we were nearing Halloween. Alice was so excited, as every year, Emmett's fire company hosts a big Halloween bash, their annual fundraiser, at the fire station. She always picked out our costumes with a certain theme in mind, being that she is the creative one. This year, Alice was thinking of the theme of "famous couples in history." And who did the devious pixie have in mind as my mate? None other than my new friend, Edward.

I hated the word- _friend_. It was evil. It was painful. I wanted it obliterated from the English language.

I had explained to Alice and Rosalie that night at the bar last month and how he asked for us to be friends. Rosalie was shocked because she could have sworn that even though he had heard the whole "Order An _Edward_" exchange (she admitted that she saw him creeping up behind me, listening), Edward was completely amused an didn't look at all offended. In fact, she said that when I had mentioned that my man needed to have bronze sex hair, he looked taken aback, stunned.

Alice was beside herself. I had to console her. She took it harder than I did.

"_I just don't understand, Bella," she had said, holding her head in her tiny hands. "I know that he's attracted to you. I saw the way he was looking at you like he wanted a piece of your soul or something. "_

"_I don't know what to tell you Alice. He just wants to be friends. It's okay, really." I rubbed her back soothingly. _

"_No, it certainly is not okay! He's being stupid because he's scared. He hasn't been in a real relationship since Tayna and that was over a year ago. Ugh! What the hell is his problem? I want to strangle him!"_

"_I think Edward is still hung up on his ex, Ali. Trust me, if you said he went through a very painful ordeal with Tayna, I know how he is feeling. It takes time to get over breaking up with someone you love. Look at what happened with Jake. You know, I should actually thank Edward for stirring up feelings within me I thought were since buried forever. I think I may be ready to venture out and possibly start dating someone." I countered, my epiphany coming into light._

"_Which is why you should be dating Edward. See? You guys are perfect for each other. He's holding back, I know he is! I wonder if it's because he is still e…" She abruptly stopped her line of talk._

"_Still what? What is Edward still doing?" Rosalie was getting impatient, annoyed at Edward._

"_Nothing. It's nothing," Alice quickly sputtered. She turned to me, "Bella, please listen to me when I say that you and Edward belong together. I can feel it. I saw the look in his eyes when he was near you. Any idiot could see the sparks that were zooming all around you tonight." I was glad that I wasn't going crazy and that someone saw what I felt._

My thoughts were disrupted by a knock at the door. I was a Saturday morning, and I was still in my pajamas. My hair was up in a messy ponytail, and I was wearing my brown tortoise shell glasses. It was probably Alice forgetting her keys again.

I opened the door and began speaking, "Ali, no I haven't seen your k-"I paused because it wasn't Alice at the door. It was Edward. He was leaning on the doorway, feet crossed, arms folded, and totally taking in my appearance. My face flushed, igniting the red that was probably painting my cheeks. I briefly looked down at what I was wearing- a light pink tank top and pink and white stripped boy-cut cotton shorts. I loved them because they sort of resembled of men's underwear. The feeling of my pebbled nipples rubbing against my cotton tank reminded me that I wasn't wearing a bra, which wasn't leaving much to the imagination.

I glanced at Edward, who was staring at my breasts. I loved that he was noticing me. I really wanted to know what he was thinking right at this moment. I cleared my throat to get his attention.

"Hey Edward. What's up?" I motioned for him to come in.

"I really like those glasses on you. How come you never wear them more often?" He brushed past me and my senses were accosted with the scent of Edward. He always smelled so delicious- a combination of his cologne, soap, and natural man. I wanted to bottle it and spray it all over myself, and my pillows, and sheets…

I noticed he was waiting for me to speak. "Oh, thanks. I actually wear these a lot, but only at work, and on the weekends when I am grading papers. So, what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" I sat back down on the couch.

"Well, Alice and I are supposed to have breakfast together. She called me last night and invited me." Edward moved to sit on the opposite side of the couch.

_That's funny. Alice was going to be taking inventory at her boutique today. She also kept making sure that I was going to be home. Damn her! She was still trying to set us up. _

"Gosh, I'm sorry Edward, but Alice had to rush to the boutique this morning. Something about an important order being shipped in," I covered up for the deceiving pixie.

"No problem. I'll call her later. I have to go into work soon anyway. So, what's all this?" He pointed to the scattered mess of papers that were on the coffee table.

"My work," I laughed. "The students had a spelling test and a math test yesterday. I am correcting them so they can get their grades on Monday. I don't like for them to wait so long. This is my usual Saturday morning routine." I grabbed a stack of papers to start grading.

"I better let you get back to your work then. Sorry to have bothered you," he stood up to leave.

"You never bother me, Edward. It's actually kind of nice to have some company. Alice has been working long hours lately and our paths haven't been crossing much, and Rosalie lives across town now. So, this is …nice." I smiled warmly.

"Oh, well, since you put it that way. I don't like the thought of you being alone so much." He sat back down. "How about I stay and help you grade papers, with your permission of course, and then I take you out for breakfast before I start my shift at the fire house," Edward so sweetly suggested. I would do anything for this man.

"Sure, that sounds great. How about you tackle the spelling tests," I started. "Here, take my pen and mark an "x" over the word that is spelled incorrectly. Then put the number of words spelled correctly over the total number of words they needed to spell. You know, like a fraction? Like this." I showed him an example of what I was talking about.

"Sounds easy enough," Edward nodded and took the stack of papers from me.

Minutes later, we were left with a comfortable silence, the only noise coming from our quiet breathing and the strokes of our pens moving across our papers.

At some point, Edward broke the silence and decided to ask me a question, "Bella? Can I ask you something personal?"

"Of course. You can ask me anything." I meant it. I wanted to be close to Edward and if being friends was the only way, then I would take it.

He turned to face me, setting the papers in between us. "Why don't you have a boyfriend? I don't mean to sound rude. It's just that I'm shocked that someone hasn't snatched you up by now."

I moved my glasses to the top of my head and rubbed my eyes. What was I going to tell him? I really didn't want to divulge the whole Jake issue, and I had asked Alice that she not tell him, too. If I wanted Edward to know everything, it was my story to tell.

I blew out a gust of air and sighed. "Well, I had a boyfriend. His name was Jake. We got together during our senior year of high school and dated up until roughly six months ago now." I was fidgeting, twisting my fingers in knots. Edward noticed my apprehension and covered my hand with his, causing him to move closer to me.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm sorry for asking." He looked truly apologetic and I couldn't help but want to talk to him and let it out.

"No, I'm alright. I want to tell you, honestly. It's just that it still feels so fresh, you know?"

"Yeah, I actually do. I'm still on the mend from Tayna and thinking of not being with her saddens me at times," he offered. He waited for me to speak.

"We were engaged to be married and I thought things were going great. He was working at a big firm in here in the city and he moved up the ladder quickly. His job required that he travel to the east coast at least once a month. That's where he met his other girlfriend." I looked up at Edward through my lashes, afraid at what he would think of me.

I continued. "So, long story short- Jake met someone else on his first trip, fell in love with her, continued to date her, and got her pregnant." The pain was threatening to sear though me, my heart clenching with grief. It was too much to be taking about this, especially with Edward. I felt the tears in my eyes, hot and beginning to blur my vision.

"He confessed everything to me the night before my wedding shower last May. He broke off our engagement and told me he was going to marry Leah and be a real father to his baby. Leah- that's her name. I don't even know what she looks like. They plan on living at his place here in Seattle."

I looked up to face Edward, surrendering to the tears that began to fall gracefully down my face.

Edward's hands were still enveloping mine. He squeezed them gently. "Bella, he's an idiot. Do you hear me? He doesn't even deserve you if he couldn't realize what an amazing person you are."

"You don't have to say that because I am crying," I sniffled. I looked down to our joined hands, enjoying the warm feeling Edward was giving me, comforting me like a soft blanket.

He let go of my hands and reached up, placing his hands on both sides of my face, the pads of his thumbs brushing my tears away. "I'm not just saying that because you're crying. You're a beautiful creature Bella, you have to know that. You are feisty, intelligent, and you have a good heart. Jasper and Emmet have nothing but the highest regards for you. They would do anything to protect you, and I'd like to say that you can add me to that mix, as well. Believe me when I say that any guy would cut off a limb to even have the chance to be with you. I see the way other guys notice you when we go out."

I was too sad to revel in the fact that Edward just called me beautiful and basically said that he watches me when we go out. I wanted to do some sort of victory dance, but I couldn't.

I placed one of my hands over his that were still attached to the side of my face. "Thank you Edward. That's sweet of you." _If only you wanted to be that guy who would do anything to be with me._ That thought made me wilt with sadness.

We sat there for what seemed like forever, getting lost in each other's eyes. I was so fascinated by the way Edward's stare could easily enslave me. He kept on wiping away my tears, smiling warmly at me.

I moved to take my glasses off my head when a few strands of hair fell. Edward quickly tucked those strands behind my ear, an intimate gesture. He dropped his hands and brushed them through his hair. He looked at me, seeming as though he was searching for something to say. He began to lean in towards me. I sat there, frozen. The sound of my stomach grumbling stopped Edward's movements, making him laugh a little. _Stupid stomach!_ I think Edward was going to kiss me…maybe…I don't know. I was so confused.

"How about we go grab that bite to eat?" He looked down at his watch. I have to be at work soon, anyway." He sat up, sliding away from me.

"That sounds wonderful. Let me get changed quickly. I'll be right back." I got up slowly and padded along the floor to my room. When I reached the hall that led to the bedrooms, I turned and called to Edward.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" He stood immediately, thinking I needed him for something. _If he only knew…_

"Thanks. For everything." I stated giving him a smile.

"Anytime, beautiful. Anytime."

As I was getting dressed I noticed that he called me beautiful. He was calling me that a lot these days. I know my name actually means beautiful, but I couldn't help but wish that there was meaning behind it. I wanted Edward to want me, but we were friends. Yes, we were getting closer, but he seemed to want to keep things the way they were.

I thought he was leaning in to kiss me on the couch before. I wanted to know what it would be like to kiss this man, and I was unsure as to how to go about making that happen. For now, I would be patient and continue to solve the enigma that is Edward Cullen.

* * *

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_**Clipped Wings and Inked Armor**_** by Hunterhunting**

_**Emancipation Proclamation**_** by Kharizzmatik**

***BPOV***


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Hi everyone. Thanks for checking back in with us. Sorry that updates aren't quite as frequent as they were when we first started. Now that the chapters are a little more involved and are running a little longer it is harder to post every couple of days. We are aiming to post at least once a week, so we hope you can hang in there with us. **

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**Lastly we would like to thank our ever wonderful beta, SweetDulcinea, who gives us her no holds barred, and honest critiques to help us make sure this story stays on track and doesn't suck. Thanks darling!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight, because if we did we would be sitting on a private yacht somewhere sipping champagne while Robbie Pattinson was feeding us grapes and strawberries and shit like that and not at work secretly writing fan fic. LOL!**

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**Chapter 7**

***EPOV***

After my little impromptu love session with myself I knew there was no way I would be able to take a nap so I decided to just get showered and ready to go out.

I took a shower and got dressed opting to wear jeans and a black button down shirt. I was going to wear black boots but decided to go a little more casual and threw on my black converse sneakers.

I walked over to the full length mirror Alice insisted I hang on the back of my closet door to check myself quick before I headed out into the living room to join Jasper. I ran my fingers through my unruly hair and took a deep breath. I was excited about going out with the group tonight but also a little apprehensive after the day I had and the exchange with Bella. I knew that Alice was not going to be pleased with the way things went down, and I was also starting to feel really guilty about my behavior.

Just because I had issues and was emotionally stunted didn't mean I needed to take that out on the first attractive woman I came into contact with.

This was not Bella's fault and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did to her. I needed to somehow make amends with her tonight. To show her that I wasn't a complete douchbag and that I could handle making friends here in Seattle. I mean, there was no way I was going to be able to avoid her being that she was roommates with Alice and lived in my building, so I might as well bite the bullet and man up to my mistakes.

After staring in the mirror for a couple of minutes trying to tame the wild beast that is my hair, I gave up and turned to leave my room.

When I walked into the living room I noticed that Emmett had gotten home and was sitting in the easy chair, and Jasper was still sitting on the couch. Both were watching TV and looked up to smile as I walked into the room.

I walked past them into the kitchen yelling over my shoulder to ask if either of them wanted a beer. "Hell yeah!" I heard them both shout back.

I grabbed three beers out of the fridge and walked back into the living room, tossing one to each of them.

"So Emmett," I said a little nervous, "about today, with showing Bella's class around the firehouse, I think I might have pissed her off."

Emmett looked up at me, cocked an eyebrow, and gave me a little smirk. "Oh yeah, why do you say that?"

"Well she asked me if I would show the class around and although I was supposed to watch the phones I probably could have done it but…I don't know…I just didn't. I was also kind of rude to her and now I'm feeling a little bad about it. Any ideas how I can make it up to her?"

Jasper, looking at me too, spoke up. "Why would you have been rude to Bella?"

Not really sure how to answer this without sounding like a pervert who nearly busted a nut when she bumped into me and sort of lingered up against me longer then I could clearly handle. I did the next best thing and made shit up, only telling a half truth.

"Well…I don't know. I was sort of caught off guard. No one told me that two class loads full of kids were showing up, I was alone in the house, kind of annoyed to begin with that I had been left behind stuck on phone patrol…and I guess I just took that out on Bella."

Emmett slapped his hand against his forehead. "Oh man that is totally my fault, we were in such a hurry to get out on the call that I forgot to tell you about Bella and Angela bringing the kids there. Plus it was my responsibility. I set that tour up for the kids every year so it really wasn't your responsibility to do it in my absence. I will make sure I talk to Bella tonight and smooth the situation over."

Feeling a little of the weight lifted off my shoulders, I nodded at him but continued. "Yeah I appreciate that man, but regardless I still didn't have to be such a prick and I feel bad."

Jasper, still following the conversation said to me, "I've known Bella for a long time, she's a tough cookie, and she can get through just about anything. If you just apologize, maybe buy her a drink, I'm sure all will be forgiven and forgotten. No big deal."

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We got to the bar around 10:00PM and made our way in through the crowd. We found a small table to the side near the bar that was occupied by one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. _Damn…they must have something in the water in this city. Every woman I have come into contact with is gorgeous. _

Emmett threw himself down into the seat next to the blonde and gave her a huge kiss. He then looked up to me and said, "Edward I would like you to meet my girlfriend Rosalie."

_Rosalie, Rosalie, Rosalie? I knew that name. Oh crap that was Alice's other roommate from college!_ I suddenly started to internally kick myself in the balls for never coming out to Seattle and visiting Alice when she was in college. So far I have met Bella and Rosalie and don't know what I was thinking not crashing at Alice's college pad for a weekend while I was still a young, horny teenager.

Rosalie offered her hand towards me, and I took it and shook it.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Edward. I have heard so many things about you over the years from Alice. It's odd that we haven't met sooner, but I guess it's better that it's now versus never."

"I was actually just thinking the same thing. I can't believe that all these years have passed since you and Alice have lived together and went to school together, yet I am just meeting you now. But it's nice to finally meet."

I looked around. "Speaking of Alice, is she hear yet?" I asked Rosalie.

"Not yet. Alice called me a few minutes ago and told me that she and Bella were on their way. They should be here momentarily."

Jasper then stood and looked between Emmett and I and said, "Well guys wanna join me up at the bar to get drinks for the girls so they will be waiting for them when they get here?"

Emmett gave Rose a quick peck on the lips and stood. "Sure thing Jasper…lead the way."

I followed behind the two of them up to the bar. Jasper ordered drinks for Alice and himself. Then Emmett ordered drinks for him, Rosalie, and was about to order for Bella when I stopped him. "Please…let me get the drink for Bella. It's the least I can do to make up for being an ass to her."

He looked at me and smirked, then shrugged his shoulders. " Suit yourself. She likes the pumpkin ale." He threw his money down on the counter, grabbed his drinks and followed Jasper back to the table.

I ordered two pints. One for me and one for Bella. I paid and then made my way back over to the table. It was crowded in front of our table and I couldn't really see anyone except for Emmett, but I did catch a glimpse of someone with brown wavy hair sitting with her back to me at the same table as Emmett. As soon as the crowd cleared, the person owning those brown waves turned in my direction and made eye contact.

There is was again. That electricity I felt when I touched her today. Only now I could feel it just within proximity. I nearly dropped the two glasses I was holding. _Pull it together asshole. This day has been awkward enough._

I had to admit she looked beautiful. She was wearing jeans and a silky top that although it had a hint of sex appeal, was also classy. Her hair was down and just flowed down her back and over her shoulders. She really was a classic beauty. The kind of woman that didn't need to try hard or dress trashy to grab attention from any hot blooded guy. Me obviously being one of them.

I took a deep breath and decided I could do this. I could act like a normal mother fucking person and just be her friend.

I stopped in front of her and held out the beer hoping she would realize this was my peace offering without making me have to drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness. She didn't take it at first. She was just sort of staring straight ahead at…_she is eye level with my crotch_…nah she must be looking past me at something else.

But then just like expected, the little Pixie flew out of right field and smacked me in the head. If I didn't think that I deserved that one I would have been half tempted to throw that little witch over my shoulder and bring her back into the alley to deposit her in a dumpster for the evening. But I knew that I deserved that shit…hell I even mentally prepared myself for it all day.

She yelled at me, telling me that I owed Bella an apology. Everyone was staring at me now, and I felt like a complete asshole.

I set the beers down on the table offering Bella the drink. "I'm sorry Bella," I stated.

"Uh, it's fine…no problem" she stuttered. I had to kind of smirk because I found it cute how she seemed to get nervous when talking to me. _Huh, I wonder why?_

We stood there looking at each other. I don't think either one of us realized that we were gazing at each other for a little bit too long until someone at our table made a little coughing sound, and we both snapped out of it and noticed that everyone was gawking at us. My cousin even seemed to be giving me some cocky little grin like she knew something that I didn't. Like I said before…she is an evil witch.

Emmett just laughed and then Jasper, trying to ease the discomfort that he could clearly sense I was feeling, suggested that the guys go play some darts. I agreed probably too eagerly, desperate to be out of this awkward situation that was playing out in front of everyone.

I followed Jasper across the bar to the darts, with Emmett close behind.

Emmett came up behind me and slapped his arm across my back, hanging it over my shoulder. "I guess you and Bella kissed and made up," he snorted. "Well maybe just made up, but I have a feeling a kiss could have been following suit." He busted out in laughter.

Jasper reached out and punched him in the shoulder.

"Shit, ouch! Why'd you go and do that Jasper?" Emmett said as he took his hand off my shoulder and rubbed his other arm where Jasper had just punched him.

"Lay off him man," Jasper said.

I looked over at the both of them, feeling a big aggrevated by whatever they were inplying. _"What?"_

With that, they both doubled over laughing. Okay, I was clearly missing the joke.

Jasper stepped closer to me so I could hear him without having to yell over the crowd. "I think what Emmett was trying to say rather ineloquently, was that it didn't go unnoticed to the rest of us the way you two were staring at each other. I mean completely and utterly zoned into each other and out of everyone else. Is this the kind of communication the two of you were having before you flipped out on her at the firehouse?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I already told the both of you…I was having a shitty morning when she showed up with like forty little kids, and I took my bad mood out on her. We weren't zoned into each other just now. I was just giving her a peace offering so that I wouldn't have Alice on my case. I know she is friends with all of you and I will see her around a lot, but that is it."

Emmett turned around laughing to throw his first dart. "Okay, whatever you say man," he muttered. Maybe I don't know you that well, but I've known Bells for a long time now and I haven't seen her get flustered or stutter like that around a guy, well since she first met Jac…"

But before he could finish, Jasper cut in interrupting him. "What Emmett means is that we are glad that the two of you straightened out whatever misunderstanding you had from earlier today and now we can all go forward. We have a really tight knit group here, and it would suck if one stupid misunderstanding prevented all of us from being able to hang out together."

Jasper then shot Emmett a look that I didn't quite understand, but Emmett just nodded and turned back towards the dart game without saying another word.

After that the subject was dropped, thank God, and we went back to playing. Those two must be pro dart players because I quickly lost and decided to make my way back over towards the table to sit and chat with Alice.

As I walked toward the girl, I could see Alice and Rosalie who were facing my direction, Bella's back to me.

Rosalie look up at me but quickly looked away and back towards Bella. She seemed to all of a sudden start stifling a laugh about something. Alice was saying something to Bella and I was curious to see what they were talking about. Standing behind them, I caught wind of the conversation.

"Hi, I'm Alice and welcome to Mc-Build-A-Man, home of the 'Golden Crotches.' Can I take your _Edward _order?" she started.

_What…your Edward order? _What was this about? Rosalie clearly knew I was behind Bella listening and didn't make any move to clue Alice or Bella into that fact, soI stood there quietly seeing where the heck this conversation was going.

Bella laughed and then said, "Um, yes. I would like a tall, very well- built _Edward_. Nine inch cock please, and hold the pubic hair- lightly trimmed is fine, too, if you can't accommodate. Um, I would also like some tattoos to go with this _Edward_, preferably on the torso, hip, or back. Oh, and can you add some deep dark past with that? Make it super angsty. You know what they say- the more angsty, the feistier they are!"

I was frozen dead in my tracks. Was I hearing right? Was she talking about my cock? Even through the shock of what I just heard I had to let a little arrogance slip in when I thought how she had no idea that her size requirement wouldn't be a hard order to fill for this particular "Build an Edward," but I digress. Alice then continued speaking.

"Will that be all ma'am?"

"Oh God no!" Bella said. Could you please add a side order of multiple orgasm capabilities, including with tongue? My_ Edward_ needs to be a giver. I also need a small order of jealousy -it spices things up! And a large order of protective instincts because my _Edward_ needs to want to keep me safe from danger at all times. Oh! I need a super-size helping of potty mouth- please make sure you add the dirty talk. Last time you forgot the dirty talk and I was already home when I realized that. Needless to say, I was very upset and couldn't thoroughly enjoy my_ Edward_. And please make sure my _Edward_ can dress well, and don't forget the bronze sex hair."

My mouth nearly hit the floor. At this point Rosalie looked like she was going to piss her pants being that she was the only one who noticed me standing right behind them listening in on all of this.

If I hadn't been standing there and heard all this myself I don't think I would have believed it. I was dying to burst out laughing too but held quiet so I could see where this led. Bella continued a few more details to her "order" and then finally Alice gave her the whopping total sales price of $19.01.

_WTF…was that all I was worth?_ Puh-lease!!!

When Alice spat out that the order number was 69 I lost it. I couldn't hold back the laugh that came out of my mouth. Then Rosalie looked up at me and Alice finally looked and saw I was there, and she started laughing so hard I thought her drink was going to shoot out of her nose.

I noticed Bella freeze and then slowly turn around to face me. When she finally met my eyes, I could tell she was mortified. I gave her an amused grin, but I knew the poor thing must be humiliated.

"Golden Crotches, huh?" I chuckled. "I am curious as to what that would look like."

Then almost instantly Bella flung herself out of her seat and crashed into me in her attempt to flee. I caught hold of her and steadied her. She stilled for a minute before pushing away and telling us that she was going to get a drink.

As amused as I was at this whole little scenario and actually flattered as well as a little turned on at all those things that Bella had just said, I knew she must feel so embarrassed. I didn't want her to feel that way. I could take a joke and I needed her to know that she didn't need to hide away from me.

I glanced down at the evil stepsisters who had just managed to embarrass their friend. I spat "please allow me to go and find her and dig her head out of the sand." As I retreated towards the bar I heard them both barrel out in laughter.

As I finally made my way through the crowd, I found Bella standing at the bar talking to some guy. I have to admit I felt a little jealous that she was standing there talking to some other dude. I heard him ask what she wanted to drink but before she could answer I slipped in behind her. "I believe the lady is having Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale. Tap, not bottle." I slid the money to the bartender.

Bella looked at me and the blush on her cheeks spread like wildfires. She really looked cute when she blushed.

She introduced me to the guy she was with who was thankfully…_hmmm, why thankfully?_…the boyfriend of her friend and co-worker who I had met that morning at the firehouse, Angela.

I apologized to Angela for my behavior that morning and she forgave me. She seemed like a genuinely nice girl, and that made me feel even more like a dick for being so shitty that morning.

After her friends left, I apologized to Bella again. I really did want her to know that I was sorry and to not be embarrassed about what I had just overheard. I had actually found it to be kind of sexy.

Then right before Bella and I were going to walk back to join the others, I asked her that in light of what happened today, I was wondering if-

She seemed to tense up, almost anticipating something.

And I finished "if we could be friends."

I know I was mistaking my observation, but it almost seemed like she was disappointed. Maybe she didn't want to be friends with me. Maybe she had been hoping that I would just apologize and tell her we could go our separate ways. I mean, true, she had just listed off a bunch of sexual things using my name at the table, but I'm sure Alice had something to do with that, so I didn't honestly think those things came from any thoughts or feelings she had about me personally.

"Sure Edward. That would be great," she said. I decided to just leave it at that. This was only the second time I had ever talked to this woman and felt that I didn't need to figure out all the logistics of our friendship in one night. She was Alice's best friend and roommate and I figured we would have plenty of time to get to know each other and start off again on the right foot as acquaintances.

I then remembered that I owed Emmett a shot for losing to him at darts and offered to get Bella one too.

"Let me guess, you have to buy a Snakebite, right?" she said.

"If that's SoCo with lime juice, then you are correct, beautiful," I said.

Shit…had I just called her beautiful out loud? I sometimes had no mental filter.

When I looked up I noticed she was blushing. _Again with that blushing…it is driving me crazy. _I felt my cock twitch at the sight. _That blush was going to be the death of me._

She then mumbled something and excused herself to join Alice and Rosalie again.

I shook my head, grabbed the shots and made my way back over to Emmett and Jasper. They were in a heated discussion close to the dart board trying to decipher whose dart was closer to the bulls eye. When they saw me approach they each grabbed their shot, and we toasted and tossed them back. Their backs were immediately to me again as they continued their argument.

I leaned back against the wall, ran my fingers through my hair and started to look around the bar. I felt my gaze being pulled to my right when I finally landed on Bella's eyes and we locked gazes with each other. We stared at each other until I saw Alice's hand slap the table laughing at something that Rosalie had said, and it broke Bella's concentration and she quickly looked away from me shyly.

I stared for another moment longer until I turned my face forward and looked off into space. This sure had been a strange day. I had never had so many different feelings for one person in less then a twenty-four hour period as I had for Isabella Swan. It went from electric, to aggravation and frustration, to being turned on by, to being jealous over, to wanting to be friends with, and now ultimately…I don't know what I was feeling.

I looked back over toward the table again and caught Bella staring at me once more. This time she quickly looked away, but I caught that blush creep across her face again.

God that blush…no, I finally realized, that woman…_that woman_ was going to be the death of me.

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I woke up the next morning from the sound of my annoying alarm clock. I rolled over and slammed it a little harder then necessary. I had to be at work in an hour and a half, and although I wasn't feeling hung over, I was tired from being out kind of late with everyone.

Last night had gone a lot better then I could've hoped. I knew I needed to talk to Bella and I did. We established that we were going to start out fresh and be friends. I was beginning to realize more and more that I was attracted to Bella. I wasn't that dumb that I couldn't recognize those feelings, but I also knew that I was nowhere near ready to start dating yet.

I'm a man and I have needs. I wouldn't mind the company of a woman on occasion, but a casual rendezvous is different then going out on dates with someone who is your friend, someone where the stakes are set higher from the get go. So Bella was definitely off limits.

She definitely seemed to be attracted to me as well, and I couldn't hurt her by starting something that I am not prepared to finish. It's only been a year since Tanya and a serious relationship is not in my near future at all.

_Ahhh Tanya._ Just the thought of her makes my heart ache. I miss her so much. It's been a couple weeks since I have written to her. When I moved to Seattle I decided that I was going to really try to stop writing her. I knew it was impossible for me to stop altogether, but I realized it was not healthy to do it every single day like I was in Chicago.

But with everything that went down yesterday, and all these crazy feelings that I have going on inside of me right now, I really just needed to talk to her.

So I rolled out of bed, stood up and stretched. I looked out the window and noticed that it was actually sunny today. No overcast. I have to admit the weather is the one thing I really can't stand about Seattle. It's always overcast or rainy. A day like this is more then welcome as far as I am concerned.

I walked out into the living room and grabbed my laptop from where I left it on the coffee table. I walked into the kitchen and placed it on the table. I poured myself a cup of coffee from a pot that I am assuming Jasper made since he is the earliest riser and then sat down at the table and turned my computer on.

After it loaded, I opened my email. I had several emails to go through from some of my friends back home in Chicago and my mother Esme who I am sure is going to kill me because I haven't called her in over a week. After going through all those I hit compose and started writing.

_From:EC1901_

_To:TDluvsEC_

_Subject: Life in Seattle_

_Dear Tanya,_

_Hey there love. Sorry it's been a while since I have written. I needed to give myself some time to settle into my new surroundings. Things in Seattle are going well. I have a really nice apartment in the same building as Alice, and I have two roommates who I get along with great. Work has been going good as well. I am slipping right into the flow of things there and all the guys I work with have been really awesome in showing me the ropes. I am so grateful to have Alice here because she has taken me under her wing. She is so determined to get me through all of this. I have fought it for so long but I know deep down inside it is what you want for me too, so if I can't do it for myself I have to do it for you. _

_All of Alice's friends have been great. They all have welcomed me into their world with open arms. It sure beats moving somewhere and not knowing a soul. I have finally gotten to meet all the people who have been so important to Alice for all these years since she left Chicago to go away to college. I have even gotten to meet her two best friends who she lived with in college, Rosalie and Bella. Bella and Alice are actually still roommates. She seems like a really nice girl. She reminds me of you in a lot of ways, but at the same time she is also very different. I don't know…I just keep thinking that you would really like her._

_Well, I have to go and get ready for work now baby. I promise to try and not make it another two weeks before I write, but you know that it's not because I don't love you and miss you horribly. It's because I'm trying and I know it's what you are think I should do. I love you always._

_Love,_

_Edward_

After I hit send, I closed my laptop and just sort of stared into space. I heard a bedroom door open and that snapped me back into reality. Emmett came walking into the kitchen wearing pajama bottoms.

"Good morning there Eddie," he said as he put his huge hand on top of my head, mussed up my hair, and laughed.

"Hey man, watch the locks," I said, as he continued laughing.

"We're on the same shift today," Emmett said.

"I know, I was just going to go and jump in the shower so that you would have time to shower too before we leave."

"Great. So Edward, now that it's just you and I, do you mind if I ask you again about Bells?"

"Bells?" I asked.

"Bella."

"Oh…right…oookay, what about her?"

"Well, it seems like you are both attracted to each other, and trust me I have known her for a long time and she is a great girl, so I was just wondering if you thought about maybe asking her out sometime. We do have the Halloween party coming up in a few weeks and the rest of us are going as dates, so maybe you could ask Bella to go with you."

I paused for a moment, not really knowing how to answer this without having to delve into my past that I wasn't really comfortable discussing. I finally took a deep breath and spoke, "look Emmett, I think Bella is a great girl. She is definitely beautiful, but I moved here to try and start my life over. My last year in Chicago was a rough one. I was in a long term relationship that ended and I am just not over it yet. I don't think right now is the right time for me to get into a relationship. I'm not opposed to getting a little ass here and there but Bella is not the type of girl for that, and besides, Alice would fuck me up, so Bella and I are just friends."

Emmett nodded his head as he was understanding what I was saying. "First of all, Alice wouldn't be the only one to fuck you up if you ever used Bella as a piece of ass, but I can understand a brother has needs, and as long as you get it elsewhere I appreciate that. I am also happy to know that you wouldn't take advantage of her like that if you weren't ready for something solid."

He paused again, seeming like there was something he wanted to say but wasn't sure how to say it.

"Edward the thing is, last night when I told you that I hadn't seen Bella light up or get so nervous around a guy in a long time, I meant it. I see something in her eyes when she looks at you. But Bella has also been through a rough past. It's not my story to tell, and maybe someday she will tell you about it herself, but her last boyfriend really hurt her a lot. He broke her heart into a million pieces. I just want to make sure that you are careful with her. I don't want to see the first fleeting glint of attraction in her eyes for another man to cause her any more heartache down the road."

I looked at Emmett and nodded in understanding. "I will never do anything like that to Bella. You have my word on that Emmett."

"Good man because I would hate to have to fuck a brother up." I saw his shoulders shake from laughter and I just rolled my eyes.

"Thanks Emmett…for not wanting to fuck me up. I'm going to take a shower, nimrod."

I walked across the apartment and into the bathroom where I started getting ready for work.

***************************************************************************

Emmett and I arrived at work on time. The guys had the trucks outside in front of the house and they were washing them down. It's customary to do this every once in a while to keep them clean, but I'm sure that the nice sunny weather was also a big draw to wanting to be outside.

We were just about finished and were putting the supplies away when the alarm blared. Instinctively, we all sprang i nto action. All our uniforms were hanging in a row on hooks against the wall to the side of where the truck is normally parked. I ran to my stuff and kicked off my work boots. I immediately grabbed my suspender pants and stuffed my legs into them and slipped the suspenders over my shoulders, then I grabbed my jacket and threw my arms into the sleeves. I shoved my feet into my fire boots and threw my helmet on my head.

I raced over to the truck and jumped on just as the rest of the guys were getting there and we took off. We were briefed that we were going to a fire a few blocks down that had started in the diner restaurant on the bottom level. Emmett also told us that the building held apartments above the restaurant and it was believed that there were people stuck in their apartments.

In less then two minutes we were pulling up in front with sirens blazing. There was a crowd of people standing out in front of the diner and there was smoke pouring out through the front door. I looked up immediately and saw a few people hanging out their windows in the apartments above. One window that caught my eye immediately was where a lady and a young boy were standing waving a cloth to let us know where they were.

Emmett jumped off the truck immediately moving the crowds back and away from the building. Another guy I work with, Mike Newton, went over to talk to who I would assume was the owner of the diner. As the rest of us were setting up the hoses, Mike and Emmett came back over to fill the rest of us in on what they knew.

Apparently the fire started in the kitchen. It was a grease fire, so it spread pretty quickly. From what the owner could tell it hadn't spread to the apartments upstairs, but because of all the smoke, the tenants couldn't make their way down the stairs.

Emmett split us into two groups. Half were sent into the restaurant to deal with the fire itself, the rest of us were on rescue duty to get the people out of the apartments. Fighting fires had always been my passion, but now more than ever, rescue efforts were a front and foremost issue for me. I would do anything I could to make sure each and every person got out safely. Buildings could be rebuilt and replaced, people could not.

The guy who drives our fire truck repositioned it so we could get the cherry picker as close to the buildings as possible. Thankfully, we were told the building only had three apartments. One apartment was not being rented, the second had a man and woman living in it. The man was hanging from the window, but there was no sign of the woman. The third is where I saw the lady and the small boy.

Once the truck was in place, another firefighter named Eric Yorkie and I jumped into the cherry picker, ascending toward the first apartment.

"Sir," I shouted, "Is there anyone else in the apartment with you?"

"No, my wife is at work, it's just me," the man yelled back.

We moved as close to the window as we could, and I threw a safety harness to the man and told him to slip his legs through it. We were close enough where we could have just had him climb in without the harness, but you always have to take precautions.

He did as I said and then we helped him in and lowered down to street level where paramedics were already waiting to check for any smoke inhalation as a precaution.

As soon as the man was in the hands of the paramedics we started lifting up again towards the top floor where the woman and the boy were.

When we got close enough, I yelled to her too asking if there was anyone else in the apartment besides her and the boy. She said no, that it was just her and her son, and I handed her two harnesses and instructed her as to how to securely put them on. When she went to hand me her son, he started screaming and flailing…just an example as to why harnesses are important no matter how close you are to the building. I held on to him securely and handed him to Eric while I assisted the woman into the bucket.

Her son was really screaming by this point and I asked the lady if he had been injured.

"No," she said, looking really sad. "Our dog is in there. I tried to grab him, but he got frightened from the smoke and the sirens and ran and hid. I tried to look for him but I couldn't find him, and the smoke was starting to get darker so I had to come and stand by the window."

By now I looked down at the boy who was now sitting on the floor of the bucket and he had tears streaming down his face. He looked like his whole world had just been ripped out from under his feet. I knew that look. I wore that look.

I turned to Eric and told him I was going in. "Take them down to the paramedics and then come back up and get me." I knew Eric was going to argue, but when he saw the look of determination on my face and the sad look on the face of the little boy, he nodded.

I quickly jumped out of the bucket and into the window of the apartment. The smoke was getting thick now. Not so bad that I couldn't see the ground but very close to getting there. I had my oxygen mask on. I was in the kitchen and took a look around to see if I could spot the dog. I then moved into the living room. I looked in corners, under the couch and the coffee table…nothing. I moved on to the master bedroom where the smoke seemed to be the thickest. I knew at this point that even if I did find the dog there was a possibility that it had inhaled too much smoke. After searching that bedroom and finding nothing I started giving up hope.

I finally made my way down a little hallway and into a room that I could only assume was the little boy's. I looked under the bed, under his little desk but found nothing. I was about to give up hope when I noticed the closet door was slightly ajar. I cracked the door open and in the corner I saw a little tan Cocker Spaniel who couldn't be more then a few months old. He was shaking and curled in a ball in the corner. I grabbed the dog in my arms and ran out of the room and back towards the kitchen. When I got to the kitchen where the smoke was a little less thick, I took my oxygen mask off and held my breath. I put the mask over the dog's snout so he could breathe clear air.

A few seconds later I saw Eric's head in the window, and I leaned out and handed him the puppy. I jumped onto the window ledge and climbed into the bucket. Eric handed the dog back to me when I got in and said, "I think you should be the one to return him to his owner."

We got down to the street and I was still holding my oxygen mask over the dog's mouth. I walked over to the back of the ambulance that was treating the mother and her son. As soon as the mom saw me with the dog she burst out into tears and threw her arms around me.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! Bless your heart to do something like that for complete strangers."

"Just doing my job ma'am," I said, and I handed her the dog. "I would suggest bringing him to a vet as soon as possible so he can get checked out."

"Absolutely, I will," she said.

Just as I was about to walk away I felt something latch on to my leg. I looked down and the little boy was holding on to my leg with all the might he could muster. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "Thank you Mister Fireman, you saved my best friend."

I took my glove off and rubbed the top of his head. "No problem little man, that's what I'm here for." He smiled and then his mom came back over to get him so the paramedics could continue checking him over.

Once the fire in the diner was put out and all the equipment was packed up, we all jumped back on the truck to head back to the house. As we were pulling away I caught sight of the little boy and he waved. I waved back and his words rang in my ears again…_you saved my best friend._

_I know I'm only human and I can't save everyone little man, but today, today I am happy I was able to save YOUR best friend._

*************************************************************************

A few weeks had passed and we were now well into October. I was becoming more adjusted and comfortable in Seattle. Work was going great; I really liked the guys I worked with and I was becoming fast friends with pretty much all of them. There was one guy who irked me a little bit. Mike Newton. I don't know why. I couldn't really put a finger on it, but I guess you aren't going to love everyone. As long as he stayed out of my way we'd be fine.

I was also becoming closer with Alice's friends. Bella and I had managed to form a friendship despite the constant electricity that always seemed to radiate when I was anywhere near her. I did find that I thought about her entirely more then I should, but at least things weren't fucking uncomfortable as hell when we were all hanging out, and I was proud of myself from refraining myself from humping her against a wall at any given moment. _What? Just saying._

I was supposed to have breakfast with Alice this morning before work, but when I got there Pixie had stood me up. She was probably off in Neverland with Peter Pan on one of their outrageous adventures.

Bella had been sitting on the couch when I entered the apartment. It took all the control I had to not fall to my knees and moan out loud. She was sitting on the couch wearing these little striped shorts and a tank top and wait…hold up…_no bra!_ Of course I would notice that shit right away.

I was fucking staring at her tits when she cleared her throat, snapping my attention back to her face. I was fucking caught, but she had a little smile splayed on her face. That was kind of hot that she didn't mind me ogling her tits.

Then I noticed she was wearing glasses and they looked hot on her. Man was I living out every school boy's fantasy in my head. The things I would do to her over a desk. _Shit Cullen you fucking perv._

Bella explained to me that Alice had left and had to go to her shop to do something work related. I noticed she was doing work herself and felt bad for keeping her and bothering her.

"You never bother me, Edward. It's actually kind of nice to have some company. Alice has been working long hours lately and our paths haven't been crossing much, and Rosalie lives across town now. So, this is…nice," she said.

I smiled and then offered to help her grade her papers. Hey, I had nothing else to do now that Alice had stood me up, and to be perfectly honest I hadn't spent much alone time with Bella and I was curious to get to know her away from the group. Okay, okay, and I am a perv and wasn't ready to leave this view of Bella braless in a skimpy tank top and go back upstairs to look at Emmett sitting on the couch scratching his nuts while farting.

We started working together in a comfortable silence, but my brain was going into overdrive. I knew I shouldn't pry because I was the last person in the world who would ever want to ask someone about a painful past but Emmett had mentioned to me about Bella having her heart broken by her last boyfriend, and I was curious as shit to know what happened. So I just blurted it out.

"Why don't you have a boyfriend? I don't mean to sound rude. It's just that I'm shocked that someone hasn't snatched you up by now."

She took her glasses off and hesitated. I also saw a hint of pain in her eyes. I felt really bad now for asking because I could understand that pain in her eyes. I had it too whenever anyone outright asked me about my past.

When she told me that she had been engaged and that the dickhead started cheating on her and knocked the other girl up and then all but broke up with Bella the night before her wedding shower so he could marry the whore he got pregnant, I just wanted to find this guy and pound his head through a wall. I felt my whole body tighten and clench with the anger I was feeling for this guy I had never met, all because he had hurt Bella that way.

Then I noticed a tear slip down her cheek and I immediately softened and put my hands over hers. I knew there was nothing I could do to take that pain away from her, but hopefully with my touch she would know that she wasn't alone in her pain and maybe I could be of some comfort to her.

"Bella, he's an idiot. Do you hear me? He doesn't even deserve you if he couldn't realize what an amazing person you are." And I truly meant that. This girl was not only beautiful but she seemed to have a heart of gold from what I could tell in the short amount of time we have known each other.

We talked a little bit more, but I knew she needed a distraction. Distraction was the only way I functioned this past year, and if I could teach Bella any of my tricks for getting through hard times I would gladly pass them along.

I asked Bella if she would like to join me for breakfast since I was hungry and really needed to eat before I had to go to work. She agreed and went into her room to change. _Damn…I should have suggested we order in._

As I sat there waiting for Bella and processing everything she had just told me, I realized that we had so much more in common then I ever thought. We had both lost the loves of our lives and were both completely broken because of it. I basically ran away from home in order to not have to deal with it every day, so I could only imagine what it felt like to be in Bella's shoes, living in the same city as that bastard knowing she could run into him at any time.

Then something popped into my head. Something Alice had said before I moved here.

"_It's time to live your life again and stop wallowing in all the hurt and anger. You can't change the past but you definitely have a say in the future. I hate to say this, especially to you, but everything happens for a reason Edward. I just know there is a reason you are leaving Chicago and coming to Seattle. I think you are going to have a very…uh…beautiful, yes beautiful life here."_

Beautiful…Bella…yeah I finally made the fucking connection.

I was also pretty sure that Alice didn't have any work to do this morning. Pixie was up to something, and I had a feeling that she has been for a while now.

***************************************************************************

**A/N- So we got to see a little fire action in this chapter. Can we all please make a mental picture right now of Robward dressed in fireman gear? ***Collective sigh*** okay I gotta stop now before I have to go and change my underoos. **

**We gave a shout out to Emancipation Proclamation and Clipped Wings & Inked Armor in the last chapter. If you are looking for something funny may we suggest "The Bella Swan Diaries" by Ninapolitan (link is in our profile). I was cracking up through the whole story. **

**Our amazing beta, SweetDulcinea, is also an author so please show her some love and check out her stories. The link to her profile can be found on our profile page.**

**If anyone will be in the NYC area and would like to see an advanced screening of New Moon, a group of us have rented out a theater with Summit Entertainments okay and we are going to be seeing the movie the night before it comes out to the general public. Tickets are on sale now. Please PM us and we will forward you the information of where you can purchase tickets. **

**Please click below and leave us some love. We might just let you wipe Edward's brow after he emerges from a flaming building if you do. **


	8. Chapter 8

**We are so sorry for the massive note, but there's lots of important information we need to give you.**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews and for those who put us on story alert and added us to their favorites lists. *A very special shout out needs to go to our 100****th**** reviewer, Clary79! She also happens to be a dear friend, so this chapter is dedicated to you, Lisa…nln* **

****If you will be in the NYC area in November, and would like to see an advanced screening of **_**New Moon**_**, a group of us have rented out a theater with Summit's permission and we are going to watch the movie the night before it opens to the general public! Tickets are on sale now. Please PM us and we will forward you the information you need to purchase tickets****

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***BPOV***

"Hello…Jasper? Anyone home?"

God, I hated using my key to the guys' apartment. Emmett and Jasper gave me and Alice keys to their place ages ago, but I always felt so uncomfortable in using mine. I was meeting Jasper to go over next week's plan of starting reading buddies with his fifth grade class and my third grade class.

I pulled my key from my pocket and unlocked the door. It opened with a slight creak, and I let myself in. I passed the kitchen and made my way to the boys' living room. The TV was blaring ESPN's Sports Center, and a beer bottle was perched on the coffee table, but not a soul was in sight. I began to search down the hallway when I saw the bathroom door was closed at the end of the hall. I briefly thought of knocking on the door, but put the kibosh on that when I heard the shower start up. I decided to wait, as it was probably Jasper getting cleaned up for tonight.

The annual Halloween fundraiser for Emmett and Edward's Fire Company was in a few hours and I have to admit, I was feeling a bit apprehensive. Every year, Alice centered our costumes on some theme. Last year, was _Grease_- the girls and I were Pink Ladies and Jasper and Emmett were T-Birds. This year, being that Edward made our group an even number, she came up with the idea that we all dress as famous couples in history. I knew what she was doing immediately when I was coupled with Edward. It annoyed me at first because I didn't want Edward to think that I was some psycho using my friends to get closer to him, but that was before Edward and I were real friends.

Edward and I had been getting closer and closer. I really appreciated the fact that he never brought up that truly embarrassing "Order an Edward" moment, and he was so incredibly sweet toward me after I spilled my guts about the whole Jake mess. It was then that he confessed that he watched me when we went out and noticed just how many guys tried to hit on me. I was secretly hoping that would light a spark in Edward's ass into trying to ask me out or something, but as usual, he did nothing.

Any time I thought we were breaking that barrier that we had both built around ourselves, he would pull away or leave the room claiming he had to attend to something. It didn't matter if we were alone or with other people, we simply gravitated toward one another, encased in our magnetic bubble, and it was getting a little frustrating at how Edward could brush it off his shoulders as though he didn't feel anything. Either he was a fantastic actor, or he truly wasn't attuned to our connection. I hoped it wasn't the latter because that would mean that I was going crazy, and I really didn't want to think that I was making this shit up in my head like some lunatic. Even though I was on guard around Edward, he was actually chipping away at my wall brick by brick. So much that I entertained thoughts of having a romantic relationship with him daily.

Alice had been relentless in trying to hook me and Edward up. She would purposely not show up at places when she was supposed to meet us out, leaving Edward and I alone. At first it was kind of cute, but now, it was downright annoying! I was growing irritated at how many times she would tell me that she just _knew _Edward and I would end up together. That combined with Edward seeming to be oblivious to it all had me teetering on a ledge waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Was I beginning to see Edward as more than a friend? Yes.

Was I willing to wave a big red flag like a matador leading a bull to its target, forcing Edward my way only to look pathetic? Hell no!

Edward needed to come to his own decision about how he felt about me without Alice jamming me down his throat and without me constantly giving subtle glances of interest.

The shower was still running as I stood in the hallway waiting…for what I had no clue. It hit me when I was face to face with an open door to Edward's room. Amazingly, I had never stepped foot in there. As if something in there was beckoning me, calling me from inside, I began to take baby steps and before I knew it, I was at the threshold of Edward's sanctuary. I stole a glance over my shoulder to check that no one was behind me.

I knew I shouldn't go in, as Edward was clearly not home.

It was wrong on so many levels to invade someone's privacy like that without being invited in. What if someone were to catch me?

This was Edward's room. I felt a little bad…

I went in anyway.

The first thing I noticed was his big inviting bed. I was really tempted to curl under his navy blue covers and smash my head into his pillow to soak in the essence of Edward, but I maintained my control. His space was nicely kept, for a guy. There were a few items of clothing strewn on the floor, but other than that, things seemed to be in its rightful place.

I padded over to his desk, where I noticed his laptop was opened. The thought didn't even cross my mind to take a peek. I might have entered the room without his permission, but I certainly wasn't going to go all _Fatal Attraction_ on him. As I turned away from the desk, growing more and more uncomfortable at the realization that I probably made a mistake in coming in here, I noticed an array of framed pictures to the right of the laptop. They were so neatly arranged in rows, I didn't dare touch any of them in fear of knocking them over. I bent down slightly to study the pictures further.

One held a picture of his parents, Carlisle and Esme. I recognized them from one of Alice's collection of photos. They were a stunning couple, straight out of an old classic movie. Edward definitely got his looks from his mother. Esme had the same striking coppery colored locks which rested in a bed of waves on her shoulders. Her piercing green eyes staring back at me, as though it was Edward looking into my eyes. Carlisle had the lightest shade of golden hair I had ever seen on a man. His eyebrow was cocked and he wore the same panty dropping smirk as his son. I guess Carlisle taught him well.

My head leaned to the left to get a better image of the pictures in the back row. There were a few pictures of Edward and his fire house buddies in Chicago- standing in front of a fire truck, one where they were dressed in baseball uniforms holding up a big golden trophy, and one of Edward and a few friends in front of the closed red garage of the firehouse, donning their formal fireman's uniforms reserved for funerals and special occasions. They were all smiling, so I can assume it was a special occasion as to why they were so dressed up.

Stretching my head a little further up, I spotted a small picture frame that was already knocked over, face down. I knew I shouldn't have picked it up, my mind was screaming at me. But there was this little voice inside my head taunting me, daring me to just flip the picture over.

The voice won.

I tentatively grasped the frame and picked it up, being careful in not getting fingerprints on the glass. Turning the picture over in my hands, my breathing hitched a little at the sight before me. It was a picture of a beautiful couple, a very happy couple. Neither of them was looking directly at the camera, but rather, they were focused on each other and the love they shared. It was as clear as day that these two were devoted to one another. The woman, with her long, wavy, strawberry blonde hair, had her head tilted in the direction of the man. Her eyes were closed and she had her lips parted in laughter, flashing some of her pearly white teeth. She was holding on tightly to the man who was encasing her in his arms from behind.

My attention turned toward the man who appeared just as blissful as the gorgeous woman. He seemed familiar to me, yet seemed to be a stranger at the same time. For this man wore the most content look on his face, looking at his love with such adoration, as though she were his most prized possession in his universe. Everything about the way this man was in this picture was so unfamiliar, I may as well been looking at some guy on the street. However, that damn lopsided grin my eyes kept gravitating towards made me painfully aware that I did indeed know this man.

Edward.

I was totally staring at a picture of Edward, and who, without a shadow of a doubt, was Tanya. I thought they have been broken up for over a year now. What the fuck was he still doing displaying a picture of her and him together like this? I gathered from Alice that it was Tanya who bailed out on the relationship leaving Edward just as broken as I was over Jake. Wasn't this terribly painful to look at day in and day out? Maybe that's why the frame was faced down? Was he embarrassed? Jesus, talk about still holding out a torch for someone. Edward was keeping a god damned bonfire alive for Tanya. I knew how he felt, but I didn't dare keep any pictures of Jake and me lying around.

Even though looking at this picture had tugged on my heart strings a bit, I was more bound and determined to help Edward get over Tanya. She must be some picky bitch to have willingly let Edward go like she did. What the hell happened anyay?

Well, I wanted to be the one to heal him. I was oddly protective of Edward more than ever now. Maybe Alice was right. Maybe he was attracted to me in some way and felt the connection I did and still do whenever we are in close proximity of one another. Perhaps all he needed was a little push from me. Yes, tonight was going to be the night I would try to get a little closer to Edward.

With my newfound determination, I placed the photo back in its original position and straightened up. I made a swift exit and was back in the hallway again. I turned my attention to the bathroom door and heard that the shower was turned off. The bathroom doorknob started to jiggle. _Oh shit!_ Turning around quickly, I bounded down the hallway to wait in the living room. The door squeaked open.

"Bella?"

Fuckity fuck! That velvety voice calling my name was like swimming on a bed of silk. I thought he was working!

"Oh, hey, Edwa—" _THUMP_.

Being the ever so graceful creature that I am, I tripped over my feet and bumped my face right into the wall in an attempt to twirl around and meet Edward face to face.

"Ow," was all I could muster as my hands instinctively covered my face in embarrassment.

"Jesus, are you alright? Are you hurt?" Edward's voice was extremely close.

Dropping my hands from my face, I nearly had a heart attack at the sight of the Greek god before me. Edward was sex wrapped up in a blue towel, which hung very low on his waist. This was the first time that I had seen him shirtless and it took all my remaining resolve not to lunge at him and assault him with my hands to roam over his rock hard pecs, his finely sculpted abs, and that muscled "V" at his hips…_mmmm, the list goes on and on. _The light dusting of chest hair was so sexy on him and don't get me started on the line of fine feathery hair that disappeared below the towel, that led to what I wanted to call one day, my personal amusement park. _Yum, there's a ride I'd like to go on again and again and…_

"Uh…I'm fine." I muttered, shaking my head. He eyed me skeptically. "Really Edward, I'm okay. My nose hurts a little, but there's no bleeding, so I'm all good." I turned to get the hell out of there. I could feel my face flushing and I really needed to take a cold shower to freeze this image of him in my brain. Forever.

"Wait a minute." A strong hand grasped my shoulder and spun me back around. "Let me check you out." He placed his hands on either side of my face and stared intently at my features making sure there wasn't any bruising. _Is he trying to kill me?_

"What are you doing here anyway?" Edward inquired while smoothing the pads of his thumbs on either side of my nose.

"I was supposed to meet Jasper to go over some activities we were planning with our classes. When no one answered, I used my key to let myself in. I thought Jasper was the one in the shower so I stuck around." His hands on my face were causing sparks of electricity to pulse through my body.

"Well, he was here before I went in the shower. He probably went to go check on his laundry or something." He wasn't letting me go. I need to hightail it out of there so I could breathe again and…

_Dear Lord_. My eyes averted to the direction of the left side of his face where a rouge water droplet plunked off the hair on the nape of his neck and proceeded to glide effortlessly down his collarbone, over his delicious pecs, where it stopped to say "hello" to his nipple before descending to the sides of his muscular abs.

I wanted to lick that tiny droplet of water and retrace its steps with my tongue. _Shit! Did I just whimper?_

"What is it Bella? What hurts you?"

_Oh nothing. I sort of want you in the worst way, but don't know how to go about letting you know since I think you are still a tad hung up on your beautiful ex-girlfriend whom I clearly can't compete with._

"Uh, my head, I think," I squeaked. I cleared my throat in attempt to lessen the Edward induced fog I seemed to be in. "Listen, Edward, I should really be going. I'll talk to Jasper later at the party." I moved backwards slightly, prompting Edward to let go of my face. I felt the loss immediately. I turned and started back down the hallway.

"You have your costume ready, right?" he called to me. I spun around…carefully this time.

"Of course. Alice would string me up if I didn't cooperate. Are you still okay with pairing up with me? I mean, I hope Alice and Jasper didn't force you into this."

He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. "No, that pixie didn't do anything to me. I wanted to, Bella."

"Oh, okay." I smiled. "So, I'll see you later then? Perhaps on the dance floor?" I hinted as that was my feeble attempt to get him to dance with me.

"Yeah, sure." He nodded and then flashed me his lopsided smile. With that, I made my way to the door and went back to my place.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

"May the force be with you," the Tom Cruise ala _Risky Business_ lookalike snickered with a shit eating grin.

"Emmett, I swear on everything that is good and holy I will smack that smile off your face if you don't stop saying that to me! It's not even funny anymore." I swatted his hand as he reached for my hair.

"Ow! Shit Bells, you are one tough cookie. I just wanted to see if those buns are real," Emmett retorted looking wondrously at my signature Princess Leia up do.

"Yes, they're real and it took Alice a long time to twirl my locks just right so the buns are even on both sides. She's going to beat you senseless if she spies you admiring these with your massive hands." I pointed at my hair. Thankfully, she was able to use my real hair instead of having to wear an oppressive wig.

Alice did a superb job dressing me in this Princess Leia costume, giving the Seventies Princess a little modern overhaul by having me slip into a white tight little number that fell a couple of inches above my knees, with its long sleeves flaring at my wrists. It was still conservative enough, as my neck was completely covered. She accented the dress with a fat patent leather black belt that fit snug around my waist, accentuating my curves above and below the belt. The best part of this outfit was the white leather knee boots I was wearing that made me about four inches taller in them. Feeling empowered, like I often felt when Alice made me up, I was ready to let loose and have fun tonight.

"Ah, here's my favorite prostitute now," Emmett cooed as Rosalie, who was a vision in a tight, short pink dress and her hair splayed around her shoulders, sidled up next to him, handing me my martini.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "It's those _tighty whities_ he's wearing, Bella. It's sucking the oxygen right out of his brain, which is why he has no verbal filter tonight," she explained in response to his comment just now. "So, you look like all sorts of hotness this evening, Bells. It's too bad you didn't wear the Princess Leia slave costume. I can't imagine the looks you would be getting from all the guys here. As it is, Mike Newton has been eyeing you for an hour now looking as though he might pounce on you any second."

"Oh please," I bushed. "I don't have enough guts to strut around practically half naked in that slave outfit. Plus, I don't think Edward would have been so thrilled to be Jaba the Hut. Does such a costume even exist?" I chucked and took a nice long sip of my drink.

"So right, my friend. Speaking of Edward, have you seen him? He is one fierce hottie tonight," Rose deduced as she took a swig of her beer.

Before I could even answer, Emmett jumped in. "Oh, he's around. Don't you worry sweet Bella." _Why the hell was he grinning?_ I wanted to rip those signature black Ray Bans off his head.

"Why would I be worried?" I shot Rosalie a death glare, knowing that she probably told Emmett my plan in trying to get closer to Edward.

"Don't look at me like that." She laughed. "This one already figured it out," she said, elbowing Emmett in the stomach.

"Yeah hon. You forget just how long I have known you and the fact that you are like an open book. It's all good. I like Eddie and I'm pretty sure he's into you. He's already admitted to me and Jasper he thinks you're beautiful, so…" he trailed off taking a chug from his bottle of beer.

"Really?"

"Yes, my dear. So just have a good time and you'll know when the time is right to confront our Eddie boy," Emmett winked, snaking his arm around Rosalie. "Come on baby, let's roll!" He began to steer Rose in the direction of the dance floor.

I shook my head in amazement. I was taking advice from a man who was wearing white briefs, a white button down shirt that barely covered his junk and white tube socks. I had to admit, he was right. I couldn't believe that Edward told Em and Jas that he thought I was beautiful. He's said it to me before, but having it validated from someone else made me smile and feel more confident.

Just when I began to make my way toward Alice and Jasper, who were standing by the bar, I spotted Edward talking animatedly to a bunch of fellow firefighters. I sashayed over to where he was.

"Hello boys," I drawled and positioned myself between Seth and Mike, making me directly across from Edward, my Han Solo. I eyed him up quickly and immediately agreed with Rose that he did look delicious wearing only black pants, a white thermal shirt, and a black vest. What really sealed the deal for me was the gun holster sound his waist with one of those pretend mini machine guns attached to it. Of course, he caught me checking him out…yet again. Edward silently responded with his trademark lopsided grin and raked his emerald eyes over me in appreciation…I think.

"Bella! Man, you look absolutely smokin' girl," Seth praised as he enveloped me in a side hug.

"Yeah Edward, you better keep a close eye on this one tonight. I have a feeling that if you turn around, someone might just snatch her up," Mike chimed in, hugging me on my other side and planting a chaste kiss on my cheek for good measure. I giggled at the attention these guys were giving me.

Ah, Mike Newton. He started working the same time as Emmett, so I have known him for a while. He's also never been shy to express his interest in me. He's a smooth one, that Mike. It used to drive Jake crazy at how much attention Mike would pay me when we all hung out. It was as though Mike didn't care that I was unavailable at the time. Now that I was single, I had a feeling that he would be even more forward in his advances toward me. If I didn't know Edward, then I would absolutely entertain thoughts of Mike and me. Why not? He's built, very good looking in a "boy next door" kind of way, and his thick blonde hair was long enough to tug your hands through during moments of heated passion. Plus, he looked hot dressed as a gangster in a pinstriped suit, hair all slicked back, and a gun slung over his shoulder.

There was one detail standing in my way: Edward. Yeah, that man has ruined it for any other guy trying to gain my affection.

I couldn't describe the look on Edward's face, but his brow furrowed a tiny bit and his eyes were like slits, which he aimed in Mike's direction, as he sized up Mike's arm around my waist. Anger? Jealousy perhaps?

"Just because we are paired as a couple from the looks of our costumes doesn't mean we are together. Bella can do whatever she wants," Edward spat as he looked away and ran his hand through his messy bronze mop.

Ouch…that stung a bit. Ugh, here we go again with his mood swings.

I rolled my eyes and finished my martini. "I'll see you guys around. I'm off to fill up again," I informed them as I raised my empty glass to them and began to walk away in the direction to the bar.

As the night wore on, I was beginning to think tonight was not going to be the night to get closer to Edward. For some reason, he was trying to distance himself from me. Wherever I was, it seemed as though he was making a conscious effort to not be there. However, I caught him staring at me quite a few times, and he would simply smile and nod. He looked as though he was having an internal battle with himself, the way he would make sure I was in his sight, yet wouldn't make a move to come to talk with me.

Edward did make an effort to come over and dance with me, Rosalie, and Alice at one point. Well, it's more like he stole Alice from us to dance with just her. Rosalie and I kept giving each other the "What the Fuck?" look. Alice glanced over to us and shrugged her shoulders quickly to relay her confusion as well.

Once the song ended, Edward waved to us and was off. I didn't get what his problem was.

As if mirroring my thoughts, Alice huffed, "I don't get what the hell his problem is! I haven't a clue as to why he is deliberately trying to stay away from you, yet keep a sharp eye on wherever you are."

"Hell if I know," was all I could offer.

"Hey, who is that talking to Emmett, Jasper, and Edward?" Rosalie pointed toward the entrance of the firehouse party room. The guys were talking with a leggy, fiery red head who was wearing an extremely skimpy devil costume. I didn't like how close she was leaning into them, and why the fuck was she holding on to Edward's arm like that?

Alice grimaced in disgust, "Oh, that's Victoria. Emmett introduced her to Jas and me before. She owns that new club that opened up. I think it's called, _Eclipse_, or something. Anyway, she helped the firehouse get all the alcohol for this party at a discount through her connections. The guys, in turn, promised to promote her club. Actually, I forgot to tell you two that we will be making an appearance there in a couple of weeks."

"Well, it seems as though she wants to take a juicy bite out of Edward…that bitch," Rosalie scoffed. "Sorry sweetie," she comforted as she began to rub my shoulder.

"Please, there's nothing to be sorry for. In fact, I feel sorry for Victoria," I laughed darkly.

"Why's that?" Alice and Rose both countered.

"Okay, I wasn't going to tell you guys this, but I'll make it brief." I informed the girls about my self guided tour of Edward's room and the slamming of my face in the wall after being nearly caught, and the encounter with Edward and his only wearing a towel. Alice and Rose simply gaped at me, mouths open like goldfish.

"I don't believe it! He has a picture of him and Tanya on his desk for the entire world to see?" Alice was clearly in shock.

"Well, in Edward's defense, it was placed face down, which leads me to believe that he feels he can't look at the picture, but for some reason is unable to part with it."

Alice muttered something to herself about getting over something, but she was talking so low, Rose and I couldn't make it out.

"Girls, I don't know if I should try to ask Edward out on a date right now. After seeing that picture, it's clear that Edward is still in love with this Tanya person, and I can't compete with her. Not after what I went through with Jake. I just can't."

"Oh please don't say that Bella," Alice begged, grabbing me by the shoulders. "I promise you have absolutely _nothing_ to worry about where Tanya is concerned. You have to understand that they lived with each other and they really did have a pretty solid relationship."

"Um, not helping here, Alice," Rosalie chimed in.

"All I am trying to tell our dear Bells is that she shouldn't be giving up. Tanya is not in the picture anymore. Case closed. We know that Edward is attracted to you, but won't make the first move. What? Don't look at me like that Bella- I see the way he looks at you! Anyway, Edward needs that little nudge. I have tried, but now it's time for you, Bella, to take the bull by the horns and go for it. You won't be disappointed. I can feel it!" Alice smiled warmly at me nodding her head.

"Fine. I'll do it," I decided. Alice's little pep talk empowered me again. I started towards the restrooms. I needed to primp myself a little bit before finding Edward and talking to him. That is if he'll talk to me.

After deducing that I looked good and ready for Edward, I began my quest to find him. I hadn't seen him in the dance floor or near the bar, so I decided to search by the fire house. The party room we were in was attached, so I opened the doors. It was eerily quiet as I walked in between the fire trucks. I briefly considered walking upstairs to check the kitchen and the bedrooms, but the laughter I heard broke my thoughts.

The quiet laughter was coming from a woman and it sounded like she was in the hallway. The low muted sound countering hers was clearly a man's voice. As I gravitated toward where this couple was in the hallway, I was struck with the same moral conflict as this afternoon about entering Edward's room. I knew I shouldn't be peeping on other people, but damn, I was curious. Especially since nobody was allowed to be in this area, so I concluded that it had to be a firefighter with this woman.

You know the saying: _Curiosity killed the cat?_ Well, like that inquisitive cat, I slinked quietly around the corner only to come face to face with what had indeed killed me.

Edward was sucking some serious face with Victoria. I'm talking really going at it, and roughly I might add. His hands were entangled in her snarly curly hair, and she had him pinned up against the wall. One of Victoria's legs was hitched over his hip, causing her already overly short devil dress to rise higher, exposing part of her stocking covered ass, and it looked as though she were clawing at him. I wasn't sure who was battling for dominance, but their breathing was labored and intense, and their faces kept moving from side to side. It looked like something straight out of _Animal Planet. _My stomach immediately twisted in knots, threatening to purge its contents all over the floor. I clutched it as a silent plea to just wait a bit longer until I was out of sight.

I quietly gasped as I looked away, but apparently it wasn't so quiet because when I turned my head back to face them, Edward and Victoria were staring right back at me. Victoria was smiling and panting and Edward looked…well, he looked like he just shit his pants. His eyes bugged out if his head and he tried to push Victoria away, but she was still clutching onto him like she was claiming ownership of him, that fucking leg still hitched on his hip.

"Can we help you?" Victoria sneered as she gave me the once over. Edward just stood there, arms at his sides, allowing that harpy to hang all over him. He did nothing. Absolutely nothing.

With that, I turned and flew out of there as quickly as I could. With tears stinging my eyes, threatening to spill over, I clenched my fists at my side, willing them to fucking go away. Fuck Edward Cullen! He was choosing to ignore me so he could get it on with that red-headed beast! I guess he's looking for a piece of ass and that's it. _But why doesn't he want to take a piece of your ass? _My mind questioned. No! I was not going to start to doubt myself again. I have been through too much to fall back into that mindset. He was not going to see that he got the best of me. He wanted trash; let him get all the trash he wanted.

I finally made my way back to the party and spotted Alice, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper at the bar getting ready to have a shot. At this point my chest was heaving with disgust and anger, and I was starting to sweat in my outfit. I poked my finger in the neckline of my dress, moving it from side to side, trying to allow some air to get through.

Right when Emmett was going to take his shot, I grabbed it from him and downed it, and practically threw the shot glass on the bar. Then I quickly snatched Jasper's and gulped that, as well, slamming the glass on the bar. I used the back of my hand to savagely wipe my mouth.

"Bella, honey, do you mind telling us why you just inhaled two shots of Patron?" Jasper inquired, holding his hands up in surrender.

Rosalie and Alice stood there, shots glasses in air, clearly thinking I have lost my mind by the horrified looks they were shooting each other.

Emmett finally spoke up, "Yeah, what gives Bells? You hate tequila."

"Well, Emmett my dear old pal, I like it now." I turned to Alice and Rosalie, "Oh, and you were right Alice, Edward is clearly ready to move on from Tanya. Thing is, it's certainly not with me. I just caught him sucking the face off of Victoria." I turned to the guys and spat, "You know the skanky club owner dressed as a devil slut?" I left the four of them with their eyes wide and mouths open.

I turned and practically lunged for the dance floor. If Edward didn't want me, I knew someone who did. I decided right there and then- no more internally pining for someone who didn't feel the same way as me. Fuck the magnetism and electric pull we seemed to share with each other. I would be cordial and that's it. I wouldn't cause a scene, and I wouldn't seek him out, either. I found my target talking with a group of guys I already knew and slithered up to him, snaking an arm around his waist.

"Hey there," I purred. "I believe you owe me a dance."

"Do I now?" Mike responded by placing his arm around my waist, immediately ignoring the rest of his group. "I don't remember that."

"Oh, you don't? Well, I guess I was mistaken. Maybe it was Eric…" I began to pull away from Mike just as he was pulling me toward his body.

"Uh uh. You're mine now," he purred right back at me.

Mike maneuvered us so that we were off to the side of the dance floor, placing one of his legs between my own, pressing his body against mine. We were encased in our own little bubble as we danced in synchronicity to the beat of the music.

With each sway of my hips against Mike's, I was resolving to not think of Edward, but to no avail.

Whenever Mike glided his hands over the sides of my body and down my back, just barely grazing my ass, I imagined they were Edward's hands roaming over me.

With each hip thrust Mike shot at my leg to the beat of the song playing, I imagined that it was Edward's erection that was rubbing against me, making me feel just how much I turned him on. That spurred me on even more as I linked my arms around Mike's neck and pulled him even closer. By now, Mike's breathing hitched, and I could see from his hooded black eyes that he wanted me in the worst way.

As if making his dream a reality, I leaned in and planted a kiss on his lips, capturing his bottom lip and gently stroking my tongue over it. Mike whimpered a little as he glued his hands to my ass, squeezing it, and moved his head to the side to deepen the kiss. I opened my mouth and let his tongue in so it could swirl around mine.

It was a simple kiss, and I didn't feel any sparks or butterflies in my stomach. I really wasn't even turned on. However, I couldn't stop. The tequila shots were starting to get to my head, though I wasn't drunk. All I could think about was Edward and how I wished these were his lips that I was attached to. I was on autopilot and I couldn't break away from what I was doing, and Mike showed no signs of stopping, so we just kept kissing and kissing…

That is until two hands came in from behind me and grabbed my waist and snapped me backwards until I hit a brick wall. I was quickly spun around only to realize that brick wall was Edward- a very angry looking Edward. Mike fell out of his Bella induced fog and shook his head, trying to comprehend what was going on.

"Dude! What the fuck?" Mike spat. Edward didn't even respond, but rather he shot Mike some evil death glare, causing Mike to retreat a bit.

Before I could open my mouth to give Edward a piece of my mind, he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder like he was carrying a sack of potatoes.

"Let me down, you asshole!" I screamed as I pounded my fists into his lower back and shook my legs in a vain attempt to break free. Edward kept on swiftly gliding toward to the doors, not saying a damn thing. That just made me even angrier, so I pounded even harder.

Once we made it outside, we were hit with the cold October air. Edward carried me around the corner of the firehouse. I was still flailing in his arms as he tried to let me down gently. When my feet hit the concrete, I tried to make a dash for it, but Edward was too quick, grabbing me from behind, pulling me against him.

"What the hell? Who do you think you are, some Neanderthal? Let. Me. Go!" I shouted, rage coursing through my veins, as I grabbed his arms, trying to peel him off of me.

"Are you going to try to run off if I do?" Edward whispered on my ear. Why oh why did his breath on the side of my face have to immediately make my girly parts tingle? _Traitor hormones!_

"N-no," I stuttered. Edward finally let me go and placed my back against the wall, caging me in with his arms, as they were on either side of me. I guess he didn't trust that I wouldn't bail. I crossed my arms in defiance and looked away from him. I couldn't look into those green eyes of his- not now.

We didn't speak for a couple of minutes. I kept my head turned as I felt Edward's stare on me. All that could be heard was our labored breathing from being keyed up at the moment.

Edward was the one to break the silence. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

I still couldn't look at him. "You didn't hurt me. If anything I hurt myself trying to inflict pain on you with my fists."

"I didn't mean carrying you out just now. I meant before, when you saw me with Victoria."

"Oh," I said, making myself face him now.

"Yeah, I didn't mean for you to see that or anything. But, I have to ask, is that why you were lip locked with Newton just now?" he asked, peering at me with a look in his eyes I had never seen before…_hurt?_

"Please! Get over yourself Edward! I kissed Mike because I wanted to." I lied, turning away from him. His stare was too much for me to bear.

"I had no idea you were interested in that punk. I'm glad I am finding this out now," Edward spat, releasing his grip from the wall and moving away from me.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Don't call Mike a punk. He's actually a nice guy, but I don't have feelings for him. I got caught up in a moment and…ugh! Why the fuck am I explaining myself to you? I don't owe you or anyone a damn explanation! Remember Edward, I can do whatever I want, right?" I repeated the words he had said earlier.

Hearing those words sparked something inside Edward because he began pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair and pulling it. He was muttering to himself, but I couldn't make out what he was saying.

He stopped abruptly to gaze at me. I stared right back, still keeping my arms folded. I let out a shiver as a cool breeze hit my face. We were getting nowhere, and I was getting cold.

I started to turn and walk away when Edward spoke softly. "Wait. Please don't go inside yet."

He moved closer to me as I paused. He placed a hand on my elbow pulling me back to my original spot against the wall.

"I can't do this anymore," he began. "I have tried to fight this. I have tried to place my attention on other women, but seeing you with Mike flipped some sort of switch in me. I realize that I don't want to fight this connection we share." He motioned his hand from me to him. He placed his fingers under my chin and lifted it so my eyes would lock with his. "I can't distance myself from you now; I refuse to let that happen." Edward leaned in closer and placed his cool hand on the side of my face. Instinctively, I tilted toward his hand. I loved his simple touch. It sent sparks throughout my body.

"Do you feel that?" he asked, as if he were snooping in my thoughts. "All I have is my hand on your face and my whole damn body is responding to you. I can feel the electricity running through my very being. By the look on your face, I know you feel it too."

I nodded my head in agreement.

"Jesus, it's like my body is on fire. I've never felt like this before…and I like it." He closed his eyes in surrender.

"I-I have never felt this, either. I felt it the first day I bumped into you," I replied shakily. "I like it, too."

"I'm sorry about carrying you out the way I did. I couldn't stand to see you with Mike anymore. I didn't like it," he admitted while stroking the side of my face with his fingers.

"It was just a kiss, Edward," I whispered softly, reaching up and placing my hands on his shoulders.

"I. Didn't. Like. It. Listen, I don't know if either of us is really ready for this, given our pasts, but clearly being friends is not working."

I dropped my hands from his shoulders in defeat, which prompted Edward to let go of my face. _What kind of game was he playing?_

"Ugh!" he snarled. "Why can't I say anything right in front of you?" He looked up into the sky and raked his hands through his hair again. Man he does that a lot!

"What do you mean? I do not understand you, Edward."

He stalked up to me and pressed his forehead against mine. "What I am trying to tell you is that I don't want to stay away from you a minute longer. I would like to explore a deeper relationship with you that goes beyond friendship." Edward closed his eyes as his breathing picked up.

"Oh." The light bulb flickered on in my brain, my chest heaving a little. "How do you suppose we do that?"

"How do you suppose we do that?" he repeated, chuckling darkly, lifting his head, searing me with his eyes. "Well, Miss Bella, first, we are going to get out of here and away from our…distractions. I am going to take you out on a date. Tomorrow night. Don't make any other plans."

_Yes and Sir._

*****************************************************************************

**Up next: Date Night! Pauline and I are going to let you in on a little secret…Chapter 9 has already been written and sent to our beta, and it's a great one! **

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	9. Chapter 9

**A/N-Hello everyone. We just need to thank a few people before we get into this chapter. Thanks to our beta SweetDulcinea and also to Keepingupwiththekids and ****dolphin62598 for being our second and third sets of eyes.**

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***EPOV***

I was in the middle of a nice peaceful sleep when all of a sudden, I was jostled awake by someone jumping onto my bed. I didn't even need to open my eyes to know who it was.

"Alice, when I open my eyes and look at my clock you better pray that it is at least after ten o'clock," I said before opening one eye and glancing at the clock on my nightstand. _Eight-thirty!…Grrrr!_

"Oh chill out Edward, you'll live," she said as I pulled the pillow out from under my head and placed it over my face.

"Alice, today is my day off and I am slightly hung over from the Halloween Party. Can't you let me have one morning to just sleep in?"

"Of course I can't. You're lucky I didn't wake you up hours ago. I have hardly been able to sleep a wink since Bella told me about your date tonight. I'm so excited I could scream!"

I took a deep breath before finally removing the pillow over my face to look at my cousin who was sitting directly next to me on my bed.

"Well good news travels fast," I said with a sly smile since I knew Alice was just ready to explode with excitement.

Alice popped up on her knees, clapped and squealed so loud that she looked like a fucking humming bird.

"It is better than good news; it's fan-fucking-tabulous news if you ask me," she declared.

I ran my fingers through my hair and rolled my eyes at her.

"So?" she said.

"So…what?" I asked

"Where are you taking her? What are you guys going to do?"

"Geez Alice, I don't fucking know. I just woke up. I haven't gotten that far yet."

"Well, you better get the flipping ball rolling because it's tonight, and you have to make this special and romantic and epic."

How was it possible that I had only been awake for five fucking minutes and my head was already spinning? I guess that was one of Pixie's gifts, or curses…depending on who you asked.

"First of all, Alice, I do plan on making it special, but epic? Really?" I asked. "It's our first date, a first for both of us in a long time. Let me just take this slow. I wasn't even planning on this so please just allow me some time to wrap my head around all of it."

She looked down at me and cocked her head to the side. "Okay Edward. Slow, I get it. Still, there is so much to think about and plan before tonight, and we don't have a lot of time," she said as she jumped off my bed and headed towards the door. "Meet me in the kitchen in ten minutes so we can discuss. I'll make you breakfast," she shouted over her shoulder as she bounded down the hallway.

I groaned and turned onto my side. My eyes closed, and the events from the previous night replayed in my head.

The night had gone well, at first. I had been talking to Eric and Mike when I first saw Bella. She came over to us and she looked so fucking hot in her Princess Leia costume. When I saw the way Mike ogled her, I had two thoughts immediately. One was to throw a blanket over her to cover her up, and two, to knock Mike's teeth out of his head. It was obvious he had a thing for her. The way his greasy hands wound around her waist was proof of that, and that shit didn't sit well with me at all.

The cold, hard facts remained that I was jealous over Bella and drinking too much. Together these things were not a good combination. Therefore, I made a conscious decision to keep my distance from her all night. However, that didn't mean I wasn't going to keep an eye on her. While I knew most of the people at this party, there were also some random guys, and I would be damned if I was going to let anyone I didn't know get near her.

After my third beer or maybe it was my ninth - who's counting? - Emmett introduced me to a woman named Victoria. Apparently, she owned some hot club in town and had gotten us the liquor for the party at a good price. She was definitely outgoing, maybe I'd even describe her as being a little _too_ forward by the way she was flirting with me. She was an attractive woman in that sex kitten kind of way, but not really my type.

Emmett, Jasper and I made conversation with Victoria for several minutes. Once talk died down, Emmett and Jasper left to find Rosalie and Alice. Victoria was flirting with me big time. She had weaved her arm through mine and asked me if I wanted to do a shot with her. I quickly looked around the room to see where Bella was, and when I saw her talking to Alice and Rose, I relaxed a little and agreed to have a shot with Victoria.

Seconds after we downed two shots of tequila, Victoria grabbed on to my arm again and said in what I am assuming was her best seduction voice, "So Edward, do you think I could get my own private tour of the firehouse? I've been dying to see a real life firehouse on the inside."

I didn't really want to leave the party, but she was practically dragging me towards the door that connected to the house. I was also feeling a bit drunk, and not using my head, so I conceded in silence and followed her lead.

We walked in and weren't twenty feet down the hallway before she attacked me. I wasn't shocked at her forwardness. I had read her signals loud and clear. I didn't really want to be kissing her, but at the same time, it had been so long since I had any type of physical intimacy with someone that I just sort of thought _what the hell_ and went with it.

Imagining that the passion was coming from Bella instead of Victoria kept me lip locked with her. It was hard because Victoria was rough and ferocious, while I always imagined Bella to be soft and sensual, but Bella's face was in my head. Victoria hitched her leg up on to my hip, and I ran my hand down her thigh imagining Bella's legs. _God, how I wished that it was Bella pressed up against me right now instead of Victoria._

All of a sudden, I heard a gasp and looked over to see none other than the face in my thoughts.

Bella.

_Fuck fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck!_

Shock filled my system as my mind raced for words. In my haze, I didn't realize Victoria said something to Bella and before I could form a sentence, she was out the door. I had never felt like a bigger piece of shit in my entire life. I pushed Victoria away and mumbled something about having to get back to the party before I bolted out the door, basically leaving her with her mouth hanging open and the male equivalent of blue balls. I didn't really care about how Victoria felt, and I know that is a dick thing to say, but I knew I had fucked up and hurt Bella in my alcohol induced state. I had to find her right away and fix it.

I rushed back out to the party and immediately started searching for Bella. After what felt like hours I found her, and my vision blurred with red as the anger flowed through my veins. She was dancing; or rather dry humping, Mike Newton while he had his hands all over her and his tongue down her throat. I knew there was a reason why I hated that little shit. I had a feeling she was doing this to get back at my stupid ass, and if she was trying to get me mad…it was working.

I acted on impulse, and I stormed straight through the crowd, pushing past people as they cursed at me to "watch it." I grabbed her, threw her over my shoulder, and hauled ass outside. All the while her tiny fists pounded against my back as she yelled profanities that would make a sailor blush.

When I finally set her down, I knew she was pissed, but I also knew this was the pivotal moment. I just acted like a jealous boyfriend on steroids, and there would be no going back to "_just friends_" at this point. I had fought so long and hard against being with this woman because I was afraid to get involved again. I knew that it would be impossible for me to stay away from her, and I obviously couldn't stand seeing her with other men. I sucked it up and took that frightening step across the line. I asked her out on a date.

She said yes.

Which brings me back to the here and now.

I sat up in bed and brought my legs over the side to rest on the floor. I leaned my elbows onto my thighs and put my head in my hands. Was I really ready for this? It didn't seem like I had much choice in the matter now. It wasn't that I didn't want to go out with Bella tonight, but I was nervous. I wasn't sure exactly why I was nervous. Was I nervous because it could be awkward for us if the night was a disaster and we had to face each other the next day? Or was I nervous that it could be an absolutely perfect success?

There was only one way to find out.

"Edward!" Alice screamed from the kitchen. "Breakfast is ready!"

I got up, slipped sweat pants on over my boxers and a t-shirt over my head, as I walked out toward the kitchen.

I saw that Emmett and Jasper were sitting at the table stuffing their faces with pancakes that Alice had made.

"What are you two fools doing up this early?" I asked.

Emmett looked up at me with his mouth full of pancake and said, "The same reason you are up. Once Pixie here is up, no one sleeps."

"I poured you some orange juice, Edward," Alice stated as she slid into the seat across from where I was to sit.

"Well, it's the least you could do after waking me up at the butt crack of dawn," I said sarcastically.

Alice just rolled her eyes and ignored my obvious bad mood.

"So what's the game plan for this evening?" she inquired, and when I looked up, I had three sets of eyes fixed on me, waiting anxiously for my response.

"Come on! Not you guys too!" I said incredulously to Jasper and Emmett.

"Hey, we are just excited for the two of you, that's all," Jasper said in his usual calm demeanor.

With that, Alice reached behind her to where her purse was on the floor, pulled out a red folder-like book and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked as I opened it up and stared.

"It's a list of places and things that people can do on dates. I color coded each activity depending on what area in the city you want to go, what type of mood you are trying to set, and of course, weather condition permitting activities," she said.

_YOU'VE. GOT. TO. BE. KIDDING. ME. _This girl was crazier than I ever thought possible. How is it possible that we are related?

"Nuh-uh!" I said. "Absofuckinglutely not!" I snapped as I slammed the folder down on the table. "Look Alice, I know you are just trying to help, but this is not about you or anyone else. This is about Bella and me. I don't know what we will end up doing tonight, but whatever it is will be simple and laid back. I just want a quiet, relaxed night where we can talk and get to know each other on a different level. I don't need all the bells and whistles, and I certainly don't need your color coordinated date folder. When did you even do this?"

"I told you I wasn't able to sleep last night."

"You did this last night? There's like a hundred fucking pages in this thing! It's typed and even professionally bound," I observed as I picked it back up and flipped through the pages.

When I glanced up at her, she looked a little hurt, and then I felt bad. Before I could say a word, she busted out laughing with Jasper and Emmett joining in. I looked at them all before I started to laugh, too.

"There _is _a twenty-four hour Kinko's on the corner, Edward," she squeaked out between giggles. That just made the rest of us laugh harder until I finally had to force myself to stop because I pulled a muscle in my stomach.

"Okay, Edward, you are right," she said as she started to breathe normally again. "You need to do this your way. I know Bella really well, and I think that simple and laid back would be what she would like. She is all sorts of nervous about tonight, so I'm sure whatever you plan for the two of you will be perfect."

I got up from my seat, walked around the table to where Alice was sitting, and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Thanks Pixie," I said. "I really do appreciate you wanting to help, but I think I need to do this my way this time."

"No problem," she said as she stood up and gave Jasper a kiss before walking to the front door. "What time should I tell Bella to expect you this evening?"

"Uh…Seven o'clock?"

"Seven is perfect. I'll let her know." With that, she fluttered out of the apartment.

"I got the dishes," I told Jasper and Emmett.

Jasper nodded and walked out of the kitchen toward his room. Emmett hung around and read the paper while I finished cleaning. Just as I finished putting the last dish away, I turned around to see Emmett walking out of the kitchen with the red folder under his arm.

"Uh hum," I cleared my throat while snickering.

Emmett turned around and looked at me before glancing down at the red folder under his arm.

"Hey…I got a girlfriend who can seriously kick my ass. I need all the help I can get."

He turned and skipped back to his bedroom obviously trying to be funny. For the second time that morning I was left laughing so hard I nearly broke a rib.

***************************************************************************

At six forty-five, I stood in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom. My room was a disaster since I had changed clothes so many times trying to find the right thing to wear. _God when did I become such a fucking chick?_

I finally decided on a pair of dark blue jeans, a black and tan sweater and black shoes. I wasn't even going to stress out over the fact that my hair was sticking out in every possible direction because according to Bella's "Build an Edward Order," she liked it. I sprayed some cologne, threw on my leather jacket, and walked out into the living room.

Emmett had already left to have dinner with Rose, and Jasper emerged from his room at the same time I did.

"So, you all set man?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, I think so."

"It'll be fine, Edward. Just act like this is any other time you have hung out with Bella. Emmett is out for the night, and I'll be going back to Alice and Bella's apartment after our movie, so you shouldn't have any interruptions if you want to come back here afterwards," he said while wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

"Uh…yeah…okay. Thanks man," I said.

Jasper patted me on the back as he headed out the door to pick Alice up at the boutique for their date.

I had still been in the dark as to what to do on our date, but a flyer at the gym that afternoon had caught my eye and I thought it was perfect. I walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed the flowers that I had put in there this afternoon. I didn't want to be cliché, but as I was walking home from the gym, I passed a flower shop and felt that I should do something special for Bella.

I had no idea what kind of flowers to buy, so I asked the florist for her suggestion. She said that sometimes picking a flower is more than just what they look like, but more about what they mean. She gave me a card that listed flowers and their meaning. I scanned the list and immediately decided on the White Violets. I didn't know what the hell they were going to look like, but their meaning was perfect.

When the florist handed me the flowers, I had to admit that they were actually pretty. I mean, if I were a chick, I would have liked them. They were unassuming, unlike roses which are all up in your face with insinuations, and I felt that they fit Bella perfectly.

I locked up my apartment, and made my way down to Bella's apartment. When I got to her door, I froze for a minute and took a deep breath before knocking. Seconds passed before the door swung open revealing Bella. She looked absolutely gorgeous.

I had called her earlier to let her know to dress warmly, so she wasn't dressed extremely revealing or sexy, but she looked fantastic. She was wearing dark boot cut jeans, black boots that had a low heal because I told her we were going to be walking a lot, and a cream-colored fitted sweater that had a slight v-neck to it. Over the top of that, she had a matching cream colored heavier sweater jacket that was tied closed with a belt made of the same material. Her hair was down except for the sides. They were pulled back loosely, held by a clip in the back. She wore just a hint of make-up.

Bella looked…perfect.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi. Bella, you look beautiful."

She looked down and blushed before looking back up at me. "Thanks, you don't look to shabby yourself."

I then remembered the flowers I was holding and I held them up to her. "These are for you. I hope you like them. The lady in the flower shop told me what they mean, and I thought they were fitting."

"Oh? They are really beautiful, thank you, Edward," she said as she placed them in a vase on the table. "What do they mea…"

"Hey, Bella," I cut her off, "are you going to be warm enough with just that sweater on, or do you need a jacket?"

"I should be okay with this. It's pretty heavy."

"Okay then. Let's get going." I held the door open for Bella, and she walked out ahead of me.

After she locked her door, we headed to the elevators. When the elevator door opened, I put my hand on the small of her back to lead her in before me. Once inside, Bella looked up at me shyly.

"Um, Edward?"

"Yes?" I said as I looked at her.

"What do those flowers mean?"

I looked down at the floor, ran my fingers threw my hair, and took a deep breath before meeting Bella's eyes.

I reached out, and held Bella's hand in mine, and said, "They mean 'let's take a chance.'"

***************************************************************************

After driving for about fifteen minutes, I found a spot on the street and parked. I got out quickly and ran to the other side of the car to open Bella's door for her. I offered my hand and she took it as she got out of the car.

"So what is it that we are doing?" she asked enthusiastically.

"We are going to the Italian Festival. Is that cool with you?"

"Oh, the big street festival? I love that! Alice and I used to go but we haven't been in a few years. I'm so excited!"

Thank goodness, she was down with this idea. I had been stressing in the car that maybe it was too cold, too much walking, too many people, and she wouldn't have a good time. It was a relief to hear her excitement.

We walked up the street and turned down the block that had been barricaded off for the festival. There was a sea of people, and we were immediately hit with the aromas of all the food vendors. There were lights strung between the vendor tents, and music was playing.

We decided to walk the entire length of the festival block before we committed to where we wanted to eat since there was so much to choose from.

"Everything smells so good. I don't know how we are going to decide," Bella shouted to me over the music and crowd.

"I know," I yelled back. We were weaving through such a thick crowd of people I was afraid I was going to lose her. I wanted to reach out and hold her hand but I was afraid she would find that too forward, and to be honest I was feeling nervous about it. I was never nervous about making the first move in any sense of the term, but this girl turned my stomach upside down.

After walking, talking, and looking at all the crafts that vendors were selling, I suggested to her that maybe we should go into one of the restaurants to eat rather than to one of the street vendors so we could have a little quiet time. She agreed.

"I actually know the best little Italian restaurant on this block. Its family run and the food is incredible," she said to me.

"Lead the way," I said as I followed close behind her.

When we got to the restaurant, Bella gave our name and we were told there would just be a brief wait while they cleared a table for us. While we were standing there waiting by the Maître d', a group of people were leaving. As I stood behind her, I placed my hands on her hips to gently move us out of their way. Immediately, Bella melted back into my chest, so I wrapped my arms around her, settling them against her stomach as I rested my chin on the top of her head. She brought her hands up to cover mine and I heard her sigh out, "This is nice."

I had to agree…it was.

We were seated shortly after and immediately ordered an appetizer called Mozzarella en Carozza, which was Mozzarella between bread, egg battered and deep fried, and served with a spicy tomato sauce…_I know, healthy right? But so fucking good._

For our entrees, we were both looking at getting the same thing, but we decided to each order something different so we could share. Bella ordered the Mushroom Ravioli and I ordered the Filet Mignon and Shrimp Scampi combo. I also ordered us a bottle of Pinot Noir.

After our wine was served, Bella took a sip and looked up at me.

"I'm having a really nice time, Edward. I have to say I am really glad that you asked me out tonight," she said as she blushed slightly and then looked back down at her wine glass.

I reached across the table, placed my finger under her chin, and tilted her head up so her eyes met mine.

"And I'm really glad you said yes."

Our eyes stayed locked as she smiled and I couldn't help but smile in return.

The conversation during dinner flowed so easily. I couldn't believe how comfortable we were around each other. All those tense, awkward moments we had in the past seemed to fly right out the window. I guess once you break down the wall and start accepting the attraction you feel towards another person instead of fighting against it, you have no reason to feel any tension.

We each told stories to about our childhood. That led to several rounds of laughter from both of us. We even told each other war stories from our experiences living with Alice…those definitely merited the most laughs of the evening.

By the time I paid the bill and we got up to leave, my feelings for Bella had intensified to a whole new level. I was still a little nervous about feeling so much for a girl who wasn't Tanya, but at the same time it just felt right. For the past year, I had been breathing nothing but dirty, stagnant air. Bella was definitely the breath of fresh air that I so horribly needed.

When we walked out of the restaurant I grabbed Bella's hand, brought it up to my lips, and kissed it.

She looked at me sweetly and smiled. "What was that for?"

"For making me smile for the first time in a long time and actually meaning it," I said.

"Well in that case," she said as she reached down, grabbed my hand, brought it up to her lips, and kissed it. "Same goes for me."

We let our hands fall between us, still joined as we walked back down the street.

"Hey Bella, how about I win you a prize?" I offered as we came upon a game booth.

I pulled her over in the direction of the game. I handed the guy some money in exchange for three softballs. It was one of those games where you have to knock down all of the stacked items. I knew the bottom ones were rigged with weights so they were nearly impossible to knock down, but I was determined to win something for her. I was the pitcher on my high school varsity baseball team, and the firehouse had a league that I played on, so this was a piece of cake.

I threw the first ball and knocked them all down no problem.

"You can stop now and take a small prize or go for all three. If you make all three you get a top shelf item. If you miss any of the next two throws, you win nothing. You want to risk it? Just take the small prize," the pimply teenager informed me through the microphone headset he was wearing. _I mean really? I was standing right there and no one else was playing. Did he really need to talk through a microphone?_

I didn't even answer him. I took my next two shots consecutively, knocking down every last bottle. I looked up at the kid and said, "Does that answer your question?"

"Which one do you want?" he asked as he rolled his eyes at me.

I looked at Bella, "Go ahead and pick whichever one you want."

She looked up at the stuffed animals that were hanging towards the top of the trailer, deliberating which one she was going to pick.

"I'll take that one," she said as she pointed.

"The wolf?" I asked kind of surprised because it wasn't really the cutest one. If I were a chick I would have probably picked the pink Teddy Bear or something. _What? Shut up!_

"I come from a small town on the Olympic Peninsula and we have wolves around. I guess it just sort of reminds me of home."

I shrugged. "You heard the lady. Give her the wolf."

After the kid handed Bella her wolf, we started making our way back down the street towards where we had entered. I stopped briefly to buy us a bag full of Zeppoli to share. They are little fried balls of dough that are sprinkled with powdered sugar. You _cannot_ go to an Italian Festival and not get them. They are the fucking bomb diggity!

As we got closer to the car, I looked over at Bella and laughed.

"What?" she asked almost defensively to me.

"Nothing, it's just that you have powdered sugar all around your mouth," I said in between chuckles.

She tried rubbing it but only got a little off in the process.

"Good?" she said looking at me.

"No, wait come here, let me do it."

I faced Bella on the street right beside my car and put one hand on her cheek. With the other hand I rubbed my thumb around her mouth to get the powder off. After some time, I realized that I was still rubbing her lips long after all the powder had been removed. Bella hadn't said anything to stop me.

We were standing there gazing at each other as my thumb traced over her lips. Then Bella closed her eyes and started to lean in toward me. I was just about to move in when a police cruiser sped by with its sirens blasting.

"Shit!" We both said as we jumped away from each other, startled.

My hand slowly dropped from her face, and I reached for the handle of the passenger side door and opened it for Bella. She gave me one last look, took a deep breath, and got in the car. I shut the door and walked back around to the driver's side, started the car, and made my way back toward home.

***************************************************************************

I pulled into the parking lot of our apartment building and parked. After opening Bella's door we made our way inside and to the elevator. When we got into the elevator, I pressed the button to my floor and stepped back. Bella seemed to hesitate and then stepped forward with her finger pointed to hit the button for her floor. I reached out and grabbed her wrist before she had a chance. I leaned into her and spoke softly into her ear.

"Don't," I said. "It's still early. Why don't you come back to my place and have a drink?"

Her posture seemed to straighten and she froze for a minute. Then she relaxed and without looking up at me she whispered, "Okay."

We walked out of the elevator and toward my apartment. I unlocked the door and held it open for Bella as she walked in before me. I closed the door and then took Bella's heavy sweater from her.

"Have a seat. What can I get you to drink?"

She bit her lip and thought aloud. "Uh…you got beer?" she asked.

I chuckled. "Bella, three dudes live here. Of course we have beer." I walked into the kitchen to grab two out of the fridge.

"It's funny," she called out. "I've been in this apartment a million times before, heck I even have a key for it, but this is the first time I've really felt like a guest here. It feels a little formal because we are on a date."

I walked back into the room and handed Bella her beer. "Please don't feel formal just because you are here with me. I want you to be as comfortable here as you always are."

I nodded toward the couch and motioned for Bella to have a seat. We both sat down and took sips from our beer.

"I hope you had a good time tonight," I said before taking another swig of my beer.

"I did, I really did, Edward. Thank you so much for dinner and the stuffed wolf you won for me. Mostly, thank you for the wonderful company."

I smiled at her.

"Do they have festivals like that in Chicago?"

"Oh yeah! Of course they do. That's what made me think it would be a fun thing for us to do tonight when I saw the flyer for it. My parents used to take Alice and me to them all the time when we were growing up. There was a really good Polish Festival that I used to go to all the time with Tan...with friends."

I quickly looked down at my beer bottle and started peeling the label off the front. As if sensing my unease, Bella put her hand on my knee.

"Hey Edward," she said softly. "I don't mean to pry. I don't know too much about your life in Chicago, but I have heard a little here and there about you from Alice over the years. I know there was a major reason why you moved out here to Seattle, although even Alice has always been reluctant to talk about it." She then took a deep breath before continuing. "Edward, what happened between you and Tanya?"

My heart ached at the mere sound of her name being spoken. I froze in place as I continued looking down at the beer bottle in my lap. Well there it was…the million-dollar question. The one I had been dreading being brought up here. I didn't really have to talk about it back in Chicago because everyone who knew me already knew the whole story, but I knew it was only a matter of time before people in Seattle started asking me questions about my past and it would eventually come up sooner or later.

I was having such a great time with Bella that I really didn't want to ruin the rest of our date, for me or for her, by getting into all this now.

I probably waited too long not saying anything because the next thing I knew Bella buried her face in her hands.

"God, I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have asked you about this. It's obviously not something you want to talk about, and I should learn to just mind my own damn business. I'm stupid, stupid, stupid!"

God…I couldn't let Bella think that she had done something wrong by asking me a question.

I turned toward her and reached both hands out to grab her hands away from her face. I rested our joined hands gently down into her lap.

"Bella, you are not stupid and you did nothing wrong. I want you to feel free to ask me anything, whenever you want to. I owe you an answer to that question. You trusted me enough and were honest with me when you told me about your whole Jacob situation. I promise you Bella, I will tell you the whole story…just not right now, okay? I left Chicago trying to escape everything and I am just not ready to open that can of worms yet. Can you please give me a little time?"

Her eyes softened and she squeezed my hands a little tighter. "Of course, Edward, I completely understand. It's really hard for me to talk about the Jacob situation, and I still find myself not able to do it when my co-workers bring it up. There was even a time over the summer when I contemplated the idea of moving away from Seattle because I can't imagine what the day will be like if and when I ever run into him and that girl. I will wait as long as you need, and when you are ready to tell me I'll be here."

I squeezed her hands and gave her a smile that I hope conveyed to her how much what she just said meant to me.

Just then, my cell phone beeped, indicating that my battery was dying. "I'll be right back Bella, I'm just going to throw my phone on the charger," I said as I stood up and walked toward my room.

I walked over to my nightstand and plugged my phone in before setting it down. I stood there for a moment trying to collect my thoughts. I didn't want the conversation I just had with Bella to mess with my head and spoil the remainder of the evening. I was having such a good night with Bella that I didn't want my own issues to ruin our time together.

When I felt myself relax again, I turned on my heel and took a step forward before stopping short. There in my doorway, leaning against the frame was Bella. It didn't escape my attention that she had removed the clip from her hair letting the curls fall softly around her shoulders.

"Hi," she said in a small voice while a sweet smile spread across her face.

My mouth crept up into my famous crooked smile. "Hey," I said back.

We stood there just staring at each other. I debated what I should do. I knew what I wanted to do, but were we really ready for this? I knew we had almost kissed before when we were standing outside my car, but now we were in my bedroom. I spent the last couple of months fighting every thought and urge I had for this woman, and it had always been the wrong choice. The only thing that I found that felt right was when I followed my instinct with her.

Without another thought, I took three steps across the room and stood in front of her. I put my hands on her shoulders and she immediately stood straight up, no longer leaning on the frame. I pulled her in a few steps and then moved her over so she was now leaning up against the wall to the right of my door. My eyes never left hers as I kept my right hand on her shoulder while my left hand reached out, closed the door, and locked it. I flattened my palms against the wall on either side of her head.

Bella was looking into my eyes and chewing on her bottom lip nervously.

I reached down and brushed my thumb over her lips to stop her.

"Don't," I said. "Those lips are far too pretty for you to be chewing on them."

I then moved my hand up along her jaw to cradle her cheek. We were both breathing shallowly by now. I looked at her for one last moment before I finally leaned in and our lips met.

I had been right about Bella. Her lips and her kisses were so soft and sensual. We kissed slowly and chastely at first, but then she parted her lips slightly and I slid my tongue into her mouth. She met my tongue with her own and we just let them gently become acquainted with each other.

The next thing I knew, Bella's hands lifted up from where they were hanging at her sides and snaked around my waist. She held them there for a moment before gliding them around my back. She pressed her body closer to mine as she hugged me and our kiss became more intense. Our tongues started battling for dominance. My hands ran up from her face and into her hair. My hands roamed down her neck and back, ending just above the swell of her ass.

All of a sudden I felt her little body push into mine, trying to move me backwards toward the bed.

I pulled my face back from her lips. "Bella, are you sure?" I didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't ready for, and as much as I wanted to be with her, I didn't know if I was ready yet either. Empty sex is one thing, but I knew it would never just be sex with her. With Bella, it would be making love, and I didn't know if I was mentally ready for that.

"Edward, I know we are going to take things slow. I just want to be close to you right now. We can be intimate right now without having sex."

I immediately crashed my lips back to hers and spun her around so I was now the one facing my bed. I walked slowly and when the back of her knees hit my mattress, I slowly lowered her onto the bed with my hand never leaving the back of her head until it was gently placed on my pillow.

I crawled onto the bed, my knees straddling her hips, and hovered over her. She slid her hands up my chest, over my shoulders, up the back of my neck and then into my hair before pushing my head down so I could meet her lips again. Immediately, our kiss was intense. Our tongues met again and she tasted phenomenal. She kept her hands in my hair and was running her fingers through it roughly. I was trying not to rest all my weight on her, so I leaned on my left elbow. My right hand started to run up and down her side. I ran it from the side swell of her tit, down the side of her ribcage, onto her hip and then her upper thigh, and back up again. I made this sweep with my hand several times when on my last journey back up I slipped my hand under her shirt.

The backs of my fingertips grazed up the soft skin of her stomach causing her to shiver from the sensation. I inched slowly up her torso until I felt the satiny fabric of her bra. I turned my hand over so that it was flat on her ribs and ran it up and over her swell. I rubbed a few times over her bra before I pushed the fabric up and out of the way. I ran my hand back over her exposed tits and pinched her nipple.

Bella gasped and then moaned into my mouth. It was the single most erotic sound I had ever heard. Her lips attacked mine as she reached out and grabbed the hand supporting my weight causing me to lower my body on hers completely. She started grinding her hips into mine and it was my turn to moan into her mouth. She pulled her hand out of mine, wrapped it around me, and grabbed my ass. She then hitched one of her legs around my waist and continued moving her hips.

I started matching her movements with my hips while continuing to rub her tits.

After a few minutes of this, I felt Bella shift and the next thing I knew her hands were snaking in between us trying to unbutton my jeans.

I jerked my head back. "Bella, what are you doing?"

"Edward, just because we aren't going to have sex doesn't mean we can't do other stuff," she said through hooded eyes. "So just shut up and kiss me."

_Yes ma'am!_

We started kissing again and Bella unbuttoned my jeans and slowly pulled the zipper down. I wrapped my arm around her waist and rolled us over on to our sides. She grazed her hand up and down my stomach before stopping at the top of my boxer shorts. She boldly slid her hands behind the elastic and down inside. When she finally reached my dick, she wrapped her little hand around it and then gasped.

I then, felt her smile against my mouth. "God, Edward, if I had only known, I would have aimed even higher in my _McBuild-An-Edward_," she giggled again.

I mentally high fived myself.

I looked down at her, smiled, and just shook my head. "Never underestimate a Cullen," I said feeling all sorts of cocky…pun intended!

"Who knew nine inches would be an underestimation," she said in a sultry voice before kissing me again.

She took her thumb and rubbed it over the tip, gathering the moisture pooled there before descending down my shaft. She began to run her hand slowly up and down my cock; almost painfully slow. It felt so fucking good that I was scared I was going to bust a nut right then and there.

I had to concentrate on something else so I wouldn't be solely focusing on the way this beautiful woman was working my hard on skillfully.

I knew just the perfect distraction.

I thought about removing her shirt at first, but I was afraid that once clothing started being removed, neither one of us would have the resolve to not start humping like fucking bunnies.

So clothes had to stay on…this time.

I ran my hand down her sides to her waist and then across her stomach until I found the button of her jeans. In one swift flick the button was undone and the zipper was down.

Bella laughed. "Had much practice doing that?" she joked.

I gave her a cocky smile and said, "Shut up and kiss me."

Boy did she ever.

I slid my hands down into her panties. I almost came again when I felt that Bella was completely bare! _Could this girl get any fucking hotter?_

I rubbed her outside at first, just giving her some friction before slipping my finger in between her folds over her swollen clit. Bella gasped and bucked herself into me. She then started stroking my dick faster, so I knew I hit the sweet spot. She was soaking wet and that just made my already rock hard dick get even harder knowing that I had made her this way.

I continued to rub her clit with my thumb while plunging two fingers into her. I started pumping my fingers inside her. She moaned and then tightened her grip slightly on my cock and worked it a little bit faster. We were matching each other move for move. If she slowed down, I slowed down a bit. If she sped up, I sped up.

I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer, and from the sounds Bella was making I didn't think she would be able to either.

I finally plunged a third finger into her, and after a few more pumps, I felt Bella contract around my finger and moan out my name.

"Oh God… Edward…mmm."

Scratch what I said before. _This_ was the single most erotic sound I had ever heard!

She had stopped moving her hand on my dick momentarily, but as soon as she rode out her last wave and caught her breath, she roughly pushed me onto my back and pulled my dick completely out of my pants. She continued to work me while she leaned over me from the side and kissed me deeply and passionately. She grabbed my hand, slid it under her shirt, and placed it over her tit.

Seeing Bella take such control totally turned me on even more and after a few more pumps of her fist I warned her that I was going to come.

She reached down with her free hand and pulled my shirt up so that I wouldn't shoot all over my clothes, and then I came…HARD.

"God, Bella… Feels. So. Fucking. Good."

When my own personal fire hose finally shut off, I threw one arm over my eyes to calm my breathing and took my other arm that was closest to Bella and I wrapped it around her and pulled her in close to my side. I felt her rest her head on my chest and we both lay there breathing heavily.

When my breathing steadied, I took my arm off my eyes and I peered down at her, seeing just the top of her head.

"Hey," I said to her in a quiet voice.

She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and smiled, and I leaned down and kissed her on the tip of her nose.

She rolled on to her stomach and propped herself up on her forearms across my chest. "That is the hottest thing I have done with all my clothes on in a long time," she chuckled.

"Yeah, well just wait and see how hot it will be when all our clothes are off," I said to her as I quirked my eyebrow.

She starting biting her lip again and stared at me lustfully.

Suddenly, Bella sat up and scooted off the bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked as I reached out to grab her playfully, but missed.

"I'm just going to get something to clean you up with," she retorted as she grabbed the towel I had used when I showered earlier off the back of my desk chair. She walked back over, sat down on the bed next to me, and wiped my stomach clean.

"Next time I have a feeling that there will be no reason to have to clean up your stomach afterwards," she said as color filled her cheeks.

I looked at her in shock, my mouth just hanging open in awe. How could this girl say and do the things she did and then still blush and be shy about it? What a fucking turn on it was. She was remarkable.

Bella peeked up at me and then said, "I should probably go home now."

I tried to convey through my gaze that she didn't have to leave if she didn't want to. I was not the kind of guy to be intimate with a girl and then send her packing. Especially not with Bella, she was special.

She definitely seemed to understand what I was trying to express because she put her hand up to my face and cupped my cheek. "I would love nothing more than to stay here and sleep in your arms tonight, Edward, but I think that for tonight it is best if I go home."

I nodded in understanding and got out of bed. I fixed my pants, as did Bella, and I bent down to put on the shoes that I hadn't even realized that I kicked off.

"Why are you putting your shoes back on?" Bella asked me.

"I'm walking you home."

"Edward, that's silly. I live in the same building. I just have to go down the elevator a few floors."

"Bella, when I take a woman out on a date, I pick her up and drop her back off. Door to door service, my dear. My momma raised me well."

Bella giggled and then took my hand. We walked out of my room, through the apartment and out the front door to the elevator. When the elevator door opened, we both stepped in and I pulled Bella into my chest, wrapping my arms around her.

She wound her arms around my waist and rested her head into my chest while I rested my chin on the top of her head. We stood that way without saying a word the entire elevator ride down to her floor.

When the bell chimed and the door opened, we both let out a little sigh of annoyance.

We reluctantly let go of each other and walked out of the elevator hand in hand.

When we got to her door, she turned to face me.

"Edward, I had such an amazing time tonight. I couldn't imagine a more perfect first date."

She dropped her eyes toward the floor and when she looked back up at me, a single tear ran down her cheek.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I took both of my hands and cradled her face. I stared down into her eyes as I used my thumb to wipe the tear from her cheek.

"No, thank _you,_ Bella," I said back to her.

I knew that Bella wasn't just thanking me for the date. She was thanking me for the same reason I was thanking her. It was for helping to chip away some of the pain that we had both been carrying around for way too long now. It was for showing each other that there was a light at the end of the tunnel we had been walking in for so long. It was for making each other smile and laugh so much tonight and not having to fake it. Most importantly, it was for showing each other that it was possible to find happiness in another person no matter how much we still had issues with our pasts.

I leaned down and gave Bella a very soft, chaste kiss to her lips. I held still for a moment before breaking it and pulling back.

"Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward."

I waited in the hallway until Bella was inside her apartment and I heard the lock click.

I turned and headed back towards the elevator and got on, hitting the button for my floor.

I replayed the events of the evening in my head, and I knew that I had been so wrong all these months when I tried to stay just friends with Bella. I realized I had my issues to work through. I still loved Tanya, but Bella was finally helping me to see that I really could start over. I thought that moving to Seattle was a cop out; that I was really just running away from my problems and putting a Band-Aid over the issue instead of dealing with it. I was now beginning to understand why Alice had pushed for so long to have me come out here.

I wasn't running away from my old life, I was just allowing myself to start a new one.

************************************************************************************

**A/N – We hope you enjoyed their first date. Please go over to our profile page and click on the link to join The Sandbox. **

**FYI-I did indeed find on a website that said White Violets mean "Let's Take a Chance" so please don't tell me that I made that shit up because you looked it up somewhere and it gave a different meaning. I am sure you could find numerous meanings for it, but I am going with what I found...LOL!**

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**Holly and I also like to pimp out stories that we are reading that we enjoy. Check out Bitter Sweet Symphonies by I'mwiththevampires08. It's a very sexy story and a lot of fun to read. http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4524712/1/**

**I just needed to give a fist pump right now for the NY Yankees. They just won the playoffs and they are going to the World Series!!!**

**As always please leave us some love and review. We read each and every one of them and respond to them all as well.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: We hope you all had a wonderful Halloween! We went to a party- Pauline dressed as Bella & I was a ladybug. Want to see what we looked like? Go into our profile and check out our pic **

**Exciting news! My one-shot entry for the Things That Go Bump in the Night Contest won 3****rd**** Place! If you are interested in reading it, the link is in our profile. My independent pen name is: **_**eddie'sgirl18**_**. I would love to know what you think of it, because Pauline and I have plans to make it into a multi-chapter story!**

**Thanks to Sweet Dulcinea, Keepingupwiththekids, and Dolphin62598- you ladies rock and also help make our writing better!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. However, Pauline and I own the millions of naughty thoughts we have over Rob's new **_**Vanity Fair**_** pictures. Holy Crap, have you seen them? There are no words to describe how beautiful that man truly is. *sigh***

* * *

***BPOV***

This week had been pure hell and I was never so ecstatic that the weekend had finally arrived. Between a couple boys in my class getting into a fist fight during recess on Monday and holding Parent-Teacher conferences for the past two and a half days, I was completely spent. Normally, I never minded meeting with parents, but this year, I had a particularly rough class behaviorally and academically. Having to be conscious of how to phrase my wording to parents was a challenge sometimes.

Then there was Edward. Thinking about our amazing date we shared last Saturday was the only highlight of my week. I hadn't seen him that much since he took on some overtime shifts at the firehouse. However, we did talk on the phone every day, even if it was only to say goodnight to one another.

The way he kissed me and pressed me up against his bedroom wall played like a movie in my head repeatedly. Don't even get me started on what it was like to actually fool around with him. I still couldn't believe how forward I was with Edward, informing him that even though we weren't ready for sex, there were lots of other things we could do to keep us occupied. The mere thought of writhing against his hand as his fingers played me like a fine string instrument, bringing me to the brink of ecstasy and back, had my girly parts tingling as I sat at my desk at work. I lost count of how many times I squirmed in my seat while marking spelling tests as I envisioned Edward climaxing all due to my skilled hand movements. Just thinking of it now had me frustrated and yearning to see him again. Thankfully, I wouldn't have to wait too long, since Edward asked me to hang out with him tomorrow. He had instructed me to clear my calendar for the whole day and the night. To say that I was overjoyed was an understatement. However, I kept those feelings to myself, needing to stay cool for a while.

So here I was on this Friday evening, stripping myself of my work clothes and stepping into the shower. I stayed under the spray of the steaming water longer than usual, letting it wash away the stress of my week. When I felt I was good and relaxed, I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping myself in my bath towel.

I sauntered into my room and glanced at my alarm clock on the night table, noticing that it was only six o'clock. Alice wasn't due to be home for another hour, so I decided to clean up the living room a little bit. Actually, I was feeling somewhat restless. My shower had awakened my senses, and I had some pent up energy that desperately wanted to break free. I knew this mood. I needed to blast the music, dance around while I picked up some odds and ends that were scattered about, and do some other polishing and cleaning.

With an intense feeling of determination, I changed into a pair of white boy shorts and a light blue fitted tank top, which looked more like a sports bra, considering it showed off my bare midriff. Without bothering to peek in the mirror, I gathered my wet hair into a messing bun atop my head. I made my way into the kitchen, opened the cabinet under the sink, and bent down to gather the necessary cleaning items. Practically skipping down the hall to the living room, I made my way over to my iPod docking station and chose the playlist for this exact moment. I turned up the volume in anticipation.

As the guitar solo of the James song, _Laid_, rifted into the room, I immediately started to bob my head from side to side, walking toward the couch. Once the drums kicked in, I tapped my hands against the throw pillows in time with the beat.

_This bed is on fire with passionate love__  
__The neighbors complain about the noises above__  
__But she only comes when she's on top_

I swayed my hips and dipped low to the floor, holding on to the coffee table for support. I slowly came up and bent over, shaking my ass in the air, as I sprayed some lemon _Pledge_ on the table, and used a rag to polish the dust away. Gliding the rag along the table top in sync with the beat of the song, the lower half of my body took on a mind of its own, my hips thrusting in the air.

_The therapist said not to see you no more__  
__She said you're like a disease without any cure__  
__She said I'm so obsessed that I'm becoming a bore_

_Oh, no_

I stood up straight, getting ready for the next line of the song by swinging the dust rag in the air while spinning and shimmying my breasts.

_Ah you think you're so pretty_

Feeling bold and empowered by the upbeat song, I sashayed over to the windows, glass cleaner in hand, and looked out into the night skyline. I continued my dance routine by lightly grasping the curtains to move them aside, jutting my ass out, and shaking it like no one's business while I splattered the windows with some _Windex_. As the blue liquid dripped down the pane in streaks, I furiously wiped them away. Deciding that the windows were thoroughly cleaned, I twirled around and began lip-syncing the song, using the _Windex_ bottle as a microphone.

_Caught your hand inside the till__  
__Slammed your fingers in the door__  
__Fought with kitchen knives and skewers__  
__Dressed me up in women's clothes__  
__Messed around with gender roles__  
__Line my eyes and call me pretty_

Closing my eyes and turning around, I was in my own world, gliding my free hand along my stomach, up around my ribcage, and over my breasts until I reached my neck. Dropping the spray bottle to the floor with a thump, I ran my hands up the sides of my neck and into my hair, where I decided to pull off my hair tie, allowing my damp, wavy hair to rain down over my shoulders.

_Moved out of the house so you moved next door__  
__I locked you out you cut a hole in the wall__  
__I found you sleeping next to me I thought I was alone__  
__You're driving me crazy when are you coming home_

_Pretty_

_Pretty_

When the last drum solo began to burst through the speakers, I pounded my fists in the air and shook my head wildly, my hair flying about in all directions. As the song ended abruptly, I stopped dancing and shot my head up in time with the song's end.

It was then that I was met with three pairs of eyes, watching me with wonderment.

_Fuck. My. Life._

I wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and not come out until next year.

First, there was Emmett, who was leaning up against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed. His eyes glistened with tears as his laughter vibrated throughout his whole body, making it seem as though he was convulsing.

Then there was Alice, eyes squinting with amusement as she was covering her mouth. I knew she was trying to hold in her giggles, for she most likely felt my embarrassment.

Lastly, there stood Edward, eyes wide and dare I say a little…dark? They were trying to convey something to me, but I wasn't sure if it was disgust or adoration. His mouth was slightly open as he just stared back at me. Alice glanced in his direction, reached her hand out, placed it under his chin, and gently pushed his mouth closed. Edward shook his head slightly. Maybe he was trying to erase the image of me. God knows I was trying to erase this very moment.

As AC/DC's, _Shook Me All Night Long_, began to replace the silence in the room, I shot to my iPod and turned it off quickly. This only made Emmett double over in hysterics. Alice and Edward were still standing there, Alice looking at Edward, and Edward looking dumbfounded, running a hand through his hair as though he wanted to say something.

I needed to leave and retreat to my own sanctuary before I would start to cry from mortification. I stood up straight, puffed my chest out, and slapped my hands on my hips.

"What?" I glared at Emmett, whose laughter ceased immediately upon meeting my angry looking face. I turned slightly toward Alice to stare her down. I avoided Edward's gaze completely, as I'm sure he thought there was something mentally wrong with me and never wanted to be near me again. Oh God, I was going to cry any second.

I feigned confidence, plastering a fake smile on my face and standing tall. Running from the room crying would give them material to pick on me for weeks to come.

"Oh, I suppose you never danced around in your underwear? You never had the urge to shake what your mama gave ya?" I shimmied my upper body to boot. With that, I strutted out of the living room, but not without punching Emmett in the shoulder first, garnering a loud, "Ow!" from him.

Once I made it to the hallway, I practically ran into my bedroom and slammed my door in frustration. Why did I have to do the most idiotic things in front of Edward? Why couldn't I have been draped sexily across the couch reading a book or something? No, I had to prance about the apartment looking as if I just took a hit of acid. I plopped on my bed, landing on my stomach and burying my head in my pillows.

A few seconds later, I heard a hesitant knock on my door. _Alice, no doubt_.

I shot up quickly and opened the door a smidge, leaving Alice to have to open the door fully on her own. I turned around to head back to sulk on my bed, taking my hair tie from my wrist to fasten a messy bun back on my head.

"Jesus, Alice, I think I am going to die of embarrassment. I feel like vomiting right now. Did you see the look on Ed…"

I wasn't able to finish my thought, as two very strong hands gripped my waist, causing me to rise from the floor a bit. I yelped in surprise when I was suddenly spun around and pressed up against the wall face to face with Edward.

Yeah, so it turned out it wasn't Alice.

"That, by far, was the sexist cleaning job I have ever witnessed. I am so fucking happy that Alice didn't stop at the drive-thru for Emmett. I would have missed your…performance. You know, I have some windows that desperately need to be washed. Are you and these shorts available next week?" Edward chuckled softly into my ear, bunching the fabric of my shorts in his fist. He lunged his body toward mine, making my pelvis become acquainted with his very prominent hard-on. His hands started to roam the sides of my ribcage, gliding up to the sides of my breasts.

Not that I'm complaining or anything, but Edward clearly had a thing for pressing me up against walls. _Hmm…I wonder what else we could be doing up against a wall?_

I stole a peek at his face, and his eyes met mine. They were sparkling with amusement as he grinned crookedly at me, making me melt. "So, can I make that appointment?" he asked again, as he cocked an eyebrow at me, his fingers creating swirly patterns on my bare stomach.

"Um, I-I'll have to check my…um, schedule," I stuttered, glued to my spot and unable to tear my eyes away from his gaze. His hands were also tickling my sides. "You know, I am in demand, and there are people in line ahead of you. How about I'll call you when a spot opens?" I tilted my head, a coy smile playing on my face, and I moved my hands over his blue work shirt, along the hard planes of his chest. I had been itching to touch him.

Edward growled and crushed his lips against mine. Immediately, I opened my mouth to allow his tongue to mingle with mine. It had been a week since I kissed him and I was a very thirsty woman needing his hands, his tongue, and his body to quench it. I moaned in appreciation as his hands ghosted over to my ass, squeezing it roughly.

"I was hoping that you tell those other fuckers that you will no longer be lending out your cleaning services," he said seductively, his lips grazing my ear, eliciting a shudder from me.

"Yes, well, I seem to have a new client who would like to test me out. You should really see my routine to _Hot and Cold_ by Katy Perry," I whispered, leaning in to softly kiss and suck on the spot right underneath his ear.

"Bella, that client had damn well better be me," he warned, scanning the length of my body with his piercing stare. "Otherwise, someone is going to get a serious ass kicking from one very jealous fireman." Edward picked me up and I instantly wrapped my legs around him as he brought us over to my bed. He set me down first and took a seat next to me.

"I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you were working tonight."

"Well, I was until Emmett thought I was working myself into the ground, so he asked someone to cover my shift." He shifted his body toward me and began to rub my thighs. "So, do you want to grab a bite to eat…maybe catch a movie with me?"

"I'd love to, Edward," I started and then looked at him hesitantly, tucking some fly away strands of hair behind my ears. "Do you mind if we hang here or something? I wouldn't mind cooking us some dinner. I'm so drained from my hellish week, but I really want to hang out with you. We could even dress in sweats or something equally comfortable. I believe Alice and Jasper have plans tonight, so we'll have the place to ourselves. So how about it?" I dropped my hands to cover his, which were taking up residence on my knees. I strongly fought the urge to push his hands in between my legs. The rubbing along my thighs was making me little wet.

"That sounds like a fantastic idea, Bella," he said, flashing me the brightest smile. "How about this- I'll go up to my place, get cleaned up, and grab some six packs for us to enjoy."

He leaned in to give me a chaste kiss, but I wanted more, so I grabbed onto the nape of his neck, pulling the hair there, to deepen the kiss. It was Edward's turn to moan while tilting his head and raking his hands along my back. All too soon, he broke the kiss. I mocked sadness by jutting out my lower lip and crossing my arms.

Edward used his finger to push my lip back into place. "Stop that, you! As much as I would love to keep on kissing you right now, Bella, I really am in need of a shower. I'm all grimy from a restaurant kitchen fire call earlier."

"Okay," I said shyly. "Why don't you come over in, let's say…an hour?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then." With that, Edward sprung himself from his spot on my bed, winked at me, and walked out the door.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I decided to make us a tasty pizza from scratch. I had my Grandma Swan's piecrust recipe and thought it would be a fabulous way to showcase my cooking abilities to Edward. I hated to toot my own horn, but damn, I knew my way around a kitchen. I wanted to impress Edward.

Upon coming to the realization that I shouldn't be scantily clad when Edward arrived, I put on my navy blue lace bra and matching thong and covered that up with a pair of black yoga pants and a red fitted tank top. Hey, even though we were dressing comfortably, I still wanted to be sexy for my man. Well, he wasn't really mine…yet.

Hoping that tonight Edward and I could learn more about each other, I thought having a picnic dinner would be intimate enough to spark some conversation between us. I knew the basics about him, but I wanted to know everything. Not to mention, I wanted to share information about myself with Edward.

While I preparing the pizza crust, I opened up a bottle of Merlot and began to cut up mushrooms for the topping. Thankfully, there was pepperoni already in the freezer and we also had fresh mozzarella in the fridge. Alice and I always made it a point to keep these items in stock because when the colder months came around, I tended to make pizza a lot. Alice and Jasper loved my pies, so there were no complaints.

At ten after seven, Edward knocked on the door with two six-packs of beer in hand. He looked so adorable wearing plaid flannel pajama bottoms and a black t-shirt that accentuated his chest and arm muscles. _Mmm…yummy!_

I returned to slicing the mushrooms up, while Edward placed the six-packs in the refrigerator. "Would you like a beer?" he offered as he pulled one out for himself.

"Actually, I think I'll stick with wine for now," I stated, nodding my head in the direction of my wine on the counter.

I was almost done cutting the mushrooms when I felt Edward's presence sidle up against my back. He placed his chin on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist. "What are you doing over here?" he inquired.

"Just cutting up some toppings for the pizza I am making from scratch. I hope you like mushroom and pepperoni. Come to think of it, do you even like pizza?" I laughed nervously, turning my head to face his.

"Oh, from scratch, huh? Yes, I love pizza, and before you even ask, I happen to like just about everything on my pizza," Edward stated, kissing me on my cheek.

I flashed him a warm smile and turned my head back to the task at hand. Edward released his hold on me from behind and moved to the living room and surveyed my and Alice's CD collection. "Hey, how do you feel about a little Coldplay?" he called over to me.

"Sounds great. I love them; they're one of my favorite bands," I answered back.

"Really? Mine, too. Who else do you prefer?" Edward sauntered back into the kitchen and leaned up against the counter, watching me transfer my creation to the pizza stone in the oven.

"Let's see," I started, taking a sip of my wine. "Well, U2 comes in at a close second, next to Radiohead and Kings of Leon."

"Wow, great choices. I've always been partial to grunge bands of the nineties," Edward said thoughtfully.

"Well, you're in the right place. Seattle- the origin of grunge."

We moved our discussion to the living room so I could set up for our coffee table picnic. Edward helped me move the couch back a little. We each took a couch cushion to sit on, as we continued to speak of our musical inclinations. I was surprised at how many of the same bands we loved listening to, and I was hoping we would have other things in common.

About half an hour later, we were seated on the floor around the coffee table eating our dinner. "Mmm…oh my god…this pizza is fucking delicious, Bella," Edward moaned as he took another huge bite. By the sounds he was making, I hoped that I could find other ways to make him moan like that again. When I realized that I _did_ make him moan that way last weekend, my face immediately flushed. I knew that my cheeks were beginning to redden.

As if right on cue with my thoughts, Edward said, "You're blushing. Why?"

I cleared my throat, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't cause me major embarrassment. "Um…no reason. I was thinking about how much fun I am having tonight." I looked away from him.

Edward reached over the table, took my chin in his hand, and moved my face so my eyes could be captured by his. "Hey, please don't look away from me, Bella. I'm enjoying myself, too, and I happen to think that blush of yours is absolutely fucking adorable. Tell me, have you always been shy?"

"Yes," I answered, ironically without hesitation, keeping my eyes locked with him. "Ever since I was a little girl. My shyness and my clumsiness went hand in hand."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, when I was a kid, I used to have an issue with stuttering," Edward chuckled.

"Yeah? At least you don't have that problem anymore. I am still clumsy, as you already are aware, and my face will always give me away when I am in a state of sheepishness."

I shot up to clear the table and Edward followed suit. "Stay. I've got it. I'll also bring back a refill for you."

When I came back with another beer for Edward and another glass of wine for me, I noticed that Edward had moved his cushion next to mine. Handing him his beer, I sat down across from him, with my legs crossed, mirroring his position.

"I thought you liked to drink beer," Edward stated.

"I do, but sometimes, I would rather have wine. It relaxes me, and beer can be very filling."

"Hmm…so would you rather get drunk off wine or beer?" he hedged, smirking at me. I had a feeling we were entering the lightening round of questioning. I couldn't wait to get some answers out of him as I began to think what I could ask Edward.

"I guess I would have to say wine. Like I said before, beer is filling and the next day, I always feel like I gained an extra thirty pounds. Wine, however is lighter, but leaves you with a killer headache in the morning. When I set my sights on drinking, I go for vodka."

"Good to know," Edward said, taking a swig of his beer. "I've got another one for you. Peas or carrots?"

"Neither. I prefer to eat broccoli." I took a sip of wine and dove in to ask him a question. "Sports. Do you like watching baseball or football?"

"Ah, good one," Edward quipped. "I used to play baseball in high school and played on a team with my Chicago firehouse buddies, so I would have to go with that. Don't tell Emmett, though. Now that football season is in full swing, he expects Jasper and me to watch the games with him every Sunday."

"No worries. Your secret's safe with me," I winked at Edward, nudging his forearm with my hand. "Anything else you would like to ask me?" I smiled.

"Favorite junk food?" Edward shot back at me.

"Easy, that would be cheese doodles. I'm a sucker for them- it's a sure fire way to my heart," I laughed. "You?"

"Chocolate chip cookies. I can eat a whole batch of them when they are fresh out of the oven. I love dipping them in milk, too."

I covered my mouth as I giggled. That had to be the cutest sight, watching this big, strong guy eat milk and cookies.

Edward leaned in and started to glide his fingers around my abdomen, tickling me. "Oh, you think that's funny, huh?"

"Yes…I do…" I gasped between giggles. "You seemed more like an Oreo guy to me."

He stilled his movements on my stomach, but kept his hands connected to my body by settling them on my hips. His thumbs were rubbing circles around my hipbones, causing a warm sensation throughout my body.

Placing my hands on his knees, I asked another question, feeling a bit bold. "Making out in the back of a movie theater or on a park bench at night?"

Edward smirked and cocked an eyebrow in my direction, his eyes darkening. "Oh, so you want to dive into_ those_ types of questions. Okay, Swan, I'll play, but you have to be prepared to answer whatever I throw at you."

"Go ahead. I'm not scared of you," I quipped. "But answer my question first."

"I would have to say the park bench. It gives me and whomever I'm with room to move around a bit. Those movie theater seats can be very confining," he answered thoughtfully.

I rose to my knees, leaned in toward Edward, straddling him and placing my hands on his shoulders.

"So, if you were with me, you would rather us go at it on a park bench because there would be more freedom to move about? I feel the same way because one would never be able to do this on a theater seat."

"Uh huh," was all he offered as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down, swallowing thickly.

I ghosted my lips against his ear and whispered, "That's good to know, Edward." I flicked his earlobe with my tongue and retreated from his lap, settling back on my own seat, leaving him with a shocked expression on his face.

Edward quickly recovered as he fired his next question at me. "Do you have any tattoos in any…special areas?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

"Nope, but I would love to get one right here sometime soon." I sat up on my knees, pulled down the right side of my yoga pants, revealing part of my lace thong, and then proceeded to pull down said thong and lowered them until I hit the desired area and pointed to a few inches below my hipbone.

Edward was following my every movement, leaning in to take a closer look. I could tell I was turning him on by the way he couldn't take his eyes off my bare, uncovered area. He replaced my fingers with his and began to trace feather light circles over my skin. I shivered in response.

"That's a fucking sweet spot to get one. I bet it would look hot on you, too."

"What about you? Are there any tattoos lurking underneath your clothing?" I asked.

Edward started to take off his shirt on his left side and pointed to the side of his shoulder. "Yup. Right here. I know it's not very original, but it was important for me to mark my body with it. I'm proud of what I do."

Edward turned his upper body in my direction so I could examine the tattoo. I had seen him last week without his shirt on and I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed it then. Extending my arm, I ran my fingers over the black outline of a fire helmet, traced the shield with his badge number on the hat, and brushed over the red and orange flames that were encompassing the helmet. On the rim of the fire helmet rested a four-leaf clover, symbolizing his heritage, I assumed. The design was beautiful and looked so sexy on him.

Edward's eyes were closed as my fingers traveled over the intricate design of the flames. His breathing hitched a little as he stated softly, "I love your touch, Bella. It's so soothing."

"Yeah? Good. I aim to please, Edward." He opened his eyes at that response and placed his hands on my knees.

"Oh, you do, Bella, you do."

"Okay, my turn to ask you something." I surveyed the sight before me and a plan formed instantly. "Edward, would you rather you take off your shirt, or do you want me to do it?"

He smirked and answered immediately. "I want you to take my shirt off."

I leaned in closer and pulled the shirt up, purposely grazing his nipples, causing Edward to gasp lightly. Once I got the shirt over his head I brushed my fingertips down his delicious pecs, over his rippled abs, and stopped when I got to his belly button.

Edward lunged forward, causing me to fall backwards and lay flat. Suddenly, Edward was hovering over me, hands on the floor next to my face. Leaning down, he placed open mouth kisses along my collarbone, making my heart beat rapidly. "Tell me, Bella. Do you like dirty talk or sweet talk?"

"Uh…um…I like both," I stammered, my statement coming out like a question, a reaction from what he was currently doing to me.

He looked up and his eyes met mine. "Care to explain?"

"It's simple," I started. "I like it when a guy isn't afraid to show his sensitive side by calling me little endearing nicknames, as long as it's not 'schmoopy' or something silly like that," I giggled.

"And the dirty talk…" Edward hedged, lowering his head to capture the side of my neck with his eager lips.

"Th-that's s-simple." He was driving me crazy and goose bumps were beginning to pop up all over my body. I felt my nipples straining against the fabric of my bra, sending me into a tizzy of horniness. "Dirty talk is hot, especially when someone whispers something naughty at any given moment, no matter where you are. Dirty talk is a must with me."

Edward's head shot up as if he had just been jolted with electricity. His emerald eyes were dark and hooded, as he flashed me his best lopsided smile. "You really shouldn't have said the part about wanting dirty talk at unexpected times, Bella. I am tempted to say such naughty things, that you had better bring a change of panties wherever you go when you're with me."

I quietly moaned, placed my hands to the sides of his face, and pulled him toward me so I could ravish his lips. I darted out my tongue and licked the length of his lips before taking his bottom lip captive between my teeth. Edward opened his mouth and began sucking on my tongue, luring it into his mouth where I greedily explored.

Our kiss was turning into a frenzied make out session as I wrapped my legs around his waist, wanting to feel all of him. He complied right away and let out his own tortuous moan as he pressed every inch of his hard on against my hot and aching center. My hands took on a life of their own, clawing at his back. That only spurred Edward on even more, as he bucked his hips into me while his hands were palming my breasts.

We were both panting with desire when Edward lifted himself off me and sat upright again. I didn't want to stop and I had no idea why he would, either.

"Bella," he breathed, his chest heaving ever so slightly, "Take off your shirt, and I know that wasn't a question; it wasn't meant to be one."

God, I loved it when he was so commanding. It was how he asked me out on our first date, how could I ever forget how that made me feel?

Immediately, I sat up. My hands flew to the edge of my tank top and I lifted it from my body in one swift motion, leaving me in my navy blue lace bra.

Edward's eyes popped out of his head, as his intense gaze was fixated on my breasts. My bra was sheer lace and extremely see through, so I knew he was observing everything. _Bingo- just the reaction I wanted._

We were facing one another, resting on our knees as Edward moved toward me and snaked his hands around my waist. He planted another searing open-mouthed kiss on me, causing me to grab the hair on the back of his head to keep him close.

"Would you rather I kiss you here," he brushed my neck softly, "Or…here?" Edward asked against my lips and ghosted his fingers along my collarbone before landing right on my nipple, pinching it for good measure.

"Where do you think?" I gasped out in pleasure, still holding onto his head, desperately hoping he would chose wisely.

Without answering, Edward began to move his lips deliciously slow down my neck, where he paid homage to it by nibbling on my skin. He glided his tongue down between my breasts before he made a sharp turn to my left nipple, which was still covered. He swirled his tongue around it torturously slow, and before I could force his head to the sweet spot, he finally complied and latched onto my nipple, suckling softly.

I moaned in appreciation, and arched my back, bringing Edward's face closer to my chest. He welded my body to his in a tight embrace and made his way over to my neglected breast. I tugged on his hair forcefully, which I think he appreciated because it made him increase his movements, by rubbing and grabbing my ass.

Realizing that my ass was exposed, Edward boldly placed his hands inside my yoga pants, moving them along my bottom. "I knew it. As soon as you showed me where you wanted a tat, I knew that you were wearing a thong. You are so damn sexy, Bella."

By this time, I wanted him so badly, but wasn't sure if we should have sex just yet. Sometimes, it's the build-up and anticipation of what's to come that can be arousing. However, I was completely soaked and needed a release…soon.

Moving things along in that direction, I placed my hands behind my back and took off my bra, letting the straps drape down my arms before Edward decided to reach out and take the bra from me, exposing my naked breasts.

"You are so beautiful," Edward stated simply. "Come here." He pulled me into a tight embrace and started peppering my shoulder with tiny kisses. I wiggled my body in appreciation, letting my pert nipples graze his chest, eliciting a growl from his beautiful mouth. His hard cock was pressed up against my pelvis and I wanted to feel his silky hardness again.

I snaked my hand between us and brushed over his hard length, and Edward's breathing hitching in response.

His hands slowly started to travel to the front of my thong toward where I wanted to feel him the most. One hand fell between my thighs, cupping my hot, throbbing pussy. Allowing a finger to explore, Edward dipped into my thong, running it along my bare lips, teasing me mercilessly.

"Jesus, you are so wet, Bella. I love that I can get you so excited," Edward said, bending down to lick and suck on my nipple.

Without delay, I shoved my hand down his pants, immediately coming in contact with his smooth, hard cock. I grasped it in my hand and began moving up and down along his shaft.

"Edward, lie back," I commanded as I gently placed my free hand on his chest and pushed. I was so turned on, but I wanted him to have his release first.

He gave me a pensive look, but when he saw that I was following him, a smirk crept back up on his face. When his back hit the floor, I wasted no time in assaulting his neck and his chest, while Edward's hands were rubbing my back. I traveled down his body, and when I reached the top of his flannel pajama pants, I hooked a finger on each side, starting to peel them from him.

Edward lifted his hips to help me and then kicked off his pants with his feet. His cock sprang free, bouncing in delight most likely knowing what was coming next.

The moment I slipped him into my mouth, Edward's hands latched on to the back of my head, holding me in place. I bobbed my head up and down, grabbing whatever I couldn't fit with my hand, moving it in time with my mouth. I sucked hard and swirled my tongue around the head, poking his slit with the tip of my tongue, licking up the pre-cum that was spouting out already. Then I made my way back down, sucking in as much air as I could.

"Shit, Bella, your mouth feels so fucking good on my cock," he panted, reaching a hand around to pinch my nipple.

I moaned, sending the vibrations down around him as I increased my pace and licked and sucked harder. He bucked his hips, sending his length further down my throat. That spurred me on even more, causing me to glide my tongue back up the underside of his shaft as my teeth lightly raked over the top.

"Bella…fuck…I'm going to cum soon, babe," Edward warned me, but I didn't listen and kept up with my ministrations. I wanted him to feel good, and by the way he was moaning and grunting, I knew my goal would be reached.

The faster I moved and the harder I grabbed and sucked, the more Edward bucked his hips. On the last time he bucked into my mouth, he tapped me on my head, signaling his imminent release. When I didn't move, he took that as an invitation to spill his seed inside my mouth, calling out my name in ecstasy.

If he kept that up, I wouldn't need him to help me with my release. I would just spontaneously orgasm from his sounds alone.

I greedily swallowed everything he gave me. Normally, I didn't like to swallow, as the taste wasn't too appealing. However, this was Edward, and I had never felt these feelings that I was feeling for anyone before him. I wanted to connect with him in any way. Plus, he didn't taste that bad at all, which was a bonus in my book.

Upon lifting my head, Edward quickly shifted and pounced on top of me, straddling my legs.

"Mmm, that was incredible, Bella," Edward cooed, bending down and planting a searing kiss on my lips. Edward was still sporting a hard-on and as it brushed up against my thigh, it suddenly dawned on me that he was naked. I had Edward Cullen naked and hard for me…oh the possibilities. This realization had me spinning out of control so much that I began rub my thighs together to soothe the ache between my legs.

Sitting up and brushing his fingers along my clothed core, Edward smirked and said, "You don't need to do that. I can make you feel good, baby." He hooked his fingers along the sides of my pants and thong, slowly beginning to peel them off me. Edward moved backward as my pants descended and stopped when he was finished, taking in my bare form.

His intense appraisal of my naked body made me feel a little self-conscious, as this was the first time he saw me like this. I felt so exposed…vulnerable even. My face immediately began to flush with heat and I knew I was as red as a tomato. I bit down on my lower lip with nervousness. _Does he like what he sees?_

Without one word, Edward lifted my right leg and began peppering my ankle with kisses. My heart was beating rapidly, threatening to burst out of my chest. I knew where this was leading, and I was desperate to feel his touch everywhere.

He grabbed my other leg and repeated his actions. "Would you rather me kiss you here," he licked my left ankle, "Or here?" Edward then licked the underside of my knee, making my leg twitch a bit. _Holy hell, he was still playing this damn game! He was moving so painfully slow._

"Hmm, perhaps you would rather me kiss you…here," Edward murmured against my lower thigh. I couldn't even speak, I was panting too hard. Making eye contact with him, I pleaded silently for him to move upwards.

Edward smirked in response and kissed and licked my other thigh. Edward finally let my legs go, planting my feet on the floor, legs spread wide apart. He crawled back a little to and laid down on his stomach, holding himself up by his elbows, his face so very close to where I was begging him in my head to be.

"How about this spot?" He bit down gently on my inner thigh. Finally, he was getting closer to the jackpot.

He studied my expression, which was one of desperation, as I furrowed my brows in impatience.

"No? Not liking this spot?" he questioned. By this time, I'd had enough of this game. He was being downright mean, making me pant for him. I couldn't take it any longer.

"Please, Edward…," I had finally found my voice.

"What is it baby?" he whispered right into my wet core, his hot breath caused my clit to twitch.

"I want you to-"

"You want me to what?" he interrupted, locking his smoldering eyes with my needy ones. Edward was wearing his biggest smile yet. He was definitely enjoying getting me all riled up and hot for him. It was working, that's for damn sure.

"Bella, I have one last question for you," he hedged. "Would you rather I pleasure you with my tongue, my fingers, or both?" By now, he had taken a liking to blowing directly on my wetness and watching me squirm with anticipation.

Sweet merciful Jesus. I wanted to answer 'both,' but I already knew what his fingers could do to me. Now I wanted to find out what his hot little mouth was made of.

"Um…uh…your mouth. I-I want to feel your t-tongue inside me, Edward," I uncontrollably stammered.

"I was hoping you would say that." Edward held my gaze once more, looking up at me through his lashes. He then proceeded to take one long lick of the length of my lips.

"Oh Edward," I whimpered, throwing my head back and hitting the floor. My hands gripped his hair, holding him in place.

Edward placed a few open mouthed kisses on my lips before darting his tongue in between and teasing my opening with it. I was gasping with pleasure.

"Don't stop…please don't you fucking stop," I commanded, swirling my hips along with the movements of his hot, wet tongue. Edward grabbed my ass, lifting me ever so slightly off the floor, gluing me to his mouth.

He continued to swirl his tongue everywhere, and when he ran it over my swollen clit, he gently bit down and sucked on it. He finally thrust his tongue inside me and I moaned in delight, unable to keep my mouth shut. It felt fucking amazing.

"Damn, Edward…you feel so good...shit," I panted. Edward was now moaning and was sucking even harder on my center. He switched it up a bit and went back to the "tongue swirl," as I liked to call it. The more he explored my pussy, the harder I writhed against his mouth, riding it trying to get even more friction. Gripping his hair tighter, if that was even possible, I was chanting his name over and over, throwing in a few expletives and a couple of "oh god's," showering Edward in appreciation.

Before I knew it, my stomach was feeling all tingly, and my core was pulsating so hard and fast. My release was imminent.

With one last hard suck and bite, I exploded into Edward's mouth as he continued to lap up whatever I gave him and moaned, the vibration tickling me. I stilled my movements, signaling that I was spent, and I released my death grip on Edward's head. My breathing slowed and I wiped the thin sheen of sweat that had coated my forehead with the back of my hand.

Best. Orgasm. Ever.

Edward crawled his way up my body, stopping inches away from my face. "You taste incredible. That was seriously hot and I could never tire of doing that to you."

Upon hearing those words, I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him toward me, smashing my lips to his, licking myself off him. He moaned into my mouth and lowered himself on me. My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, causing the head of his cock to graze against my still too sensitive core. Instantly, we gasped, remembering that we were indeed naked. If we stayed in this position a few seconds longer, I don't think either of us would have the will power to stop from progressing further.

As if reading my thoughts, Edward sat up slowly, a remorseful look flashed across his face. I gave him a slight smile in response.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I guess I got carried away. Please don't think I don't want you," he explained running a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. "Christ, I want you so fucking badly, but I think…"

"Edward, it's okay. I agree," I interrupted, sitting up, grabbing my tank top, and throwing it on. Edward's boxers were near me, so I picked them up and tossed them to him. "I can wait…um, I mean, I really want you, too," I stated, looking down at the floor, taking my lower lip between my teeth. Cue the damn blush.

Edward slid into his boxers, put his shirt back on, and made his way over to me.

Placing my head between his strong hands, Edward gazed intently at me before saying, "You are amazing, you know that? That's why when we are together for the first time; it won't be some frenzied, rushed affair. I plan on taking my time with you, Swan." Edward winked before placing a soft, chaste kiss on my lips.

We broke apart to finish getting dressed, when Edward's cell phone rang. It was Emmett. Eric, one of the guys at the fire house, had a family emergency and had to go, leaving them one guy short. Edward informed Emmett that he would gladly fill in for Eric. Edward felt badly that he had to leave so abruptly and that he wouldn't be able to hang with me tomorrow during the day, but I didn't mind at all. Of course, I wanted to spend more time with him, but I admired the fact that Edward loved what he did and would do anything to help his buddies, or anyone for that matter. I was beginning to realize that underneath that rugged exterior was a sensitive and compassionate man. He was all about saving anyone who was in need.

After a long kiss goodbye, he shot out the door. We agreed that he would meet up with me for our date tomorrow night at _Eclipse_, the newest club in town, which was owned by that slut, Victoria. I wondered how tomorrow night would play out, but given tonight's activities between Edward and me, I was confident that he wouldn't pay her any mind.

We would have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I woke up feeling relaxed and rested, and I owed that all to Edward. He starred in all my dreams, as I kept replaying the events of last night.

Alice had come in to remind me that she, Rosalie, and I had spa appointments this morning, which included a massage, facials, a manicure and pedicure.

It had completely slipped my mind, but Alice gave me a strange look, insisting that she had made this appointment and told me about it eight months ago. Did she honestly think I was going to remember that? Alice also said that it was her treat, to which I responded, "No fucking way," but she shot me that odd glance again, informing me that today she was going to take care of me. I shrugged my shoulders in defeat. She was the big boutique owner who made more than enough money, so why look a gift horse in the mouth?

Around ten o'clock, Rosalie glided through our door, bearing gifts. She plopped a bag in front of me on the kitchen counter.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Just a little something to say, 'I love you,' and I couldn't ask for a better friend," Rosalie replied.

"Well, what about Alice? Doesn't she get a gift, too?"

"Of course she does," Rose said, sliding the same type of bag I had toward Alice, who was sitting on the other end of the kitchen island. Alice clapped her tiny hands in delight, swinging her legs like a little kid.

_What the hell is up with these two? _

Alice and I opened our presents and we got the most gorgeous _Coach_ handbags. Alice's was black, while mine was dark brown. I loved it and I leaped out of my chair, pulling Rose into a bone-crushing hug.

"Rose, really this is too much. Thank you, but I have to ask…why?"

Rosalie shot Alice a pensive look, engaging in some silent conversation. I was clearly missing something and I couldn't for the life of me think of what it was.

"Uh…I just wanted to do something wonderful for my two friends whom I consider sisters, is all," she replied. Alice came over and soon we were in a little huddle, hugging one another.

Alice noticed the time and rushed us out the door, screaming something about keeping appointments. The spa was in walking distance, and since it wasn't too cold out, we decided to walk, the fresh air doing us some good. Upon passing my bank, I remembered that I had to deposit a check into my account. Alice huffed, but I quickly went inside, telling them I would be just a couple minutes.

I walked over to the table, grabbed one of those white deposit slips, and began to fill it out. When it came time to input today's date, I was at a loss, having to look eye level in front of me at the brown calendar plates, which displayed the day and date.

_Saturday, November Seventh_

My gut wrenched instantly, making me hunch over slightly. Holding on to the counter for support, I felt the bile rise in my throat. I wanted to curl up in a ball, retreat to my room and not come out for about a week.

Today was the day I was supposed to be getting married to Jacob.

I dropped the pen that was attached to the counter, ripped up my half filled out deposit slip, and bolted out of the bank doors. Once the cool air slapped against my face, I felt the tears creeping up, wanting to spill over. I gasped for air, clutching onto my chest. My pulse was racing and I began to sweat profusely underneath my jacket.

When I finally looked up, the tears poured down my cheeks, as Rosalie and Alice ran toward me and immediately enveloped me in a tight hug.

"The spa, the handbag…I should have known," I shook my head and cried.

"Ssh, it's okay, Bella. We're here. It's going to be okay," Alice cooed, rubbing circles along my back.

"I can't believe I forgot. I have been so consumed with Edward, that it didn't even occur to me that I should have been married today," I sniffled.

"Hey, that's a huge step that you didn't even remember what today was, Bella. You should be proud of yourself. You have come so far emotionally these past few months, and I feel it's partly because of Edward. It's like he inspired you to heal and get better," Rosalie chimed in, brushing the tears from my face.

"I know. Edward has been my breath of fresh air, you know? He made me feel alive again, and to tell you guys the truth, I have never felt a connection like this with anyone…not even Jake. Yet, I still feel the loss of Jake sometimes. We spent years together and it still hurts, just not as much anymore."

"Oh, sweetie, you have come so far. I am so happy that you and Edward are finally hitting it off. You two are so perfect for each other. You are helping one another heal in ways that Rose and I couldn't even begin to imagine. You've both gone through so much. I have to admit, I was surprised that you didn't remember today right away, but then I was so elated because I knew that it was my cousin's doing. I don't think you and Edward realize how much you truly need each other." Alice was now wiping the tears from her eyes and smiling at me.

"Thanks you guys. I don't know what I would do without your love and support. I love you both so much," I stated, linking my arms with one of theirs. "Now, come on. We have an appointment to get to and I have to look hot for my Edward tonight," I winked, realizing that I could breath normally again, the weight lifting off my chest. I swallowed down the empty feeling Jake left me with and tried to focus on the present. I would deal with the overwhelming emotions today was bringing on my own later.

*~*~*~*~*

Today ended up being an incredible day. I was pampered from head to toe, and I had the support from two of the most fantastic women I have ever met. My sadness dissipated as the day wore on, though I still couldn't believe that I was supposed to me married to Jacob. Married- that term seemed so foreign to me now.

_Eclipse_ was actually an awesome club. There were two levels to this place, each with its own dance floor and bar. Thankfully, Victoria was nowhere in sight. The girls and I settled for the lower level, grabbing a table off to the side of the dance floor in direct view of the door. We were anxiously awaiting the arrival of the guys. I couldn't wait to see Edward, and I wondered if he would be happy to see me, too. Alice made sure I looked my sexiest, donning me in a tight pair of vintage blue jeans and one of her not yet released Alice Cullen original tops. It was a navy blue bustier top, with white lace trimming along the edges. I didn't have to wear a bra with it, as my tits were pushed up enough, the swells of my breasts spilling out. I wanted to drive Edward wild.

While we waited, we had downed a few martinis, and Rosalie insisted we celebrate my overcoming a huge obstacle by doing several rounds of shots. They were so happy for me about how far I'd come in dealing with the loss of Jake; I didn't have the heart to admit that I was more upset about the revelation of today's date than I led on. Using the alcohol to push down the hurt and frustration, I was definitely feeling no pain by my eighth shot and I welcomed the numbness. I desperately had to pee, so I informed Rose and Alice that I would be right back.

I staggered a little bit on my way to the restrooms, as they were across the room from where we were sitting. I was bobbing my head to the beat of the song that was blasting, when all of a sudden I was gripped from behind, strong hands at my waist.

_Edward_. I closed my eyes as I was spun around. When all movements stilled, I opened my eyes and gasped in shock, my mouth hanging open.

This was not Edward touching me, and I should have known from the lack of that tingly sensation he usually shocked my skin with. No, this certainly was _not_ Edward.

It was Jake.

"Hey Bells. How have you been?" The scumbag smiled down at me, still holding my sides, mind you.

I rectified that issue right away by pushing him off me and moving backwards a bit, tripping over my feet and bumping into the wall.

"I'm fine," I started. "Shouldn't you be dancing the Electric Slide or something equally cheesy at your wedding reception now?" I huffed and crossed my arms. I now wished that Alice or Rosalie had made the trip to the bathroom with me. I needed the support. Not to mention my alcohol intake was seriously getting to my head.

"Yeah, I don't think so, seeing as I didn't get married," he said.

"What? You didn't marry that skank? What happened? Did you cheat on her, too, huh? Did you get someone else pregnant and break her heart?" I felt the heat rising within my body. I couldn't believe I was standing here engaged in a conversation with the devil.

"No, actually, Leah broke my heart. That baby, Bella, was never mine. She lied to me," he stated remorsefully, trying to give me some puppy dog face. I wasn't buying what he was selling.

"I'd tell you that I was sorry, but really, I'm not," I scoffed. "You deserve every heartbreak that comes your way," I slurred slightly.

"I know. Believe me; I have spent the past two months realizing that. I have been meaning to call you. I'm so sorry, Bella."

"You're sorry? For what exactly, because there is a plethora of things you need to feel sorry for Jacob Black! Are you sorry for making me love you, wasting _years_ of my life staying devoted to you, only to have my heart stomped on? Are you sorry for the months of shame and embarrassment I felt toward my family, my friends, my co-workers because of your betrayal? Are you sorry for making me doubt myself worth because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants? Are you sorry for deciding to stay with that whore and wanting to marry her on the same fucking day you were supposed to commit yourself to me forever? Are you sorry that I almost lost my job because I was unable to function, never wanting to leave my bed? Are you sorry that my friends had to spend their summer on 'Bella Breakdown Watch' instead of vacationing with each other? Are you sorry that because of you, I will never fully trust another man, no matter how wonderful he could be toward me?" I screamed, accentuating every point by repeatedly jabbing my pointer finger into his chest.

Jake stood there, taking everything in, and just intently staring at me before he finally got the nerve to speak. "I-I had no idea what this has been like for you, Bells. I-I didn't realize…I'm so sor…"

"Don't you fucking say you're sorry again, or else I'm going to punch the living shit out of you. You selfish bastard! How could you think I would be okay after what you put me through? And don't ever call me by that nickname again! You lost all rights to anything concerning me the moment you decided to throw what we had away on a couple of fucks! I'm glad that baby isn't yours, because now you know how it feels to have your heart ripped out of you and to be deceived in the worst possible way!" I was moving my arms about wildly, as Jake made an attempt to move closer to me, but I lunged at him and pushed him forcibly backwards.

My slurred rant made my drunken state worsen. I was dizzy and shaking with anger, and not to mention, I still had to fucking use the bathroom. This asshole had wasted enough of my time, and I had to get away from him before my friends came looking for me, or worse, Edward.

"If I could just call you sometime so we could talk, I want a chance to explain everything. Can I call you? Please?" Jake begged with a pained expression on his face. He reached out and grabbed my elbow, trying to force me closer to him.

"Get your motherfucking hands off me! And, no, you can't fucking call me! Are you insane? What makes you think I would actually want to listen to whatever bullshit you needed to tell me?" I wobbled away from him again, hitting my back against the wall lightly.

"Look, I have got to go take a god damn pee and you are preventing me from doing so. I would say that it's been a pleasure, but it hasn't. Rot in hell, you son of a bitch!" I drunkenly spat at Jake, who was beyond shocked at my attitude toward him.

With that, I turned around and made my way to the bathroom when Jake gripped me harder this time by my arm, jostling me backwards, causing me to lose my footing and sway from side to side.

"Will you fucking wait a minute, Bella?" Jake scolded, no longer hiding his frustration.

"Ow, Jake! You're hurting me!" I screamed over my shoulder. He still had my arm in his vice grip, and my body was turned away from him.

Then, out of nowhere, a familiar voice roared behind me, "Get your fucking hands off her!"

***************************************************************************************************************************************************

**Raise your hands if you really want the voice to belong to Edward! Anyone want Jake to get an ass whooping? Guess you're going to have to wait and see ;)**

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	11. Chapter 11

**A/N-Hi everyone. Sorry it took a little long to get this chapter up. The next chapter should be a lot quicker to get up. I'm not going to write a super long A/N here since I'm sure you want to just get to it already.**

**But real quick we have to thank our awesome betas for their hard work in helping us look like we have good grammer. Sweet Dulcinea, Keepingupwiththekids, and Dolphin62598...you ladies rock!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight but Holly and I got to see a taping of Jimmy Fallon tonight with none other than Kristen Stewart as a guest. She can throw quite a football.**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**EPOV**

Emmett, Jasper, and I arrived at Eclipse shortly after midnight. There had been an alarm for an automobile fire at work causing Emmett and I to run late. The line to get into the club was wrapped around the block, but we didn't have to wait since Victoria put our names on the guest list. I was praying that I wouldn't run into her. I was already apprehensive about coming here at all now that Bella and I were _talking,_ but I was assured by everyone, including Bella, that it was cool.

We walked into the club and I took in the surroundings. It was a pretty cool looking place. It was two stories high and had a massive dance floor in the middle. The main bar on the first level stretched from one side of the club to the other, and I noticed smaller bars scattered along the sides and upstairs. I myself am not normally your nightclub kind of guy. I much more prefer neighborhood bars…you know that shit where, "everyone knows your name," but I was willing to give the place a shot since the rest of the group wanted to check it out.

"I think I see Rosalie," Emmett said. Jasper and I followed his gaze and sure enough, we could see the blonde-haired, model-looking Rosalie sitting at a table off to the side of the dance floor.

Emmett took off towards Rosalie like a fat kid who spotted cake. Jasper just smiled and shook his head and the two of us followed. When we got closer, I saw Alice. She jumped up and gave Jasper a big hug and kiss before making her way over and hugging me, too. I noticed Bella was not sitting with them. Had she decided not to come out tonight? Did she regret what we did last night? I had a sinking feeling and started to worry.

"Where's Bella?" I asked Alice.

"She just left to go to the bathroom," Alice informed me while looking around. "She's over there," she pointed across the dance floor.

I looked towards where she was pointing and saw Bella's back as she was making her way to where I had to assume the bathrooms were; I breathed a small sigh of relief that she was here. I was staring at her…checking out her ass actually, when I noticed she was stumbling a little and bumping into fellow club goers.

"How much has she had to drink?" I spat, somewhat annoyed at my cousin and Rosalie.

Rosalie just rolled her eyes and continued her conversation with Emmett. I looked at my cousin and glared.

"Yes, Edward, she has had a little too much to drink. But you should probably know now that this day has been a little bit hard on her."

I immediately went into protector mode. "How so? What happened?"

Alice looked at me a bit uncomfortably. "Edward, today is the day Bella was supposed to get married."

My mouth dropped open. I was shocked and had no idea what to say or how to react.

"Look," Alice said before I could respond, "She's actually doing a lot better than Rosalie and I thought she would. I also think that has a hell of a lot to do with you."

"With me?" I asked a little dumbfounded.

"God, Edward, you are a smart guy, but you can be so dense sometimes. It's obvious that Bella really likes you. Since you two had your first date, she's happy. I haven't seen her this way in a long time. If you weren't in the picture, I have no doubt that this night would not be spent out with friends at a club. She would be at home still in a state of depression, but besides a small breakdown this afternoon, she is really taking the day in stride, and I'm so proud of her. So, yes, she had a little too much to drink, but don't bust my balls, Edward. She's being strong and showing good face tonight."

"No fucking way!" I heard Jasper yell, as his fist pounded the table. The beer he had been drinking fell to the floor and shattered from the impact.

We all looked at him in shock. Jasper was always cool, calm, and collected. I had never seen him raise his voice, and I imagine the rest of them had only seen that side of him maybe a handful of times. His fists were clenched and the look on his face was murderous. He was staring off across the club, so we all turned and followed the direction in which he was looking.

There was a sea of people on the dance floor, so I didn't really know what he was looking at, but the next thing I heard was Alice gasp and cover her mouth with her hand, mumbling something that sounded like, "Holy shit." Rosalie and Emmett both stood up immediately as if they were getting ready to attack.

"What?" I shouted, looking back at them all. When no one answered me, I turned slightly to look in the direction they were staring again, and I finally made out that Bella was across the dance floor talking to some guy. Well, talking wasn't really how I would describe it. Bella was having what seemed like a rather heated exchange.

"Who the fuck is that guy?" I shouted, this time garnering the attention that told my friends I was not playing and that someone had better start explaining.

I thought he was getting married today?" Rosalie said in the most vile, angry voice that could ever come out of such a pretty girl's mouth.

"I…I…I don't understand," Alice stuttered. She sounded angry, but also on the verge of tears.

No one needed to say another word. Like Alice said before, I might be dense sometimes, but I was not stupid. That had to be Bella's ex-fiancé, Jacob. I made a move to take a step forward, but Alice stepped in front of me placing her hands on my chest.

"Edward, I would love nothing more than to have you go over there, but she seems like she has this under control right now. She isn't crying; she is talking. She has waited months to give that shit head a piece of her mind, and I want to allow her that opportunity."

I looked away from Alice and around the table. They were all still glaring and breathing like bulls ready to take charge, but everyone seemed to concur with Alice. We all took our seats…watching and waiting.

Their conversation seemed to be getting more and more heated, and we were all tense, sitting on the edge of our seats watching the scene unfold in front of our eyes. Bella had gone from talking angrily to full on yelling. I couldn't stop my leg from bouncing up and down from the anxiety pulsing through my body. I had to hold on to the underside of my seat to keep me from sprinting across the dance floor, especially when I saw him put his hand on her elbow while talking to her to keep her from walking away.

Bella finally looked like she was done saying whatever it is she wanted to say, and I breathed a little sigh of relief as she turned to walk away from him. Apparently, he was not done saying what he wanted to say, and before she got two steps away, he grabbed her…hard! When I saw her spin around, wincing from the pressure his fingers were putting on her arm, I knew that was the moment that Jacob Black made the biggest mistake of his life.

Emmett, Jasper, and I were up so fast that all three of our chairs flipped backwards, and the people sitting around us gasped. Alice and Rosalie stood as well, but when Jasper turned and told them to stay put, I knew that neither would follow. He was just trying to keep them both out of harm's way if punches were thrown, and that possibility was very likely.

I flew across the dance floor, followed by Emmett and Jasper.

As I got closer, I heard that prick shout, "Will you fucking wait a minute, Bella?" But it was the words I heard next that had me seeing red and sealed that motherfucker's fate as far as I was concerned.

"Ow, Jake! You're hurting me!" She screamed over her shoulder.

"Get your fucking hands off her!" I said as I pushed past the last of the crowd in my way. I had obviously startled the asshole by catching him off guard. He jumped a little, dropped Bella's arm, and spun around to face me. He didn't even have time to react before I lunged at him, grabbing him by the neck and throwing him up against the wall.

"So you like to put your hands on girls? And even more stupid on your part, you like to put your hands on _my _girl? I. Don't. Fucking. Think. So."

His look went from being fully startled, to looking confused, to actually starting to look smug.

He glanced over at Bella. "I should have assumed something was up when you started running that mouth of yours. You've had some confidence literally fucked into you since we have last seen each other, huh?"

"You son of a bitch," Bella spat and tried to hit him over my shoulder, but Jasper grabbed her and dragged her back a few feet. He may have gotten lucky that Bella missed him when she tried to hit him, but I still had him up against the wall by his neck. I grabbed his shirt with my other hand, pulled him forward, and then slammed him back against the wall again.

I clearly knocked the wind out of him as he coughed a little to catch his breath. He finally looked over at Bella and said, "Bella, this has gotten completely out of hand. I just wanted to talk to you. I'm sorry that I grabbed you too hard, but you know I have never laid a hand on you. I'm sorry. Can't we just go somewhere and talk?"

By this time, Rosalie and Alice had come over and were standing on either side of Bella. I heard Rosalie tell Bella that they were going to take her to the ladies room to clean her up and fix her hair. Bella looked at the two of them and just nodded her head, looking defeated and sad.

When the three of them walked off, I turned back toward Jacob, who was still up against the wall with my hand around his throat. Jasper walked over and put his hands on my shoulder, silently letting me know that I should let go and back away. I was still furious and wanted to put my fist through his face, but I was concerned about Bella and needed to see her.

I backed up and Jacob rubbed his neck.

"You are lucky this was three against one, asshole, or else I would've snapped you in two!" he growled at me.

"Oh yeah, motherfucker," I snarled back. "You wanna take this outside, just you and me? I'll show you how concerned I am to have it one on one!"

I was about to lunge back at him when Emmett grabbed me. Rosalie came out of nowhere, stepping in between Jacob and me.

"Edward!" she shouted. "Go get Bella. She is with Alice outside of the ladies room. Take her home now. She needs _you_," she accentuated, as she glared at Jacob. "And I think it is best if she gets the fuck out of this place."

We all started to turn and walk away, but right before we did, I saw Rosalie out of the side of my eye turn toward Jacob and knee him in the balls. She then smiled innocently and said, "Oops, my bad," before pulling a nail file out of her pocket and started filing her nails, as she walked away casually like nothing happened.

"That's my girl!" I heard Emmett say before he and Jasper walked away. I headed towards the bathroom, and Jacob was left doubled over in pain.

I made my way through the crowd, back down a small hallway where the bathrooms were located, finding Bella and Alice huddled together deep in conversation. When I got close enough, Bella looked up and flung herself at me, locking her arms around my neck and burying her face into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and just held her there.

"Thank you," she said so softly, I could barely hear her. "I'm just so sorry you had to see that and get involved."

I pulled back slightly and Bella looked up at me. "Bella, you don't owe me any type of apology. If anything, I feel the need to apologize to you."

She looked at me like I was crazy.

"And just what would you need to apologize to me for?"

"For acting like a Neanderthal," I said. "I know you can handle yourself, and I tried to let you take care of things, but as soon as I saw him put his hands on you, I lost it. The whole situation between you and him is none of my business, but I hate to break the news to you Bella, you are my business now."

Bella looked up at me and smiled as a huge blush crept across her face. She trembled as she stood on her toes and kissed my lips. When she pulled back, she whispered softly, "Take me home, Edward."

* * *

We walked outside of the club and I realized that Bella and the girls must have driven here because she had no coat with her. The guys and I had walked so I was wearing my heavy coat. I took it off and wrapped it around Bella. She took a few steps and almost tripped. I grabbed her quickly before she fell.

"You're my knight in shining armor tonight, Edward," she said before giggling a little and then hiccupping.

"Okay there, Cinderella, I think you have had a little too much to drink tonight," I said as I snaked my arm around her waist to steady her. I started walking us in the direction toward home.

She just laughed a little and then shrugged her shoulders. "I'm just fine, thank you very much. I wish you would've let me pummel Jake, I would've knocked him into next week," she said very confidently. All the while, I was holding practically all her weight so she wouldn't fall over.

"I'm sure you would have," I said, hiding my smirk at her drunken liquid confidence. I wasn't denying that sober Bella could've given him a nice shiner. She was feisty, and that is something that I would've really liked to see, but with the way she was walking right now, I would bet her punch might have landed anywhere but on Jake's face. She would have probably been seeing three of him and hopefully would've picked the right one when she punched.

We walked for a couple of blocks in silence before I heard Bella sniffle. I looked down at her but couldn't see her face because her hair was blocking my view.

"Bella, are you okay? Alice told me what today was supposed to be. Do…do you want to talk about it?" I asked a little hesitantly. I knew it was something she probably should talk about, but being that she was drunk, I didn't want to open up the floodgates if her emotions were too unprotected to deal with, due to the alcohol flowing in her veins.

She looked up at me, and I was surprised to see that she wasn't hysterically crying or anything. Her eyes were a little red, and there was a single tear running down her cheek, but other than that, she had a big smile on her face.

"I'm not going to lie to you Edward, this day was not the easiest day I've had, but surprisingly it wasn't the hardest either. When I realized the date it did upset me and caught me off guard, but that's the thing Edward…it caught me off guard. I wasn't sitting there for the past few weeks staring at my calendar knowing this day was coming up. I know I am not healed completely and seeing him tonight proved that to me, but I am really happy that you are in my life."

She hiccupped again and looked down at her feet.

We approached the apartment building at that moment and I opened the door while still holding onto her. I nodded at the doorman as we made our way toward the elevators. I thought the cool air and walk home would help sober Bella up a bit, but it just seemed to have allowed the alcohol in her system to truly take effect. By the time we made it up to the floor her apartment was on, I had given up trying to hold her up. I picked her up and cradled her in my arms, as she slumped down with her shoulder against my chest. Alice had given me her keys before we left so I unlocked the door, walked in, and closed it behind us.

I walked into her bedroom and placed her down on the edge of the bed. I kneeled down on the floor in front of her and began to remove her shoes. She was sitting up but her body was pretty limp. Once I got her shoes off, I got up, walked over to her dresser, and opened the drawers to find a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I grabbed them, walked back over to where she was sitting, and kneeled down again.

I undid the button on her jeans and lifted her up slightly so I could get them off of her. I didn't want my stupid ass to get turned on seeing her body as I changed her, so I kept my head down, eyes toward the floor. I got her jeans off and was about to reach for the sweats to the side of me when I felt her running her hands through my hair.

"Edward?"

"Yeah," I answered back without looking up at her.

"Look at me," Bella commanded.

I glanced up at her. God surely hated me because somehow the girl who couldn't walk five minutes ago had managed to remove her shirt and bra without me even hearing a thing. My eyes bugged out of my head, but I quickly looked over her shoulder at the wall. I reached to the floor on my right side, grabbed the t-shirt I had sitting there, and handed it to her.

"Put this on Isabella!" I said, probably a bit too harshly.

She didn't say anything and I thought she was going to comply; that is until I saw the t-shirt wiz by my head and land on the floor across the room.

I took a deep breath and lowered my eyes just enough so I was looking at her face but not at anything else.

She put her hands back in my hair, pulling me in toward her, while she leaned in toward me. She pressed her lips to mine and began kissing me deeply. I knew from the first day I met this girl she was going to be the death of me and right in this moment, I knew how right I was.

"Edward," she said into my mouth, "I want you to stay with me tonight and have wild, hot, passionate sex. All. Night. Long."

_Ugh…what the fuck is she doing to me?_ I'm not blind. I have this beautiful girl sitting in front of me in nothing but her panties. She has her fingers in my hair and her tongue in my mouth, all the while she is begging me to fuck her senseless. There was nothing more that I wanted to do right now, but for every reason I wanted to there were a million why I shouldn't.

This was the day she was supposed to be getting married to another man, a man who broke her heart no less. She was holding herself together but I knew she was hurting. She was also drunk and I didn't want my first time with her to be like that. Sure, I could have been the guy who thought with just his dick. Hell, I had been that guy at points in my life, but with Bella, it was different. I had to put a stop to this before we both did something we would regret tomorrow.

When I did finally have sex with Bella, I didn't want it to be anything that either one of us would regret.

I put my hands over hers and removed them from my hair. I pulled away from her lips and leaned back while still on my knees and grabbed the shirt she had flung across the room, handing it to her. "Bella put this on…_now_," I said as sensitively as I could, but also firmly so she knew I wasn't kidding.

She sat silent for a minute before snatching the t-shirt out of my hand and throwing it over her head. I reached for the sweats and started to help her put them on when she slapped my hands away.

"I've got it!" she snapped. "I'm perfectly capable of dressing and taking care of myself. I've done well on my own up to this point."

She stood up, slid her sweats on, and then turned to glare at me.

"Thank you for tonight Edward. Thank you for getting me home safely, but I can take care of myself now. You are free to leave. I don't hold anyone against their will," she said curtly.

She turned away from me and started pulling down the covers on her bed.

"Bella," I said as I stood up. "Please don't be this way. You know I am not saying 'no' because I don't want you…"

She cut me off before I could finish. "I know, Edward, it's 'you not me'. I've heard it before and I'm fine with it. I should have known better then to fall so fast for you. It was only a matter of time before you rejected me, too. So I'm letting you off the hook. Just leave. Get out!"

I knew that her anger was misplaced, and the alcohol was making her highly emotional, but it killed me to think that she felt any type of rejection from me.

"Get out!" she yelled louder.

"No."

"Get! Out! Now!" she practically screamed.

I stepped closer to her. "No."

"Edward, please!" she screamed.

I stepped right in front of her. "Bella, I'm not going anywhere."

Then she lost it and started pounding my chest with her tiny fists. She was screaming, angry tears flowing down her cheeks. I just stood there and let her get out her frustrations. I knew this had nothing to do with me. Seeing Jacob tonight had been a blow to the confidence she had been feeling lately, and this setback really left her feeling vulnerable. If I could be her punching bag to get out those frustrations, I would gladly do that for her.

Her angry, frustrated tears eventually subsided and her fists gripped my shirt but stilled. She was still sobbing but more in a defeated, pained way.

I circled my arms around her and pulled her to me. She still gripped on to my shirt, buried her head into my chest and cried.

"Bella," I said softly, "I'm only going to tell you this one time so please, listen carefully. I am not going anywhere…and I don't just mean tonight."

I heard her catch her breath before she slowly lifted her head off my chest and looked up into my eyes. Her eyes were completely bloodshot and puffy, and her cheeks were stained with tears. I reached up and wiped the mascara out from under her eyes where it had smudged.

"Edward I am so sorry…"

"Shhh," I cut her off. "You have nothing to be sorry for and I don't want to hear another word about it. Now let's get you into bed so you can get some rest."

She gave me a small, pained smile but nodded slowly. She reluctantly let go of my shirt and turned toward her bed.

She got into bed while I sat on the edge to tuck her in.

"Edward?" she asked, looking uncertain and nervous.

"Yes," I said back, as I brushed the hair off her forehead.

"Um…if I promise to behave myself, would you consider spending the night tonight and sleeping with me…and I really mean just sleep. I just don't want to be alone right now."

I couldn't help but let out a little laugh, but I quickly choked it back so I wouldn't give her the wrong idea and upset her again.

I leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Baby, I wasn't planning on leaving," I said as I kissed her on the cheek. I stood up and walked around the bed to the other side. I kicked my shoes off, pulled my jeans off, and climbed into bed beside Bella. I enveloped her in my arms, pulling her close to me. She buried her head into my chest again while wrapping her arm around my waist, holding me tight.

"Thank you again for everything tonight, Edward. I won't say I'm sorry again because you told me I wasn't allowed to, but just know that if I _was_ allowed to I _would _say it…and I would mean it from the bottom of my heart."

I snickered and said, "Okay, Bella, why don't we just say 'you'll owe me one'? I'm sure at some point I am going to need you and I hope you'll be there."

"Absolutely. No questions asked," she promised as she raised her head up from my chest to look at me.

I leaned down and kissed her. "Now get some rest."

She nodded and then tucked her head back down into my chest again. I rested my chin on the top of her head and listened to her breathing. It only took a few minutes before her breaths were deep and slow, signaling she had fallen asleep.

Tonight had changed many things for me. I had known after our first date that I cared for Bella much more than just a physical relationship, that much was obvious, but it was more than that. I now felt protective of her in a way that I hadn't felt for anyone else since Tanya. I needed and wanted to take care of her. I could actually see a future with her. I would be lying if I said that didn't scare the shit out of me. It's not that I never wanted to settle down again after Tanya, I just didn't think it would happen this soon.

I also knew that as close as Bella and I were becoming, she was sharing so much more of her life with me than I was to her, and that wasn't fair. I knew that. Fixing that meant that I had to rip those damn band-aids off and tell her all about my life in Chicago, the year before I moved here. How much could I really honestly tell her? I still emailed Tanya on a daily basis, even though I knew that it was done and over with.

Seeing Bella confront her worst demons was conflicting to me in regards to my own situation. I saw how broken it made her and I didn't want to feel that. I had pushed it all down, running away from it, but at the same time, she was facing it and dealing with it head on. I knew it was hard on her, but she was probably a lot farther ahead than I was in making peace with it and moving on with her life. I envied her for that.

I lay there for almost three hours thinking about everything, all the while holding this beautiful girl, whom I was clearly falling for hard.

Right before I finally drifted off to sleep, I made the decision that it was time. I was going to tell Bella everything. I was going to tell her all about Tanya.

* * *

I woke up the next morning still wrapped around Bella. I craned my neck to see what time it was.

_Seven o'clock_.

I had been up really late just thinking about a lot of stuff, so it surprised me that I was already awake. I knew Bella was probably going to be sleeping late today and would undoubtedly have a nasty hangover, so I decided that I would go for a run by the water and on my way back, I would stop and get some coffee and bagels because she was going to need it.

I slipped out of Bella's bed as carefully as I could. I didn't want to wake her. I went over to her desk and ripped a piece of paper out of a notebook that sat on top. I wrote Bella a note letting her know I was just going to be out for a little while and I would bring back food.

I walked back over to her bed, placing the note on the pillow I had been laying on. I reached over and wiped a few stray hairs that had fallen into Bella's face out of the way. I then leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.

After I was dressed, I made my way up to my apartment so I could change into my jogging clothes. I slipped on my sweat pants, a t-shirt and my sneakers.

I decided to quickly check my emails before running out. There were a couple from my friends back home and one from both Carlisle and Esme. I wrote everyone back, promising also to call Esme tonight. I knew if I didn't it would only be a matter of time before she showed up on my doorstep making sure I was still alive. Either that or she would have Alice beat me up.

I then decided that there was one more person I needed to email. I had done a lot of thinking last night, and I knew that I really had to start dealing head-on with the whole Tanya situation. If I had any shot in making things work with Bella, I needed to make peace that my time with Tanya was over and I had to let her go. I would always love her in some capacity. I think once you love someone that deeply it never truly goes away, but I had to give what I had with Bella a fair shot, and keeping this connection with Tanya constant and alive wasn't going to help.

I knew that eventually I would have to go and see Tanya in person. That would truly be how I would make my peace, but for now, that was not a possibility for me. Perhaps writing her this last e-mail and telling her I couldn't and wouldn't be doing it anymore would help me loosen the weight that rested on my shoulders.

_Subject: It's time… _

_Hi Tanya,_

_This is probably the hardest email that I have ever had to write, but I realize something necessary that I need to do. I know you will be happy to hear what I am going to say because you have probably just thought that I was torturing myself all these months writing you and having one-sided conversations. _

_I know you understood why I did it though. This was my only way to talk to you. To feel like I still had you there to talk to like we did every night before going to sleep. It was the last shred of sanity I had knowing that I could still let you know what was going on in my life on a daily basis. _

_The thing is Tanya, I've met someone. Remember that girl Bella I was telling you about? She is a friend of Alice's. Well, she and I have gone on a few dates together and we are starting to get pretty close. I haven't felt these types of feelings for a girl, or the possibilities of a future, other than with you. That is why I know I can't turn my back on her. _

_I tried to resist her in the beginning because I felt guilty moving on from you, but I know if you were here you would smack me on the back of the head, roll your eyes, and tell me to get over myself. You would tell me that the only thing you want is for me to be happy and if it can't be with you it would be okay with you as long as it was someone caring and with a good heart. I know you would really like her if you met her. _

_Well anyway, the real reason I am writing is to let you know that this is the last e-mail you are going to get from me. Eventually, when I am back in Chicago for something, I would like to come and see you. Talk to you in person instead of over a damn e-mail message, and I hope that would be okay with you. I love you, Tanya, and I always will. I hope I can make you proud of me in my life choices._

_Love always,_

_Edward_

I procrastinated sending it, knowing it would be the last time. I felt like I was really letting her go… and it really fucking hurt, but I knew this was something I needed to do in order to give my relationship with Bella a fair shot. After taking a couple of deep breaths, I hit send. I was just about to sign out when I noticed the folder in my e-mail inbox where I had saved every e-mail I had sent to Tanya in the past year. I rarely went back and re-read them, especially the earlier ones, because the e-mails were basically a time line of where I was emotionally. Reading the really early ones was extremely hard because I was in a very dark place in my head at those times. However, I felt like since I had just sent my last message it would only be fitting to read the first one.

I nervously hit the very first e-mail in the folder and read it. The pain was so evident in my words. I almost didn't even remember writing it. It was very possible that I was drunk when I wrote it. The words that I had feverishly typed out just expressed how I couldn't live without her in my life, that I was nothing without her. I told her how I would never find anyone else that could compare to her in my life. That even if I found someone else, they would never ever fill her shoes.

The need to clear my head was too strong, so I left the email open with the intention of finishing it when I got home.

I made my way out of my apartment. When I got outside the building, I did some stretches, popped my iPod buds in my ears, and took off running towards the water.

After running for almost half an hour, a slight drizzle of rain started to fall, but it felt really good. I was allowing all the thoughts of last night to filter through my brain. From the altercation with Jacob, to Bella's emotional breakdown in her bedroom, to my breakthrough on how I needed to deal with the Tanya situation was a bit overwhelming.

It was hard to imagine all that occurred within a twenty-four hour period when I hadn't been able to deal with it in a one year period. When Alice was telling me at the club last night that Bella's new found strength seemed to be coming from her happiness in finding me, I hadn't really thought about that before. I realized now that it was the same thing for me.

Before I moved here, I just existed. I went to work, kept up appearances so I didn't worry my mother, but I really didn't have any interests. I stayed home a lot, rarely went out with friends, and just was not too much fun to be around at all.

Now that I was here, I had a great job, a new group of friends, was back living near my best friend and cousin, Alice, and found a girl who made me really happy. Whatever we did together, from going out in a group or by ourselves, or staying in and eating a picnic on her living room floor, I felt pure happiness knowing I was going to be with her. Not only was she gorgeous, she was also such a beautiful person on the inside too. She was funny and quirky. She was a tough cookie who didn't need a man to take care of her, but she knew I was the kind of guy who liked to take care of her, so she let me.

Without her even knowing, she was taking care of me, too. In some indirect way, she was pushing me to work through my issues so that I could be the man that she deserved.

Our physical relationship was also amazing. Sure, we hadn't had sex yet, but I knew that was going to change very soon. We were so close. I was glad we had taken our time and waited though. I don't think either one of us was at the emotional place when we first met to have gone there that quickly.

When we were fooling around in her living room the other day we had been so close. It would have been all too easy for me to have pushed inside of her. We were laying there naked and were both so turned on, but something in my head told me that I needed to make it really special for her. I'm not normally your pansy ass romantic type of guy, but I had learned to do special things for a lady I cared about while with Tanya. I found that when a guy does that shit all the time it loses its meaning. When you save it for the big deal stuff, it means a lot to your woman.

I started to put a plan together to ask Bella if she wanted to hang out tonight. If she agreed, I was going to ask the guys to stay out of the apartment for the night and I was going to surprise Bella with a romantic evening which would hopefully end in my bed.

I finished my jog and stopped into the coffee shop, which was conveniently located on the corner of our block. I picked up coffees and bagels for everyone since Rosalie had spent the night up at our apartment with Emmett, and I think Jasper was staying with Alice.

I was walking up the street and I couldn't help but laugh aloud when I passed the twenty-four hour _Kinko's_ that Alice had told me about. You think that chick was kidding when she said she had that "date book" professionally bound?

I called Emmett from my cell phone telling him to meet me in the girl's apartment for breakfast. I didn't have to tell him twice. It sounded like he was locking the front door before I even hung up the phone.

I got off the elevator on Bella's floor. I knocked before opening the door to let myself in to her apartment. Alice was sitting on the counter while Jasper was walking out of her bedroom. Rosalie was sitting at the table rolling her eyes at Emmett who was sitting there with a napkin tucked into his shirt like a bib while holding a knife and fork. Bella had her back to me. I put the food down on the table, walked up behind her and slid my arms around her waist.

"Hello there," I said into her neck.

"Hey there," she said as she turned to face me, putting her arms around my waist. "I missed you this morning."

"I woke up early and couldn't sleep. I didn't want to wake you, so I decided to go for a run and get breakfast."

"Well you can always wake me. I could think of some things to do that would be a good workout and would be a heck of a lot more fun than jogging." She winked, a coy smile spread on her face.

"Mmm," I moaned into her neck. "Well speaking of that, _don't_ make any plans for tonight."

She leaned back and cocked an eyebrow, looking at me suspiciously but playfully. "And why would that be?"

"Because you and I have plans for tonight."

"We do? And just where is it that we are going?"

"My apartment. More specifically…my bed."

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**A/N: Okay so??? Did we like the little beat down that Edward gave Jacob? Yeah so did we! **

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**We hope you all get out and see New Moon this week. We are so excited to see this movie already. Its going to be AMAZING.**

**Now I know you have all been patient little readers and all I can say is in finishing up this chapter I am getting the strong scent of lemony citrus blowing back at me. Could it possibly be coming from Chapter 12???? Stay tuned…**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: We're back…finally! So sorry for the long wait. We don't plan on that occurring again. So much to say, but we will try to keep this short-**

**~The NY New Moon premiere was a success and we even got to meet some of our readers. Hugs and Smooches go out to Maureen and Bree who approached us! It was so great to meet you ladies! **

**~Thanks to our beta, Sweet Dulcinea for her mad skills with this mother of a chapter! We love ya! **

**~Lastly, we don't say this enough, but we love all of you who have reviewed and put us on alert. We do have such fabulous readers- you all rock!**

**Disclaimer: SM still owns it all. We just own many magazines with Rob's beautiful face on the cover. Run out and get those collectible Entertainment Weeklys that just hit newsstands…I already have!**

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***BPOV***

"Bella, stop fidgeting," Alice chided while standing behind me, fussing over my hair.

"I can't help it," I answered, peeking up at my friend's reflection in the mirror, gnawing on my lower lip.

Alice crouched down to place her chin on my shoulder, her thin arms wrapping along my torso.

"You do want to go through with this, right?" she ventured softly.

"Alice, what kind of idiotic question is that? Of course, I do."

"Well, then you must calm down. I thought you were ready for this, especially after last night."

Ugh, last night. Visions began to swirl in my head, recalling yesterday's rather heated events. First, I was shocked out of my skin when Jake accosted me at the club, dredging up all the pain I thought I had successfully pushed down to the soles of my feet, only to have them resurface again when the weasel had the audacity to want to explain himself after months and months of no communication. He had ignited a fierce rage within me when he clutched his meaty paws on me not once, but twice. The pain of Jake's hold had subsided a bit when I heard that familiar heavenly voice that always managed to glide over my body like a soft, plush blanket. Except, at the time, his voice was so enraged, so foreign, I was afraid he was screaming at me for a second. However, when Jake released his grip on my arm, I spun around to meet the scorching green eyes of an extremely pissed off Edward.

Though I am not usually a big fan of violence, I have to admit I was slightly turned on by the way Edward came to my rescue, pinning Jake against the wall, his strong hand wrapped firmly against Jake's neck. The way his forearm muscles flexed whenever he would strengthen his hold on Jake, looking so forceful, feral even, made an intense heat brush through me.

_My girl_. Edward called me his girl, to Jake no less, and I had to strongly resist the urge to pull his hand from the douche bag, throw him up against the wall and kiss him senselessly. But then Jake ruined the moment by opening up his fat mouth to spew vile words toward me. Selfish prick. He probably hated to see me with someone else. I bet he thought I would mourn his leaving for the rest of my existence. Fat fucking chance, especially if Edward was calling me his.

Briefly closing my eyes, I recalled the aftermath of mine and Jake's encounter and how I had shamelessly thrown myself at Edward, only to be denied…again. No longer strong enough to reign my emotions in, I pounded and wailed on Edward, only seeing Jake's face in front of me as my alcohol induced haze completely took over my senses. Edward had just stood there, allowing me to continue taking my anger and frustrations out on him until the wave washed over me, purging the last thread-like hold Jake had on my heart. Once I was finished, I felt so free, ready to be rid of the hurt and the resentment, but so damn tired. I fell into the most wonderful slumber while encased in Edward's arms, a restful sleep that I hadn't had in a long time.

When I awoke to an Edward-less side of the bed, I was stricken with fear that he was gone forever, not having the desire to deal with my baggage and accompanying bullshit. However, the pillow beside me crinkled when I shifted, and when I felt around, there was a sweet note from Edward. In that moment, I knew I would never be able to let him go. I wanted him with me forever. I was ready.

"So, what time does he want you up there?"

"Um…I think he said seven-thirty." I felt my face flush with heat again. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

"Hey, Jasper told me that Edward was seeking his advice about making tonight special for you."

"Really?" My lips immediately formed a smile on my face.

"Uh huh. And he also said that Edward was a bit nervous and flustered. So, see, you have nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about?" I repeated Alice's words. "This is Edward were talking about. You know, breathtakingly hot guy, gorgeous body, and huge di…"

"Whoa, whoa! Way too much information, Bells. I do _not_ want to go there about my cousin, so please spare me the deets on his more than substantial…manhood, okay?"

I giggled at the way Alice's face contorted with disgust. "I'm sorry; I'll hold that conversation for Rosalie. Seriously, what if I'm not…enough for him? I mean, we've had amazing physical chemistry so far, and sometimes the sexual tension circling us is so palpable, I would hate for our first time to be so…anticlimactic."

Alice spun me around on the vanity stool so I was face-to-face with her.

"Alright, I'm going to squash that train of thought right now. You, my dear friend, are _more_ than enough for my cousin. As far as the sex goes, the way you two undress each other with your eyes, I highly doubt your first sexual encounter will be uneventful or disappointing. Just be in the moment and feel what comes naturally to you. Everything else will fall into place."

***~*~*~***

Our evening was a success so far. I lost my breath as Edward opened the door and proceeded to pull me into a tight embrace, molding his lips to mine. I was always amazed how he could make my knees wobbly just from what he wore alone. Edward was dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but the way they molded to his body, accentuating all the right parts, made me want to lock him away so no other woman could ever look at him.

Shortly after I handed him a bottle of wine, Edward steered me to the dining area, pulling out a chair for me. When I asked him if he needed any help, he informed me that tonight was going to be all about me and I was going to sit back and relax while he did all the work. It was a major turn on that he was so tough, yet such a gentleman at the same time. I was handed a glass of wine, and after taking that first sip, I immediately relaxed and let thoughts of how this night would end go…for now. Edward was so adorable moving around in the kitchen, preparing our dinner, taking sporadic sips of his beer. I loved the way he knew his way around the kitchen, clicking on the oven light to check if the meal was ready and sautéing vegetables in the frying pan.

The table was set so intimately, a black tablecloth draped over it, and three red pillar candles served as a centerpiece. I was sure that they were new, considering the wick was bright white, not a trace of them ever being lit before. A small smile formed on my face as I recalled what Alice had said about Edward seeking advice from Jasper. I wonder what else he asked Jasper.

Before I knew it, Edward was setting down a delicious plate of food in front of me.

I leaned in a bit, my nose feeling the warmth from the steam that was rising from the chicken dish, and breathed in the aroma. "This smells wonderful, Edward. I can't wait to eat this."

"Well, go right ahead, beautiful. Dig in." He smiled, wiping his hands on a dish towel, and then throwing it on the counter.

"Aren't you going to join me?" A mock pout settled on my face.

"Of course I am. I'm just trying to find some matches," he explained, digging through a drawer. "Ah, here we go." Edward held up a small box.

Sauntering over to the table, he lit a match and extended his arm toward the candles, illuminating them one by one. After blowing the match out and discarding it on a napkin, he took a couple of steps and crouched down beside me. I turned in his direction, as he began to rub along my knees and legs. He flashed me a breathtaking smile while I bowed my head down to be at his level. Placing one of his hands on my face, he caressed my cheek with his thumb as his other fingers curled into the hair at the back of my neck, pulling me toward him.

The moment his luscious lips met mine, I was lost in a cloud of lust. Edward settled himself on his knees as our tongues danced languidly with each other, taking their time exploring and savoring. My hand instinctively made its way through his bronze locks, while the other brushed along the side of his face. Kissing Edward was always an intense experience, igniting an ache between my legs. It took all the willpower I had not to throw myself onto his lap and straddle him. Moaning into his mouth, I shifted in my seat and tried to pull him closer. Unfortunately, the armrest was in my way and as his stomach made contact with it, he chuckled against my lips and pulled back.

"Dinner's getting cold," he said softly. "Let's eat. There's plenty of time for the other stuff." Edward wiggled his eyebrows and grinned.

Edward got up and walked across the room to turn down the lights, allowing the flickering candles be our source of light. He retrieved his beer from the counter and sat down across the table from me. Lifting his beer, signaling he was about to make some sort of toast, Edward began to speak. "Bella, thank you for coming over tonight. I wanted to do something special to let you know just how much I am enjoying this time together. You mean so much to me, Bella, and that's why tonight is all about you."

Blushing profusely, feeling the fire spread over my neck and my face, I raised my wine glass, clinking my glass against his bottle. "Thank you, Edward."

Edward was such a fabulous cook. The flavors from his chicken dish burst in my mouth, garnering lots of "mmm's" from me. He smiled widely, enjoying the way I was gushing over his meal. Once we were done eating, I immediately shot up and started clearing the table, wanting to help clean up.

Edward's hand brushed against my arm, halting my movements. "You don't have to do that, Beautiful. I've got it. Why don't you go over by the TV and pick out a movie for us to watch."

"But I want to help. You just prepared this amazing meal for me. I can't just sit there and do nothing. Not to mention, if you had an extra pair of hands to help you, the faster we could be on the couch watching a movie together."

"Okay, you can help. But it's only because I can't wait to be close to you." Edward stood up, taking his plate with him, and winked in my direction.

One would think we cleaned up with one another daily the way we were working together. It was so comfortable, so…familiar. We settled on a rhythm where I would rinse off the dishes, silverware, pots and pans, and Edward would place them in the dishwater. Of course, it was an added bonus that each time Edward would take something from me, he would come up from behind, brush the hair away from my face, and place open mouthed kisses along the side of my neck. Edward thought it was hysterical the way my skin broke out in goose bumps every time he would kiss me there. It also didn't go unnoticed that whenever he would sidle up to me, his erection would press up against my lower back, making me even hornier than I already was. Apparently, I wasn't alone in my line of thinking.

We settled on watching _Love Spelled Backwards is Love_, as Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me so I could lie between his legs while he leaned against the arm of the couch. I could definitely get used to relaxing like this. I turned slightly and nuzzled my head against chest, crossing my arms and shivering slightly.

"Are you cold?"

"Um, a little," I said, another chill traveling though me.

Edward touched my nose with his hand. "Jesus, you're freezing. Why didn't you tell me?" He moved a little, grabbing the fleece blanket that was draped over the back of the couch, and placed it over me, making sure I was covered. "There. Is this better, baby?"

God, I loved it when he called me little names like _baby_ and _beautiful_. I would never grow tired hearing those words fall from his lips.

"Yes, thank you, Edward," I answered softly, reaching up to place a chaste kiss along the hollow between his collarbone.

As the movie played on, Edward's subtle touches here and there were driving me absolutely crazy. Between his fingers ghosting along my stomach just underneath the hem of my shirt and his gentle kisses he was placing on my temple and on the top of my head, my heart was just about thumping out of my chest. The need for him was so strong; I began to squirm ever so slightly, desperately wanting him to touch me in other places that were demanding his attention.

As though he was reading my mind, Edward decided to guide one hand further up my shirt, his finger dusting over my nipple, causing it to harden instantly. He kept that up until my nipple was completely straining against the lace of my bra, begging to be free and sucked on. He proceeded to give my neglected breast the same treatment, making my breathing speed up as I turned my face to the side, kissing his shirt covered chest. I was losing control quickly, pressing my lower back against his hard length and starting to slightly move up and down rhythmically.

Moaning softly, Edward took his other hand and unbuttoned my jeans, pulling down the zipper slowly. Swaying his fingers from side to side along the waistband of my panties, Edward was taking his time. The build-up was so intense that when he dipped two fingers below the hem, circling the soft skin there, I gasped loudly, unable to hold it in any longer.

I took matters into my own hands and grabbed his thighs while I moved against him a bit harder and faster, causing Edward's breathing to hitch. Edward slid his hand lower down my panties until he cupped my pussy and just held his hand there. I bucked up toward his fingers a little, craving some delicious friction, as I felt the heat he was creating by merely covering me, not moving at all. When I turned my face again, I looked up and locked eyes with Edward. He leaned down as I was stretching up toward him. Feeling the rise and fall of his chest from his heavy breathing, I captured his lower lip and started to lick at it before I sucked on it. He gave the same attention to my upper lip as he finally began to glide his fingers along my lower lips. I felt myself burst with wetness as he toyed with me by touching everywhere but my clit. I fisted his shirt as we began to kiss ferociously, our tongues taking over each other's mouths. I whimpered in his mouth as Edward circled my clit and began to rub his fingers gently there.

Edward took his hand that was playing with my breast and wrapped it around my waist, trying to still my movements against him. "Baby, I told you that tonight was all about you," he whispered. "I want to make you feel so good that you will know how much you mean to me. Let me show you right now by making you come."

I was speechless. I couldn't think of a coherent thing to say when he spoke to me like that. No one has ever wanted for me to be the only one getting pleasure. There was always something in it for them. Not with Edward, though, and that proved to me that maybe he did truly care about me and that I did mean something to him.

I was basking in Edward's stroking and touching, leaning my head back. He took his free hand and swept my hair away so it wasn't covering my neck. His tongue moved along my skin in time with his finger movements against my swollen peak and outer lips.

"Oh, Edward," I panted, raising my hips up in time with his ministrations. "Don't stop…please don't ever stop."

"Mmm, you are so fucking wet, beautiful. I love how wet I can make you."

"Hmm, you don't have to do much. A mere touch is all it takes."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, chuckling into my neck.

"Y-yeah," I stammered, picking up the pace of my movements, my center throbbing at this point.

"How does this make you feel?" Edward inquired, proceeding to dip a finger in my opening and pumping it in and out.

"More, Edward. I need more," I breathed.

Edward placed another finger inside and sped up his movements, making sure the palm of his hand grazed my clit. I turned my head, seeking Edward's lips. I kissed along his jaw while I snaked my arm around his neck from behind, my hand grabbing a fistful of hair. He lowered his mouth to mine and I devoured it. Before I knew it, my entire body was tingling, my stomach in knots.

"I'm so close."

"Come for me, baby. I want to feel you come."

"Oh…my…god…Edward!" I screamed, my orgasm taking over, the heavy pulsating ricocheting through my body.

Edward slipped his hand out of my pants, taking his two fingers to his mouth and sucking on them. "Mmm, so fucking good. I can't wait to really taste you again, Bella."

I turned around, the movement causing the blanket to slide off me and crinkle on the floor. "I want you so badly."

"Me, too, beautiful. Can you hold on a sec? Let me get up and do something real quick. I'll be right back," Edward stated, kissing me softly and getting off the couch. I just lay there, placing my forearm over my eyes, trying to clam my breathing. I knew at that moment I was ready to be with Edward completely. This went beyond the physical chemistry. This was something deeper…something more intense. I knew he felt it as well by the way he handled my body and the way he wanted to take his time in pleasuring me.

He must have taken some time doing whatever it was he needed to do because I fell asleep. I was awakened by Edward rubbing his nose against mine. "Wake up, baby."

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry. How long have I been asleep?" I asked, blinking rapidly trying to adjust to the change in lighting.

"Not too long. Fifteen minutes maybe," Edward answered, lifting me into his arms off the couch. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my head on his shoulder. It was dark now, as Edward must have blown out the candles on the table and turned off the TV.

As he carried me down the hallway toward his room, I smelled something along the lines of vanilla, a soft glow peering out from his open door. Pushing the door open further with his foot, Edward guided me into his room. I lifted my head and gasped as I took in my surroundings. White votive candles in glass jars outlined the perimeter of his room, little flickers of light dancing along the wall casting small shadows. There was soft music playing in the background. I felt the tears starting to prick my eyes as I realized that's what he got up from the couch to do. He prepared this romantic setting for me. It was so sweet and once again, I was speechless. I brought my hand to my lips, covering my mouth, as I shook my head back and forth.

"What's the matter? You don't like it?" Edward frowned, his forehead furrowing with worry.

Immediately, I took my hand from my mouth and smoothed over the worry lines. A single tear escaped my eye, leaving a wet trail down my face. "Don't like it? How could you say something like that? I love it, Edward. It's so beautiful. I'm…I can't…"

"You can't what?"

Another tear slid down my cheek. "I can't believe you did this for me. Thank you," I whispered, leaning in to kiss him along his jaw before seeking his mouth.

"You're welcome," he breathed against my mouth, walking us over to his bed. He sat down, placing me on his lap, my feet draped over his legs. "Bella," he began, as he wiped away my tears, the rubbing my back, "I care so deeply for you. I want you to know that. You are so beautiful, intelligent, and feisty, and I feel myself gravitating towards you more and more. I can't stop thinking about you, even when I am at work and hanging out with my friends. Please believe me when I say that you matter, Bella. You are so fucking special to me and everyday my feelings for you intensify. It's like I need you more and more every day, baby. Never, ever doubt that."

I nodded my head. "You are so wonderful, Edward. First the dinner…now this? I don't know how I have lived without you in my life. You are constantly on my mind and you bring smiles to my face whenever I think about you. You make me excited and nervous. But most of all, you make me feel special, and I haven't felt like that in years…maybe even never." I looked away, his intense gaze was too much for me to handle.

He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger and turned my head so I was meeting his stare. "Please don't look away from me. You don't need to be shy with me, beautiful. I feel the same way. Before you, I was in a fog, wrapped up in my own cloud of sadness. Now, I have you- my bright sun who has burned my dark and stormy clouds away. Bella, there's something I wanted to talk to you about…"

Placing my finger over his mouth, I silenced Edward. I was certain he was about to tell me something about Tanya, given all the talk about him being covered by dark cloud before me, and I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to talk about Tanya when we were encased in our little romantic bubble. I wasn't ready for it to burst yet, considering I was ninety-nine percent sure we were about to have sex.

"Shh, Edward," I ventured softly. "Let's enjoy the rest of our night. I'm sure whatever it is you wanted to talk to me about can wait until morning."

"You're right," he conceded quickly, shaking his head. "I'm such a fucking idiot. I set up this romantic setting for you, and I have to go and talk about dark and stormy clouds. I'm sorry, baby," he said, placing a chaste kiss against my forehead. "Tomorrow, we'll talk."

"Tomorrow," I echoed back, moving so that I straddled his lap. I placed my hands on either side of his face pulling him into a kiss.

I moved my lips against his hungrily. Edward bucked his hips as soon as I started gyrating against his erection. I wanted to feel all of him…now. I broke our kiss, leaning back and pulling off my shirt. Edward mimicked my movements, removing his shirt, revealing his chiseled upper body. My hands roamed over his pecs, a hiss escaped his lips as my fingernails grazed his nipples.

I removed myself from his lap and stood before him as I slowly began to lower my jeans. I kicked them off with my feet once they pooled at my ankles, shedding my panties next. Standing there in only in my red lacy bra, Edward grabbed me by my hips to pull me toward him. His hands ghosted over the swells of my breasts, and it was my turn to hiss. I lowered myself back onto his lap and planted a searing kiss on him. Edward took my bra off, freeing my confined breasts. Leaning in, he took one of my hard nipples in his mouth and began to swirl his tongue around, eliciting an embarrassing moan from me. Instinctively, I arched my back and grabbed his head, gluing him to his spot. Edward's free hand grabbed my ass as he lifted his head and glided his tongue over to my neglected nipple.

Wanting to feel every part of him, I raked my hands down his chest and unbuttoned his jeans. Edward gently lifted me from his body and placed me on my back against his bed. I leaned on my elbows so I could get a nice little view of Edward stripping down to nothing, quickly peeling off his pants and boxers. He flashed me that panty-wetting crooked smile, as I gave him a sly grin of my own back at him. I scanned the breathtaking sight before me. Edward had such an amazing body- he was perfect. My mouth watered at the sight of his hard, long cock. I really wanted to wrap my lips around it and suck on it like a big old lollipop.

I guess I was staring at him a little too long because he chuckled and asked, "Like what you see?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. Leaning my head to the side and running my foot along the calf of my other leg, I beckoned him to me. "Now, come here."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, stalking over to the edge of the bed and taking an ankle in each hand.

Planting my feet to the mattress, Edward ran his hands along my outer thighs, sending tingles of lust through my body. I leaned my head back, enjoying his simple touch. When his hands rounded my knees, Edward moved between my legs slowly, gently pushing apart my legs. Still leaning on my elbows, I brought my head back up and his emerald eyes locked with mine. Edward began to lower himself so that he was resting his knees on the floor, while he hooked his arms under my knees, sliding me toward him. Never straying from our gaze, Edward peppered kisses along my inner thighs and stopped right at my wet center. He was torturously teasing me by lowering his head to seem like he was going to place his lips where I wanted him the most, only to turn his head and kiss my inner thigh again. I let out a small whimper, as the anticipation of his mouth on me was making me pool with moisture.

When Edward began to lower his head one last time, I closed my eyes, awaiting the intense pleasure I knew I was going to receive.

His voice made my eyes snap open. "Hey. I want you to look at me, Bella. And I mean the whole time…I want you to watch me lick up your sweet juices as I make you come with my tongue." With that, he dipped his head and began to tickle my sensitive skin with chaste kisses along my folds.

"Mmm, Edward. I can't take much more. Please quit teasing me," I whispered nervously.

"As you wish," Edward complied, observing my reaction as he darted his tongue out and circled my bundle of nerves.

Taking a sharp intake of breath, I was trying not to close my eyes. Edward's eyes never strayed from mine as he moaned against me while sucking on my clit. I started to move my hips a bit, increasing the friction, as I savored what Edward was doing to me. He grabbed my ass and pushed me up even closer to his mouth. My pulse was thumping through my veins and I was beginning to sweat. I fisted the sheets beside me, willing myself to not look away. Edward was surveying my face, his eyes a hunter green and lust filled. Edward's brushes against my clit turned into flicks as his movements became faster and harder. It was such an erotic experience watching Edward go down on me. I felt like this made it more intimate…deeper. We never tore our eyes from one another as my orgasm was threatening to overcome me.

My tongue was dry from breathing heavily through my mouth, that when I finally spoke, I choked a little. "Oh god, Edward, I'm going to come," I swallowed thickly, trying to create saliva to coat my throat again.

Edward lifted his head silkily whispering, "Just let it go, beautiful. Let go." He drew his tongue upwards again, increasing the pace and speed of his movements, making my frenzied body act accordingly. My legs started to shake and I had to break his eye contact, not able to take it anymore. My head thrashed about from side to side as my hands dug deeper into his bedding.

"Ahh, yes…yes…yes! Oh, Edward!" I screamed, my orgasm hitting me fast and hard. I grabbed hold of his head and yanked him forward. "I want you, Edward. Please."

"God, Bella, you are so gorgeous when you come like that," Edward said as he slowly made his way over my body, placing his hands on the bed, along either sides of my face. He lowered himself to kiss me.

I was overcome with lust and need as I tasted myself on his mouth. Our kisses were slow and languid, as though we were trying to prolong this night for as much as we could. I hitched a leg over his thigh and we both groaned when the head of his cock brushed along my aching wet folds. Edward began playing with my breasts, squeezing them and pinching my painfully hardened nipples. My hands roamed the span of his shoulders before gliding down the length of his arms to seek his hands.

Edward broke our make-out session so he could retrieve a condom from his side table drawer. I bit the side of my lip, severely turned on by watching Edward rip open the wrapper and roll the condom over his huge cock. I had to admit that I was a tad nervous thinking about how his cock was going to fit inside me. It had been an extremely long time since I had been intimate with another person. I was afraid that it would hurt too much to be remotely pleasurable.

Edward sensed my discomfort and he cupped the side of my face. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"I'm just…it's just," I stuttered, unable to find the right words. I closed my eyes and sighed, "I'm afraid that I won't be good enough for you, Edward. It's been a long time since I…well, you know…"

"Bella, you are more than good enough. In fact, you're probably too good for me. I haven't been with anyone in over a year, baby. I understand," he explained, his fingers brushing along my cheek. "We'll go as slow as you want, I promise."

"Okay," I conceded, looking up at him from my lashes.

I pulled him toward me to capture his lips with mine, as Edward settled himself between my legs, his hand gently pushing my legs further apart. I smiled up at him as he ghosted his lips across my forehead. "I can't believe we're doing this," he whispered. "You make me so happy, Bella."

My vision was blurry, as the tears began to pool in my eyes. A few escaped, running down my face quickly. "Edward…" It was all I could get out before Edward bent his head down to kiss me passionately, as he began to enter me at the same time. I clasped my hands along his biceps while he continued to push slowly inside me.

"You feel so good, baby. You're so tight…so hot," he groaned.

The more Edward eased into me slowly, the more I adjusted to his size. Once he was completely sheathed inside me; I wrapped my legs around his waist. Edward began to slowly thrust in and out, a loud moan escaping me. My hips rose to meet his upward motions. Soon, we set a nice steady rhythm, as little noises of pleasure escaped me. I wasn't in pain at all. It was as though my body was made for his as we writhed in harmony. I leaned in to lick and nip along the side of his neck, causing Edward to groan my name over and over. I reached up even higher to nibble on his earlobe, then kissed the soft skin below it. Our pace picked up as our lips met, our tongues dancing together.

One of Edward's hands traveled down the front of my body, slipping between where we were joined, and stopping to play with my clit. That's when I lost it, as my orgasm shook through me, my head falling to his shoulder as I cried out onto his hot, sweaty skin. Shortly after, Edward was moaning my name in a husky, silky voice, pressing his forehead to mine.

He rolled off me and collapsed to the side, pulling me so I was facing him. He reached out and wiped the strands of hair that was stuck to the side of my face, caressing my cheek. Wide grins played along our lips as we tried to calm our labored breathing.

"Wow, that was…" I began.

"Yeah, I know," Edward chuckled, leaning down to kiss me before he got up to clean himself up and blow out all those candles that lined the walls.

When he came back, Edward pulled his comforter over us, and sidled up against my back, enveloping me in a tight embrace. We both moaned contently at the feeling of our naked bodies mingling together, his warmth making me feel at peace…safe even.

I closed my eyes as the fatigue began to take over. However, I had to say what I had wanted to say before. "Edward, you make me happy, too," I breathed, my hands entwined with his, giving them a gentle squeeze.

_I think I am falling in love._

***~*~*~***

I was having the most perfect dream.

I was encased in Edward's strong arms, his hold possessive, as he muttered, "_mine_" into my hair. He was sweeping my hair to the side away from my neck, his touches feathery and light. His lips ticked along, nibbling occasionally to get my attention. His hands began to roam, as they sought solace with my breasts. I arched back as Edward caressed them, his fingers circling my nipples, causing them to pebble instantly. I felt that familiar ache at my core, pulsing harder and harder each time Edward came into contact with my flesh. His hand ran lightly down my stomach to the spot I desired him to touch the most. His fingers brushed along my clit, eliciting a moan from my lips. He slipped a finger inside me, testing my wetness, as he pumped in and out of me a few times before going back to circling my bundle of nerves again. I rocked against his fingers, seeking as much friction as I could.

It was when I felt something warm and hard push up on my ass, that I realized I was definitely _not _dreaming.

I turned around to find Edward leaning on his elbow, crooked smile in place. "Morning, beautiful."

"Mmm, morning," I groaned, extremely turned on and ready for round two.

I reached up and licked his lips before I crashed them into his. Our kisses quickly turned feverish, replacing the slow, languid pace of last night. My fingers wound into his hair, tugging for dear life as I rolled us over so that I was straddling his waist, without breaking our kiss. Edward moaned into my mouth, clutching onto my ass, as I rocked against his hard-on, my extreme moisture making it easy to glide back and forth.

"I want you," I groaned, increasing my pace.

The primal feeling was taking over, and I knew that I wasn't going to last long at all. I needed to be close to Edward in every possible way. I stilled my movements, eliciting a small low whimper from Edward. I turned slightly, reaching to open the night table drawer and grabbing a condom. I quickly tore open the wrapper with my teeth and slid the condom down his shaft.

Raising my hips and moving up a bit, I slowly lowered myself onto his cock, both of us hissing with pleasure when he was fully inside me. I started off rocking in a rhythm, getting used to being in this position. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, letting the feeling flow through me, taking over my senses. I shuddered lightly when I felt Edward's hands explore every inch of my body that he could reach. I placed my hands on his broad chest and leaned down to brush my lips against his.

My breath was taken away when Edward wrapped his arms around my shoulders and shot us up, so that he was sitting with me still connected to him. I immediately wrapped my legs around him; locking my feet together and pushing Edward closer toward me…if that were even possible. He placed his hands on either side of my waist, guiding my movements, and began thrusting upwards. Snaking my arms around his neck, I rested my forehead against his.

I was overcome with intense emotions just then, reveling in the way our bodies were molded together as one. I also knew that I had never felt this passionately about someone before. I never wanted to let Edward go- I was falling for him fast, and I was nervous as to how he was feeling about me. I knew he thought I was special and that he cared a lot for me, but love? I wasn't sure.

I had to bite my lip to keep from shouting, "I love you!" as my release shot out of me. Edward moaned my name over and over as he shuddered when his orgasm hit.

I slowly moved off him, hissing at the loss of contact. Edward got up to throw away the condom, while I stood to retrieve my bra and panties.

"I'm going to take a quick shower," he said, pulling on a pair of boxers. He hugged me from behind and nuzzled his nose in my hair. "Wanna come with me?"

"That sounds wonderful, but I really have to get going. I'm supposed to meet up with Angela today over lunch to discuss the new Social Studies unit we are introducing tomorrow." I rubbed my hands along his forearms, turning my head to look up at him.

He kissed my lips before answering, "I understand, baby. Would you want to grab an early dinner with me later?"

"Of course. That sounds great," I smiled, ghosting my lips along the stubble that sprouted over his jaw line, loving the tingling feeling it was giving me.

Turning me around, Edward planted a searing kiss on my lips. "Will you wait until I get out of the shower? I can't let you leave me just yet."

"Um, sure. I really need to check my e-mail, though to see if Angela got back to me. Do you mind if I use your computer?"

"Sure, babe. Whatever you want. I'll be right back," he said, kissing my forehead before exiting his room.

I slid into my jeans and shirt from the previous night. I made my way over to Edward laptop, finding it already opened, the power light blinking, indicating that it was on. I grabbed the wireless mouse that was sitting next to the computer and glided it along the mouse pad, sparking the computer screen to life.

I pulled out his desk chair and sat down. I ran my fingers through my hair in a sad effort to tame the wild curls that had formed from our sweaty sexcapades, smiling at that thought. I was abruptly slapped out of my reverie when I looked at the computer screen, gasping at what I saw. I leaned in to get a closer look, unable to tear my eyes away as I began to read the contents of the page in front of me.

It was an opened e-mail account that was obviously Edward's. He must have started to write it, and then left it to finish it later. Unfortunately for him, he forgot all about it, because I am pretty fucking sure he most definitely did _not_ want me to see this:

_From: ED1901_

_To: TDluvsEC_

_Subject: Pain and Suffering_

_Dear Tanya:_

_I miss you. I love you. I cannot go on any longer without you. Why did this have to happen? What have I done to deserve this kind if misery? Nothing is helping to fill the huge hole that has chewed its way through my heart. I will never be the same now that you are gone. Why did you have to leave? Words cannot describe the ache that I feel knowing that I will never be with you again. Tell me why you left me! I haven't slept in days, as I wait for you to respond to me in some fucking way just to give me some kind of explanation that you think I can understand. _

_I am nothing but a shell of my former self, merely getting by completing the mundane things necessary to mask the farce that is my life. I eat, sleep, and go to work, and I can barely manage that. Did you know it physically hurts to breathe? I feel as though I am only sucking in stagnant air. I only hope it suffocates me and pulls me under. The only relief I could possibly feel is your loving embrace and your sweet, soft voice washing over me, seeping into the pores of my very soul._

_What the fuck am I going to do without you? You invade my thoughts every minute of every day. I burned all the sheets we used to sleep on- even washing them a hundred times couldn't get that flowery smell of your perfume out. I can't have these constant reminders of you everywhere. I found your favorite brush the other day. You know- the one that glided effortlessly through your beautiful strawberry blonde hair whenever you made me brush it? It was in my dresser drawer. I couldn't bring myself to throw it away because it had some strands of your hair coiled in it._

_I want you to know that no one and I mean absolutely no one, can ever replace you. I will never love again. My heart will always only belong to you, my dear Tanya. Even if I find the strength to become intimate with someone, my heart will never be in it. It will only ever mean just sex to me, I promise you. Please, just please come back to me. I want to walk with you by my side forever. I don't want another woman…just you, sweet girl. Try to get in touch with me in any way that you can. I need to know that you are okay. I need you to tell me that I'll be okay, because truthfully, I feel as though I am walking along a tightrope about to fall into oblivion at anytime. But you know what? I welcome it. I will welcome the pain and suffering falling off that tightrope would cause. Maybe that will prove my undying love for you, and then you can come back to me._

_I'll wait for you forever, Tanya. I love you._

_Always,_

_Edward_

Was I reading this right? Was he writing an e-mail to _the_ Tanya, professing his undying love for her? What the fuck was going on? Did he really still want to be with her? Was Tanya beginning to have a change of heart? Her fucking e-mail address was _TDluvsEC_ for Christ's sake! What the fuck was that? If she broke up with him and didn't want to be with him anymore, why would her e-mail address imply otherwise?

My head was clouded as confusion set in, causing me to become slightly dizzy. I looked at the screen again noticing a _"Tanya"_ folder. I clicked on it to find at least a hundred e-mails sent to Tanya, the most recent being yesterday! Tears pricked my eyes, as they spilled over and washed over my face. How could Edward say the things he said to me last night and have intense sex with me two times, just to not really mean it? I didn't understand what was going on. He told me I was special to him. He told me he cared deeply for me. He told me he thought of _me_ all the time!

Was this a fucking game to Edward? I was beginning to trust him, wanting to love him completely, and starting to for that matter! He was just in this to get laid, to get some needed release that he desperately wanted from Tanya but couldn't at the moment.

I was nothing to him. It was all a huge lie. I wanted to vomit, feeling like a colossal idiot for ever thinking I could open up my heart to Edward. My breathing became shallow, as though I was about to have a panic attack, a feeling I hadn't experienced since the mess with Jake months and months ago.

I felt like the walls were closing in on me, as my pulse thumped rapidly, ringing in my ears, causing me to sweat. I had to get out of this place now! I couldn't ever face Edward again, especially after last night and this morning. I had thought everything changed for the better. This e-mail had slapped me back into reality, forcing me to realize that the closeness and intense passion Edward and I shared was a complete and utter sham. I was nothing but a conquest, a fuck to keep him busy while he waited for Tanya to come back to him. I couldn't go through this again. I _wouldn't_ go through this again.

Swiping my shoes from the floor, I ran like a flash from Edward's room and out of his apartment, slamming the door for good measure. How fucking dare he! As I flew to the elevator and stepping into it, I pressed the button to my floor and leaned my head against the mirrored wall, allowing the emptiness to shower over me.

Once I made it to my apartment door, I unlocked it with a shaky hand. I slammed the door, the vibration from the force causing the picture along the wall to shake a bit. I knew what I had to do and I needed to prepare quickly. I ran into my room, found my cell phone, and called Angela to tell her I needed to go to Forks to visit with Charlie. She could sense something was wrong, no matter how hard I tried to sound aloof. After insisting to Angela that I was indeed fine, faking it the best I could. I called the substitute hotline to call in for a sub to take over my class for the week. Thankfully, Angela said she would take care of copying her lesson plans for me to give to the sub to do with my class.

Lastly, I called Rosalie, informing her that I was coming over. I asked her if I could borrow her car to drive up to Forks, and she said that was fine. She knew something was up, and I promised I would explain when she picked me up.

I knew my voice sounded frantic, but I was running out of time. Edward was going to be out of the shower any minute, noticing that I had left. In my haste, I forgot to close the e-mail out, so he would know that I had read his sad love letter to his darling Tanya. I tried to stifle that thought, as the bile rose to my throat.

I swung open my closet door, grabbed my duffel bag, and began haphazardly plucking shirts and jeans from the hangers. I didn't care what matched with what. Just as long as I had something to wear, I was fine. I moved to my dresser and fisted handfuls of underwear from my drawer, along with some socks. I stuffed a pair of winter boots into the bag and threw on a pair of sneakers. All the while, tears were streaming down my face, my heart aching as I broke out into a loud sob.

That was when Alice burst through my door, running over to me to ask me what the hell was going on? I could barely make out what she was saying, her voice sounding foreign to me, like she was talking through a tunnel or something. I briefly sobbed to her the story of mine and Edward's date- from dinner, to making out on the couch, to the sweet love-making in his bed. Then I lost it, trying not to hyperventilate as I replayed the events of a few minutes ago to her.

Alice pulled me into a protective hug, as she was trying to shush me, promising things were going to be alright.

"How can you say that, Alice?" I screamed. "I just told you what I read in a very disturbing e-mail Edward wrote to Tanya! I mean nothing to him. Last night meant nothing to him!"

"That's not true, Bells, really. Edward cares…"

"Just stop it!" I spat, interrupting Alice's train of thought. "I've been made a fool of yet again. And the sad part is…I think I am falling in love with him, Alice. Me- the person who swore to never let anyone close to me again broke my cardinal rule and started to fall for your asshole cousin!"

"Bella, please believe me when I say that you have nothing to worry about where Tanya is concerned. Edward is with you."

"No he's not! He's still hung up and completely in love with his precious Tanya. I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to spend some time with Charlie up in Forks. I have to get away from here."

"Bella, how are you going to get there? Please don't leave. Go and talk to Edward about this. How about I go and get him for you. There seems to be a huge miscommunication going on here that really needs to be cleared up…like now." Alice reasoned softly.

Zipping up my duffel bag, I swung it over my shoulder and made a swift exit, slamming into Jasper who was standing in the kitchen.

"Sorry, Jasper," I sniffled.

He placed his hands on my shoulders, squeezing them. "Don't do this, Bella. I couldn't help but hear what was going on, and there has to be some sort of good explanation as to why Edward has been contacting Tanya all this time. Just hear him out."

"Shit, not you, too, Jasper! Just leave me alone. I want everyone to leave me be!" I started to move, but the pounding on the front door halted my movements.

"Bella, are you in there? Please open the door. I need to talk to you."

_Fuck! _ Edward was at the door now. I wasted too much time in talking with Alice and now I was trapped inside with Rosalie waiting in her car outside.

"Go away, Edward!" I screamed, hoping that would give him the message to leave me be.

I was wrong.

"Baby, please. I really need to talk with you. I wanted to last night, but…"

I stalked over to the door, and flung it open, surprising Edward in the process. "Don't you dare talk about last night! It's bad enough that what was a completely perfect night has turned into nothing but a farce…a mirage of some sorts!" I couldn't look at him in the face, afraid that I would become powerless, letting my feelings for him overshadow the hurt and anger I was experiencing at the moment.

Edward reached out his hand, attempting to grasp mine. I quickly slapped his hand away. "Don't you fucking touch me, you fucking asshole!" I turned away headed toward Jasper, knowing that Edward wouldn't try anything with him there.

He looked so defeated, and for a moment, I felt sorry for him, wanting to take his pain away and redoing the events of this morning. Then, the contents of the e-mail flashed in my head and those thoughts dissipated, leaving me even more infuriated.

Edward's eyes averted toward the rather large duffel bag that was hanging on my shoulder. He took a tentative step closer to me. "Baby, where are you going?"

God, how I wish he would stop calling me that. It melted my heart every time I heard it, but now, it was just too painful to hear. "Don't…don't call me that." I choked, seeking Jasper's hand for support. He gladly offered it. "It's none of your business where I'm going," I whispered.

"Please, Bella. Can't we just talk in your room? I have wanted to explain to you for some time now."

"Explain what? That this thing between you and me is nothing but a sick joke, a way for you to bide your time before your perfect Tanya comes back to you?" I spat, hearing Alice gasp.

Edward looked horrified, sealing the deal for me that I had to bolt soon.

"Bella! Stop. There's no harm in speaking with Edward," Alice tried to reason, but I wasn't going to listen to any reason, as the claustrophobic feeling came over me again.

"Rose is waiting for me. I have to go," I said to no one in particular, refusing to look anyone in the eye.

Sensing the fog of tension swirling around, Jasper chimed in, "Hey, Edward, why don't you and I go into Alice's room and let these two talk."

"Fine. But I really want to be alone with you, Bella. Don't go anywhere yet until you listen to what I have to say," Edward implored. I felt his eyes on me, but I was too stubborn to face him.

I merely nodded as Edward walked past me, brushing his shoulder against mine, the familiar electric sensation willing me to gravitate toward him. I quickly pushed it down.

Once Edward and Jasper closed the bedroom door, I dashed to the open apartment door. Alice grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "Don't do this. Don't leave, Bella. You're going to crush him."

"Well, then, now he'll know how I felt when I read that e-mail. I'll call you in a couple of days, Alice. Please don't be angry with me. I love you." I walked out into the hallway.

"I love you, too," she called to my retreating form.

I was a complete mess the whole drive to Rose's condo while retelling the entire story to her. She understood why I need to go away, told me to stay strong, and said that she was here for me anytime. I promised her I would call once I got to Forks, thankful that she didn't try to stop me like the others.

***~*~*~***

The four hour drive to Forks was a nightmare. It was a pretty smooth ride, but my emotions were all over the place as I couldn't clear my head. I was trying not to cry too much, not wanting to get into an accident. I waited until I was driving on the familiar streets of my hometown before I began to sob again. By the time I parked in Charlie's driveway, my eyes were extremely puffy and red.

I used my spare key to enter my childhood home, being that Charlie wasn't home yet. I locked the door behind me and walked up the stairs to my old bedroom. I had never been so thankful that Charlie hadn't done anything to my room, leaving it like some sort of time capsule. I craved the familiar right now, not wanting to deal with the changes that were going on in the present.

I plopped my heavy bag on the floor with a loud thump. I emptied my pockets, placing Rosalie's keys on my rickety desk. I considered turning my cell phone back on, since I turned it off the moment I entered Rosalie's car, but decided quickly against that idea, definitely not in the mood to speak with anyone. Tossing my shoes off, I climbed onto my bed, curled up in the fetal position, and cried myself to sleep.

Three days. Three whole days of just sitting here, thinking, not doing much of anything else, save for cooking for Charlie.

Charlie. My poor father was so worried for me, barging into my room and surveying my face, knowing that something was terribly wrong. After the way things ended with Jake, Charlie had become fiercely protective of me, never wanting me to experience that kind of heartache and pain again. So, naturally, when he took in my disheveled appearance when I first arrived, he was stricken with fear that something horrible happened.

I explained to my dad about Edward and me, obviously leaving out the fooling around and sex parts. I was ready for the wrath of Charlie to break free, where he would threaten Edward if he ever hurt his little girl.

What I wasn't ready for, however, was the reaction Charlie ended up giving me. He was the picture of calm as I replayed everything to him, from that first heated encounter with Edward at the fire house, to my reading that heartbreaking e-mail sent to Tanya. All the while, he was just sitting there, nodding and saying the occasional, "Hmm."

When I was finished with my rant, I looked at Charlie, willing him to say something. Finally, he spoke. "Now, you know I'm certainly not an expert on relationships, Bells, but it seems here that this fella wanted to talk to you about something important before you cut him off and told him it could wait."

"But…I.." I started.

"No, it's your turn to listen. What if this Edward guy was going to tell you everything you wanted and needed to know about Tanya? That's probably why he came down to your place, urging you to speak with him before you ran off to hide by me," Charlie interrupted, cocking an eyebrow in my direction.

"I'm not hiding, Dad," I said, feeling guilty for lying.

"Oh, really? Then why didn't you just stay to listen to him? Why drive up here in an effort to avoid everyone and everything? What I'm trying to get at here, Bells, is that unless you speak with Edward about Tanya, you won't really know the truth, driving yourself crazy with conspiracy theories in the process."

"I'm scared. I'm not sure that I really want to know the truth about her. You should have read this e-mail, dad. It was so sad and heartbreaking. Edward loved this woman and it seems as though she just up and left without a good explanation. I'm just filler, nothing in comparison to her," I admitted softly, a tear falling from my eye.

Sighing, Charlie came over to sit beside me on the couch. "You've always been too damn stubborn for your own good. Did you ever stop to think about _when_ he wrote those e-mails, especially the one you read? Did you see if he wrote her every day, every week, once a month? What did yesterday's e-mail say?"

"Oh, I don't know, Dad! I was too distraught to rifle through his mail. The point is that Edward did write those e-mails in the first place," I huffed, crossing my arms.

"Okay. Well, do you know if he wrote that entire folder's worth of e-mails at the time he met you? Maybe he wrote them one year ago when they broke up. My point is, you haven't a clue because you refuse to talk to him…to anyone for that matter! Call him, Bella. Talk to him and stop jumping to the worst conclusion. Not everyone is Jake. Besides, I kind of like this Edward character after coming to my daughter's rescue after that mutt, Jake manhandled you. Edward seems like a decent guy, Bella, and he does seem to care for you. Give him a chance and go home," he chuckled. "As much as I love having you here, I can't see you moping around any longer. I've already gassed up Rosalie's car for you. If you leave now, you'll make it home before dark."

Charlie was right. I needed to go home and face whatever was going on with me and Edward head on. I had to stop hiding and open myself up. Once I was on the road, I finally turned on my phone to find several texts from Alice and Edward. They had also left me voice mail messages. I had to skip over Edward's; knowing hearing his voice would break me right now. The only person I checked in with was Rosalie. Every time I called, she would urge me to call either Alice or Edward- that it was in my best interest if I did. At the time, I was being stubborn, so I didn't bother. However, now that Charlie bestowed his infinite wisdom upon me, I needed to finally find out the answers I had been searching for.

I walked through my door just before four o'clock. I was nervous to face Alice, as I wasn't really being fair to her. I wasn't sure if I should go up to Edward's apartment just yet, so I opted to call him instead. I ended up leaving a voice mail apologizing, and admitting that we needed to talk and that I was home if he wanted to swing by after work or something.

I placed my cell phone down on the kitchen counter and dropped my face into my hands. _Why do I feel like I've made a mess of things? _I rubbed my face and looked up to find Alice standing in front of me, arms crossed, looking…pissed.

"Well, well, well, look who finally came home. Thanks for calling me, by the way. I've been worried sick. At least Charlie and Rose had the decency to tell when I asked that you were fine," she chided.

"God, Alice, I'm so sorry," I said remorsefully lunging toward her, pulling her into a tight embrace.

She hugged me back, signaling that all was forgiven. "I'm glad you came to your senses and came home. I wasn't sure if I'd ever see you again."

"Very funny. So…how's Edward?" I asked, my head hanging low.

"Haven't you read any of his texts or listened to his voice mails? I was there when he wrote those texts and left those messages." Alice led us to the couch as she retrieved my phone and opened it up to show me my texts. I was shocked at how many there were, each one melting my heart as he seemed to be in just as much pain as I was.

_**Bella, where are you? –E**_

_**Please call me. I need to explain everything. –E**_

_**Check your voice mail. –E**_

_**Please talk to me. If you don't want to call me, then at least text to let me know you got to your dad's in one piece. Yes, I know where you are- I considered bribing Emmett with food, but Alice told me instead. –E**_

_**I don't want to explain those e-mails over a voice mail. Please, Bella. –E**_

_**I miss you. I keep thinking of falling asleep with you and the way your body molded against mine, fitting perfectly. I need you to understand my feelings for you. When are you coming home? –E**_

_**I saw how upset you were and it kills me that you left. I promise it's not what you think, baby. I know you don't want me to call you that, but I can't help it- you are. I'm so fucking sorry. Just call me, please. –E**_

By the time I heard all the voice mails and read the texts, I was crying into Alice shoulder.

"See, I told you Edward cares for you. I think he's falling in love with you, too. He didn't have to tell me, the look on his face and the way he was acting was all the proof I needed," Alice informed me softly. "He's barely eaten and Emmett had to drag his ass to work for the past couple of days, and upon his return, he would come down and knock on our door to see if you had come home yet."

"I need to see him. Where is he?" I sniffled.

"He flew to Chicago, Bella…to see Tanya. It's been long overdue."

"Oh, I see. Well, it's for the best then. Maybe she'll take him back or something…" I choked out.

"Bella," Alice sighed, "She's not going to take him back. Trust me."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because she's dead. Tanya is lying in a cemetery, Bella. That's what Edward's been trying to explain to you. He started writing e-mails to Tanya about a week after she died. It was his only way to get by. He's never even visited her grave. He was too distraught to even go there on the day of her funeral. But, now in light of what's happened with you, I've convinced him to go see Tanya and make peace with her…so he can move on with you. He wants _you_, Bells. You really have no idea what you mean to him, do you?"

"N-n- no. I guess I don't," I stammered, sinking in lower into the couch.

I felt like the most insensitive person in the world. How could I have been so damn stupid? Tanya was never going to respond to Edward's e-mails as she would never have the opportunity. She would never be with Edward again because she was…dead. I have been feeling jealous and insecure about a woman who was not even part of this life anymore. Why couldn't I have just listened to Edward when he was pleading with me to hear him out? I should have been more observant to the looks of pain etched on Edward's face when Tanya's name was mentioned. My insides twisted in disgust as I remembered what I spat out at him about Tanya before I ran away to hide in Forks. Yes, I was hiding and acting like a stubborn child, and now it was going to cost me Edward if I don't do something about it.

"Shit, Alice, I have to make this right. Edward tried to tell me that night before we had s-…before we made love. I have to go to him now. I need to be there for Edward. I want to tell him that I'm not going anywhere as long as he wants me with him. I'm in love with Edward, Alice." I shot up from the couch and ran over to where I had dropped my bag. I slung it over my shoulder and turned to my smiling pixie friend.

"Well, are you coming or not?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Coming where? To Chicago?" Alice asked incredulously.

'Yes. I need you, Alice. Please say you'll come with me to take me to Edward. I owe him," I said thinking back to all those days ago when Edward saved me from spiraling down after my confrontation with Jake. I remembered how Edward told me he was sure that he would need me one day.

Now was that time. I was going to go find Edward, make him mine, and never let him go.

* * *

**So, what did you think? Some of you had already guessed that Tanya was no longer with us. It was our intention the entire time to have her dead, so it was fun reading the reviews from those who thought Tanya was going to come back or that Edward should just, "get over it already." Our favorite review had to be when it was said that Edward was a crazy stalker...lol! Poor Eddie :(**

**Next up, we find out how Tanya died. Pauline is knee deep in writing the next chapter, so the wait won't be so long. Remember: REVIEWERS GET A TEASER. So click that green button- it's that easy!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: We have a few things that we need to get out there before we start. **

**First and foremost thanks to our wonderful betas Sweet ****Dulcinea, Keepingupwiththekids, and Dolphin62598. Without them I would have to hang my head in shame while you all knew how bad I was with comma placement. Muah to the three of you!**

**To our wonderful reader, and Chicago Native, BE4Evr who we bow down to. She allowed us two East Coasters to pick her brain about all things Chicago since I don't know the first thing about the ins and outs of that great city and we wanted to make our portrayal of Edward's hometown as realistic as possible. You will see much more of her help in the upcoming chapters but she did give me some pointers for this chapter as well.**

**Warning…tissues or hankies might be needed for this chapter (at least I needed them when I was writing it), so be forewarned!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. We own dirty thoughts about Robert Pattinson.**

**Chapter 13**

***EPOV***

I stood in the shower and let the hot water run down my body. I wished Bella had agreed to shower with me, but there would be other opportunities for that. My mind kept replaying everything that had happened last night and this morning. Bella was incredibly sexy and beautiful. The way she rode me this morning had been so fucking hot. I was getting hard again just thinking about it. Maybe I could convince her to go for another round before she had to leave to meet with Angela.

_I could be rather convincing when I needed to_, I thought as a wicked grin splayed across my face.

I rinsed the last of the soap off my body before I turned to shut off the water. I got out of the shower and reached for my towel. I dried myself off and wrapped the towel around myself, leaving it slung pretty low on my waist. I was not above playing dirty in order to get her to stay just a little bit longer.

"Oh Bella," I called out in my most seductive voice as I opened the door to my bedroom.

I looked around but she wasn't there. I walked out into the living room thinking that maybe she was watching TV but didn't see her. I called out for her again as I walked into the kitchen but that was empty too.

_Hmmm,_ _maybe she_ _was in more of a rush to meet Angela than I thought_.

I walked back into my room to see if maybe she left me a note. I looked over at my bed but there was no note on the pillow. It was only when I walked over to my desk to see if there was a note there that I froze in place. I started panicking immediately when I saw the email to Tanya that I had been reading yesterday up on the screen.

_Holy shit!_

I had totally forgotten that I had planned to read it after I went jogging, so I never closed out of it. I had gotten too tied up in planning my night with Bella. When I left her apartment after breakfast I ran to the grocery store to get food for our dinner. I had gone to some store that Alice had told me about to get all the candles that I put around my room because we sure as hell didn't have that kind of shit lying around our apartment. Bella had just asked me if she could check her email and there was no doubt she saw that as soon as she moved the mouse! If that wasn't bad enough, it was the first damn email I ever wrote to Tanya. If she hadn't noticed the date she would think I just wrote that. God, we had just made love for the first time and now this.

I ran over to my dresser and grabbed the first shirt and sweatpants I could find and threw them on. I slipped my sneakers on, not even bothering to tie them, and ran out the door. I was too impatient to wait for the elevator, so I burst into the stairwell and ran down the flights of stairs to her floor.

As soon as I got to her and Alice's door, I tried to just open it, but it was locked so I started pounding.

"Bella, are you in there? Please open the door. I need to talk to you."

I heard her say she didn't want to talk to me and my heart broke. Not just because I was hurt, but also because I knew I had hurt her. I had tried to explain everything to her last night, but when she told me to wait until today I agreed with her because seriously, what girl wants to hear about your ex-girlfriend right before you are about to have sex with them?

I tried explaining through the door that I really needed to talk to her so I could straighten all this out. When she flung it open I felt horrible. She had tears streaming down her face. She looked just as hurt as she had the night we got home from the club. The only difference was that this time Jacob hadn't caused that pain in her…I did.

I wanted to hold her, to make all her pain go away, but when I reached out to her she slapped my hand away and told me not to touch her. Those words hurt worse than if someone were stabbing me repeatedly in the heart. Not more than an hour ago we were both touching each other in the most intimate of ways, now she didn't even want me anywhere near her.

It didn't escape my attention that she had a big duffle bag over her shoulder, but she told me it was none of my business when I asked her where she was going.

I think Jasper sensed that this situation was getting really hard on both of us, and he suggested we go in Alice's room so that Bella and Alice could talk. I knew if anyone could get Bella to see reason and talk to me so I could explain, it would be Alice. I agreed to give them a moment alone so that Bella would calm down and let me talk.

I walked into Alice's room, put my hands down on her desk and hung my head. I heard Jasper walk in behind me and shut the door. He made his way across the room and I felt him put his hand on my shoulder.

"Look," he said, "I only heard a small part of the conversation between Alice and Bella before you got here, so I don't know exactly what is going on, but I do know it has something to do with you and your ex-girlfriend. You are a great guy and we are becoming really good friends, but Bella is like family to me. I have known her since we were little, and if you don't have a damn good explanation as to why she found something upsetting this morning, you are going to have me to answer to bro."

I turned around and looked at him. I knew he was serious. He loved Bella like a sister, and I didn't blame him at all for the way he felt.

Jasper's expression softened a little bit before he leaned back against the wall. "Edward, I know that Tanya passed away. I have never brought it up to you because Alice told me that you don't like to talk about it at all, and when she told me that you were moving here to Seattle to try and help get you back into the land of the living, I didn't really think it would be conducive to bring it up. Hell…Alice doesn't even like to talk about it. I don't even know how Tanya died. I just remember that about a year ago Alice told me that she had to go home to Chicago immediately because your girlfriend had passed away. She was a mess emotionally, but after she got back she was very closed off about it and didn't speak of it, so I didn't ask. I figured that if or when she was ready, she would come to me. But now with all this going on, I feel like I have to go out on a limb here and ask you straight up…what the hell happened with Tanya? How did she die?"

Just hearing her name and the word 'die' in the same sentence felt like I was drowning. It brought back all the pain I felt when I first found out I lost her. I sat down on the edge of Alice's bed, put my head in my hands and started pulling at my hair. Jasper walked over to the desk and dragged the chair across the room so that he was sitting facing me.

"It happened just over a year ago. I was at the firehouse working a double. It was around three o'clock in the afternoon when Tanya called me. Whenever I worked, we would touch base with each other throughout the day. She told me about her day so far and then told me that she was going to have dinner with her friend Jane that evening. I told her to have a good time and that I would see her around midnight when I got done with my shift. We said 'I love you' to each other and hung up. About two hours later the alarm blared setting us all in motion. An electrical fire had started in an abandoned store at the bottom level of a six story apartment building. There was something vaguely familiar about the building, but I didn't have the time to think about how I knew it. I just figured that since I grew up in Chicago my whole life most buildings would be familiar to me."

I stopped for a minute and took a deep breath before looking up at Jasper. He gave me a sympathetic nod indicating that he was following me and that I should continue.

"We got there in record time and started doing everything we could to assist with evacuations and stabilizing the spread of the fire. It appeared that most of the tenants on the lower floors had made it out, but the fire had spread very quickly and the people on five and six were still up there and not able to get out. There were three apartments on each floor. There were flames and smoke coming out of the windows on the top two floors and we didn't see any sign of life. We started sending guys in while the rest of us stayed outside manning the hose, sending water up into the windows to stabilize the fire."

"After about an hour, we managed to get the fire out, and once we did, we got the sad news that the guys who were sent into the building were just finding bodies. There appeared to be no survivors from those two floors. My captain sent half of us back to the house with one of the trucks while the guys who had just come on duty when we first left stayed back and assisted the ambulance and coroner in accounting for the bodies."

I started tensing up as I sat there looking at Jasper. There was no part of this story that I liked talking about, but this next part in particular was one that had haunted my dreams every day since it happened.

"When I got back to the firehouse, I grabbed my cell phone on the way to take a shower and tried calling Tanya to explain why I was running late and that I would be home shortly. Her cell phone went to voicemail, so I hung up and tried the house phone. When she didn't answer that I got a little worried because it was now one o'clock in the morning and she should have been home already. I figured she was probably sleeping and I would just wake her when I got home. I took a quick shower, got dressed, and grabbed my stuff so I could head home. I was walking out of the firehouse when I passed The Captain's Office. I looked in to say goodnight when I saw him sitting at his desk with his head down looking very somber. I asked him if everything was okay, and when he looked up at me I knew something was terribly, terribly wrong."

"It wasn't uncommon for us to feel grief when there were fires where there was a loss of life, but this was different, this was personal. He told me that he was actually just about to come find me because he needed to talk to me."

I turned on the bed and stared at the wall. I couldn't look at Jasper when I told him this part.

"He asked me if I had talked to Tanya today. I was a little taken aback by the question because I had no idea why he would be bringing up my fiancé. I told him that I had. He then asked me if she was supposed to be going out anywhere tonight. Again, I was baffled by his line of questioning but I answered him. I told him that she was going to dinner with her friend Jane. As soon as Jane's name fell from my mouth something in my head clicked. I knew why that building had looked familiar to me. Jane lived in that building."

My eyes immediately filled with tears as I put my face in my hands. I felt stupid crying in front of Jasper, but there was honestly nothing I could do to stop the tears from falling. This was why I never spoke of the situation. This was also why Alice didn't tell anyone about what happened. She was trying to protect me. She didn't want people to slip and say anything about it around me so if the person didn't already know on their own what happened she just kept them in the dark.

"My Captain went on to confirm my worst fears. He said that right before he left the fire to come back to the firehouse, one of the guys came up to him with Tanya's wallet. He said he found it in one of the apartments and that in that apartment they had removed the bodies of two adult females. I just sat there stunned, Jasper. He reached into his pocket and handed me her wallet. I didn't say anything. I just stood up and walked out of his office. I walked straight out of the house and up the street to my apartment. This had to be wrong, maybe she left her wallet there after she left Jane's apartment. My pace picked up and I started running. I ran into the lobby of my building and up the three floors to our apartment. I burst in and started yelling her name. I ran into the bedroom expecting her to be standing there sleepy eyed and lecturing me for screaming and scaring her half to death. But when I opened the door and flipped on the light, the bed was empty and hadn't been slept in. I started hyperventilating. I ran back into the living room and saw that the answering machine light was blinking so I pushed play. When I heard Tanya's voice I started to calm down. I was certain she was going to tell me that she was still out and would be home later than she expected, but instead she told me that it was five o'clock and she and Jane decided to order in food to Jane's apartment and were then going to watch a movie."

By this point, my tears had turned to sobs, and I felt the bed lower a bit as Jasper sat down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder in order to offer me comfort.

"I remember falling to my knees and breaking down. Shortly after that a police officer showed up at my apartment and confirmed what the Captain had told me. My life as I knew it was over and it was all my fault. If only I had known she was there, I would have gotten to her. I would have ran through the flames and the smoke and gotten her out of there. But because I didn't do enough, she died. I couldn't even go to her funeral because of all the guilt and pain I felt. I regret that now because I feel like that was the second time I wasn't there for her when she needed me most, but it was just too hard to go to that place. The last time I saw her she was a vibrant, beautiful woman who had her whole life ahead of her. She is more than just a headstone and she doesn't deserve to be six feet under."

Jasper squeezed my shoulder. "I'm so sorry man, I had absolutely no idea. You have to know by now though that this is not your fault. I can only imagine how it would feel to be in your shoes, but you are a smart guy. There is nothing you could have done to stop this or change the outcome. It was one of those freak accidents."

I looked over at him and gave him a small nod. I knew he was right in my logical mind, but my heart never allowed me to let go of the guilt. My one true job in life was to take care of her and keep her safe, and I had failed. Not only did she die, but she died in a fire. It was just too coincidental for me to ever be able to feel like it wasn't my fault.

"Tell me, Edward," Jasper said softly, "where do these emails come in to play?"

I took a deep breath, wiping away the tears that had spilled down my face.

"I was never able to go to her gravesite, as I told you. I was always jealous of the people that I had seen in cemeteries before who were able to sit and talk to their loved ones. Whatever your religious views are, I feel like if you talk to them, they can hear you. I wanted so much to talk to her, but I just couldn't bring myself to go. The week after her funeral I had been drinking a little too much. I decided to check my emails for the first time since that day. When I opened my inbox, there was an email from Tanya that she had sent me the day she died. The email was nothing serious, just saying hello and that she loved me. Sometimes I was able to check emails from work, so she would often send me little notes just to say hi. Well, in my drunken stupor I hit reply and wrote her back. It was the email that Bella actually read today. I had opened it yesterday to read it. I didn't even remember writing it until I opened my email the next day. I felt stupid for doing that, but then I got the idea that this would be the way that I could talk to Tanya. I knew she would never write me back but when people talk to gravesites they don't expect someone to talk back to them. It's just a way to speak to the person and feel like you are still connected. I know from the outside looking in it seems a bit crazy, but it worked for me. It helped me through some tough times, but I knew after meeting Bella that I had to stop. I knew that as hard as it was going to be I had to make peace with the Tanya situation. I will never forget her, or stop loving her, but I know she would want me to be happy and give my relationship with Bella a fair chance. I actually wrote her for the last time yesterday to say goodbye. I sent my last email."

Jasper and I both looked up at the same time when we heard Alice clear her throat. She was standing in the doorway. I hadn't even heard the door open.

"Sorry," she said. "I didn't want to interrupt, but I really needed to talk to you."

I stood up and quickly started to walk towards the door. I needed to talk to Bella.

"Is she still in the living room? Is she willing to hear me out now that you have spoken to her?"

Alice stopped me right as I was about to walk out of her room. "Edward, she's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone? Where did she go?"

"She went to stay at her father's house for a little while. I tried to get her to stay and talk, but she is really upset."

The look on my face seemed to pain Alice.

"Edward just give her a few days. She'll come around. She will eventually have to come back for work and she will not be able to avoid you forever. You will be able to talk to her when she gets back, and this whole thing will be straightened out."

"I don't want to wait a few days. I hurt her. I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be the guy who hurts her ever, Alice! I need to talk to her today."

"Okay, okay," she said. "Forks is about a four hour drive from here. Just give her time to get there and then you can try calling her."

I looked over at Jasper who was still sitting on the bed. "Thanks, man, for listening to me. I haven't told that story in almost a year, and as hard as it was, I think I needed it."

Jasper got up, walked across the room and gripped his arms around me. I have to admit that I wasn't big on the male hugging thing, but for some reason I really needed this. Jasper was practically family and he always seemed to know what to do and say in any given situation to make you feel better. He pulled away and put his arm around Alice, who rested her head into his chest.

"Edward, I'm always here for you, man. You are going to be my family one of these days," he said as he squeezed Alice tighter into his side. "I'm always here to talk if you need to get a guy's opinion."

"Thanks, man." I extended my arm and we shook hands. I then walked out of Alice's room, across the living room, and out the front door. I made my way back up to my apartment. I walked straight back to my room and sat down at my desk. For the second time in my life, I felt like I failed the woman that was most important to me in my life. The first time I had done it, there was nothing I could do to fix it. Once it was done it was final, but this time I was determined to fix this. I had to show Bella that I was not going to hurt her and that she could trust me. I would do whatever it took to finally start fixing myself so that I could be the guy that she deserved. I wasn't sure how to go about doing this, but I knew what first step I needed to take. I put my hand on the mouse of my computer and moved the arrow over the folder titled _Tanya_. I took a deep breath while a tear ran down my cheek. I highlighted the folder and then hit delete.

* * *

The next two days were shitty. I started out staying in my room, not really talking to anyone. I hadn't been prepared for my two worlds to collide in this fashion. It brought back all the old pain of Tanya and added on the new pain over Bella. It was just too much for me to handle. The only time I would leave my apartment was to go to work. When I was there, I did everything I could to keep myself busy. If we weren't out at a fire, I would spend my time cleaning the truck, kitchen, bathroom, whatever needed it. I had tried calling Bella a couple dozen times, but it kept going right to her voicemail and she didn't respond to my text messages. Alice finally gave in and called her father's house phone. Her father told Alice that she was okay but wasn't taking phone calls from anyone.

On the second day after Bella had left, I was headed back to my apartment after a long ass day at work. I was exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep. That clearly wasn't on Alice's agenda. She was waiting for me in the lobby of our building with a big bag of Chinese takeout and insisted that I come up and hang out with her for a little while in her apartment.

"Come on Edward," she whined, "I'm lonely too. Come and hang out for a little while and eat some dinner with me. I really want to talk to you about something anyway."

I was really in no mood for one of Alice's heart-to-hearts but at the same time I knew she was worried about me. She was worried about Bella too, so I gave in and followed her to the elevator.

When we walked into her apartment, Alice made her way over to the coffee table and started clearing it off and throwing pillows on the floor.

"Uh, what are you doing?" I asked

"Clearing off the table so we can sit here and eat. I was going to put a movie on."

Immediately, I got flashbacks of the night Bella and I had our little picnic here and she had made me pizza.

"I'd prefer if we just ate at the table. I am tired anyway and don't think I will make it through a whole movie. You said you wanted to talk to me, so why don't we just sit at the table so we can eat and talk."

Alice looked at me a little weird before shrugging her shoulders and saying, "Suit yourself."

We walked into the kitchen and started unpacking the Chinese food containers. After we had food on our plates, we started eating and did so in silence for several minutes.

Alice finally broke the silence. "Edward, I think we really need to talk about things."

"And just what _things_ did you want to talk about exactly?"

Alice sighed, put her fork down and then looked at me like she meant business.

"Edward, I have really tiptoed around you for the past year. I knew how much you missed Tanya, how much you blamed yourself, how much pain you were in. I made every excuse in the book to myself as to why I should keep this whole situation a secret from even those who are closest to me. I thought that if I gave you the space you needed that you would snap out of it on your own. When you finally agreed to move out here to Seattle, I was thrilled. I was determined to help you start your life over. I was constantly worrying every time I would hear from Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle on the phone. They didn't know what to do for you anymore. Then you met Bella and the two of you clicked and seemed to really be falling for each other, and now things have blown up and I feel like it is all my fault."

"Your fault?" I asked her. "How could you think any of this is your fault?"

"Because I got you out here and pushed the two of you together, knowing damn well you were still sending those emails to Tanya. So I pushed you into something that you might not have been ready for, and I pushed Bella into something without giving her all the facts of your situation to see if it was something she could handle right after Jacob screwed her over."

I got up from my seat and walked over to sit in the chair to the side of Alice.

"Alice, when I tell you that none of this is your fault, you have to believe me. If it was anyone's responsibility to tell Bella about my past, it was me. She had even asked me about it and I told her I wasn't ready to talk about it. And you couldn't push Bella and me into anything that we didn't want to be pushed into. It just sucks that this all blew up now because I honestly had written my last email to Tanya. That is why my emails were even up for Bella to find in the first place. I am almost not sorry that Bella found the email because it forced it all out in the open, I am just sorry that she read what she had to read because it was an email from a long time ago, when I was very much raw and in pain. It said something about me never being able to feel that way about anyone else. I think that made Bella second guess how I felt about her. It is a fucked up situation. I just hope it is not too late to fix it."

Alice looked at me long and hard, obviously contemplating what she wanted to say to me next.

"Edward, I am genuinely happy to know that you wrote your last email to Tanya, but I think that if you are going to really start to heal from this, you are going to have to do more."

"Like what?" I asked unsure of where she was going with this.

"You need to go back to Chicago. You need to go to the cemetery."

A wave of panic started to rush over me. I thought that I had made giant leaps these past few days. I wrote my last email, I deleted all the ones I had saved, but going back to Chicago to the cemetery…that was just too much for me to wrap my brain around right now. I had never been to the cemetery. After the funeral mass, I went straight to a bar and got plastered. I couldn't follow the funeral procession to her grave site. I couldn't bear to witness her being laid to rest. That just made the whole thing too real and I couldn't do it. I even found myself driving detours totally out of the way if I would have to pass the cemetery in my car.

Alice sensed my hesitation and put her hand on my shoulder. "Edward, I know this is really hard for you to hear, and will be even harder for you to do, but it is the only missing piece left. If you are going to have a fair shot at being the man that Bella deserves then you have to go to Tanya's grave and make peace with all the damn guilt you carry around about her death."

I looked at her flabbergasted.

"Don't look so shocked. You really couldn't think that I didn't know that you blamed yourself for her death. Edward, you know that it wasn't your fault. If Tanya could talk to you one last time, she would tell you it wasn't your fault. Carrying around that kind of guilt is going to keep you in the same place forever. You need to do this for Bella but even more than that…you need to do this for you. Now is the perfect time to go. Bella is home dealing with the stuff in her head, and I think you should do the same."

I stood up from the table and dumped the remainder of my dinner into the trash, clearly losing my appetite. I then threw my plate into the sink with entirely too much force. I put my hands on either side of the sink and bowed my head, breathing erratically. Alice stayed seated, giving me a chance to calm down a bit.

"Thanks for dinner Alice. I just need to be alone right now." I walked by her and put my hand on her head so she knew I wasn't angry at her, just overwhelmed by everything that had conspired over the past few days.

After I got back to my apartment, I made my way into my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed. I was physically and emotionally exhausted, but I knew that I wasn't going to be able to sleep any time soon. I got up and walked over to my dresser and picked up the picture frame that I left faced down of Tanya and me. I rubbed my finger over her face and just stared. I took a deep breath and flipped the frame over and opened the clasp in the back removing the picture from inside. I held it and stared at it for another moment before I slipped it into my back pocket and put the frame back on my dresser. I ran my palm down my face, feeling defeated. Walking over to my closet, I grabbed a large duffel bag off the top shelf and started throwing in clothes. I walked out of my room and grabbed some necessary things from the bathroom before walking down the hall and stopping into Emmett's room. He looked up at me when I walked in.

"Hey man. Going somewhere?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I'm gonna be gone for a couple of days. I hate to put this on you, but do you think you can take care of my shifts at work?"

Emmett looked at me with compassion and understanding. "Go take care of whatever it is you need to do. I will take care of work."

"Thanks, man, I owe you one."

"As long as you make things right for Bella…that is all I want."

I nodded and made my way through the apartment and down the elevator. I walked out the front door of our building to make my way over to my car when I noticed a car sitting in front with the engine on. The window of the passenger side door rolled down and Alice gave me a little nod.

"Get in. I'll give you a ride to the airport."

I gave a small, half-hearted smile and walked toward the car, throwing my stuff into the back seat. I got into the car, and with my cousin by my side I started the journey that was going to take me back to the one place I had avoided for the past year. I had to make peace with my past in order to start my future.

* * *

By the time I got to the airport and got on a flight out to Chicago, it was close to midnight, so I didn't get home to my parent's house until the early hours of the morning. I had called my parents from the airport when I was still in Seattle just so they wouldn't be startled when I showed up in the middle of the night.

My mother was waiting up for me when I got home. She was sitting in the living room in her robe when I walked in the front door. She got up and gave me a hug as I entered the house.

"I'm so glad that you have finally decided to visit the cemetery, Edward. I've been worried about you for so long. Alice has been keeping me in the loop about you and her friend Bella. When she told me how you two were hitting it off, I started to feel some relief, but I knew that you would have to deal with all the stuff you left behind you here. If this girl is helping you towards that then she must be really special and worth it."

"She is, Mom," I said through deliriously tired eyes.

"Go to sleep. You still have a few hours before the sun rises. I have made up the bed in your room."

I pulled my mother into a tight hug and kissed her on the top of the head. She nudged me towards the stairs and I dragged my ass up to my old room. I didn't even bother changing my clothes. I just slipped my jeans off, fell into the bed and let sleep take me over quickly.

* * *

When I woke the next day, it was close to two o'clock in the afternoon. I rolled over onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. It felt surreal waking up in my old bedroom. I hadn't slept here in years because even when I was still living in Chicago I had my own apartment. It felt surprisingly comforting being here, though, knowing what I was about to do today. For a moment, I allowed myself to be the kid that grew up in this house before all the things in my life were turned upside down.

I heard my cell phone beeping, indicating that my battery was going to die since I hadn't charged it since before I left Seattle. I sat up in bed, throwing my legs over the side, grabbed the phone and shut it off before plugging it into the charger. I really didn't need to talk to anyone right now anyway.

I got up, took a quick shower and dressed before making my way downstairs. The house was quiet since both of my parents were at work. When I walked into the kitchen, I saw a note on the table from my mother letting me know that she and my father would be home around five-thirty and she would make dinner for us. She also left me the keys to her car in case I needed them.

I opened the refrigerator but instantly decided that I wasn't hungry and that I needed to just do this already and stop prolonging it any more. I grabbed Esme's keys and my jacket and headed out the door. Before I made my way to the cemetery, I stopped at a flower shop and picked up some flowers. Tanya always liked sunflowers, so I thought they would be fitting.

I headed to the North Side towards the Rosehill Cemetery. The closer I got, the more anxiety I started to feel. My chest felt like it was tightening and my palms were sweating. I never had a real anxiety attack, but I had to imagine this is how one felt. It wasn't until I pulled up to the main gate of Rosehill, in front of the massive stone entrance that looked almost like a castle, that I realized I was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles were white.

_Fuck, Edward, get it together. _If I didn't calm down, I was liable to pass out and then this whole trip would be for nothing. I needed to do this. It was something that I should have done a long time ago. I owed this to Tanya.

I shut the car off, grabbed the flowers, got out and walked through the gates. I had never been here to see Tanya but I had been here to visit my grandparents' graves before so I knew the layout of the place. I knew the general area where Tanya's grave was.

I walked around for about ten minutes in the vicinity where I had been told she was, looking at the different headstones as I passed them. I got to the end of a row in the middle and walked up to the next one. I was halfway down when I stopped short, my breath completely leaving my body.

_Tanya Elizabeth Denali_

I stood facing her grave completely silent and completely expressionless for what felt like an hour, but was probably closer to ten minutes. I didn't think I could will myself to do anything, but I dug down deep and allowed myself to take tentative steps forward. I walked up to the stone, wiping away the leaves and debris that had landed there when the trees shed themselves bare for the fall. I felt a single tear fall down my cheek as I stared at the cold, hard stone that was now the representation of the warm, soft woman who I had loved so much.

I noticed that there were older flowers there that were withered now. I squatted down to have a closer look and saw the little card on them indicated that they were from her parents. I removed the old bouquet so that I could discard of them properly and placed my fresh bouquet down in their place.

A cold wind blew and I zipped my jacket up further and then took a seat Indian Style on the ground by her headstone.

I sat there in silence for a long while just running my fingers along her name on the headstone.

"Can you feel that I am here, baby? I'm so sorry it took me this long to get here. I always seem to be getting to you too late," I said, my voice trembling.

"If I could go back in time, I would like to say that I would have come here the day of your funeral, but I don't know if I can honestly say that I would have done it differently. It was just too hard to see that. It was hard enough seeing your coffin at the wake and the church, but seeing you put in the ground…I couldn't do it.

The day of the fire…I didn't know. I didn't realize that was Jane's apartment. Not that I didn't do everything I could to help people who I thought were strangers. That is my job. But if I had known you were in there…I would have ran into the flames. I would have died myself getting up to you and making sure you got out of there. Not a day passes that I don't think about 'what if?' I know realistically there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome, but I still always think 'what if?'

This past year has been hell. I have tried to function so that I didn't worry my poor mother. Work was the one distraction that I had, but I will be honest with you. I have always loved my job. It was something that was completely my own. Something that made me feel alive and like I had some self worth. But after you died, part of my love of the job died with you. I would still give it my all when I was there because the people who were putting their lives in my hands deserved that much from me, but privately, I felt like a failure. I felt like I didn't deserve to even wear the uniform anymore because of all the people whose lives I had saved…the one person who I was vowed to take care of and protect…I didn't. I couldn't."

I sat quietly for a bit after that. Just needing to think about what I was saying. Some of the stuff that was coming from my mouth were definitely thoughts that I had consciously before, while other revelations were surprising even to myself. I had never realized that I had lost some of the love of my job after Tanya died. I still had pride in my profession, but I myself felt that I was a failure at it. I didn't feel like a hero. I felt like someone who was now constantly trying to prove something to myself and everyone around me when I was at work. Trying to get there one step faster, trying to give it one percent more than everyone else. Everything was a race to make up for losing her. My job wasn't my job anymore. It had become my penance.

"I guess I should get to the second part of what I need to tell you today. As you know, I moved to Seattle to be closer to Alice. I have told you about Bella already. She and I are trying to give it a shot. It is not something that I was prepared for. If you had asked me before I moved to Seattle if I would even consider dating someone, I would have told you 'no way', but she came into my life as a friend and grew into something much more. My feelings for her scare the hell out of me because I never thought I would feel this way for anyone again after you, but someone up there is giving me a gift of a second chance.

She read an email that I sent to you about a year ago, and I think combined with the fact that she was hurt in a past relationship, she misinterpreted it and she was hurt. I knew the emailing needed to stop, but it wasn't until Alice convinced me that I really needed to come here and visit personally that I knew she was right. Coming here was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but the more I sit here and talk, the better I feel.

The letters that I emailed to you allowed me to express what I was feeling in the exact moments, but sitting here right now I feel your presence. The coldness that has filled my heart since the day you died feels a little warmer. I know you are here with me and although I don't feel like I deserve it…I feel like you are trying to make me forgive myself."

The sun was starting to set and I knew that I only had a little bit more daylight left today.

I sat up on my knees and used my fingers to dig a little hole in the dirt. I reached behind me to the back pocket of my pants and I pulled out the picture of Tanya and I that I had removed from the frame in my room. I stared down at it again for several minutes, admiring how beautiful she was and how happy we had looked. I knew that I would never have her back, but she was allowing me to let her go. In this moment, it was clearer than day that the one up there who was giving me a second chance, who was bringing Bella into my life, was Tanya herself. I kissed the photograph and placed it into the little hole I had dug and promptly covered it back up. "I'm not forgetting you, I never could. I'm just allowing you to rest peacefully now, my baby. You don't need to worry about me anymore."

When those words left my mouth, I felt a ton of emotion wash over me. This was freeing, but that wasn't to say it still didn't hurt like hell.

"I'm gonna get going now, but I promise you this won't be the last time I come, and it won't take me another year to get back here."

I rocked back on my feet off my knees but before I stood up I kissed my fingers and then reached my hand out to touch her gravestone. I ran my fingers across her name one last time before whispering, "Thank you. And I love you."

I stood up and stared down for a moment longer. I bent down one last time to straighten the bouquet of flowers I had placed and picked up the old ones that I would throw out on my way out of the cemetery.

I took a deep, cleansing breath, wiped the residual wetness that had settled on my eyelashes, and turned to leave. I walked back to the path that would take me back to my car. I was walking with my hands in my pockets and my head down, looking at my feet.

All of a sudden an electrical feeling ran through me and I shook. My head snapped up and I stopped short. There standing at the end of the path by the exit was Bella. _My Bella._

I was so surprised to see her that I almost didn't think she was real. I just stood there in silence staring at her, while she stared at me.

"What? How?" I stuttered, not understanding how she got here or what was happening. She took one tentative, hesitant step forward but stopped, not closing the distance between us completely.

"You once said to me that at some point you would need me and you hoped that I would be there for you. I said that I would…and so I am."

I let out a breath that I didn't know I had been holding. I took three long strides, reaching out for her and pulled her into me. She hugged me and comforted me in a way that I didn't even realize I needed until just that moment. I buried my face in her hair and felt my eyes well up as tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Edward, I am so sorry that I jumped to conclusions. I had no idea and I just freaked out."

I shook my head against her, allowing her to know without saying any words that I didn't need an apology. We had both made mistakes, but we were here now. I had come here for me…for Tanya…for Bella, and Bella had come here for me.

I pulled my face back to look at her while we still had our arms around each other. She lifted her hands up and rubbed her thumbs under my eyes, wiping away the tears that had fallen.

"I hope that you aren't upset that I am here. I didn't want to intrude in this moment, so I stayed back, but I didn't know how you were going to react to being here and I just needed to be close by in case you needed me," she said to me tenderly.

"Bella, there is no one in the world who I would want here with me than you. In fact, if you aren't opposed to it, and if it isn't weird for you…" I said a little warily. But before I could finish she grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Edward, I would be honored to meet her," she said, and we started walking back up the path.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so thoughts? Does this finally answer the questions as to why our poor Eddie was a little emo and sending pathetic emails to Tanya? Yes we all had our moments of "get over it already," but maybe now we can all understand that he was mourning and trying to deal with the loss of someone he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with…and on top of it, he blames himself for her death.**

**I have a few quick announcements. Holly and I belong to a great group called The Sandbox. We are a bunch of fan fiction author's and betas who talk and support each other in our writing ventures. We have a newly created forum that I would like to share with you all to join. It allows you to talk with author's of some of your favorite stories (or stories that you should be reading b/c you will love them). Please check it out. http://www(dot)fanfictionsthesandbox(dot)com/index(dot)php. It is also a great place for any of you out there who are thinking of writing your own story. It gives you access to people who can help you get started and show you the way. These ladies have helped Holly and I write and hone our writing skills and without them I don't even know where we would be.**

**Holly & I are also helping to judge…"The Sandbox Presents a Holiday One-Shot Contest…Anything Goes Under The Mistletoe." You can check out the rules and all other info at the following link http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~anythinggoesunderthemistletoe. These one-shot contests are great for current authors, or those of you out there who have thought you might like to write a story but are nervous about jumping into a full length, multi-chaptered story. It helps you get your feet wet without the full commitment.**

**Please check out our profile for links to recs to other stories that Holly & I love and also for our Twitter link…come follow us. In the review section please feel free to leave story recs for us. We are always looking for something great to read. We would also love to know how you found our story. So let us know if you wouldn't mind!**

**Okay enough rambling. We love all of our readers…even the ones who don't review ***cough cough***…LOL…but as always if you click the little green button below and let us know how we are doing we will send you a teaser for Chapter 14. We love you all and we hope everyone is enjoying this holiday season!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thank you for all your wonderful reviews. They make us so giddy! We talk all the time about how much we love our readers, and your thoughtful insights. **

**~Special thanks to BE4Evr (Tracy) for cluing us in about all things Chicago. Without her, we'd be googling forever. She saved us lots of time and has inspired us to visit there! Oh, and her hubby's a firefighter, too. Yummy :)**

**~Thanks to our superbetas: SweetDulcinea, Keepingupwiththekids, and Dolphin62598. You ladies rock big time and have the patience of saints with all the preposition editing you do with us!**

**~If you haven't already, please check out our other story, **_**Beautiful Stranger**_**. It's only four chapters in, and in its early stages, but read it and give it some love…it's very lonely.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. We just have a healthy obsession with AIM instant messaging each other daily until all hours of the night.**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

***BPOV***

Edward led me down the path he had just come from, our hands still entwined. I meant what I said; I would be honored to meet Tanya and pay my respects. The truth was I felt absolutely awful that I was actually growing jealous of someone who was deceased. It wasn't like me to be envious of anyone in the first place, but then again, I had never felt such deep rooted feelings for someone as I did for Edward.

We made it to Tanya's headstone and I immediately squatted down to be on the same level. Edward knelt down next to me, placing his hand in mine again.

"Tanya, this is Bella. You know, the girl I was telling you about?" He stole a glance at me and smiled slightly, gesturing toward the headstone with his free hand. "Bella, this is Tanya."

I wasn't sure what to say. I slipped my hand out of Edward's grasp. It's not that I was weirded out or anything, because I had visited my Grandma Swan's grave in Forks many times, sitting and speaking to her about my life. This was different. I felt like I was intruding on something so personal, so intimate, that I was at a loss for words. I couldn't even look in Edward's direction.

Switching positions, I decided to sit down and cross my legs, wanting to feel more comfortable. I finally peeked at Edward, patting the space next to me, inviting him to sit. He readily complied, our thighs touching, and his head rested on my shoulder. I moved a bit and wrapped my arm around him, threading my fingers through his copper locks, gently massaging his scalp.

I'm not sure how long we sat there like that, quiet and contemplative, but I would've stayed there forever if that's what Edward wanted. After a while, Edward found his voice and began to tell me the story of him and Tanya and their relationship. He spoke of how they met at a bar around the corner from his old firehouse. He spoke about the vacations they took, the silly arguments they had. He spoke of the apartment they shared together and how easy he found it to live with her. He also spoke of how they shared a passion for running and they would often like to run along the lake in Montrose Beach. He was going to buy a ring and ask for her hand in marriage last fall. He was planning on tying the ring to one of her running shoe's laces. He planned to do much more with Tanya, but he never got the chance.

When he spoke, it was barely above a whisper. All the while, I just sat there, holding him in my arm and brushing his hair with my fingers. It felt good to live up to my promise of being there for Edward. He needed to get this all out for himself. He needed to come to some sort of peace with Tanya's death.

Another short while passed, but this time, Edward stood up and offered his hand out to me.

"Come on, let's go," he said softly and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly. We just stood there encased in one another. I buried my face in the crook of his neck. I had missed this resting place terribly.

The sun was just about to set, only a sliver of flaming red against the horizon. Edward wanted to show me Montrose Harbor, where he would often come to clear his mind and run before we went back to his parent's house.

The park was huge and vast, with a beautiful lake scanning the length of the Chicago skyline. The harbor was lit up by the lights on the boats that were docked there. There were many paths to walk along, but Edward opted to walk along the water.

It was getting a little windy, sending a chill up my spine. I had left my gloves and hat in my duffel bag in my haste to get to Edward. Burying my hands in my jacket pockets, we shuffled along side by side, just enjoying the silence.

"I'd kill to know what you are thinking right now. What's wrong?" Edward asked. I guess I was being too silent.

"I want to be your support system, Edward. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this has been for you. I feel like I don't even know what to say that will make the pain of losing Tanya any less," I admitted and ran my hand through my hair.

"It's okay, Bella. You don't have to say anything. Just having you here means the world to me, and to Tanya, because I know she's happy that I'm happy…and I am."

We stopped as my eyes met his glistening green ones, rendering me speechless. He really did look happy, relieved even, as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Was that part of a photograph sticking out of the ground in front of Tanya's grave that I saw?"

"Yeah, it's a picture of me and Tanya. I wanted to leave a little token with her, so she would know that I was always with her," Edward answered, shrugging. _Was he embarrassed?_

Tentatively, I cupped his cheek. "Edward, that's such a beautiful sentiment. I'm sure Tanya loves it."

"It was her favorite, which is why I chose that picture. It was actually the one on my desk by my computer."

"I've seen that one." I admitted, placing my hands back in my pockets. "She was really exquisite looking, Edward. You two made such a beautiful couple," I stated, remembering the photo. "You must have been really happy; I could tell by the smiles on your faces when I looked at the picture."

I couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable admitting my thoughts to Edward, considering I was falling in love with him, but I was going to have to shake that uneasiness. This had nothing to do with me and my feelings. Rather, I was here for Edward solely. I wanted to be a support to him and not make him feel strange and closed off around me because he missed Tanya terribly.

"Yeah, we were. Our relationship was great, filled with trust and honesty. And fun…we used to just have fun with one another. We never let any petty bullshit get to us," Edward smiled.

"That's nice. When I look back sometimes on mine and Jake's relationship, I now remember all the little stupid arguments we would get into. He could never let anything go, almost like a petulant child, you know?" I said, shaking my head.

At least I no longer felt a pang in chest when thinking of Jake. I was completely over him, and nothing made me happier. I was ready to move on and be in another relationship, giving my whole self to someone else.

Of course, I wanted it to be with Edward, but seeing him crying and those stories that he told of their life together, it was clear that Tanya was "the one" for him. It was a distinct possibility that we would never be. As much as I reminded myself that I was there to comfort Edward, I couldn't help but feel so hopeless. To hear how much love and devotion he felt for Tanya was absolutely gut-wrenching. He lived with her, had this perfect compatible relationship with her, and wanted to marry her. He wanted to build a life with her. How in the world was I going to make him realize that Edward could have that with me? Edward and I had lost our first loves, but that didn't mean weren't able to love again, possibly with each other. Did he even want to feel that way about me? Was I just a mere distraction from the deep rooted pain he was harboring over losing Tanya? I was crawling out of my skin, ready to lose my mind. I hated feeling this way. I felt guilty, and it wasn't fair to me or to Edward. Again, I swallowed my own insecurities. I would take anything from him, and if it was only friendship, then so be it. Edward was too much of an amazing person to not have in my life in some capacity.

I stared out into the harbor, watching the water lapping against the sides of the boats, the sound gentle and soothing.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I started, "I am so sorry that Tanya is not here to be with you. Please know that you have a great group of friends who are looking out for you, including me."

"Bella…" Edward began, but couldn't finish because I held up my hand. I couldn't look him in the eye; otherwise, I would have lost my nerve to get my feelings out into the open.

"Edward, please let me say what I need to say."

"Alright," he relented.

"I never meant to think any ill thoughts about Tanya. And I certainly didn't mean to sound malicious when I spoke of her to you after finding that e-mail. I guess I was a little jealous of her, but I didn't know the depth of your relationship with Tanya. All I knew was what Alice had told me. She always made it sound that Tanya dumped you, leaving you devastated or something. I had no idea of what happened to her. I'm sorry, Edward."

He reached for my arm, pulling me closer to him. So close, that I could smell his familiar smell, and I wanted nothing more than to curl myself up against him, but I couldn't. I was still stiff and rigid, guilt racking through me.

"Look at me, Bella," Edward said, taking my chin with his thumb and forefinger, lifting my face. "You didn't know. I'm not upset with you at all, so there is nothing to apologize for. If anything, I am so sorry that I never explained my situation earlier. I should have a long time ago, and I should have taken your feelings into consideration."

He paused, letting my face go. Edward closed his eyes for a brief moment and shook his head. He locked his eyes to mine again.

"Those e-mails, Bella, they were an outlet for me. I was so angry, so lost without Tanya and I needed to get my thoughts out somehow. I figured e-mailing Tanya's old account was the best therapy for me. I couldn't even go to her grave until now, Bella. I didn't have the guts or the mindset to go to her burial. I feel so shitty that you had to find out about those the way that you did. The irony of the whole situation was that I was getting ready to delete the folder."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I was reading through the earlier e-mails. In fact the one you read was the very first one I wrote. I was insanely shit-faced and so angry then. I wished you had read my final note to Tanya."

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Because it was about you. I was telling Tanya goodbye and that I was letting her go to be with you because I wanted to give us a fair shot without my ghosts creeping in and getting in the way."

I couldn't find my voice to respond. I was too shocked at what he just admitted. Edward wanted to give us a go? Was he really ready to move on from Tanya? Of course I wanted to believe it, but doubt was overtaking my mind. Would I ever be first in his eyes, without thinking that he wishes I was Tanya? I knew he would have a spot in his heart for her, just as I for Jake, but I was unable to shake that uneasy feeling of only being second best. I couldn't compete with a ghost. There was so much to process, my head was spinning.

I wasn't sure how Edward took my silence, but he did place his hand on the nape of my neck, closing the small gap between us.

"I missed you when you were gone," he whispered. "I hurt you, and I never wanted to do that. Please say you forgive me."

"Edward, there's nothing to forgive. I was stupid enough to not look at when you wrote that note. I'm an idiot for not listening to you back at my apartment. I just saw red, and I had to leave. I feel so silly now," I admitted softly.

"Don't. Let's just put this behind us, okay?" Edward leaned in, giving me a lingering kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of his lips against my skin.

We made a swift exit out of the park and into Edward's mom's _Honda Pilot_. Edward couldn't wait for me to meet his parents. He was all smiles while telling me about Edgewater, the area of Chicago where he grew up. As we passed his old schools, Edward was so animated, so full of life, pointing out his window at many landmarks. It was nice to see him this way, considering how awful this week had been for us. We had been through the ringer, and I desperately wanted to seek comfort in him, but I wasn't sure if it was right to do that. I was very reflective on our drive to his parent's house, not really speaking, except for the occasional, "Oh's, and Ah's."

Edward's parent's neighborhood was so quaint. His parents lived on the corner of a street filled with row houses. Each house was connected to one another on both sides, except for the corner ones. They were made of red brick, each house having a big front porch with a stoop.

Edward held the door open for me and I stepped into a small foyer. He gently nudged me further into the house, placing me in the living room. I heard laughter coming from down the hallway, and I smelled something heavenly like vanilla and warmth.

"Come, they must be in the kitchen," Edward reached for my hand and led the way.

Edward was right. There in the kitchen sat a woman who was most definitely his mother. Though I had seen many pictures of Esme, I would have known she was Edward's mother by the color of her hair and her complexion. She looked over toward Edward and me, and I was met with a familiar shade of green.

Smiling warmly, Esme got up from the kitchen table to envelop her son in a huge hug.

"Sweetheart, you're home," she said, kissing his cheek. She turned to me and took my hand in hers. "And you must be Bella. Oh, it is so wonderful to finally meet you after all these years of Alice speaking in such high regard of you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, Mrs. Cullen," I smiled.

"Please…call me Esme. Mrs. Cullen was my mother-in-law, and a bit of a drag. I am vibrant and still have some good years left in me," she quipped, winking and flashing a very Edward-like smile.

"So, how was it? Do you feel a little better, dear?" Esme asked her son, her voice a little wary.

Edward nodded his head, smiling slightly. "Yeah, Mom, I feel so much better after visiting Tanya. I just wish I was able to come sooner. I got a lot off my chest, but the best part was seeing Bella standing at the end of the path waiting for me." Edward gave me a gentile squeeze. I felt my face flush, so I bowed my head to hide it a bit.

Just then, we heard howling and screaming coming from somewhere in the house.

I must have looked bewildered because Esme answered in my direction. "Oh, that's Jasper and Carlisle down in the basement. They're watching the _Bears_ game, and from the sound of it, they are winning," she stated, going to the counter and grabbing a plate of cookies. "Here, Edward. Bring these down to the guys; they'll be happy that you are going to join them. Alice just brought them some beer, so you'll have to grab one for yourself."

"Sure, mom," Edward said, taking the plate from his mother. "Do you mind if I go down?" Edward asked me.

"No, of course not. Have fun. Go Grizzlys," I said, raising my fist a little in the air.

"Um, Bella, it's the _Bears_...as in the football team?"

"Oh, right," I said, feeling like a colossal idiot, my face no doubt the color of a tomato.

"God, you are so cute," Edward laughed, kissing my cheek softly…and again I was blushing. Edward made a swift exit, just as Alice was making her way back.

"Hey, cuz," she shouted in Edward's direction. She looked at me and bounded toward me, encasing me in her vice grip of a hug. "Bella! So, how did it go, sweetie?"

"Yes, please tell us how your reunion went," Esme piped in. I gave her an odd look. She smiled, "Yes, dear, Alice informed me of everything. I hope you're not angry."

"No, not at all," I said, not knowing how to act around Esme. I didn't even know the kind of relationship she shared with Tanya. Were they close? Did she think I wasn't good enough for her son?

They invited me to join them at the table and once I sat down, I proceeded to go over our time at the cemetery, as well as our time walking by the harbor. I couldn't help but tear a little when I spoke about our walk. This was when I was processing all the new information I had gathered, mulling over my little insecurities about the situation. Did I even have a situation?

Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably. I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment. I was crying in front of Edward's mother, for Christ's sake!

Alice immediately held me in her arms. "Oh, Bells, what's wrong?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I just feel so damn confused. I mean, I am happy that I know about Edward's past, but it's just so sad, and he's so broken. I don't know if he can ever really be fixed enough to even entertain the idea of being with me," I sniffled, feeling so stupid.

"If I may interject here," Esme started, "I don't think you are seeing yourself clearly, Bella. I noticed the way my son looked at you. You didn't see that glimmer in his eye when he held you close to him."

Esme pulled her chair closer and began to rub my back soothingly. "What Edward has gone through was horrific, and we can't even begin to imagine what it was like for him. What I will say is that he never even entertained the thought of ever visiting Tanya's grave until he met you. Don't you see, Bella? He came here for you. He wanted to get some form of closure so he can begin a relationship with you. It's what Tanya would have wanted and I think my son believes that as well." Alice nodded in agreement, giving me a toothy smile.

"Geez, what you must think of me. I didn't mean to fall apart like this. I'm sorry," I said, reaching for a napkin in the middle of the table so I could wipe my eyes.

"Look at me, dear. Listen, it must been so incredibly difficult for you watching the man you care about and want to explore a relationship with grieve over another woman who happened to be his first true love. I don't blame you for being a little confused or upset, but that doesn't mean that Edward only wants friendship with you. From what Alice has told me, it's quite the opposite. What, or _who_, I should say, I can blame is my dingbat of a son for not taking your feelings on this ordeal into consideration and not explaining the depth of his feelings for you."

"Yeah, Aunt Esme is right, Bells. What you need is some good old-fashioned reassurance. We all do from time to time," Alice shrugged. "I love you and I hate to see you so upset."

"I'll be fine. I just need to splash some cold water on my face. Where's your bathroom?" I asked Esme.

"Right down the hall, dear, on your left," Esme pointed.

I cleaned up quickly, hoping that there were no traces of crying left on my face. What was going to give me away was the glassy, red sheen of my eyes. I just had to bow my head down a bit when around Edward until my eyes were clear again. I didn't want to trouble Edward in any way. I didn't want him to worry about me. His plate was full enough without me to deal with. I just had to buck up and be a little trooper. I reached in my jeans pocket to pull out a tie-back that I had, and pulled my hair into a tight pony tail. Now I felt refreshed and a little better.

Upon returning to the kitchen, Esme and Alice were starting to prepare dinner. I offered my assistance, informing Esme that I knew my way around the kitchen, as I loved to cook. She smiled and gave me the task of making garlic mashed potatoes. I gladly accepted, wanting to do something normal.

The three of us fell into a routine, talking with one another and giggling when all of a sudden, I felt two arms snake around my waist, startling me a bit. I jumped at the contact.

"Whatcha doing?" Edward asked playfully, placing a chaste kiss on the side of my neck, sending tingles throughout my body. He rested his chin on my shoulder to gather a peek.

"Making garlic mashed potatoes," I breathed, my body slightly rigid. I really wanted to melt into his form, but I wasn't sure how to act around Edward now. Suddenly, I was shy again, like a younger version of myself when I first began to notice boys.

Edward was breathing against the skin of my neck and it was driving me crazy. I had to close my eyes to calm myself. Upon opening them again, I felt Esme's gaze as we locked eyes with one another from across the counter. She gave me a smile and a wink. I gave her a slight smile in return.

Esme had Alice call Jasper and Carlisle up for dinner. We ended up eating in the dining room, with me sitting next to Edward. Carlisle, as he insisted I call him, was an absolute sweetheart, and extremely good looking. No wonder Edward looked the way he did. It was impossible not to look so irresistible when he had Esme and Carlisle's genes running through him.

As the guys were clearing the table, per Esme's request, Alice suggested the four of us go out and do something. Since Jasper and I weren't from Chicago, we hadn't a clue as to what there was to do or where to go.

"Oh! I know!" Alice shouted excitedly, startling us all. "We should totally go ice skating at Millenium Park. It's close to Thanksgiving, so it's open now, and they have the greatest café next to it where we could get some hot chocolate and dessert."

She was practically bouncing out of her seat, which made it really hard to say no to her, even though my mind was going crazy. Did she remember who I was and the destruction I can cause myself? Clearly she had some sort of death wish for me if she wanted me to skate on ice, but I didn't say anything, wanting to just go with the flow. A night out with another couple would do me some good, and hopefully Edward.

I mentioned that I didn't have any gloves or a hat, citing that I left them back at the hotel. Esme offered a set of hers that I could borrow. She pulled Edward to the other room to help her get them. I think she wanted to speak with her son alone, but I wasn't going to dwell on what they would be talking about.

Millenium Park was huge, and so beautifully lit at night. It was cold and a little windy, but we were all sufficiently bundled up. When we rented out skates, we sat on benches nearby to put them on. Music was blaring from speakers, getting the skaters to show their stuff in the rink. Too bad it wasn't closer to Christmas; I would have loved to skate to holiday music. Listening to those songs always made me festive and upbeat. But the eighties and nineties mix was good enough. The ice rink and its surroundings were reminiscent of New York City's Rockefeller Center, except bigger. I had seen enough pictures to make a reasonable comparison, even though I had never been to the East Coast. I only hoped I could visit Millenium Park in the daytime so I could take a closer look and admire all the amazing public works of art, which were displayed about. So far, Chicago seemed to be a really intriguing and fun city. It's too bad I was visiting for other unfortunate circumstances.

As soon as I finished lacing my ice skates, Alice grabbed my arm, pulling me up, and leading me toward the ice.

"Whoa, Alice. Slow down! You know how I am. I invite disaster, and me wearing these things is a clear example," I stated, pointing down at my feet. I was wobbling like crazy, unable to find my equilibrium in these skates.

Edward and Jasper clomped over to either side of us, Edward talking my gloved hand. I still felt his familiar warmth through them. The butterflies in my stomach were awakened by his touch. I was still so nervous around him, and it was a bit unnerving.

Stepping into the rink and holding onto Edward and the side rail for dear life, he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Are you okay? You've been a little quiet for a while. Did you not want to come here, because just say the word and we can leave."

"I'm fine," I offered softly, not wanting to get upset all over again. Thankfully, at that moment, Alice took my hand and jerked me toward her.

"Come on, Bella! Let's get out there!" Alice was so excited. She loved to ice skate. She had the perfect little body for it and she actually resembled a figure skater.

I let go of Edward's hand and reluctantly peeled my other hand off the railing. Alice slowly led me away from the guys, as we began to glide on the ice. I made sure I was close to that rail, in case I needed support.

We fell into an easy rhythm, our movements a little choppy, but getting smoother as we got used to being on ice. Holding my hand, Alice turned to me. "He needs to work for it a little now."

"What?" I asked, bewildered as to what she was talking about.

"Edward. He needs to chase you, make you feel wanted."

"Alice, I'm not going to play games now," I sighed. "I'm tired, you know? I don't want to talk about this at the moment. I want to enjoy a simple night out with friends."

"Okay, but let me tell you this one last thing before I go off topic. You are a strong woman, Bella, and I don't want you to forget that because of this little setback with Edward. He wants to be with you, trust me. I feel that you should make him sweat a tad. And what you are doing- the silent bit- seems to be working in your favor. Edward's been eyeing you since dinner, but you haven't noticed because you aren't really looking in his direction."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I'm not trying to do anything. I can't help it that I feel so inhibited around him now. I want more and I want to know where Edward and I stand with one another, but I am so fucking nervous that he will not want anything from me. Ugh, I feel like I'm thirteen, not having a clue as to how to act around a boy that I like."

"Just keep doing what you are doing. Look," Alice said, pointing to the left of her, "he's searching for you right now," she laughed. Sure enough, when I leaned my head forward, I caught a glimpse of Edward with Jasper. He was moving his head from side to side, trying to seek me out through the throngs of ice skaters.

"Oh, shit! They're coming. Come on!" I giggled, wanting to have some fun with this. If Alice wanted Edward to chase me, then chase me he shall.

Since Alice was the better skater, she led the way, never letting me out of her grasp. I felt the wind on my face as we gained speed, my ponytail swaying side to side, and grazing my ears with each pass. Edward and Jasper were nowhere to be seen. Alice slowed a little as we were about to round the corner so we wouldn't fall.

Just when Alice and I thought we were in the clear, I felt two hands wrap around my waist, dragging me backwards, while still clutching to Alice's hand.

"Gotcha!" Edward yelled, startling me so much that when I jumped slightly, I actually jolted Alice, causing us to collide with the cold ice. I fell, half on my ass, half on Alice. Meanwhile, Edward and Jasper remained standing, grinning like fools at our sorry state.

Alice and I took one look at each other and lost it. We blew up into fits of laughter, our breathing labored. It felt so good to feel something other than somberness or confusion. Jasper and Edward decided to join in on the fun, as our laughter seemed to be contagious.

Edward held his hand out to me, and I readily accepted his offer to help me to my feet. Once standing, we were so close, my body slightly pressing up against his. My laughter died down from giggles to silence when Edward's eyes captured mine, his gaze intense. I felt my face flush, and immediately, Edward cupped my cheek, his thumb rubbing along the bone.

"I love that blush. You're too fucking adorable for your own good. And that laugh, God, how I have missed that laugh, Bella."

"Yeah? Well, I've missed it, too," I giggled, playing a little coy. I turned to see how Alice was faring, but she was gone. I searched ahead of me and found Jasper holding her hands from behind, gliding them gracefully around the ice rink. Jasper used to play ice hockey for _Forks High_, so he was a natural.

When I faced Edward again, I found him with a contemplative look on his face. "Would you like to go and sit for a while?"

"Yes, that would actually be wonderful," I answered, deciding to link my arm with his. "Lead the way."

I had decided I had enough after my little spill, even though it was Edward induced and not my doing. We returned our skates and put our sneakers back on. He asked me if I wanted to take a walk along one of the walking paths. Of course I agreed. I would go anywhere with Edward.

"That was a lot of fun, even though I wiped out. I hadn't gone ice skating since I was in high school," I said, shivering a little and placing my gloved hands into the pockets of my jacket.

"Are you cold? Here…wait…wear this," Edward stopped walking, took off his jacket, and began to peel out of the navy blue sweatshirt he was wearing. He was left in just his t-shirt, and quickly threw back on his coat.

I took the sweatshirt from him, examining it. On the upper right side flashed his name in bright yellow, _E. Cullen_. I flipped it over and saw that his last name was written bigger and bolder, in the same bright yellow. Where was this from? I liked it, and I wanted to keep it forever.

"It's one of my old sweatshirts from the fire academy," Edward answered my silent question.

I took off my jacket and pulled my new favorite article of clothing over my head. Sure, it was way too big on me, but I didn't care. It had Edward's name splayed all over it. I inhaled, soaking in the essence of Edward, such an indescribably delicious scent. I put my jacket on as he began to speak.

"You know, you are wearing a form of a letterman's jacket, since it has my name on it."

"Oh, you mean like in high school? What would have been your sport with this sweatshirt, varsity firefighting?" I chuckled, looking down, trying to get my scarf to tie on correctly.

"Yeah, something like that. It would kind of mean that you were my girl."

"Ah. Do they even do that in high school anymore?" Still looking down, I was tugging at the sleeves of my shirts, trying to align them correctly with the length of my jacket. It was really annoying when the sleeves got all bunched up, not to mention extremely uncomfortable.

"So would you?" I heard Edward say.

"Would I what?"

"Would you be my girl?"

My head shot up this time. "What?"

He moved closer toward me, each step punctuating his words. "Would. You. Be. My. Girl?"

Edward was inches away from me, the electricity charged between us as he slid his hand underneath my pony tail, playing with the fine hairs at the nape of my neck. His gentle tickling was making my head fog with desire. Did Edward just ask me to go steady with him? How retro. How unexpected. How fucking sexy.

"Y-you mean like boyfriend/girlfriend?" I swallowed, green eyes boring into my brown ones.

He laughed slightly. "Yes, you silly, beautiful girl. I want to be in an exclusive relationship with you, Bella. No games…just us," he whispered the last part before closing the minute space between us, his lips capturing mine.

At that moment, I was completely lost in Edward. I wrapped my arms around his neck, standing on my tiptoes to get even closer to him than I already was. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, causing Edward to moan and open his mouth so my tongue could reacquaint itself with his. He snaked his other arm around my waist, firmly planting me closer to him.

Our kisses were slow, languid, and full of the passion that I had so desperately missed this past week. My hands rejoiced as they tugged their way through Edward's thick, unruly hair. Eventually, we came up for air, both of us panting and wanting more. I was ready to throw him down on the cold, hard ground and have my way with him.

Edward pressed his forehead against mine. "So…is that a 'yes?'" he asked.

"Absolutely," I breathed as his lips latched onto the soft skin underneath my ear. My breathing sped up when he started to suck softly, his tongue making slow circles.

It was so much, too much all at once. My emotions were all over the place today, and now one of my wishes came true? I was at a loss for words. Leaning my head into the crook of Edward's neck, one of my favorite places to be, I held him tighter, for fear that he would suddenly vanish and this was all a dream.

Edward sensed something was amiss and stopped the luscious assault on my neck. "What's the matter?"

"I'm scared that I may be dreaming. This is all so unreal, especially after our hellish week. God, I hope I'm not hallucinating." I admitted into Edward's neck.

"Hey…look at me," he nudged me with his shoulder so I would move my face.

I peeked up at him through my lashes as he continued. "I have wanted to ask you that for a while, but I'm glad I didn't until now because it made me face my own demons. I needed to come here for us. I owed it to myself…and to you. It must have been so hard for you to hear me speak about my past. I'm sorry I didn't take into consideration what this mess must have been like for you. You mean so much to me. I'm not perfect, Bella, but I promise that I will try with all that I am to make you happy. Tanya was my past, but I hope to make you my future."

His little declaration caused my eyes to glisten with tears. I would never leave this man. He could have me forever if he wanted.

"Edward, I don't even know where to begin, except that you've made me so happy right now," I smiled up at him.

"Well, I'm glad, baby. I would do any fucking thing to make you smile like you are now. You are so beautiful."

"Thanks," I whispered, reaching up to kiss my boyfriend. _Ah, my boyfriend! Edward Cullen is my boyfriend! _I felt like shouting it to anyone who would hear.

Edward pulled away from our kiss, smiling down to me. I noticed some white specs floating between us. Edward looked up and I followed his gaze, noticing that it had started to snow. This moment couldn't have been more perfect.

Those tiny white flakes were a symbol of hope. No two snowflakes are alike, but yet they still create the same picture. Tanya's relationship with Edward and my relationship with him were completely different, but the outcome would still be the same…love. My heart had already begun to believe that, and it was only a matter of time before my head realized it, too. Edward was going to be okay, as I was going to be okay. _We_ were going to be okay.

A genuine smile spread on my face, as I glanced at my gorgeous boyfriend. Edward leaned in to brush his lips with mine.

"So girlfriend," Edward spoke against my lips, "Wanna go to my house to watch a movie and make out?"

I giggled, unable to hide my sheer giddiness, as I gave him my answer instantly.

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

**Phew *wipes brow*- We thought we wouldn't make it with all that sadness and despair. Finally, we can focus on some good times for these kids! YES, we have more in store for the whole gang :) We are nowhere near finished.**

**~We hope you have a wonderful holiday and a very Happy and Healthy New Year! If you are travelling, BE SAFE! We'll be back in 2010!**

***Reviews equals teaser, so PLEASE leave us your thoughts!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Happy New Year everyone! Sorry for the delay, but we hope this chapter makes up for it! **

**We are posting live from Chicago!!! Yes, we are in the Windy City for the week, visiting one of our dear readers, Tracy. We visited the same sights we wrote about in our story. Sadly, Bella and Edward were nowhere to be found. **

**We have been posting pictures on our NJNYTwiGals Facebook page. Follow us on our adventures through the snowy city of Chicago. We were actually giddy when we visited the ice rink where Edward asked Bella to be his girl.**

**We love each and every one of you who reads this story. Big huge boob squeezes to everyone who reviews. They motivate us to write, so please review when you can.**

**As always, thanks to our wonderful betas, Sweet Dulcinea, Dolphin62598, and keepingupwiththekids.**

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***EPOV***

I woke up and realized it was morning. I was lying on the bed in my childhood bedroom with Bella curled up next to me. We were both in our clothes from the day before. The television was on and an infomercial for Proactiv Solution was playing. We had come up to my room after we got home from our date to watch movies but we must have both fallen asleep. We made out a little but it was kind of hard to do much more with my parents right down the hall. Not that I didn't try but Bella felt weird and kept swatting me telling me to behave myself.

I wasn't sure if I should wake up Bella but before I had a chance to deliberate I felt her start to stir. I looked down at her and she slowly opened her eyes and then looked up at me. When our eyes met we both smiled the biggest shit kicking grins. _Yeah I was whipped._

"Good morning sunshine," I said.

"I can't believe we fell asleep in our clothes," she yawned out as she rolled onto her back and stretched.

I rolled over on top of her before she had a chance to stop me. "I know. I would have much rather we fell asleep without any clothes on at all." I leaned in and tried to kiss her.

"Edward!" she said while giggling. "Let me at least brush my teeth."

"Bella we both have morning breath, so we kind of cancel each other out."

"Well I would still like to have minty fresh breath before I kiss my boyfriend."

Her breath hitched and then she smiled really big. "My boyfriend," she repeated. "I really like the sound of that. It makes me so happy."

I rested my forehead to hers. "It makes me happy too, beautiful." I leaned in and this time she let me kiss her. I ran my hands down her side and slid them under the bottom of her shirt. When she didn't stop me I kept going. I ran my hands up her stomach and cupped her tit over her bra. I felt her nipple harden immediately under my touch. She moaned and arched her back into me.

"Edward," she whispered, "you have to stop…your parents…mmmm!"

I smiled wickedly as I pinched her nipple. I knew that would get her to give in.

"Oh fuck it," she said and attacked my mouth.

Just when I was about to mentally high five myself for getting her to give in to some morning fun time, there was a knock at my door.

"Oh shit!" Bella said, as she jerked up. I flew off the bed and landed on my ass on the floor.

"Um…ouch," I said as I shook my head in shock that my girl had just flung me off the bed. She looked over the mattress at me.

"Oh my God, Edward I am so sorry," but she started laughing at me as I looked up to her.

There was a second knock at my door. "What!" I yelled a bit too harshly because not only was I sitting on the floor but I now had a raging hard on that was clearly not going to be taken care of by Bella.

"Edward, its Alice. Come downstairs. Jasper and I brought breakfast on our way over from our hotel."

Alice has a bedroom here, yet she chose to stay at a hotel. Hmmm…she had the right idea. She probably got breakfast after working up an appetite having sex this morning. Sex that clearly wasn't happening for me on this trip.

"Edward, are you coming?" Alice said while knocking again.

_God she is annoying._

I got up and stomped over to the door and flung it open. She was leaning against the wall with an annoying, knowing grin on her face.

"Fall off any beds lately Edward? I hope I didn't interrupt anything," she said while laughing.

Bella squeezed by me and said to Alice, "Good, breakfast. I'm starving," and she walked down the hallway and down the stairs leaving Alice and I standing there.

I looked over at Alice and gave her the evil eye which only made her laugh harder. I rolled my eyes at her and started to walk down the hall to follow Bella downstairs.

"Awww come on Edward don't be like that. I was just teasing. Look how about you and Bella take Jasper's and my hotel room tonight and we will stay here. It gives me a chance to spend some time with Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme. I would like them to get to know Jasper better anyway."

Immediately I remembered why I loved that annoying little Pixie so much. I lunged at her and gave her a hug, lifting her off the ground as I did. "Thank you so much, Alice."

"Geez, someone is desperate to get laid," she said giggling.

"You have no idea," I said while setting her down on the floor. We both headed toward the stairs to join the others in the kitchen for breakfast.

* * *

After we finished eating, Bella and I headed upstairs to shower and get dressed. I told her about the hotel and she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me down for a kiss.

"I can't wait," she said against my lips. She then left my room to go take a shower.

I sat on my bed and flipped on the morning news, but I really couldn't pay attention because I had so much going on in my head. Yesterday had been a mix of emotions that I was still reeling from. From going to the cemetery, to asking Bella to be my girlfriend, I felt the day had gone full circle.

I appreciated more than Bella knew the fact that she had come to the cemetery, and the fact that she even came to the gravesite with me showed just how much I meant to her. That couldn't have been easy on her. I knew she was trying to process everything when we had left and were walking through the park because she was being kind of quiet.

When Alice had suggested that we all go out that night, I knew it would be the perfect opportunity to help her relax and have a little fun. Before we had left the house my mother pulled me aside. She told me about the conversations that her and Alice had with Bella, and that Bella was feeling a little insecure about always being number two in my life. Of course this was crazy, but I could understand why she felt that way. Hell, I had moments where I had felt like that with Bella. I mean her ex, Jacob, was a douche and had really fucked Bella over, but if he hadn't done those things to her she would be married to him right now. My mother explained that girls needed a little more reassuring. She explained that since Tanya and I hadn't broken up, that she had been ripped out of my life through no doing of her own, that it would be only natural for Bella to be feeling the way she did. She told me to just keep that in mind and be mindful of making sure Bella knew that she was not second choice.

That was when I made the decision that I was going to formally ask Bella to be my girlfriend that night. I know it was a little "junior high" but I didn't fucking care. It wasn't like I was gonna send her a note and ask her to circle _yes_ or _no_. I just knew that whatever it was we had going on between us was important to me, and I wanted to make sure that she knew I was serious about her and wanted her all to myself.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Bella walked into my room from her shower. She was already dressed. _Damn it_.

"The shower is all yours."

She looked at me and cocked her head to the side. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She said confused.

"Because I was hoping you would come back in here with just a towel on." _What? I know she wouldn't let me touch but a little flashing never killed anyone._ Damn I was horny.

She just laughed at me and shook her head. "Tonight, Cullen. Tonight I promise."

I scrunched my nose like a little fucking kid who wasn't getting his way as I got up and stomped out of my room towards the bathroom. I could hear Bella laughing at me.

I took a quick shower…not by choice, but by the mere fact that after five minutes in there the hot water ran out. I used to have this same problem when Alice would shower before me. What do girls do in there that takes twenty minutes? I walked into my room and got dressed. I was making my way down the stairs when I heard fits of laughter. I walked into the living room and found my mother, Bella and Alice sitting on the couch looking at a photo album. They all looked up at me at the same time and burst out into laughter.

"What?" I asked as I walked closer to see what they were looking at. When I saw that my mother was showing Bella pictures of me when I was little, naked in the bathtub, I was mortified. "Mom!"

"Awww Edward, come on they are cute," my mother gushed.

"Yeah Edward," Alice piped in, "even the one where you are Full Monty is adorable. Just look at your little…"

"ALICE!" I shouted. "I will have you know that there is nothing little about me when I am in Full Monty mode," I said in annoyance.

"Okay way too much information for me to be hearing," my mom said as she closed the book and got up, walking out of the room. Alice chucked as she got up and followed my mother.

Bella had her hand over her mouth and was giggling but quickly stopped when I looked at her. She stood up and put her arms around my waist. "Don't worry, Edward. I know that is the damn truth." She then laughed but leaned up into me to give me a kiss.

"So what are we doing today?" she asked.

"Well I was thinking if you were up to it I could take you by my old firehouse and introduce you to some of the guys."

"Oh…that sounds like so much fun. I'm definitely down for that."

I told my mom that we would be out for a while. I also asked Alice if she would be around later when we got back so we could grab our bags and the hotel room key. She assured me she would be around but said if she went anywhere she would leave the key in my room. She had to keep it for now so her and Jasper could go back and retrieve their bags.

* * *

I borrowed my mother's car again and Bella and I made it over to my old firehouse. As soon as we pulled up outside, a feeling of nostalgia swept over me. I really was beginning to settle into my life in Seattle, but Chicago would always be home to me. The firehouse and all the guys here were like a second family to me and being here right now was bittersweet.

Bella and I got out of the car and I took her hand and walked into the firehouse. As soon as we were in the door I saw a bunch of the guys who were hanging out in the front.

"Hey!" a bunch of them yelled out coming over to me and ruffling my hair and slapping me on the back.

"It's Cullen! I don't fucking believe my eyes," Dave said as he walked out from the back room when he heard the ruckus.

After all the hugs and greeting were exchanged I turned towards Bella who was waiting off to the side in an attempt to give me a chance to say hi to everyone. "Everyone I would like you to meet my girlfriend, Bella. Bella this is…well…everyone."

Each guy came up and shook her hand introducing themselves to her. As Dave passed me to greet Bella he waggled his eyebrows at me and mouthed, "not bad at all fucker." All I could do was laugh. When he got up to Bella she held a hand out to shake but Dave pulled her into a huge hug.

"I've known Cullen since I was five. He's like a brother to me, so no formalities in a handshake from his girl."

Bella just giggled and returned his hug.

John put his arm around Bella and offered to give her the big tour. We all started walking but Dave put his hand on my shoulder to hold me back from the group.

Bella looked back for me over her shoulder. "I'll catch you with you in one second baby," I called to her.

"No problem Edward. Take your time," she said and disappeared around the corner.

I turned to Dave who was now leaning against the wall with a big old grin splayed across his face.

"What fucker?" I asked as I punched him in the shoulder jokingly.

"What? What? Were you going to call me any time soon and tell me about this hot piece of ass you are dating? I've only been your best friend since we were five."

"Well we just became official yesterday, so I guess before then it was a little presumptuous," I explained.

"Man this is huge. I haven't seen you so much as check out a chick in over a year and now you have a girlfriend," he said and patted me on the back.

Dave suddenly got serious. "Really Edward I haven't seen you look this happy in such a long time and I am really happy for you. I don't know her, but any girl that could put that stupid ass smile back onto your face has got to be one amazing girl."

"She is pretty amazing," I sighed.

"Damn…you have it bad. She must be pretty good in the sack too," he teased.

"Hey, hey, hey," I warned. "This is not some random chick. Don't be talking about Bella in that way," I warned jokingly, getting into my boxing stance.

"Alright fucker, alright," he said in a laugh, "but your face answers that question for me loud and clear."

I rolled my eyes at him and followed him down the hall to find Bella and the rest of the guys. We turned the corner and I saw one of the guys, Embry, pointing to something on the wall that Bella was staring at intently. When she heard my approach she turned and looked at me giving me a huge grin.

"What are you guys looking at?" I asked.

"Embry was just showing me the award you were given back in 2007."

I immediately remembered the award that had been given to me called _The __Lambert Tree__ Award_.

"Yeah," Embry said, "it is given to one firefighter each year who demonstrated outstanding bravery in the line of duty."

I immediately started feeling embarrassed. It was a big honor to have bestowed on you, but I was modest and the attention made me feel awkward. I mean every single guy I worked with put their lives on the line every day. To be singled out, although an honor, made most guys feel modest.

As the group of guys we were with started talking amongst themselves, Bella came over to me and put her arms around my waist. I immediately did the same.

"I don't think I have ever really told you how proud I am of you. I think what you do every day for a job is so brave." I smiled and leaned down to brush my lips against her's.

I rolled my eyes when the catcalls from the guys started coming. "Fuck off guys. Don't hate because I'm getting some loving from my woman," I said as I pulled Bella into me and flipped them off behind her back while laughing at them.

We were hanging out with the guys and catching up when Bella got a phone call from Alice. Alice wanted to come by and pick Bella up so they could go shopping. Bella was being a little vague and secretive about where they were going but I just tossed that up to female shit.

When Alice got there she came in to say a quick hello to the guys before grabbing Bella and heading out.

I stayed for a little while longer just shooting the shit before the alarm went off and the guys had to leave. It felt weird being there and hearing the alarm and knowing I wasn't leaving on the trucks with them but I knew I had another great group of guys I was working with out in Seattle. We all said our quick goodbyes before I took off to go home and grab Bella and I's bags and dropped them off at the hotel.

When I got home Bella and Alice were back from their shopping trip.

"So did you get anything?" I asked.

Alice and her exchanged a quick glance and I swear I caught quick smirks on both their faces.

"Um…yes but I'll show you later. I'm going to go and get dressed for dinner," she said and quickly kissed me on the cheek before making her way out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my room.

I looked over at Alice. "What are you two up to?" I asked.

"Moi? Up to something? Never!" she said while laughing.

"Hmmm," I said to her. "You are up to something Pixie but I have learned a long time ago to not fight you. So I'll let it go for now."

"You aren't nearly as dumb as you look Edward," she said and skipped out of the room.

* * *

I took Bella to eat at this local place called _Uncommon Grounds_. It started out as a coffee house about ten years ago but has since morphed into a pretty trendy restaurant. They often have open mic nights so you get to hear local musicians play while you are eating.

After dinner Bella and I just walked around. She wanted to see the normal sights of the city I lived in. After a while we started to get cold so I hailed a cab and told them to take us to The Art Institute of Chicago.

"I didn't know you were into Art," she said as she cuddled into my side in the cab.

"Well I wouldn't say I'm a big art connoisseur," I admitted, "but I have been there on school trips before and they have some really nice pieces. I figured it would be something you would enjoy seeing, maybe to tell your students about."

"You are so sweet to me Edward." She leaned up and kissed me. I ran my hand up into her hair to hold her face to mine, deepening our kiss. I slid my tongue into her mouth and she moaned lightly into my mouth.

I pulled back slightly. "God you are so fucking sexy, do you know that?"

She bit her bottom lip and shook her head, as she looked shyly up at me through her eyelashes. "Um…maybe we could see the Art Institute tomorrow," she said breathlessly.

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Why Miss Swan, are you proposing we call it a night already? It's only nine o'clock," I said in mock humor.

Bella ran a finger from my neck, down my chest and down into my lap where she grazed her hand over my dick. "Well if you would rather go to the Museum that's fine with me."

My eyes bugged out and my pants all of a sudden got very tight and uncomfortable. "Ummm, driver? We have had a change of plans. Can you please take us to The Omni Hotel on Michigan Avenue…and step on it!"

* * *

Bella and I nearly sprinted out of the cab and into the hotel. When we got in the elevator there were other guests in it. Bella kept looking over at me biting her lip. You would have thought we were both little kids who had to go pee pee with the way we were dancing around being antsy.

When the elevator stopped on our floor, Bella and I stepped out and made a hasty retreat to our room. As soon as we got in the door, I slammed it with my foot and pushed Bella up against the wall and met her lips with mine.

She ran her hands up into my hair and started pulling. _Fuck, I love when she does that_. I grabbed her tit over her shirt and started squeezing it in my hand. We were both moaning and grinding ourselves into each other for some friction.

"Edward, wait a second," she said through heavy breaths.

I stilled and rested my forehead against her. We were both trying to collect ourselves from the frenzy.

"I just want to freshen up for a second," she said.

"Uh…okay," I told her. I stepped back and with one more deep breath she pushed off against the wall and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

I took my coat off and threw it on the floor in the corner as I walked across the room and plopped myself down into the chair by the window. _Cullen you need to get a hold of yourself or else you are not going to last more than two seconds tonight._

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. A few minutes later I heard the bathroom door open and I lifted my head and opened my eyes. My mouth dropped open, my eyes wide as saucers, when I took in the sight before me. Bella was standing there in a sheer, black lace nighty that was over a pair of black lace panties.

She was twirling a piece of her hair and biting her bottom lip. A blush crept all the way across her face and down her chest.

"Do you, umm, like it? I bought it today when I was out with Alice."

I was just gaping at her like a fucking thirteen year old boy who found his first _Playboy_ magazine. How could she possibly doubt herself when she was so gorgeous.

"I could always just change into something else," she said as she continued to look nervous.

"Like hell you will," I said as I stood up and made it across the room to her in two giant steps. "Bella you look so fucking sexy right now. You are stunning," I said as I ran my hands up and down her sides from her waist to the side swells of her tits.

Cupping her luscious breasts, I pushed them up and then grazed my thumbs over her nipples, reveling in the feeling of them hardening under my touch. Bella gasped and arched her back, causing her chest to push into my hands further.

She threw her arms around my neck and we attacked each other's lips as if our lives depended on it. And at that moment in time…mine did.

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I slid my hands down her back. When I got to her sweet ass, I squeezed it, hooking my hands under her and lifted her up. Bella immediately wrapped her legs around my waist and I walked us both over to the bed.

Gently placing Bella in the middle of the bed, I crawled over the top of her and started nipping along her jaw line and down her neck. I made my way down her collarbone and when I got to the sheer material that was leaving nothing to the imagination covering her tits; I let my tongue slide out, flicking it over her nipple causing it to harden. Her hands immediately flew into my hair and she moaned my name.

I bit her other nipple through the material before continuing my decent south. I used my hands to gently nudge her legs open. I situated myself in between her and pushed the bottom of her nighty up and hooked my fingers into the panties before sliding them down her legs.

"Fuck Bella you are so fucking beautiful," I said to her through lustful breaths. She leaned her head slightly up and met my eyes. Without breaking eye contact, I stuck my tongue out and licked her in between her lips in one swift movement.

"Ugh, Edward," she yelled out as she threw her head back into the pillow.

"God Bella you are already so wet for me and you taste amazing baby."

I continued to lick her. First I was just circling around where she was swollen and needed me most. I wanted to drive her crazy. She kept her fingers in my hair and started to pull it tighter when her frustration maxed out.

"What baby?" I said coyly. "What do you need?"

"Oh God, Edward. Please."

"Please what, Beautiful? Do you want me to lick you here?" I teased as I ran my tongue directly over her clit.

"Oh. My. God." She screamed out and bucked her hips up into my face.

"Bella you turn me on so much," I said as I continued to work her over with my tongue.

I brought my finger up and pushed it inside of her. She started to move her hips in unison with my finger. After I had her worked up and moaning wildly, I added a second and then a third. I hooked my fingers so I knew they were hitting that spot deep inside her, and after a few more flicks of my tongue, Bella suddenly stilled and cried out my name one more time and I felt her contract around my fingers.

I looked up at her and she was laying there with her eyes closed and her chest was heaving as she started to try and compose herself. She had a light sheen of sweat over her chest and face and she looked stunning. Like an angel. My angel.

When she finally looked up at me she said, "Edward that was one of the single best orgasms I have ever had." She then sat up and started to crawl towards me on the bed.

Gone was the shy girl that had first walked out of the bathroom. She looked like a beautiful lioness stalking her prey. When she got to me, she grabbed my shoulders and pushed me onto my back on the bed. She leaned over me and lightly kissed my lips as I felt her fingers go straight to my belt. She undid my belt quickly and popped the button on my jeans. Then, ever so slowly, she unzipped my zipper and then pulled back from my lips and sat up on her knees. With her hands, she parted my knees slightly so she could kneel in between me. She hooked her fingers into the top of my jeans and started to pull them down my waist. I lifted my hips to help her out…_I'm a nice guy, what can I say_…and she pulled my jeans and boxers off all at once. I sat up slightly and removed my shirt over my head and threw it into the corner of the room somewhere.

Bella ran her hands down my chest, her touch leaving a trail of fire. When she got to right about my waist she sat up on her knees and in the most seductive move I have ever seen, she pulled her nighty off over her head and dangled it off her pointer finger before dropping it onto the floor.

I just stared at her, committing her gorgeous body to memory. I reached out and grabbed her tits, just massaging them and feeling their weight in my hands.

Bella slid back slightly and leaned over while taking my dick in her hands. She looked up at me and while staring at me (like I had done to her) she licked the tip of my dick. She moved down and ran her tongue up the entire length of my shaft before taking the whole thing in her mouth.

My eyes just rolled back into my head and tilted my head to the side so it was buried into my shoulder. I felt her take my dick in and out of her mouth and it was such a warm, tight feeling. I opened my eyes again because I had to take in this image of me in my girl's mouth. She was so beautiful.

After a few more minutes I put my hands lightly in her hair. "Bella, baby, you gotta stop. I'm gonna cum soon and I want to get inside of you first."

I heard her gasp slightly and she looked up at me with a smile across her face.

"Come here you," I said to her as I sat up grinning.

She started crawling up over my body. When she got over my dick she lined herself up and then without any hesitation she dropped down onto me.

"Motherfuck," I yelled out over the sensation. "Jesus baby you are so fucking tight," I moaned while grabbing her hips.

I reached up and started groping her tits and rubbing her nipples as she rode me. After a few minutes I flipped her over so that I was now on top and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I continued to move inside of her.

I grabbed her hands and held them above her head with one of my hands with the other one reached in between us and I started rubbing over her clit. Within a few minutes I felt Bella's nails dig into my back and she yelled out as she came around my dick. The intense contractions I felt from her squeezing around me immediately brought on that tightening feeling in my stomach, and after a few more thrusts I came inside of her hard.

I collapsed down on top of her, both of us breathing really hard. She still had her legs wrapped around me and was rubbing my back in circles with her finger tips. I lifted up slightly and kissed her deeply. We laid like that for several minutes just kissing and soaking up each other.

I finally rolled off her and stood up. "Come on you, get up."

She looked up at me confused. "Where are we going?" she asked.

"Shower," I said matter of factly.

She smiled and reached out taking my hand. I pulled her off the bed and led her through the room into the bathroom.

"You know buying that little nighty was a sneaky little move on your part," I told her as I turned on the shower.

When I turned to her she was leaning against the sink with a mischievous grin on her face. "I didn't see you complaining," she said to me.

I sauntered over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Who says I was complaining? I just said it was sneaky…but I like it." I leaned in and kissed her deeply.

She then pushed me from her while laughing. Bella walked over to the shower, sashaying her hips like fucking _Jessica Rabbit_, hypnotizing me. Fuck me, Bella had one fine looking ass. My thoughts quickly turned even more perverted than they already were. _Hmm, the things I would love to do to that ass of hers._ My vision of bending Bella over the bathroom sink was interrupted as Bella turned her head and looked at me seductively over her shoulder and then stepped in without another word. She was fucking working it for me, and I loved it…my little minx.

My cock pointed me in the right direction as I stepped in behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her, my chest resting up against her back.

"Oh no you don't," I whispered into her ear, "You don't get away from me that easily."

I grabbed her breasts and she pushed her ass back into my again aroused cock.

"Bel…la," I moaned, "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

"Mmmm…I have a feeling I know," she smiled over her shoulder as she reached back and grabbed my dick in her hands.

"Fuck me," I blurted out, my eyes clamped shut. I had to reel in my emotions or else I would've just shoved her against the shower wall, plowing right into her. I didn't want to be rough with Bella…yet.

"With pleasure," she said as she leaned forward and placed her hands on the wall of the shower and rocked back, burying my dick inside of her again.

I mumbled out a string of expletives as I thrust in and out of her from behind. I knew right then and there that I would never tire being inside Bella connected like this. I ran my hands over her ass, up her back, and back down again. The water was spattering around us, little droplets of water creating patterns on her back. Bending down a little, I sucked on her back and licked the water off her. Bella moaned in appreciation, so I did the same to her shoulders. Bella took one of her hands and threaded it through my hair, taking a fistful and pulling. I reached forward and grabbed her tits roughly. Bella's back arched even further back and she met my thrusts.

"Harder!" she commanded me.

"Fuck, Bella. You can't say that shit to me. You're driving me out of my mind right now," I panted.

Turning her head to me and meeting my eyes, Bella moaned and took her bottom lip between her teeth. She looked so fucking sexy whenever she did that, especially now, when I could observe just how much she was enjoying my dick moving inside her.

"Come on, Edward. You know you want to," she winked at me, giving me the go ahead to pound into her.

"Your wish is my command, Baby," I smirked. I slid my cock out and proceeded to ram right the fuck back into her with gusto. Bella screamed out, her hands smacking against the wall of the shower.

"Yes, that's it! More, please, Edward. I'm so close," she moaned.

I grunted and grabbed her hips and slammed into her over and over again. We were like two caged animals growling and crying out as we listened to the slapping sound of our bodies making contact with each other. Both of us were breathing so hard, completely lost in our own world of pleasure. I reached around the front of her and flicked at her clit. This only made her slam back even harder into my dick. I kept my finger there working her towards her release. Finally after a few passes of my finger she screamed out and I felt her come. I had to reach out and hold her around the waist so that her legs didn't give out on her.

I could feel my release coming, that tightening feeling bubbling in my stomach. My heart was pounding in my chest, my pulse beating in my ears. I picked up my pace and pounded into her a few more times before I felt my dick pulsing, as I spilled my seed inside her. I pressed my forehead into her back, trying to regain my strength, as I panted.

"Shit that was so fucking incredible, Bella."

"Mmm, it certainly was. Oh, and Edward," she said, standing up and turning around so she could look me in the eyes, "It's okay to get a little….rough with me sometimes," she blushed.

I was fucking speechless. Did she just give me permission to ramrod her whenever I wanted to? Holy fuck, I can't believe that she's really mine.

We both stood there leaning against the wall, literally trying to hold ourselves up from our jelly legs. Bella reached behind me and turned the water off. I looked up at her questioningly.

"Come on," she said grabbing my hand. "I think we should take a bath instead."

* * *

**Well, I don't know about you guys, but we need a cigarette right about now! Man, who knew Bella was so feisty? Please hit that green button and leave us some love. We are almost at 500 reviews and we want to break 500. Reviewers will get a teaser!!!**

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***We are also collaborating on a very different story with four other fanfic authors. It's called, **_**Wicked Angel**_**. We go by the name, **_**DevilishPleasures**_**. Link is on our profile!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hello everyone! Well, Pauline and I survived the Chicago cold weather, and loved every minute we were there. On our last day, we were privileged enough to visit a firehouse and have an extraordinary brunch with them! Yes, firemen are definitely fabulous cooks! Oh, and we also got to tour the place, ride on two different trucks and go out on fire calls. Of course, we didn't go to real fires, but hey, we got to ride up front and push buttons and sound the sirens off. Pauline even got to ride down the fire pole- I was too chicken. We were even given awesome CFD baseball hats and t-shirts! **

**Thanks to Tracy, our Chicago friend who showed us an amazing time and who was responsible for making the firehouse field trip a possibility. Sue, our other new Chicago friend- when we come to you again, and we definitely will, you better be going out with us one night, missy!**

****On a more serious note, a very dear friend out ours, Suky and her daughter were in Haiti when the devastating earthquake happened. Thankfully, they are safe and with the help of God, finally on a flight back to NYC tomorrow. We love you, Suky! **

**Anyway, if you wish to make a donation to help the people of Haiti, go to **_**mskathyff(dot)blogspot(dot)com**_** for more info. If you donate just $5, and email the receipt to **_**MsKathy**_**, you will receive a compliation of one shots written by many of your favorite authors, including us! We are under **_**DevilishPleasures**_** and helped write a one shot for our **_**Wicked Angel**_** story we are collaborating on. **

**As always, thanks to our fabulous betas, SweetDulcinea and keepingupwiththekids. You two rock!**

**Disclaimer: You know SM owns Twilight! We just have two bottles of vodka amongst the two of us. Yeah, we like to get our drink on!**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

***BPOV***

"Alright, boys and girls. I would like for everyone to take their reading journals and meet me at the rug area. You should know your spot by now," I instructed my class. Thankfully, my students settled into a smooth routine- one where they knew the consequences if they didn't follow the directions. I was a nice and nurturing teacher, but I was also firm, expecting my class to be able to follow directions and do their work to the very best of their abilities. Sure, I had my "handfuls," like James and Paul, but even they wanted to please me at times.

Once my kids were seated on the rug in rows, I placed myself in my rocking chair, ready for a read aloud. Scanning the small crowd, it never ceased to amaze me just how dependent these kids were on gaining knowledge from me.

"You need to listen for descriptive words that will help you see that picture in your heads," I instructed, smiling when I saw how enchanted they all seemed to be. Just as I held up the book, opening it, preparing myself to read aloud, there was a knock at my door. I told my kids to stay where they were as I got up and walked over to the door. I saw Angela through the narrow frame of glass, looking at me inquisitively. Instantly, I opened the door.

"What's up, Ange?" I asked, holding the door open.

"I just got the most cryptic call from Pat in the front office. She said that the visitors we were expecting for a presentation were here. Did you schedule something for our classes today? You do know that we have that _Mad Science_ assembly in an hour, right?" Angela asked as her brow furrowed.

"Uh, not that I recall. I know that we have something lined up for next week. That woman from the library is coming here to teach the finer points of oral storytelling, but that's about it." Geez, I was just as confused as she was. _What the hell is going on?_

I heard some of my students starting to stir and get antsy, so I turned around and gave them my best teacher "stink eye," and told them that I would join them in a minute. It always worked like a charm.

"Oh. My. God." I heard Angela whisper breathlessly. Instantly, I turned around.

"What? What is it?"

"Look," was all my friend offered as she pointed in the direction in front of her.

I looked and gasped at the sight in front of me. I stared in shock as five determined firefighters strutted down the long hallway toward Angela and me, one of them being the most sexiest in the bunch, and who was most definitely unavailable and taken…by me.

I bit my lip as my eyes traveled up his beautifully clothed body, in all his firefighting gear glory, until they were met with the most breathtaking pair of emerald eyes I had ever seen. His face broke out in his famous panty dropping smirk as his stare was intense and determined. I still couldn't get over the fact that this fine, oh so fine, strong fireman was mine.

We had been insatiable and inseparable upon returning from Chicago almost a month ago. Knowing that Edward wanted to spend just as much time with me as I did with him helped to chip away at any insecurity I had felt in Chicago. Unfortunately, two weeks ago Edward started to make up the time he missed while we were away. He had agreed to work double shifts which resulted in him sleeping at the fire house for a week. Our schedules were conflicting, and even though it sucked royally that we couldn't spend any real time together, I admired him more for being there for his buddies who needed someone to take their shifts. Edward was fiercely loyal and would do anything for his friends and co-workers.

We did have dinner with one another almost every night. I would venture out to the fire house and eat with the guys. A few times Rosalie had come with me because Emmett was on shift. Every night seemed like a Thanksgiving feast, with each guy taking turns cooking. In return, I would do the cleaning up, swatting anyone away who wanted to help me. It was the least I could do for them. Edward was certainly right; firemen were excellent cooks and definitely knew their way around a kitchen. They even let me cook one night. I had made homemade pizzas and judging by the way everyone was scarfing down their slices and hardly speaking, I knew I had passed their cooking expertise test. After dinner, we would usually all hang out and watch TV in their living room area. Whenever there was a call and Edward's truck had to go, I would kiss him goodbye, and judging on the type of call it was and what time of night it was nearing, I would either stay and wait for him to return or return to my apartment and go to bed…alone. It was hard not being able to sleep next to Edward and cuddle with him, because usually during the week, we would take turns spending the night at each other's apartments.

I never got to see Edward during the day after work. So, imagine my surprise when I saw Edward strolling along my school's hallway flanked by his fellow firemen all dressed in blue pants, blue pullovers and black work boots. They each carried their fire hats and black and yellow striped _SFD _fire coats.

"Hot damn, there is just something about a guy dressed in uniform. Mmm, if only Ben were a fireman, I don't think I would ever take my hands off him," Angela whispered.

"You have a hard enough time as it is," I chuckled.

"True, can you imagine if he taught here with us? Oh my, I don't think we would ever have lunch with you, Bella. We would be too busy getting it on in my classroom closet."

"Angela!" I slapped her playfully on her shoulder. "You're so bad…I like it!"

"Seriously, Bella, don't stand there and tell me that if Edward worked here, you wouldn't do the same exact thing," she proclaimed, eyeing me incredulously. "Jesus, he can't keep his eyes off you now and all he's doing is walking down a hallway."

Edward, Emmett, Seth, Eric, and Garrett finally made their way to my classroom. They stopped a few feet away from us and it took all the self control I could muster not to lunge myself at Edward, jumping into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist and grinding myself into him, feeling his painfully hard erection against my aching, wet center.

Ugh, I had to stop myself before my thoughts got the best of me, causing me to erupt in a pool of wetness in my panties. I stepped forward to hug the guys and felt a gush of moisture leak out onto my underwear. Oops…too late! Damn, now I was squishy. I would have to take care of my increasing ache later, maybe dust off my old plastic friend resting in my night table drawer since Edward and I haven't been able to be intimate in a while.

When I reached Edward, he pulled me into a tight embrace and leaned his head into the crook of my neck, his breath fanning the sensitive skin there, causing me to shutter.

"Hey, baby," he whispered.

I pulled back, afraid that I would do something highly inappropriate like push him up against the wall. As it was, I was already horny with my dirty thoughts from a moment ago.

"Hi, yourself. What on earth are you guys doing here?" I asked as my face broke out in the cheesiest smile ever. I was so insanely happy to see him. Regretfully, I had to remain professional, so I backed away from him and assumed my initial stance at the door. He grimaced a little, but he still managed to give me a cute little wink.

Emmett cleared his throat, no doubt trying to cut through the sexual tension that was quickly fogging up the space around us. "Well, since Eddie boy over here was a colossal asswipe when you two brought your kids over to the station, we thought it would be nice to repay you and bring the field trip to you. We even brought the truck over so the kids could take turns pretending to drive it and shit."

"Shh, Emmett! Will you please refrain from cursing in the school where there are children present? And lower your voice, huh?" I chastised my friend, punching him in the shoulder.

"Ow, alright, Bells, no need to get physical. Save all that pent up frustration for lover boy over here," he pointed in Edward's direction. "This dude is in some serious need of some lovin' and you better give it to him soon before he drives me even crazier than he has been lately. Homeboy was practically panting when he saw you in the hallway just now," Emmett declared, elbowing Edward in the ribs. My man shot him a look of death and I knew he was staying silent out of respect for my workplace.

Angela and I giggled, and it wasn't until I felt the door being opened that I realized my class was waiting for me. "Um, Miss Swan? Can I go to the bathroom?" Kim, one of the sweetest girls in my class, asked shyly. Her eyes darted around the unfamiliar faces.

"Sure, Sweetie. Hurry back because Miss Webber and I have a special treat for everyone." I moved out of the way so she could pass and hurry down the hall.

"Wow, thanks for doing this, guys. We have an assembly during the last period and I'm finished teaching for the day. So, this helps me keep my kids in check. Okay, I'm going to pack them up and bring them into your room, Bella." Angela ran next door while I led the guys into my classroom, introducing them to my excited and over eager students.

Once Angela and my classes were settled in the rug area, Emmett took over and began his usual spiel on fire safety he does every year with our classes. Our kids were so psyched and began to clap and yell wildly when Garrett had asked if they wanted to take turns trying on the coats and hats. Luckily, I had some left over disposable cameras from a project we were working on last month, so I was able to take pictures of every student donned in fireman gear.

Angela and I stood in the back of the room observing the men interacting with the kids, and it was the most adorable sight. We got the hugest kick out of some of the girls in our classes who were obviously crushing on the guys. Angela nudged me in my side when she noticed a few of my girls giggling shyly and pointing at Edward, no doubt thinking he was cute, dazzled by his presence. The boys were also comical, trying to stand tall and act tough in front of Edward and his friends. Of course, the guys had our boys practically eating out of the palm of their hands when Eric started to tell stories of the various fires they had to put out, prompting a twenty minute question and answer session. Every once in a while, Edward and I would shoot each other longing glances, smirking because I knew we were both thinking the same thing- we couldn't wait to be connected to one another again. I was hoping that Edward would return to normal hours soon, as the time apart was driving me batty.

We barely had time for the fire truck tour, so Angela and I quickly had the kids put on their coats and follow us out the door. Thankfully, my classroom was the last one at the end of the hall, so the exit was nearby. Everyone had a blast turning on the siren and pretending to talk into the walkie talkie. Each child had the opportunity to sit in the driver's seat and was able to sit in the back of the truck as well. When the truck tour was over, I had one picture left in a camera and took a group shot of all the kids surrounding the firemen. By then, it was time to go to the assembly, so we had to book it back inside so my kids could pack up and we could walk them down to the auditorium. Angela saw my hesitation as I held the door and led the last of the students inside, so she offered to walk both our classes down so I could say goodbye to Edward. I felt a pang in my chest at the knowledge of having Edward leave and go back to work.

"What's wrong, baby?" Edward asked, concern etched on his face as he strode up to face me by the exit door.

"It's just…no, forget it, it's silly. I'm being silly," I shook my head to try to get rid of my negative feelings. I should have been happy that I even saw Edward at all today.

He stepped closer and the spark that always ignited between us when we were near each other started to crackle to life as he placed his strong hand on my shoulder. "Bella, if something is the matter, I want to help you try to fix it. Please, tell me."

"Well, it was so thoughtful of you guys to take time out and surprise us, and I, of course, loved having you here. But I'm not loving the fact that you have to leave now. I miss you and I can't wait until I can see you more. That's all," I breathed, shrugging my shoulders, my head cast down toward the ground. I felt the onslaught of tears that were beginning to sting my eyes. God, I felt like an idiot; I was, after all, still at work. I couldn't let my co-workers see me like this. They would surely start talking about me again, thinking that I was on my way to another breakdown of sorts.

"I know, me too," Edward sighed. "Soon, Beautiful, very soon, okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I told you it was silly," I chucked, lifting my head up to meet his stare.

"No, I feel the same way, trust me. Emmett wasn't lying when he said that I've been bugging the shit out of him. I've been a little…irritable at work lately. I don't like taking matters into my own hands anymore when I know what it's like to have the real thing. Edward cautiously looked over both his shoulders and pulled me away from the door and into a little nook in the stairwell. My back was up against the wall and he pressed his hips into me. He leaned down and placed a warm kiss on my neck before putting his lips against my ear and whispered to me.

"Bella, I've missed you over the past few weeks just as much, if not more, than you have missed me. I promise you that the next time we are alone I am going to show you just how much I have missed you, over and over and over again." He then licked the skin just below my ear and before he pulled back I felt his lips turn up into a grin. He pulled back and stepped away smirking. "I gotta go now, Beautiful."

"Edward, god, you can't say things like that to me. I was already feeling all warm and gooey when I saw you strut down toward me before. Now, you've left me no choice," an evil little smirk spread across my lips as I turned to walk up the steps. "I'm just going to have to go home now, strip out of my work clothes, lay all alone in my big bed, and take matters into _my own_ hands," I said seductively to him over my shoulder as I made my way back towards my class room.

_Two could play at that game._

"Jesus, Bella. What the hell am I supposed to do with this now?" he said. When I looked back at him he was pointing to the bulge in his pants and all I could do was giggle.

"Well, that looks like a big problem you got there darlin'. You better put your uniform jacket on to cover that up," I said to him before turning the corner back to my classroom, leaving him with his mouth gaping open.

I heard the guys call for Edward in the distance, to which he called back, rather irritatingly, "Alright, I'm coming!" He let out a huge gust of air, "I gotta go, but I'll call you later, okay?" he called out to me.

"Alright," I said, peeking back around the corner at him. "Oh, don't forget that I'm going out with the girls tonight. I believe Emmett and Jasper are meeting us out. I wish you could come," I pouted a little, my bottom lip jutting out.

"Me too, Beautiful. Me too." Edward leaned down and brushed his lips softly against my cheek. I melted instantly, my body burning with desire and that was just from a kiss on the cheek. "Bye," he whispered.

"Goodbye," I breathed as I watched his retreating form move in the direction of his friends.

Since I had a prep period at the end of the day, I didn't have to join my students in the auditorium; the art teacher was going to dismiss them from there when the assembly was over. I decided to make good use of my free time and tidy up my classroom closet. I had ordered a bunch of different leveled reading books, and I wanted to organize them on my shelves. Not every classroom had a closet, but I was lucky, having not only a closet, but one of the biggest classrooms in the school. I took advantage of my space. My closet was narrow but long, with shelves lining the walls and almost reaching to the ceiling. I had to use a step ladder in order to get to the upper shelving. The door to the closet locked from the inside, and you needed a key to get into it. It was a really heavy door and it took a couple of chairs to hold it open.

Once I got the door situated, so it wouldn't close, I began to bring in the boxes of books. I plopped them on the floor and sorted through each level. Gathering a bundle of books in my arms, I climbed the step ladder very carefully, as I could totally see myself fall and break an ankle or something.

It had only been about fifteen minutes since Edward and the guys left and I was still reeling at the fact that he was so sweet to make up that fieldtrip from hell when he had been a complete jerk to me. I smiled to myself remembering how I slammed my body against him accidentally and how I instantly felt a connection between us. Now, a few months later, I felt even more connected and attuned to him, if that were even possible. I was so caught up in my reverie that I moved slightly to place a book on the shelf, causing me to lose my balance a bit. I wobbled back and forth, trying to steady myself when I felt two hands grab my waist, holding me in place. I gasped as I felt the familiar tingle I usually experienced when a certain someone placed their hands on me. _What the…?_

Slowly turning around, my eyes cast down on the loveliest shade of brown-bronze hair in the haphazard way I loved so much. Edward looked up to flash me the sexiest grin, but he looked a little sneaky as well, like he was plotting something.

"Edward? What are you…"

"Shh," he silenced me, "I came back to surprise you. I overheard you talking with Angela about how you had the last period free, so I waited in my car until enough time had passed so you wouldn't expect me back." His hands were burning holes through my black jersey knit dress, straight to my flesh, as his thumbs were rubbing circles around my hip bones. I felt my face flush, knowing that my cheeks were stained red.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I questioned, my hands automatically threading through his thick mane of hair. He always loved when I did that.

"Mmm, that feels good. But to answer your question, no, I'm not. Surprise number three- I'm back to my normal shift come Monday, and the Chief even gave me two days off. So, it looks like you're stuck with me for the weekend." His grin widened to show his perfectly straight teeth.

"Really? Oh, babe, that's fantastic!" I gleefully replied, bending down to plant a kiss on his lips. Edward decided to grab me harder to pull me closer so he could give me a real mouth watering, panty wetting kiss. God, it had been so long. I mean, we kissed while I was at the firehouse, but I was a little reluctant to really fool around with him upstairs in the sleeping quarters. Anyone can enter at anytime, and not to mention, the men's locker room was connected to it, so no one really ever had any real privacy.

I felt myself pool down below as I moaned into his mouth, fisting his hair, drawing him closer. I wanted to eat him up, devour him whole. I guessed he felt the same because before I knew it, Edward was climbing the step ladder so he could be level with me. I don't know how long we stayed fused together like that, like dogs in heat, but when I pulled away so I could finally breathe - more like pant - I noticed that the door to the closet was opened. I immediately froze, nervous that someone could have witnessed our little display of affection.

Edward, turned to see why I was looking like a deer staring into headlights and smirked when he climbed down the two steps to push the chairs that were holding the door open out of the way so the door would shut. Then he locked the door. Once that happened, he came back to me while I descended the ladder, reaching the floor in one piece. His hands gripped my ass immediately, lunging me against his arousal.

"Jesus, Bella, what are you wearing underneath this dress, if you can call this flimsy piece of fabric a dress?" he said in almost a growl. "And where did you get those _fuck me_ boots from? You've never worn them for me." He was rubbing up my legs, pushing the bottom of my dress up as he made his way up to my thighs. "Oh, let's not even get started on how you are begging to be fucked good and proper by yours truly while you wear your hair up in that messy bun of yours and those damn glasses."

I giggled, "You likey, do you Edward? Well, I'll be willing to wear this again if you'd like without any undergarments. The boots are new. I bought them last week with Alice. She had a feeling you would like them. And you've seen me in these glasses, so there's nothing new about that," I shrugged, snaking my arms around his neck.

"Yes, but that was before we were together, babe. Every damn time I saw you in these glasses, I just about busted a nut in my pants. I couldn't be near you most of the time," he leaned in to suck on the spot right below my ear, where he knew I liked to be kissed.

"Mmm, and here I always thought that you really didn't find me attractive and that you weren't interested in me." I closed my eyes, reveling in the touch of Edward's tongue against my flesh.

He stopped his movements, looking straight into my eyes, his face serious. "Are you crazy, woman? I've always wanted you, but I was too scared to do anything about it because of the guilt I was harboring about Tanya. Now that I have made peace with everything, I'm able to give all of myself to you, Bella. Never doubt again that I want you, you got that?"

""Yes, sir," I answered, scrunching my brows, mocking him playfully. He smiled and leaned in to brush his lips against mine, teasing me with his tongue as it deliciously licked my lower lip slowly, sensually.

The mere mention of Tanya's name didn't evoke the same knot in my stomach like I used to get. I trusted Edward and knew that he truly was at peace with Tanya's passing. I had to let go of the "what if's" if I was going to give my whole self to him. I stopped wondering how Edward would have felt about me if Tanya was still alive or had been in a coma. By refraining from that line of thinking, I stopped feeling that I was second best or just a stand-in for the woman he really loved but could not have. My doubts about his feelings for me surfaced from time to time, but I no longer allowed those negative thoughts to fester in my mind. I was falling in love with this beautiful man, and it made me feel so carefree and happy, eroding away the wounds that Jake had etched on my heart. Of course, I was going to keep the falling in love part to myself for a while, not wanting to scare Edward away. He had made such progress in lifting the boulder of guilt he had constantly carried on his shoulders and around his heart.

Edward squeezed my ass hard, breaking me from my thoughts. Lifting me slightly off the ground, I took the hint and instantly wrapped my legs around his waist. He turned to the right, moving forward and pressing me against the bookshelves. My thoughts turned to the conversation Angela and I had earlier about how she would totally fool around in her closet if given the chance. I giggled into Edward's mouth at the thought, causing him to pull back and eye me skeptically.

"Uh, something funny, Miss Swan?"

"Sorry, I was thinking about a conversation with Angela when she said that she wishes Ben worked with her so she could do what we were going to do now in her closet."

"And what is it that we are doing?" he smirked.

"Well," I started, my hands gliding up into his pullover, raking over his chiseled chest down to the waist of his pants, "I believe you told me that I was begging to be fucked by you good and proper." Leaning back, I popped open the button of his pants and wasted no time in wrapping my hand around his extremely hard, leaking of pre-cum cock. I started stroking up and down his shaft, my thumb pressing against the head and spreading around the liquid that had already seeped out of him.

"Ugh…shit…Baby," he breathed into my chest, nuzzling his mouth against my hardened nipples, arousing me further. He lifted my dress and reached into my drenched panties from behind, his fingers sinking down lower, seeking my pleasure zone. As soon as he reached my promised land, I cried out. It had been way too long since his fingers mingled down there, and I was aching for a release so badly.

"God, you know how I love that I make you so soaking wet. I love when you stroke my cock, Bella. Your hands feel so fucking good," he thrusted into my hand. His fingers started to dance over where I needed him the most, causing me to rock against his hand to increase the friction. I could already feel the tightness creeping into my stomach, ready to literally explode onto his hand.

I leaned in and seared my lips to his, pushing my tongue in his mouth, wanting to claim it as mine forever. Edward started to slow the pace of the kiss by brushing his tongue along mine in perfect synchronization with the fingers that were pushing and rubbing along my clit. This man definitely knew how to kiss, and more importantly, he knew how I desired to be kissed, as though it came naturally to him. I could spend hours and hours just lip locked and tongue tied with Edward, knowing I would probably cum from that alone.

Edward grunted, a signal that he was close to his peak. Our movements became fast and frantic as we so desperately craved the release we had longed for these past couple of weeks. "Edward…ungh…I'm going to cum," I moaned into his neck, licking his salty skin. We were both starting to glisten with sweat. It didn't help matters that there was no ventilation in the closet.

"Let go, Baby. I'll be right behind you," was all that Edward managed to say as he dove for my beasts, licking my nipple through the flimsy material. When he bit down gently, causing that delicious balance of pleasure and pain, I came hard all over his fingers. I tilted my head back, closed my eyes, and increased my movements against Edward's dick. A few more thrusts from Edward and he moaned into my neck. Before I knew it, his cock was pulsing in my palm, and I could feel his release surging through him. He came in my hand in hard, warm spurts. I slipped my hand out of his pants carefully, as I reached for the box of tissues I had stashed in here…thank god. I wiped my hand clean, as Edward pulled out from my panties and proceeded to make sure he had my attention while he licked his two fingers that were soaked in my juices. I've never seen anything hotter.

"Oh my God, I really needed that, Babe," I whispered, unlocking my legs from his waist and placing my hands on Edward's shoulders so I could find my equilibrium again and stand on my feet. I fixed my dress and straightened my glasses, which had gone askew during our closet fun time.

Edward's crooked grin played on his face as he adjusted himself and buttoned up his pants. He stepped closer to wrap his muscular arms around my waist and planted a chaste kiss on my lips. "Come on, Beautiful. Let's go back to my place so I can really have my way with you properly before we have to be sociable and hang out with our friends tonight."

"Hmm, I thought you already had your way with me now?"

"No, my dear Bella, that was just the appetizer," he said, his hand cupping my breast while his thumb played with my nipple. "Now I want to skip the main course and go straight to dessert," Edward wagged his eyebrows in my direction.

"Ugh, do we really have to go out tonight, Edward? Can't we just stay in and be with each other? I think Alice would understand," I tilted my head a bit and batted my eyelashes, hoping to convince him to go along with my plan.

"I wish we could, Baby, but I think that tonight we will be out celebrating. I'm pretty sure that Emmett's going to propose to Rose before we meet up tonight."

My eyes popped out of my head, "Oh my gosh, really? Rose is going to flip! She's been waiting for him to ask her for months now." I was so hoping this was really going to happen for her. They were such a match made in Heaven.

"Yeah, he's been seeking my advice on rings because…well…you know, I had… bought one for Tanya." I sensed that Edward was uncomfortable because he didn't want me to feel badly, so I placed my hand on his cheek, smiling and nodding my head in encouragement, letting him know it was okay to talk about it.

"That's great, Edward. I'm glad that he had someone to go to. I don't think Jasper has enough money saved yet to ask Alice, and since you know a little about ring buying, he wanted to come to you. I think that's sweet."

He let out a chuckle, "Well, he's nervous as shit about it. I even gave him some ideas on ways he should propose. I think he's going with one of my suggestions. And don't even think about asking me because I want you girls to be truly surprised when Rose tells you her story."

"Hmmph, okay," I relented.

"Now, let's get you out of here so we can continue this at home. Then, we'll go out and be sociable. But after the night is over, I plan on taking you again and again, Bella, so you better be ready for what's coming because I have missed being inside you. I need to be close to you, Baby." He breathed the last part as he pressed his forehead against mine.

"I know, Babe. I feel the same way. I can't wait to feel you inside me. Okay, we really need to go now before we never leave this closet for days," I laughed.

Edward lifted his head from mine and nodded. I moved toward the door, holding my hand out for his. He eagerly took it as I unlocked the door, opening it and slowly peering around to check if the coast was clear. Edward made a swift exit, but not before kissing me softly on my lips, promising to see me very soon. I told him he had better be waiting for me in his bed.

"Bella, you don't have to tell me twice. I'd wait for you forever if it meant you would eventually show up," Edward answered.

_Forever._ That one lone word had so much weight and meaning to it. I thought about tonight and how happy I was going to be for my best friend. She was going to get her _forever_ with the man of her dreams. I couldn't help but think how one day that could possibly be me, how I wanted it to be me. I smiled at the thought of _my_ forever being Edward and realized that I did want that with him.

Yeah, it was going to be a great night.

* * *

**Well, I once had a closet like Bella in my classroom, but sadly, I never got to use it for any sexual recreation…lol!**

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	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hi boo boos! I'm not going to give you a big song and dance author's note because I know I took too long to write this chapter. I was having a case of writer's block…go figure…it happens, don't judge (LOL). We love you all, we read every single review you send us, and we take into consideration your suggestions when you write…so leave us some love at the end!**

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**Chapter 17**

**EPOV**

I walked into my apartment and dropped down onto the couch with a loud, audible sigh.

"Rough day?" Jasper asked from where he was sitting watching TV.

"Nothing too out of the ordinary, but I'm damn near exhausted." I leaned my head back onto the couch cushion and closed my eyes to rest.

Ever since returning from Chicago, I had been working double shifts, covering for guys who had covered for me when I was out of town. I barely had a chance to see Bella and when I did, I was always too tired to be any fun.

"How did your presentation go with Bella and Angela's class today?"

A soon as the words left his mouth, a huge, shit eating grin, spread across my face.

"What's with that smile?" He asked me while raising his eyebrow inquisitively.

I lifted my head up and opened my eyes to look at him. "Let's just say that after I gave the kids the tour of the truck, and they left for their assembly, I got a nice private tour of Miss Swan's classroom."

"Ah, I see," Jasper said laughing while leaning out to bump fists with me. "Alice loved the tour of my classroom, too. She always volunteers to help me clean my closet out at the end of each school year."

I laughed for a moment before stopping myself. "Hey, that's my cousin…sick."

Jasper just laughed and threw the remote at me as he stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I just had an impulse to go and see if Alice was home from work yet."

I threw the couch cushion at him as he left out the front door, laughing the entire way down the hallway to the elevators.

I had some time to kill before I needed to start getting ready to go out tonight, so I picked up the remote that Jasper had thrown my way and started flipping through the channels. There was a light knock on the door before it opened and Bella peeked her head around.

"Hi," she smiled to me.

"Hey there, gorgeous," I said as I held out my arms for her to come to me.

I was still lying on the couch, so she straddled my hips and leaned over to give me a kiss. As soon as our lips met she parted hers slightly and I slipped my tongue in her mouth. Our kiss deepened and Bella moaned. My hands slid up and down her sides before I wrapped them around her back and hugged her to me tightly. I would never tire of kissing and holding this woman. Everything just felt better having her close to me. When we finally broke our kiss, she collapsed on top of me and I rubbed up and down her back while she nuzzled her face into the crook of my neck.

"I had to come up here and see you as soon as Jasper came over and told me you just got home."

I cocked an eyebrow at her playfully. "Can't get enough of me, huh, Miss Swan? I've been known to have that effect on the ladies."

"Well Casanova, as I recall you were the one who came back looking for me in my closet at school. So who's the one who can't get enough of who?" she said to me seductively." My little diva was coming out to play.

"Hey…I'll be the first to admit…I can't get enough of you…probably never will," I told her half playing, but a hundred percent truthfully.

She leaned down again and gave me a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose. "Me too," she whispered.

Then she sat up and started to laugh. "Plus…with the way Jasper was stalking through our apartment looking for Alice like an animal in heat I knew I had to get out of there pronto!"

I laughed. "Well, just as long as the two of them keep that shit behind closed doors, because I have no desire to see Alice get man handled." I wrapped my arms around her tighter, letting my fingers circle over the exposed skin between her shirt and pants. "I could get used to coming home to this," I told her as I kissed the top of her head. "We should do a roommate swap."

I could have sworn that she gasped a little bit and then I felt a smile creep across her mouth as they lingered on my neck. Wait…was it possible that Bella wanted to live together? It was too soon. Wasn't it?

But before I could entertain the thought any more she sat back up and ran her thumbs underneath my eyes. "You look so tired. Are you sure you even want to go out tonight?" She asked me with such concern on her face.

"It's been a long couple of weeks, but my schedule is back to normal now, and since I have a few days off, I'll live. Plus this is a big night for Emmett and Rosalie. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"How was Emmett before he left work tonight?" She asked as I sat up into a seated position and adjusted Bella so she would be more comfortable but still straddling in my lap.

"Honestly?" I said and couldn't contain the laugh that fell out of my mouth. "He was a nervous wreck. He seemed really calm all day, but after we got home from your school, I think the reality of the situation started to hit him. He showered at the firehouse so that he could leave and go pick up Rosalie right after work, but we made him take another shower because when he got out of the first one and got dressed, he started sweating from his nerves."

Bella laughed. "Do you have any idea how he is going to ask her?"

"I didn't ask," I told her honestly. "I figured if he wanted me to know, he would have told me. I think he wants her to have her moment to tell everyone about it. We all have to act surprised when they get to the club tonight. Well…that's if she says yes."

"Of course she is going to say yes, Edward. What girl could resist marrying a really nice guy, who just happens to be a hot ass fireman to boot. She's a very lucky girl."

Bella seemed to get embarrassed at the realization of what she just said. She turned red, obviously catching herself saying something that could describe our situation as well. I just smiled because she looked so cute when she blushed, but I didn't want her to be embarrassed. I leaned in and whispered into her ear. "It sounds to me like it would be the guy who would be the lucky one."

I kissed the skin right below her ear, pulling her into me. She tickled the skin on the back of my neck, running them up into my hair. I grazed my fingertips over the sides of her breasts, memorizing every curve of her body. I wanted the map of her body…and her soul…to be emblazed into my memory.

She pulled back and when our eyes met, we sat there for a moment just staring at each other, having some type of unspoken communication go on between us. It was still a fairly new relationship, and neither of us was ready to breach the _marriage_ topic just yet, but that doesn't mean it wasn't something that crossed my mind. Especially when I went to help Emmett pick out the ring for Rosalie. I knew Bella and I still had a while to go before we would be ready to think about that with each other, but I knew if things between us remained as good as they were now, she was definitely someone I could see spending my life with. When I wasn't with her, I wanted to be, and when I was with her, I didn't want to let her go. She healed my heart and allowed me to let Tanya go. I never thought I would ever find someone who could do that for me, and now that I had found her and had her…I would be damned if I was going to live my life without her.

Bella broke the silence by bringing her hand to my face. "Why don't you go lay down for a little bit? Take a nap before we go out. I'll make dinner for us and wake you when it is ready."

I couldn't deny that I was tired. I was thankful that I could sleep in tomorrow, but I didn't want to be total fucktard tonight by falling asleep on my feet at the club.

Bella helped me up off the couch and walked me down the hall to my room. When she flipped the lights on, she looked around at the mess in my room and shook her head.

"Sorry for the mess," I said to her feeling embarrassed. I was normally fairly neat but I had been so hectic that I didn't have time to even care about the mess. "I haven't had time to do laundry for the past few weeks and when I was home it was really quick in between shifts."

She just laughed and shook her head at me. "You. Bed. Now."

"I love it when you are demanding," I said as I snaked my arms around her from behind and startled her when I ground my obvious hard on into her.

"Edward, don't make this harder on me than necessary…definite pun intended by the way. I need to let you rest and you aren't playing fair right now. I have to walk away from you right now for your own good," she said through fits of laughter as she pulled back and swatted me away. "Do you mind if I go through the cabinets in the kitchen to try and find something to make for dinner?"

"Not at all," I told her as I sat on the bed and removed my work boots. "I don't know what the hell we have because I haven't been grocery shopping in two weeks, but you are welcome to anything in there."

"I'm sure I'll find something, and if I need to, I can always cover my eyes and run into my apartment and grab something. Hopefully Alice and Jasper won't be going at it on the counter in the kitchen again…"

"Bella, please!"

"Ha ha," she said as she walked out of my room and shut off the lights.

* * *

I rolled over in my bed so I was lying on my back. I had no idea how long I had been sleeping, but it could have been a week as far as I knew. I looked over at the alarm clock on my nightstand. _Eight o'clock_. Wow, not too bad. I only had slept for two hours, but I felt completely refreshed and invigorated. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and rubbed my eyes. All of a sudden I was hit with the aroma of something fucking awesome. My stomach immediately started to growl as I got up and made my way to the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen and saw Bella standing with her back to me cutting vegetables at the counter. She was bopping up and down to the music she had playing. I just smiled. She looked so fucking cute when she danced. I quietly walked up behind her, slid my arms around her waist, and rested my chin on her shoulder. She jumped a little at first but then relaxed back into me with a sigh.

"You know," I said to her, "I am just now realizing that I shouldn't have snuck up behind you considering that you are cutting vegetables with an extremely large kitchen knife. The image of John Bobbitt just crossed my mind," I cringed at the thought.

Bella laughed at me. "Well, that wasn't an accident, but perhaps sneaking up on someone who is using a knife isn't the best idea."

"Something smells so delicious," I told her while kissing her neck, "and the food doesn't smell too bad either." I lightly bit down on her skin and she rolled her neck back and moaned.

"Edward, you're killing me here. But I'm making roasted chicken. It should be ready in about fifteen to twenty minutes. If you would like to go shower, it will be ready when you get out."

"Well I guess that means you can't join me," I pouted.

"Not this time, hot stuff, but tonight after the club you are all mine," she told me while bending forward slightly to stick her butt out and grind into me.

I grabbed her hips to stop her. "Bella," I warned. "Don't start something that you can't finish."

She placed the knife down on the counter and turned to face me, wrapping her arms around my neck. The look in her eyes was very seductive, as was the tone of her voice. "Oh Edward, I fully plan on finishing, just not until later. Why do you think I wanted you to nap? Not so much for the club, but more for after the club. I want you to have plenty of energy this evening. You started more than enough in my closet at work today, and I intend on finishing later."

She stood up on her toes and kissed my lips before stepping away and whipping me in the ass with the dishtowel she had on the counter. "Now go…get! Out of my kitchen while I finish dinner."

I gave her ass a nice whack of my own before I walked out of the kitchen. _Her kitchen, _apparently_. _I kind of liked the sound of that.

I took a quick shower, dried off, and wrapped a towel around my hips to make my way into my room. I had no idea what the hell I was going to wear tonight. All my clothes were dirty from lack of time to do laundry the past two weeks. When I walked into my room and flipped on the light, I was shocked. My floor was no longer covered in dirty clothes, and there on the edge of my bed sat a basket filled with clean and folded laundry.

I heard a noise and turned to see Bella leaning against my doorframe. "I hope you don't mind that I did your laundry and cleaned up a bit."

"No, not at all…" I stuttered out. "But when?"

"When you were sleeping. After I finished prepping the chicken and got it in the oven. I really didn't have anything to do, so I came into your room and figured that you might need some things cleaned for tonight. Apparently, you can sleep through a tornado, but I did try to be quiet. The last load finished when you were in the shower. I would have put them away, but I didn't want to go through your drawers."

"Bella," I said stalking towards her and pulling her into me, "you can go through my drawers any time you'd like."

"Oh," she said and then her eyes got wide, "oh my!" she said at the realization of the double entendre I had in that statement.

I got serious though. "You didn't have to do that, but thank you, Bella. I kind of like feeling taken care of by you."

"And I kind of like taking care of you," she said as she blushed. "Now I gotta get out of this room because seeing you standing here in nothing but a towel is distracting and I don't want to burn the chicken."

I laughed and smacked her butt again as she turned and walked out of my room. I laughed harder when it made her squeal.

After we finished eating the wonderful dinner she had prepared, she left to return to her apartment so she could start getting ready for going out. Jasper came back upstairs and flashed me a big fucking grin before he headed into the bathroom to shower.

"Whatever dude," I said to him, "Just keep it to yourself. I don't want to have to fucking hear about it."

* * *

Jasper, Alice, Bella and I arrived at Eclipse around midnight. Rosalie had already called Bella's cell phone to make sure we were all going because she had some "good news" that she wanted to tell us all at once. Bella did her best to not let on to Rosalie that we all knew, which was hard since she had Alice standing in her face while she was on the phone jumping up and down and clapping. I was hysterically laughing while Bella was trying, unsuccessfully, to swat her away. At least I wasn't the only one who Alice annoyed.

As soon as we entered the club, we were seated at a table in what had to be the VIP section. It was located to the side off the dance floor. There were leather bench-like couches around three sides of the low table set in the middle, and our waitress immediately brought us over a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka and an assortment of juices and sodas for mixed drinks. I wasn't really sure why we were getting the red carpet treatment until I saw Alice and Jasper waving. I looked up and saw Victoria standing by the bar. When she saw me, she tipped her glass to me, and I gave a slight wave before nervously looking over at Bella for her reaction.

She smiled at me and slid into my lap. She ran her fingers through my hair and used it to pull my head towards her. She brought her lips right up to mine, but before she kissed me, she whispered. "She can look all she wants. As long as she understands no touching, there will be no problem." She pushed her lips the rest of the way and kissed me deeply. When she pulled her lips out of the kiss, she then ran her tongue from my chin, along my jaw, stopping at my ear where she whispered, "I can't wait to get you home tonight."

She pulled her head back and I looked up at her with my eyes bugging out of my head. I swear if Emmett and Rosalie did not show up just at that moment I would have dragged Bella into the bathroom. It didn't help the situation either that she had worn these tight, black, leather pants tonight with a satin, silver halter shirt that was so low in the back that I was pretty sure she wasn't wearing a bra.

But I was snapped out of my reverie by the sound of three shrieking squeals. Rosalie was standing in the middle holding out her hand while Bella and Alice danced around her. All three of them making a noise that I was sure dogs could hear in neighboring counties. Jasper, Emmett and I stuck our fingers in our ears to prevent going deaf. Once the commotion died down, and a complimentary bottle of champagne had been opened and poured, Rosalie sat on Emmett's lap while she gave us the play-by-play of their evening.

"Emmett picked me up after he got off of work and told me that he was going to take me to buy my Christmas tree tonight. We got the tree back to my condo and Emmett got it all set up in the living room. After we had a little mini picnic with Chinese food, Em helped me get all my decorations out of the attic and we started decorating the tree. We were just about done. We had the lights up and most of the decorations. The only thing I had left to hang were the glass ornaments that I have individually wrapped in a smaller storage box. I was standing up on the little step stool and Emmett was handing me the ornaments one at a time so I could hang them. I reached back to take the last one from him and when I went to hang it up on the tree, I stopped and took a closer look. It was my engagement ring attached to a little wire ornament hook. I was confused at first, but when I turned all the way around to look at him, he was down on one knee." Rosalie turned to look at Emmett and a tear slid down her face. "I was immediately in tears, and Em gently pulled me down off the step stool to sit me on the one knee he had up that he wasn't kneeling on. He said, 'Rosalie Lillian Hale, will you make me the happiest guy in the world and agree to marry me?'"

"So what did you say?" Jasper said, immediately garnering a punch in the arm from Alice. "Ow," he said laughing while rubbing his arm.

Emmett and I laughed at him. We all stood up and high-fives and hugs went around. Everyone was happy and in the celebratory mood. We all did a few shots to toast as well. The drinks were flowing steadily.

"I love this song," Rosalie yelled out after her fourth shot. Alice and Bella agreed and stood to grab Rose's hand and dragged her out to the dance floor.

All of a sudden I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw that I had a text message from Pete back in Chicago. I wrote him back quickly to let him know I was out but I'd give him a call the next day. I placed my phone back into my pocket and realized I was now the only one sitting at the table. I looked up and saw Emmett and Jasper dancing with their respective other halves. Emmett was dirty dancing with Rosalie and Jasper was grinding into Alice, who had her back up against the wall.

I looked a little further off to the side and all the blood rushed out of my head…well out of one head and straight into my other. Bella had her back to me and was dancing in her own little world. Her hips were swaying from side to side with the beat of the song. She lifted her hands above her head and the skin on the small of her back was exposed. It was so sexy. I wanted to lick that spot.

My focus shot over Bella's shoulder where I saw two guys staring at her. One was apparently pointing her out to his friend. The friend was obviously egging him on to go and talk to Bella. I saw him take a big gulp from his beer before he placed it down on the table and took a few strides towards her. In a split second I was up, and it only took me a couple of steps before I reached her. I slid my arm around her waist and pulled her towards me so her back was flush with my chest. Mr. Frat Boy took notice and turned around quickly to head back to his friends.

_What? At least I didn't walk over and pee on her to mark what was mine._

"Hey there, gorgeous," I whispered into her ear as I ground my hips and moved them with hers in time with the beat of the music.

She turned her face towards me. "Hey there yourself, handsome. I didn't know you could dance."

"Well, you won't catch me tap dancing or doing fucking ballet, but I can dance with my girl."

She laughed and turned around so she was facing me. Her hands trailed across my stomach, up my chest and around my neck. We continued dancing, grinding, just feeling the music. Her eyes were staring into mine intensely. Without breaking eye contact, she slid all the way down my body to the floor and then back up again. When she was standing up, I thrust my hips into hers again and grabbed one of her legs and hitched it over my hip while gently pushing her back into the wall. We were panting at each other and I knew if we didn't get out of the club now I was going to fuck her right up against the wall. We were both a little drunk, and definitely a lot horny. Without saying a word, I let her leg slide back down onto the floor and stepped back from her.

"Grab your stuff, say your goodbyes, and let's go. I need to get you home now!"

Bella didn't hesitate. She licked her lips at me while pushing herself off the wall. She ran over to the table and grabbed her coat and purse and then ran over to Rosalie and Alice to give them quick hugs before she was back to me. "Let's go," she said to me desperately, "now!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me through the club towards the door.

* * *

The next two days were spent in total bliss. Bella and I had a chance to spend some much needed time together. In fact, since we got back to my apartment after the club, Bella didn't leave. Emmett was more or less living at Rosalie's, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before he officially moved all his stuff out and into her condo, now that they were engaged. Jasper was always at Alice and Bella's apartment, only coming home to grab some fresh clothes, and Bella was staying here with me.

Maybe that whole "swapping roommates" comment that I had made on Friday wasn't so farfetched. I think everyone was sort of thinking it, but because Bella and I were still so new as a couple, Alice and Jasper didn't want to bring it up. So for now, everyone was skirting around the issue since it seemed to be unofficially happening anyway.

Bella and I spent the entire weekend holed up in my apartment, neither of us really having any interest in leaving to go anywhere. We hadn't had much time to spend together, and we were very content staying in. When we got home Friday night, we had barely made it into the front door before we were attacking each other in a sexual frenzy. We ended up having sex on the floor just inside the door. Well…the floor, the couch, the kitchen counter and against the wall leading into my bedroom…to be specific…but who's keeping track?

Saturday morning I woke up early and snuck out into the kitchen, careful not to wake Bella, and I made her breakfast in bed. She was always cooking for me, and I wanted to show her that I could return the favor. She was pleasantly surprised when I walked into the room with a tray of coffee, orange juice and waffles covered with fresh strawberries and whipped cream. After we finished breakfast, I took the tray from her and placed it on the floor. While the night before had been frantic and rough, Saturday was slow and sensual. I wanted to make sure that she not only knew how how much I cared for her, but truly felt it too. I made love to her all day.

Now it was Monday and we both had to return to the real world. I didn't have to be at work until later, but I woke when Bella did and talked to her while she got ready. I was going to be working a twenty-four hour shift, so I kissed her before she left and told her I would call her later and see her tomorrow when she got home from school.

At around three o'clock, I made my way to the firehouse. Emmett was standing out front when I arrived.

"So how was the rest of your evening with Rosalie?" I asked.

"We didn't stay too much later after you and Bella, neither did Jasper and Alice. I think we were all just as eager to get out of there as it appeared you two were. The way you two hauled ass out of Eclipse, you would have thought your ass was on fire," he said with a roaring laugh.

"So things are going well for the two of you, huh?" Emmett asked, his tone getting more serious.

"Yeah, things are going really well. The time we spent in Chicago really helped us get closer."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. Bella has been through so much in the past year, and all any of us wanted was for her to meet someone who would help her forget that asshole Jacob and who would treat her the way she deserves. And…well…let's just say that you have really proved yourself to Jasper and me. We would have killed you if you hurt her."

"I know, and I appreciate that she has you guys looking out for her. But just know that I won't hurt her, and I'll be damned if anyone else will ever again," I told him with all honesty.

The day went by without too much incident. We were called out for a few minor things. There was a small car fire and a dumpster fire that got a little out of control in the area of town where a lot of homeless people would start them to keep warm, but other than that not too much.

We got back to the firehouse at about eleven o' clock and I made my way up to the bunk rooms to try and catch some sleep. I don't know how long I had been asleep when I heard the alarm start to blare. We all flew out of bed and ran down the steps, quickly changing and jumping onto the truck.

When we arrived at the fire, it was in an old section of town. Most of the buildings there were abandoned and falling apart. Emmett quickly gave us the information that he knew. The police had informed dispatch of the circumstances surrounding this building.

"This is a drug house. Mostly squatters and junkies. Although I can't be sure yet, I would say the fire probably started from someone smoking a crack pipe. There tends to be lots of paper in places like this that the squatters use to lay on or use as blankets. This is also a much older building, so be careful of the structure because chances are it was constructed all from wood, with little or no metal structural support."

We all quickly split up into groups. Some of the guys ran to the lift to start seeing if there was anyone on the upper floors. Mike and Eric ran to the hose and started setting that up to get to the flames that were coming out of the first floor window.

"Edward," Emmett called to me, "you come with me. We'll go in through the front door and see if we can find anyone in the basement."

I nodded my head in his direction and followed him toward the building. As soon as we entered, we saw how thick the smoke was already. We both made sure our oxygen masks were on securely as we proceeded into the building to locate the staircase to take us downstairs.

"I found it," I called to Emmett, and he nodded.

We both made our way into the staircase. We could see flames below and we started calling out as we carefully descended the steps to see if there were any people down there.

_CRACK!_

I turned and looked up at Emmett. Realization hitting us both at the same time…this was bad, very bad.

"Quick! Turn around!" I yelled up to him. "Get back up the stairs! They're giving out…they're going to collapse!"

He nodded in understanding and turned and we both started running back up the stairs.

_CRACK! BOOM!_

* * *

**BPOV**

_Ring…ring…ring._

"_What the hell?"_ I thought as I awoke to the sound of ringing.

I was totally out of it and couldn't connect what was waking me up.

_Ring…ring…ring._

It finally dawned on me that it was my cell phone. I quickly glanced at the clock and noted that it was three o'clock in the morning.

I leaned over and found my cell phone lying on my nightstand. I fumbled with it in the dark before I flipped it open to see who was calling me this late at night.

_Rosalie?_

I clicked the button to answer.

"Hello? Rose?"

"Bella!" she said hysterically, "I need you to meet me at the hospital right now!" I barely registered what she was saying because she was screaming and crying, and it was hard to understand her.

_The hospital?_

"Wait, Rose, I need you to calm down. What's wrong? Are you okay?"

My voice was now catching up to her frantic level, and my heart dropped into my stomach as I waited for her to tell me what was wrong.

Her voice came out in a whisper. "It's Emmett and Edward…there's been an accident."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, before I run into a room and hide please know that we have given you some fluffy sexin' chapters on purpose. We had to prep you for the black cloud coming. But…you know us! We aren't evil (okay, maybe we are a little bit, but…). So just sit back and chillax (chill and relax for those of you who don't understand my seventh grade level slang).**

**Okay two things I MUST mention. Please go to our profile and check out the following links. The Sandbox…is a great site for any fan fic fan, author, etc. We have weekly interviews with some of the most popular fan fic authors. **

**I also need to mention that my father is a retired FDNY (worked for the Fire Department of New York City). He is the one whose brain I pick when I have fire related questions. I asked him how likely it was for a staircase to collapse and he told me not likely in a new building, but in an old one...where there was no steel...and the fire started in the basement, much more likely." So just know that Holly and I are not experts but I try to go to the closest source that I can. I mean he was fireman for 29 years...he must know something! After he lived and worked through September 11th in NYC I give him much credit!**

**Holly and I are also collaborating on a very different story with four other fanfic authors. It's called, **_**Wicked Angel**_**. We go by the name, **_**DevilishPleasures**_**. Link is on our profile!**

**Oh…and please, please, please…go and read our new story Beautiful Stranger. It got a shout out from Kassiah on The Fictionators Blog (and I am going to update it tomorrow). She liked it and we think you will too if you give our new baby a chance (if you haven't already done so. Holly and I smooch each and every one of you who have already…xoxo).**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: *Holds bullhorn to mouth and clears throat* Can we have everyone's attention for a moment. We have an announcement: **

**PAULINE AND HOLLY GOT TO MEET ROB PATTINSON! Yup, the one and only RPatz went on the Today Show, and Pauline and I camped out at 4:30 am to get an awesome spot against the barricade. Just look at our new ff profile pic! You can also check out our Facebook page to look at the pics of our exciting day**** He was so nice and I even got to touch him! He's just as pretty up close. We were also part of the audience when he was on Jimmy Fallon. **

**Our night ended by going to the **_**Remember Me**_** premiere sight and being handed free passes for an advanced screening of the movie! **_**Remember Me **_**was such a powerful movie, and Rob was amazing in this. This movie showed us that he has grown as an actor and that he won't be typed cast at all. So go support Rob and see this movie when it hits theaters on March 12****th****!**

**~Sorry for the delay in posting, but we did a little medical research so we could try to be as accurate as possible. Please remember that we are only human and that we are not doctors by trade. Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight and its characters. We now own some pretty damn fabulous pictures of us with RPatz ;)**

**BPOV**

"Rosalie?" Eric said gently, approaching us carefully, his face solemn. Rosalie shot her head up from its resting place…my shoulder. "He's out of surgery and is in the ICU. A nurse will come and get you when it's okay for you to see him. I'm sorry that I have nothing else to report. Have you gotten a hold of his parents?" Eric asked, rubbing his hands over his face. He looked so tired and defeated. We all felt the way he looked.

Rosalie shook her head, her voice barely above a whisper. "No, they're vacationing in Europe for two weeks. They just left last night. Em…Emmett has their itinerary somewhere at my place. I…I just need to find it." Rosalie planted the side of her face against my shoulder again, her long, thick blonde hair creating a veil, covering her face. She started quietly sobbing, her body vibrating against mine, and my heart broke for her…and for me. Tears flooded my eyes for the gazzillionth time and began to stream down my face. My arm gripped my friend tighter, as if this would shield her from her pain, and I kissed the top of her head, murmuring to her that everything was going to be alright. At least I hoped so. Emmett wasn't out of the woods just yet, but it was a good sign that he was out of surgery.

When Alice, Jasper, and I arrived at the hospital, Rose was curled up in a ball in a chair, crying and almost inconsolable. Jasper had immediately lifted Rosalie and rested her on his lap as his arms encircled her, trying to comfort her as best as he could. She clutched onto shirt and sniffled into his neck, not even speaking for the first fifteen minutes. Alice and I were worried sick about Edward, so we went right up to the nurse's station to inquire about him. We were told that someone would come down to talk to us as soon as there was any kind of update. We let them know that we knew the firemen that were up there supporting Edward and Emmett. Alice informed the nurse that she was Edward's cousin and closest living relative, and that I was his girlfriend. She gave us a tight smile and nodded, as though she didn't care. _Bitch_. I was about to say something, but Alice, sensing my frustration, took my hand and led me back to where Rose and Jasper were.

It wasn't until Eric and Mike came over toward us, their faces laced with soot from the fire they had heroically fought, that Rosalie found her voice. They still had their boots and fire pants on, suspenders and all, but they had shed their thick jackets. She shakily asked how her fiancé was doing.

Eric and Mike began to tell us about the fire call they had responded to at an abandoned warehouse. Everyone had split up, trying to find the source of the blaze, with Edward and Emmett heading for the basement. The guys informed us that it wasn't until they were by the entrance of the warehouse that they knew something had gone terribly wrong. Half of the floor had fallen to the basement along with the stairs leading down to it. They heard screaming and realized that it was coming from below them. Upon looking down, Mike and Eric saw Emmett and Edward trapped underneath a huge pile of wooden planks. At that point, Alice had pulled me into a chair next to her so she could wrap her arms around me protectively as I covered my mouth with my hands to stifle the sobs that were threatening to escape.

My entire body was shaking with grief, but I needed for the boys to continue with their retelling, desperate to know how Edward and Emmett had fallen into this awful predicament. I nodded my head, looking at Mike, a silent signal for them to proceed. So they did. Emmett was crying out in pain, screaming that he felt like something was stabbing him from the side. The side of his head was bleeding and he was unable to move underneath the wood that was covering him. Emmett had been semi-conscious the whole time during their rescue.

Edward, on the other hand, had been unresponsive. His helmet was not on him when they found him, making the guys deduce that it must have fallen off upon impact of hitting the floor, or during the fall. He was bleeding out the side of his head as well, and he wasn't moving.

Apparently, it took almost an hour to free Emmett and Edward from their wooden confines, everyone being extremely careful handling them in case they had any spinal injuries. Emmett had a large shard of wood jammed into his lower back off to the right. He ended up having to get one of his kidneys removed because it was punctured from the wood that pierced his side. The kidney was irreparable, so it was best to remove it. Emmett also had a shattered hip that needed repairing and three broken ribs. He also suffered from a concussion, but his CT scan and MRI didn't show any damage to his skull or brain.

Edward was a different story. Eric had said that he was still in surgery, but for exactly what, he didn't know. No one had come out to give a status check. They only knew that Edward had been taken from the ER for immediate tests and then emergency surgery. Alice and I were scared to death, so we just held each other tightly while Jasper tended to Rosalie. Mike and Eric told us to sit tight and wait until Edward was out of surgery and that hopefully they could tell us something by then.

That was over three hours ago, and I was about to go crazy. I wanted so badly to know what had happened to Edward. I wanted him to be okay. I _needed_ him to be okay because without Edward in my life, I wasn't sure if I could even function properly anymore. That was when it struck me like a bolt of lightning. I wasn't falling in love with Edward…I was already there. I loved him, mind, body, and soul and I needed him with me always. I wasn't whole without him, and for every minute he was still in surgery, a piece of me was being chipped away to nothing. Edward completed me, and without him, I just wasn't right. I shot up, letting go of Alice, my epiphany making my movements somewhat jittery.

"What? What is it?" Alice questioned, clearly startled by my movement, her eyes wide with wonder.

"I love him, Alice. I don't ever want to be without Edward. Ever. I am completely head over heels in love with Edward."

Alice gripped my hand in hers and flashed me a warm smile. "Oh sweetie, I know you do. And I think it's pretty safe to say that he's in love with you as well."

"Really? Do you really think so, Alice?" I asked, hopeful that my best friend's words could be true.

"Of course, silly. I see the way you two look at one another. It's the same look Japer and I give each other. You and Edward were meant to be together."

"Do you know that earlier this week, Edward joked about doing a roommate swap?" I gathered from Alice's shocked expression that would be a _no_. I nodded my head, "Yup. I was just as surprised. I mean he may have been only saying it in jest, but most of the time there is some truth behind what's said in a joking manner, right?"

"Bella, honey, it's not most of the time. There is truth in _everything_ that is meant to be a joke. He may have been gauging your reaction," Alice said, wiggling her eyebrows. I giggled, like a real belly giggle. It felt good to laugh a little, given the circumstances. I almost felt normal…almost. She gave me a comforting hug, and then got up to stretch. We had been sitting for a while now. She yawned while extending her arms over her head. "Okay, I'm in desperate need of some coffee. You want some?"

I sighed, "Yeah that would be great. In fact, I'd like to go with you." I turned to my Rose and Jasper. "Hey, Jas, Rosalie? You guys want some coffee? Alice and I are going to take a run to the cafeteria."

"Yes, please. Milk and one Sweet and Low, Bells," Rosalie said, wiping the sleep from her eyes. She had been resting against Jasper's chest for a while.

"Coffee is just what I need. Alice knows how I like it," Jasper chimed in, taking his opportunity to stand and stretch since Rosalie was no longer strapping him to his chair.

Once I paid for our coffees, I met Alice outside in the hallway. She snapped her cell phone shut, a small smile on her face. "So, Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme should be here by noon tomorrow. It's the earliest they could arrive. They are going to rent a car so no one needs to get them."

"That's great. I wish that we were seeing them on better terms, though," I said as we began to make our way back to the waiting area.

"Me, too," Alice stated, sadness oozing from her voice. Esme and Carlisle were going to visit Alice and Edward for Christmas in two weeks. They were both so excited for their visit. In fact, we were supposed to get our Christmas trees and decorate them together this week. My heart clenched at the thought that we probably wouldn't be able to do that now.

When we reached the waiting area, Jasper was sitting reading a magazine. "Where's Rosalie?" I asked, handing him his coffee and setting down Rose's on the table next to him.

"Eric came down to tell her that she could go sit with Emmett. He was waking up and asked to see her," Jasper said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Oh, thank god he woke up. That's great news," I smiled, hoping that we would hear some good news on Edward shortly.

Just then, Mike walked in with a doctor, pointing in Alice's direction. He nodded and walked toward us, taking off his surgeon cap in the process.

I clutched my hand to Alice's while Jasper came over and put his arm around her shoulders. Mike came over to my side to offer support. We were a little family unit trying to brave the storm together, bracing for the impact it would most likely have.

"Are you Edward Cullen's cousin?"

"Yes, sir. I'm Alice Cullen. Is…is Edward alright?" Alice spoke timidly, her hand squeezing mine.

"I'm Dr. Demitri, the neurosurgeon assigned to your cousin's case." He looked at us, his face giving nothing away, but there was a seriousness to it.

"A neurosurgeon?" Jasper asked. "As in head and brain injuries?"

"Yes, sir," Dr. Demitri responded. He looked in Alice's direction and focused his attention on her. "Edward was brought in with multiple wounds. The most serious being his head trauma. Edward has what's called Traumatic Brain Injury. From what I was debriefed on by his coworkers, Edward didn't have his helmet on when he landed on the ground. He had an open laceration right below his hairline above his temple, which needed fifty stitches to mend it. The MRI and CT scans that were done on Edward indicated that he had some brain swelling, and a small blood clot formed resulting from the trauma. I had to go in to get to the clot and reduce the swelling by getting rid of extraneous fluid surrounding his brain. The surgery went well and the clot was removed. Now, we have to wait to see how much, if any, oxygen was lost to the brain. Time is a gift now. It will allow healing and rest. His body is in need of as much rest as possible after such a traumatic incident. He will be monitored by machines that will watch his brain activity until he wakes up on his own."

"Wakes up? How long do you think it will be before he wakes up?" Alice questioned. Her hand was killing mine, making it numb. Good. I needed to feel numb because I didn't want to feel anything anyway. Hearing what happened to Edward and the surgery he needed on his brain, was too much for me to process. I loved him and wished so badly that he didn't have to go through this at all. I wished there was something I could do. I hated feeling so helpless.

"We had to put Edward in a coma using sedatives. It's better to monitor his progress that way. Plus, with the other surgeries he's had, it's best to let his body heal this way. These types of medically induced comas usually last around five to seven days on any given patient. Given the severity of his condition, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't last the full seven days," the doctor responded.

I hate doctor's demeanors. They are always so cold, impersonal, like they don't give a shit. I know that they are basically trained to not get personally involved, but does this man need to look like he's pissed about missing a round of golf? I wanted to punch that look off his face.

"You said there were other injuries. Can you tell them what they are?" I asked, a little forcefully, but I didn't care.

"Surely. Edward had a broken collar bone that needed repairing. He now has a metal plate and six screws holding the bones together. The bones were a half inch apart, so a plate was needed. He had a torn rotator cuff that needed mending, as well. His wrist was also broken in two places, and he has three broken ribs. His ankle is badly sprained, as well. Those stairs that he fell from must have been really steep, and he must have fallen from toward the top of them in order to sustain the injuries he did. You cousin is very lucky, ma'am."

"When can we see him?" I piped up again, desperately wanting to see my Edward for myself, to see him in flesh and kiss his wounds away.

"He's in the ICU. Why don't you come up in about fifteen minutes and go to the nurse's station. I'll inform them that you three are coming." Dr. Demitri gave us a small smile then turned and walked away.

"Jesus, I can't believe this! I just wish we could have been there sooner. We were at the other end of the building. We had no clue the floor dropped," Mike chastised himself, shaking his head. "Two of our brothers are up there fighting to get healthy, while some of us were treated for something small like smoke inhalation or nothing at all."

"Hey. Don't say that, Mike. This isn't anyone's fault. This is part of your job and it comes with the territory. That's why your job is extremely heroic. Please don't blame yourself. I don't think Emmett or Edward would want you to do that," I consoled Mike, wrapping my arm around my waist. They were truly a brotherhood, and regardless of their differences, they are always looking out for one another.

I saw the proof of just how strong a unit these men were when we reached the floor that housed the ICU where Emmett and Edward were. All the guys from the firehouse were there, including the ones that looked as though they had recently gotten out of bed and weren't even on duty. Tears sprang to my eyes at the love, compassion, and solidarity these big, strong men showed for their fellow firefighters. They looked so hopeless when they turned to look in my and Alice's direction. The guys nodded and could barely muster up a half smile. It was then I realized that what I was about to walk into wasn't going to be pretty.

Seth and Eric came toward us, immediately enveloping Alice and me in a comforting hug. I let out a sob on Seth's shoulder, while I felt Alice shaking against me. We stepped back and I turned to Alice. "Are you ready to go in?"

Just then, a nurse was coming out of a room. She looked us over and started to speak. "Only two at a time can come in. You can't stay long, only five minutes," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Alice, honey," Jasper whispered, "why don't you and Bella go in. I'll be able to visit with Edward and Emmett tomorrow."

"Okay," Alice sniffled. "Thank you. I love you so much, you know that?" Alice wrapped her arms around the love of her life and kissed his cheek. She turned to me, "Come on, Bells." Alice took my hand and we approached Edward's door like we were walking to our death. In truth, that's what it felt like. I was never so relieved to have my best friend here with me.

Alice turned the knob and we walked in, closing the door softly behind us. The first thing that accosted us was the beeping sound of a monitor. It was a soft, slow, and steady beep. The whooshing sound is what made us finally look up. That's when my heart broke and my knees almost gave way that I instantly gripped onto Alice for support. She was doing the same to me. We took careful steps forward toward the bed, as if we were connected at the hip, never letting go of one another, and not uttering a word. The closer we got to the bed, the more Edward came into view and the more of a reality this was.

There in front of us Edward, laid so peacefully. The only light on in the room was the one above his bed, casting a beacon of light, putting this man on display. Edward was hooked up to a ventilator, and even though I had assumed he would be on one because he was in a coma, it didn't make the shock of seeing him so helpless like this, not even breathing on his own, any better. His left hand and wrist were covered in a hard cast

"Oh, his poor head," Alice cried softly, as we observed that Edward's head was wrapped up in white gauze, with just a tuft of brown-bronze peeking through up top. We let go of one another and went on either side of him, sliding a chair over so we could sit.

"I…I'm pretty sure that you really should talk to coma patients so they could hear your voice. I don't think it's just done in the movies," Alice stammered. She placed her hand gently over his, rubbing over his fingers with hers. "Edward, it's Alice. I hope you can hear me. You're going to be fine, you know?" When she stopped talking she glanced at me, and I know her face mirrored my own as a couple of tears escaped and spilled down our faces. I nodded for her to continue. She cleared her throat. "Your mom and dad are coming tomorrow, so you have to wake up real soon, okay? You're supposed to help us pick out our Christmas tree. You love this time of year, so please wake up soon. I'm going to go now, but I'll be back tomorrow with Jasper. He hopes you get better, too. Bella's here and I think she wants to talk to you. Love you, cuz," Alice finished and lifted Edward's hand and kissed it.

Alice got up as though she was going to leave. "No. Stay, Alice. I really want you here with me." I needed her support, and I didn't want her to go. I wanted her to hear my declaration of love to her cousin. I didn't feel the need to hide it.

I linked my fingers with his as best I could, considering most of his hand was covered in the cast. Even in a coma, Edward could still make my skin tingle. I hoped with all my might that he felt it, too. He was always amazed at how our bodies seemed to connect on some metaphysical level where we were so attuned to one another. I wiped my eyes with my other hand before I spoke. "Hey, babe," I began in a whisper. "You're so brave, you know that?" I chuckled softly at what his reaction to what I just said would be. "I know that if you could, you would be rolling your eyes at me right now. It's true, and you even have a plaque hanging in a Chicago firehouse to prove that. I'm so proud of you, and I admire you so much. Please come back to me, Edward. I can't wait to be curled up in your arms again. I love you. I do. I am so in love with you, Edward Cullen, so you better wake up soon so I can say that when you are aware. I've loved you for a while, and I'm not afraid to be the one to say it first. Life is just too damn short to be bothered with that. So, wake up and allow me to look you in those beautiful green eyes of yours and tell you how amazing you are and how much I love you." I got up and leaned over him to kiss his forehead and then his eyes. I kissed the bandage that covered the stitches and I brushed my lips against the bandages on his shoulder and collar bone, hoping to ease some of the pain, hoping that he could feel me wanting to heal him. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, praying that Edward was going to get better and wake up soon.

I gave Alice a small smile and we walked out of Edward's room.

***~*~***

The next six days went by in a blur. Unfortunately, I couldn't visit with Edward all day because I had to work. Christmas break was about to begin next week, and I couldn't take time off before a long break. I would be off for two weeks, and I planned to never leave his side. Alice had her boutique's manager take over all operations until after Christmas so she could be with Edward and spend time with her aunt and uncle. Carlisle and Esme ended up coming the afternoon after Emmett and Edward's accident. They were clearly distraught over Edward being in a coma, but Carlisle's optimistic attitude had inspired Esme, and they quickly turned their thoughts to the positive.

Jasper and I fell into a routine where we would ride to work together and then at dismissal, he would drive us over to the hospital. I couldn't bear to be away from Edward, afraid he would wake up when I wasn't there to witness it, but I had my cell phone with me at all times in case Alice would call me with any new updates. Emmett was taken out of ICU a couple of days ago and put in a regular room. Rosalie had hardly left Emmett, save for one day where she packed a bag with some of her clothes and necessary toiletries, opting to stay and shower in his room. He was as boisterous as ever, wanting to leave the hospital as soon as he was allowed to stand up and walk around a little. Hearing Emmett's account of what actually happened was heartbreaking and scary, like something straight out of a movie. Every once in a while, when a random conversation came to a lull, Emmett would simply shake his head, furrow his brows and say, "If only I said something a little bit sooner. We would have gotten up the stairs in time." Immediately we hushed him for thinking that way. He clearly blamed himself for Edward being in a coma, not even caring about himself. Emmett was always a softy like that. He comes across as this big, strong, authoritative figure, which he is, but what most people don't get to see is the sincere, tender side that would do anything for the people he loves. He truly was our comforting teddy bear.

Emmett was allowed to take short little walks in the hallway with Rosalie, as per his nurse's orders. He wanted to visit with Edward, so we helped him into a wheelchair and got permission to take him up to his room. Once we entered, it was like a mini Christmas wonderland. There were colorful lights draped around the windows and there was a very small Christmas tree on the bedside table, with little blinky lights and tiny ornaments adorning it. The _get well_ cards that my students had made for him were taped up to the walls. The place looked so festive, all we could do was smile. I walked over and enveloped Esme in a firm hug.

"His room looks beautiful, Esme," I beamed, looking around once again.

"Thank you, dear. Edward's favorite time of year is Christmas. He was always so fascinated looking at the decorative lights. They were always his favorite part of the season."

Carlisle laughed from the reclining chair in the corner of the room. He had taken up residence there a few days ago, opting to complete crossword puzzles, waiting patiently for his son to come out of his slumber. "Edward would love it whenever we walked around our neighborhood while he pointed out his favorite light displays. They were always the ones with the crazy blinking lights, and the light up Santa ones. I'm talking about the houses that were distastefully decorated and the house was covered in these lights."

We all laughed a little, the sound seeming so foreign, considering we hadn't been able to truly let go and be happy until Edward woke up. We were all ticking little time bombs treading gracefully around one another, afraid if one snaps then another would, creating some sad little domino effect.

Esme walked over and kissed her son's forehead lovingly. "Right, Edward, you love the lights? What about always fighting with me about putting up colored lights instead of the white lights I always preferred. Come on, my son, open your eyes so you can see which lights I chose to decorate your room. Are they white or are they colored? Aren't you a little curious?" She was holding his good hand and all of a sudden she gasped.

"Holy shit! He…he just moved his fingers!" She screamed. "Oh my, I'm sorry for my language, but…Holy Shit! He moved them again! Carlisle get the doctor!" Carlisle was up and out of the room in a flash.

"Edward, darling, can you hear me?" Esme continued. "It's time to wake up now. Everyone is here to see you, including your Bella. Come here, honey," she beckoned me over and I willingly eased to her side and lightly grasped Edward's fingers.

"Hey, babe," I whispered brushing my lips against his temple. "I'm here, and I can't wait to see those gorgeous green eyes again. You need to see how your mom decorated your room. It's beautiful, Edward. Just like you." I leaned down to kiss his ear lightly, whispering, "I love you."

"Oh my God! He did it again! He moved his whole hand this time. I think he heard you, Bella. Thank the Lord he's responding," Esme choked out, holding in the sob she desperately wanted to let out.

"Come on, dude. Wake up so I can see your ugly ass," Emmett laughed. "I want to have a wheelchair race with you. These things are pretty cool." We all chuckled and rolled our eyes. It was good to get back to normal a bit, especially with Edward beginning to show signs of coming out of his coma.

Everything that happened after that happened in the blink of an eye. Edward squeezed Esme's hand and his eyes shot open, as if they were going to come right out of his socket. He started to choke on the tube that was lodged down his throat. He looked like he was convulsing. I backed away, starting to cry and sob into my hands. Rose came over to put her arms around my shoulders, comforting me. It was scary to see Edward like this, frightened and in pain. Carlisle whooshed in with two nurses, who ran over to Edward to stop the ventilator, while the other started to pull the white tape from his face, taking the tube out his mouth slowly. When the tube was removed, Edward's back arched off the bed and he gasped for air. He plopped back down and began to take quick breaths, as though he had just run a marathon. He was blinking wildly, glancing around the room. He was disoriented and none of us wanted to bombard him. We were waiting for him to speak.

One of the nurses poured a glass of water from the pitcher and held it to Edward's mouth. "Your throat is going to be really raw and scratchy now. So, before you speak, do you think you can try to take a sip of this water? Nod once if you can understand me."

Edward nodded once in understanding.

"Good. Here you go," the nurse said soothingly, while Edward took a tentative sip. He winced in pain when he swallowed. He took another sip. "Okay, Edward. We're going to lift your bed a little more so you can sit up better."

Edward nodded his approval as the top half of the bed began to lift a little making Edward sit upright. He was still appraising the room and its inhabitants.

"Mom? What are you doing here? What happened?" Edward's angelic voice finally flitted through the air. It was so groggy and scratchy sounding. I let out a stifled cry, as Esme full out sobbed. Rose sniffled and brushed a few tears from his face. "Why are you all crying?"

"Oh honey, we're just so relieved that you are okay and awake. You're awake!" Esme sang to her son.

"Why wouldn't I be awake? You," he pointed in Emmett's direction, "Can you tell me what happened?"

"We fell through a staircase fighting a mother of a fire, man. We were together. I got injured, too," Emmett answered, wheeling closer to him.

"Jesus. Is everyone else okay? How are Pete and Garrett? You've got to tell me what happened to them," Edward looked horrified that his friends could possibly be injured as well.

"Edward, Sweetheart," Esme began gently, "Pete and Garrett are in Chicago. You're in Seattle, and this is Emmett, the Captain of your fire company."

Edward looked around the room again then focused his attention back on Emmett. "Oh, hey. Emmett, that's right. You're Alice's friend, right? You helped me get this job, right?"

"That's right, man. You do remember me, don't you? Do you remember being in the fire?"

"No… not at all. My head feels kind of fuzzy, so I'm not sure. Uh, wait…yeah, I know you. Um, I live with you, right?" His face was scrunched up, confused of his surroundings.

Emmett smiled, "You are correct, sir. Don't worry, Edward, things will come back to you. You have a great support system here. We'll answer any questions that you have, buddy."

I was waiting for Edward to call me over because God knows I wanted to rush into his arms and comfort him and tell him he was going to be okay. However, I didn't want to push him, so I waited for him and stood with Rosalie by the door.

Edward raised his arm to examine his cast, but because he didn't know he had a broken collar bone and a busted shoulder, his arm didn't get very far up before Edward yelped in pain, dropping his arm to his side.

"Motherfucker! Jesus, that hurts!" He tentatively raised his good hand and felt the gauze around the head. He scanned the room again, looking at no one in particular. "Can somebody please tell me what the hell happened to my body? I feel like a mummy with all this shit on me."

"Edward, dear…language," Esme lightly scolded, walking over to him and taking his hand in hers.

"Sorry, Mom. I'm just so confused and I hate this feeling. Hey, where's Alice?"

"I think she's down in the cafeteria getting some coffee with Jasper. They'll be ecstatic that you are awake," Esme answered. She looked towards me, trying to hide the look of sympathy in her eyes. She glanced between Edward and me, trying to relay some message to me it seemed. "Bella, do you know where Alice is?" she asked me, probably doing that on purpose so Edward would notice me.

"I thought I heard her saying she needed to make a phone call to her store, then wanting to grab a cup of coffee," I stated softly, finding my voice again. Rose squeezed my hand in support. I glanced in Edward's direction, our eyes finally making a connection. I flashed a small smile at him.

"You," he said softly, a warm smile gracing his lips.

"Hi," I responded, letting go of Rosalie's hand, finding my balance again. I started to slowly move toward him. I was so nervous; I kept fumbling with my hands in front of me. I could tell that all eyes were on our reunion. It was so bittersweet, I could taste it and I couldn't wait to give him a kiss. I wanted to wrap my arms around him protectively and just feel his presence. I desperately wanted to tell him that I loved him. I stopped at the foot of his bed, wanting to give him some space. Given the look in his face, it was best that I did that for the time being. Edward's smile fell a little, his brows furrowed. I wanted to know so badly what he was thinking. I cocked my head to the side a bit, and gave him another smile.

"I thought I wouldn't get the chance to talk to you again," Edward spoke up.

"Really? Why is that?" I answered sweetly.

"Well, because I was a major dick to you the other day. I purposely told you that I couldn't show your class around because I was pissed I wasn't able to go on fire calls yet." He turned toward Emmett, "Yeah, sorry about that. I know you do these field trips, and she just showed up unexpectedly."

"It's alright, man. I know you didn't mean anything by it," Emmett answered, making eye contact with me as if trying to convey, _what the fuck is going on? _I had no idea, but I was definitely thinking the same thing. Edward was terribly confused and jumbling events together. I was hoping when the doctor came into the room, he would explain what happening.

Edward started to talk to me again. "And you, Bella right? You're Alice's good friend? I planned on apologizing to you about my rude behavior. I'm sorry. When I get out of here, I can make it up to you and your class. Would that be alright?"

My heart sank, my chest constricted. I felt all hot and dizzy, like I was going to pass out any second. Tears flooded my eyes, causing everything in my sight to blur. That's exactly how I felt. I was one big fucking blur, spinning out of control, ready to just lose it. My face was flushed and I felt heated and sticky, like I was under blinding stage lights. I knew everyone was observing me. On the outside, I was merely standing still in shock with tears springing onto my face, but on the inside, I was screaming my head off, ripping my insides to shreds. I had never wanted to run from a room so badly. My boyfriend, one of my best friends, the man that I was in love with, _my_ Edward had no fucking clue who I was. Consider me lifeless.

"Um…y-yes, that would be alright," I choked out, barely able to speak because I was holding back my gut wrenching sob. I was continually wiping the tears from my eyes, which was fruitless, considering they just kept on pouring out of my eyes.

"Edward, honey. That's all you have to say to Bella?" Carlisle jumped in, giving me a sympathetic look.

"Well, she lives with Alice, doesn't she? I'm sure I'll get to know her a little better so I could make up for being a jerk to her. Why is she crying?" He looked up at me, a concerned look on his face. "Are you alright, Bella?"

"Edward, you know Bella very well. In fact, she's your girlfriend. You've been with her for a few months now," Esme chimed in, trying to help the cause. I felt a body sidle up to me. I turned a bit to see Rosalie give me a sad little smile. I wanted to curl up in her neck and disappear completely. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. This shit only happens in the movies, right?

"Girlfriend! No, I'm sorry, but I'm already seeing somebody else." Edward faced me, his features stony and stern. "No offense, you are a knockout and anyone would be so lucky to have you, but I already have a girlfriend."

I didn't know what to say, and we all stood and darted our eyes back and forth to one another, wondering what in the hell Edward was talking about.

"Speaking of girlfriends, Mom, where's Tanya?"

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	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks to Sweet Dulcinea for beta'ing this chapter solo while keepingupwiththekids fixes her computer problems. We feel your pain, Julie- come back to us soon!**

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***BPOV***

"He has post-traumatic amnesia. That's why he's having trouble remembering certain…events," Alice said tentatively, a frown adorning her face. I knew she was trying not to hurt my feelings. This was hard for all of us to grasp. She pulled up a chair from across the room and brought it over to the couch where Rosalie, Jasper, and I were seated.

Were my feelings hurt? Yes, of course they were, but it wasn't Edward's fault that he couldn't remember specific parts of his life or the people in them, like me being his girlfriend, for one. My knees buckled a little when Edward asked where Tanya was. I felt like I was shot in the chest, knocking the life out of me. The room and everyone in it blurred in my vision, nearly spinning around me. Overcome by the nauseous sensation, I knew that I had to get the fuck out of his room before I passed out and upset Edward further. He was already asking why I was crying and I didn't want him to start inquiring about my sanity. I was, after all, in an extremely fragile state, ready to combust at a moment's notice. Rose was still by my side as she took hold of my hand and guided me out of the room. She whisked us down the hallway to a waiting area and ushered me to take a seat on the couch. Wrapping her arms around me protectively, I placed my head on her shoulder and began to quietly sob, my body quivering every time I sucked in a breath just to let the sob claw its way out of my chest. I covered my face with my hands, squeezing my eyes shut, as if to will what was happening away so everything could return to normal.

Who was I kidding? Absolutely nothing was normal, and I feared it never would be again.

Rose would occasionally murmur to me that everything was going to turn out okay and that Edward was just confused right now. She allowed me to cry until my tears ran dry. I needed to let it all out because I knew I shouldn't really act like this in front of Edward if I wanted him to remember me. The last thing I ever wanted to do was scare him off and for him to pull away from me. So, I let the tears escape my eyes in a downpour, allowing myself the opportunity to release my anguish. I wasn't only crying for myself. I was also crying for Edward because he would have to hear about what happened to Tanya and relive that horrible tragedy all over again, no doubt ripping to shreds the progress he had made in finally letting go and forgiving himself for her death. All those strides lost because of the injuries he sustained while doing what he loves the most…fighting fires. Sometimes, it's the things you love the most that can hurt you the deepest…and Edward was about to be devastated. Just thinking about it had me shaking my head back and forth so much that I couldn't stop. Jasper had to pry me from Rosalie to get me to still my movements. I felt the couch dip in one direction as Jasper took his place beside me, turning me to face him. I could barely open my eyes, the fluorescent lights too harsh and intrusive on my retinas. I knew my eyes were probably red and puffy.

Jasper reached for a tissue from the box that was on the side table and began to gently wipe my eyes. Rosalie rubbed my back soothingly as the three of us sat there in utter silence, no doubt reflecting on what had occurred. Every now and then, I sucked in consecutive breaths, causing my body to quake as I tried to calm myself down. It was when I was gracefully blowing my nose, making sounds like a foghorn, that Alice had entered the room. Head down, she stood before us with her hands nestled deep in the pockets of her jeans. We all waited silently as she updated us on Edward's condition.

_Post-traumatic amnesia. _I felt like I was on an episode of _Grey's Anatomy_. It was quite fitting, seeing as Jasper was my _George_ and Rosalie was like my _Christina _at the moment.

"Did the doctor say if he would ever recover any memories he lost?" Jasper asked Alice, breaking me from my thoughts. I was beginning to zone out and lose myself.

"Well, Dr. Demetri mentioned that this type of amnesia was not uncommon for the trauma sustained to his head. That's why Edward is confused and having difficulty recalling specific events that occurred before the fire. The doc said that he may never even remember fighting that fire or falling through the stairs. He also said that any major events that transpired even a few years before his injury would be hard to recall, which is why he thought he was still with Tanya," Alice explained, her eyes darting over in my direction nervously. "Not all his memories are lost, though. He did remember you, Bella. He just doesn't recall being in a relationship with you," Alice said regretfully, taking my hand in hers. I mustered up a tight lipped smile. I knew this was killing Alice as much as it was destroying me. She and Edward were more brother and sister than mere cousins. They shared such a deep bond beyond DNA and although I was sure that she was relieved that Edward remembered her, Alice also felt my pain as if she were living through it as well. That's how much she loved the fact that Edward and I were together. Who wouldn't want their best friend with someone who was like a brother to her?

"Did the doctor mention if or when he would regain his full memory?" Rosalie asked with concern laced in her voice.

"Well, he said that only time would tell and that each patient was different. Edward is healing remarkably, according to Dr. Demetri. He did say that talking to Edward and answering all his questions honestly would help, as would showing him pictures and talking to him about people and specific events. He said it was good to immerse Edward in anything that would help him jog his memory." Alice paused a moment, bowing her head down before speaking again. "Which is why we told him everything about Tanya," she said in barely a whisper. When she looked at us, her eyes were already glassed over in tears.

"Aw, come here, darlin'," Jasper cooed, bringing Alice over to sit on his lap, enveloping her in a comforting hug. She sighed as she sank into his chest. I felt my insides clench at their embrace as I thought of if Edward and I would be able to be like that again. I quickly shook off that thought because there was something more important weighing on my mind.

"How did Edward take the news?" I asked, finding my voice again.

Alice closed her eyes briefly before speaking. "I'm not going to lie to you. He was extremely upset and heartbroken. I had to stand there and watch my cousin go through the pain of discovering he lost the woman he loved all over again, and it was the saddest experience, but thankfully not as bad as the first time. He cried a little, but he was nowhere near like he was over a year ago. Aunt Esme broke the news to him, and Carlisle filled in any gaps that my aunt left out, including the emails he was sending to her account for the past year. He even told Edward about how you flew to Chicago to help him heal and finally put his guilt to rest. I then explained how the two of you got off on the wrong foot, so to speak, and how you guys finally got your acts together and made it official. In fact, he actually chucked a little when I told him the story about Halloween and how he tore you away from Mike by throwing you over his shoulder." She gave me a warm smile, making me relax a little.

"Really?" I hedged, holding on to that glimmer of hope that he might remember me sooner rather than later.

"Yup. He said that it was something he would totally do for a girl that he was extremely interested in and jealous that she was with someone else."

I couldn't help but smile a little as I thought back to that night where Edward went all caveman on me, took me outside, and practically demanded that he take me out on a date. God, I hoped that he could remember that moment because it was when he decided he wasn't going to fight his attraction to me anymore.

Alice continued, "The more we spoke about Tanya, the more he vaguely recalled that he knew she was gone. So, you see, Bella? He just needs some time and for us to give him as much information as possible to help him. You know, Edward would like to see you."

"He does? I mean…wh-what to I even say to him, Alice?" I stammered, completely in shock that he actually wanted to see me. "I wouldn't even know where to begin. I'm at a loss here."

"I think you should go to him right now to see what he wants, Bells, instead of trying to guess why," Rosalie advised. "Come on," she started, getting up and outstretching a hand toward me. "I'll walk you to his room, and then I am going to be with Emmett."

"Good luck, Bella. We'll wait out here until you're done. No rush, okay?" Jasper gave me an encouraging nod as I stood, taking Rose's hand in mine.

"Keep in mind that hopefully this memory loss is temporary. Stay strong and know that you can get me from Emmett's room if you want to talk," Rosalie whispered in my ear when we reached the door to Edward's room.

"Thanks, Rose. I may just take you up on that." She smiled and walked away, leaving me nervous and fidgeting with my hands. I decided it was now or never and turned the knob to his door, knocking softly.

"Um…hello?" I said nervously, peeking my head in, but not making eye contact with anyone.

"Bella! Come on in, Sweetie," Esme rose to meet me by the door. "I think it's a wonderful sign that he wants to see you. Have faith that my son will remember what a wonderful person you are and how special you are to him," she said in a hushed voice, ushering me through the door. "Come on, Carlisle. Put those crosswords down and buy me a coffee." She beckoned her husband to her and gave me a little nudge forward. Carlisle rose from his chair in the corner and came over to me, giving me a kiss on the top of my head. He took Esme's hand in his and they walked out of the room, closing the door behind them.

I jumped a little at the sound of the door clicking closed, coming to the realization that I was alone with Edward. I looked up to find him staring at me, his head cocked to the side as though he were studying me. He was still so gorgeous, even bruised and covered in bandages. I had to fight the ridiculous urge to lunge myself at him and curl up with him on his bed.

"Hi. Um, Alice said you wanted to see me?" I lifted my hand to give him a tiny wave.

"Yeah," he breathed, sounding so tired. "Thanks for coming. Would you like to sit down?" Edward asked, a little too formally for my liking. He pointed to the seat next to his bed that Esme had occupied moments ago.

I sat at the edge of the chair, folding my hand on my lap. I was so tempted to touch his face or lace his fingers with mine that I had to keep them in control. I looked up to find Edward watching me intently. His sparkling green eyes met mine, and I was transfixed, convinced that _my_ Edward was in there somewhere. I stared back with the same intensity, my insides turning to mush, evoking such feelings of longing that I couldn't break the hold he had over me. He looked so tired and so sad that my heart broke all over again.

"I wanted to thank you," he said, turning to me, his eyes glazed with a twinge of red in them. "I remembered what happened to Tanya after everything was explained to me. My father told me that you were there when I said my final goodbye at the cemetery. I'm seeing flashes of being there and feeling someone's presence around me; I gather that was you. I'm sorry that I don't remember that you were with me," he explained forlornly. His face looked so sad, that I could tell he was conflicted and confused. Even though his face mirrored exactly how I was feeling, it didn't make it any easier observing his demeanor. Curving his lips into a frown, he sighed, shaking his head, "I did see myself falling off my bed in my old room and laughing looking at somebody. Was that you? I took you to my home in Chicago?"

I nodded. "Yes, you did. I was on your bed with you when Alice knocked on the door. We were…you know," I said softly, bowing my head in shyness. "Alice interrupted us."

"Oh…_oh_!" Edward's eyes went wide. "So we were, um, having…uh…in a compromising position?" Edward stammered, clearly flustered…embarrassed maybe? He looked down as if to inspect the cast on his wrist in order to look anywhere but in my direction.

"Um, no we weren't doing _that._ We were just messing around a little. I didn't want to at first because we hadn't brushed our teeth yet, but you didn't care. So, when you…touched me, I, uh, willingly gave in," I explained to the floor. I couldn't bear to look at Edward's face while talking about almost having sex with him. I could tell I was blushing profusely because my neck and face were overcome with a wave of heat.

"Have we ever…you know…do we…have we…" Edward trailed off, waving his casted hand between us, obviously not able to fully ask if we have had sex.

Looking up, I answered his question. "Yes," I started softly, "we are…I mean, _were_ intimate with one another." When we had been together, it was so perfect, so natural, but now it felt awkward to discuss it when he couldn't remember those times that were so special to me. That reality crushed me, which was a horrid combination with my embarrassment.

A crooked smirk spread on his beautiful face. He was having fun embarrassing the shit out of me. I smiled inwardly, knowing that is was something _my _Edward would do just to watch me squirm. For some reason, the smile from him, that simple interaction between us, gave me hope that things would be okay…eventually.

"You're blushing. I like it. It's cute," Edward stated, pointing at my face. "You're really pretty."

"Thank you. You're not so bad looking yourself," I smiled, hoping our little playful banter would spark _something_ in his memory about us.

Edward's face changed suddenly, as his brows furrowed. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you about us."

_Oh no_. My stomach immediately twisted, making me want to puke. The hairs at the nape of my neck began to prickle as moist heat started to form at my brow. Tears started to sting my eyes, and I immediately cursed them, willing them away so I wouldn't upset Edward. I tried to look him in the eyes, but was only able to stare at his shoulder.

"Hey," he started in a soft voice, "I'm not going to say anything bad. At least, I don't think it's bad. Everyone from my mother to Jasper is trying to get me to remember that we are a couple…a very happy couple at that. It's not that I doubt them or anything, but I feel all this pressure to recall our connection and relationship, and it's just not coming to me as quickly as they hoped, or that I've hoped," he paused, checking my face to gauge my reaction. I wanted to flash him a toothy grin because he actually wanted to remember me, but I held my emotions in, not wanting to scare him or pressure him in any way. Instead, I glanced at him briefly, nodding my head slightly for him to continue. If I moved my head too much, the tears would definitely spill over, and so far, I was doing a good job at reining them in. My emotions were definitely all over the damn place and I doubt anyone would blame me.

"Look, the last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings, but I think I need a little space for me to process everything. I just feel so helpless right now, and I hate that I am hurting you. The doctor says that the swelling in my brain has gone and that he expects for me to have a full recovery, except that I may never remember the fire or getting injured. He said that I should start remembering the events I've lost anywhere between two weeks to a few months. So, I am confident that I will remember you, but I just hate feeling so fucking pressured, you know? I can't have any expectations placed on me in regards to our relationship. I'm not breaking up with you by any means, but I feel like I'm suffocating and I don't want to start resenting what we apparently have, and I certainly don't want to take my frustrations out on you because I really do want to remember our relationship, Bella. Please believe me when I say that. I can tell that you are an amazing, caring person, not to mention gorgeous, so I know that I'm a lucky guy."

I sighed and shook my head, closing my eyes briefly. "The last thing I would want for you is to feel pressured in any way, especially if it's pertaining to me. If you need some time and space, I'll give it to you." I tried to swallow but my mouth had gone dry. I was saying the words that I know he needed to hear, and that I had to say in order to do the right thing for him, but as I was saying them they felt like poison on my tongue. "I can't imagine what this must feel like, and I will support you in any way, Edward. I'm not going anywhere, so I can be patient and hang back a little if that's what you need from me." I looked away, unable to meet his gaze. It would kill me, but I would stay away from him if that was what Edward wanted.

"You're upset…I've hurt you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that," Edward spoke, guilt laced in his voice.

"Edward, I'm fine," I lied, forcing a small placating smile so he would believe what I was saying. "Please don't worry about me. The most important thing is that you heal and get better and focus on yourself.

"Your mom and dad will be staying until after Christmas, so enjoy this time together with them. I know you don't know this, but we were all supposed to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together. Alice, Rosalie, and I were going to cook for everyone, but if you would rather spend the holiday with just your parents, we'll understand," I finished. I had to stop talking before I choked on the huge lump that was forming in my throat.

"Bella, please look at me," he sighed, and I raised my head to meet his stare. "Just because I said I needed some space doesn't mean that I don't want to see you. Of course I want to spend the holidays with everyone, including you."

I cleared my throat before speaking again. "Okay, well, if that's what you want then we won't change anything." I looked up at the clock hanging on the wall, noticing that it was very late and I needed to get up early in the morning. I didn't want to leave, but I had to respect Edward's wishes and not smother him.

"I'd better get going. I have to work tomorrow, and you need to rest." I regretfully stood up and headed toward the door. I stopped and turned to look at Edward when he called my name.

"I should be moved from the ICU tomorrow into a regular room. Maybe you can stop by," he shrugged, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, sure…maybe," was all I could muster up as a response. I wanted to let go and cry so badly, but I had to keep it together for just a little while longer.

"Goodnight, Edward," I whispered.

"Goodnight, Bella," Edward responded quietly.

Once the door closed, the tears fell silently down my face as I ran toward the waiting area to get Alice and Jasper so we could go home. I informed them of what Edward said, and from my emotional state, they knew better than to pry for more information. I was silent the whole drive home, opting to stare out into night.

That night was the last time I would visit Edward in the hospital.

***~*~*~*~***

Edward ended up being moved into Emmett's hospital room, according to Alice. She had tried to get me to come with her to visit the guys, but I always had a lame excuse available as to why I couldn't go. For the past couple days, it had been that I was staying late at work to complete report cards. It was the last full week of school before the holiday break, and the kids were getting their report cards on the twenty-third. I really did have to finish them, but my excuse was pretty flimsy, considering I could have used my laptop at home instead of my classroom computer. Alice saw right through me, but she didn't give me any problems. She knew I was devastated by what Edward said about needing space, so she didn't give me shit for not going to visit her cousin. She knew I wanted to see Edward, but also realized that I had planned on staying away to respect Edward's wishes.

Besides, it wasn't as though Edward was asking about me and wondering why I never came back to see him. Alice would have said otherwise, right? If Edward had been asking where I was, then I would have come right away, but the fact that no one said anything to the contrary led me to believe that he was serious in not wanting to feel pressured into being in a relationship with me.

I cried myself to sleep every night as I clutched onto one of Edward's firehouse t-shirts. His smell was all over it, accosting my senses, playing mind tricks on me, and making it seem as though he was right here in my bed with me. I missed the feel of Edward's body pressed against mine. My bed felt so cold, so lonely, and I wished that he would get his full memory back. I knew it as wishful thinking, but it didn't stop me from dreaming about it, either.

By Thursday, Emmett and Edward were released from the hospital around mid-morning. I couldn't go even if I was asked to because of work. I had called Alice on my lunch break to get a status report on Edward though. She told me both guys were resting in their beds. Emmett opted to stay at his place instead of Rose's so he could help out with Edward, even though he was recovering from surgery as well.

I made plans with Alice, Rose, and Esme to get some Christmas shopping done in the evening. Alice also informed me of the impromptu tree trimming party she and Esme decided to throw at the guys' apartment. When I asked if that was such a good idea, she said that the boys wanted the place to look festive for the holidays. It was supposed to be a small gathering of us, Edward's parents, and some of the guys from the fire company who didn't have a shift to work.

I didn't give a definite answer as to whether I was going to make an appearance or not at the party. It wasn't until we were home from shopping that Alice decided to hound me about it.

"You're avoiding."

"I'm not avoiding," I huffed, plopping my bags down in the living room and taking a seat on the couch.

"Come on, Bella. You have to be around him. He won't be like this forever," Alice said, sitting next to me.

"Don't even start with me, Alice, because if this was Jasper, you would be singing a totally different tune. He wants his space to figure everything out, and I am not about to ruin our relationship by sticking my face in front of him every chance I get. I love him, Alice; a fact that he knows nothing about. This is killing me, but I know this isn't about _me_. I go through about ten emotions daily, ranging from anger, to hurt, to confusion, to guilt."

"Why on earth would you feel guilty, Bells? This isn't your fault."

"I know that, but I can't help feeling guilty for having selfish feelings. I want Edward to really remember what we shared, and I want that because I love him and can't be without him. See, I'm selfish, so then I feel guilty for not just wishing him a speedy recovery having nothing to do with me. Then I get angry with myself and angry at Edward for wanting space, which crushed me beyond belief, by the way, because all I want to do is touch him, kiss him, and never let him go. I shouldn't get angry at him, so the guilt kicks in yet again. It's a fucking vicious cycle and I'm tired, Alice. I'm just so goddamn tired," I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face.

"Oh, Bella. I'm so sorry, honey. I want you two back to the way you were so badly that I didn't think about how this is affecting you. I know you are staying away from Edward out of respect, but won't you please consider going to the party tomorrow night? The other guys will be there, so you'll have plenty of buffers, you know?"

"Okay, I'll go, but only after I get our tree, okay? I need some holiday cheer up in our place."

Alice hugged me tightly and suggested that we get our tree that evening, so we trekked out into the cold and walked three blocks to get our Christmas tree. When we returned home, we were exhausted, but Alice is like the little _Energizer_ bunny, so she wanted to decorate it that night. As I dug out our decorations from the hall closet, Alice had gone upstairs to gather Jasper and anyone else who wanted to help decorate our tree. Obviously, I was hoping for Edward to come down, but I knew that was wishful thinking, so I wasn't going to hold my breath. It would lessen the blow to my heart that I no doubt would be receiving when he wasn't going to come through my front door.

Growing impatient waiting on Alice's return, I decided to start wrapping the tree up with lights. I grabbed our little step ladder and climbed up so I could reach the top of the tree. Alice and I usually did this together because we had small arms and were unable to wrap the lights around the tree ourselves, but I needed a tricky task to keep my mind off _him_. It wasn't until I reached the middle of the tree that I had some problems with the lights. I was practically hugging the tree trying to pass the lights from one hand to the other when I heard the door open and close.

"Ugh, thank god you're here, Pixie. I'm lucky I am wearing a crappy shirt. I'm about tit deep in sap from this tree. We've grown pretty fond of one another," I laughed. The sound was so foreign to me, but damn, it felt fucking good to just laugh.

I felt a hand grab my waist lightly, searing my insides. I'd know that touch anywhere.

Edward was here.

I turned my head, looking over my shoulder to see Edward smirking, wearing a sling to hold his arm in place. I saw that his wrist cast had been changed from cream to black. He looked so tough, and I couldn't help the arousal that coursed through my body just then. _I couldn't help it._ I remembered Edward and what he could do to pleasure and satisfy me. I swallowed those thoughts deep inside because it would only hurt more to think that way when he couldn't recall doing those things to me. He had surely heard what I said about tits and sap, and I wondered what he thought of my playful comment. A few weeks ago, it probably would have turned into more playful banter; now it just felt tense.

"Hey," I said tentatively, not knowing if he was really in a good mood or not.

"Hey. Oh, sorry," he said, letting go of my waist, and I inwardly whimpered, wanting to demand he touch me again. "I guess my hand had a mind of its own," he smiled. "What are you doing?"

"Um, exactly what it looks like. I'm putting on the lights; waiting for Alice."

"She's coming down soon. She mentioned that you might want some help, so I came right down."

"Oh, she said that, did she? Well, you didn't have to come. I can wait for Alice," I said, looking away.

"I wanted to come, Bella. I haven't seen you in a while and you never came back to the hospital. Why?" Edward asked.

"Oh, well…I've been busy with work and doing report cards, so…" I trailed off, looking away, and not wishing to get into it, I was suddenly very interested in my tree. He wanted this, so why question my absence? See, this is where the whole feeling ten different emotions comes to play. He _wanted_ me stay away for a while, but yet he seemed a tad disappointed in me not visiting. Now, the confusion part set in.

I turned to take a peek at his beautiful face and I noticed that he didn't have his head bandage on, allowing me to become reacquainted with his haphazard sex hair. I ached to run my hands through it and tug on it the way he liked, but I knew I couldn't do that. My stomach dropped to my feet at that thought. His cut on the side of his head by his hairline was not covered in gauze either and I found my free hand moving against my will toward it. Edward sucked in a breath as I brushed my fingertips gently over the bits of tape that were holding the stitches in place, making it look like a little white zipper.

"Does it hurt?" I whispered, staring at his cut.

"Not really. Your touch feels nice," he spoke softly, closing his eyes. He opened them as soon as I tore my hand away.

"I…I'm sorry," I stumbled, feeling stupid. I knew I shouldn't have touched his face, but it was too tempting.

"Don't be. It was…nice," he responded, his voice having a bit of something in it…sympathy maybe? Could I be so bold in assuming that he couldn't resist touching me just now? Maybe he was thinking how natural it was to want to feel me, like my instincts told me to do the same thing to him. Could we be reconnecting on some level and taking a small step in the right direction? _God, I hoped so. _

We were glued to our spots, drinking each other in. The air charged around us was swirling with tension as Edward's head slowly inched toward mine. I was standing slightly higher on the step stool, so I began to lower my head like a magnet drawn to his. If only we could share a kiss, maybe that would spark something…anything.

"Hey Bella Boo Boo, we're here to help you!" Emmett's voiced boomed, breaking the spell between me and Edward. He backed away as if he were just electrocuted. I quickly let go of the lights and jumped off the stool to greet Emmett while Edward limped to the couch.

"Emmett! What are you doing here? You should be off your feet with that hip of yours. Rosalie is going to kill you when she sees you down here!" I chided, concerned for my friend. I had to stifle a laugh as I took in his cane. He noticed where my eyes were and cackled like only Emmett could.

"Ah, you likey, Miss Bella? Some of the fellas at the fire house chipped in and got this for me. Isn't she a beauty?" he asked, holding up a black cane with huge rhinestone claw as the handle.

"It's…fitting…and…very…pimpish," I breathed in between a fit of laughter, causing everyone, including Edward to join in. God, who knew a fucking laugh would sound so refreshing and uplifting.

"Hey! Don't knock the cane. It's all pimp, 'cause that's how I roll, bitches!" Emmett bellowed, wagging his eyebrows and twirling the cane in the air and catching it. "Now let's get this tree decorated so I can go back to my bed and play some _Wii_."

Two hours later, our apartment was transformed into a winter wonderland. Streams of white lights adorned the entryway arch and the living room windows. The tree was decorated with colored lights, which delighted Edward to no end, and a combination of my and Alice's favorite childhood ornaments, as well as ones we had purchased together. Rosalie ended up bringing over a couple pizzas and some beer, in which we all partook. Though it was extremely hard to do, I sat away from Edward, making sure I was scrunched between the others so I wouldn't be tempted to sit on his lap. It was an action I would have automatically done had he not had his head trauma. I caught him looking at me as though in wonder, like a shiny new toy or something. He would cock his head and stare, almost like he wasn't trying to hide it, and for the life of me, I wished I knew what he was thinking. Sometimes I would flash a shy smile, looking at him from under my lashes, and other times, I would simply look away, not being able to handle his penetrating stare.

Rose and Emmett left shortly after we finished. She wasn't too happy finding him out of his bed, but she did admit it was good for Emmett to walk around and move a bit. Jasper helped me clean up as I was so ready for bed, while Alice took Edward into her bedroom. I had no clue why. I bid Jasper a goodnight and shuffled my aching feet down the hall, but stopped when I heard Alice pleading with Edward over something. Her door was slightly ajar, and I could make out their moving figures. Edward seemed to be pacing and Alice was following suit. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop on their conversation, but when had I ever opted to walk away where Edward was concerned?

So I leaned against the opposite wall and listened.

"But, Edward, that's what you told me you were going to do weeks ago and that you needed my help."

"Yes, you've told me that several times now, Alice, but I still don't fucking remember. I'm obviously not going to go through with it now. That would be ridiculous!" _Geez, he sounded so…pissed? Irritated?_

"Please don't say that. This is Bella we're talking about, and she would love it," Alice said, sadness dripping from her voice.

I should have known they were talking about me by the way Edward's voice sounded. _Fuck!_ The last thing I wanted to do was to make him angry. When would this nightmare end? I should have gone into my bedroom and closed the door, but being the glutton for punishment that I was, I decided to stay slinked against the hall like some secret agent.

"Alice, I can't fucking remember our goddamn relationship! How the hell do you expect for me to give her such a personal gift like that? And for Christmas, no less! I wasn't planning on giving her anything. How could I? I don't even know what the fuck she likes and I wouldn't anyway given our current situation. How fucked up would that be?"

_Ouch_. I couldn't deny that his words hurt…badly. My traitor tears were coming out of hiding, pricking my eyes.

I closed my eyes as they continued their conversation, bracing myself for the venom Edward would no doubt spew.

"You have to get her something, Edward. You're her boyfriend. It'll crush her and she's already having a rough time as it is. She has put up with so much, and has tried to be strong for her own boyfriend and to not recognize your relationship is like a slap in the face. Bella doesn't deserve that, Edward," she pleaded through her own tears.

"Yeah, well, I didn't deserve to get knocked on my head to the point where I can't remember important shit, like her being with me! I'm sorry, really I am, and I feel guilty, but look at what I'm going through. You think I don't want to remember her or hold her? Fuck, I almost kissed her on my own tonight, but Emmett had to go and barge in with that awful cane of his and ruin it. Look, maybe when I get better and actually recall having Bella as a girlfriend, I can get you to help me out with that gift I was supposedly going to get. But for now, no gifts, Alice. I mean it!"

"I know she got you some stuff," Alice hedged softly.

"Christ, then tell her to not give them to me! I don't want them. Not like this."

"I can't tell her that. This is going to break her. Please don't be like this. She's been through enough."

"Listen, if she's been through _enough _and she is going to be crushed like you've been saying, then maybe I shouldn't be with her right now, Alice. It may be for the best. I should just talk to her now and tell her not to wait for me because who knows when I'll fully recover, and the last thing I want is to be reminded constantly by you and everyone else that I keep hurting Bella!"

Broken. I was utterly broken, and I couldn't bear the pain anymore. I wrapped my arms around myself and folded over, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself. All I had to do was walk a few steps into my room and shut the door to drown out their voices, but I couldn't do it. Just as a small whimper escaped me, two things happened simultaneously- someone opened the door to Alice's room and Jasper ran down the hall calling my name. I looked up to find Jasper, Alice, and Edward gaping at me in horror. Jasper looked concerned because he saw me doubled over in pain, Alice couldn't stop opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water, and Edward…well, the color in his face drained, his eyes wide, as he concluded that I had just heard his entire exchange with Alice.

I wiped the tears that were falling on my cheeks and turned to Jasper, giving him the weakest smile.

"I'm fine. I just felt…sick. That's all. Nothing a little sleep can't cure," I choked out, barely due to my throat closing from the sob that was trapped there itching to get out.

Mustering up the last shred of courage I had left within myself, I met Edward's shocked face. "I wasn't expecting anything from you. I got your message loud and clear."

My attention then went to my best friend who mirrored the same sullen expression as me, tears streaming down her face. "Thank you for trying," I whispered, "but please don't press him anymore. He's going through so much right now. I don't want him to resent me even more than he has. Please, for me, Alice. No more. I love you, but I can't take it anymore. Just please leave him be. For me, okay?" I cried, not caring that Edward was witness to my breakdown.

Alice merely nodded as she gave me the warmest hug. When we parted, she wiped my eyes with her thumbs. I didn't look back as I closed and locked the door to my room. I purposely rattled the knob and locked it so they knew not to disturb me. I stripped to my underwear, grabbed my iPod, and crawled under my covers. Placing the head phones in my ears, I scrolled through my songs finding the one I had been playing every day since the fire. I buried my face in one of my pillows to drown out the screaming sobs that were uncontrollably escaping me. When I thought I was done, I pressed the play button as the tearful, heartbreaking song blared through my entire body. It was a song that explained in detail exactly how I was feeling. More sobs shook through me as I drowned in the songs words, allowing them to pull me under. I wanted to disappear.

_**I miss those green eyes**_

_**How you kiss me at night**_

_**I miss the way we sleep**_

_**~*~**_

_**Like there's no sunrise**_

_**Like the taste of your smile**_

_**I miss the way we breathe**_

_**~*~**_

_**But I never told you what I should have said**_

_**No, I never told you**_

_**I just held it in**_

**_~*~_**

_**And now,**_

_**I miss everything about you**_

_**Can't believe that I still want you**_

_**After all the things we've been through**_

_**I miss everything about you**_

_**Without you**_

_**~*~**_

_**I see your green eyes**_

_**Every time I close mine**_

_**You make it hard to see**_

_**Where I belong to **_

_**When I'm not around you**_

_**It's like I'm alone with me**_

_**~*~**_

_**But I never told you what I should have said**_

_**No, I never told you**_

_**I just held it in**_

_**~*~**_

_**And now,**_

_**I miss everything about you**_

_**Can't believe that I still want you**_

_**After all the things we've been through**_

_**I miss everything about you**_

_**Without you**_

That was the first night since Edward's accident that I didn't go to sleep with his shirt.

* * *

**~*~ Song that Bella was listening to: **_**I Never Told You**_** by, Colby Caillat ~*~**

**I strongly suggest you go and listen to that song now, because I heard it today and I knew I had to add that at the end of the chapter. Oh, and I changed _Blue_ eyes to _Green_ eyes for obvious reasons ;)**

***Okay, so we are officially going into hiding. We have brought some reinforcements in the form of dirty martinis to drown our sorrows in. Believe us when we say that we are just as heartbroken and frustrated as Bella and Edward, if not more. Not going to lie to you, this was a very tough one to write.**

***Please trust us, okay? Don't make this the chapter that you decide to stop reading our story. Edward's POV is up next and you don't want to miss what's been going on in his poor injured head…do you?**

***So, please review and tell us what you think. We have our armor on and are prepared for the attack some of you will give us. We respect what you have to say, but please be kind. ****Trust us!**

**XOXO~ Holly and Pauline**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I know we have left you guys with some evil cliffys in the past few chapters…and how awful did we feel knowing that so many of you shed tears in the last chapter…my tush is still sore from the pitch fork someone poked me with when the mob descended upon Holly and I…LOL! We are trying to make this realistic so sometimes you can't wrap it all up in a couple of chapters but we hope this chapter at least gives you some more insight into what Edward is going through, and what he is thinking. **

**Thank you so much to our beta Sweet Dulcinea. As always, your magic touch helped this chapter come together and look so much prettier than it did when I first sent it to you!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight. I just had the wonderful opportunity to meet and have lunch with Snowqueens Icedragon who writes one of my favorite fics, **_**Master**__** of the Universe**_**, this past Saturday. She was lovely and I totally fan-girled inside.**

**Now let's get to it, shall we? **

* * *

**Chapter 20**

**EPOV**

Alice, Jasper and I stood motionless in the hallway outside of Alice and Bella's bedroom. Bella had just shut her door, and we could hear the lock turn. It was like we were all frozen, none of us moving. No one knew what to do or say. It didn't take long before the sobs came from the other side of Bella's door, and I knew I had to get out of there. My head still throbbed from my injuries, and everything that had happened tonight made it so much worse. The intense emotions of the last few minutes had my world spinning around me. It was all just too much, and I couldn't take any more at the moment. I turned and slowly limped across the apartment. Alice didn't even try to stop me. She let me go.

I wanted nothing more than to just run up the stairs and burn off some of the confusion and anxiety I was feeling, but my stupid body was too broken to do much more than to walk lamely to the elevator.

When I got upstairs, I was happy to find the place empty. My parents had stayed with me for a few days before I told them to go and rest at a hotel. They would be much more comfortable there than on the couch bed in our living room. Emmett must have gone to stay at his girlfriend's place…or was she his fiancée? I couldn't remember.

_I couldn't remember_. There it was. The big fat elephant in every room I walked into. I sat down on the couch and gently cradled my head in my hands because it really did fucking hurt.

Do you know how difficult it is to be missing parts of your memory and in turn have to base your actions and decisions on what other people tell you about your own life? Everyone in the hospital kept telling me how close Bella and I were, what a great couple we were, how we were inseparable. I used all that knowledge to explain to Bella that although I needed a little space to allow my brain to heal without the constant pressure of everyone wanting me to remember everything right away, I also didn't want to break up. I just needed her to be patient. She seemed understanding, so I thought we were good. Imagine my surprise when she never came back to the hospital after that. How could we have been as close as everyone was saying when she could just walk away and close me out so quickly?

I wasn't saying that this hadn't been hard on her; I knew it was. It was killing me to see how hurt she was. I was just having a hard time putting the pieces of the puzzle together when nothing seemed to fit.

Even though I was confused at her total avoidance of me, I went right down to her apartment tonight when Alice told me they were going to be putting up their tree. When I walked in, I saw her standing on a stool, trying to wrap the lights around the tree. I couldn't help but smirk when I heard her make a comment about sap and her tits. I could definitely see why I was dating her. Not only was she beautiful, but she was funny too.

She thought I was Alice, so I opened my mouth to correct her, but as if I had no control over my actions…as if on instinct…I walked to her and placed my good hand on her waist. As soon as I touched her she jolted a bit. _Did she know it was me just by my touch?_ I couldn't say that the second I touched her all my memories came back, because this is real life and the world doesn't work like a Hollywood movie, but I did _feel _something. There was definitely a familiarity of my hand on her body.

The moment I removed my hand from her, I felt what I could only explain as loss. My body knew my brain was bruised, but something else seemed to be taking over. I was feeling things being so close to her that I couldn't explain. My skin prickled as if some type of electricity was radiating from her skin to mine. It was almost like when you hold two strong magnets near each other and let them go, watching them snap together as if there is nowhere else in the world they belonged but together.

I suddenly had a strong desire to kiss her. From the look in her eyes, I knew she wanted me to. So, I started to lean in to her, and she reciprocated. Our lips were just inches apart, eagerly awaiting their reunion when Emmett came in. We were both startled, and she stepped off the stool immediately to greet Emmett. The moment had passed, and it felt like all the energy that was working between us had been sucked right back out of the room. I had been feeling so empty since waking up in the hospital due to the loss of memories but now I was feeling actual lose. When everyone was around me all at once it was hard to place my feelings for each individual person. Being alone in the room with Bella, before Emmett came in, allowed me to hone in on something between her and I. If only I could get a clear picture in my head, to match what I was feeling inside, it would help me get closer to figuring all this out.

We spent the remainder of the night polite and courteous, but it was obvious to me that she was keeping her distance. I kept staring at her, trying to jog any memory I could by studying her face. I wanted to touch her again because that seemed to be the closest I had come to feeling any type of connection, but she stayed away from me…and that was really frustrating. I had asked her for an inch…she was giving me a mile. I wanted to understand why she was being so standoffish and distant. Was it because she was determined to give me as much space as possible, or was she re-evaluating whether or not she wanted to be with me even if my memory did return? Maybe we had been having problems in our relationship before the accident that no one else was aware of. I just didn't know. By the end of the evening I was starting to feel sore, achy and just plain drained. You had no idea how much it takes out of you trying to battle your brain to work correctly.

I was going to leave when Alice said she needed to speak with me in her room. When we got in there, she started to ask me about Christmas. I told her that I had already spoken to Bella in the hospital and that I still wanted to spend the holidays with everyone as originally planned. This pleased Alice, and I thought we were done until she brought up Bella's Christmas gift. I honestly hadn't even thought about that. I had too many other things going on in my head to consider gifts. I told her that, under the circumstances, I didn't think anyone would really expect me to be giving gifts this year. Alice pushed on, telling me that I had asked her to help me with Bella's gift. When she explained to me what it was, I immediately told her I didn't think it would be appropriate to give it to her at this time. The gift was quite symbolic of different memories of our relationship. How could I give it to her, with any real meaning behind it, when I couldn't remember any of those memories myself?

I knew Alice meant well, but her continuous badgering of the subject caused me to snap. I was so fucking tired of having everyone on my case about every goddamn thing. I had been stuck in a hospital, and now I was stuck home. I couldn't go to work because of my physical and mental injuries. On top of all that, I had everyone on my back making me feel like it was my choice to not remember shit about my life, as if I had the power to push some kind of fucking button to make it all come back.

I hated to feel this way, but I was also sick of everyone worrying so much about how Bella was feeling and how Bella was coping… What the fuck about me? I wasn't doing all this to hurt her. I had been injured. I wasn't acting this way just to be a prick. She was the one who was avoiding me like the plague.

I felt horrible that Bella had overheard my conversation with Alice. I didn't want to hurt her…honestly I didn't, but everything I did or said seemed to cut her deeply anyway. I snapped and told Alice that perhaps it would be better if we weren't a couple right now. In reality, it wasn't as though being _together_ was really making her much happier anyway.

I was broken out of my thoughts when I heard the door to my apartment open. I looked up and saw Jasper walk in, cautiously gauging my mood.

"Hey," I mumbled to him, giving him a half-assed attempt at a smile.

"Hey, man," he replied back as he sat in the chair beside the couch.

"Look…," I started to say before Jasper cut me off.

"Edward, let me talk first. Okay?"

I nodded at him to continue.

"I just had a long talk with Alice. I plan on having a talk with Bella tomorrow as well. I know this situation is hard on everyone, but I have been watching everyone overwhelm you since the day you woke up in the hospital. Of course I love Bella like a sister and I don't want her hurting, but I also know that none of this is your fault. Everyone needs to just back off, give you space, and let your body heal in its own time. It is really starting to piss me off that everyone is acting like you are being malicious when in reality it's that you don't remember."

He paused for a moment allowing everything to sink in for me before he started to talk again.

"I'm not gonna lie; seeing Bella be put through this is breaking my heart. I saw her through the end of her last relationship, and it nearly broke her. When you came into her life, I saw her blossom again, even more so than before. I think the reason why this kills us all so much is because we knew you were the one. You weren't just another step on the ladder, so to speak. You were the final destination. Your relationship was still on the new side, but I knew it was only a matter of time before you two admitted _it_ to each other."

"It?" I said questioningly.

"That you were in love with each other," he stated matter-of-factly.

"In love?" I said. The words falling out of my mouth in disbelief. I knew from what everyone had said that we were really close and had a pretty solid relationship, but I had no idea that it was love.

"Well, from what Alice tells me, neither of you had said it to each other yet, although it was pretty obvious to all of us that you were."

I dropped my head into my hands, immediately flinching at the pain, but I couldn't bother to care. I felt awful inside. I felt badly for Bella and all the pain this was causing her, and I felt badly for myself for having something as important as memories of her ripped from my mind.

I heard Jasper stand and place his hand on my shoulder. He gave a little squeeze and walked toward his room. I was starting to feel a lot of pain in my ribs, wrist and foot, so I got up off the couch carefully and made my way into my room. I took one of my pain pills and stripped out of my clothes. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

* * *

The following day, I really wasn't feeling well. I was overdoing it. I knew I should have been in bed more, but I was antsy and trying to get around like I wasn't injured. When my mother came over to help Alice set up for our tree trimming party that night, she took one look at me and made me stay in bed. I would normally have fought her on it, but in all honesty, I was exhausted mentally and physically and just needed to be alone. The pain medication that I was taking as prescribed made me drowsy, so I slept for most of the day.

At around six o'clock, my father came in and woke me. He told me that people were going to be arriving in about an hour, so I should start getting ready. He helped me into the bathroom, and even helped me take a shower. We had put a little stool in the shower so I could sit because it was hard for me to stand for too long. I also had a lot of trouble washing my hair and such with a broken rotator cuff, wrist and ribs. I suppose if things were different, Bella could have helped me shower instead of my father, but I had to take what help I could get. I highly doubted it would be appropriate for me to ask her for that kind of help right now.

Once I was dressed, I walked out into the living room. The tree was already up in its stand, but it was undecorated. I guess that was the whole point of a tree trimming party. There were lights hung all over the place and green and red candles all around the room. My mother was arranging trays of food, and Alice was putting out plates and cups while Jasper popped the cork on several bottles of wine. Emmett and Rosalie were in the corner sorting through all the ornaments, and my father was messing around with the radio. Everything seemed to be taken care of, but it didn't go unnoticed that there was someone missing. As Alice walked by me to put something down on the food table, I grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Where's Bella?" I asked.

She let out a little breath and looked up at me with sad eyes. "She's not coming."

"What? Why? Is it because of me? Listen, if it is because of me, I will stay in my room so she can come and be comfortable. She shouldn't have to miss being here."

Alice brought her little hand up and cupped my cheek. "Its okay, Edward. She had a faculty holiday party that she went to."

"What? But I thought you told me that she and Jasper work together. If there is a faculty party tonight, then why is Jasper here and she isn't?"

Alice turned around and noticed that everyone was looking at us. She dropped her hand from my cheek and grabbed my good hand, gently leading me down the hallway toward my room. When we were just outside my door, and in a slightly more private location, she turned and looked at me.

"Jasper and Bella have a faculty holiday party every year, but normally they don't go because it always falls on the night of the tree trimming party we have here. Bella decided today that it would be better for her…and for you…if she didn't come tonight. Jasper and I had a long talk with her this morning, and Jasper told us that he had spoken to you last night. She isn't trying to avoid you, but she just thinks that tonight she needs a little space herself. A little breathing room, if you will."

I closed my eyes and brought my hand up to pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Edward, don't stress yourself out about this. She was okay with this decision. She left tonight feeling completely at peace with her choice. She wants you to relax and enjoy yourself tonight. She will still be coming to spend Christmas with all of us, so don't worry about that; just give her some time. She will come around. I know you are frustrated, Edward. None of us can even imagine what you are going through, and I think we all lost sight of that. I owe you an apology for that."

She stepped into me and wrapped her arms carefully around my waist, giving me a gentle hug because of my ribs. I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed her back. When she pulled back from our embrace, she had tears in her eyes.

"Alice, don't cry," I said to her.

"I'm just so sorry that this has happened to you. I was always scared for your safety when you decided to go into firefighting, but it was always something that gave you such pride. I almost lost you, Edward, and that scared the shit out of me."

She carefully wrapped herself back around me.

I brought one hand up to her hair and tried to comfort her. "Shhh…it's okay, don't cry."

I felt her inhale deeply and she took a step back and wiped her eyes. "I know everything is going to be okay between the two of you. I just think that you were so whole and complete with each other that neither of you know how to do this half way. That is why you are both hurting each other. You just don't know how to do this half-assed. I told her not to give up on you, and I'm asking you the same for her. Just like we told her she needs to be patient with you, I'm telling you that you need to be patient with her. You just have to, Edward. She lov…." She started to say something but stopped.

"You mean the world to her," she said.

I looked at Alice for a moment and then nodded to her. I might not remember everything, but the one thing I did remember was that Alice was never wrong. I could always trust to believe in what she said.

We heard a knock at the door.

"Guests are arriving," she said to me. She took my hand and helped me walk back toward the living room.

~*~

Bella ended up stopping by the tree trimming party on her way home from her faculty party. It was the end of the evening, and people were starting to leave, but she wanted to say hello and to see the tree.

I was sitting in the kitchen at the table talking to some of the guys that were still there. I saw Bella walk in with Rosalie to get a glass of wine. She gave me a small smile as she passed, and I returned the gesture. The entire time she was behind me by the counter I was aware of her presence. It was the weirdest thing, but I could physically feel her there. I heard them start to make their way back out of the kitchen, and as she passed me, I felt her put her hand on my shoulder and give me a gentle squeeze. When she touched me I felt a sense of relief, mixed with guilt. I knew I had hurt her with my words yesterday, yet here she was…still giving me gestures of comfort. Letting me know in a silent, simple way that she was trying to understand and be there for me, never letting her presence fall too far away even if she had a hard time being around me physically. She left her hand there until she was far enough that it slipped away. She didn't turn back around to look at me, though. She simply followed Rosalie out into the living room.

I got up about twenty minutes later and walked out into the living room. I was surprised to find that Bella had already left. I felt bad that I hadn't helped set up, so I clumsily started to walk around the room picking up cups and plates. My mother and Alice came over to me, taking the stuff out of my hands, and told me they would take care of it. My mother helped me to my room, and once I was settled in bed I fell into a dreamless sleep. Not even my unconscious mind allowed me the peace of remembering something…anything.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by quickly. Christmas Eve was on a Thursday, so everyone who was working had a short work week. Emmett and Rosalie were going to be spending Christmas Eve with her family. Jasper's parents drove out for the day from Forks to meet my parents, who were basically Alice's parents since my aunt and uncle had passed away. We all went out to dinner together. I asked Alice to invite Bella because I imagined that if my accident hadn't occurred, and we weren't going through all this right now, she would have been coming with me. I didn't want to ruin any more of her Christmas plans, and I certainly didn't want her spending Christmas Eve alone because she felt uncomfortable being around me, but Alice told me that Bella was going to drive home to visit her father for the night and would be back tomorrow to spend Christmas with all of us.

The night went well. Jasper's parents were really great people. I could see how Jasper had turned out to be such a good guy. I was genuinely happy knowing my cousin had found someone who would take care of her and love her the way she deserved. Alice had experienced her own loss in life. Her parents died in a car accident when she was just an infant. She always says that at least she didn't have to remember losing them, but it broke her heart that she never got to know them. So as much as I bitched and complained about her, I also understood that she was one of the strongest people I knew, and I would give my life for her in a heartbeat.

After dinner, Alice brought Japer's parents up to her apartment where they would be spending the night. We all joined them there for a while, having coffee and dessert. I excused myself to use the bathroom. When I was done, I walked out and was about to head back toward the living room when I found myself staring at Bella's bedroom door, which was slightly open. I didn't want to invade her privacy, but I was desperate for something to jar my memory and perhaps having a quick look around would bring something back to me. I slowly walked toward her door and pushed it open completely. I reached to the wall beside the door and flipped on the light switch.

I stood in the doorway and looked around the entire room before I managed to step inside. It had a familiar air to it, but I couldn't determine if it was because I remembered being in here or if it was because our apartments were pretty much identical. With the exception of us having an additional third bedroom, Bella's bedroom was where Jasper's would be in our apartment, so that could have been why it looked familiar.

I walked in slowly, making my way around the perimeter of her room. As I passed her open closet, I let my hands skim across all her neatly hung clothes. I grabbed a hold of the sleeve of one of her shirts and brought it to my nose. I inhaled the scent deeply and something inside of me warmed. It gave me a sense of calm and comfort that I couldn't explain. I dropped it after a moment and continued my path around the room. On her dresser I saw a jewelry box and some pictures of who I could only assume were her parents. As I got toward her desk, I saw her laptop sitting there turned off.

After I felt that I had intruded in her space enough, I turned back toward the door so I could rejoin everyone in the living room. As I was walking across her room toward the door, I noticed something on her bed out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and saw what appeared to be a picture frame leaning up against her pillow. It had a bow on it and a little note propped up against it.

I walked over to take a closer look. I picked the little note up and read it.

_Dear Bella,_

_I wasn't sure if I should give this to you or not, but being that I am a strong believer in miracles, and it is Christmas, I figured that it was appropriate. You didn't know that I took this picture, but it is from Chicago. After you guys left the ice rink, Jasper and I took a walk behind you and Edward. When we found you guys, and caught this moment, we knew it was something you would want to enjoy forever in a picture. I love you and I know that everything is going to be okay._

_Merry Christmas,  
Alice_

I pulled the paper away from the front of the frame and looked at the picture. It was a picture of Bella and I kissing in what looked like Millennium Park. I stared at the picture closely and I noticed that it must have been snowing. All of a sudden, I had a clear vision of being somewhere with her with snow coming down. Was this a real memory I was having or was I just wishing the picture to life?

I felt an arm wrap around my waist and it startled me slightly. When I looked down to my side, I saw Alice standing there.

"Are you remembering anything?" she asked softly.

"I…I'm not sure," I answered honestly, shaking my head.

She squeezed me gently. "Hey…that's better than a solid 'no'," she said to me enthusiastically.

I smiled at her slightly. "Yes, I suppose it is." I tried to be cautious in my reaction, not wanting to give her false hope.

I placed the picture and note back in their original positions. I draped my arm over Alice's shoulder and walked us both back toward the living room.

* * *

The next day was a hustle of activity. Jasper's parents left to go and spend Christmas Day with Jasper's brother and his wife. Emmett and Rosalie arrived at the same time my parents did. My mother was helping with dinner so she, Alice and Rosalie were in the kitchen for most of the morning. Emmett, Jasper, my father and I were all sitting around watching one of my all time favorite holiday movies…_A Christmas Story_. Every year it runs for twenty-four hours on the cable channel, _TBS_.

At about one o'clock there was a light knock at the door before it opened and Bella's head poked in.

"Merry Christmas, everyone," she said softly to the room as she walked in carrying two big bags filled with gifts.

My father and Jasper popped up quickly to go over and give her hugs and help her with her bags. Emmett and I were still slow on our feet, but we both stood up with a bit of a struggle. Emmett wobbled over to her and gave her a big hug.

"Merry Christmas, Sleigh Bells," he said to her before wrapping her in a big bear hug.

When he moved away to sit back down, we were left facing each other, and I was unsure of what to do or say.

I saw her take a bit of a deep breath before she stepped toward me hesitantly.

"Merry Christmas, Edward," she said in almost a whisper before leaning in for a light hug.

I inhaled her scent as she was briefly up against me, and I immediately felt that same sense of calm that I had when I smelled her shirt last night.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," I said to her before she pulled back and looked down at her feet.

There was an awkward silence before my mother came out and squealed in delight that Bella had arrived and embraced her in a tight hug. She then dragged her off into the kitchen where the other girls were hanging out and talking.

~*~

The day was going as good as one could hope. Bella and I weren't as talkative as everyone probably was hoping we would be, but we also weren't ignoring each other. We were being polite, and whenever we would find the other staring, we would exchange smiles.

I knew things were going entirely too well, and my luck meant that something would have to happen to ruin it. After dinner was done and everything had been cleaned up, Emmett walked into the living room with his pimp cane in tow and announced that it was "gift time."

I stood up as quickly as I could and cleared my throat. "Everyone, I just wanted to tell you that I am really sorry, but because of everything, I wasn't able to do my Christmas shopping. I hope you will all forgive me for not having anything to exchange, but once I am back on my feet I hope to make it up to you all."

My eyes flashed over in Bella's direction and she gave me a small smile before looking down into her lap, playing with a loose thread on her pants.

"Edward, don't be silly. You have already given all of us the best gift we could hope for," my mother said. "The fact that you pulled through that accident is the only thing I could ever want." She walked over and kissed me on the cheek.

Everyone shook their head in agreement…even Bella. Even though I tried not to stare and make her feel uncomfortable, I couldn't help but survey her expression. I knew that she had to have been scared about my outcome and was genuinely grateful that I was okay.

"Don't worry, Edward," Emmett said, "I'm in the same boat as you. The only person I was able to buy for was Rosie, and that was only because I got it way before the accident."

I saw Alice's eyes shoot over to Bella, who was now looking down at her lap again, and then she looked at me. Her expression seemed to be one of sympathy for Emmett's comment.

Eventually, all the gifts were passed out and everyone started to open their presents. For a while there was no talking, just the sound of paper ripping and crinkling around us. All of a sudden, Rosalie flung herself at Emmett and wrapped her arms around his neck. I couldn't see what he had given her, but they were clearly having a moment in the corner.

Next, I heard Alice squeal, and when we all turned to face her she had tears coming out of her eyes as she stared down at the little velvet box she was holding. She noticed that we were all staring at her so she turned it around to show us. "Diamond earrings," she said with a smile before turning back to Jasper to give him a kiss and hug him tightly.

Quietly, as if not to call attention to herself, Bella stood up. She had her head still pointed down toward the floor, her hair hanging around her face like a veil. She started walking across the room toward the front door.

"Excuse me everyone. I forgot something downstairs," she said through what we could all tell were tears. She quickly slipped out the door and closed it behind her.

The room was silent and everyone slowly looked toward me, but then quickly looked away.

I pushed myself up from my seat, struggling to find my balance, and started walking toward the door. "Excuse me for a moment," I said in a low voice as I made my way out the door and toward the elevator.

I got off on Bella's floor and made my way to her door. I knocked lightly, but there was no answer. I tried the doorknob and found that it was open so I let myself in and called out for her but no one answered. After I looked around and found no one there I walked out and closed the door behind me. I needed to get out of here for a while. I knew I couldn't go very far with my injuries, but I needed some fresh air.

When I got outside of my building I realized that I didn't have a jacket on but I didn't care. The cold air on my skin was a welcome distraction to everything I was dealing with. When I got to the corner of my block, I stopped in front of the big cathedral church that resided there. I could hear the sound of a choir singing and decided to go in and sit for a while.

I was raised Catholic, and my parents used to make me go to church every Sunday when I was little. I had even been an altar boy. I hadn't been to church in a while; the last time had been the day of Tanya's funeral. I guess you could say that after that happened I lost some of my faith, but as I found myself walking up the steps and through the front and saw the rainbow of colors from all the stained glass windows, I began to wonder if maybe I needed to find my faith again.

I walked down the aisle and sat in one of the pews toward the back. There was no mass going on at the moment, but the choir seemed to be rehearsing, and there were random parishioners sitting throughout the church listening.

I sat there thinking about nothing in particular, just trying to clear my head and have some peace for a while. After I had been there for about a half an hour, I noticed someone stand up from a pew toward the front of the church and make their way over to the side. The young woman stopped in front of the rows of candles and lit one. As soon as the glow of the candles illuminated her face, I could see it was Bella.

I watched as she knelt down in front of the candles after lighting hers and silently seemed to pray. Watching her there tightened my chest. What had either of us done to deserve this fate that had been dealt to us? I knew that this was a good woman. Why couldn't I just remember? Why did I have to have an injury that not only broke my bones but also broke her heart?

After a minute or so, she stood up and put something in the donation box before walking up along the side aisle and out the side door. Part of me wanted to get up and run after her…as if running were even possible for me at the moment…but I understood that she had come here for a private moment, just as I had too. It was not something I wanted to intrude on.

As I sat there, I found myself starting to pray. I just wanted to be shown what to do, and since I didn't seem to be able to figure it out on my own, I hoped someone _up there_ would help me out. I finally decided it was time to head back. I was sure my family was starting to worry and I had decided that it was time to face this head on.

When I got to my apartment, I noticed that everyone was still there…well, everyone but Bella. My parents were getting ready to leave and after they gathered all their stuff, and kissed us all goodbye, they headed back to the hotel. Rosalie and Emmett were cuddling in the corner on the floor, and Jasper and Alice were sitting on the couch watching a movie.

"Alice," I said, "where is she?"

She looked up at me with compassion in her eyes and smiled softly. "She's downstairs at our place."

"Thanks, Pix," I told her before walking out and making my way downstairs.

When I got to their door I knocked. I heard a soft "Come in," before I pushed the door open and walked inside. Bella was lying on the couch, covered with a blanket, watching _It's a Wonderful Life_ on the TV. The lights were out, with the exception of the lights on the Christmas tree. When she saw it was me, she sat up. I could tell that even though she wasn't currently crying, she had been. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Her hair was tangled and she looked exhausted.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," she replied.

"Do you mind if I sit down?"

"No…uh…not at all," she said softly as she moved the blanket that had been covering her out of the way.

I sat down next to her and took a moment to consider my words before I turned so I was facing her.

"I saw you at church earlier," I admitted.

Her eyes widened and she looked shocked. "Really? You were there?" she asked.

"Yes. I didn't know you were there until I saw you get up and light a candle."

"Oh."

"I hope you're not upset with me, but I needed to tell you that I went into your room last night after we came back from dinner with Jasper's parents."

She didn't say anything, just looked at me like she wanted me to continue.

"I wanted to see if going in your room would spark some kind of memories for me," I explained, inwardly hoping that she wouldn't be upset that I had invaded her privacy.

"Well…did it?" she asked

"Yes…and no," I answered cautiously.

"What does that mean exactly?"

"It means I can't remember specific memories, but I felt something familiar being surrounded by your stuff and the scent of your clothes."

I noticed her catch her breath, so I continued.

"I saw the picture that Alice gave you for Christmas. Again, I can't remember the exact moment of it, but when I saw that it was snowing when the picture was taken, something seemed oddly familiar about it. The snow was triggering something in my head. It gave me this feeling inside that…made my heart feel at peace. I know that probably sounds corny or weird, but it is the only way that I can put it into words to describe it."

"I don't think it sounds corny or weird at all," she said as she started to chew on her bottom lip.

"Don't," I said to her, and before I knew what I was doing, I slid closer to her on the couch and ran my thumb across her lip so she would stop biting it.

We both froze immediately, staring at each other in surprise…and maybe anticipation as well. I moved my thumb from her lip and ran the back of my fingers along her cheek before I cupped the side of her face in my hand.

"Bella, if it would be okay with you, I just want to try one thing," I said as I moved my face closer to hers.

I stopped inches from her face, waiting for her to give me permission to proceed. She cautiously nodded her head _yes_ and slowly I moved the rest of the way to her before I gently pressed my lips against hers. I didn't push the kiss to be deep or passionate; I just wanted to feel her close in this way.

The only way I could describe what I was feeling when our lips touched was to say that I felt like I was home. I held us together for a few seconds before I pulled back slightly, still cupping her face in my hands.

"Bella," I whispered, "I'm sorry I said I needed space. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just frustrated and I didn't know how else to handle the situation."

I paused for a moment, allowing my thumbs to skim gently back and forth along her cheek bone, before I continued.

"Please don't give up on me. Please have some patience with me. Please allow my head the chance to start remembering what my heart has already started to." I realized that I sounded like I was begging, pleading, with her at this point, but I didn't care. I now knew that I didn't want her to go anywhere. Even if I couldn't remember our relationship yet, something inside told me that I needed this woman in my life and couldn't do anything that would risk letting her go.

I felt her start to tremble and a tear slid down her face.

I ran my thumb across her cheek to wipe the tear away before I leaned in and kissed below the eye where it had fallen. When I pulled back, both her eyes were closed. Nervousness and anticipation coursed through my body as I waited for a reaction, any reaction, from her. After a moment she opened them and looked at me.

"Edward, I'm so sorry I…"

"Shhh, Bella," I said to her, pressing my finger against her lips. "We can only move forward. I know this has been difficult for both of us, but let's just try to be patient, for each other, if not for ourselves. I know that there is something special between us, but if I'm going to remember, it needs to happen naturally, not because of things I'm told. I want to find it again, and I hope you still do, too."

She looked deep into my eyes and nodded her head in agreement.

I dropped my hands from her face to her hands and gave them a gentle squeeze before standing up slowly. She went to get up to help me because she could see I was in pain, but I stopped her. "Don't…I'm okay. I'm due for my medication. I'll be okay once I get upstairs."

She nodded apprehensively, sinking back down into the couch.

I grabbed the blanket that had now fallen to the floor, picking it up and draping it over her before I bent down and kissed her on top of her head. I turned and walked to the door and opened it. I was about to walk out when I stopped and looked back at her. My eyes shot up past her toward the window and I smiled. "Look at that," I told her, nodding my head for her to look out the window, "it's snowing."

She spun her head to look behind her, and after staring for a few seconds she turned around and smiled. "Huh…how do you like that?" she said. "Maybe someday in the future this will become another memory we can share with each other where snow was involved."

I smiled at her and for the first time in a long time, Bella gave me a genuine, happy smile back.

"Merry Christmas, Bella."

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

I walked out, closing the door gently behind me.

* * *

**A/N: So? Are we feeling a little more understanding towards Edward? He is so confused and can only go by what everyone is telling him but it is confusing. Imagine not remembering something out of no fault of your own and then feeling like you are hurting someone who loves you in the process. But have faith in us. We could never hurt that pretty little head, or anything in it, of his for too long!**

**Please check out our thread for this story on the Twilighted Forums. http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=6963&sid=**

**We also have a Twitter account and facebook account that we would love for you guys to follow us on. You can find the links on our profile page. For anyone who is reading Beautiful Stranger, we should be updating it shortly. Holly is in the process of writing the next chapter as we speak.**

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**XOXO,  
Pauline & Holly**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: We're back! Did you miss us? **

**~*~Exciting news! Pauline and I were interviewed by the fabulous **_**Coldplaywhore**_**. She also wrote up a review of our other story, **_**Beautiful Stranger**_**. The interview and review goes up tomorrow! You can check it out on **_**P.I.C's Fanfic Corner**_** found here: www(dot)picffcorner(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**~*~ Sorry for the long wait, but B x E had so much to say that we decided to make this chapter a split pov! It's our little gift to our wonderful readers ;) So, go grab a dirty martini, or wine, or whatever tickles your fancy and hold all your calls. It's time to sit back and find out what these crazy kids are doing…or remembering…or not remembering ;)**

**~*~ Stop by our Twilighted thread. We posted three teasers for this chapter over there. Remember all teasers will be posted there.**

**Thanks to SweetDulcinea for her mad beta skills. She has such patience and she's damn quick, too!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. We are just left wondering why the hell would she write a novella about Bree when there are other appealing vampires to choose from? Bree? Really??? **

* * *

***BPOV***

Sleep never came easy to me nowadays, especially since I didn't have the warmth of Edward's body draped around mine at night. Even though I had never felt so alone and lost before, my bed had actually become a sort of safe haven for me where I was free to truly express the plethora of emotions I was feeling. In the comfort of my bed, I was able to cry, get angry, or just listen to the music on my iPod to escape being me for a while.

I couldn't go too long without needing something, anything that reminded me of Edward and what we once shared, which is why I started to wear his fire academy shirt Christmas night, instead of what I had been doing after Edward's accident, which was sleeping with it as though it was a teddy bear.

I still couldn't believe that he kissed me that night. Not being able to bear it any longer watching my friends and their loved ones exchange gifts with one another, I had excused myself, citing that I had forgotten something down at my apartment. Okay, so it was a lie, which I am sure everyone there knew. The truth was I was feeling so suffocated that I couldn't even breathe properly. I was withholding the sobs that desperately wanted to be freed, and I didn't want to cause a scene. Maybe it was cowardly of me to leave, but there was only so much I could be strong for and take. A person can only take so much without wanting to scream and run for the hills.

Don't get me wrong, I was very happy for Alice and Rosalie, but it was only natural to feel a tad sorry for myself. I was sitting across the room from the man I loved who had no clue as to what exactly we were to each other and the significant depth to our relationship. Not being able to give a small token of our feelings for one another made me feel empty. I wasn't even able to sit near him for fuck's sake, which was equally frustrating. So, yeah…I ran. I bolted straight out of the damn building wanting to get some distance from Edward and not looking back. I figured the church was the safest place to enter and find some solace for a while.

I wanted a quiet place to reflect on all that had happened to me and Edward. I wanted a place where I was free to think about whatever was on my mind at the moment with no judgments or someone else's opinions cast upon me. I wanted peace. What I wanted most of all was for _my_ Edward to return to me, memories intact, which was why I lit a candle, praying to any god who would listen. Someone up there had to have been hearing my prayers, right? I had to believe that all this shit was happening to us for a reason, and I only hoped we would come out stronger in the end…and hopefully together.

I had to say that I was extremely shocked when Edward placed a chaste kiss on my lips when we spoke back in my apartment. There was something so sweet and innocent about it, yet I still felt the electrical hum of desire travel throughout my body that I had always known with him. I was sure that he felt something as well, but I certainly wasn't going to push the matter with him. Edward had asked me to be patient with him, his voice pleading. He wanted to find his way back to me naturally, hoping the memories would come quicker. I was hopeful that he would recall everything we shared, but in the research I had done on the internet and from what the doctors had said, there was a chance he would never recover any memories. The closer to the accident they were, the higher the probability Edward wouldn't recall anything at all.

So where did that leave us? It was hard to tell, but I was going to be patient with Edward and try to do things his way. Then again, did I have any other choice? After all, he was the one with the memory loss, so he ultimately had to set the pace for our relationship so he wouldn't feel pressured. That still didn't mean I liked it, but I would follow Edward's lead if brought him back to me. I loved him and he owned me, body and soul…a fact that he was so blissfully unaware of. Hating the fact that I had no control over this situation, I chose to follow Edward's lead. Unfortunately, his pace was that of a damn snail, considering it was Monday and I hadn't had any type of contact with him in two days. I sure as hell wasn't about to pester him about hanging out. It took all the willpower I had stored just to keep my damn hands away from any phones to call him.

That thought woke me from my nearly successful slumber…that and the strong coffee smell that was currently permeating the air around me. Turning over onto my back, I stretched, raising my hands over my head and sighed. I was in the process of thinking what I was going to do today, since I was on my winter break, when my eyes fluttered open. It wasn't until my eyes decided to wander around my room when I noticed a pair of sock-laced feet crossed and resting by my knees on my bed.

Startled by my new discovery, I sat up quickly. "What the…," I said, to the person who was perched in my desk chair by my bedside.

It was Edward…I think. My mind was still in a haze of sleep.

"Oh, Jesus, now I am really going crazy," I said, looking at the ceiling and rubbing my eyes. "Now I'm imagining Edward is here in my room." I shook my head at my silliness. Yes, I dreamt of Edward every night, but seeing visions of him? I definitely had to go out today to get my mind off things for a while.

I turned toward the deep chuckling noise next to me. "You're not seeing things, Bella. I'm really here. I am sorry if I scared you."

"What are you doing here?" I blurted out, still a little shocked.

"I wanted to see you. Alice came up and told me you were still sleeping. I thought I would bring you some breakfast, so she gave me her keys and I let myself in." He looked so comfortable lounging the way he was, reading the newspaper like he hadn't a care in the world.

"What time is it?"

"Ten-thirty. You really like to sleep, don't you?" Edward gave me a panty dropping smirk. I bet he had no idea what that smirk did to me. I frowned at that thought.

"What's the matter? Are you angry that I'm here?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

I crossed my legs under my covers and faced him. "No, I'm not angry. Surprised is more like it, considering I haven't seen you. You've been MIA for a couple of days." I had to get that tiny dig in to make him aware that I had noticed his disappearance.

"Yeah, um…sorry about that. I spent some time with my parents before they flew back home. I also slept a lot, seeing as the holiday was draining." Edward dropped his feet to the floor and sat up.

Draining? I guess that was one way to put it. I knew that must have been the biggest reason why he was so tired. I too was mentally exhausted. "Oh," was all I had to offer.

"I'm sorry. That came out all wrong. What I meant to say was decorating the apartment, my parents visiting, and moving around too much is what made it physically draining. I've been in some pain and it's really frustrating considering I am a very active person."

"Your parents left? I would have liked to say goodbye to them. Had I known they were leaving, I would have stopped up to wish them a safe trip." I looked down, my fingers twisting together out of frustration. I couldn't look at him for fear he would know I was a little pissed.

"To tell you the truth, my parents did want to see you, but I said that maybe it was best if they left you alone. I wasn't thinking how you would have wanted to see them," Edward stated, pinching the bridge of his nose together with his thumb and forefinger. "God, I am such a jackass. I really am sorry, Bella." He shook his head. The look on his face was one of remorse, so I knew his words were true.

I shrugged my shoulders, feigning nonchalance. "Don't worry about it, Edward. Maybe I'll get the opportunity to visit with them again. Wait…I didn't mean…" I stammered, flustered that I basically implied that we would go to Chicago again to his parents' house.

"Well, my parents had mentioned something about you and everyone visiting once the weather gets warmer. Chicago is a sight in the springtime. I would love to take you to Millennium Park when the sun is shining and there's no snow on the ground." Edward smiled genuinely and my heart melted. God, how I have missed that smile. My stomach did flips just thinking at the prospect of Edward really wanting to take me back to Chicago even when our future was uncertain. This gave me a shred of hope that Edward was trying to reestablish our relationship and create new memories with me.

"I'd like that very much, Edward," I replied softly, my own smile creeping on my face, the anger sliding off my back.

There was a slight lull in conversation, a thin layer of tension coating the air around us as we both looked away from one another. It was obvious that we were dancing around one another, basically walking on eggshells.

Edward stood up and leaned in toward me, staring intently into my eyes. I froze in my spot in anticipation, giving him the same look he was gracing me with. Was he going to try something out and kiss me again? Oh, god…I still had morning breath!

He placed a hand on my bed next to my thigh as the other one reached over me to take hold of the stuffed animal wolf that had been taking up residence on the pillow next to me for a few months. I had to admit that I stole a little whiff of Edward while he was in such close proximity to me. I couldn't help it; his clean laundry smell got to me every time I was close to him. My need for Edward was rapidly growing, and if he stayed any longer hovering over me the way he was, I wasn't going to be held responsible for my actions, which consisted of pulling him down on top of me by his shirt collar and wrapping my legs around his waist.

Edward ripped me from my musings when he stunned me with the words that casually flowed from his mouth. "I can't believe you still have this thing. I knew you were eyeing this the moment I stepped up to the booth. I would have paid the guy behind the counter a hundred bucks and not have played that silly game just to see the smile that lit up your face when I handed this ratty thing to you." He lightly laughed at his memory, tossing the wolf in my lap as he turned and limped slightly for the door. Before leaving the room, he stole a glance at me over his shoulder and said, "Come on sleepy head, I made you some coffee and I brought you a bagel."

_Holy fuck! _Edward just had a memory…and it was of me and him. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. My emotions scattered, causing my heart to beat rapidly. I could feel my face scrunching up as I thought how I was going to bring up the fact that he just recalled a significant memory of the beginning of our relationship. I knew I had to tread lightly because Edward hadn't realized yet what he just remembered. If he had realized, he would have been happy…I think. Instead, he was very nonchalant about it, which alerted me to the fact that he hadn't made the connection. I didn't want to get overly excited, even though my subconscious was fist pumping the air, doing a little jig. Once he left the room, I shot out of bed, eager to be by Edward's side, just in case he was going to spill more memories.

***~*~***

"He did what?" Alice shouted, dropping her clipboard she was doing inventory on to the floor.

It was Wednesday and Rose and I came by Alice's boutique to try on some dresses she selected for us as a possible outfit for New Year's Eve. _Club Eclipse_ was going to hold their first annual New Year's Eve bash. Some of the guys from the firehouse, including Mike and Tyler, thought it would be a great idea to let loose and spend the evening drinking and dancing together. Knowing how much weight from Emmett and Edward's accident was still crushing us all, between taking the guys to their physical therapy appointments and the strained relationship between Edward and myself, we collectively agreed that a night out was well deserved.

"I said Edward remembered winning me that wolf from the festival he took me to on our first date," I repeated, shrugging my shoulders.

"Bella, this is huge. Why aren't you happy about this new development?" Rose asked tentatively, gripping my hand that was resting on my knee and giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Truthfully, I am so afraid of making a big deal of it to Edward because I don't want him to back away any further than he has from me since this whole damn mess occurred. If I make a fuss and scream excitedly that he pieced together something important about us, he'll probably think I am trying to rush us back in the way things were between us," I sighed.

"Well, did he say anything else after that?" Alice inquired in her high pitched voice, a telltale sign that she was getting excited.

"Nope. That's what's so crazy. He acted like nothing had just transpired and he left my room to get me some breakfast. It was the oddest thing…even stranger than when he kissed me on Christmas night."

"Holy shit! He kissed you! What the hell is wrong with you, Bella? Why are we just hearing about this now?" Alice shrilled, leering at me.

"Alice, please. This is exactly why I didn't tell anyone," I started, waving my finger in her direction. "You are way too amped up over this and that will set too many warning bells off with Edward. It was just a simple, chaste kiss. He initiated it because he wanted to try something out. What that was, I have no idea, but I was just happy to feel his lips on me once again. It was a very lovely moment, and I didn't want it to be clouded with people's opinions and comments. And just so you know, I am not sorry for not telling anyone. It was a sweet and private moment between me and Edward."

Alice shot me a pointed glance, but then she walked over and fell to her knees so she was eye level with me and placed her hands on my knees. "I understand, Bella. I learned my lesson last week not to meddle so much. It's just that I can feel that a monumental change is coming…like something is shifting in the universe and we are all about to be affected by it."

"Yeah, something's shifting alright. It's called my fiancée is coming here in a half an hour expecting me to be ready to eat some lunch after his physical therapy appointment, and if I keep him waiting, all hell will break lose. There's your big cosmic shift, Alice." Rosalie laughed and stood up from the bench by the window we were sitting on and headed toward the dressing rooms. "And for the love of God, Alice, please leave Bella be. Hasn't she been through enough to have to worry about every little reaction you are going to make when she does or does not tell you something related to Edward's memory recovery?" she lectured, turning her head in my direction, giving me a sly smile and a wink.

I could always count on Rose to do the talking for me, especially with Alice. Rosalie knew how to shut Alice up.

Forty-five minutes later, Alice had called us out of our dressing rooms for the last time. I was hoping that I would hit the jackpot with this last dress because I was tired and I just wanted to go home. Of course, Rosalie had found her perfect dress within the first ten minutes of trying on Alice's suggestions. When I stepped out of the dressing room, I heard my friends gasp.

"What? Geez, don't tell me I have to find another dress," I huffed crossing my arms.

"No, certainly not! Bella, you look so hot. Any guy who sees you at the club is going to drool over you," Alice complimented, standing up and fiddling with my hair. "Maybe you should wear your hair up a little and show some neck. It's sexy," Alice purred, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Well, I don't want just any guy drooling over me. I would prefer it if it were a bronze-haired fireman," I quipped, turning to the mirror to inspect myself. I had to admit, I didn't look half bad. With the right shoes and accessories, maybe I could make Edward fall to his knees.

My dress was stunning, as usual, considering Alice designed it. It was a navy blue silk halter top- the front coming to a 'v' between my breasts. The halter top was adorned with sparking silver and blue sequins. The rest of the dress flowed to the top of my knees. I loved it because it was just my style…comfortable.

Rose came over to the mirror between Alice and me and snaked her arms around our shoulders. "Ladies, I must say that we are some fine lookin' sexy bitches."

"Damn straight, baby!" Emmett bellowed, charging towards us, pimp cane in hand. Truthfully, he probably would have been walking around with that god awful thing even if he had never been injured. He grabbed Rose by the hand, pulled her toward him, and planted a loud, sloppy kiss on her lips.

"Emmett! Watch my lipstick, you ass. Let go of the dress, baby. I have to go and change before we can go eat," Rose chided, playfully smacking him on his arm. Secretly, Rose loved the attention Emmett constantly showered on her. She was all about playing hard to get to keep the romance alive, so to speak.

Just then, Edward and Jasper walked through the door deep in conversation. Edward led the way, but his head was turned toward Jasper.

"Seriously, dude. That was a bad call on the ref's part. The coach should have challenged it. That's why I think the _Seahawks_…" Edward's words abruptly stopped as he turned to face us. His attention, however, was on me as his eyes raked over my appearance. Time seemed to have stood still as I was glued to my spot, hypnotized by his intense stare.

Alice was still standing next to me fussing with my hair, but when she noticed how Edward was checking me out, she immediately stopped, letting my hair break free from her clutches. I felt as though I was having a supreme supermodel moment as my hair effortlessly swooshed along my shoulders from Alice's movements.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Alice lean in at my ear. "See, I told you that this dress looked hot on you. Commence _Operation Drool_," she whispered, nudging my side with her elbow. She then flitted her way toward Jasper, giving him a kiss hello. Rose and Emmett went to go sit on one of the plush benches that were outside the dressing area. It was safe to say my friends were going to give me and Edward a "moment."

Edward crept slowly toward me, his eyes never leaving my face. I tried to control my breathing as best I could. I had seen that look on Edward's face before - it was one of desire. He wanted me. That was just about the only thing I was sure of. I bit the inside of my cheek so my mouth wouldn't break out in some cheesy victory smile. Finally, Edward was evoking an emotion that I had been waiting weeks for. God, I wanted him so badly, but I had to play it cool.

"Hey," he started in a familiar husky voice, one he saved for me when he was horny. He cleared his throat. "Is that…uh, is that the dress you are wearing tomorrow night?" He reached his pointer finger out to touch the sequins along the halter top of my dress.

"Yes," I breathed, briefly closing my eyes to soak in the feeling on Edward's one finger touching me. It was pathetic how much I ached for this man.

As his finger left me, I opened my eyes and smiled slightly.

"It looks really pretty on you, Bella," he said. "All the guys are going to fight for your attention," he quipped, winking at me. _So fucking adorable._

"Well, there's only one man whose attention I want. I don't care about the others," I boldly said, looking at him square in the eyes. His eyes widened a little when I said that, and he gave me a small lopsided smirk. Hey, I was taking his lead, and at that moment, Edward was being playful, flirtatious. Who was I to stand in his way? I loved it.

Emmett decided to break our little bubble of sexual tension by clearing his throat and standing up. "Alright, enough of that, you two. Bella, you look slammin', but I am a very hungry man. So let's move it, sister."

"Emmett," Edward said in a warning tone before he peered in my direction. "Take your time, Beautiful, we'll _all_ wait for you," he finished, glaring at Emmett at that last part.

_Oh. My. God!_ He did it again! Edward had always called me Beautiful rather than my own name. Hearing him use that term of endearment after going so long, too long, without him saying it was indescribable. A shiver surged down my spine and my head was clouded with thoughts of uncertainty. Did I point out to him what he just called me or did I let the chips fall where they may? At that moment, I chose to keep my mouth shut, but I couldn't help but think that this was twice in a couple of days where he had blurted out something extremely significant to us. I was reeling inside, while everyone just stared at us, as though waiting for Edward to shout, "I'm back!"

"What?" Edward questioned, looking between all of us, expecting some sort of answer from someone.

"N-nothing. Come on, let's wait for Rose and Bella in the car," Alice said quickly, pulling Edward by his good arm and leading him out the door. Jasper and Emmett followed suit, but not without shooting me a shocked glance at what they just heard Edward say. _Everyone_ knew Edward called me Beautiful.

Rose followed me into the dressing room. "Did he just call…?"

"Yes," I interrupted, knowing what she was going to say. "See what I mean? It didn't even register that he called me that, like it just came naturally to him. I don't know what to make of it and I am scared to get excited, Rose. I'm so scared to get my hopes up," I sighed, even though I was elated he called me Beautiful, I knew the feeling would be short lived.

"Oh honey, let's just take it one memory at a time," Rosalie comforted, giving me a sideways hug. "I think it's a great sign that Edward is beginning to remember things about you, even if he doesn't realize it yet. It's only a matter of time. Hang in there and know that you have the rest of us as a support system."

***~*~***

Later that night, Seth, Tyler, and Mike decided to stop by the guy's apartment. What was supposed to be a short visit turned into a men's poker night, filled with cigars, beer, and pizza. Rose and I decided to have an impromptu girl's sleepover at my place. Alice and Japer were spending some quality time together, so they were out for the night.

We were channeling our inner youth by wearing our pajamas early, throwing our hair up in pony tails, and watching _Grease_. It was one of our favorite movies we loved watching in college. We were having a blast singing along to all the songs at full volume. I was sure we were going to get a noise complaint, but we didn't care. It felt so damn great to get my mind off the serious stuff for a while. Rose was always good for distracting your thoughts. However, I knew that if I wanted to sit and talk about Edward, she would listen wholeheartedly and give advice when needed. She never pried for information like Alice.

A knock on the door, or bang I should say, interrupted our last routine at the end of the movie. We didn't bother to lower the sound as _You're the One That I Want_ blasted throughout the place. I jumped off the couch to answer the door, as Rose was still singing and dancing on the cushions.

Before I could get a word in when I opened the door, I was immediately scooped up and thrown over Tyler's shoulder. He was dancing and spinning me around headed for the couch.

"Tyler! Put me down!" I playfully screamed, laughing the whole time while slapping his lower back and kicking my legs.

"Never, Swan. You're mine now," he chuckled darkly, holding me tighter to him.

I lifted my head up to see Rose fly off the couch and bolt toward Emmett who was leaning on the kitchen counter, next to Edward, who happened to have the oddest look splashed on his face. His lips were pressed into a thin line and his forehead was creased so much that I had never seen so many lines on his face. He was looking at me and Tyler's interaction.

I tried to further lift my head so I could make eye contact with Edward, but I couldn't. He was pissed. Could it be that he was jealous that Tyler and I were joking around? Was it evil of me to sort of hope he was jealous and that I secretly liked the fact that he was?

I was about to ask Tyler again to put me down when he started to tickle me behind my knees. It wasn't meant to be in an intimate manner or anything like that. Tyler and I happened to be good friends. We used to double date when I was with Jacob and he was with his ex-girlfriend. I'm sure Edward didn't know that though.

"Shit…Tyler…stop that…you know I am…ticklish!" I said between fits of laughter.

Tyler stopped his assault on my knees when Mike went to the TV and lowered the volume and stepped toward where Tyler was standing.

"Um, dude? I think you should let Bella down and stop touching her like that. Cullen looks like some freaky stone statue the way he's boring a hole in the back of your head. He may be contemplating kicking your ass right now," Mike said in a low voice, his face drenched with fear that Edward was about to go ape shit on his buddy.

"Shit," Tyler whispered as he set me back on my feet. "Man, I'm sorry, Cullen. I meant no disrespect or anything. It's just that Bella and I go way back, and maybe you don't remember that," he nervously explained.

Edward simply stood there, never once glancing my way.

Emmett howled in laughter. "Keep on digging that grave of yours, Ty. You and Bella go way back? Now how does that sound to our dear Edward here?" He patted Edward's shoulder and shook his head. "I mean, for Christ's sake, she's wearing his shirt and it clearly says 'Cullen' on the back…not 'Crowley.' Emmett was joking around, but I felt bad for Tyler. He was a good guy and I knew that Tyler didn't want Edward to think he was massively flirting with me.

"Oh, leave him alone, Emmett," I intervened, walking toward Edward. "Tyler's a good friend and nothing else, and stop trying to make Edward think otherwise because he can't recall how well I know you and the other guys at the fire house," I explained to Edward, who showed no signs of returning to his normal relaxed stance.

Rose broke the tension by suggesting we all go upstairs to have a beer together. She also wanted in on that poker game and a chance to smoke a cigar.

I felt a hand pull me back by my arm when I tried to exit.

"Wait a second," Edward commanded. I thought he was still a little upset. Instead of feeling nervous, I had to stifle my laughs that were threatening to spill from me. He was jealous and I loved every minute of it. I am a woman after all, and sometimes we do need to feel desired.

"Edward, please don't be angry. Tyler is a good guy and I know he feels awful now. He wasn't flirting with me at all," I said softly, placing my hand on his shoulder. God, it felt so good to touch him.

"I'm not upset that he picked you up…well, yes I am. But I was more pissed at the fact he was tickling you and knew right away where to garner a reaction from you. _I_ should be the one knowing where you like to be touched," he said, a little forlornly.

"We have all the time in the world to find out exactly where I liked to be touched," I whispered shakily, suddenly feeling extremely aroused, the ache for him to touch me in all the right places boring a hole in my stomach. "I'm not going anywhere, Edward. After all, it does say 'Cullen' on my shirt, does it not?" I said playfully, wanting to diffuse his foul mood.

"Yes it does," he said, a smile finally breaking free. His fingers circled his name that was written above the swell of my right breast. I shivered slightly, reveling in Edward's feather light touch. This felt different from our kiss a few nights ago. This was a moment of exploration, of marking his territory in a way since he was testing the waters circling a very sexual area…my breast. My nipples puckered, giving Edward a wave hello. They too have missed him.

"I fucking love that you wear my shirt. I think it's sexy."

Jesus, if he didn't stop the sultry movements that were barely taking place on my boob and the way he was talking to me, I was going to pool right at his feet. He had to have known what he was doing to me, right? The old Edward would be doing this on purpose to turn me on, but this new Edward seemed just as determined to set me on fire. Perhaps he really wanted to be with me just as much as I never wanted to let him go. I would take this happy medium between old and new Edward. I still loved him all the same.

"I wear it every night," I admitted, gazing into his gorgeous green eyes.

"Good," was his response as he bent down to place a soft kiss on my cheek.

_Yup, New Year's Eve is going to be very interesting,_ I thought to myself as we left my apartment to join our friends upstairs.

* * *

***EPOV***

I sat in my living room watching an episode of _Maury Povich. _I couldn't help but laugh at the reaction of the guy on TV when Maury read the results of the paternity test confirming that he _was_ the 'baby daddy.' I wondered to myself how much they paid these idiots to appear on the show because I couldn't imagine that anyone with any dignity would allow themselves to be humiliated like this on national television…unless they were being paid.

I glanced at the clock and decided that I'd better get showered because I had an appointment with my orthopedist this afternoon to make sure all my bones were healing correctly. I grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. I slowly got up and made my way over to the phone to call Alice. I still needed help showering and she had been helping me out over the past week since my parents had left. Now…don't be getting all disgusted. I wore a bathing suit in the bath or shower. I didn't need my cousin seeing my junk. That would be wrong on so many levels.

I picked up the phone and dialed Alice's cell phone. After several rings she answered.

"Hey Pix, do you think you can come up and help me get ready for my doctor's appointment?"

"Shit!" she yelled into the phone. "I totally forgot that was today. Look Edward, I'm at work and we are completely swamped. I thought we were busy before Christmas, but boy was I wrong. We have been mobbed all day. I think a lot of people are looking for something to wear for New Years."

"Oooo-kay," I said. "So I take it you can't drive me to the doctor today, huh?"

"I'm really sorry, Edward. I totally would, but I can't leave my staff here shorthanded."

"That's okay," I told her feeling guilty that I had to rely on people so much for the most basic stuff. "I can just call a cab, it really isn't a problem."

"Hey, I just had an idea," Alice said. "Bella is off from school this whole week. Why don't you call her and ask her to drive you? She doesn't have a car but she can drive yours."

"Uh, yeah, I guess I can do that," I responded, sounding a little apprehensive.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You are lying," she scolded. "Oooooh…you need help getting showered, don't you?" she said, snickering under her breath. "Well, I'm sure Bella would be more than happy to…"

"It's okay, Alice," I said cutting her off. "I'll just take a bath. That way I can sit down in the tub. Plus I have to learn to be more self-sufficient. I can't rely on everyone all the time."

"Suit yourself," she said. "Go start getting ready and I will call Bella and ask her to drive you to the doctor. Your appointment is at two o'clock, right?"

"Yes," I responded.

"Okay, she'll be there to take you," she said to me before I heard her start to break up a fight between two women who were arguing over a dress and hung up.

I put down the phone and laughed. _God, women were passionate over their clothes_.

I limped down the hall toward the bathroom and turned on the water to let the tub fill up. While I waited, I went into my room and checked my email quickly. I responded to my mother letting her know that I was okay and I would call her tonight to let her know what the doctor said about my progress. I then shed my clothes, throwing them into the hamper in the corner. I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed back into the bathroom. I felt the water and shut off the faucet. Just as I did, I heard someone call out.

"Hello? Edward?"

It was Bella. I looked out the door of the bathroom into Jasper's room, which was directly across the hall, where I could see the clock on his nightstand. It was only twelve-fifteen. Had Alice given her the wrong time for my appointment?

"I'm here," I called to her. I stepped out of the bathroom and found Bella walking down the hall toward me. When she saw me she stopped short, taking in my appearance as I was only wearing a towel and nothing else. Her eyes raked over my body from head to toe and when they finally traveled back up and met my eyes, she blushed a bright shade of crimson. A huge smirk broke out across my face. She immediately looked at anything but me. All of a sudden something on her nails became fascinating. I had to laugh.

I briefly allowed my eyes to trail down her body. Of course I thought she was beautiful but man…her body was hot! Imagining her standing before me in just a towel made me almost lightheaded. It seems that all the blood in my head was currently flowing down stream towards my _other_ head. I needed to stop this line of thinking because I didn't think the thin barrier of terry cloth wrapped around my waist was going to conceal my _secret_.

_Down Boy!_

"Uh…Alice called and said you needed a ride to your doctor's appointment and help getting showered," she said softly while continuing to study her finger nails.

"Well, I told her not to bother you. I decided I would take a bath instead of a shower so I could try to do it myself," I responded.

"Oh…I'm sorry. I'll just leave and come back to get you in a little while," she said as she turned around to make her way back to the door.

"Bella, wait," I called to her, effectively making her turn back around to face me. "Actually…if you didn't mind…I…I…" I was stuttering, feeling like a mumbling idiot. "I may still need some help washing my hair. I can't get my cast wet and it is kind of hard to wash it with one hand."

"Okay," she said softly. "I would be more than happy to help you out."

She started to walk toward the bathroom door as I hesitated slightly and turned to walk back to my bedroom.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I was…uh…I figured you would rather I…put on a bathing suit. That's what I do when Alice helps me."

She let out a small chuckle. "Uh…I don't think a bathing suit will be necessary. It's not like I haven't seen it…" she waved her hand out in front of me…well, towards my package to be exact, "before."

I just looked at her, stunned. I wanted to crack up.

"But if you would feel more comfortable, I can turn around until you get into the tub," she said.

I let a sly, cocky grin spread across my face. I was in a playful mood and wanted to get a rise out of her. "Bella, if you're okay with it, then I'm okay with it," I said in a slightly smug, mischievous manner, and with that I dropped the towel I had around my waist to the floor and walked past her into the bathroom.

I tried so hard to stifle my laugh as I stepped into the tub. The sight of her eyes bugging out of her head made it really hard to stay composed.

I stood in the tub, thinking of the best way to sit down since I couldn't put all my weight on my one foot and I couldn't support any weight on my one wrist. "Uh, Bella," I called out. She was still standing stunned outside the bathroom. I saw her shake her head to regain her composure and slowly turn to face me in the doorway.

I continued to have to stifle the laugh that was begging to be released when I noticed she was doing everything she could to just stare at my face and nothing else.

"Y…y…yes," she stuttered.

"Could you come give me a hand sitting down?"

She shook her head and mumbled something low under her breath that sounded something like, _'get yourself together, you can do this,'_ before she looked back at me. "Of course, Edward." She walked over to the tub and grabbed a hold of my good hand while wrapping her other arm around my waist, holding as much of my weight as she could, while I lowered myself into the water.

I looked up at her as she took a seat on the edge of the tub. "Thanks," I said, all joking aside.

She smiled down at me, staring into my eyes intensely. "It's my pleasure, Edward," she whispered. "I've wanted nothing more than to help you in any way I could this whole time. I'm just glad that you are finally allowing me to."

I reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. I held the gaze of our eyes, trying to relay an unspoken message to her that I was done trying to lock her out. If there was any way we were going to get through this, we had to do it together. I hoped to God that I would remember our past, but if I couldn't I knew there was enough between us that we could make new memories together.

She reluctantly let go of my hand and reached across me to grab the bottle of body wash from the ledge. When she picked up the pink body puff sponge, a smile spread across her face and she looked down, cocking an eyebrow at me.

"Are you a fan of body wash and pink sponges from _Bath and Body Works?_" she asked while trying her damndest not to break out into fits of laughter.

"Give me that!" I said, trying hard to not laugh myself, as I grabbed the sponge and bottle of soap out of her hands. "Alice brought it over when she started helping me bathe. But don't laugh at me. Emmett and Jasper have both smelled awfully floral the last few days, and I even caught Jasper trying to sneak in the other day with a bag from that same store. When I swiped it out of his hands I found that he had the matching lotion and body spray. He said it was for Alice, but I don't believe him."

Bella lost it. She started laughing so hard that I thought she was going to fall off the side of the tub and into the water. Not that I would have minded at all. Hmmm…

"Okay, Edward," she said as she controlled herself again, "your secret is safe with me."

I opened the soap and poured a little onto the puffy sponge. I started to wash my arm, avoiding my cast as well as I could. When I went to switch hands so I could get my other arm, I realized that it would get my cast all wet.

"Give it here," she said as she reached and grabbed the sponge from my hand.

"Yes ma'am," I responded.

She dipped it into the water, grazing her hand slightly on my outer thigh. I looked up at her and again we locked eyes. She brought the sponge up and began to wash my other arm. Her movements were soft and soothing. She gently ran the sponge up and down, leaving an icy hot trail along my skin. She scooted herself over on the ledge a bit so she was slightly behind me. I heard her dip the sponge back into the water and then she started to clean my back. My head dropped forward and it took all I had to not moan. I was glad that I had filled the tub up pretty high, and there was now a slight layer of bubbles along the top from the soap, because just below the surface of the water I was sporting some major wood.

I heard the sponge dip back into the water behind me and then Bella squeezed it over my shoulders so that water ran down over my chest.

"Back up a little, Edward," Bella said softly. I scooted backwards a bit and all of a sudden Bella's hands, with the sponge still in one, ran over my shoulders, down my chest, over my stomach and back up again. I froze. This felt like much more than just a good cleaning. It felt highly erotic, and I liked it…a lot! But aside from the obvious physical effect it was having on my body, I couldn't help but realize how familiar this all felt. I wasn't sure if it was her touch that was familiar to me…or had we bathed together before? I wasn't sure.

"Uh…Edward?"

"Yes," I responded, still dazed in thought.

"Ummm…my hand," she said.

"Huh?" I said, before looking down and realizing that I had placed my hand over hers and was holding it firmly against my chest. I dropped my hand quickly, causing it to splash water up into my face, making Bella laugh.

"Sorry," I mumbled embarrassingly.

"Don't ever be sorry for holding me close to you," she said in a whisper.

I looked back at her and smiled. I could hear her genuine affection in those words and honestly, I felt them too. I wanted to hold her close to me. I was just afraid that if I responded to the pull I felt when I was around her, I would give her false hope at the progress my mind was making. Yet, it's funny, when I didn't over think things, and just let my body lead the way, I always seemed to do just what she wanted…needed.

"Okay, lean your head back so I can wet your hair."

I did as she told me and closed my eyes, basking in the feeling of her fingers rubbing through my hair as she lathered it up in shampoo. There is something so sensual about someone washing your hair…and even more so having Bella being the one washing it. This was clearly not helping out my boner situation but in the moment, I failed to give a shit. It felt extremely intimate, and fucking amazing.

Once she rinsed the last of the shampoo out of my hair she announced that she was finished.

"I'm sorry I took so long," she laughed out at me. "You are a prune right now."

I looked down at my wrinkled hand and smiled. "It was worth it," I told her, giving her a wink that made her blush.

"Okay, let's get you out of there so you can get dressed and we can make it to your doctor's appointment on time." She reached her hands under my arms and slowly started to pull in order to get me out.

All of a sudden I panicked. "Shit!" I said aloud.

"What?" she yelped in shock, letting go of me and I plopped back into the water.

I moaned in frustration. "Damn Bella…you've just been rubbing me, running your hands over me, and well…I'm a guy…that shit does stuff to us." I dropped my face into my hand.

"Oh…ooooh," she said in realization before breaking out in laughter. She quickly cleared her throat. "Again, Edward…nothing I haven't seen before. And like you said before…if it doesn't make me uncomfortable then it shouldn't make you uncomfortable either."

I looked at her and she was smiling at me. So I smiled back and lifted my arms out so she could put her hands back where they were to help me out. "Okay."

As soon as I was far enough up so that I was completely exposed I heard her gasp. I decided that this could either be extremely awkward or I could just make light of it and bust her chops.

"I know it's impressive, but just promise me you won't drop me again." When I looked at her I saw her face go bright red.

She pulled me the rest of the way up so that I was now standing. Without saying anything she turned to grab a towel and I was afraid that maybe I had offended her.

When she turned back towards me she handed me the towel. "Believe me, I haven't forgotten how _impressive _you are. Now dry yourself off," she demanded in a sexy tone. She gently placed her hands on my chest and leaned in close so that her lips were right by my ear. "And when you're done I think you can find something to hang it on to dry," she whispered seductively, giving me a wink, and turned to walk out of the bathroom.

I stood there with my mouth hanging open. This girl had quick wit. Not only was she beautiful, but she could give it just as much as I could. I have to say that this realization was doing nothing to help my southern situation, but it made me smile.

I walked out of the bathroom and saw Bella leaning against the wall.

"I'm just going to get changed real quick and then I'll be ready to go," I told her.

"Okay, I'll just go and wait in the living room."

She pushed off against the wall to walk down the hall when I caught wind of her scent. "That's pretty, whatever it is you are wearing. It smells like the one you used to wear before Alice picked out that new one for you in Chicago. I think I like it better." I turned and walked into my room. When I turned around to close my door, I saw that Bella was standing at the end of the hallway with her back to me, as still as a statue. It was as if she had seen a ghost. I was about to ask her if she was okay, but she shook her head and walked slowly off into the living room. I shrugged my shoulders to myself and closed the door to get dressed.

**~*~**

My doctor's appointment had gone well. They had taken some x-rays and my doctor told me everything looked like it was healing well. He informed me that I would probably be able to get the cast off my wrist in another month. I asked him when he thought I would be able to go back to work. He told me that although I was healing well I couldn't rush these things, especially in the line of work I did, although he didn't see any reason why I couldn't return soon to man the phones.

This was not what I wanted to hear, but anything was better than being stuck in the apartment all day long.

I met Bella in the waiting room where she greeted me with a big smile.

"How'd it go?" she asked as we walked out of the office and through the parking lot toward my car.

"Good. Doc said I can go back to work soon."

Bella stopped dead in her tracks. "_What_?" she yelled.

I stopped to face her, somewhat confused by her reaction. "I can only do desk work for a while until my bones completely heal," I told her.

She turned away from me, walked to the driver's side, and got in. She seemed mad for some reason and I had no idea why.

I walked slowly over to the passenger side door and slid into my seat. She started the car without looking at me and backed out of the spot.

"Bella, is something wrong?"

"No, Edward. I'm fine," she snapped.

"Oooo-kay," I replied. How had her mood just flipped like that? She was all smiles when I first walked out into the waiting room, and now she seemed really pissed. I had no idea why my telling her I could go back to work would get her so angry. Didn't she understand I was going stir crazy sitting in my apartment all day long?

We drove in complete silence back to the apartment. I was unsure of what to do or say because I had no idea what was wrong.

When we pulled into the parking garage of our apartment building, Bella parked in my spot and shut off the car. I noticed her posture relax a bit before she turned to look at me. "I'm sorry I overreacted back there, Edward."

"What were you overreacting about?" I asked.

Suddenly her eyes filled with tears and she lowered her head so I couldn't see her face.

"Hey, hey, hey," I said softly as I reached out and put my fingers under her chin to lift her head up so I could see her. "Tell me what's wrong."

She reached up and wiped away the few tears that had fallen down her cheek with the back of her hand. "I'm just scared for you to go back to work. Every day when I wake up and think that all of this is too hard to handle, I remind myself that it would've been a lot harder if I had lost you." She paused for a moment, looking past me out the window. It seemed as if she was imagining if her words had been true; if I had died. Her body started trembling. She brought her eyes slowly back to meet mine. "That is the one thing that keeps me going, that keeps me from falling completely apart. All this waiting around for you to come back to me is torture, but I know it is nothing compared to what it would have been like for me if you hadn't survived. So knowing that you are going back to work…that you want to go back to work…it's just really hard."

Wow. How the hell was I supposed to respond to that? I felt so guilty. I had no idea, even though I should have, that she would be feeling this way.

I reached out and took her hands, trying to offer her some comfort. "I'm sorry. I should have been more sensitive to your feelings regarding the situation. It's just that…well…it is the only thing I have ever wanted to do with my life. It's the only thing I know, Bella."

She gave me a sad smile and squeezed my hands. "It's okay, Edward. We should get upstairs. It's almost four o'clock and we have to start getting ready for tonight. It's New Year's Eve after all. So much to celebrate," she said softly, but with a clear hint of sadness that wasn't hard to miss.

She pulled her hands from my grasp and opened the door to get out of the car. I got out and followed her to the elevator. We were silent again during the ride up but as the door opened at her floor, I reached out to stop her before she stepped out.

"I just wanted to thank you for…well…everything you did for me today. It was nice to spend time with you alone."

I wanted to lighten the mood. I didn't want her going back to her apartment sad. "I especially liked the bath," I said, stepping close to her. "I don't think I can ever go back to showering in my bathing suit again while my cousin washes my hair."

Bella looked up at me through her long lashes and just when I thought she might deck me she burst out into laughter.

"I have to say…thank God I know you are wearing your bathing suit. That would just be…well weird otherwise," she said through her laughter.

"Yeah, tell me about it," I said joining in with her laughter.

The elevator started to beep because I had held it open too long. I stepped back inside as Bella stepped out.

"I'll see you later tonight when we all head over to _Eclipse_," I said to her.

"Sounds good," she told me.

"You're still wearing that little blue number from Alice's store, right?" I asked as the elevator dinged alerting us that the doors were about to close.

"Yes," she answered as the doors started to shut.

"Well then you see, Bella, I do have a lot to celebrate tonight."

And right before the doors shut completely I caught her smile and blush.

_Fuck the dress_, I thought. That smile alone was enough to make me want to celebrate.

* * *

I finished getting dressed by nine-thirty since we were supposed to get to _Eclipse_ by ten. Alice had laid out the outfit she saw fit for tonight since we were supposed to get dressed up. I was wearing black dress pants, a dark blue button down shirt and a black tie. Pixie thought she was slick, but it didn't go without notice that the blue shirt I was wearing was exactly the same shade of blue as the dress that Bella was going to be wearing.

When I walked out into the living room, I found Emmett and Jasper sitting around drinking a beer. I had to laugh because Emmett was holding onto a brand new pimp cane that was covered in rhinestones at the top.

"What are you laughing at, butthole?" he asked.

"Probably the fact that your cane looks like it has a disco ball on the top of it," Jasper piped in.

Emmett looked over at Jasper. "That's the point," he told him in complete seriousness.

Jasper and I just doubled over in laughter.

"Hey! Rosie said it makes me look sexy. That and it matches her shoes."

Jasper and I laughed even harder.

"Damn man, you're whipped," Jasper managed to choke out in between his laughs.

"Yeah? Well at least Rose didn't make me wear custom made boxer shorts that say _'Jasper loves Alice,'"_ Emmett retorted.

Jasper immediately stopped laughing, looking mortified.

"Yeah, you didn't think I saw that shit when you were carrying your clothes into the bathroom before you showered," Emmett said, now in between his own fits of laughter.

I looked over at Jasper with my mouth hanging open.

"Don't ask," he said to me while shaking his head.

Emmett stood up and grabbed his pimp cane; he then threw me a can of beer. "Here…you can drink this on the way down to the girls' place."

When we got to Alice and Bella's apartment, Emmett just busted in the door like he owned the place and boomed out in his big voice, "Hey Rosalie, come here woman and give me some lovin'."

"You call me woman one more time and you are going to be permanently limping on that damn cane of yours after I sweep your leg _Karate Kid_ style," Rosalie yelled out from whatever room she was currently in.

Emmett turned to me. "See what I mean? Now do you understand why I took that date book that Alice made for you right before your first date with Bella? Rosalie can seriously kick my ass. I need all the help I can get."

"Oh yeah," I laughed, "I totally forgot that you took that. Did you get any use out of it yet?"

Emmett was about to open his mouth to answer when Jasper cut in. "Wait, Edward, you remember Alice making that book?"

"Yeah, of course I do. We were hysterical when she gave it to me because she had stayed up all night making it and even ran out in the middle of the night to have it professionally bound." I continued to laugh over the memory.

I looked up and Jasper and Emmett were gaping at me, their mouths hanging open.

"What?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden at their stares.

"Edward, don't you see? You remember something having to do with your relationship with Bella. That happened the day you guys went on your first date. Do you remember anything else from that day?" Jasper asked.

_Holy shit!_ I hadn't even realized that I was having some sort of memory about something that just a week ago I wouldn't have remembered.

"Well?" Jasper pushed.

"Hang on a second, man. Give me a second to think."

I wracked my brain trying to remember something about our date.

"I…I can't remember. It's weird, if you hadn't brought up the book I probably wouldn't have recalled it on my own, but once you said it I did."

"Hey, Edward, do you remember the other day when we were at Alice's shop?" Jasper asked.

"Yes."

"You called Bella, Beautiful. Do you recall that?"

"Ummm…yeah, I guess so. I mean, she did look beautiful in that dress," I answered honestly.

"Well, I can't be sure if that is how you meant it or not but that was sort of your nickname for her."

"Really?" I responded.

"Yeah. Like I said, it's hard to say if you were just saying it because she looked beautiful or if it was because subconsciously that is what you always called her," Jasper tried to explain.

"Wow…I don't know, but thanks for mentioning it. I need to be more aware of what is coming out of my mouth I guess."

"Man this shit is huge!" Emmett boomed out.

"Shhh," I told him. "I don't need the girls to hear."

"Why not?" Jasper asked.

"Because it's only a couple of things, and one I am not even sure of. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up just yet. It's New Year's Eve and I want everyone to enjoy themselves without having to think about me and my fucked up brain."

They both nodded in agreement, promising to keep it to themselves for now.

The girls finally walked out all dressed and ready to go. When I saw Bella I almost busted a nut. She looked stunning. She was wearing the dress I had seen her in at Alice's boutique. She had paired it with an extremely sexy pair of blue stiletto high heels that had a little bit of sparkle on them. Her hair was pulled all up, piled loosely on the top of her head, with a few stray pieces hanging down. I never thought that seeing someone's neck and shoulders could be so sexy, but they were quickly becoming two of my favorite features on Bella's body. My dick raised his hand in complete agreement. I shifted slightly to try and hide him.

Jasper and Emmett stood and walked over to help Alice and Rosalie into their coats. I watched as Bella came over towards the couch I was sitting on to gather her coat that was draped over the back. I stood as quickly as I could and grabbed it before she did.

"Please, allow me," I said.

Bella smiled and turned so I could help her into it. "Thanks," she said while looking at me over her shoulder.

We all made our way out of the building and Jasper ran out to the road to hail two cabs. We weren't that far from the club, but between the girls and their heels and Emmett and I not being able to walk too far, we figured a cab would be the wisest choice.

After we all piled into the cabs, we made our way over to _Eclipse_.

When we got to the club, there was a huge line around the block. I was about to tell them that I was going back home because there was no way in hell I was standing in that line. It was too damn cold outside and I was in no position to be standing for too long. But apparently they all knew the owner…a woman named Victoria I was told, so we walked right in and were showed to a private section towards the side of the dance floor.

A redhead walked over to our table to greet us. I found out that this was Victoria. She kept staring at me but quickly excused herself, wishing us a good night, after I noticed Bella shooting daggers at her with her eyes.

"For once I'm glad that he doesn't remember something," I heard Bella mumble to Rosalie.

_Hmmm…had something happened between Victoria and me? _I made a mental note to ask Alice about that another time.

Complimentary bottles of liquor, juice, soda and champagne were brought over to our table by a waitress. We all made ourselves drinks and Emmett poured us each shots. We all held up our shot glasses and toasted before we downed them.

After everyone was feeling good, the girls got up and started dancing. Jasper, Emmett and I did a few more shots before the two of them made their way out onto the dance floor to claim their women.

I checked my watch and saw that it was eleven-thirty. I decided that I should use the bathroom now so that I would be back before midnight.

I made my way through the club and headed back toward the restroom. I laughed as I passed the huge ass line for the woman's room. I walked into the men's room, did my business, washed my hands and headed back out towards our table.

When I got halfway there, I saw Bella dancing with Mike Newton. I immediately saw red. It wasn't that I minded she was dancing with someone -okay maybe that was a lie - but something about him in particular didn't sit well with me. I knew that I was unable to dance because of my ankle, and I wanted her to have fun tonight, but what made my blood boil was the way his hands were gradually getting lower and lower down her back until they finally rested on the swell of her ass.

I stormed forward toward them. Right before I reached them, I saw Bella take a step back, telling Mike that he was drunk and being a little too touchy for her liking. He was about to say something back when I stepped in between them and got up in Mike's face.

"I suggest you keep your fucking hands to yourself unless you want to leave this bar in a much worse condition than I am in!"

"Edward!" Bella yelled. "It's okay! I have already handled the situation. There is no need to start a fight," she screamed at me.

I turned to her. "Oh yeah? This is the same asshole who told Tyler that it wasn't a good idea that he touch you the other night at your apartment, and yet here he is grabbing your ass on the dance floor right in front of my fucking face!" I spat out.

"He wasn't grabbing my ass, Edward."

"Well he was about to," I growled to her, looking to the side, watching Mike scurry away.

"Well at least someone wants to grab my ass!" she spat at me.

My head snapped back towards her. "And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

She was about to yell something back at me when she stopped herself. She shook her head and looked sadly down at the floor. "Nothing, Edward. It meant nothing," she said before walking slowly away.

I was now standing in the middle of the dance floor with everyone who was around us staring at me. I walked over to the bar and ordered a beer. After I paid the bartender, I took a swig and looked over toward our table and saw Bella sitting there all alone. I felt like the biggest dick. I had ruined her Christmas and now I was ruining her New Year's Eve.

"_Attention everyone! We have five more minutes until midnight. Get yourselves ready to party!" _the DJ announced.

I made my way through the crowd back to our table and sat down next to Bella.

"Hey," I said while nudging her with my shoulder.

She looked over and gave me a slight smile. "Hey."

"Bella, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to act like a raging, jealous boyfriend. There is just something about that guy that doesn't sit well with me when it comes to you."

She looked up at me but didn't say anything.

"I imagine my reaction was similar to yours when you were killing Victoria with your eyes earlier when she came over and was looking at me."

Her eyes widened in shock.

"Yeah, I saw that," I said with a smile. "I don't know what that is all about, but part of me doesn't even want to know."

Her lips finally lifted into a smile. "Yeah, you don't need to hear about that," she replied.

"Look…can we just forget about all that and try to have a good night?" I asked her.

Before she could answer, the DJ came on again announcing that there was one minute left before midnight. Bella stood up and reached her hand out to me.

"Come on, Edward. Let's go join our friends out on the dance floor."

I grabbed her hand and let her lead me to where Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie were.

We all huddled around each other and started counting down with the crowd. We all screamed "three, two, one…HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Confetti and balloons dropped from the ceiling and everyone started to cheer.

Emmett grabbed Rosalie and dipped her back before planting a big old kiss on her. Jasper put his hands on either side of Alice's face and mouthed _"_I love you_,"_ before leaning in and kissing her deeply.

I looked down at Bella and watched as she looked up at the ceiling, smiling, and holding her hands out as she watched all the confetti fall. She looked over at me and noticed that I was staring at her.

"Come here," I said grabbing her and pulling her to me. I wrapped her hands around my back before I circled mine around her. "Happy New Year, Bella," I said as I gazed down at her.

"Happy New Year, Edward."

I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers.

As soon as our lips touched I felt a jolt of electricity pulse through my body. Bella must have felt it too because I felt her knees give out slightly and I tightened my grip on her just to make sure she didn't fall. When we pulled back we just stared at each other. Neither of us seemed too sure of what to do next so I reached up and tucked a piece of her hair that had fallen loose behind her ear, and kissed the tip of her nose. Just as the New Years anthem, _Auld Lang Syne,_ ended, the DJ came on over the loud speaker.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, I would just like to wish all of you a Happy New Year on behalf of me and the entire staff of Eclipse. Now if I can have all you couples on the floor, we are about to slow things down with a very special song request. This song goes out to Edward and Isabella from your friends. They hope that this next year is filled with beautiful memories."_

The music started and Bella and I both looked at each other completely confused. We glanced over at where Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were dancing. They were all looking over at us smiling.

I glanced back at Bella. "Would you like to dance?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she said.

Bella and I moved slowly with the music. It was so nice to have her close to me. Her body felt so familiar, like it was meant to be wrapped in my arms. All of a sudden, I realized that I didn't need to rely on my brain to explain things to me. My body, my heart, had been telling me this whole time that I was falling in love with this woman. I had just been too wrapped up in everything that I hadn't let myself realize it. I squeezed her tightly to me, allowing my hands to rub her back.

I wasn't familiar with the song, but if I had to guess who it was I would say Leeann Rimes. It certainly sounded like her. I started paying attention to the lyrics and I really started to get choked up.

_Time, sometimes the time just slips away  
And your left with yesterday  
Left with the memories  
I, I'll always think of you and smile  
And be happy for the time  
I had you with me  
Though we go our separate ways  
I won't forget so don't forget  
the memories we've made_

__

Please remember, please remember  
I was there for you  
and you were there for me  
Please remember, our time together  
The time was yours and mine  
And we were wild and free  
Please remember, please remember me

Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say  
And it's sad to walk away  
with just the memories  
Who's to know what might have been  
We'll leave behind a life and time  
We'll never know again

_Please remember, please remember  
I was there for you  
and you were there for me  
And remember, Please remember me_

_Please remember, please remember_  
_I was there for you_  
_And you were there for me_  
_Please remember, our time together_  
_The time was yours and mine_  
_And we were wild and free_  
_Then remember, please remember me_

_And how we laughed and how we smiled_  
_And how this world was yours and mine_  
_and how no dream was out of reach_  
_I stood by you, you stood by me_  
_We took each day and made it shine_  
_We wrote our names across the sky_  
_We ran so fast, we ran so free_  
_I had you and you had me_

_Please remember, please remember_

I looked down and saw Bella's cheek pressed into my chest. I could tell she was crying, so I ran my hand up from her back and into her hair, massaging lightly to comfort her.

I rested my chin on top of her head as we continued dancing. All of a sudden, something in front of me caught my eye. A guy that was dancing with a girl had a metallic outline of a wolf on the back of his shirt.

_Holy shit!_ A vision of the other day when I was in Bella's bedroom flashed into my head. The stuffed wolf on her bed…I had won that for her on our first date. My mind began to race and I started getting flashes of different things over the past few days that I had said, completely unaware that I was even saying them, which were clear indications that my memory was coming back. I remembered the book Alice had given me the morning of our first date, and…damn…even this afternoon I had made a comment to Bella regarding her perfume, saying that I preferred the one she wore before Alice got her a new one while we were in Chicago. I remembered her perfume!

And Chicago…my god…I remembered back to that picture Alice had given to Bella for Christmas. We were definitely in Millennium Park, I knew that just from seeing the picture, but now that I thought about it, I definitely remembered asking Bella to be my girlfriend there.

Things were still fuzzy, but I was definitely remembering.

I pulled away from Bella and cupped my hands around her face excitedly, brushing the tears off her cheek. "Bella…I remember!"

"Actually, it's called _Please Remember._ I have this song on my iPod," she said.

"No…no…you're not understanding me. I'm not referring to the song." Before she could really process what I was saying, I grabbed her hand and raced us through the crowd, towards the front exit.

I looked back at her to make sure I wasn't pulling her too quickly because I knew she was wearing high heels. Her face had a look of pure confusion but she wasn't fighting me. She followed my lead with complete trust.

When we got outside, I turned to face her. "Bella, the other day in your room I mentioned something about the stuffed wolf on your bed. I said how I couldn't believe you still had it, but I definitely remember saying how I had won it for you on our first date. Did you not pick up on that, because I sure as hell didn't?"

Bella bit her lip and looked up at me. "I did notice."

"So why didn't you say anything?"

"I was afraid to get my hopes up…or yours. You didn't seem to notice that you said it, so I figured that maybe it was a fluke. I'm sorry…I shouldn't have done that."

"No, I completely understand. I did the same thing tonight when I remembered the book Alice made me before our first date to help me pick out something for us to do. I hadn't realized that I was remembering something until Jasper and Emmett pointed it out to me, but I told them not to say anything because, just like you, I thought it might be a fluke and I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up too high.

"I also remember saying something about your perfume today. I remembered that you were wearing the scent you used to wear when I first met you. Now that I think about it…is that why you stopped short and froze in the hallway?"

She looked down at her feet as if she were feeling guilty. "Yes, Edward, I noticed. Now I feel like such an ass for not saying anything."

I tilted her head up by her chin. "Bella…no sad faces. I don't blame you for being cautious, but Baby, I'm remembering things. I'm still fuzzy on specific details, but it is definitely coming back to me."

All of a sudden, Bella threw her arms around my shoulders. I knew she was holding back from squeezing me as tight as she really wanted too but she was being mindful of my broken ribs. She buried her face into my neck and started to cry.

"Oh god, Edward, you have no idea how happy this makes me. I have waited and waited for those words to leave your mouth. I knew you wanted to give it a go with me regardless of if you remembered things from our past, but it was just so hard for me to try and pack those memories away into a box in the attic of my mind. Every moment I have spent with you since the day we met is cherished, and it broke my heart to think that I had to be the sole owner of them since you could no longer share them with me."

I gently unwrapped Bella's arms from behind my neck and held them in my hands in between us. I rubbed my thumbs over her skin as I spoke.

"I am not going to lie to you…I don't know how long it will take me to remember everything, and there may even be some things that I never remember again; I just don't know for sure. But what I do know is that I will spend every day of the rest of my life, if necessary, working to get back as many of our memories as I can because I cherish them as well."

Not realizing it I had walked forward a few steps, and Bella was now leaning against the brick wall of the building.

"Bella," I said as I placed my hands on either side of her head. "I think I owe you a proper New Years Eve kiss."

Her breathing quickened as I stepped in closer, pressing my body flush with hers. I leaned in and crashed my lips to hers. It took no time at all for her mouth and body to respond. My tongue slipped into her mouth and she met mine with hers. Her hands ran up my chest before making their way into my hair where she griped it tightly.

After several minutes of kissing like caged animals who were finally set free from their captivity, we pulled out of the kiss, both of us panting heavily as our foreheads rested against each other.

After our bodies relaxed, I stepped back and held out my hand, which she accepted immediately.

"Would you like to get out of here?" I asked.

"Sure, but don't you think we should go back in and tell everyone that we are leaving? We also need to get our jackets," she reminded me.

"You are right," I told her. You go and say goodbye to everyone and I will go to coat check and get our coats. I will meet you back out here."

Ten minutes later, as I was leaning against the wall outside, Bella walked out to meet me. I held her coat up for her so she could put it on.

"What did you tell everyone?" I asked.

"I just told them that we both wanted to get out of here and I would talk to them all tomorrow. Short and sweet," she said with a smile. "So, where did you want to go?" she asked shyly as she looked up at me through her lashes.

I pulled her into me again and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "We are going home. I think it is high time that you and I become reacquainted."

Bella looked up at me with lust and desire in her eyes.

"Come on, Beautiful," I said to her, grabbing her hand and making my way over to the doorman, asking him if he could get us a cab. "I've missed you."

* * *

**~*~ So, was this chapter all you've hoped for? We hope so. We left you with a very good cliffie. We don't think you need to have it spelled out what will definitely be happening in the next chapter ;) **

**~*~ Please let us know what your thoughts. If you don't have a Twilighted account and would like to have a teaser sent to you, send us a PM and we will gladly give it to you. For everyone else, please come and chat with us on the WTS Twilighted thread. **

**~*~ We also want to thank our reader strippedfan. She posted the video for the song we used in this chapter, "Please Remember" by Leeann Rimes, on the WTS thread. She was our inspiration to use that song in this chapter. So thanks doll...muah! You can watch the youtube video using this link http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=_SYxRhc0pZ0&feature=player_embedded**

**~*~ Fic Recs~*~ (Tell them we sent you)**

**Pauline: I am really loving, **_**Mens Rea: A Guilty Mind**_** by: forbidden-fruit81. It's different than anything else I've read. It's a murder mystery that's so well written from a legal standpoint.**

**Holly: **_**The Delicate Dance of Marriage**_** by: funkydiva1978. I found this little treasure of a story a few days ago and I am gobbling it up. Edward and Bella are an estranged married couple separated by a misunderstanding…or did something really happen? This story has me thinking of so many crazy conspiracy theories as to who is trying to keep B x E apart and why?**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Surprise! Thought you would have to wait weeks, right? Nah, Pauline and I have learned our lesson, which is why we have worked our little fannies off for our fucking awesome readers! **

**~*~You are getting an extra little treat if you read our other story, _Beautiful Stranger_, because Pauline posted the next chapter tonight as well! If you aren't reading this story, please try it out. It's been getting a little hype lately, making us so proud.**

**~*~ Sweet Dulcinea is our beta and she gets major boob squeezes from us. Not only is she quick, but she sent back BOTH chapters at the same time. We love her so.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns…we all know that. **

**Okay…let's get these two back together! **

* * *

***BPOV***

The cab ride home was pretty quiet, both of us contemplative about what had just transpired. As the cabbie navigated through the city streets, Edward and I were fixated, never peeling our eyes away from one another. My thoughts were running wild as I replayed the last twenty minutes in my head. I couldn't believe that Edward had finally remembered our deep connection and what we meant to each other. A feeling of elation showered over me as I gazed into his beautiful green eyes, memorizing every feature of his face. I was bursting with such happiness that a smile was cemented on my face. Sure, he didn't remember everything, but Edward was beginning to and that was all I could ask for at this point in time. I had waited so long for Edward to remember something, any little tidbit in of our time together that would finally bring him back to me.

Once midnight rolled around, I had resolved to not let Edward's failed and cloudy memory break what we were starting to rebuild. I had resigned to the fact that I was going to have to start all over with him, but at least he wanted to be with me, and that thought was comforting and it's what kept me from falling apart as I watched my friends lip locked with their soul mates. I had to focus on the confetti falling above us in order to not cry from the fact that I wasn't going to get my steamy New Year's kiss.

Well, I got my New Year's kiss, a little later, mind you, and it was all I could ever ask for. The passion and intensity that erupted once our lips and tongues melted together made my entire body pulsate with desire. Just thinking about that kiss made it extremely difficult for me not to launch myself into his lap in the cab, so I contained my emotions and gripped on to his hand instead. Edward's thoughts must have mirrored my own as he graced me with the most gorgeous smile. Our hands remained interlocked the entire ride home and Edward would occasionally bring my hand to his lips so he could brush them against my knuckles softly.

I thought I was going to die of sexual starvation when Edward began running tiny wet kisses along the inside of my arm. I closed my eyes and reveled in this moment; still slightly hesitant that this wasn't going to last and that I was merely dreaming. I was waiting for this image to cloud over and eventually disappear into thin air. I gasped, my eyes flying open, when Edward's tongue peeked out to whisper _hello_ to the crook of my elbow. I thought I was going to melt and become part of my seat. My control was hanging on by a single tiny thread, and I believe my boyfriend knew that given the smug little smirk he flashed me when he lifted his head and was done paying homage to my skin.

_Ah, my boyfriend_.

It felt so fucking good to think that way about Edward again. Frankly, I had no idea when I would be able to admit again that he belonged to me. Now the million dollar question was did he want me to belong to him? God, I hoped so, but I wasn't going to dwell on that at this particular point in time. I was going to go with whatever was sizzling and crackling between us presently before I worried about our future.

A small part of my mind was still holding back, displaying caution because it was gearing up for the worst- that Edward would wake up tomorrow and not remember this even happening. I knew that sounded a bit far-fetched and neurotic, but can anyone honestly blame me? I had waited and been so patient for _my_ Edward to return and I was praying that I was going to be rewarded for mostly keeping my shit together during this trying time.

By the time we reached my apartment door, Edward had graduated to pulling my coat off and placing hot, feather light kisses against my shoulders, wrapping his good arm around me from behind while I desperately tried to open my door without fumbling with my keys. I couldn't help the tiny moan that escaped me when Edward nuzzled my neck and licked my earlobe.

_This man is going to kill me_.

Once we were inside my place, I took my coat from Edward and draped it over one of the kitchen chairs. I needed to keep moving because I was feeling frenzied and nervous, but I tried not to show it. I couldn't even look at him, knowing full well what was most likely going to happen. We were finally going to be intimate…and I was nervous as shit about it. You would think I was a virgin or something the way my heart was beating rapidly and how I was avoiding eye contact.

Edward was leaning against the counter in the kitchen and I could feel his stare following my every movement as I darted about turning on the living room lights. Finding some resolve, I made my way to where he was, deciding to lean against the breakfast counter opposite him. I stole a glance at Edward and saw he wore a familiar hungry expression across his face.

I cleared my throat in anticipation, as I folded my arms. "Um…do you want something to drink?"

"No," he responded, folding his arms, taking the same stance as mine.

"Do you want me to fix you something to eat? I noticed that you hardly ate at the club tonight, so I gather you are hungry," I rambled on, feeling like a complete fool. I felt my face heating up betraying me and giving away my nervousness. _Stupid blush_.

"No. I'm not hungry...for food, that is."

_Jesus Christ_.

Edward tried to hold in his smirk, but the tiny flare of his nose gave him away. He was highly amused with me and how I was acting.

"Ok. Well, do you want to watch some TV or something?" I had no fucking idea why I was stalling so much. I should have been lunging toward him, but my feet were glued to my spot. My legs felt so heavy and my pulse was beating in my ears. Why was this so hard for me? I had been with Edward before and hot damn, the sex was amazing, but I faltering now, trying to hold my emotions in.

Edward shook his head, his eyes boring into mine, stunning me into submission.

"So, what do you want?" My voice cracked a bit at that question.

Edward pushed himself off the counter and made it to me in two strides. Placing his hand on one side of me gripping the counter, half caging me, considering his other arm was in a sling. He leaned down and my heart rate sped up. "You," he whispered.

"Oh…really?" I breathed, returning the gaze he was giving me.

He nodded. "Yes, really."

Before I knew what was happening, Edward crushed his lips to mine. I wasted no time in opening my mouth to let his tongue mingle with mine. Instantly I moaned, feeling the vibrations in his mouth, as I unfolded my arms and let my hands rake through his hair. This made Edward grind into me and I could feel just how much he wanted me, which made my body ignite with longing and desire. I hitched my leg around his hip and Edward immediately grabbed my upper thigh, holding me in place.

I don't know how long we stood there tongue tied and lip locked, but I could feel my girly parts react in a delicious way. I wanted Edward…badly. I was convinced that I could most likely orgasm from kissing Edward alone. Oh, how I fucking loved kissing him. It was as though we knew what each other was going to do next the way our kisses went from frantic to slow and languid without any hesitation. I missed kissing Edward so much that I never realized just how desperate I was for this type of connection. It was like walking through the desert without water.

When we needed some air, Edward leaned his forehead against mine as our breaths were labored, causing our chests to rise and fall rapidly.

"God, I've wanted to do that to you in the worst way these last couple of days," Edward rasped.

"I've missed you so much, Edward. I mean, I knew that you were always here, but it felt like you weren't. Does that make any sense?" I leaned back to look him in the eye.

"Of course it does, Baby," he responded. "I always felt this strange pull toward you whenever we were in the same room. I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame and I was going out of my fucking mind trying to figure out what that meant. The clues were right here this whole time," Edward pointed at his heart, "but I was too wrapped up in myself to see what was clearly right in front of me."

Edward backed away from me slightly, causing my leg to fall. His head hung low as the words poured out of his mouth. "You must have hated me. I inadvertently pushed you away."

"Edward. Look at me." I cradled his face and angled it so he was looking into my eyes. "I could never hate you. Ever. I'm not going to lie, I was so damn frustrated that I had no control over this situation, but neither did you. We had no choice to be patient because if we weren't, than I don't know what would have happened between us. As it is, I still don't know what will happen or what the future holds," I said sadly.

_I love you, Edward, and would wait forever for you_. _I would give anything for you to feel the same way._

Edward grabbed my wrists firmly. "Bella, listen to me very carefully. I. Remember. You. I may not remember all the events that took place during our time together, but I am beginning to recall some important things.

"I know and I'm sorry. I guess I'm just being silly. I…I'm so nervous," I whispered.

"Please don't be. Everything's going to work out. I promise," Edward reassured me, taking my hand and leading me down the hallway to my room. "Come on, Baby, let's go get comfortable."

Edward sat at the edge of my bed and waited for me, taking off his shoes and loosening his tie, as I locked my bedroom door. I didn't want to chance Alice or Rosalie barging in to make sure I was okay and disturbing our reunion. My goodbye at the club was quick and I left my friends with questioning looks on their faces. Sure they knew I was leaving with Edward, but I didn't disclose what had taken place between us outside. I did have a smile on my face, so hopefully, they weren't worried or anything like that.

After slipping off my heels, I padded to my nightstand to light the candle that was sitting there. I wanted to create a calming mood, which was more for me than for Edward considering how flustered I still was. Upon switching off the main light, I turned around and to face Edward.

"Come here," he beckoned softly, extending his hand to me.

I responded right away by taking his hand and standing in front of him. Edward opened his legs and pulled me between them. Moving his hand to my hip, he started to rub soothing circles with his thumb along my bone. Even the simplest of touches was driving me crazy. It was at that moment I had realized just how much I truly needed Edward. I knew I could no longer live without him. I desperately wanted to admit to him that I loved him, and how I had whispered it into his ear before he woke in the hospital, but I figured the time wasn't right. Eventually, I would muster up the nerve to tell him again, but for now, I had to focus on what was about to happen between us now.

Edward tilted his head up and flashed me a breathtaking smile, while I leaned my head to one side and smiled back. He closed his eyes as I began threading my fingers through his thick hair, massaging his scalp the way he always liked.

"Mmm," he hummed. "You never fail to drive me crazy whenever you do that."

"Well, I love doing it to you. I enjoy watching the way you respond to me doing this," I said, giving his hair a gentle tug. It also didn't escape me that he _remembered_ me doing this to him and that thought made my heart swell.

Edward's eyes opened at my movements, but the smile was wiped from his face, leaving a grim frown in its wake.

"Edward, what's the matter?" I asked, my voice laced with concern. I was wondering what had changed in a matter of minutes for him to look so sad.

"God, Bella. I am so sorry," Edward sighed, burying his face in my stomach, his arm gripping me tightly around my waist.

"What? Edward, there's no reason for you to be sorry." I was beginning to worry why he was feeling this way.

_What I wouldn't give to be a mind reader right now._

He shook his head against me. "Yes, there is. How could I not remember being with you? How could I forget how much you mean to me?" Edward moved his head to meet my eyes and my heart dropped to my feet the way his face was contorting with such pain and agony.

"Oh, Baby, I can't believe that I asked for Tanya when I woke up, he continued. "The look on your face…I understand now that it was a look of hurt and pain. Oh my God, what must have run through your mind as I denied being your boyfriend and dismissed your crying."

Edward lowered his head again, turning away from me. It truly tore me apart watching him like this. It wasn't his fault and I had to make him believe that I wasn't upset with him.

Just as I was about to say something in response, Edward began speaking again, his head still turned in the other direction.

"Then what else do I do? I ask to see you only to inform you that I needed some space, some breathing room so I could try to think clearly about us. My mother and Alice begged me not to do it, but I didn't listen. I only thought of myself and how I was feeling, and I was feeling so fucking pressured, Bella. They had just informed me about Tanya, which I recalled right away. But when they tried to tell me about our relationship, my mind just flaked out on me, forbidding me to remember a fucking thing. You were there, comforting me while I said my final goodbye to Tanya, and I wasn't even there for you when you needed me the most. I couldn't because I didn't know. I'm so fucking selfish. I didn't stop to think how this was really affecting you. Instead, I took pity on myself, focusing on how I was affected by what happened. I don't deserve you," he finished forlornly, his voice laced with such despair. He was beating himself up too much for my liking.

Tears pricked my eyes at his admission. His pain was my pain. I had tried for three weeks to show that I was okay, that I was fine with being patient and waiting for Edward. The truth was that I obviously did a shitty job at hiding my true emotions because it didn't go unnoticed to Edward…fucked up brain and all. My mind was racing a mile a minute as I thought of what I could do or say to make him feel better.

I grabbed his face, forcing him to really look into my eyes. A tiny sob escaped me and the tears began to streak down my face when I noticed that Edward's eyes were red and glassy. He seemed so dazed, so haunted. This strong, self-assured man was starting to fall apart before my eyes and I couldn't take it any longer. This wasn't my Edward. I wasn't going to let him punish himself for something he felt at the time was right for him to do.

I needed to be closer to Edward so I could comfort him properly. He needed to understand once and for all that I was never angry at him. I let go of his face to climb onto his lap, straddling him and wrapping my arms around his neck. Edward's arm was limp around my waist, as though the life force was being sucked right out of him.

"Edward, you had absolutely no control over your injuries. How could you think you were being selfish? You were confused, at a loss of what to make of everything around you that you couldn't recall. I don't blame you for one damn second. Do you hear me? There's nothing to forgive you for. I was never angry with you; rather I was furious at the situation in which we were placed. And you do deserve me. _We_ deserve to be happy, Edward. We deserve each other," I finished, speaking softly and from the heart.

I wiped the tears from my face so we could move past this. We should be celebrating the fact that he found his way back to me, instead of dwelling on all the negativity that has swallowed us whole for too long.

My speech seemed to be getting through to him because he enveloped me in a warm embrace, his face in my neck.

"Bella, I am going to do right by you and make everything up to you, I swear. From the depths of my soul, you will be made aware of how much you mean to me," he breathed, sending shivers of electricity throughout my body, escalating my need for him.

Pulling back a bit, I lifted his chin. I closed the small gap between us and brushed my lips against his. Before he could attempt to deepen the kiss, I leaned back, pushing away from Edward. His face fell, but when I splashed a smile on my face, his expression relaxed a little. He gazed at me questioningly, most likely wondering why I had stopped our kiss.

"There's something _I've_ wanted to do to you for a while now," I whispered. Edward quirked an eyebrow in my direction but said nothing; staring at me in amazement. There was always a dull ache present whenever I was around Edward, especially in the hospital because I was never able to show him just how much I wished his pain away. I was never granted the opportunity to do this until now.

I reached for the inside of his broken wrist, still wrapped in a black cast, and touched my lips to it. Placing his hand back on my waist, I began to remove the sling that was holding his other arm in place. Once it was off, I dropped his sling to the floor, the clinking sound of the metal rings echoing around the room upon impact. I took off his tie and threw that over my shoulder, causing Edward to smirk.

As I swiftly unbuttoned his shirt, I never tore my eyes from Edward. I reveled from the feeling of the smooth skin of his broad shoulders as I ghosted my hands over them, letting the shirt fall away from his body. I traced my fingers over the pink scar by his collar bone. I ran circles with the tip of my finger over the puckered points where the stitches had closed his wound on either side. Edward let out a shaky breath as I ran my lips over the thin line while placing soft, wet kisses along it. I smiled, knowing that I was beginning to drive him wild with my tiny ministrations. His bulging erection pressing against my inner thigh was also a dead giveaway.

My mouth had a mind of its own as it traveled along his neck, stopping to nibble at his jaw. After one last suck, my lips whispered along the side of his face and reached its final destination- the tiny scar along the hairline above his temple. Closing my eyes, I brushed my lips back and forth along his healing cut.

What I was doing wasn't meant to be an act of seduction, but it was quickly turning into that as I moved slightly to my left, allowing my center to meet up with her very aroused and very hard friend. Edward held me tighter as he enjoyed this new positioning and he moved his face so he could look at me.

"That was the single most erotic thing you have ever done to me. You definitely know what you're doing," Edward quipped. The air seemed to be lighter around us and I couldn't be happier. His mood was brightening, the spark starting to twinkle in his eyes once again.

"Well, I could never kiss your injuries until now, and you have no idea how I long I've wanted to do that. All I ever wanted to do was to take the pain away from you, for you to feel that I was here for you in every way."

Our faces were so close to one another; our noses were nearly touching. We were encased in a bubble of sexual tension, which was about to burst if something didn't happen soon. My body, wanting to speed things along, deciding it had enough, started moving ever so slightly. Swiveling my hips so I could get some much needed friction between my legs, I locked my hand around his neck and leaned in to drag my tongue along the length of his lips.

Edward let out the sexiest groan, as his hands reached up and grabbed the hair at the nape of my neck while he covered my mouth with his. It didn't take long for Edward to move his hips in time with mine, increasing the pressure for the both of us. My breasts were brushing along his chest, creating the perfect amount of stimulation, and the need for Edward to be inside me was causing that familiar tightening in my belly.

As if he could tell what I was thinking, Edward began to unclasp the halter top, allowing the straps to fall off either shoulder. I hitched my breath when he pulled the dress down lower, to reveal my breasts. Edward's eyes widened at the revelation that I wasn't wearing a bra.

"Fucking beautiful," he whispered as his hands went to cup them and give them a gentle squeeze. I lost all coherent thoughts when Edward leaned in to have a little taste, flicking his tongue against my nipple. I couldn't help the shudder that wracked my body. It felt so damn fabulous for Edward to be touching, licking, and sucking me once again. However, I still wanted more…I needed so much more.

My hands traveled down his scrumptious torso remembering every inch, every curve of his abs. My finger circled his navel a few times before I worked up the nerve to unbutton his pants. On instinct, Edward pulled away and fell to his elbows, so he could grant me access to unzip and take off the rest of his clothing.

"Ow…fuck!" Edward growled, shooting up, his hand covering his healing collarbone. "I got so caught up in the moment, I forgot that I'm a fucking gimp who can't hardly do shit." He shook his head.

I covered my mouth in shock. "Oh my gosh! I am so sorry. It's my fault. I should have been more careful. Are you in a lot of pain?"

"No, it was one of those sharp shooting ones that went just as quickly as it came, but that motherfucker hurt."

I hated that he was in pain, but he looked so adorable the way his face was scrunched like a petulant little boy who just got punched in the shoulder.

I felt his cock twitch a little when I moved, reminding me what we were en route to doing before we were interrupted. A giggle escaped my mouth before I could hold it in.

"Aw, come here, babe. Let me kiss it better," I cooed, knowing that Edward loved the attention I was giving him. I slid closer and peppered little kisses along his scar while my hands roamed freely along his shoulders and biceps.

"Mmm, you think this is funny- me being in a little pain? Are you getting a little pleasure out of the fact that I am not able to maneuver the way I would like? Well, just you wait until I'm all healed and rearing to go," he warned, a devious lopsided smile coming into view. His mouth came right next to my ear, "because you, my beautiful Bella are going to experience the most pleasurable pain there is, and you're not going to know what's hit you." He waggled his eyebrows for good measure.

"Edward, you can't say things like that to me, especially since you are injured like this, honestly," I half moaned and groaned. I loved when Edward took control of me sexually. Not that I minded being in control or anything. I do like to be on top once in a while and take charge, but there was something so primal and animalistic the way Edward took the reins of our pleasure his way, using my body like an artist uses his canvas.

My thoughts were jumbled, the heat radiating off my body. I was ready to combust at that moment.

"I get…I'm just…oh fuck it! Edward, I want you…please?" I ended my rant sweetly, batting my eyelashes ever so slightly. My panties were soaked. I was simmering…screw foreplay.

Edward's face showed perfect composure as he nudged my hips with his hands. "Get up, Baby."

I readily obliged, anticipating his next course of action. Slowly, I peeled myself from his form, immediately missing the heat his body was encasing me with.

Edward stood up, pulling my hands to bring me closer to him. His fingers whispered against my skin, tracing my collarbone. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, enjoying the feel of his slight touch.

Moments later, I was raising my arms above my head so Edward could take my dress off in one swift motion. As I stood before him in nothing but a lacey black thong, I felt so exposed, so vulnerable. Never breaking eye contact with Edward, I slowly took off my thong, dropping it onto the floor next to my dress. The air had shifted once again between us, and gone was the playful banter between us. I was back to being extremely shy and nervous, covering my breasts by crossing my arms. It was like I wasn't sure what to do next.

"Don't," he commanded softly, unclasping my arms so he could assess my body. "You are so beautiful, Bella," Edward said, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

I leaned into his hand. "Thank you. So are you."

Edward smiled as I reached out to push some of his hair back that had fallen to his forehead. Standing on my toes, I placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

Edward moved his lips along my neck while his hands glided along my back, the gesture causing goose bumps to sprout on my skin. My hands made their way down to his zipper as I began to remove his pants and boxers. Edward stood there all god-like and perfect while I raked my eyes over his form. Starting from his shoulders, I led my fingers down his chest, over his abs, tracing the '_V_' of his hips, and ended at the tip of his erection. Edward let out a deep moan, closing his eyes while I allowed my hand to pump up and down his silky-smooth, hardened shaft.

Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed me with such enthusiasm, his hands everywhere from my neck, to my back, to my breasts, right down to the throbbing ache between my thighs. My hips instantly bucked when Edward slipped a finger inside me, moving in and out as though he was never gone in the first place, never forgetting how easily my body responded to him.

"God, Baby, you are so wet for me," Edward rasped, sliding a second finger inside me, sucking on the crook of my neck.

"Always for you, Edward," I moaned, my nerves all but eradicated because of Edward's ministrations. My hand moved faster, my thumb catching the pre-cum that was beginning to ooze out of his cock.

I decided that it was time, so I led Edward to the bed, allowing him to sit back against the headboard. Given the nature of his injuries, I knew that I was going to have to be on top. Otherwise, Edward would have to use his arms to hold himself up, and that just wasn't an option at the moment.

"Wait," he started, a confused look splashed on his face. "Um, I'm so sorry that I don't recall, but do I wear condoms with you or…"

I smiled, not upset at all that he didn't remember our form of contraception. Hey, at least he was still trying to play it safe.

"Actually, I'm on the pill. So, there's no need for any barriers between us…unless you want there to be?" I hesitated because I didn't want to assume Edward would want to pick up where we left off and ride bareback with me.

"What? Are you crazy? Bella, it's been way too fucking long since I've been inside you. I don't want anything between us, Baby," Edward explained, beckoning me over with the wave of his hand.

"Alright," I said shyly, smiling down at him.

Moving to straddle Edward, I held onto his shoulders and kissed him with all the passion I had stored away for three weeks. I started to rub myself on him, and Edward quickly followed suit, giving me the much needed friction I craved by gaining some momentum of his own. Edward placed his hands on my hips, and that was all the coaxing I needed to move to the next level.

I pulled my head back to capture Edward's eyes with mine. I gazed at his gorgeous face as lifted my hips and slowly lowered myself, loving being filled by him, adjusting to the familiar, yet slightly foreign feeling of Edward. I could tell he was struggling to keep his eyes open, being that they were actually fluttering, while his breathing sped up and his mouth opened.

_God, he has such a hot sex face_.

Once I was fully sheathed, engulfing all of Edward, I moved my hips up until he was almost out of me, then I slowly glided myself back home on his lap. We both moaned in unison, Edward's head hitting the backboard while my head dropped forward. Nothing would ever beat the pleasurable feeling of having Edward inside me. I wish we could have stayed like this forever.

When I shifted up and down again, Edward sat up, fisted my hair and planted a searing kiss on my lips. I licked and sucked his bottom lip into my mouth while he assaulted my upper lip. Our kisses were filled with the lust and desire we had both locked away for three agonizingly long weeks. Our tongues were either battling for dominance or giving into one another by moving tantalizingly slow, peaking out to tease one another. Our breathing became one as our mouths, wet and open, invited the short gusts of wind we were panting into each other.

I shivered as Edward darted his tongue out and licked a trail of fire from my throat to my chin. I lovingly retaliated by threading my fingers through his hair, pulling it from the roots, hard, the way he always loved it. I was rewarded with a hard thrust from Edward, pushing himself deeper inside me. I moaned wantonly as I leaned back and gripped his thighs to welcome the new angle, relishing how it deepened our connection so much that I was almost ready to explode all over him the way my lower region was tingling and throbbing.

"Jesus, Bella. You feel so fucking good," Edward grunted with a thrust of his hips to accentuate the point.

"Oh…Edward, I've missed you so much. It's been too long. This feels amazing, like a dream or something. I'm scared that I'm going to wake up and you'll be gone." I sat up to wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my forehead against his.

"I'm not going anywhere, Baby. You won't have to worry because I'll never leave you again. Never."

With those words, we clutched onto each other, moved and bucked our hips as though our lives depended on it, and in some way, it did. It really did feel like Edward left me after the accident. I was nothing but a shell of myself waiting for my Edward to return. Now that he had come back, I never intended to let him go. I would tell him I loved him, like in the hospital, except this time he would be able to hear me. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't want to say it for the first time while having sex.

When Edward reached down and circled my clit, the throbbing turned into pulsating and the pulsating turned into a frantic explosion; my body drenched in sweat.

"That's it, Bella. Let go, Beautiful," Edward rasped, his own release imminent by the way his ragged breathes were causing his chest to rapidly rise and fall.

So, I did. I let all the tension, sadness, and frustration of these past weeks rush out with my orgasm. I was left floating on a fluffy cloud of Edward, and I couldn't be happier.

Edward's pace increased and I knew that he was close. I put my mouth to his ear, sucked on his ear lobe and whispered, "Come for me, Edward. I want to feel you let go inside me."

That was all it took for Edward to fall apart and reach his climax. He let out a long moan and leaned his forehead against mine. Once our breathing began to return to normal, our lips met briefly. It was gentle and sweet, just like how this whole experience tonight was. Yes, at times we were hurried and hungered for one another, but there was an underlying tone of longing, of connection. This wasn't a quick fuck. We had slowed our pace and taken our time to reacquaint ourselves with one another. I didn't take long for it to click in my head what we had just done.

Edward and I had made love.

It was perfect mix of steamy and sweet. It was amazing, which was why I couldn't remove the huge grin on my face. I think it also had to do with the fact that I was drunk on Edward's cock. It definitely put a delicious spell over me, and I would have been happy to have another hit of Edward if I wasn't so damn spent.

"What?" Edward laughed, surveying the goofy smile on my face. He pushed back the hair that was sticking to the side of my sweaty face so he could see me.

"Nothing," I responded, moving slowly off him so I could lie down. He hissed at the separation. I didn't like it either. "I'm just happy, that's all."

"Yeah? Well, me too. But I'm also fucking tired as all hell. Damn, woman, you gave me a real workout," he chuckled deeply, poking me in the ribs. He slid down and pulled me so my head was resting on his chest, his arms encircling me protectively.

Minutes later, I fell asleep to the soothing rhythm of Edward's heart beat.

***~*~***

I awoke to the sun peering through my blinds in streaks, hitting my face. Stretching like a cat, it felt as though my whole body was like Jell-O. Turning to my side, I reached my arms out expecting to find Edward so I could snuggle up to him, but came up empty. The other side of the bed was cold and deserted. I shot up, gripping the sheet around me, and looked around my room. I saw that my dress and thong were on the floor, but Edward's clothes and sling were nowhere to be found. Dread and disappointment coursed throughout me as I began to believe that the previous night was nothing but a figment of my overactive imagination.

"It couldn't have been a dream," I said to myself, the panic building within me. I was so nervous that last night didn't actually happen and that I probably just had sex with myself that a few tears tricked down my face.

Just as I was sniffling and wiping my nose, my door opened and Edward came sauntering in wearing a t-shirt and athletic shorts. I noticed right away he wasn't wearing his sling. I quickly turned away to erase the tears that refused to leave off my cheeks.

"Bella?" I heard Edward question with concern. "Baby, what's wrong?" He rushed over to the bed and sat down to face me.

"Nothing," I shrugged, hanging my head down in embarrassment.

Edward wasn't buying that the way he lifted my chin and forced me to meet his gaze. "You've been crying? Why?" Edward pressed softly.

"Promise not to laugh?"

He nodded.

I sighed. "I woke up and you weren't here. I…I thought I had dreamt what happened last night and well…I…oh god, I don't know," I stammered, not really wanting to divulge everything. I was being paranoid, I knew that.

"Come here," Edward said softly, pulling me into a warm embrace. I nuzzled my way into the crook of his neck, soaking in the essence of my Edward.

"You thought I wouldn't remember, didn't you?" Edward continued.

"Yes, I know it seems silly, but I was so scared when I felt your side of the bed and fell short. It was so cold and I was alone," I breathed into his neck.

"Silly, beautiful girl," he chuckled. He pulled back slightly so he could capture my stare. "I recall everything, Baby. I have been replaying last night over and over again, which is why I didn't get much sleep. I was too busy watching you sleep and holding you close to me. I woke up a couple of hours ago, wanting to cook you some breakfast. You were so peaceful; I didn't want to wake you. So I slipped away for a bit and went back to my place to try to shower."

"It's okay. I know I was overreacting. Last night meant the world to me and just the thought of it never really happening…well, that devastated me," I admitted wanting Edward to know my true feelings.

"Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry that I scared you," Edward responded, hugging me tighter so that I melted into his muscular form. "I meant every word I said last night. I'm never letting you go, Beautiful. You're stuck with me."

Those words were music to my ears, comforting me like a warm blanket. I would gladly be stuck with Edward. New Year's couldn't have been a more fitting time for Edward to feel our connection. It was like we were given a second chance even after a few pitfalls in the road. I was ready to embrace the New Year, focusing on what was really important in my life…of which Edward was the most instrumental part. He would be until the day I die.

His clean, fresh scent brought me from my reverie. "Wait a minute," I started, my face scrunching up in thought. "You showered? But…I wanted to shower with you," I pulled away, jutting my lower lip out.

"Well, Bella, that could definitely be arranged," he whispered, leaning in close to my ear. "I'm sure…no scratch that…I am positive there will be many more opportunities for me, or rather, for _us_ to get dirty again. So, you'll get your wish," Edward quipped, crooked smile in place. "Hey, I meant what I said, though," his voice taking a serious tone. "I remember every part of last night, and I plan on reenacting certain parts over and over again."

_Jesus, what this guy does to me. _

I wanted nothing more than to start replaying some of those heavenly delicious events, which was why I fisted his shirt and sought out his lips to devour them. Morning breath be damned!

Just when I was on my knees about to straddle him, Edward nudged me, his fingers pressing into my shoulders.

"Shit, Bella. I want you so fucking badly right now, especially since you are naked with just a flimsy little sheet covering you. Great, now I have a boner like the size of the damn Washington Monument," Edward groaned, getting off the bed to adjust himself.

_Oh how I want that boner in my mouth in the worst way! _What the hell was wrong with me? One night of sex after three long weeks turned me into some perverted sex maniac. I briefly thought of distracting him, blocking him from what he was going to say next by possibly yanking down his shorts and engulfing his cock and licking and sucking as if my welfare depended on it.

_And…now I'm wet._

"But," Edward started, breaking me from my crazed sex fog, "our friends are outside and would like to eat some grub with us."

"Oh…well, that sucks," I grumbled. Crossing my arms in protest.

_Clitblocking friends._ Didn't they know Edward and I had a _lot_ of reunion sex to cover?

Edward was smirking. His ego loved every minute of this. Walking toward the door to exit my room, he stole a glance at me over his shoulder. "Put on some clothes, Beautiful, preferably _my_ t-shirt, and join us for a feast in the kitchen."

**~*~**

I emerged from the bathroom, after putting on my 'Cullen' shirt and a pair of yoga pants, to find Alice and Rosalie sitting on stools by the counter while the men doted on them. Emmett was removing biscuits from the oven, a dishtowel draped over his shoulder, while Jasper poured coffee into their empty mugs. Edward was whisking eggs in a large bowl, his back facing me, talking animatedly with the guys about sports.

It was so refreshing to see and hear Edward laughing, like he used to. It seemed as though our sweet lovemaking had popped the thick bubble of agony and tension we were trapped under for what seemed like forever. I briefly wondered if anyone guessed why Edward's mood shifted so dramatically. Did they know we spent the night together? Maybe Edward told them, not that I cared or anything. I would have gladly tattooed on my forehead 'Freshly Fucked by Edward Cullen and Proud of It.'

"Bella! You're up!" Alice sang, a little too cheery for someone who drank what seemed to be a whole bottle of vodka the night before. How was it that she was rarely affected by alcohol?

"Hey Bells," Rosalie drawled lethargically, covering a yawn with her hands.

"Morning," I waved. "Hey, Jas, can I trouble you for some coffee?" I took a seat next to Rose, who placed her head on my shoulder.

"Good God, Emmett, what the hell did you do to our dear Rosalie here? She's practically lifeless," Jasper snickered. "From the sounds that were penetrating through the walls last night, it seemed as though Rose was calling the shots, but I guess you were the one to wear her out." Everyone cracked up at that, including Rosalie.

"Well, we didn't hear Jasper complain when Little Miss Pixie here demanded you two have shower sex at four o'clock this morning," Emmett pointed in Alice's direction with one hand and slapping Jasper on his shoulder with the other.

"What can I say? Vodka makes me horny," Alice smiled and shrugged. "I'm not sorry for wanting to ravish my boyfriend, but I am sorry if you heard anything, my dear cousin," she said, looking at Edward.

Turning off the stove, Edward moved the big pan of scrambled eggs from the heat and rested it on a hot plate on the counter.

"Oh, no worries, Pix. I didn't spend the night in my room," Edward replied nonchalantly, moving to the sink to wash his hands. When he was done, he took the dish towel from Emmett's shoulder and wiped his hands, all the while, smiling at me. An embarrassed flush exploded within me, staining my cheeks, no doubt. I knew it was only a matter of minutes, seconds even, before it clicked into someone's head that Edward was with me last night.

"Really? Then where were you?" Jasper asked, a confused expression on his face.

"Uh, I was down here."

"You slept in my room?" Alice asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"No."

"The couch?"

"Nope," he responded, winking at me in the process. I couldn't believe Alice was being so dense. For someone who thinks they had a pretty good grasp at predicting future events, Alice was being a bit dim witted.

I nudged Rose's head, causing her to sit up so I could get some orange juice from the fridge. Chuckling to myself, I realized I had discovered that Alice's kryptonite was vodka. It made her stupid.

I had to pass by Edward to get to the cabinet that housed the glasses, but he was making it difficult for me to get by, wedging me between the counter and himself. It took every little fiber of control I had left in me to stop from demanding that he take me over the counter while our friends observed us. Edward knew exactly what he was doing by the way he smirked and leaned in, pressing his lips against the ticklish spot below my ear and giving it a little nibble. I gasped, which didn't go unnoticed by some people in the room, considering they were looking at the precarious position Edward had placed us in.

"Holy shit!" Emmett grinned.

"Well, I'll be damned," Jasper chuckled.

Rose shot up in her seat, her palms slamming down on the counter causing the silverware to rattle. "Pay up, Alice!"

Alice looked up from the magazine she was reading. "Huh? Pay up…for what?"

"Because Edward and Bella have been reacquainted, that's why," Emmett bellowed before stuffing his face with a biscuit.

Alice was still in a cloud of confusion. Edward obviously spotted that because he placed me so that my back was against his chest. He snaked his arms from behind and clasped his hands by my stomach. I responded immediately by running my fingers along his forearms. The short breaths from his nose were tickling my neck, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"Let me put it this way, Alice. Your showering services are no longer needed," Edward stated, his lips smacking against my cheek to give me a sloppy, wet kissed. The feeling made me giggle.

The look on Alice's face was priceless. Her eyes bugged out of her head and her mouth kept on opening and closing like a fish out of water. Finally, it was registering what she clearly hadn't noticed before.

"Oh my god! This is amazing, you too! I can't believe I didn't catch that. Rose had bet me that you two were going to wind up tangled in the sheets, but I thought for sure that you two went your separate ways after taking the cab home. Wow, I've never been happier to be so way off base." Alice jumped off her seat and bounded into me and Edward, trying to wrap her tiny arms around the both of us. "I knew you two would find your way back to one another," she praised into my hair, her voice muffled.

We all laughed. "Thanks, cuz," Edward said genuinely. Alice broke apart from us to flash us a warm smile.

"Well, slap a bra and panties on me and call me a dirty whore. I never thought I'd live to see the day that someone bet _against_ Alice…and won! This is fucking classic! That's my Rosie, always taking a risk," Emmett walked over to where his fiancé was sitting and seared her lips with a kiss. "So what'd you win, Baby?"

"Fifty bucks and I get to wear a dress of my choosing from her new spring collection that hasn't even come out yet," Rosalie boasted, winking at me.

"I cannot believe you two bet on my sex life. That's just wrong on so many levels. Why you were even thinking about me and Edward like that is beyond me. But…I have to say that I'm glad you were right, Rosalie," I ended softly, turning my head a little to place a chaste kiss on the angular curve of Edward's jaw.

Edward let out a tiny groan, so low that only I could hear. He cleared his throat. "Um, if you'll excuse us, Bella and I will be having a late breakfast…or lunch…who knows. You all enjoy the spread here, while I'll be enjoying my spread in there," Edward announced, taking my hand and dragging me down the hall to my bedroom.

"Edward!" I giggled. "Oh my lord, that was way too much information for them," I said, the booming laughter from my friends behind me. I knew they were happy for us and secretly, I loved the fact that Edward had no qualms in announcing that he was basically going to eat me for breakfast.

_At least, I hope he does._ Oh, the possibilities were endless and I was more than overjoyed to explore such opportunities.

The rest of the weekend was spent either in my bed or Edward's bed. We did resurface and socialize with everyone once when I had to do my laundry. I had work coming up on Monday and I needed to make sure I had my wardrobe ready. Alice was holed up with Jasper in his room, while Rose and Emmett spent some quality time with one another in Rose's condo. I think they were going to begin discussing when Emmett would finally move in there.

The week dragged on, as it took until Wednesday for my students and myself, for that matter, to adjust to our regular daily routines. Every afternoon was filled with spending time with Edward. He was certainly spoiling me with all the dinners he was making, refusing my help whenever I had asked.

Edward and Emmett were slated to return to the fire house to desk duty the following week. They were informed that they would be working the same shift, which was the daytime, so I was thankful for that. It would be as though Edward had a regular nine to five job. I knew that wasn't going to last long, and I was still extremely apprehensive about both of them returning to the line of duty and fighting fires. I tried not to dwell on it or bring the matter up with them, especially Edward, because we had already lost so much time being together due to his memory loss. Every moment I spent with him from now on would be cherished and not taken for granted. We were looking ahead toward the future, which right now, looked wonderfully promising.

When Friday finally rolled around, I was excited at the prospect of another weekend with my luscious boyfriend camped out in one of our rooms. I was getting greedy and wanted Edward all to myself. No one really blamed me as they were well aware of all the time we needed to make up in the bed department, so our friends left us alone. They understood the situation and we would have done the same thing if it happened to them.

As I was exiting the school building, I recognized the familiar silver Volvo parked out front. Jasper usually drove me home, but he had a meeting with a parent, and I was all bundled up ready to walk home. Seeing Edward parked out front was a welcomed surprise. A huge smile spread across my face as I walked up to his window.

"Hey there, Gorgeous. Wanna ride?" He smiled his breathtaking lopsided grin.

I leaned on his open window, resting my forearms against it. Tilting my head toward his ear, I breathed suggestively, "From you…anytime."

"Mmm, get in, Beautiful," he commanded.

_Yes, sir_.

I put my work bag on the floor behind my seat, noticing two packed duffle bags resting on the leather seats, one of them being mine.

"Um, is that my bag there?" I asked, cocking my eyebrow in his direction.

"Yup," he said, accentuating the 'p' at the end. He was trying to show no emotion as he stared at the road before him, his hands casually gripping the wheel, but the slight nostril flare gave him away.

"Well, why do you have it?"

He turned his head briefly to flash me a wide grin. "Uh, Uh. I'm not telling. Just sit back and relax, Beautiful. You can even rest your eyes for a while. You're mine and I'm kidnapping you for the weekend."

* * *

**Phew…We don't know about you, but we could use a little ciggie right now. We hope you like it. Reviews are just as awesome as Bella and Edward's reunion lovemaking! So please let us know what you think ;)**

**So, any ideas as to what our hunky fireman has in store for our favorite teacher? We would love to hear your suggestions/predictions!**

**~*~One of our amazing readers TG10781 started writing her own fic. ****It is called, _An _**_**Angel **_**_Closes Her Eyes_. She just posted the first chapter today, so go and alert it, read it, and then review it. It's hard putting your shit out there for all to read, so please support our friend.  
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	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hello all! Happy Friday to you! As always we have to thank our beta SweetDulcinea. This is the second time in a row she got both, WTS & BS, chapters back to us in the same day. She rocks hard core! Check out our profile page for her link…her stories are amazing. I'm gonna shut it now because I know all you pervs are ready to get to the smut…so who am I to keep it from you. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, and I think she would blush if she saw what I was about to have her characters do with each other. Just sayin'.**

* * *

***EPOV***

I pulled away from the school and gave a slight grin as I saw Bella's confused look out of the corner of my eye.

"You're really not going to tell me where we're going?" she asked while she jokingly crossed her arms across her chest and huffed.

"Nope," I laughed. "Just let me surprise you."

"I've had enough _surprises _over the last month to hold me over for quite a while," she responded with a laugh.

"Yes, but _this_ is a good one. I promise."

"Okay," she said, giving up, as she leaned over and started to play with the radio.

"Hey!" she said suddenly. "Are you supposed to be driving?"

"I had an appointment with my doctor this morning and he said that as long as my collar bone was feeling okay, and my sprained ankle isn't on my driving foot, he didn't see any reason I couldn't as long as I wasn't driving too far."

"So we aren't going too far, huh?" she asked, trying her best to seem nonchalant.

I quirked my eyebrow at her. "Isabella, would you stop trying to figure out where we are going?" I laughed. "But to answer your question…no, we aren't going too far."

She smiled at me and then leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes.

About an hour later we pulled up a long gravel driveway before coming to a stop. I shut the car off and unbuckled my seatbelt before leaning over and running my hand along Bella's face.

"Bella, wake up, we're here," I said softly.

Her eyes fluttered open and she gazed at me while a sleepy smile spread across her face.

"Hi sleepyhead," I said to her as I continued to caress the side of her face.

"Hi," she replied back. "Sorry I fell asleep."

"That's okay, Beautiful. I need you well rested for tonight," I said flirtatiously.

All of a sudden she sat straight up. "Wait, where are we?" she asked as she looked around, taking in our surroundings.

"One of the guys I work with loaned us his lake house for the weekend. I thought it would be nice to get away from the city and spend a nice, quiet weekend with you."

She turned her gaze back to me and reached her hands out to hold mine. "That sounds like the most amazing idea I have heard in a long time," she breathed out.

I leaned in and kissed her but pulled back after a moment. "Good! Let's get inside though. It's freaking freezing out here."

She just laughed at me but nodded her head in agreement. We both got out of the car and made our way toward the house. There was snow on the ground, but the driveway and stairs up to the front door had been cleared, so we were able to make our way easily.

The house wasn't huge, but it looked fairly new. It was two stories and made out of those rounded logs. Once I unlocked the door, we walked in and took a look around.

"This place is so charming," Bella admired.

I had to agree. The ground floor was one big open room. It consisted of a living room with cozy, oversized couches set atop a big fluffy area rug that faced a fireplace that was made out of stone. The back side of the room held the kitchen and eating area as well as floor to ceiling windows. There was a sliding glass door that led out onto a small deck, where there was a beautiful view of the lake.

Bella walked over to the windows and looked out at the scenery. "This view is breathtaking," she said.

I walked behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder. We stood there silently for a moment just taking it all in. You could see down by the water was a dock. There was no boat, but I knew the guy, Jeff, who I worked with, the one who had loaned us his house, had one. He stores it out of the water for the winter.

"I'll have to ask to borrow this house again once the spring or summer comes. We could take a boat out onto the lake."

Bella turned her head to look at me. "I would like that," she whispered.

I leaned down and brushed my lips across hers. I pulled back and took her hand in mine. "Come on, let's take a look upstairs," I said as I gently pulled her toward the stairs.

We walked upstairs and found a smaller bedroom with two double beds that was located at the front of the house. There was a large bathroom at the end of the hall with a Jacuzzi tub and a small shower. It had another door on the opposite wall that lead into the master bedroom. It had the same floor to ceiling windows looking out to the lake. The bed had four large posts and was covered with a white down comforter and four big fluffy pillows. There was a large mahogany dresser against the wall and a flat screen TV hanging on the wall across from the bed.

I didn't know Jeff too well, but I had to assume he was married because let's face it…this place was way too well decorated for it to be Jeff's doing. If he were a bachelor there would probably be a futon couch downstairs and the bed up here would be made up with one of those comforter sets you buy at Walmart…you know…bed in a bag.

"Get yourself settled in," I told her. "I'm going to run out to the car to get our bags."

"I'm coming to help," she responded. "I'm glad you are doing better, but you still have a cast on your wrist and your body is still healing. I don't want you to overexert yourself just because you are a dude and are too proud to ask for help."

She went to walk by me, but I reached out my good arm and grabbed her around her waist , pulling her body into mine so that her back was pressed against my chest. I brought my lips down to her ear so I could whisper to her. "I'll let you help bring in the bags, Beautiful, but I can't promise that I'm not going to overexert myself this weekend. But trust me…I will be asking you for lots of help."

I felt her knees give out slightly, and a moan escaped her mouth before she regained her composure and ground her ass into my dick.

"Well you know me," she said seductively, "I am always willing to help."

Now it was my turn to moan. I leaned down and kissed her neck.

"Bags, let's go get those damn bags," I said as I started pushing her towards the door, "or else we are never going to get them."

She just laughed and made her way down the steps as I followed.

When we got out to the car, I grabbed the two bags out of the back seat and then popped the trunk open.

"What's back here?" she asked as we both walked to the back of the car.

"A cooler," I answered as I put my bag over my shoulder, handed her duffle bag to her, and picked the cooler up.

"What do you have in it?"

"Food," I said with a smirk.

"No shit, smart ass," she laughed.

"I'm making you dinner tonight," I said as we made our way into the house.

"You are? Well what can I do to help?"

"Nothing. In fact, why don't you go upstairs and take a nice hot bath? I'll call you when dinner is ready," I told her.

I put the cooler down on the kitchen table and dropped the bag on my shoulder to the floor.

"But I want you to join me in the bath," she purred as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

I engulfed her in my arms and pulled her tightly into me. "Baby, I will definitely be joining you in that tub this weekend, but right now I want to prepare a beautiful evening for you."

She jutted out her bottom lip into a pout. "Well pooh to you, but okay." She bent down and picked up my bag from the floor beside me. "I'll bring these upstairs," she said. "Who packed my bag, by the way?"

"Alice did," I replied. "I told her where we were going so you wouldn't end up getting here and have nothing to wear besides evening gowns, and she left it in my apartment while I was at my doctor appointment."

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll be upstairs in that great big old tub, all by my lonesome self if you need me," she said as she headed up the stairs.

I laughed. "I'll call you when dinner is ready, and don't have too much fun up there without me."

"I wouldn't dream of it," she said before she disappeared.

I quickly got to work. I was going to make her a spaghetti dinner. I had made my own sauce at home, courtesy of my mom's recipe, and packed it up in a Tupperware container. I found a pot and poured the sauce in it so I could heat it up. I filled another big pot with water and put it on to boil. I then grabbed the loaf of Italian bread I brought, cut it, put some butter and garlic on it, and popped it into the oven.

Once the food was taken care of, I quickly set the table and then got to work at preparing the _ambiance._ I walked over to the living room area and pushed the coffee table up against a wall to get it out of the way. I grabbed a blanket that I had brought and spread it out over the area rug and pulled the throw pillows off the couch so they were scattered about around the floor.

Once I was done, I quickly finished dinner and put it out onto the table before running outside to gather some firewood. When I walked back in with the wood, I yelled up to Bella to tell her that I was ready whenever she was.

"I'll be right down," she called back.

I squatted down in front of the fireplace and started to build the fire up.

"Is it wrong that I think it is sexy seeing _my_ fireman starting a fire as opposed to putting one out?" I heard Bella say from behind me.

I smiled and turned to look over my shoulder. What I saw nearly caused me to fall into the fireplace. Bella was standing on the staircase wearing a short, dark blue satin robe that tied in the front. My mind raced, imagining what was underneath. Her hair was down, flowing softly over her shoulders.

I turned back quickly to close the fireplace screens before standing up and turning to face her. We both stood in place staring at each other for a moment.

"Bella, you look stunning."

Her cheeks flushed slightly as she smiled back at me.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I walked across the room towards her and held out my hand, which she accepted. I pulled her down the last two steps and into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and just held her close to me while I buried my face in her hair.

She rubbed her hands up and down my back and we just hugged in silence for several minutes.

"Something smells wonderful," she said.

"Oh, dinner," I responded.

I took her hand, leading us towards the table. I pulled her chair out for her and she sat down. I quickly lit the candles on the table and then grabbed her plate.

"I hope you like spaghetti and garlic bread. I made the sauce myself."

"It smells delicious and looks amazing," she responded as I served her a helping.

"Would you like some wine?" I asked.

"Please," she responded.

I poured us both a glass of red wine and sat down in my own seat across from her.

I couldn't stop staring at her as we ate. My eyes were having a hard time looking at anything other than her, and that beautiful satin robe…and more importantly, what was _under_ that satin robe.

Bella cleared her throat and laughed.

My eyes snapped up from her chest, which I had been very obviously staring at, to her eyes.

"Enjoying the view?" she teased.

"Uh huh…very much so," I said, sounding like a horny teenager, which made Bella start to laugh more.

"I'll have to thank Alice for packing for me. She thinks of everything, doesn't she?"

"That she does," I responded as I licked my lips, which caused her to stop laughing as she squirmed slightly in her seat.

We finished dinner and cleaned up quickly. Once everything was put away, I grabbed our wine glasses and led her over to the floor in front of the fireplace. We sat down and I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into my side. We sipped on our wine for a while and stared at the fire.

After a bit, I took her wine glass from her and placed both of them on the coffee table beside us before turning towards her.

"Bella, I know it is January, and Christmas is done and over with, but I would like to give you your Christmas present now."

"Edward, you really didn't need to get me anything for Christmas. I understand now why we didn't exchange this year, and it is okay. The fact that you are getting your memories back is the best gift I could have asked for," she told me.

"But that's the thing, Bella. It isn't that I didn't want to give you the gift that I had bought before the accident, it is just that when Alice tried to remind me of it, and showed it to me, I felt that it wasn't right if I gave it to you at that time because I couldn't remember the significance of it. It seemed really personal and I wanted to make sure that if and when I gave it to you, it was something we would both be able to appreciate because it holds memories of us."

"Um…okay," she said softly.

I could see a hint of sadness in her eyes as she remembered back to that night that she overheard Alice and me arguing about her Christmas present.

"Bella, don't be sad. We may not have been at the right point then, but we are now," I said as I tilted her chin up to look in my eyes.

"Okay," she said softly, giving me an encouraging smile.

I dropped my hand from her chin and leaned back, reaching under the couch cushion and pulling out a small, rectangular box that was wrapped in gold paper. I turned back to face her and I handed her the box.

She accepted it hesitantly, never taking her eyes off me. I saw her inhale a small breath as she looked down and slowly started to tear the paper off. Once she removed the wrapping paper, she stared down at the long velvet jewelry box. She looked back up at me momentarily before she slowly opened it. When her eyes finally fell upon what lay inside, she gasped.

"Edward, it is beautiful," she said.

Inside the box was a white gold charm bracelet. There were six charms on it already that I'd had custom made, and they dangled delicately off the bracelet.

"Here," I said as I gently removed the box from her hands, "as you can see, it's a charm bracelet. Each charm has special meaning to us as individuals and also as a couple," I explained as I removed the bracelet from the box and held it up so she could take a better look.

"The first charm is an apple because you are a teacher. The second one is a replica of my firehouse badge. One side has my Chicago Truck and Ladder number and the other side has my Seattle numbers on it. The third is a little Fork. I'm sure it isn't too creative on my part but I got it to represent where you are from. The fourth is an ice skate and engraved in little letters on the blade it says 'Chicago', showing where I'm from and where we were when I asked you to be my girlfriend. The fifth is a tiny replica of the Seattle Space Needle Building, since that is the city where we met and live now, and the sixth is a little wolf, representing our first date."

I hesitantly looked up at her to gauge her reaction. Her eyes were still focused down at the bracelet, which she had taken from my hands and was looking at intently. I waited for her to say something, but she remained quiet. I started getting nervous. Perhaps she didn't like it.

"Bella?" I said finally, unable to handle the silence any longer.

She finally gazed up at me. A single tear escaped the corner of her eye and ran down her cheek.

"Edward, I love it," she barely got out. The tears started to stream down. "Would you put it on me?" she asked as she handed it back to me and held out her wrist.

I clasped it on her and she pulled her wrist back to admire it. I reached my hands out and cupped either side of her face, bringing it up so our eyes met as I used my thumbs to wipe away her tears.

"I had all those charms made before the accident," I told her. "But there is one more that I would like to give you now. I had it made this week."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a tiny, black velvet bag that was held together with a drawstring at the top. I undid the tie and pulled the bag apart, turning it upside down and dropping the last charm out into my hand.

_This is it. There is no turning back from here._ But I knew I didn't want to turn back. I wanted to continue forward with her. She was the one thing in my life that I was completely sure of, and it was time she knew it.

I reached out and grabbed her hand, flipping it over so her palm was up. I slid the charm into her hand and closed her fingers around it. I brought her closed fist up to my lips and kissed her fingers before I released her hand and allowed her to open it and take a look.

She brought her hand back down in front of her and slowly opened her fingers. In her palm laid the small, white gold heart that was outlined with diamonds.

"Oh god, Edward!" she exclaimed. "This is…just…no words."

"Take a closer look, Beautiful; I had something engraved on it."

She brought it up closer to her face so she could see the tiny inscription.

"_Take care of my heart…I've left it with you_," she read aloud.

I saw fresh tears run down her cheeks.

"There is also something engraved on the back. It says one last thing, with today's date underneath it," I told her as she gently turned the charm over.

She gasped and brought her hand up to her chest. "Oh, Edward!" she cried. She looked up at me, her body trembling, as her tears continued to fall down her beautiful face.

I reached out and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear before grazing my finger tips along her jaw.

"It says '_I love you'_, Isabella, and I do. More than you could ever possibly comprehend."

I let my hand drift down away from her face and took the charm back out of her hand. I lifted her wrist toward me and attached it to the bracelet.

Bella sat up onto her knees and threw her arms around my neck. She was shaking, sobbing, so I pulled her into my lap and continued to hold her.

She pulled her face out of my neck and looked up at me. "I love you too, Edward, and if you love me even half as much as I love you then I can certainly comprehend how you feel."

I stared into her eyes and smiled. We let unspoken words pass between us before I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. We kissed gently at first before I let my tongue slide into her mouth. Hers met mine and we swirled them around each other's.

I pulled away from our kiss and dragged my nose along her jaw, until it was under her chin, and I used it to push her head back so I had access to her neck. I kissed along her neck, nipping and sucking down her throat to her collar bone.

Bringing my hand up, I ran it from her throat down between her breasts. I slid it down along her ribcage until I reached the belt of her robe, undoing it as though I were opening my own little gift. I shifted her so she was now straddling me. I slipped my hands under her robe, massaging her breasts before I brought them further up to her shoulders, sliding the robe off her.

She ground herself into my lap and I knotted my fingers into the back of her hair, pushing her face to mine so I could reclaim her mouth. We kissed passionately, furiously. Gripping her hips, Bella moved back and forth over my straining hard on.

She pulled back from our kiss and gripped the bottom of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head.

I let my fingers run under the thin straps of her matching blue, satin nighty.

"Lift up your arms, Baby," I whispered.

She did as I asked, and I pulled it up over her head, discarding it on the floor beside us. I grasped her tits from underneath, bringing my mouth to one of her nipples and sucking on it gently. I let my tongue swirl around it, feeling it harden under my touch.

Bella's fingers dug into my shoulders as she arched her back. She threw her head back and moaned. I kept kneading her breasts as I pulled my mouth away from one and gave equal attention to the other.

"Bella, look at me," I growled.

She brought her head back up and looked down at me as I gazed up at her through my lashes. My eyes never left hers as I took her nipple into my mouth and sucked it slowly.

"Oh god, Edward," she cried out. "That feels so good!"

I smiled against her nipple before placing a kiss on each one.

I lifted her gently off me as I got up on my knees. With my hand behind her head, I lowered her down onto one of the pillows that I had laid out on the floor. I kneeled between her knees and quickly undid the button of my jeans, taking them, and my boxers, off and throwing them aside.

I sat on my knees, just taking her in. She was so beautiful lying there naked, her skin glowing from the light of the fire that burned beside us. Her hair was flowing out in cascading waves over the pillow that her head rested on.

I skimmed my hands over the skin of her legs and thighs, causing her to break out into goose bumps. She shivered slightly while closing her eyes, letting out a slow, seductive breath.

Her eyes slowly opened, meeting mine again. She reached her hand out and skimmed the skin of my throbbing erection. I caught my breath and stilled, closing my eyes at the sensation. I felt her fingers wrap around my length as her thumb grazed over the tip, spreading the wetness around. She slid her hand up and down my length several times before I put my hand on top of hers to halt her movements. My eyes popped open and I looked at her.

"Baby, as amazing as that feels, I need you to stop for a minute or else I'm going to cum. I want to be inside of you first."

She gave me a sly little smile and allowed me to remove her hand.

I leaned down and started to pepper kisses from her knee to her upper thigh. I did the same on the other side. I then moved up and started to kiss and lick her stomach. I kept my eyes locked on hers the entire time. I slipped my thumbs under the waist of her panties and slowly dragged them down her body. After I threw them aside, I slid my hands under her thighs, pulling her pelvis up slightly. Her breath hitched as I gently kissed the apex of her thighs.

I noticed that her head had fallen to the side and she was breathing heavily.

"Isabella," I quietly called to her.

She looked at me again.

"I want you to keep your eyes on me the entire time. I want you to watch."

She gasped in a breath and seemed to hold it. I smiled slyly against her lower lips before letting my tongue drag up across her clit.

"Oh my god!" she yelled out.

"My name is actually Edward, Beautiful, but thanks for the compliment," I snickered as I continued to torture her with my tongue.

I felt her hands tighten into my hair as I flicked her clit over and over again with my tongue. I kept peaking back up at her to make sure she was watching…and she _was_!

Seeing her watch me was the most erotic thing I had ever witnessed. Her chest started to flush and her breathing was becoming heavier and heavier. I dragged my tongue down to her opening and let it slide in and out several times. When I brought it back up to her clit, I licked her again before taking it between my teeth and nibbling lightly.

All of a sudden, I felt her grip on my hair tighten and her breathing stopped momentarily.

I looked up at her as her eyes finally left mine and her head flew back.

"Oh, Edward, I'm coming," she moaned out.

"Good, Baby. Now it's my turn to watch," I told her. There was no better sight than watching my girl cum. If I could take a picture of it and frame it…for only me to see…I would.

When her body relaxed, and her breathing seemed to return back to normal, I crawled up her body, placing kisses along the way. When I reached her face, I leaned down and kissed her deeply. She ran her hands over my shoulders, up my neck, and into my hair.

She must have felt me line myself up to her entrance because she pulled back slightly and looked at me. "Baby, your wrist. Do you want me on top?" she asked, concern crossing her beautiful face.

"As much as I like watching you on top of me, I want to try it out this way," I told her. "As long as I put my weight on my forearms and not my hands I should be okay."

I kissed her again lightly. "Bella," I said against her lips, "I love you."

"I love you too," she said back softly.

I kissed the tip of her nose as I slid into her slowly, filling her completely.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, burying her face into my shoulder and biting down lightly.

"Baby, you are so tight," I told her as I pulled out slightly before burying myself in her again.

We moved together slowly…painstakingly slow. I felt her legs wrap around my waist and her feet pressed into my ass. She lifted her hips, meeting my thrusts. We started moving faster. I kissed along her jaw and made my way to her neck. I felt her pulse quickening under my lips. I bit down on her neck, careful not to break skin, but the sensation caused her to thrust her hips harder into me, making me hit her deepest parts within, as she called out my name.

After several more deep thrusts I felt her contract hard around me, her fingers scratching down my back. I sunk into her one last time before I stilled, spilling myself deep within her.

I collapsed on top of her, letting her hold all my weight for a moment while we both breathed heavily. When our breathing started to return to normal I rolled over onto my side, pulling her with me. She buried her head into my neck, and draped her leg across me, as I wrapped my arms around her. I pressed my lips to the top of her head before she looked at me, leaning up for a kiss.

She brought her hand up and caressed my cheek. "I love you, Edward," she whispered.

"I love you too, Beautiful."

We stayed there for a while, just lying in each other's arms, watching the fire until it eventually burned out. I finally stood up, holding my hands out to her, which she took and stood up as well. We walked across the room and up the stairs naked, hand-in-hand, to the master bedroom. When we got into the bed, I pulled her back to me, spooning her from behind, and wrapped my arms around her. We were both spent from our lovemaking and fell asleep quickly.

The next morning we woke up early, making love again. Afterwards we took a long shower together and dressed. We decided to go into town and walk around. We spent the day window shopping and looking in the little shops. Bella bought a few gifts for our friends before we decided to stop into a little café for lunch.

After lunch, it started to flurry so we thought it was best to head back to the cabin. When we got back we decided to play in the snow. We built a snowman. Well…Bella built it…I supervised. It was still hard for me to get around completely normal, especially after I had been on my feet all morning, so I sat on the steps of the porch while she built it. She occasionally threw a snowball at me, and I may or may not have thrown a few back at her, but we just laughed and had a great time acting like kids.

When we walked back inside, I suggested that we go out on the back porch that overlooked the lake since we hadn't the day before. When we stepped out of the sliding glass doors we were pleasantly surprised to see that there was a hot tub nestled into the corner of the deck. We decided to go and see if Alice had packed a bathing suit for Bella, which I doubted, but I actually wasn't shocked to find that she did.

Bella went into the bathroom to change into her bikini while I just took my jeans off, leaving my boxers on because I hadn't brought my swim trunks. When she walked out into the bedroom, I nearly shot a load at the sight of her. She started to laugh as I growled and stalked towards her.

"Edward! Down boy," she laughed out as she ran past me out the door of the room.

I followed quickly behind her. "You can run, Sexy, but you can't hide," I yelled.

I soon found myself sitting in the hot tub, with Bella straddling me, making out like a couple of teenagers. I had pushed aside the fabric of her bikini bottoms and was playing around with my fingers, as my other hand snuck under the triangle fabric of her top. How much better could life be, getting to second and third base with my girl in a Jacuzzi, overlooking a beautiful lake? Despite all the shit that we had been through over the past month, things were going really well for us now. I felt like king of the world…and all that other _Titanic_ shit.

Bella snuck her hand into the top of my boxers and was stroking me slowly as we kissed.

In between all our making out we started to talk lazily.

"Are you having a good time, Baby?" I asked.

"Uh hmmm," she moaned into my neck, as she placed kisses along it.

"Me too," I responded before biting on her hardened nipple through her bikini top, which evoked a cute yelp from her. "I wish we never had to leave. I love waking up with you, spending all day with you, and going to sleep with you every night," I said in between licking drops of water off the skin of her shoulder.

"I know what you mean," she breathed into my ear as she nibbled on my earlobe. "It's like we are in our own little world out here. You should just move in to my apartment when we get back."

As soon as the words left her mouth, I felt her halt her movements and freeze in place. I had to admit that her words shocked me and I stilled momentarily myself.

I pulled my hand out of her bikini and placed both of them on her hips, leaning back to look at her. She stayed pressed against me and didn't seem to want me to see her face.

"Bella?"

"Yes?" she said quietly.

"Look at me."

She slowly sat back and brought her face up so I could see her.

"Did you just ask me to move in with you?"

"Uh…yes…well...no…well...I don't know. Just forget I said anything," she said, her face turning red and I could tell she was embarrassed.

I lifted my hands out of the water and placed them on either side of her face. "Baby, don't be shy. Is this something you have been thinking about?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said, biting her bottom lip. "I guess I just figured that we spend the nights together anyway, except for when you have work. Alice and Jasper are always staying up at your place, and Emmett is moving in with Rosalie…so…I guess it sort of makes sense." She diverted her eyes down away from mine.

"Isabella, don't be shy in front of me," I said, running my thumbs along her cheekbones. "I kind of remember thinking the same thing before the accident. I remember thinking that Alice and Jasper clearly wanted to live together, but perhaps they weren't saying anything because they didn't want to push us into making a decision too soon…before we were ready. We practically live together anyway as it is, and it would make things a hell of a lot easier having all my clothes at your place so I didn't have to run upstairs to shower and change before and after work."

She brought her hands down from my shoulders and rested them against my chest. "So you think it's a good idea?" she asked, still chewing on her lip.

"Baby, if you don't stop chewing on that lip of yours I'm going to be forced to do something very naughty to you, but yes…I think it is a great idea."

Her eyes widened and a huge smile spread across her face as she lunged at me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Edward, could you have made me any happier this weekend? I don't think it's possible," she squealed in excitement.

I laughed and held her tight to me.

"Do you think Alice and Jasper will mind?" she asked me.

"Puh-lease," I said as I ran my hands up her back, stopping at the tie in the back of her bikini. "I'm sure if I called Alice right now to tell her she'd have her shit moved out, and my shit moved in, by the time we got home tomorrow." I slowly pulled the tie in the back, undoing it.

"You're absolutely right," she giggled, slowly grinding herself into me.

"Hey…maybe we can turn Alice's room into a hot tub room," I said as I pulled her bikini top off, throwing it somewhere onto the deck.

"That, Edward, is a wonderful idea," she said as she leaned in and kissed me.

That night as we were lying in bed, completely spent from our day together, I watched Bella as she slept. She was on her back with her arm draped above her head. The light from the moon streamed in from the windows and illuminated her face.

I started thinking about how my life had always been pretty good. I had a great family, kick ass friends, and a job that I loved. When I lost Tanya, I thought that everything in my heart had died with her…but I had been wrong. Meeting Isabella had opened me up and made me feel alive again. What a crime of humanity it would have been if I had lost all our previous memories together. But slowly, day by day, they were coming back to me. Not only that, but this weekend we had built so many new memories. She knew that I loved her, and by some miracle this gorgeous, funny and smart woman loved me too.

I don't know what it was…but I did something right to deserve the happiness I was feeling in this moment.

I laid my head down next to her and nuzzled my nose into her cheek. She stirred, and without waking up she turned onto her side, facing me, and cuddled into me.

I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes. I started to let myself relax and fall asleep, just thinking about the things we needed to do once we got home in order to make _her_ apartment _ours_.

Right before I let sleep take me over I chuckled, reminding myself that I needed to call Jeff in the morning. I had to see if he had a hose somewhere around here. I had to somehow put some water back into the hot tub because for the life of me I had no idea what we could have been doing in there to cause so much water to spill out over the sides.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you guys think of the Christmas gift? Holly and I discussed what it would be back when we wrote the chapter where he argued with Alice, but I had no idea what the heck kind of charms I should have on there…so I hope you all thought they were cute and not cheesy cheese. Momma tried.**

**For our other story that we are collaborating on, Wicked Angel, we will be doing a read along, hosted by nikkijoy10 (twitter) on April 29th at 8pm EST. We would love everyone to join in the fun! If you have a twitter please follow nikkijoy10 and tweet with new and old readers about Wicked Angel! To find out more about fic bridge go to the following link - http://theficbridge(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**I started reading a new story by one of our readers, trueloveph28, and it is really cute so far. It's only two chapters in but check it out and show her some love by reviewing. It is called "Composition of Love." http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5874864/1/Composition_of_Love**

**As always check out our profile page to links and info to our Twilighted Forums for WTS & BS and our FB & Twitter accounts.  
**

**Ummm…what else? Holly is out of town so I'm going to go and work on the edits for "Beautiful Stranger" now so I can post both of the updates tonight. Have a fabulous weekend hoors and I'll talk to you all soon!**

**Please hit review and tell us what you thought!**

**Pauline & Holly  
**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hello, we're back ;) Did you miss us? So, there are only a few more chapters left of this story. They won't be filler ones either because we have to finish telling their story. Pauline and I are sad to see this come to an end, as this was our first fic, our little baby…*sniff sniff***

**We are excited to let you know that we have already mapped out our next fic! We cannot wait to start posting, but we have to wait until this story is done. It's going to be different and really good, at least we think so ;) If you come and join us on Twilighted, you will see that we have dropped some hints about the new story. So, please put us on author alert – you won't want to miss out!**

**Thank you to our beta, SweetDulcinea. She is so awesome, you really should check out her stories. Her link is on our profile.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own this, but AmnesiaFireward is ours!**

***BPOV***

As I stood on the deck, scanning my surroundings, I greedily breathed in the fresh cold air, reminiscing on the events of my wonderful weekend with Edward. He was the perfect guy – tough and manly on the outside, but a mushy romantic at heart. Wrapping my arms around myself to keep warm, the movement causing the charms on my bracelet to jingle against one another, I smiled at the way Edward told me he loved me. It meant so much more than a mere blurting of those three important words because he had this well planned and thought out. It wasn't as though I didn't prefer spontaneity, but after all the crap we had been through with Edward's memory loss, it felt reassuring that he wanted to plan something special just for me.

This also wasn't about the material gifts at all; rather it was the sentiment behind it. He wanted to create a special memory, one that wasn't tainted by our haunting pasts or most painful recent events. Edward had succeeded in making my heart swell so big that I wasn't sure how much more love it could hold before I spontaneously combusted.

The sound of the sliding glass doors opening broke me from my thoughts. Turning around, I saw my gorgeous boyfriend, the man I loved with every fiber of my being, offering me my coat, his muscular arm extended in my direction.

"What are you doing out here with no coat on, Baby? You'll freeze to death."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I just wanted one last look at this breathtaking view before we left." I moved to take my coat from his hand and quickly put it on.

"It's nice here, huh? Don't worry; we'll come back hopefully over the summer. Maybe we could bring the rest of the gang here. I think they would love it as much as we did." Edward closed the distance between us, wrapping his perfect arms around my waist, holding me flush against his rock solid body.

"Mmm, that sounds great," I sighed, tightening my grip on him. "I'm really going to miss that hot tub."

"On second thought, maybe we won't invite the others next time we come," Edward laughed, kissing the top of my head. "You ready to go?"

I lifted my head, my eyes capturing his. "Yeah, I guess. I really don't feel like going to work tomorrow." This was true. The thought of being away from Edward after spending the last forty-eight hours with him made my stomach twist in knots. Not to mention, I was still worried about Edward's reaction to moving in together. I knew he had said he was all for it, but I felt like he was saying it because he felt he kind of had to, considering Alice and Jasper have alluded to the fact that they want to share a place, and Rose and Emmett were getting married. Trying not to let my tiny insecurity morph into something that would eat away at my insides, I swallowed my thoughts, placing them deep below the surface.

"Bella!" my extremely animated friend bellowed, lunging toward me to give me a hug. "So, how was it? Did you like the clothes I packed for you? How do you like your bracelet? Did he tell you that he loves you? Come on; tell me…I know he told you."

"Whoa, slow down, Alice. I will tell you everything, but let's get comfy and sit." I wasn't even home an hour. I had only started my laundry. Edward was upstairs doing his and speaking with Jasper and Emmett about moving out. I led her to the sofa, plopping myself down. Alice cuddled up by the arm rest, crossing her legs like a pretzel.

"Okay, spill it, woman, and you better not leave the juicy details out. Well, except for anything related to my cousin's junk because that's just…ew. Other than that, shoot!"

"What the hell have you been drinking, Al? What's got you so amped up? Surely it's not only about my weekend away," I questioned my friend's sanity. She was bouncing like some crack addict.

"I do actually have some awesome news to share, but you first," she smiled, eagerly waiting for me to tell my tale.

Angling my body toward Alice, tucking one leg underneath me, I began to divulge the details about the cabin, the charm bracelet, and the big "I love you." Alice had this dreamy eyed expression splashed across her face as I showed her the charms, explaining the significance of each. I told her an edited version of our sexual activities and where they took place. I did happen to tell her an abbreviated tale of our hot tub adventures. It was only when I got to the part where I had blurted out to Edward about moving in together I began to fidget in my place, stumbling over my words.

"And then I suggested…well, uncontrollably blurted is more like it, that maybe we should sort of make new living arrangements with one another." I choked out, apprehensive that Alice would be a little put off. I hadn't even told her that Edward wants her to be the one to move. He liked the layout of our apartment better, even though his place had three bedrooms to my two.

"Well, thank the dear lord because I was about to inform you that I was leaving to move upstairs with Jasper. We were even going to let Edward live with us until you two were ready to take your relationship to the next level. But this works out perfectly because now Edward's room can be my design studio," Alice clapped excitedly.

"So, I take it this was your good news?"

"Yup! Oh, Bella, everything is working according to plan. I just knew months ago when Edward told me he wanted a change and he intended on moving by me that you two were meant to be together. This makes me so happy." Alice slid on my lap, giving me a huge squeeze. When she looked back at me, she noticed my smile had fallen a bit. "What's the matter, Sweetie?"

"I don't know. You don't think I'm rushing into anything, do you? I mean, it was only a month ago that he thought he was with Tanya and now he's declaring his love and agreeing to move in with me. He didn't even bring it up…well, he did in a joking way before the accident, but he only vaguely remembers that. I had to put it out there. Suppose he is just going with the flow because he doesn't want to hurt me, considering what we just went through."

"Stop being so silly, Bells. I understand your pensiveness, but believe me, it's completely unnecessary. If anything, he would have said 'no' right away if he didn't want to. You know he didn't even want to give you that bracelet until he felt he was ready. My cousin adores you and his memory loss only fueled his love for you even further. It's like he had to find his way to you all over again, solidifying the deep bond you two share with one another."

Tears began to sting my eyes at my friend's dear words. Maybe she was right. Maybe Edward would have turned me down nicely stating we weren't ready. Too many maybes were swimming around in my head that, perhaps, I needed to speak with Edward to make sure we were in fact doing the right thing.

"I'm sorry, I feel like a big baby for crying like this. I just love Edward so much that if I ever lost him or, oh god, if he ever left me, I-I don't think I would ever recover from it, Alice. I want to make sure we are doing the right thing. I can't lose him again…I just can't," I sniffled, letting the tears drape down my face.

Alice clutched onto me, placing her arms around me, comforting me with her warmth and kind words. "Honey, if you really have reservations about moving in together, you should communicate that to Edward. You know how he is; he'll tell you the truth. Plus, he's already lived with a woman before…"

"Ugh, please don't remind me," I interrupted, not especially feeling like talking about Tanya right now. I meant no offense, but I didn't want this major change to be tainted by anything or anyone, especially Tanya or even Jake.

Placing her tiny hand over my mouth, blocking my words, Alice began speaking again. "Will you let me finish? Geez, I was going to say that Edward is used to living with a woman. However, what makes this so special is that he's taking this step with _you_, the only woman who has brought my cousin back to life, motivating him to face his demons and come to terms with his loss. I should be thanking you, Bella. Edward is a stronger person because of you and your undying support. So please try not to doubt him, okay? He's not going to hurt you like Jake."

"I won't. I'm being silly, I guess." Just as I was wiping the tears from my eyes with Alice still latched onto me, sitting atop my lap, in walked Edward with Jasper in tow. They took one look at how Alice was sitting on my lap, huge grins spreading on their faces. _What pervs!_ However, those wide smiles immediately disappeared once they really paid attention and saw my demeanor.

"Baby? Are you okay?" Edward rushed to where we were sitting, almost toppling poor Alice to the floor. She got the hint and jumped up to join Jasper at his side, giving him a chaste kiss on his lips and whispering in his ear.

I turned my attention to a very concerned looking Edward, his frown etched so deep on his handsome face. "I'm fine, really. Alice and I were just talking about something and it made me a little teary, that's all."

"What did you say to her, Alice?" Edward questioned his cousin, a little too harshly, in my opinion.

"Oh, don't get your panties all twisted, cuz. If you must know, we were reminiscing about all the good times we've shared in this place. I'm going to miss living with my best friend," Alice placated Edward, winking at me when she caught my eye. God, I loved her for covering for me.

"Oh…sorry, Alice. I'm just a little protective of my girl here and if anyone was to ever hurt her intentionally, I would have to kick their ass, including yours, Pix," Edward warned playfully, taking me by my hand and helping me to stand up. I wound my arms around his neck, reaching up to plant a searing kiss on his pouty lips.

"My hero," I breathed, smiling up at him.

"That's right and don't you ever forget it." Edward flashed me his sexy smirk. I would never tire of that look he gave me. I was tempted to drop to my knees, showing him just how much that damn smirk affected my body.

Later that night, we were lying naked in Edward's bed facing one another. We had opted to sleep in his room, since he wasn't going to be there for much longer. Earlier, the four of us had decided that next weekend, we would make the big apartment switch. We planned on breaking the good news to Rose and Emmett during the week, as they were busy situating Emmett's things, making Rose's condo Emmett's as well. Apparently while Edward and I were on our romantic getaway, Jasper and Alice, along with some of the guys from the firehouse, helped Emmett move his belongings to his future wife's home. All of us were embarking on the next phase of our lives whether it was moving in together or getting married. We were starting new journeys separate from one another, yet I felt as though this was going to make us all closer than before. We were happy and content with what life was throwing our way. We were maturing and hopefully becoming the people we had set out to be. It was a lot to take in, which was why my eyes were red and glassy…again.

"Bella, please talk to me. Something's clearly bothering you and if we are going to live together, we need to be able to communicate," Edward implored softly, his voice laced with concern. He sighed, cupping my cheek.

Tilting my head, my skin melting into his gentile touch, I gazed into his green eyes. "Edward, do you think we are doing the right thing?"

"You mean about living together?"

I nodded. "Um hm."

"Babe, if you are having reservations, I'll understand. I don't want to force you into something you may not be ready for. Alice and Jasper wouldn't have a problem with me staying here until you were ready."

"I'm not having reservations. I just wanted to make sure that this is what you wanted. After all, I did kind of asked impulsively, but that doesn't mean I wasn't serious about it. I just want to make sure that this isn't about the convenience of not having a change of clothes when you're staying with me."

Edward sighed, closing his eyes briefly and shaking his head before opening them up and speaking. "Shit, I knew the moment I said those words that you would take them the wrong way. Bella, I don't want to move in with you just because I would have some clothing nearby. I want to be able to hold you in my arms each night. I want to curl up beside you while watching a god awful chick flick," he said before leaning over and brushing his lips along mine.

He continued speaking softly. "I want to make you weak in the knees with my mad cooking skills." I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips when he said that. His penetrating gaze made me stop mid giggle.

Still caressing my face on the one side, he finished his thoughts. "I want to be able to fuck you on every available surface in this apartment. I want to make sweet love to you in _our_ bed. But most of all, I want us to live together because I love you and can't imagine my world without you in it."

With his heartfelt words, all my insecurities and doubts flew out of my head, leaving me with a goofy smile on my face. Edward spoke from his heart and that was all I could ask for. I trusted this man with my heart. I trusted Edward with my life.

"Thank you," I breathed.

"I love you, Beautiful…so much. I am thankful that I mustered up the courage to tell you how I felt."

I chuckled lightly at this admission. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"But I told you first that I loved you. I'm not sure I follow." Edward said indignantly, scrunching his cute face.

Gently pulling Edward's hand from my cheek, I sat up a little on my elbow. "Edward, I wasn't going to tell you this, but since you are keeping some sort of tab of who said what first, I have to break it to you, Hon. _I _was the first to admit feelings of love."

"Baby, I would have remembered you telling me something like that."

"Uh, no…you wouldn't. See, when you were in the coma, you started to react to your mother's voice and my voice. The nurse had encouraged us to talk to you; she said coma patients could still hear people around them. So your mom started talking about Christmas lights and you squeezed her hand. Then I began speaking and you reacted. I had planned to tell you how I felt when you came home from your shift, but you never did. Seeing you that way was devastating. I was so scared that you might never wake up; that you would never realize that I loved you, so I leaned down and whispered in your ear. I told you that you'd better wake up so I could look you in the eyes and say it."

I hung my head at this last part, a shiver running down my spine as I recalled what had happened after the big reveal. My voice was barely audible as I spoke. "I held your hand while my heart was beating rapidly. I felt some relief that I was able to tell you my true feelings and I was determined to express them again once you came back to us. I remember the smile that was plastered on my face as your eyes began to flutter. Then the most amazing thing happened – you woke up. I had foolishly thought that my words might have sparked you to life again, but when you had asked for Tanya and asked why I was crying, I knew that I was severely mistaken. Then…well…you know the rest."

Edward fingers reached my chin, lifting slightly. "I don't know what to say except that I'm so sorry, Baby…more than you'll ever know."

"It's okay, really. This is why I didn't want to say anything and rehash the painful parts, you know? What matters is that we love each other and that we are both healing," I truthfully stated, rubbing his arm soothingly, hoping that he believed that I didn't hold some type of grudge. He had memory loss for goodness sake. It wasn't his fault, but rather a real suck ass bump in the road for us.

"Thank you for having the courage to say those words when I couldn't. I may not have understood at the time, but your whispered confession _is_ what led me back to you. I don't doubt that for a second. You awakened something in me to keep fighting…for my life, for _us_. I felt like the real me was trapped in my mind, desperately clawing to find a way out. Bella, _you_ rescued me from myself because you never gave up on me. How did I get so fucking lucky?"

"You might not be asking yourself that when you find out that I hate doing the dishes…everything about it, from washing to drying," I smiled, wanting the cloud of hurt and sadness to dissipate. His heartfelt speech turned my insides into a bunch of fluttering butterflies, tickling my soul. He made me feel so special.

"Come here, cutie," Edward said huskily, bringing me toward him so he could capture my lips with his.

Before I knew what was even happening, Edward pinned me on my back to the bed, grasping my wrists over my head with one hand, as he raked his other hand over the side of my body. His body was deliciously pressed against mine as he parted my legs with his knee and settled himself between my thighs. I could feel the head of his dick at my entrance, bobbing a little, eager to nestle inside my warmth.

Still locking my arms over my head, Edward leaned on his good arm while easing himself slowly inside me. Nothing but our cries of pleasure filled the air as he slowly began his sensual dance, moving at a torturously slow pace. My hips immediately began to move in sync with his, creating just the right amount of friction and pressure my clit desperately needed.

Edward lips ghosted over my neck and shoulders. He nipped at my ear lobe before taking it into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. "Do you think I care about some stupid dishes, Baby? You could let those fuckers pile up in the sink and I would still want you. Nothing will ever keep me away from you…ever again. I love you so fucking much. Do you feel how much I love you?"

Edward began to hasten his movements, our hips undulating frantically against one another. He would pull out almost all the way and then slam right back into me, filling me completely. Edward was pouring all the love he felt for me into his lovemaking. How could I have ever doubted this man? I gave myself freely back to him, reciprocating his feelings. I felt so safe with Edward. He was my heart. He was my home.

"Yes, oh god, yes. I love you, Edward," I moaned, my breathing turning into pants, my eyes closing in ecstasy.

"Jesus, you feel so damn good. I'm gonna come, Baby," Edward grunted.

Those words were all the encouragement I needed to feel the last of the tightening in my stomach, my pleasure coiling so that my nerve endings were tingling and vibrating with need. Edward dipped his head to take one of my hardened peaks into his mouth and suck on it for dear life, allowing my orgasm to crash over me like a tidal wave, every part of me exploding with release.

Edward followed shortly after, his head leaning back, eyes squeezed shut and his mouth hanging slightly open. His face was glistening with a light sheen of sweat, his cheeks were rosy red. Lifting my hand toward his forehead, I dragged my fingers through the hair that was slick with sweat from our lovemaking and swept it aside so I could get a better look at his face. Upon opening his eyes, Edward was met with my gaze. His gorgeous smile lit up his face as he lowered his head and kissed my neck softly. Edward hissed as he gently pulled out from me and rolled on his back, bringing me with him. Instantly curling myself against him like a cat, I was safely tucked into his side. I kissed his chest while he placed one on my head before falling into a much needed deep sleep.

The next two weeks were hectic to say the least. Edward had officially moved in as planned and we took the week after that to settle some of my stuff and his stuff into Alice's old room, making it a guest bedroom as well as the computer room. The space was large enough for Edward's bedroom furniture and our desks to fit nicely. The extra space in my…I mean _our_ room, allotted for a new dresser for Edward's clothes. Being that I had so many clothes that needed to be hung instead of folded in a drawer; Edward had agreed to make the guestroom closet his closet.

We fell into our new living arrangements flawlessly. We were so comfortable with one another, having already learned one another's daily routines. Edward and Emmett had begun their desk job shifts at the fire house. Rose and I were thankful that their doctors still thought that was the best course of action for them to ease back into the workforce. We were dreading the day they would get the green light to get back on their ladder trucks and fight fires again. The thought made us sick to our stomachs. We couldn't even mention the topic without a few tears sneaking out from our eyes. Most of our intimate conversations were about the guys returning to work and how we would be "on call" for one another whenever we heard there was a fire they were going to respond to. We were even tempted to bribe some of their buddies to give us a heads up when that happened. However, we were going to hold off and see what Emmett and Edward's doctors would say at their next visit. Until then, Rose and I would wait with baited breath.

Thankfully we had each other to voice our concerns and fears to as the guys were extremely sensitive to the topic, stating that fighting fires was their calling in life. It's what shaped them into the men they had become and Edward and Emmett thought we needed to come to terms with that and understand. They stood firm on their ground while Rose and I stood alone on our little island. As fire fighters, they realized they could lose their lives helping others, and they were willing to pay that price. However, the women who love them were not quite as prepared to lose or sacrifice them.

We were nearing the end of January when we found ourselves at Rose and Emmett's condo with Alice and Jasper discussing wedding plans. Now that the holidays were done and over with, Rose and Emmett could focus on their dream wedding. Rose wasn't one for grand cathedral nuptials, and neither was Emmett. Before they were even engaged they had envisioned having a destination wedding, only inviting their closest friends and family to an island to bear witness of their undying love and devotion to one another. After doing a lot of time consuming research, Emmett and Rose had set the wheels in motion, settling on a location and date for their special day.

"We're getting married in Maui!" Rose squealed excitedly. We had already finished dinner and were hanging out in the living room enjoying one another's company.

"Oh my god! That's awesome you two," Alice cheered, getting up from the loveseat she had claimed with Jasper to give Emmett and Rose a hug.

"And Bella, Jasper, you two won't have to worry about taking a week off because Em and I wanted to plan it around your spring break," Rose smiled, turning her attention to us.

"Rose, you didn't have to do that," Jasper stated, going over to Emmett to shake his hand in thanks.

I was shocked and touched at the same time. "Em, Rose…really, that's too kind of you. Are you sure that's when you want to get married?"

"Don't be silly Bella Boo Boo," Emmett started. "Our wedding wouldn't be complete without our little family we have created here. We are all a packaged deal."

"When's the big day?" Edward inquired, his voice vibrating from his chest to my back as I was sitting between Edward's legs on the carpet. Edward had pulled me to his lap while resting his back against the couch before we morphed into this new comfortable position.

He kept touching me in the slightest of ways, alerting my senses to his presence, whether it was a brush of his hands along my back, or the stroke of his fingers along my side. Edward always had that affect on my body, housing the ability to turn me in a puddle of mush at a moment's notice. It was his feather light brushing along my arms that was currently awakening the need to have him inside me.

"The week after Easter. Well, we would all fly to Hawaii on Holy Thursday and you guys can stay until the following Thursday. Emmett and I are going to take a cruise around the other islands after everyone leaves. The resort has a wedding package special where if you have twenty-five or more guests attending your wedding, the chapel ceremony and outdoor reception is paid for by the hotel. Since Emmett and I have lots of family that want to come along, my father has offered to pay for our honeymoon suite as well as your hotel rooms," Rose informed, her finger dancing between Alice and myself.

"Are you kidding me? Rosalie, that's too much." I couldn't let her father do that for us. Granted, he was well off, but still that was awfully generous to do when we technically weren't even family.

"Yeah, we can't let your dad do that," Alice agreed, going back to her spot on Jasper's lap.

"Please." Rose waved her hand, disregarding our insistence to want to pay our own way. "My father all but insisted. He said it was the least he could do for my two best friends and maids of honor, who make me very happy. Besides, he feels we all need a break from the hustle and bustle of Seattle to enjoy one another." Rose moved in our direction, handing us each a brochure of the resort.

It looked amazing. _The Grand Wailea Resort_ seemed absolutely beautiful in the pictures that admiring it in the flesh would surely take my breath away. There was a small white chapel with a stained glass door and windows and a picture of what the outdoor reception would look like along the grounds. Everything was white, with splashes of vibrant colors coming from the flowers situated on the tables. I couldn't wait to go there and it would be even more exciting having Edward with me sharing in this wonderful experience.

"So, each couple gets their own room. No sharing?" Jasper clarified, his voice on the verge of letting go of the excitement that was bubbling inside him.

"Of course, Dude," Emmett answered. "Uh, this is Hawaii man. I'm not stupid. It's lover's paradise for crying out loud. I know you four are going to want your couple's time alone to hump like the jack rabbits you are." Emmett broke out into a raucous laughter, his upper body shaking like crazy.

"Man, this just gets better and better!" Jasper exclaimed, leaning down and giving Edward a fist bump.

"Don't I know it, Bro. We are going to have a fucking blast," Edward agreed.

Alice and I giggled at the way the guys were acting more excited than us girls.

"What?" Edward asked, a smirk playing on his face directed at me.

"Nothing. You guys are acting like a bunch of women getting excited over a shoe sale, that's all," Alice howled.

"What the hell's wrong with getting amped at our upcoming wedding and vacation? Man, we are going to rock the house in Hawaii! Just picture it: drinks by the pool, snorkeling, surfing. Oh! And don't forget big ol' pig roast and luau. Mmm, and you girls can learn the fine art of hula dancing with grass skirts and coconut titties." Emmett wagged his eyebrows while pretending he was fixing coconuts over his chest, a wide grin splayed on his face. He pulled Rosalie to his side by her waist and planted a sloppy wet kiss on her cheek.

"Emmett!" Rosalie exclaimed in mock disgust, wiping her face where his lips had touched. We saw her mouth twist upward, so we knew she wasn't really pissed.

"Rosie, I am so damn happy that you are going to be my fine ass little wife. Hey, I just thought of something. Do you think I should whip out the pimp cane for this occasion?" Emmett pondered, his forehead creased as he was seriously contemplating bringing that godforsaken thing along with him. He had just stopped walking around with it a week and a half ago. Rose almost burned it, but knew her fiancé was dearly attached to it, so she put it in the closet instead.

"No!" everyone shouted in unison, holding up our hands to him, our eyes bugging out of our heads at the mere thought of that gaudy cane.

"Geez people. Take a fucking joke, would ya? Man, I can't wait for Hawaii. You all need a vacation, seriously."

***Mmm, we smell a wedding in the near future…in the next chapter perhaps ;)**

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***Ok, we need to talk for a moment. So many people have been alerting this story and putting it on their favorites list, yet a lot of you are so silent :( ****We would love it if you could take the time out to review and tell us what you think. Do you know how ecstatic we would be if each and every one of you left a review? It's not easy posting your work out to the masses and when we receive a positive note, it motivates P and I to want to get a chapter out quicker.**

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**XOXO, Holly and Pauline**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry this took so long to post. I blame part of it on Memorial Day Weekend, and part of it on the fact that Holly insisted I read **_**High Anxiety,**_** by EdwardsBloodType. It sucked me in and I got nothing done. **_**Geez!**_** But it is a great story; you can find the link on our profile page if you are interested.**

**Thank you to our wonderful Beta, SweetDulcinea. As always you are the wind beneath our wings =)!**

**Anyhoo…since there has been so much HF in some of the updates we read this week (EP & UofEM), and momma's heart can take no more…I promise this chapter will be fun, romantic, and sexxxy!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight…I own an 85lb Bulldog named Meatball who thinks he is a lap dog.**

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*****EPOV***

It was the first day of April when we arrived in Maui. The sky was blue, the air was warm, and I was feeling like a million bucks. All my injuries from the accident had healed really well. I still had to attend physical therapy sessions twice a week, but it felt nice to be getting back to my normal, active self again.

Emmett, who had his fair share of serious injuries, had resumed full, active work duty already. I hadn't been allowed to go into fires yet, but they had allowed me to start driving the truck, rather than sitting back at the house manning the phones. However, my doctor had given the green light for me to return fully to work after we got back from Hawaii.

To say that Isabella was _not_ pleased about this would be the understatement of the year, but I knew she was keeping her opinions to herself. She knew that harping on it would be pointless, since I had no intentions of quitting and doing so would just cause an argument.

That didn't mean that I didn't care about her feelings, but this is who I am. She knew going into our relationship that I was a firefighter; risks are a part of the job, but I did my best to reassure her that I would be extra careful. Whenever I finished a shift I would make sure to spend the entire night with her, showing her over and over again…_that's right fuckers, I can do it multiple times in a night_…how much I loved her.

So as we exited the airport and got into the limo that was waiting there to drive us to the resort, we were all ready to relax, kick back, and just have some good old fashioned fun. We were leaving behind the emo mood that had hung over all of us immediately following the accident. Not to say that the last two months living with Bella were emo…they were great as a matter of fact…but we all needed a vacation and being here _finally_ felt exhilarating.

We sat in the limo as Emmett popped the cork on the complimentary bottle of champagne. He poured everyone a cup and passed them out.

"Here's to a week of fun, sun and hot fucking sex," Emmett toasted.

"Very romantic," Rosalie chided as she rolled her eyes.

We all laughed though, causing a smile to peak across Rose's face as well, as we yelled, "Cheers!", tapping our plastic cups together.

I draped my arm around Bella's shoulders as we sat back.

"I can't believe we are finally here," she told me as she stared out the window toward the palm trees and sunshine.

"I know. I forgot how much I missed the sun since moving to Seattle," I joked.

She looked up at me and laughed. I loved seeing the genuine, carefree smile on her face. She deserved to be happy. I leaned down and kissed her. It was meant to be a very chaste kiss, as we had an audience, but it was very difficult for me to do anything chaste to Bella. My tongue slipped into her mouth and we started going at it with our mouths. She moaned quite loudly, causing Jasper to yell, "Get a room!"

"I'm trying to, man! I can't make this driver go any faster," I responded as I smiled against Bella's lips.

We finally arrived at The Grand Wailea Resort around two o'clock, and let me tell you something…the place was fucking amazing! It turned out we were staying in the exclusive _NapuaTower,_ a private hotel within the resort. Jasper and Alice, and Bella and I were staying in rooms called _Napua Royal Suites, _while Emmett and Rosalie stayed in the _Grande Suite._

When Bella and I walked into our room I nearly passed out over how big it was. There was a large seating area with a big, comfortable looking couch, an elegant table with chairs where we could enjoy our complimentary continental breakfast each morning, a huge patio that looked out over the pools and ocean, and a bedroom that had a big, four post bed that I fully anticipated using…_a lot_…and I'm not talking about sleeping, folks.

We set our luggage down in the bedroom before I ran across the room and dove onto the bed, rolling around on it like a kid before settling on my back with my arms spread out on either side of me.

"Having fun?" Bella asked with amusement as she started unpacking her suitcase.

I lifted my head up to look at her. "Yes, but I'd be having more fun if you came over here and joined me." I cocked my eyebrow at her and she started to laugh.

"I have to hang up these dresses so that they won't be wrinkled for tonight; Rose and Emmett are taking us all out to dinner. They wanted to do something with just us before their families arrive on Monday; kind of like a bridal party dinner."

Although I hadn't expected it, Emmett had asked me a month ago if I would stand up with him at the wedding. I knew Jasper was his best man since they had known each other since they were kids, but I didn't expect him to ask me since we had only known each other for little less than a year. So needless to say, I was really honored when he had asked. He told me that although we hadn't known each other for a long time he still considered me one of his closest friends and part of his family. I was sincerely touched by it.

I rolled onto my side, supporting my head with hand as I looked at her. "So Rose's father is loaded, huh?"

"I wouldn't say he is loaded, per se. They have money, but I think since Rosalie is his only daughter, and they are having a fairly small wedding in terms of not having hundreds of people at some big, fancy reception hall, he is using all that money he would have spent in that way on lavishing the small amount of guests they invited here."

"Ah, I see," I said as I sat up and walked over to the sliding glass door that was located in our bedroom.

I stared out through the glass for a moment before I opened it and walked out onto the patio. The weather was gorgeous and the smell of the ocean filled my senses.

"Bella," I yelled, "come out here when you're done and look at this view."

"I'm here," she said as she slipped under my arm, wrapping hers around my waist. "It's so beautiful," she commented as I pulled her into my side and kissed the top of her head.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"Why don't we go walk around? See what this place has to offer," she suggested.

"Sounds good to me."

After we changed into lighter clothes, since it hadn't been quite as warm when we left Seattle this morning, we headed out of the room. As soon as we got into the hallway we met Jasper and Alice who were just exiting their room as well.

"Where are you two headed?" Bella asked.

"To walk around," Alice answered.

"Us too," I told my cousin. "Wanna go together?"

"Absolutely," Alice said with a big smile. She linked her arm through Bella's, leading her down the hall toward the elevator, as Jasper and I followed behind.

The four of us made our way around the entire resort…and man was it huge. We discovered there were two pools…well, let me rephrase that…there was one regular pool that was for adults eighteen and older, and then there was what was called the _Wailea Canyon Activity Pool._ That "pool" included four jungle pools, four tile slides, a whitewater rapids slide, a Tarzan pool with rope swing, the world's only water elevator, a sand beach, six waterfalls, caves, three Jacuzzis, an infant pool, and a swim up bar.

Jasper and I were jumping around like kids in a candy store.

"We are _so_ fucking doing that whitewater rapids slide and Tarzan rope swing thing tomorrow," Jasper said to me as we fist bumped.

I heard Bella and Alice laughing behind us. "What?" we both asked in unison.

"Nothing boys. Bella and I will set up a play date between the two of you tomorrow," Alice teased.

"Oh yeah? A play date? I'll show you a play date, Shorty," Jasper said to Alice as he stalked over to her, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder as he slapped her ass.

Alice squealed, clearly loving the caveman display her boyfriend was giving her.

Bella and I laughed as I walked over to her, throwing my arm around her shoulder, following after them.

We finally finished our tour around the resort and decided to head back to the rooms for a little relaxation time before we had to meet up with Rose and Emmett for dinner in two hours.

When we got back to our room, Bella disappeared into the bedroom while I sat on the couch and flipped through the brochures we had grabbed in the lobby of different off site expeditions. We were going to be here for a week, so we figured at least a few days we could explore other things on the island outside the resort.

"Edward?"

I looked up in the direction of Bella's voice and saw her standing in the doorway to the bedroom completely naked! My eyes bugged out of my head, my mouth fell open, and I dropped the brochure I had been looking at onto the floor.

"I'm going to take a shower before dinner. Just thought I would let you know," she said as a sly little smile spread across her face and she turned, disappearing back into our room.

I was up flying through the suite faster than a PMSing woman chasing after an ice cream truck, trying to get my clothes off in the process. I tripped, falling flat on my face when my feet got tangled in my shorts that wouldn't come off fast enough. That didn't deter me though. My girl was buck naked in the shower, clearly taunting me, and I was not about to miss out on that shit.

I finally got out of all my clothes and into the bathroom, seeing the naked silhouette of Bella through the glass doors of the shower. She turned her head away from the spray of water and looked at me, giving me a seductive smile.

I opened the glass door and slid in behind her, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her back into my chest. I let my hands travel up her stomach until I reached her tits. I cupped them, massaging them before I pinched and pulled her nipples. She moaned, arching her back, as she let her head fall to the side so it was leaning against the front of my shoulder.

"Babe, that feels so good," she told me.

She rewarded me by bending forward slightly so her ass pushed back into my dick, wiggling it a bit for some fucking awesome friction.

"Bella, have I ever mentioned what a great ass you have?"

"Ummm…well I remember you telling me that last night when I was packing my bags, this morning when I got out of bed, when I got into the cab to go to the airport, when we were in line checking in at Sea-Tac, when I reached up to put my carry-on into the overhead compartment on the plane, twice when we were walking around with Jasper and Alice before, and now…so yes, I think you may have mentioned it," she said with a laugh.

"Smart ass," I growled into her ear before biting down on her lobe. "I can't help it, Baby. Your ass is my favorite thing."

"Oh yeah? Last week you said it was my boobs, and the week before that it was my legs."

"Well damn, Baby, that is like asking a parent to choose which kid is their favorite. It's either impossible to do, or it changes weekly."

Bella started laughing hard. She turned in my arms so she was facing me. "Fair enough, Cullen. I could never choose just one thing as my favorite on you either."

She lifted her head to look up at me as the laughter subsided, replaced by lust in her eyes.

_Oh yeah! We were so gonna have shower sex now!_

__

_

* * *

_

The next morning Bella and I woke up fairly early since we had all decided at dinner last night that we would spend the day at the pool.

I was kneeling on the floor of our bedroom in my swim trunks, digging through my suitcase looking for my flip flops, when I heard the bathroom door open behind me.

"Bella," I whined, "have you seen my flip flops?"

"Maybe if you would unpack your suitcase you would be able to find things," she lectured.

I felt her kneel beside me to help me look. It was then that I turned to glance at her. My jaw dropped and I became rock hard immediately…but at the same time another feeling was bubbling in my gut.

"Uh…Bella, what are you wearing?" I asked, trying to stay as calm as possible.

She pulled my flip flops out of the suitcase and looked down at herself, confused. "My bathing suit," she said in a voice indicating she didn't understand my question.

I stood up and looked down at her as she continued to kneel. "You aren't going to wear that…like…outside, are you?"

"No, Edward, this is just my pre-bathing suit. I will do a wardrobe change before we head to the pool," she responded sarcastically, starting to laugh as she stood up.

When she saw that I was dead serious she stopped laughing. "Edward, what's the problem?"

"The problem," I said, "is that as hot as you look in that bikini, Beautiful, it is _very_ teeny. Every fucker at the pool is going to be ogling you."

Her swim suit…_for arguments sake we will call the dental floss she had on a swim suit_ …was a black string bikini. The little triangle part over her tits was just _that_…tiny, and the bottoms barely covered her ass. I had never had such conflicting feelings in my life. Half of me was begging for her to go and change into something else, while the other half of me wanted to have it permanently attached to her body so I could stare at her in it all the time.

But that was the problem right there. _I_ wanted to stare at her in it…in private. I did _not_ want some douchebag drooling over her out in public.

Bella jutted out her bottom lip in a sexy pout. "But, Baby, I bought this bikini just for you."

I felt my dick twitch in my board shorts.

"And from what I can tell," she said while eyeing my prominent bulge, "you like it _very _much."

"Ugh, Bella. Of course I like it…no, scratch that…I _love _it. But so will every guy out there," I whined like a petulant child.

"But I'll have you to protect me against all those nasty pervs," she said as she sauntered closer to me.

She placed her hands on my chest and looked up at me. "I don't care if anyone else looks at me, Edward. The only eyes I can feel burning into my skin are yours."

Before I knew what was happening, Bella sank down on her knees, running her hands up the back of my calves. When she reached the bottom hem of my trunks she ran her hands underneath, up the back of my legs, pushing the material up with her until she grabbed my ass.

She leaned forward and licked my dick over the material of my trunks. I groaned audibly at the sensation and the sight of my fuckhot girl on her knees in front of me, looking all fucking kinds of sexy.

With her hands still under my suit, she slid them up further off my ass until she reached the waist and slowly pulled them down. My now aching hard on sprang out and I watched in wonder as my girl looked at it with hunger in her eyes. She wrapped her little hand around me and slowly started stroking.

"Bella," I hissed out, "we are supposed to meet everyone down at the pool." As if I really fucking cared at that moment, but I figured I would try and _act _like I cared by throwing it out there.

"Pshhh," Bella stated. "I went bathing suit shopping with Alice and Rosalie before we left, and if Emmett and Jasper are in any way reacting the way you are…we are not the only ones still in our room."

_Okay good, because there is no way in hell I could go and float in a pool right now with my dick standing at full attention like some kind of fucking sun dial._

Seductively, Bella licked her lips while looking up at me through her fucking amazing eye lashes, slowly leaning in and wrapping her mouth around my dick. She took me in completely before sliding back and running her tongue around the tip.

My knees started to buckle at the sensation. Bella giggled slightly, which caused the most amazing vibration around my cock. I seriously thought I was going to fall, but she gently pushed me to walk backwards while still going to work on me so that I could sit down on the bed.

Now that I didn't have the worry of collapsing to the floor, I threaded my fingers through her hair as she bobbed up and down, using her mouth and her hand to work in perfect unison together. When she took her other hand and cupped my balls I knew I was done for.

"Jesus, Baby!" I growled. "That feels so fucking good."

"Mmmmm," she moaned, again creating that fucking intense vibration that was pushing me to the edge.

She reached up and took one of my hands out of her hair and brought it down so that I was cupping her tit. I moved the little triangle material to the side as I massaged her, then pinched her nipple, causing her to moan again…not that I did that shit on purpose.

_Ha ha…who am I fucking kidding_?

It was that last little moan from her that sent me over the edge. "Beautiful, I'm gonna cum." I knew she would swallow, but I still liked to be nice and give her the option. When she didn't pull away, I removed both my hands from her and gripped onto the bedspread.

"Ung!" I shouted as I released into her warm, beautiful mouth. My girl took it in like a champ. When I finished, I collapsed backwards onto the bed, breathing heavily.

Bella stood up with a cocky little smirk on her face. "I think my work here is done," she said as she righted her bikini top and walked towards the door of the bedroom, picking up the beach bag. "Ready, Tiger?" she asked…ultimately ending our discussion on her beach attire.

I just nodded like the pathetic, whipped motherfucker that I was…following behind her knowing that she completely owned my ass. I didn't feel so bad for too long because once we got down to the pool and found Em and Rose, and Alice and Jasper, they both looked just as pathetic and whipped as I did…following behind their girls in skimpy bikinis too, panting like dogs in heat…which we all were.

* * *

The next few days were spent having fun in the sun. Jasper, Emmett and I even took a surfing lesson, while the girls went into town one day to shop, which ended with the girls laughing at us when we returned. This was due to the fact that I had a bruise on my hip from falling off the board numerous times, Emmett's board was broken in half, and Jasper…well Jasper had just a towel wrapped around his waist since his bathing suit somehow got sucked off in the waves and we couldn't retrieve it fast enough before the current pulled it out to sea.

Rosalie and Emmett's families were awesome as well. Rosalie's twin brothers were sixteen and constantly up to no good. One day while sitting at the outside Tiki bar, Bella and I saw them trying to chat it up with two twenty-something year old chicks, using all their suave moves. It was funny to watch the girls humor them, but what was even funnier was when their two body builder boyfriends returned. Those boys ran so fast I thought I was going to get whiplash watching them.

Finally the night before the big day arrived and it was time for the respective bachelor and bachelorette parties. Bella and I were getting ready in our room before we headed out separately for the night.

"So what are you fools planning for tonight?" she asked.

"Oh…nothing much. Just a little innocent fun," I teased.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure you are," she responded but smiled so I knew she wasn't worried. "Just no strippers," she told me pointedly. "Rosalie will kill you and I'm really not in the mood to sit in a police station tomorrow, bailing Rosalie out for murder, instead of at the wedding."

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder, looking at her in the mirror of the bathroom as she finished putting on her makeup. "No strippers? What the hell kind of bachelor party would that be?" I asked her.

She halted her movement and glared at me through my reflection in the mirror. "Edward…," she warned.

I just laughed, backing away with my hands up, palms facing out in defeat. "Okay, okay…no strippers. We are just going to a bar in town…not a strip club," I told her. "What are you guys doing?"

"We are going to dinner with Rosalie and Emmett's mothers and then the three of us, and some of Rosalie's cousins, are going to a club to dance."

Bella turned to face me, leaning back on the bathroom counter behind her.

I took a few steps towards her, placing my hands on either side of her hips on the counter. "Well…no dancing with any guys," I told her as I lifted one of my hands and traced my finger along her collar bone, down over the tops of her breasts and into her cleavage. I leaned in and started to lick her jaw up to her ear, where I stopped and whispered. "You're _my_ girl, Beautiful."

Bella shivered, before wrapping her arms around my waist, standing up on her tip toes, and whispering back into my ear. "Only yours," she breathed.

I leaned in and we started kissing. It was fast, furious and hungry. I ran my hands down her hips, over her thighs, and started to lift her skirt up when we heard the door to our room fly open.

"Hey, dick!" Emmett yelled out. "Where are you, fucker? We have a bachelor party to get started!"

I pulled back from our kiss and rolled my eyes. Bella laughed at me. "Have a good time," she said. "We'll meet up with you guys later on."

"Okay. Have fun and be careful," I told her seriously.

"Awww…how cute are you? I _will_ be safe, I promise. You too," she said.

I gave her a quick kiss before she turned back toward the mirror to finish getting ready. I slapped her ass for good measure before I ran out of the bathroom as she squealed and yelled, "Cullen, you are gonna pay for that!"

"With pleasure," I laughed as I exited the bedroom and found Jasper and Emmett digging around in our mini bar. "Hey, fuckers, don't start without me," I said as I walked over to them.

"Well if you would stop trying to fuck Bella in the bathroom we wouldn't already be two shots in," Emmett said as she held a nip bottle of tequila out to me. We all undid the little caps.

"To your last night as a free man," Jasper toasted, holding up his mini bottle.

"Shhhh!" Emmett said in a whisper. "You have to say, 'to your last night as an _un-married_ man'. I used the word _free_ before and Rosalie almost ripped my balls off. I even suggested the word _single,_ but that wasn't good enough either because she so nicely explained to me while she had me in a headlock that just because I wasn't married didn't mean I was single."

Jasper and I doubled over in laughter. How could a big guy, over six feet tall, be so scared of a woman who couldn't have weighed more than a hundred and ten pounds? But as Bella walked into the room, announcing that she was going up to meet the girls in Rosalie's suite, and gave me one last silent warning with her stink eye that I better behave myself…I completely understood. Damn…we were all pussy whipped beyond belief.

After Bella closed the door I held up my bottle again and re-stated, "To your last night as an _un-married_ man!" Everyone shouted 'cheers' as we clinked them together and tossed back our first of many shots for the evening.

We decided to head out but just before I was about to close the door Jasper turned to me and whispered, "Yo man…you got the bag with the stuff in it?"

"Oh, shit! I almost forgot." I ran back into the room and grabbed the white, plastic shopping bag from behind the couch and ran out to meet the guys by the elevator.

"What's in there?" Emmett asked.

I shot Jasper a conspiratory smirk and we both said, "Nothing," at the same time.

"Just remember…whatever you two have in store for me tonight…I have a good fucking memory, dudes. And when you guys get married…payback can be a real bitch," he said. But we all just laughed…knowing full well that Emmett would be down for whatever we had planned.

* * *

We got to the first bar at around nine o'clock. It was nothing too outrageous. We had plans for Emmett later on, but we figured that we would start out just going out and having a few drinks before the real festivities began.

We ordered a round of beers and three shots of tequila. After we did our shots and toasted again with our beers, we sat around talking for a while.

"So," Jasper started, "now that we are away from the hotel and can speak freely, does it feel weird that this is your last night as a free man?"

Emmett took a swig of his beer before placing it down on the table. "In all honesty man…I joke about it, but I feel that word _free_ is actually used backwards. Before Rose was in my life I just sort of existed. I wasn't sad or depressed or anything like that…I just went through life in a blur…working, socializing, paying the bills, etc. But the day I met her…everything changed. She made everything I did in life worthwhile. Even the most mundane things I did had a purpose because they were done with her or for her. So I don't look at marriage to her as the end to my freedom…I feel like marrying her and knowing she is mine forever _is_ freedom. I'm marrying my best friend."

_Wow! _That was pretty friggin' deep coming from Emmett. I didn't think he had it in him, but I was thoroughly impressed. Jasper and I just nodded our heads in agreement.

But just when I started to think that Emmett was a true, sentimental sap, he let out a huge burp and smiled big. "So when are the two of you fuckers gonna settle down?"

"Hey…don't look at me," I said. "Bella and I haven't even been together for a year. I have no doubt in my mind that she is _the one,_ but we need some time to just be a normal dating couple. We have had too much drama and we are just settling into things now."

We both looked over at Jasper who was nervously fiddling with the bottle cap from his beer.

"So?" Emmett asked him.

Jasper looked up at us and settled his gaze on me. "Well…uh…I kind of wanted to talk to Edward about this alone, but I guess now is as good a time as any," he said.

I furrowed my brows at him. "What's up?" I asked.

"Well…I spoke to your dad when he was visiting at Christmas, but I also wanted to talk to you. Since Alice's real father died when she was so young, and you and Carlisle are the men in her life, I wanted to ask you permission for Alice's hand in marriage."

I sat there stunned. "Wow, Jasper, that is really nice of you to do. Of course you have my blessing. I have never seen Alice happier than she has been since meeting you and I know you treat her so well. I would be honored to have you as a member of my family."

I stood up and Jasper and I did the half man hug thing before sitting back down.

"I have her ring already. I was thinking of asking her before we leave here."

I just smiled and held up my beer bottle to clink with his.

"This is just beautiful man," Emmett said as he fake cried. When he was done with his little performance he looked at us in his normal way and said, "Now that I have officially grown a vagina after the conversations we have just had, can we go and see some titties?"

Jasper and I both sprayed the beer we had just taken sips of all over as we started laughing.

"We are _not _allowed to go to a strip club tonight," I told him, "but we have a really fun evening planned for you. We all stood up, threw some money down on the table, and headed out for the rest of the night.

* * *

As we got into the cab at the end of our bachelor party festivities, I grabbed my phone and texted Bella.

**Hey B, where are you guys? - E**

After a few minutes my phone beeped.

**We r at the hotel lounge. - B**

**Ok…we r on our way. - E **

I was pretty proud of myself for being able to operate heavy machinery…a.k.a. my cell phone…seeing that I was pretty wasted. Emmett was sitting in the front of the cab, hanging out the window, high-fiving random people on the street as we passed, telling them that he loved them.

The cab driver didn't seem fazed at all, which Jasper and I found hysterical, considering what Emmett was wearing.

We pulled up in front of our resort and got out of the cab. Jasper and I had to prevent Emmett from hugging an older couple who looked terrified at the sight of this big, muscular guy coming towards them wasted, singing _All the Single Ladies_, by Beyonce, and dressed like a freak of nature.

"It's his bachelor party," I explained to them as I tried to contain my laughter. The man just started to laugh as his wife spun on her heels, hauling ass in the opposite direction.

"Where's my woman?" Emmett boomed.

"She's in the hotel lounge," I told him as we guided him in the right direction.

As soon as we walked into the lounge the bouncer cocked his eyebrow at us, before snickering and shaking his head. He didn't even bother to check our IDs.

When we got inside we all started to look around for the girls.

"Rosalie! Where are you, Baby?" Emmett yelled.

"Oh. My. God!" I heard Rosalie shriek loudly.

We looked over in the direction of her voice and saw all three girls looking at us with their mouths hanging wide open.

Immediately Bella and Alice broke out in fits of hysterical laughter while Rosalie sat there mortified.

"Emmett McCarty…what in God's name are you wearing? And where the hell are your pants?"

Emmett did a little twirl to show off his outfit which consisted of a grass hula skirt and coconut bra top.

"Do you like it baby?" he asked as we made our way over to their table.

By this point Alice and Bella were laughing so hard that Alice stood up quickly and ran to the bathroom telling us that she was gonna piss her pants.

"Do you have anything under that?" Rosalie asked Emmett who was now sitting next to her, trying to make out with her, while she had her hand on his face pushing him away.

Emmett reached down and moved some of the grass from his skirt out of the way. "I have my undies on, Baby," he responded as he tried to lean in and lick her face.

"Where the hell are your pants?"

I reached down into the white bag and threw them across the table, hitting Emmett in the head.

"They didn't exactly go with the outfit," he told her seriously. "They clashed with my bra," he said as he knocked on his coconut top.

Rosalie tried to keep a straight face before she too busted out into fits of laughter that got the rest of us going.

After Alice returned and slid into the booth next to Jasper, we rehashed our evening to the girls. We took Emmett to a luau that was meant for men only. It had all your typical fire juggling, and Hula girls in grass skirts, but it was a little more risqué than your typical family luau. Bella looked at me and cocked her eye but before I got smacked Emmett spoke up eloquently for Jasper and I.

"Don't worry…there were no titties shown, but they did dance a bit more seductively than that shit they taught the Brady girls when they went to Hawaii on _The Brady Bunch_. And Jasper and Eddie set it up so I would be a part of the show. They even bought me this outfit so I would fit in." He looked at Rosalie, "you're so pretty."

Rosalie started to laugh again before she stood up and reached her hand out to Emmett. "Come on my little Hula Girl. We need to get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."

Emmett stood up and scooped Rosalie up, causing her to squeal, as they made their way out of the lounge.

"Hey, Beautiful," I said as I turned to Bella who was cuddling into my side. "Did you girls have fun tonight?"

"Well, clearly not as fun as you three had, but we _did_ have a good time," she slurred.

"Are you drunk?" I asked her amused.

"Mmmm…maybe just a little," she said, following it with her telltale sign of drunkenness…a hiccup.

She leaned up so she could whisper in my ear…well what she thought was a whisper…she actually shouted. "Edward, let's go upstairs. I have a surprise for you."

Jasper and Alice broke apart from sucking face to look over at us…clearly hammered themselves… hearing Bella's 'whisper' to me since she was so quiet and discrete.

"Okay, Baby, let's go," I laughed, taking her hand and leading her out of the lounge.

We got up to the room and Bella pulled me into the bedroom. She pushed me over to the chair in the corner of the room and told me to sit down and wait there for her. She then disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

I leaned to the side and reached out, pushing the sliding glass door open so we could get a breeze. Once I did, I sat back and rested my head against the back of the chair, closing my eyes, thoroughly enjoying the smell of the ocean streaming through the screen door into our room.

After several minutes I finally heard the light clicking sound of the bathroom door opening, so I lifted my head up to look. The door was slightly ajar but the light was off inside. I saw Bella's hand slide out and run up against the wall outside of the bathroom door, where she blindly searched for, and found, the light switch. She dimmed the lights and pulled her hand back in. I still couldn't see her, but I was intrigued as to what she was up to, so I leaned forward in my chair, resting my elbows on my knees, and my face in my palms, waiting to see what she was going to do. Her hand poked out again, this time holding a little remote. She held it up, clicking a button, and the sound of sultry music started to play. When she yet again brought her hand back inside the blackness of the bathroom, I cracked a smile…really intrigued as to what was coming next.

Finally, the door opened completely and Bella stepped out, resting her hands on either side of the door frame. She was standing there in a black satin corset, matching black panties with a garter belt attached that were holding up black thigh high stockings, and black stiletto high heels.

To say that my jaw hit the floor would be an understatement. My dick instantly hardened, clawing at my zipper. He wanted out…now.

"Beautiful…what is this all about?" I said as I carefully rolled my tongue up back into my mouth from off the floor.

"Well…," she said in a sultry voice, "like you said before…what would a bachelor party without a stripper? And even though it was Emmett's bachelor party, I still like to make sure my man gets what he wants."

My mouth hit the floor again at the realization of what she was saying. _My girl was going to strip…for me!_ _Holy shit!_

"You might want to get comfortable, Baby," she purred, "'cause you are in for quite a show."

I swallowed hard and leaned back slowly in the chair, getting comfortable. The slow beat of the sexy music she had on filled the room as Bella took two seductive steps out into the room. She stopped where she was and turned toward the bed where she grabbed hold of one of the bed posts. While never taking her eyes off me, she slid down to the floor with her feet still planted firmly on the ground, until her ass grazed the carpet and she popped back up to a standing position.

She then turned around so her back was up against the post, imitating the same movement as before, only this time she was facing forward. Once she was standing again she stepped out of her heels and walked slowly towards me to the beat of the music, and when she reached me she bent at the waist, resting her hands on my knees. Her tits were practically spilling out the top of the corset. I lifted my gaze slowly from her chest to her eyes, licking my lips.

Bella slowly moved her face toward mine and just when I thought she was going to kiss me, she tipped her head to the right, stopping her mouth inches away from my ear.

"Edward?"

"Y…y…yes," I stuttered out.

"Would you like a lap dance?"

She pulled her head back slightly so she was looking at me…but so close to my face that I could feel her warm breath against my skin. I wanted to kiss her so bad but instead I choked out, "Yes, please."

She just smiled before standing back up straight and turned around so that now her perfect ass was right in front of my face.

"I think I need to get rid of these pesky stockings," she told me from over her shoulder.

She bent over again at the waist and undid the stockings from the garter belt, rolling them down her beautifully tanned legs until they were off. She threw them over her shoulder so they landed on me. Then, without notice, she sat down on my lap and leaned back so her back was pushed up against my chest. She ground her tight ass into my dick, making my hard on ache to be released from the confines of my pants.

Instinctively, I lifted my hands to grab her tits, but before I could make contact, she grabbed my hands in hers and looked at me from over her shoulder.

"Nuh-uh," she chastised playfully, "no touching." She carefully placed both of my hands onto the arms of the chair, giving them a little squeeze before she let go and continued her slithering around in my lap.

Once again, she seductively rose to her feet where she brought her hands to her back, and I watched in awe as she slowly popped open each hook to her corset. After the last hook was undone she turned to face me, holding the corset up with her hands. When she made eye contact with me she shook her hips slowly from side to side as she pulled it away from her body, discarding it to a corner of the room.

I was now in full on panting mode. She looked so fucking hot dancing seductively for me. She was standing in nothing but her panties and it was killing me because I just wanted to touch her but I wasn't allowed.

She stepped closer to me, straddled my lap and sank down, roughly grabbing my hair and pulling my head back so that I was looking up at her. She ground her pussy into my lap, breaking momentarily from character as she whimpered over the friction my hard on was giving her through the flimsy fabric of her panties.

My fingers were digging into the upholstery of the chair where I was gripping so hard my knuckles were white, desperately trying not to go against her rules by touching her.

She reached back and placed her hands on my knees, arching her back in the process and when her tits came within inches of my face, I lost it. I could no longer hold back. I stood up quickly, catching Bella off guard. I wrapped my arms securely around her waist, while her legs and arms instinctively wrapped around me.

I crashed my lips to hers, stifling the protest she was about to give me about ruining the end of her strip tease, but I didn't care. She had just turned me on beyond belief and I could no longer sit back and watch as a spectator.

I walked us over to the bed, where I sat her down. I quickly stripped off my clothes before climbing up, as she scooted back towards the center of the mattress and lay back. I hooked my fingers into the waist of her panties but paused to look at her.

She was biting her bottom lip, staring at me with such lust.

"Bella…that was the single best strip tease and lap dance a guy could ever get, but I want to be able to remove the last piece of your clothing," I told her as I slowly pulled her panties down.

Once they were off, I tossed them over my shoulder and leaned down over her, immediately taking her nipple into my mouth. Her back arched up off the bed as I moved to the other one. She was moaning and shivering under my touch. Her hands flew up into my hair, where she tangled her fingers amongst my locks.

I stilled my movements and gazed up at her before she finally realized I wasn't doing anything and peeked open her eyes to look down at me. I smirked at her before flipping her over suddenly, causing her to squeal.

I pulled her up so she was on all fours and maneuvered my body so I was kneeling directly behind her, grinding myself into her ass.

I bent slightly at the waist, bringing my arms around her so one hand could grope her tits while the other slid down her ribs to her stomach, until I reached the motherland. God…she was so fucking wet. I started slowly circling her clit with my fingers while I leaned back slightly, lining myself up with her tight pussy.

"Are you okay?" I asked before proceeding.

"Ung," she growled, "I'm _so _totally okay, Baby."

Once those words were uttered from her, I slid in from behind, causing her head to drop down and rest on the bed as she moaned. I slid back out slowly but pushed back into her slightly harder the next time. She was whimpering in the hottest way.

"Harder, Baby," she said.

I pulled my chest up and grabbed onto her hips before pounding back into her. Bella let out a loud moan while I continued pumping into her with vigor. I watched as she brought one of her hands back to start touching herself down _there_!

From our position I couldn't see her hand but knowing that my girl was touching herself while I gave it to her from behind filled my entire body with such arousal that I was emitting the most animalistic sounds.

"Oh God, Edward, that feels so good." She was slamming her ass back to meet my thrusts. "Oh baby…I'm gonna cum!" she yelled.

She clenched around me, her tight contractions bringing me closer to my own release as I continued my delicious penetrations into her.

After several more thrusts I finally stilled, releasing everything I had into her. I collapsed onto her, and we both fell onto our sides. I pulled her back into me, spooning her as I gently messaged her breasts and kissed her neck. When her breathing got to a more normal rate she turned over, facing me. She reached up and ran her fingers over my cheek, leaning in she kissed me. She slipped her tongue into my mouth and we kissed deeply, yet slowly, taking in the immense love and attraction we felt for each other.

When we finally pulled away we just lay still, staring at each other for several moments. I leaned toward her and kissed the tip of her nose, then a chaste, quick kiss on her lips, before leaning back to look at her.

Finally, I sat up and slid off the bed, quickly turning off the music and lights. I left the balcony door open so we could enjoy the breeze and the sound of the surf. When I walked back to the bed, Bella was already under covers and I slid in behind her, wrapping my arms around her before pulling her into my chest.

"I love you, Beautiful," I whispered into her ear.

"I love you too, Baby."

* * *

The following day was a bit hectic to say the least. Bella left our room as soon as we woke up in the morning to join all the ladies at the spa. They were going to spend the day getting facials, massages, hair and makeup done for the wedding.

Emmett's father treated all the men to massages as well, but we had ours up in Emmett and Rosalie's room so that we wouldn't bump into the girls by accident. Rosalie didn't want Emmett to see her before the wedding so the hotel accommodated us in that way.

After all our massages were done we had lunch in the room. Since none of us had a lot to do in terms of getting ready we lounged around, having a couple of beers and smoking some good cigars that Rosalie's father had obtained somehow from Cuba. He even allowed Rose's younger brothers to try a drag, with the promise they wouldn't tell their mother on him, and we all laughed and made fun of them when they started choking and coughing.

The wedding was to start at six o'clock on the dot, so at four-thirty Jasper and I headed down to our rooms to get showered and dressed.

After I finished styling my hair in its usual, untamable disarray that Bella liked to call 'sex hair', I grabbed my tux jacket and headed over to Jasper's room. When I walked into his room I heard him cursing from the direction of the bedroom. I entered into the room and saw him struggling with his bow tie.

"Man…you are going to get it all wrinkled," I told him as I walked over and turned him to face me so I could tie it for him.

Once it was neatly tied, and Jasper thanked me, we decided to head down to the chapel.

The chapel was small, white, and sitting right atop a small cliff overlooking the ocean. When I peered through the front door I saw that at the end of the aisle, taking up the entire back wall, was a huge glass window that offered a magnificent view of the ocean.

Emmett paced back and forth nervously as Jasper and I tried to calm him the best we could. We knew it wasn't the kind of nerves that accompanied cold feet, but rather nerves of not messing up his vows, and nerves of finally seeing Rosalie.

The wedding planner approached us and told Emmett that Rosalie and the girls were headed down now so he should accompany his parents down the aisle and take his place in front by the alter.

Jasper and I both patted Em on the back before watching him disappear inside with his parents on either side of him. Once the door closed behind them, leaving Jasper and I standing alone, we turned our attention away from the chapel, in the direction of the hotel where we saw Rosalie, her parents, Alice and Bella coming across the lawn.

Both Jasper and I froze in place, taking in the sight of Rosalie looking gorgeous in her beautiful wedding dress, followed by our girls who were holding her train, looking breathtaking themselves.

Rosalie was wearing a white strapless gown that was fitted to slightly past her hips, where it flared slightly. Her hair was pulled up into a bun.

Alice and Bella were wearing short, pale pink, strapless dresses that had what looked like delicate feathers all over the bottom half. Bella's hair was all down, in big soft waves that were currently blowing around her as she made her way closer to me.

When she finally made eye contact with me, I gave her a crooked smile, causing her to blush a little before she returned the smile to me.

They finally made it to where we stood right outside the doors of the chapel. Jasper and I each gave Rosalie a kiss on the cheek, telling her how stunning she looked. I then shook her father's hand and kissed her mother, before walking around behind them to take my girl's hand after she and Alice finished smoothing out Rose's train.

"You look stunning, Beautiful," I whispered to her.

"You don't look to shabby yourself," she told me as she fingered the lapels of my tux jacket.

She straightened the flower I had pinned there before resting her hands against my chest. I stared into her eyes for a moment before leaning down to give her a quick kiss.

The door to the chapel opened slightly and the wedding planner, Trey, slipped out. According to Bella, who whispered in my ear, Trey was _fabulous_ in a "two snaps in a Z formation" kind of way. _Think Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier from 'In Living Color'._

"Are we ready for the bridal party?" he asked Rose.

"I think so," Rose answered before taking a deep breath and smiling at the four of us.

We all nodded, letting her know we were ready, before Trey opened the door for Rosalie's mom, closing it after her. She was then followed by Alice and Jasper. He closed it behind them and started counting…when he reached twenty he asked Bella and me if we were ready.

I held my arm out for Bella, and she linked hers through mine while she held her bouquet in the other hand. We smiled at each other before Trey opened the door again so we could walk down the aisle.

Soft music played as we headed down the aisle. There were windows on each side of the room that were opened to allow the breeze to float in. The smell of flowers and salt water filled the room. Just in front of us we could see the sun setting across the water, on the horizon. When Bella and I reached the end of the aisle we separated, going to stand in front of the altar on our respective sides.

I stood behind Jasper, who was behind Emmett. Em was shifting from foot to foot…nervously twitching in anticipation. The music that had been playing slowly faded out before the wedding march took its place. Everyone in attendance, who had been sitting, stood and faced the back of the chapel. The double doors swung open, revealing Rosalie and her father. Emmett's nervous movements suddenly halted as he stared at his bride. Rose and her dad slowly started to make their way down the aisle and I noticed Emmett quickly wipe away a tear that had started to fall down his cheek.

The moment was overwhelming. The words Emmett had spoken to Jasper and me the night before rang over and over in my mind. I looked over at Bella and saw her gently wipe a happy, sentimental tear from her eye before lifting her gaze to meet mine. I smiled at her and she returned it warmly. Neither of us could break the connection as we stared deeply into each other's eyes.

Rosalie finally reached the front where her father handed her off to Emmett before taking his seat. As the two of them turned to face each other at the altar, in front of the minister, they both reached up and brushed the tears from the other's face.

Throughout the rest of the ceremony I went from watching Rose and Emmett, to staring at Bella. She was so beautiful that I couldn't take my eyes off her for more than a few seconds at a time. She would go from laughing, to wiping a stray tear away, to looking back at me and gazing as well.

Once the bride and groom were declared man and wife and had kissed, we all started to clap. They made their way back down the aisle, out the front door of the chapel, as Bella and I were finally joined again, following Jasper and Alice out.

We all headed toward the beach to take some bridal party pictures before heading up to the cocktail hour and reception that were being held outdoors. Tables surrounded a wooden dance floor in the middle of the outdoor area that overlooked the beach and ocean. Once the DJ started to play music I grabbed Bella and spun her around. I dipped her quite low while planting a big kiss on her awaiting lips. She giggled against my mouth as I slowly brought her back up to a standing position. She ran her hands up my chest and around my neck as I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her tightly to me. We danced together next to Jasper and Alice, talking to them as we did.

The reception was tons of fun; lots of food, drinks and music. When Alice caught Rosalie's bouquet I turned and winked at Jasper, which he returned by tapping the pocket of his jacket with his hand. When I cocked my eyebrow at him curiously, he just smiled and turned away.

The night wore on and after dancing a lot I found myself sitting at our table, surrounded by Jasper and Alice, a bunch of Emmett and Rosalie's cousins, and Bella in my lap. We were all talking and laughing and enjoying the end of the party.

After about an hour we all sort of broke off into our own conversations. I moved Bella's hair off one shoulder and started to place small kisses on it and up her neck.

Her shoulders shuddered at the contact and little goose bumps spread along her skin.

"Hey, Beautiful, do you want to go for a walk on the beach?" I asked her.

She turned her head to the side so she could look at me over her shoulder.

"Uh huh," she responded. "That sounds perfect."

We stood up and I was about to tell Jasper and Alice that we were leaving, but they were already gone. So I took Bella's hand and walked down the stairs that led onto the sand. At the last step I rolled up the bottom of my tuxedo pants and then helped Bella remove her strappy, silver heels, which she held in one hand while taking my hand in the other.

We walked down close to the water, allowing the surf to run over our feet. We were silent for most of the walk, just enjoying the sounds of the ocean and the warmth of the air to stimulate our senses. After a while I let go of her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her into me while kissing the top of her head. She slid her arm around my waist and nestled into me as we continued to walk.

All of a sudden Bella stopped walking. "Edward…look," she said as she pointed down the beach.

My eyes followed her finger as I saw through the darkness the silhouette of a guy down on his knee in front of a female.

"That guy must be proposing," she said softly, clearly happy and touched to be witnessing the moment.

I smiled, knowing exactly who it was. Knowing that I was witnessing such a special moment in my baby cousin's life really overwhelmed me, and before I knew it I felt a tear slip down my face. Bella looked up at me curiously.

"Edward, are you okay? Wait a minute," she said, looking quickly to the two people down the beach, "is that Alice and Jasper?"

She looked back up at me and I smiled and nodded. "Jasper asked me last night for my permission to ask Alice to marry him," I told her.

Her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes started to well up in tears.

"Are you okay, Bella?" I asked her, not sure if she was happy or sad.

She dropped her hand and put her arms back around my waist, looking up at me as the tears continued to fall down her cheeks. "I am more than okay. I'm so happy for all of us. Each one of us are at different points in our lives, but we are all exactly where we are supposed to be…and we are all so happy. I couldn't ask for anything more," she told me.

I reached up and placed my hands on either side of her face, using my thumbs to wipe her tears away. She leaned in, laying her head on my chest as I wrapped my arms around her back and hugged her close to me as the water continued to rush over our feet.

As we stood there in silence, I started to think about where I was in my life. I knew I was truly blessed. One of my best friends just married his girl, my cousin was getting engaged to my other best friend, who was a guy who treated her better than I could have ever hoped for, and I was living with the girl of my dreams. Making a life together; moving in a definite direction for our future.

I sure as hell didn't know much about life. I unfortunately knew all too well that things could change in a heartbeat, and life as you know it can change directions in an instant. But there was one thing I was for sure of…without a shadow of a doubt. I knew right then and there that it was only a matter of time now before Isabella Swan became Isabella Cullen.

* * *

**A/N: If you would like to see pictures of Rosalie's wedding dress and the bridesmaid dresses that Alice and Bella wore, click on the link below. Just change the (dot) to an actual period.**

**i195(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/z55/PaulineAH/WeddingParty(dot)jpg**

**IMPORTANT: Holly and I are participating in The Fandom Gives Back fundraiser. We are auctioning off two things...**

**We are offering a one-shot for Edward's POV of chapter one in our story "Beautiful Stranger."**

**We are also offering an outtake of the winner's choice from either of our existing stories. Winning bidder(s) will dictate what positions/circumstances they would like to see in the story. **

**For more information please visit the following link. www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)com/**

**Thanks so much you guys for sticking with this story. We are almost done, and although it makes us sad, we have plans for another story that we will start once this one is done. We will also post some outtakes for this story once it is complete…but we still have a few more chapters to go, so I won't get ahead of myself.**

**Please, as always, click the little review button below and tell us what you thought. We don't know you are out there unless you talk to us. **

**Thanks,  
Pauline & Holly  
xoxo**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: I'm not even going to go into excuses as to why it has been over a month since we last updated. It won't happen again…really.**

**Thank you so much to our beta, SweetDulcinea. She has not only helped us become better at grammar...but also better writers! We love you!**

**We were so honored that two lovely ladies cared so much and ended up winning an outtake and a one-shot written by us for the Fandom Gives Back auction. Thank you to Swino16 and ChiTwiGal for your support for such a wonderful cause. They have come up with a few awesome ideas that Pauline and I have already begun mapping out. **

**Fic Rec: "If You Only Knew" by ChiTwiGal. This is her very first go at writing a story, so please show her some support and read it. It's only a few chapters in, but it's good. I have the pleasure of being one of her pre-readers for this story and I hope you give it a chance. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns everything and I don't think she digs Twilight Fanfiction so much, but that's too damn bad. She should be honored that so many have been inspired by her characters that we would want to use them to be creative. **

**Meanwhile, Pauline and I are trying to peel ourselves off the floor after looking at those mouthwatering, panty melting pics of Rob in a tux smoking a ciggie on the WFE set. I'm not even kidding, there needs to be some support group formed for people like us who just cannot get enough of him. It makes me giddy and depressed at the same time.**

**

* * *

*****Bella***

"Are there any more boxes, Bells? Or are we finished?" Jasper asked, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand as he walked out of my classroom closet.

Quickly scanning my now empty, barren classroom, I shook my head. "Nope. Our work is done here. Or shall I say _your _work is done here. Thank you so much, Jas, for helping me stow away those ridiculously heavy boxes. I was getting a hernia just watching you," I giggled, bumping his shoulder with mine.

The last day of school was finally here…another year under my teaching belt. Another class gone, and hopefully they were more educated and wiser than when they first walked over the threshold of my room.

The school year had literally flown by and my current emotional state compared to last year's fucked up mess was staggering. Last June, I had been so numb; I barely got through the last few weeks of school. It was as though I was a completely different person since then. I was practically floating on a cloud, except I definitely wasn't watching life pass me by in a blur. Rather, I had a strong sense of control over it and I was ecstatic that I was actually living my life the way I desired. Why wouldn't I be? I was living with my boyfriend, the love of my existence, content with my job, and I had the most remarkable set of loyal and loving friends imaginable.

Having been tightly bound mind, body, and soul to Edward and emotionally to Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper, one would think I needed a little breathing space…some _me_ time, so as to not lose my sense of self before I felt suffocated or trapped. However, that wasn't the case.

I had never felt so self-assured and free in all my life. _So this is what happiness truly feels like…_

Smiling from my thoughts, something flashed over and over before my eyes, breaking me from my dreamy trance. I blinked and noticed that it was Jasper waving his hand in front of me.

"Hey, where'd you go just now?" he laughed.

"Nowhere. Just thinking about how happy I am and how I am going to miss my class," I sighed. Yes, even though I had been given the behaviorally challenged kids, I still was able to reach each and every one of them in their own way. I felt proud of that.

"Okay, now the heat is really making you delirious. You'll miss your class? Seriously, have you forgotten that we were book buddies and I had gotten to know your little devils fairly well?" He was actually stunned by my words as he pulled me toward the doorway and into the hall. "Alright, let's go. Alice is waiting with her annual celebratory cocktails in honor of us, so let's get a move on. I don't want to keep my fiancée waiting." Jasper smiled a big toothy grin.

He was adorable. Ever since Jasper had proposed to Alice in Hawaii a couple of months ago, he reveled in referring to Alice as his fiancée or wife-to-be. Of course, Alice's face lit up at her new little pet name. I couldn't be happier for them, considering I had witnessed their budding relationship from the very beginning.

Imagining Edward calling me his wife sent tingles of excitement throughout my body. He was it…the man I was destined to be with until the day that I die…even in my afterlife. I felt it in every fiber of my being that he was without a doubt made for me.

The old Bella would have cowered and scoffed at that thought, considering all the turmoil and hell Jake had put me through. God, I had been so damn bitter, so closed off to the very idea of tying myself to anyone ever again. However, I had been irrevocably changed for the better over the course of this school year…and I owed that all to my Edward. He was my life, my everything, my forever. I embraced that fact, hoping beyond all hope that Edward indeed felt the same way. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't doubting my man at all, but helping Rose plan her dream wedding and being an important part of her monumental day made my dreams of solidifying my bond to Edward before God and all of our loved ones more prominent…dancing at the forefront of my mind.

Perhaps it was a matter of time…who the hell knew. I wasn't going to fill my head with crazy fantasies or wanton expectations. Edward loved me…I knew that without a shadow of a doubt he was very happy with me. That man had gone through his own personal hell losing Tanya. He had shared a home with her and wanted to build a life with her. Shit, Edward was supposed to _propose_ to her, but he never got that chance because she died so tragically.

A teeny tiny part of me was skeptical that he would ever ask me to marry him because that would only dredge up an excruciatingly painful memory, tainting his thoughts so much that he would never want to think about asking for someone's hand in marriage ever again. Edward had proven to me time and time again that he was invested in our relationship and that his love for me was unconditional, so there were no doubts in the longevity of our relationship. Rather, I was a bit uncertain it would ever be taken to that next level because of his emotional scars.

Yet, I absolutely refused to let those thoughts engulf me, dragging me into the darkness I had only been pulled from less than a year ago.

**OooO**

True to her word, upon entering Jasper and Alice's apartment, that little pixie greeted us with margaritas in honor of another successful school year passing. Every year, Alice would cook a themed dinner for us in recognition of our teaching careers. You would think Alice was some doting mom the way she beamed with pride as we recalled the past ten months with our students while munching on tacos.

"Bella, should I save my cousin some tacos?" Alice questioned as she began to clear the table of our tasty meal.

Instantly, I shot up to help her. I wasn't going to let her clean up by herself after taking her time in preparing dinner for us. "Nah, don't bother, Ali. Edward isn't coming home tonight I don't think."

"Wow, really? Isn't this like the third night this week that he has worked a double shift?"

"Yeah. He's been working so hard lately. And with the summer beginning, a lot of the guys who have families like to take their vacation this time of year. So he has been offering to cover their shifts," I sighed, shrugging my shoulders.

For the past few weeks, Edward had been working overtime shifts whenever they became available and because he was so willing to clock as many bankable hours as he could, he was always the first person who was asked. At first, a fleeting thought crept into my head that Edward was growing tired of being around me all the time and that he needed some space.

That line of thinking was quickly squashed when the light bulb turned on in my brain. Since returning from the wedding, Emmett and Edward were relinquished from dispatch and truck driving duty, meaning they had received medical clearance from their doctors that they were physically ready and able to get in on the action and fight fires again. I had a sneaky suspicion that my boyfriend wanted to work all these extra hours because he was chomping at the bit to go out on a real fire call, placing himself in the center of danger. Yes, I was aware that it was the nature of the beast and that he had willingly chosen this heroic profession, but it didn't mean I had to necessarily like it one bit.

Not wanting to cause strain in our relationship by voicing my fears, sounding like a broken record, I decided that arguing about it was futile. Eventually, I would have to stop thinking that every time Edward entered a burning building he wouldn't come back out in one piece. I knew that he was extremely good at his job, but it was difficult for me to trust that he wouldn't get severely injured again. I knew that if I ever mentioned this to Edward, he would accuse me of not trusting that he was taking every precaution available to keep himself out of harm's way.

That was where my plaguing thoughts made me feel conflicted. Firefighters were heroic and selfless. They had to sacrifice their safety in order to rescue others, if need be, taking care of their needs and returning them to safety. But who was taking care of these firefighters while they were busting through doors, running up and down countless flights of stairs and literally walking through burning flames making sure that everyone was accounted for and not forgotten? Who was looking over and rescuing those brave men and women, seeing that _they_ exited a burning structure intact? That's why I both loved and hated what Edward did for a living…and it made me feel awful because it took a special kind of person to be a firefighter. How could I have feelings of hatred over an occupation I admired so much?

"Well, I certainly hope he's not working a double on his birthday. Are we still on for cooking Edward a special dinner at your place?" Alice asked, her voice raising an octave. Alice was _all_ about celebrating birthdays.

My teeth sunk into my lower lip out of nervousness as I began to answer my dear friend. She was not going to like this at all. "Yeah…about that. Uh, Edward told me this morning that he decided to work on his birthday. I was going to bring him some take-out if he was allotted some spare time for a little birthday dinner."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Alice's mouth was agape with shock and her eyes were trying to burn holes in my head so I would look up at her. Instead of meeting her glare, I finished putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and then moved to the dining room to wipe the table clean.

Of course Alice followed me, her voice a clear indicator that she was not so pleased with her cousin. "What the hell is wrong with him, Bella?" she boomed. "It's his birthday for Christ's sake! Why wouldn't he want to spend it at home with us…or even at home with you alone?"

"Beats me, Alice. I asked him if it was because he didn't want us to make a big fuss about his day, but he promised me that wasn't it. He claimed that he just felt like he should be working as much as he could because he wanted to make up for lost time due to the accident months ago. How can I argue with that?"

Standing upright again, I faced my friend and gave her a small smile, my eyes pleading with her not to get angry at Edward. Alice's face was still hard, but a contemplative look mingled with her angry features while she stood before me at the opposite end of the dining room table with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Of course you can argue with that," she started. "Bella, it seems as though he's never around when he _has_ the option to be relaxing at home and spending time with us…with _you_. He's choosing work over you, don't you see that? Why aren't you upset at this? I get that he wants to work some huge fire again, but that doesn't mean he has to accept _every_ overtime offer he is given. There _has_ to be more to this."

Alice grimaced, scrunching her eyebrows together in thought. She was really affected by this and she was beginning to make me feel as though I had been too complacent with Edward and not really asking _why_ he chose to work so much. _Ugh!_ She was planting a seed of doubt, making my body temperature rise as the fear that Edward wanted some distance from me started to creep in my head like a looming black cloud.

I shook my head as though that action would erase the negativity. I made my way over to where Jasper was sitting on the couch watching TV in the living room and when he took notice of my presence, he glanced up at me. Giving me a sad looking smile, he said nothing as he patted the area next to him, inviting me to sit. It made me feel a bit uneasy as I sat down.

_Does Jasper know the real reason why Edward's working non-stop? Has Edward admitted that he may not want to live with me anymore?_

Alice was pacing the floor behind us, mumbling to herself. She looked up at the ceiling, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

"Al, please stop thinking so much about Edward and come over and watch some TV with us," Jasper sighed.

"Honey, I am just trying to figure my cousin out," Alice responded, listening to her fiancée's request by snuggling up to his side.

Leaning over Jasper, she fired more questions at me. She seemed to have calmed down a little, but I could tell that she was still pissed. "Bella, are you two having financial difficulties?" she asked softly, the slight pity lacing her voice.

"What? Alice, we do not have any money issues. I cannot believe you just asked me that," I scoffed, a little offended that she would think the worst.

"Has he taken up gambling or anything? Does he mention wanting to go to Vegas or Reno? Is he really going to work or is he playing cards with the guys at someone's house?" _Well now she's just getting a little crazy about this! Does she seriously think Edward had some gambling problem and that he was racking up massive amounts of debts?_

Laughing at her ridiculous theory, Jasper piped in before I could form a response. "Sweetheart, seriously? Do you honestly feel that Edward has a gambling problem? I think you are reading way too much into this and you need to let it go. Maybe Edward wants to work more because he feels inadequate if he doesn't show everyone at the station that he is one hundred percent healed…that his body and his mind can handle it. I know Emmett feels like that at times."

"Yeah, but Emmett isn't working as much overtime as Edward," I countered.

Now _I_ was thinking too much about this. _Thanks, Alice! _Maybe Jasper was right…maybe Edward was feeling as though he wasn't pulling his weight enough for his brothers. Maybe this had nothing to do with me at all. _God, I hoped so._

"My cousin has always been careful with his spending. Edward can be quite the saver at times. Bells, have you noticed any large sums of money being withdrawn from your account?" Geez, now Alice was sounding like a damn criminal investigator.

"Alice…" Jasper sighed softly, but he didn't continue speaking.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Edward and I have a joint account to pool our money in for living expenses like the rent, utility bills, and groceries. We still have our own separate accounts for everything else. Look, I understand that you are upset with Edward because he hasn't been around as much, but please stop trying to come up with conspiracy theories that leave my boyfriend as an extortionist with a severe gambling problem."

"Oh god," Alice whispered as she placed her hand over her mouth.

"What is it?" Jasper turned to Alice, wrapping his arm tighter around her.

Alice looked up at him, her eyes suddenly a tad glassy as she closed her eyes and rubbed her temples with her fingers in circular motions. "What if my cousin is involved with another woman and he's just pretending to work those extra hours when really he's with her?" she theorized softly, her head tilted towards her lap.

"_What?"_ Jasper and I gawked at the same time, our eyes wide with disbelief.

Oh hell no…she just did _not_ go there! I may not have known the real reason why Edward was working himself to the bone, but what I was certain about was his love and commitment to me and our relationship. Alice had definitely gone overboard. She was acting so irrationally that this conversation needed to end…now! Her cold and tactless assumptions made me irate; I seriously wanted to punch her in her jaw just so she would shut the hell up.

Jasper shot up from the couch, taking his deranged little sidekick with him. Taking Alice by the hand a little forcibly, startling her back from the planet she was currently living on, he addressed her in an authoritative manner, as though he was reprimanding one of his students.

"Alright, that's enough out of you. What is wrong with you? How could you say something so insensitive…so untrue to your best friend like that? This is Edward you're talking about and he is definitely _not_ the type to go philandering about with some random woman behind Bella's back."

Alice just blinked up at him, her lips sealed together. I hoped Jasper startled some sense into her. He wasn't angry; I just think he was as dumfounded as I was at the situations Alice was coming up with.

Jasper closed his eyes, letting out a long sigh before he turned his attention to me. "We'll be right back- I have to talk some sense into my wife–to–be over here. Please don't go anywhere."

I simply nodded, completely at a loss on how to even respond. I knew Alice was trying to solve some mystery, but frankly, I really didn't think there was a mystery to be deciphered. _You gotta love her for her gusto, though._

All this talk about Edward was making me miss him terribly. I felt my resolve slipping as I fished for my cell phone from my pocket, considering texting Edward to see what he was up to. Why did Alice have to jump to such crazy conclusions like that? Why did it seem as though she had absolutely no faith in her cousin, automatically thinking the worst, thus infecting my mind with worry? Clutching my cell phone in my hand, I decided that I was going to leave Edward alone since he was working.

Staring blankly at some stupid reality TV show, my head was clouded with one particular thought stemming from what Alice had said. _What if Edward is really seeing someone on the side? It would be easy to lie about working an overtime shift, especially if Emmett wasn't working._

No, I was not going to start travelling down that road, as that would only lead to serious trouble if I began to become some untrusting, neurotic girlfriend. Edward loved me and that was that.

Sighing, I ran my hands over my face just as Alice and Jasper reappeared. Now Alice had some goofy smile on her face while she stared in my direction, plopping down next to me. I smiled slightly, shaking my head at my extremely strange friend. I ruffled the top of her head with my fingers as she shot me the most peculiar starry-eyed glance.

"Are you feeling better, Ali? Did Jasper shake the crazies out of you?" I honestly believed that Jasper must have promised her some sexual favor in return for her silence and closure on our discussion the way she was beaming. Her smile was infectious, so I couldn't help but flash her one of my own. I didn't want to argue and be pissed with Alice.

"Yes," she answered. Her bright smile faded when she started speaking again, her hands covering mine. "Listen, I'm really sorry, Bella. It wasn't my intention to say anything hurtful and to make you feel lousy over Edward. I just wanted some answers for you because I care…and well, now that I have the re…" she trailed off quickly, not finishing her explanation.

Staring blankly at Alice, I decided that I was too tired to crack Alice's strange verbal code. So, I glanced at Jasper who just shrugged his shoulders, flipping through the TV channels with the remote.

"He loves you, Bella." Alice stated with conviction.

"Um…yes, I am aware of that."

"No, he _really_ loves you…like a lot." She nodded her head as though she were trying to convince me she was speaking the truth.

"I know and I love him just as much, which is why your theories were so shocking, yet so damn amusing at the same time."

Alice flung her arms around my neck as she brought me into a tight squeeze. "Oh Bella, you have no idea how happy that makes me!"

"Okay, are we good here? Because I would like to have some more margaritas," Jasper stated, cocking an arched eyebrow in our direction.

"Yes, please let's drink some more," I laughed as I tried to peel my friend from my sitting form.

Yup, Alice was one strange bird.

***OoO***

The sound of my cell phone ringing on my bedside table woke me with a jolt. I shot up, rubbing my eyes and leaning over to check the time on my alarm clock.

_Who the hell is calling me at two o'clock in the morning?_

Taking my phone in my hands, I saw the one name I had hoped to have never seen at this hour.

_Rosalie_.

Instantly, the fear and dread ignited every nerve ending in my body, my skin prickling as the most horrific scenes flashed before my eyes like some scary slideshow that wouldn't shut off.

Soon after Emmett and Edward had gotten full medical clearance to be able to return to work in a normal capacity, Rose and I quickly devised a plan because we were never going to remain in the dark regarding our men's whereabouts when they went on a fire call again. We were so emotionally scarred from that awful night because we were literally in the dark. We knew nothing and had to wait until their co-workers were ready to feed us any bits of information regarding the accident.

So Rosalie and I approached Tyler about becoming our informant, so to speak. He was hesitant at first because they really weren't supposed to divulge any information about the calls they went on until they got the okay to do so. However, when we explained to him what it felt like to not know a damn thing about what happened to our loved ones while they were lying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines, IV drips and in a coma, he complied with our simple request immediately, stating he would want someone to let his girlfriend know the details if anything happened to him.

Our communication system worked efficiently. Whenever Tyler was working with either Edward or Emmett, or both, he would text Rosalie with the important details of each fire call they responded to. It didn't matter whether or not he was on dispatch duty or riding on a truck; he would honor our favor.

The only thing we begged and pleaded for was that he never utter a word about our agreement to Edward or Emmett. They would definitely flip out on Tyler and they would not be extremely pleased with the two of us for checking up on them while they worked, as though we didn't trust that they could handle their jobs.

Luckily, most of their calls were bogus ones like, a random fire alarm being set off or gas smell complaints. Sometimes, they did actually have to extinguish a fire, but we were relieved that they were small ones rather than huge blazes.

Unfortunately, that was not the case tonight.

"Rosalie? What happened?" I tried to keep my voice level, trying not to overreact.

She was sniffling, which meant she had been crying.

_Shit. This is not good_.

"Bella…oh god…it's a five alarm one. It's a residential home. Tyler said from the looks of the blaze that the fire started in the basement. Em and Edward were on the first ladder truck to respond…and neither was the driver."

_Fuck_. At least when one of them was the driver, they didn't have to get out of the damn truck. They obviously had to now.

My ears began to ring as my pulse rapidly thudded. The tears welled and it only took seconds for them to trail down my cheeks. I grew hot and dizzy recalling that Edward and Emmett had been the ones to investigate the basement of that abandoned building from the fire that occurred what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Are you, okay? Do you want some company?" My lip was quivering so much and there was a huge lump planted in my throat, I was amazed that I could actually speak.

"Gosh, I would love that, but what happens if we fall asleep again on the couch like we did that last time with all our snotty tissues sprinkled about? We were almost busted by Emmett."

"Well, how about we just periodically call one another if we feel up to it when we need the support? Obviously, if Tyler alerts you to anything else, call me. I'm going to lie down on the couch so I can hear Edward when he gets in. He'll just assume I fell asleep watching TV again."

"Good idea, I'll do the same." Rosalie exhaled loudly. "Bella…I'm scared."

"I know, Rose. Me, too." My voiced cracked, which opened the floodgates to my emotions even more.

"Shh…it's okay. They'll be fine. Our guys are strong and they know what they are doing. They'll come home to us…right?" Rose cooed softly through the phone. She was trying to make us both feel better, trying to sound confident, but we were both uncertain.

"R-right. Let's think good thoughts, okay? You call me the moment you hear anything, Rosalie," I sobbed to my equally distressed friend.

"Always, Bella. Love you."

"Love you right back. Good thoughts Rose…remember," I whispered my order to her before hanging up the phone.

I pushed myself to get out of bed, wobbling down the hall in the dark as I made it to the couch and lay down, clutching the phone to my chest. Grabbing the remote, I turned the TV on to a random channel, putting the sound on mute. I didn't want to hear anything but the sound of my rapidly beating heart, each pound banging against my chest offering a silent mantra that the guys would arrive home and unharmed.

…_and with their memories intact_.

The moment I heard the faintest tinkling sound of keys trying to unlock a door, I jumped right up into a standing position and my phone dropped to the floor with a loud thump. My swift movements made me feel lightheaded, causing me to sway. I had no clue as to what time it was, but the apartment was still rather dark, so the sun hadn't come up yet.

As I heard the door open, I ran as fast as my feet would take me towards the door, practically gliding over the wood floors. I was met with a little resistance as I tried to fling open the door. Whoever was on the other side had let go of the knob while I was pulling it towards me, which resulted in me stumbling back. When I got my bearings back again, I lifted my head and was met with the most devastatingly beautiful green eyes.

"Edward?" I breathed. I couldn't move. I needed him to speak so I knew he was real.

"Baby? What are you doing up at this hour?" He was inching closer and I still couldn't move. My eyes were darting every which way, scanning the length of his body, checking for any injuries. Then my eyes made their way to his gorgeous face and I noticed that he looked a little flushed and his hair was wet. He must have showered at the fire house before he came home.

"I-I fell asleep on the couch and I heard you opening the door. It startled me." I was still unable to find my voice.

"Aw, I'm sorry, Beautiful," he said in a quiet, deep voice while he turned to shut the door. Closing the small gap between us, he cocked his head to the side and smiled. His hand cupped the side of my face, the feeling of his large, strong hand jolting me back to life. I blinked in recognition, mirroring his head movement.

"Hey. Are you okay?" he asked, stroking his thumb along my cheekbone.

For some reason, I didn't answer him. I really felt as though I was dreaming and I was so afraid that if I spoke, I would wake up alone. So, I just gazed into his eyes entranced by his presence.

"Bella?" Edward called my attention more loudly.

"What?"

"Bella, you're really scaring me. Baby, are you alright?" He had placed both hands on the sides of my face, standing up straighter so he could really assess me.

"You said my name. You know who I am?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Of course I know who you are. What happened, Bella? What's got you so spooked?" Edward was beyond concerned at this point. His voice sounded so worried and apprehensive that all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him tightly, cradle him against my chest and never let go.

"A fire…there was a fire tonight. You were there and I was scared…so scared," I choked out, beginning to quietly sob.

"Please don't cry, Beautiful. I'm here now." Edward leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead and proceeded to gently wipe away my tears.

Closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply, soaking in his fresh, soapy scent.

"You're safe…and you remember me," I breathed, a content smile forming on my lips.

Edward let out a deep sigh and pulled me into a tight embrace. Instantly, I wound my arms around his waist…just like I wanted to do. "Oh, my Bella. Always worrying too much. What occurred before was an unfortunate accident and I am all healed now. You know I would always find my way back to you no matter what happened to me. I was tested on that theory…and I fought for you. I'll always fight for you. I would never give up."

I lifted my head so I could take a good look at him, causing me to back up a bit. "I love you, Edward." I smiled, relieved that my guy really was okay and actually standing in front of me.

"I love you too, my sweet girl."

Edward's hands were back to cradling my face as he leaned in to brush his lips against mine. The feeling of his lips capturing mine while he teeth gently nipped and tugged on them ignited such feelings of desire that I needed more. Tilting my head to the side, I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss. The instant our tongues danced together, energy surged throughout my body. My hands threaded through his hair as I pulled him as close as he could possibly get. Edward moaned in response and the feel of his erection long and hard against my upper thigh only spurred me on further as I shamelessly grinded against him.

Edward's hands roamed the length of my back as he began to trail open mouthed kisses behind my ear and down the side of my neck. Now it was my turn to moan. It had been too long since we were intimate because of Edward working all the time, so I knew I didn't need a lot of foreplay before I was ready to be consumed by him. I was already aching and extremely wet.

When Edward's hands firmly gripped my ass, I knew he was ready as well. Jumping slightly, my legs wrapped around his waist as he steadily held me and started to make his way to our bedroom. No whispered murmurs of _I miss you_ were needed…the frantic shedding of our clothing and the way he thrusted in and out of me with such force that made my toes curl was proof enough we held an insatiable need for one another.

Edward showed me just how much he missed me, worshiping my body ever so slowly…with his tongue, suspending me on an endless orgasmic cloud. Taking my time, I brought him to the edge and back with my firm but drawn out strokes and with the endless teasing of my tongue. When I had finally taken all of his smooth hardness into my mouth, letting the head of his cock hit the back of my throat, Edward gripped the hair at the back of my head while allowing me to show just how much I desired him. And when he found his release, my name rolled off his tongue as though it was some sacred prayer filled with feelings of such reverence and devotion.

We made love one more time that morning before we fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up five hours later, Edward was gone. He was working…again.

**~OooO~**

One week later Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and I surprised Edward and the guys who were working a shift at the fire house with dinner. It was June twentieth, Edward's birthday, and siding with Alice, I didn't think it was right that Edward would spend his day apart from us. We decided to bring the party to him. Needless to say, he was very happy as he was in such an uplifting mood. Even his firehouse buddies were more jovial than usual, teasing Edward about some inside joke that apparently the rest of us weren't privy to. Edward would take the harmless banter in stride, smiling widely as he snaked his arms around me and never let me go. Even my friends were so happy around me lately, the feeling so contagious that I couldn't help but be overly happy, too.

When it came time to open presents everyone moved to the living room area. Edward pulled me onto his lap, occasionally stealing kisses from me as he cheerfully tore the wrapping paper off his gifts.

He left my gift for last and when he opened it, his eyes lit up as he held up the two pieces of paper for everyone to see.

"Plane tickets to Chicago…for August? But how did you…"

"Edward," Alice interrupted, "isn't that so sweet of Bella to plan a mini vacation around the same time Jasper and I are going to visit your parents to scout out wedding reception venues?" Alice said, arching an eyebrow as if she were trying to silently convey something to her cousin. I didn't understand it, but I decided not to question her tone.

"Yeah, Alice told me she wanted my and Rose's help in planning her wedding. So since it's going to be in Chicago, I called your mother to ask if she wouldn't mind four extra people staying in her house. Of course, Esme said _yes_." I stated quietly. I hoped he wouldn't be upset that my gift was visiting his parents.

"I can't wait to see the city and shop along the _Magnificent Mile_," Rosalie gushed.

"Plus, we wouldn't miss this trip for the world," Emmett chimed in, smiling and nodding at Edward.

"You see, my dear Eddie, won't it be great that we're all there together at the same time?" Alice clapped her hands and even let out a small _squee_.

_Wow, I can't believe my friends are so excited. I am too, but it's not like we were going on a European vacation or something. _

"Well, Alice, it's certainly very…convenient that we are all staying at my parent's house," Edward replied, smirking and shaking his head.

I nudged Edward's shoulder to get his attention. "Do you not want to go?" I suddenly felt bad thinking maybe I should have run the trip by him first.

"Of course I want to go, Baby. I would love to go back there with you. Not to mention I haven't seen my parents since Christmas." Edward's lips formed a lopsided smile and I melted. "Thank you, Bella. You've made my birthday very special."

"You're very welcome. It was my pleasure," I smiled, leaning in to press my lips against his.

Edward curled his fingers into my waist, gripping my tightly. He brought his mouth close to my ear, his hot breath tickling me as he whispered, "Beautiful, when I get home later tonight, the pleasure's going to be all _mine_."

**~OooO~**

Three weeks later, on a Friday night, I was looking forward to a nice, romantic evening with my boyfriend, whom I hadn't been able to spend quality time with lately. Edward was still working double shifts more often than not. I tried not to let it get to me, but I couldn't shake this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was off. I didn't want to become some nagging, paranoid girlfriend who would inevitably push him away, so I opted to remain silent and supportive.

Edward realized I missed him terribly at times…I told him as such, but he still continued on without a plausible explanation. It's not as though I was losing my trust in him, but how could I truly believe he loved me and wanted to be with me when he hadn't spent enough alone time with me in three months? I tried to be understanding, hiding my disappointment by sucking it up and occasionally going out with Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. It was just like old times with me being the fifth wheel and all…and forget about voicing my concerns to them. Clearly they were opting to defend Edward by dismissing my reasoning, stating that Edward was working really hard to prove himself…blah, blah, blah…even though he was accepted into the brotherhood, he was still low man on the totem pole since he hadn't been there a full year yet…blah, blah, blah…don't worry, this won't last forever…

_Blah, blah, blah_. I was losing patience at an alarming rate, and I was going to blow any day now.

Since I didn't work during the summer months, I had a lot of spare time to do as I pleased. When Alice opened her boutique a few years ago, I had volunteered my services during my summer vacations to help Alice with her Fall inventory. We would usually go over her new season's fashion line that had been shipped to her store. She would sketch and create her deigns and then had a team in Los Angeles who would help transform her paper sketches into real articles of clothing, as Alice was still trying to branch out and couldn't handle everything on her own. I would help sort through her shipments, check the clothing for any manufacturer flaws, steam and press the clothing. Alice would tag and hang them, making them ready for display and sale.

We would have a blast staying up late together, drinking some wine, chatting while working our asses off. Sometimes we would even sleep there, but we didn't care. So, I felt kind of bad when I had to cancel my plans to help Alice. I told her I would come over first thing Saturday morning, that I needed this Friday date with Edward to reconnect with him.

Unfortunately, Edward had other plans.

Getting dressed in my cutest strapless pink sundress, I made sure I pinned my hair up to show as much skin as possible. Edward loved when my neck and shoulders were exposed. I smiled at that thought as I heard my man walk into our apartment.

Walking over to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and reached up to give him a kiss. "Hey," I said softly.

"Hi, Baby." He backed away from me slightly so he could rake his eyes over me. "Wow, you look gorgeous. Let me just grab a quick shower and then we can go out."

Fifteen minutes later Edward came out from our room…wearing the same clothes he wore earlier today- his work clothes. He hadn't showered, either. He was on the phone speaking in hushed tones and by the time he reached me, he snapped the phone shut, ending his conversation.

His face looked so remorseful that I had to look away. I had a feeling what he was going to say. My stomach was in knots.

He took my hand in his, while his thumb gently stroked my knuckles. "Um, Bella? I'm needed down at the station to cover for Mike. Would you mind if we postponed our date until tomorrow or Sunday?" he asked, rather hesitantly I might add.

Well, that was it. I had finally reached my boiling point. The excited butterflies in my stomach had turned into angry hornets trying to swarm their way out of my body, not caring who or what they stung along the way.

_Enough is fucking enough!_

I tore my hand from his as though his touch was scorching me…and not in the good way either. My face grew hot and I could feel the flush along my chest, the anger surging through my veins.

"Actually, yes I _would_ mind, very much!" I seethed.

His face fell, his lips curving down into a frown. "I'm sorry, Baby…it's just that…it's really important I be there tonight. We can go out some other time."

I scoffed. "Seriously? You have got to be fucking kidding me. Edward, you just got home from work only to rush off fifteen minutes later? What? You don't like coming home anymore?"

"Of course I like coming home. You're here, Baby." God, how I wished I could just believe him now.

Taking tentative step towards me, he reached out and tried to touch my shoulder, but I shrugged it away. I didn't want to hear his cooing voice or feel his hands on me at the moment.

"Don't…just don't, Edward. We had a date tonight. You promised me you would make time for me. I have been nothing but supportive and patient, not complaining one damn bit, but this is fucking ridiculous! I get that you love your job and are good at it, I really do. But why are you working so damn much? Why can't you just leave at the end of your shift and come home to me, hang out with _me_, the person you are _supposed_ to love? Why is it that you have to try and put out every damn burning building in Seattle like you are the only one qualified to do so? What the fuck are you trying to prove, Edward…that you're Superman or something?"

My arms were flailing around at this point and I most likely looked like a lunatic over the edge, especially since my voice was reaching octaves I never knew existed. However, I had opened the floodgates within, bearing the pent up emotions I had kept hidden away for too long.

Edward was trying to control his rising temper while I went off on my tirade. He was clenching his fists at his sides, speaking calmly. "No, I don't think I am Superman, Bella. I'm not trying to prove anything; I just love doing my job…plain and simple."

"Bullshit!" I spat. "You've been panting like a dog in heat since you got your precious medical clearance for the chance to run through flames and take careless risks with your life. It's not enough that you almost lost your life…your fucking brain function once! No, _you_ have to try again and again to see if you can push the boundaries of your physical limits."

"I do not take careless risks with my life! I can't believe you just fucking said that to me. You're damn right I'm going to push myself because that's in my nature to do so. It's who I am and it's what makes me a damn good fire fighter! And stop throwing that fucking accident in my face like some trump card you pull out whenever you think it will help you get your way, trying to make me feel more fucking guilty than I already have. That shit happens once in a while…it called an occupational hazard. Not everything I do is going to involve rescuing fucking kittens from a damn tree!"

Edward slammed his hand against the counter, the anger evident in his voice. I flinched at his action, but that didn't stop me from firing right back at him.

"Oh come on, I know that! I'm not an idiot, Edward." I sneered sarcastically.

Edward crossed his arms defiantly against his chest. "You know that, huh? Then why is it you have Tyler informing you of my every move whenever I go out on a call?"

My eyes grew wide. _Shit…busted._ My silence was a clear indication that I was guilty as charged, but I didn't cower. I stood taller, rounding my shoulders back, ready to take the lecture he was no doubt going to give me. Edward scoffed and shook his head dismissively.

"Well, I'm glad that you aren't going to lie to me and deny it. Did you honestly think I would never find out? That I never noticed Tyler typing away on his phone the minute I made a move? I guess you think I'm the fucking idiot."

My head hung low, breaking our intense stare off. "No I don't," I answered, my voice quiet and remorseful.

Edward sighed deeply. "Bella, you can't stop me from doing what I need to do when I am on the clock. I don't check up on how you do your job and I don't appreciate your checking up on how I do mine. Neither does Emmett, by the way."

"I'm not sorry for asking Tyler to do that for me and Rosalie. We just wanted to be prepared in case something ever happened again. How long have you known anyway?" My head lifted and I was met with his conflicted gaze.

"Since the first time it happened. One of the guys had overheard Tyler talking with Rose and he gave me and Emmett a heads up. We wanted to wait a little bit to see if it was true. We made sure that Tyler was with us and sure enough, he would diligently contact you two, alerting you to our whereabouts. Bella, you have got to quit thinking that every damn time I leave our home that I am going to get horribly injured. Tyler's not giving you or Rosalie any more information." His voice was even now, but I could still hear a trace of irritability.

Tears began to sting my eyes. "I'm trying, I really am, but it's so hard when you are gone. I miss you and I feel like you don't even care," I admitted, wiping the stray tears that had begun to fall.

Edward's shoulders slumped. He looked so damn tired. Why couldn't he just take a break?

"Your happiness is everything to me, Baby. I care more for you than is humanly possible; believe me." He took a couple of steps closer towards me.

"Spending time with you tonight would make me so happy, Edward. Don't you want to?" My voice cracked and my watery eyes were trying to convey the longing I had for him.

"Yes, but I…I can't," he whispered. His features were etched with such sadness.

"Why not?"

"Because I have to go to work."

I closed my eyes and shook my head as more tears streamed down my face. He wasn't going to be with me and all I wanted to know was _why_. Maybe Alice was right all those weeks ago. Maybe Edward was seeing someone on the side. Maybe he was saving money to be with _her_.

Edward was mere inches from my face. He wiped the tears from my eyes all the while flashing me an expression that could only be described as guilt.

"Edward, why are you working so much?"

Dropping his hands, he raked his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends. He was definitely stressed.

"It's just something I have to do right now. It won't be for much longer, I promise."

"That's not much of an explanation. I deserve some answers, Edward." I said forcibly, resting my hands on my hips. "What are you hiding from me? Why can't you just talk to me?"

"Bella, I don't want to fight with you," he sighed, rolling his eyes. "I'm tired, stressed and would give anything to get some fucking sleep right now. Just know that I'm doing this for us, okay?"

This conversation wasn't getting us anywhere. I needed to get out to clear my head. _I guess I can help Alice out after all._

"That's not good enough for me," I snapped. "Whatever, you go do what you _need _to do. I'm going out and I don't know what time I will be back." I turned, grabbed my purse from the stool behind me and stormed to the door, opening it with a little too much force.

Whipping my head around, I looked back at Edward, not caring if he was pissed or upset, and let out an angry laugh. "Then again, it's not like you would even know when I got back since you're never here. So go to work; I really don't care right now. I'll see you when I see you."

I stormed out quickly, slamming the door and not bothering to wait a few seconds to see if he would come after me. I didn't want to feel the disappointment if he didn't. Instead of waiting for the elevator, I practically glided down three flights of stairs to catch the elevator on a different floor.

My emotions were darting from sadness to extreme anger. I furiously wiped the tears from my eyes, not giving a shit if I looked like some rabid raccoon. I was so frustrated at myself for crying. I didn't want to shed any more tears; I hated this so damn much. When I left our building, I was lucky enough to hail a taxi right away, bringing me to the one person who would make me feel better at a time like this.

**~OooO~**

The boutique was still open with a few customers still shopping. The employees knew me well enough to know that I could just come and go as I pleased, which was why they didn't give me a problem when I made my way down the narrow hallway in the back towards Alice's office. Her door was slightly open and I saw that she was on the phone with a pensive look on her face. I decided to wait before entering, giving her some privacy, but I could still hear her conversation…and she sounded pissed as I heard her one-sided conversation:

"_That's just great. Now what are you going to do?"_

"_Well, I can't fix this one my own, you know. You need to help out, considering this was your idea."_

"_You're damn right I'm angry! You can't put it all on me to make this better."_

Her voice was softer when she spoke again. _"I know you feel horrible. Just hearing your voice is tearing me up inside. Maybe you should have gone about it differently."_

"_Stop. It'll be okay. You better not do anything rash, you hear me?"_

I accidentally dropped my bag, alerting Alice of my presence. She jumped up and opened the door wider. She took one look at me and knew that I needed her desperately to comfort me.

"Oh, Bella," she said with such pity.

Alice grabbed my hand and led me to the couch and motioned with her hand for me to sit. She held up her finger to signal that she would be right with me since she was still on the phone.

She turned away from me, taking a few steps towards her desk. She made her voice quieter, but I heard her anyway. Alice was never a very good whisperer.

"Uh huh, you would be correct in your earlier assumption."

Turning slightly, Alice raked her eyes over my appearance, speaking to whoever she was on the phone with.

"You're an asshole, you know that? Judging from the looks of things, I definitely have my work cut out for me."

Alice paced around her office, shaking her head.

"Yeah, well I'll believe that when I actually _see_ it, which better be soon. Time's running out."

She was listening intently, and the more she heard, a wide smile spread across her face.

"Tonight, really? This makes me very pleased, and I can't wait to give you my approval. Okay, I have to go now. I'm still mad at you, but I'll deal. As for the other…_situation_, I think a time out is needed, but I will monitor things on my end."

She winked at me, and I smiled slightly. I had no idea who she was so upset with, but it sounded like whoever had made her so angry was quickly redeeming themselves.

"No, that won't be necessary and I am not going to repeat that. _You_ need convey that. I'm hanging up now."

Alice hung up the phone and tossed it on her desk. She sat next to me and immediately wrapped her arms around me protectively. Instantly, I felt comforted and I almost forgot that I was so distressed…almost.

I broke from our embrace. "So who was that on the phone?"

"Oh, that was…uh, Jasper. We had a…disagreement of sorts. But that's not important right now. I want to hear why you look like you are falling apart at the seams."

I proceeded to tell Alice about my huge fight with Edward. It was our first big fight since living together and I was thinking the worst. I told Alice I was afraid that Edward was looking for a way out of our relationship, that he had grown tired and bored of being with me.

The whole time I vented my frustrations and fears over Edward, Alice sat quietly, stroking my hand with hers. When I was done explaining how things quickly soured earlier this evening, Alice gave me some sound advice about how maybe Edward was really trying to pocket away some money for us to get a bigger place someday. She also said that Edward loved me with everything he had and that sometimes men just have an idiotic way of showing it and that even though I had every right to be upset with him, Edward had never given me a reason to doubt his love or his trust…so I had to trust that things would work themselves out with a little faith and a little time.

After our conversation, I did feel a little better, but when she suggested that I maybe text Edward, letting him know I was feeling better and that I loved him, I told her _no_. Edward had said some hurtful things to me and I felt that he needed to sweat it out a little bit to fully grasp how much he disappointed me. I missed him and I loved him, which was why I blew up in the first place, and he now needed to know what it felt like to worry about whether or not I was doing okay. Besides, Edward hadn't texted or called me, so I guessed he wanted me to sweat it out as well.

_Whatever._

Once the store closed, we got to work right away. Alice had enlisted a couple of new employees to help out with updating the window displays and pressing the wrinkles out of the clothing. Most of our work was done in her design studio upstairs from the boutique. Her store was on the street level, but Alice was paying extra rent for her studio that was eight floors up. Her studio was a beautiful loft with a little room off to the side, which Alice had used as an additional private office. This was where she did her sketch work. There weren't even any windows in the room, and I gathered that it must have been a walk in closet at one point in time.

Alice showed her employee, Bree, and me how to use the new steam press iron she had just purchased. It was this big steel monstrosity and was hot as hell. You had to wear what looked like a pot holder in order to grab the handle to open and close it. Bree was a lot better at handling that thing than I was, so she paid more attention to Alice's instructions on how to press the clothing and how to shut the darn thing off. There were all these colored buttons with symbols on it that lit up in different colors which confused me.

_Whatever happened to ON/OFF?_

It was nearing midnight and Bree had to go home, and since the other employee was driving with her, she had to go too, leaving me and Alice to finish up. Alice was downstairs for a while redoing the window display because she wasn't happy with it. I knew she was going to rearrange things, which is why I didn't understand why she didn't just do it herself to begin with.

I took it upon myself to finish what Bree had started and had grown rather comfortable, settling into a clothes pressing routine. The monotonous task was definitely taking my mind off the events that occurred earlier, and I was starting to break my resolve and began thinking about texting Edward to at least tell him where I was.

An hour later, I was sweating from the heat and steam the machine was emitting in my face every time I opened and closed the top. I had just finished pressing my last article of clothing, carefully hanging it up on the rack so it was ready for price tagging, when Alice came up to announce she was finally done as well. I played with the knobs on the pressing machine to turn it off. I left the top opened so it could get some air and cool off quicker.

She suggested that we get some yummy, greasy take-out from our favorite twenty-four hour diner that was only few blocks away. Since I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, I welcomed her idea. I offered to go with her, but Alice had told me I had been through a lot tonight and I still managed to help her out, so I should go into her little office and rest on the couch for a while. Alice wasn't going to place the order ahead of time, opting to have an iced coffee there while waiting for the food to cook. She also mentioned that she needed to give Jasper a call, which made me think of Edward and how badly I wanted to hear his voice.

Alice was just about to leave when she spotted another box of clothing.

"Crap, we totally forgot about this," she said, pointing to the box.

"Don't worry, Ali. You go and I will take care of this." Immediately, I opened the box and started placing the garments on the table next to the iron press.

"Thanks, Bells. You're the best. But promise me you will try to nap first. It's obvious we are staying here tonight, so take your time. Oh…Jasper just texted me and wants to have a late night meal with me at the diner. I hope you don't mind, but I figured it would give you time to sleep. I'll bring back your order."

"No problem. Tell Jasper I said hello."

I waved Alice out of the studio and plopped the rest of the clothing on the table on top of the others. I was actually pretty drained, so I made my way to the office, closed the door and sunk down on the couch, letting the sleep take over instantly.

_Heat…burning heat was all around me. Flashes of bright orange danced around me, which was making me sweat profusely. Big, dark clouds were threatening to swallow me whole as I was running as fast as I could to escape the darkness and the bright orange that was laced around the perimeter._

Gasping, I shot up to a sitting position. I blinked the sleep from me in order to get my bearings straight. I must have had a terrible nightmare, which may have explained why I was drenched in sweat. I got up and stretched, looking around for a clock to see what time it was and noticed the room had some type of smoky look to it. Perhaps my eyes were playing tricks on me.

_Why is it so fucking hot in here? It's like there's a film of humidity coating this place. _I thought Alice had central air in this place because I saw that there was a vent in the ceiling. She must have turned it off or something, but I was going to tell her when she got back that she needed to put it back on.

I really needed some air, so I decided to walk towards the door to open it to get some type of breeze, and that's when I spotted it…

Smoke…cloudy, grayish smoke that was coming in from the space under the door. My heart began thumping out of my chest and I was trying to take a calming breath, which seemed a difficult feat considering the smoke was rushing faster and faster through that space. It was as though it was waiting to make its presence known until I woke from my nap. I stood there for a few moments trying to gather what was going on in the other room. The smoke had now created this gray film, masking the room in dread and gloom. It smelled horrendous…toxic even, as my face contorted in disgust.

The smell was definitely waking me up, making me realize that I had to get out of there to see what in the hell was going on. I mean, it wasn't normal that the room was filling up with smoke.

Lots and lots of smoke.

That's when realization dawned on my quickly smoke-clouded brain. I had never experienced this, only when I was watching it on TV or some big movie, but where there's smoke, there's usually…_Oh. My. God_.

Fire.

The thought made my head spin, which was easy because I was already dizzy from that awful smell. I went into full blown panic mode and without even thinking, I rushed to open the door, placing my right hand on the knob. I screamed out in pain as the palm of my hand felt like it was being singed, making me jump away from the door. Holding my wrist with my other hand, I quickly glanced at my hand. It was throbbing in pain and it was extremely red, looking kind of puffy and weird.

The smoke started to really billow around the tiny room as I kept mistakenly breathing it in. I had no idea what to do, considering I couldn't hold my breath forever and Alice didn't really have any oxygen masks lying around. That's when it dawned on me that I needed to cover my mouth with something…Edward had told me that before.

_Edward._

I needed to call Edward. Maybe someone called this in and he was already on his way...and Alice? What about Alice? My panic set in further as I began to feel like I was going to vomit. I prayed to anyone divine that was listening that Alice was safe and at that diner. Hopefully, she saw the fire from the outside and called it in herself.

_Please let Alice be safe._

I saw a shirt draped over her desk chair and I quickly wrapped it around my good hand so I could attempt to open the door again. My right hand was killing me, but the adrenaline currently surging through my body won over, making me forget that I most likely burned my hand.

My eyes were beginning to sting as the smoke was invading the small space. I ran to the door and tentatively tried to turn the knob, thankfully not injuring my other hand. I slowly opened the door and was instantly met with a darker shade of gray smoke, which came from the bright orange blaze…which was right outside the door.

There was fire everywhere.

There was no way for me to jump over those flames. There was no opening for me.

I was trapped.

My covered hand instinctively closed over my mouth, trying to act like a shield against the smoke, but it was useless. The smoke managed to snake its way inside me further, the burning feeling in my throat intensifying so much that I didn't even want to swallow. The heat emitting from the blaze practically melted the skin off my body…that's how close the flames were. I jumped back quickly and left the door open.

Scanning the studio, from what I could see, I noticed bits of open patches where there were no flames, but they were impossible to get to. I would have to walk through the other patches of fire in order to get to the stairs. Terror clouded my body as I began to cough profusely.

I couldn't stop coughing and I thought I was going to choke. Feeling the bile rise in my throat, I bent over and vomited, hardly able to see the floor. When I stood up, I swayed way too hard for my liking. I had to think of how I was going to keep myself safe before Edward and the rest of the department arrived.

_Please hurry, Edward. Please…tell me someone already called in this fire._

That's when I decided I would call Edward myself. I darted my head around, forgetting how dizzy I was, and found my bag lying on the floor next to Alice's desk. I fished around and grabbed my cell phone. It lit up and I saw that I had one unopened text message. Hearing a loud crash, which startled me, making my heart jump right out of my chest, I quickly kicked the door closed to at least shield myself from the flames.

I felt like I was being drugged; my head felt so heavy and I was so very dizzy. I was still coughing like crazy, which made the pain in my throat so unbearable I wished that I could just fall asleep.

Sleep. I just wanted to rest my head and lie down on the couch. Yes, I would lie down and wait for Edward to come and find me. Hopefully, the flames won't burn down the door. Still, I wanted to call Edward, so I lifted my arm, which turned out to be a difficult feat since it felt like it was made of lead it was so damn heavy. My eyes were drooping closed and I had to concentrate to keep them open so I could make my call. I opened the text message and found it was from Edward.

_**I'm so sorry, Beautiful. I miss you like crazy. Please forgive me. ~E**_

He was so sweet, I wanted to cry tears of joy, but I couldn't. I wanted to smile a big toothy grin and run to him, throw my arms around him and kiss him senseless, but I couldn't. I wanted to text him back or call him, but I couldn't. I wanted to alert him that I was in danger, but I couldn't.

The smoke completely consumed me as I found it harder and harder to breathe. My head was completely numb, I was so disoriented and I couldn't help feeling like I was on one of those spinning rides at an amusement park. My arm was too weak to stay up, so it dropped to my side with such force, it released my phone from my hands, landing on the floor with a _thump_. My eyes weren't closed, but yet I still saw the blackness creep in from the sides. That's when the darkness enveloped me, causing me to drop to the floor, but not before I hit my head on something hard…the desk maybe? I was too disoriented to know.

One final thought crept into my clouded head before I succumbed to the darkness that too desperately wanted to overtake my body…

_I'm sorry, too._

**

* * *

****Pauline and I have been waiting for months and months to write this scene. Way back when we were thinking of an outline for this story, it was always our intention to have Bella get trapped in a fire at Alice's shop. However, Emmett and Edward's accident was a last minute idea that ended up working out really well.**

**Don't get all panicky just yet: *No, Bella will NOT lose her memory because she hit her head. She will not follow Edward's story line. We weren't trying to be all cliché about her getting trapped in a blaze. There is a reason WHY we had her and not Alice or Rose get into this mess. **

**Can anyone take a guess as to why we did that?**

**We would LOVE to hear what your predictions are! What is the deal with Edward and wanting to work so much?**

**Please leave us a review and let us know what you are predicting. Reviewers will get a teaser for the next chapter sent to them. **

**Only three more chapters left…and that includes the epilogue. Sad, we know :(**

**Thanks for your constant support! We love you all!**

**XOXO Holly and Pauline **


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: I worked really hard to get this out to all of you as quickly as possible because I know we left you with quite the cliffy in the last chapter. **

**Thank you, as always, to our awesome beta Sweet Dulcinea. You are the best!**

**I would like to thank all the Twitter, Twilighted, and facebook girls for chatting with us. Check out our profile page for a list of our accounts on those various sites…we'd love to hear from you and chat. Oh, and thank you to Carolala who kept me company this past weekend while I was writing. I caught her starting this story at chapter one and throughout the night she had me cracking up as she reviewed each chapter (we got cyber drunk together with her special rum raison ice cream: One cup ice cream, one cup rum, and one raison on top). It was the only thing that kept me sane while I was staring at my computer screen for hours…writing and researching medical mumbo jumbo. We REALLY do read every review, and try to respond as much as possible. So please know that every word you say to us means the world to both of us!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not rich…so there is a pretty good chance I'm not Stephenie Meyer. She owns all the Twilight stuff…nuff said.**

**Oh...I highly suggest you listen to this song before you read. It was my inspiration for most of this chapter. www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=_NRdA0ST4Zg**

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***Edward***

_"No, that won't be necessary and I am not going to repeat that. __You__ need to convey that. I'm hanging up now."_

And with that Alice hung up and the line went dead. I snapped my phone shut and ran my fingers through my hair, tugging roughly at it as I kicked the wall outside of the store.

"Fuck!" I yelled aloud.

I felt like I was going to explode. My emotions were all over the place. Bella and I had never had a fight like the one we had tonight. I knew that my hectic work schedule was wearing on her. She was trying to be patient with me, but I could see the resentment building up in her for a while now.

I couldn't say that I was surprised when it all came to a head tonight. I had been working my ass off for the past few months, since getting back from Hawaii, trying to save up money, and I promised her a week ago that we would go out tonight. She wasn't happy that I was going to have to go back to work really late, but we still had the evening together.

But of course those plans got shot to shit when Emmett called, telling me I had to meet him and Jasper right away to pick up the damn reason why I had been working so hard to begin with. I figured that I had two weeks before we left for Chicago, but just my fucking luck, the guy was going away and it was either tonight, or not until after we got back from Chicago.

When I walked out into the living room to let her know I wouldn't be able to make our date, I was freaking out inside. I knew she would be pissed, but I didn't expect the explosion of anger I got from her. I knew she was right…in everything she said to me, but…well…I was fucking exhausted, cranky, and at the end of my rope.

I should have just stood there and taken it…kept my fucking mouth shut, but instead I fought back and ended up making it ten times worse. When she walked out and spat, _"I'm going out and I don't know what time I will be back," _I flipped out. I picked up an empty glass that was sitting on the coffee table and threw it against the wall, watching it as it shattered into pieces.

As I kneeled on the floor cleaning up the mess I had just made, my fears started to get the best of me. Bella had dressed up for our date, she looked so beautiful, and now she was out…god knows where, with god knows who, looking stunning…and I wasn't with her. Thoughts of her sitting at a bar while some hot shot lawyer or doctor hit on her made my blood begin to boil.

_Didn't she understand I was doing all of this for us…for her?_

No, of course she didn't…because I couldn't tell her. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the little box that I had placed there before walking out of the store to call Alice. I opened it and stared at what was inside.

"She's gonna love it," I heard Jasper say from behind me.

I took a deep breath before closing it and stuffing it back into my pocket. "Yeah, that's if she ever sees it. I'll be lucky if she ever speaks to me again," I responded.

"Aw, come on, Eddie. Izzy-B is just mad. Once she realizes what's been going on, she'll feel so bad about the fight you guys had tonight," Emmett piped in.

"Yeah, but this isn't the kind of thing you want to lead up to with the biggest fight of your relationship," I said, sounding defeated to even my own ears.

They both gave me half smiles and sort of shrugged their shoulders.

"So…did you get in touch with Alice?" Jasper asked. "Has she heard from Bella?"

"Yeah…Bella's over at the store with her. She's gonna help her with some work over there for the night," I told them.

"Well, see…" Emmett began, "you got all worried about nothing. I knew Izzy wouldn't go sulk in some bar. And even if she did…she isn't the type of girl who would have hooked up with some random guy just because you two had a fight. She loves you, man…just give her some time to cool off. I bet if you call her later from the firehouse she'll have calmed down. Maybe she'll even want to come by to hang out with you after she finishes up at Alice's."

I gave him the most convincing smile I could muster up. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'll call her later once we get to work."

"That's the spirit," Jasper said as he gave me a hard pat on the back. "Okay, I'm gonna get going, I know you guys have to be at work soon anyway," he told us.

"Thanks for coming, man. I appreciate all the help you and Emmett have been through this whole process."

"Anytime, Edward," Jasper said as he headed across the parking lot to his car.

"Come on, Ed…we better go or else we'll be late," Emmett stated as I followed after him towards his car.

**

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**Almost as soon as Emmett and I arrived at work we were called out on an alarm. We were gone for a few hours, and as soon as we arrived back to the house I ran to my locker to check my phone for any messages. When I saw that there was nothing from Bella my heart sank.

I decided to just suck it up and call her first. Besides, I wasn't mad at her. I knew that even though I technically hadn't done anything wrong, she didn't know my reasoning behind working so much, so until the truth could be revealed…I was the one in the wrong. I owed her the first phone call.

I selected her name in my phone's address book and put the phone up to my ear. It rang and rang until eventually her voicemail picked up. I hung up and called back again. When I got her voicemail for the second time I decided to call Alice to see if Bella was still with her. It dawned on me that it was almost one o'clock in the morning, so perhaps Bella was home sleeping already, but I needed to know either way. Bella and I always said goodnight to each other, even when I was working, so if she had already gone home to bed I would keep calling until I woke her up. I needed to say goodnight and tell her that I loved her.

Alice picked up on the second ring. "Hey, Edward," she said entirely too cheery for this time of night.

"Hey, Alice, is Bella with you?"

"Good to talk to you too," Alice joked sarcastically.

I sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so abrupt, but I haven't heard from her all night and I really want to talk to her."

"I know, I know," she responded. "I actually just left her at my store. She's been helping me all night and we were both starving, so I offered to go pick up food at the diner while she rested on my couch for a little bit. I'm meeting Jasper and then we are going to head back over to eat together there."

"Oh, okay. Look…I know you don't want to get involved, but could you please tell her to check her phone when you get back? I'm gonna send her a text message now. Please ask her to call me after she reads it. I just want to tell her that I'm sorry, and that after tonight I will be back on my regular work schedule again." I paused before continuing. "It's all paid off now. I have it in my locker here at work. I won't need to work anymore overtime."

"Well that's good," Alice replied. "Edward, she's okay. We talked tonight and I explained some things to her without giving anything away; I think she understands. She just…misses you."

"I know…I miss her too. Just please ask her to call me, will ya?"

"Of course I will."

"Okay, thanks Alice. I'll talk to you later."

After we ended our conversation, I typed a quick text message to Bella.

**I'm so sorry, Beautiful. I miss you like crazy. Please forgive me. ~E**

I hit send and threw my phone back into my locker, next to the little box I hoped would make all of this worth it.

After I shut my locker I walked into the TV room, too tired to do anything else, but too wired to go to sleep.

**

* * *

**I must have dozed off, because suddenly I was awoken abruptly by the sound of the alarm blaring. I shot up off the couch and ran towards the truck. Everyone was making their way into the garage, running towards the hooks where their uniforms were hung.

I quickly got into my gear and jumped onto the truck.

Eric slid into the driver seat and fired up the engine. The door to the garage was opening when Chris, the guy who was working dispatch, ran out to let us know where we were heading.

"It's the Freemont Shopping District…1901 46th Street," he called to us as we pulled out.

That address sounded familiar to me, but I was still not a hundred percent familiar with this city. I was getting better, but it wasn't like Chicago where I knew it like the back of my hand. But still…it wasn't just 46th Street that sounded familiar to me…it was the actual number of the building that I knew from somewhere.

It was at that moment that I looked up and saw Emmett's face. He was standing across from me on the truck, his eyes wide, his face drained of all color. It was the look on his face that caused the crash of realization to hit me like a ton of bricks.

That was Alice's building…and Bella was there!

My knees buckled underneath me and I fell to the floor. Emmett rushed over, as did a few other guys, but Emmett yelled at them to give me some space.

"Edward, we don't know what's going on yet. Just try to stay calm. It could be nothing."

My head was spinning and I barely knew what was going on around me. I almost felt like I was having an out of body experience. Different pictures and memories flashed through my mind…Tanya's face, my Captain handing me her wallet after he told me what happened, running back to my apartment to find our bed empty, the police showing up to confirm everything, her funeral, going to her grave, Bella showing up in Chicago…_Bella!_

"Oh God! Not again! Not Bella!" I screamed.

"Edward…_Edward_! Get yourself together!" Emmett screamed, hitting my helmet hard as he tried to snap me back to reality.

My eyes focused as I looked back up at him.

"We don't know what's going on yet…but even if Bella is in there…you have to be strong for her. Don't fall apart now, man."

He was right. What the fuck was I doing? This was not the time to be falling apart, but I was scared…really scared. My hands were shaking and I still wasn't sure if my legs would hold me if I stood up, but I had to find it in me to pull it together.

I felt the truck turn a corner, and one of the guys yelled out that we were pulling up. I jumped up to my feet and looked out the window as we approached the building. I saw black smoke pouring out of the top floor window.

The truck wasn't even fully stopped before I jumped out and started running. The only thing that distracted me was the sound of Alice's voice screaming my name.

I turned and saw her standing in the middle of the street. Jasper had his arms around her, literally holding her in place as she struggled against his grip, screaming and crying.

I ran up to her. "Alice…are you okay?" I searched her body to see if she had been hurt.

She was crying so hard that she was hyperventilating. I could barely make out a word she was saying…but I did make out one word…_Bella_.

"Bella!" Alice screamed as she fell to her knees.

Jasper leaned down and wrapped his arms around her. "Edward, we just got back from the diner and saw the smoke and heard the sirens. We were bringing back Bella's food."

My eyes looked back and forth between them…valuable time being wasted.

"Alice…where the hell is she?" I screamed.

Jasper grabbed her face and forced her to look at him. "Alice, where do you think she is?" he asked as calmly as he could, but even I could see his cracking façade.

"In my upstairs office…she was going to take a nap on the couch. It's at the back of the building…on the top floor."

All three sets of our eyes traveled up to the top floor of the building where all the smoke was coming from. I turned away from them and started racing towards the building as fast as I could. Emmett was just briefing everyone, giving them directions as to what to do, when I sped by them. I was just about to open the front door when I felt someone grab me hard from behind.

"Edward! You can't just run in there like a bat out of hell!" Emmett yelled.

I tried to get out of his grip, but he wouldn't let go.

"What the fuck would you be doing if that was Rose up there?" I spat back in his face.

He froze, staring at me intensely, before letting me go. "We'll be in right behind you. Just be careful…you're no good to her if you don't use your head."

I nodded at him before turning and running towards the front door. Some of the guys had already gotten it open, so I just raced in and straight back through the store until I reached the back staircase. So far all was clear. There was no sign of the fire starting down below; it clearly started up top…which did nothing to ease the fears of what I would find once I got up there.

I reached what I estimated to be the sixth floor when I started to see smoke. I threw my oxygen mask on and continued my race up the stairs. I could hear footsteps behind me, so I knew the other guys were close behind.

Even in as good of shape as I was in, running up eight flights of stairs would normally leave me a bit winded, but with all the adrenaline pumping through my veins I couldn't feel anything but energy. I needed to get to her, and nothing else mattered.

I rounded up to the last flight and literally took two steps at a time until I was on the top landing. Emmett practically crashed into me as he reached it too. The smoke was really thick now and we could barely see a thing as I threw the door open.

The stairwell led us out somewhere in the middle of the floor. To my right was the front of the building, where the fire was in full blaze. Whatever had caused the fire was clearly towards the front, but that wasn't my concern right now. Alice had said that she thought Bella would be in her office, which was towards the back.

I made my way through the room. It was difficult to see anything due to the thick, black smoke that was everywhere. I removed my mask for a split second and yelled out.

"Bella! Bella, can you hear me? Please, if you can…let me know where you are, Baby."

Silence. Nothing.

I kept walking towards the back. I heard more of the guys enter the floor, yelling to the others outside to start the water.

"There's a door back there, Edward," I heard Emmett call from behind me. As personal as this was for me, I knew it was for him too. He had known Bella since they were kids and loved her just as much as I did.

I got over to the door, and in the short millisecond of time I allotted myself before I opened it, I said a quick prayer about what I would find on the other side.

The doorknob turned easily, but I knew that if I hadn't had gloves on it would have been too hot to touch. I pushed it open carefully, in case she was right behind it, but when I felt no resistance I threw it open. As soon as the door was completely opened I saw her. She was lying on the ground, unconscious, and there was…blood.

_Oh God, why was there blood?_

I flew over to her, crouching on the floor beside her.

"Bella? Bella, Baby…I'm here." I ripped off my gloves and felt for a pulse. I could feel one, but it was slight. Immediately I removed my mask and held it over her face.

"Is she okay?" Emmett spoke from behind me.

"I-I…don't know. I have a pulse, but a weak one. There's blood though, it seems to be coming from her head. She must have passed out and hit her head on something," I told him.

Emmett removed his mask and held it over my face for a few seconds because he knew there was no way in hell I would remove mine from hers. He bent down on the other side of her and assessed her injuries. We didn't have much time, we had to get her out of here, but the blood was concerning us both. If her injuries were not just her head, but her neck or spine, we couldn't safely move her.

He gave me some more oxygen before he spoke. "It seems to me like you're right; she appears to have just banged her head. I think at this point it is more important for us to get her out of here and to the ambulance, then to waste any more time keeping her up here in this smoke."

I nodded at him in agreement, taking one last breath from his mask before I scooped her up and ran through the door.

The fire was still roaring but the other guys were fighting it, getting it slowly under control. They had cleared a path for me to get back to the stairs as easily as possible. I held my breath, never once removing my mask from her mouth. When I entered the stairwell I ran down as quickly, but as carefully, as possible. The last thing I needed was to trip in my haste to get her out.

There were a few guys heading up as I was heading down, but they moved right out of my way, letting me pass without stalling for even a second. As I made it closer to the lower floors, where the air was clean, I let out the breath I had been holding and took a few deep breaths in. I still had about two floors left to descend when I allowed myself to glance down at her in clearer conditions.

She had blood oozing out, which was matted in her hair, her skin was pale and slightly covered in soot, but the only thing I saw that mattered to me was the fog on the inside of my mask that indicated she was still breathing.

"Beautiful, please open your eyes…please, just open your eyes," I pleaded to her.

She didn't respond.

I finally made it out to the first floor and walked as fast as I could towards the door. Suddenly, Bella made a strangled, gurgling sound and vomit started to overflow from her mouth. I was experienced enough to know that she clearly had severe smoke inhalation. I removed the mask from her mouth and turned her head to the side so she wouldn't choke.

When I ran out the front door, the EMTs were ready and waiting for me.

"She's thrown up!" I shouted at them. "She's been up there for too long…she's breathed in too much smoke!"

They met me with the stretcher, which I placed her down on, and started yelling to each other what needed to be done.

I was leaning over her, clinging to her, hoping that my presence would magically snap her back to consciousness. I kept screaming her name over and over, panic and fear surging through me as I watched them suction out her mouth.

I kept getting elbowed as they worked on her. One of them turned to me and told me I had to move. I knew I was in the way, but I didn't want to let go of her. I had her hand in mine when I felt a strong grip on my shoulder. I didn't turn, but I heard Emmett's voice.

"Edward, you have to let her go. They need to work on her."

He placed his other hand on my other shoulder and gently, but firmly, pulled me back.

I heard one of the paramedics yell that she had stopped breathing. He jumped onto the stretcher and started administering chest compressions as the others pushed her towards the waiting ambulance.

"Get her in the ambulance and start an IV!" one of them called out.

"God, no! Please get her to breathe…please!" I shouted, the anguish seeping into my voice.

The adrenaline and fear in my body were still causing me to shake uncontrollably, but I was on auto-pilot, my body moving forward on its own accord. Alice appeared and ran alongside the stretcher.

"Oh god, Bella!" she screamed. "Please be okay. I will never forgive myself if you aren't!"

Emmett came up behind her and held her back before Jasper came and took his place, wrapping his arms protectively around her as she fell completely apart. I could see that his eyes were red as well.

When they reached the truck and loaded her on, I climbed in after her and one of the paramedics looked at me with a confused look on her face. It wasn't customary for a firefighter to accompany a victim in the ambulance.

_Victim._

"She's my girlfriend," I explained to her. _Fuck that…she's my life!_

Once the doors to the back were shut, we were off. It took everything I had to stay back out of their way. I sat in the corner and I watched as they worked furiously on Bella. They gave her a shot of something in her IV, and after several more minutes of chest compressions, it was announced that she was breathing again and had a pulse. Then they began tending to the wound on her head. I felt a ton of relief knowing that she was breathing again but I was still too scared to let it alleviate any of my panic.

Before I knew it, the back doors were being thrown open and we were outside of the Emergency Room. There were several doctors and nurses already waiting as they unloaded Bella's stretcher. They started crowding over top of her as they wheeled her quickly through the doors. I ran in behind them, but as soon as they entered through the big, automatic, double doors into the patient area, I was told I couldn't go any further.

I yelled out her name one last time as they turned a corner, disappearing out of sight. I felt so helpless. The devastation that was coursing through my body was indescribable. I wanted to punch something, break something, scream at the top of my lungs, but at the same time I felt numb. It was the oddest combination of feelings I had ever felt. Well I shouldn't say that…I _had_ felt them once before.

I stood in the middle of the ER as still as a statue, watching the doors as they slowly closed. I was the only person there, since it had to be close to three o'clock in the morning, so it was eerily quiet.

After several minutes, I heard the doors to the outside open behind me and someone ran across the floor towards me.

It was Alice, and she was clinging to my jacket. She was saying something to me, but I couldn't hear a thing. I just stared down at her, expressionless, watching as she became more and more hysterical. Jasper walked over to her, looking at me cautiously, before he removed her hands from me and walked her towards the couch to sit.

Next, I saw Rosalie run in, tears streaming down her face. She ran over to me as well, saying something to me…but again I couldn't make out what it was because all I heard was silence. Emmett ran through the doors next, over to where Rosalie and I were standing. He was still in his full uniform, as was I. He said something to me and I just looked back at him blankly. Rose looked up at him with fear in her eyes. He whispered something in her ear and she ran off in the direction of the front desk.

Emmett put his hands on my shoulder and started speaking to me. As he continued, he was also shaking me. As he did that I seemed to be rattled back into coherency. I didn't understand much of what Emmett was saying but the words, "gave her his oxygen mask…might have inhaled smoke...he's in shock," registered my brain.

The next thing I knew, a nurse ran out into the waiting room, with Rosalie close behind.

"Mr. Cullen, can you hear me?" she said to me.

I heard her, but I still couldn't formulate any thoughts to reply, so Emmett wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Maybe we should have a doctor check him out," he told the nurse.

As if lightening struck me, I found it within myself to snap back into reality…well, the reality of an insane person at least. I pulled out of Emmett's grip and stepped away.

"_No_!" I shouted. "Absolutely fucking not! The doctors need to concentrate on Bella! I'm fine! Just leave me the hell alone and let them work on her! She has to be okay; she can't die on me…she just can't…not her, too!"

I felt arms wrapping around me, but nothing or no one could comfort me. The only person who could was lying on a stretcher somewhere in this hospital, fighting for her life.

How could this be happening to me again? What were the fucking chances? It was like some twisted déjà vu, especially because of what I had just bought for her tonight. Was God playing some cruel, sick joke on me? Because that's sure as hell what it felt like.

_No…NO!_ I refused to accept that Bella would suffer the same fate as Tanya. I wouldn't allow it. I looked around. Everyone was staring at me, afraid to move because they probably thought I was losing my mind.

I turned to the nurse. "Please go back and find out what's going on. I would like an update."

She stared at me for a moment before she nodded her head, turned on her heels and scurried across the waiting room towards the door to the back.

I was sweating and finding it increasingly hard to breathe. I needed to get out of my fucking uniform; I felt like I was suffocating. I shook off my jacket and let it fall to the floor before I walked quickly through the doors to the outside. Once outside, I leaned against the wall and slid down to the ground, resting my head on my knees.

I sat like that for several minutes before I heard the automatic doors open and someone walk out.

"Edward?" Emmett spoke softly.

I looked up to find Emmett and a guy in a white lab coat standing in front of me. I jumped up quickly.

"How is she?" I blurted out to the man who I assumed was a doctor.

"Edward, I'm Doctor Masen; I am the doctor in charge of Isabella. Emmett here tells me that you are her next of kin?"

"Uh…yeah," I responded.

"Would you like to go inside and sit down so I can tell you what's going on?" he asked.

"No…just fucking spit it out!" I shouted. I just wanted him to cut to the chase.

"Edward," Emmett said, placing a hand on my arm gently.

"No, Emmett, it's okay. I know Mr. Cullen is under a lot of stress right now," the doctor replied.

"Okay, Mr. Cullen, Isabella has suffered from extreme smoke inhalation, which I'm sure you could already have guessed. She is currently upstairs getting x-rays to see how severe the damage is to her lungs, and how much fluid might be in them. Depending on the severity, we will then determine if she needs to be intubated with a breathing tube. She would only need that if the damage is enough to lead to swelling of her esophagus. If the damage is not too severe we will most likely put her on a ventilator until she wakes up or becomes more stable...whichever comes first. This is done to relieve the stress of breathing and conserves the patient's energy to allow for a faster recovery."

I heard everything the doctor said but couldn't get past the phrase, _"until she wakes up."_ It sounded to me like it could be a long time, and that was really unsettling.

"She also has a second degree burn on the palm of her right hand. This was most likely caused from touching a hot door knob."

My heart constricted at the thought of her realizing she was in trouble, trying to get out, but not being able to. She must have been so frightened.

Doctor Masen continued. "She must have hit her head quite hard, and I'm guessing she suffered a concussion; we will know more once we run a CT scan. We have controlled the bleeding from the gash, but she will need stitches. We are just awaiting the plastic surgeon that is on call. He'll be able to do it so that the scarring is minimal. We will be monitoring her lung capacity and her blood to make sure it is clean of all toxins."

When he finished speaking, I stood there processing everything he said to me.

"So…she's going to be okay?" I asked.

"Well…right now we are doing everything we can as far as injuries, but the rest will be a waiting game until she wakes up. Until then, we won't know the full extent of any damage that may have occurred as a result of the lack of oxygen to her brain."

"So what exactly are you saying to me? That she's in a coma?" I asked, my voice coming out angry.

He took a deep breath. "Well, I guess for all intents and purposes…yes. Bella's body has been through a major trauma. It rests as a way to protect itself and heal."

"So when will she wake up?"

Dr. Masen stepped forward and put his hand on my arm. "When she's ready," he stated with true sympathy in his voice. "I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, I wish I could offer more information regarding that, but it is simply not something I can predict."

I looked down at the ground. "When can I see her?"

"Well, she should be getting out of x-rays any minute now. Then they are going to bring her up to her room where the plastic surgeon can take a look at her head wound. Once all that is done, I'll send one of the nurses out to get you. It shouldn't be more than a couple of hours. She'll be moved up to the fifth floor. Why don't you guys go and grab some coffee and then head up to the waiting room on that floor."

I nodded solemnly, before putting my hand out to shake the doctor's. He reached out and gripped it. "Thank you," I said quietly.

"She's in good hands, Edward," he said, letting down the formalities. "We are going to do everything in our power to make sure Bella walks out of this hospital as soon as possible, and even better than before."

I gave him a half hearted smile. "There's no way she could be better than before…she's always been perfect…there's nothing you could improve upon," I told him before turning and walking back inside.

When I got inside, everyone stood up to hear what the doctor had told me. I held up my hand and shook my head. "I can't…not right now," I said.

I felt bad because I knew they were all just as worried as I was, but I was too overwhelmed and emotional to go back through the whole thing right now. Thankfully, Emmett walked in right behind me.

"Go ahead on up, Edward; I'll fill everyone in. We'll meet you upstairs in a few minutes."

I nodded my head, gave a small smile, and walked towards the elevator.

When I got off on the fifth floor, I walked towards the nurse's station. I told them who I was and who I was there for. The nurse told me that Bella had just been brought up, but the plastic surgeon was in with her now. She pointed me towards the waiting room and told me to have a seat there; she would come and get me when I was allowed in to see Bella.

I thanked her and made my way into the waiting room. I had a seat in one of the uncomfortable chairs and closed my eyes. I was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, but there was no way I would be able to sleep. Right now my baby was resting…but I wouldn't, and couldn't, rest until she woke up.

Several minutes later, I heard footsteps entering into the room, as well as hushed voices. I opened my eyes and saw Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice.

Alice walked slowly and cautiously towards me; her eyes were bright red and puffy. It was as though she was afraid to approach me. I felt horrible. I knew that my reactions had been abrupt and short, but I had no control over myself right now.

Forcing myself up out of the chair, I held open my arms to her. She sprinted the rest of the way, crashing into me as she wrapped her arms around my waist and broke down into another fit of tears.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," she sobbed. "This is entirely my fault. I should have made sure that damn garment press was turned off properly before I left for the diner. I should have insisted she come with me. I should have…," her voice trailed off as her tears overtook her.

"Shhh," I said, as I buried my face into the top of her head. "It was an accident. It wasn't your fault."

She shook her head violently back and forth. She was totally inconsolable. She was reacting outwardly the way I felt inwardly. It suddenly dawned on me that I hadn't cried once. It wasn't that I didn't feel like I could, it was all there bubbling just below the surface, but for some reason it wasn't coming out.

Suddenly, Jasper, who I hadn't even realized had left the room, walked in with Dr. Masen. They walked over to where Alice and I were standing and Jasper put his hands on Alice's shoulders.

"Baby," he said softly, "Dr. Masen is going to give you something to calm your nerves a bit."

Alice shook her head again and clutched onto me harder.

I sighed, knowing how stubborn my cousin could be. "Alice," I said to her, "I think you should take it. I need you to be the strong one now. Please…do this for me."

She stilled and slowly lifted her head up to look at me. I gave her an encouraging nod, and she returned it with a sad smile before letting go of me and turning around towards Dr. Masen, who handed her a small pill and glass of water.

When she was done taking the medication she turned back to me. "I took the pill, Edward," she said through her tears, now go and let the doctor check _you_ out. You want me to take care of myself so I can be strong for you? Well…now I want you to go and take care of yourself so you can be strong for Bella."

"Come on, Edward," Dr. Masen said. "I'll take you into one of the empty rooms right on this floor and examine you quickly. You won't have to be far from Isabella."

I let out a defeated sigh, and followed Dr. Masen out of the waiting room.

Dr. Masen gave me a quick, but thorough exam. I got the all clear from him, and headed back out into the waiting room while he went to Bella's room to see what the status was with the plastic surgeon.

When I returned I took a seat amongst my friends. We all sat quietly, no one said a word to each other. The only sound came from Alice who was still hyperventilating, but after about a half an hour I noticed how silent it had become and looked over to find her asleep in Jasper's arms. When I looked over at the other side of the room, I saw that Rosalie had her head rested on Emmett's shoulder. They were still awake, holding hands with each other.

I knew it was selfish, but it was too difficult for me to look at these two couples comforting each other. It made me think about Bella, not that I thought about anything else, but it made me want to hold her…so bad that my chest physically ached. I couldn't sit there any longer. I felt like a caged animal desperate to escape.

I stood up and was about to jet out of the room when a nurse entered.

"Mr. Cullen?" she asked to the room.

"That's me," I answered.

"Dr. Masen said you can go in and see Isabella now."

I didn't even respond. I just headed straight across the room. "What room is she in?" I asked as I was walked by her.

"Room 354," she called from behind me.

I walked down the hall looking for her room number. I finally spotted it and froze outside the door. Before I could enter, Dr. Masen walked up to me.

"She did have some burning to her esophagus, but nothing we deemed too severe that we thought it would swell any further to close up her airway. I do want to prepare you for the fact that she _is _on a ventilator, but that is only precautionary. She _can_ breathe on her own;the ventilator is in place just to help her along until she is a little more stable. We've done everything we can do for now. Now we just have to monitor her and wait until she wakes up."

I nodded my head to let him know I understood before I turned and walked into her room.

As soon as I entered, I heard the soft beeping from the machines and the air compressions from the ventilator. I walked slowly, seeing the foot of the bed, until I got further in and her face came into view.

I froze at the sight of her looking so pale and frail. She seemed so tiny and fragile hooked up to all those big machines. I felt like my tears were about to surface, but I pushed them back down. This wasn't time for me to lose it. I had to stay strong for her, to let her know that I was here for her. I needed her to know that I wouldn't leave her side until I saw the pink flush across her skin or the warmth of those brown eyes looking back at me.

I walked over to the side of her bed, dragging a chair behind me. When I got close enough, I sat down and took her little hand in mine. I brought it up to my lips and kissed the top of it, then the tips of her fingers and finally her palm.

I laid it gently back down on the bed, still wrapped securely between my own. I noticed her other hand was wrapped up in gauze from the burn, as was her head from the gash. I reached up and gently pushed back a stray lock of her hair.

"Isabella," I whispered, "it's Edward. I just wanted to let you know that I'm here and I won't be going anywhere…ever again. I should have been with you tonight instead of working." A sob escaped my chest, but still no tears fell. "You just rest…for as long as you need to, Beautiful. I'll be here when you wake up."

**

* * *

**The next few days went by in a blur. Doctors were in checking her stats, nurses came in to clean her wounds and change her bandages, visitors came by, flowers were delivered, but never once did I leave. The nurses gave me a hard time at first about visiting hours, but I heard Dr. Masen talking to them in the hallway. He told them that he was making an exception for me to stay as long as I wanted. I hadn't even left to get a change of clothes or shower. Alice finally showed up with something new for me to wear and shoved me into the bathroom of Bella's room to use the shower. I fought her…I didn't want to leave Bella's side for even a second, but Alice told me that Bella's father was coming and I should really clean myself up for the first time we met.

Charlie was a really great guy; it was just unfortunate that we had to meet under these circumstances. He stayed at the hospital as much as he could, but after a few hours I gave him the key to our apartment so he could rest.

I knew everyone was worried about me. I heard them whispering outside of the room. My hair was a mess, my beard was growing in, I hadn't really slept except for the times when I just nodded off, and I barely ate anything. I sat vigilantly by her bedside day and night. I would sit and talk to her or just sit quietly and hold her hand.

After five days, when he came to take her off the ventilator, even Dr. Masen approached me about at least going down and taking a walk around the parking lot, but I refused. What if she woke up while I was gone? I told her I would be here when she woke up, and I wouldn't break anymore promises to her.

It was now a full week after the accident had happened, and my girl was still asleep. I had Alice bring me the book that Bella had been reading from home. I was sitting in my usual spot beside her bed, my arms leaning on the mattress as I read to her. I got through about three chapters when my eyes started to go in and out of focus. I kept trying to shake it off, but it was a losing battle…I fell asleep.

I don't know how long I was asleep for, but something lulled me out of unconsciousness. My eyes fluttered open, my sight falling on the foot of her bed. I thought I was dreaming and was about to go back to sleep when I felt fingers gently running through my hair.

My heart stalled in my chest as I slowly lifted and turned my head. My gaze was met with the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen in my life. I closed my eyes for a moment, shaking my head and reopening them to make sure I wasn't dreaming…but I wasn't. She was still looking at me, but now she had a small smile across her lips.

She reached up and touched the side of my face, which was now covered in a short beard. "Hi," she spoke softly.

It was such a small word, and her voice was very low and scratchy, but it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

I let my head lean into her hand and I closed my eyes, relishing in the feel of her touch. When I opened them again I felt something wet run down my cheeks. After a week…my tears were finally coming.

"Don't cry," she whispered hoarsely. "It's okay."

I brought my hand up to my face and tried to rub away the tears, but they wouldn't stop falling. I sat up straighter and took her hand in mine. "Bella, I thought I was going to lose you," I told her. "I'm so sorry about our fight. I'm so sorry for working so much lately. I just need you to know how much I love you and how sorry I am about everything."

She just shook her head at me, squeezing my hand with hers. I knew it was difficult for her to speak, so when she started to, I tried to tell her to rest, but being the stubborn girl I fell in love with, she continued anyway.

"I'm so sorry, too," she said in barely a whisper. "I love you."

I stood up, leaned over, and brought my lips gently down to hers. I placed one more on her forehead before I stood up straight.

"I'll be right back, Beautiful," I told her as the first real smile I had in over a week spread across my face. "I have to go tell everyone that my girl is awake."

**

* * *

**It was little over a month later when we finally arrived in Chicago. We had to push back our trip so Bella could recover. She spent two more days in the hospital after she woke up. Once I got her home, I stayed with her as much as I could, only leaving to go to work when absolutely necessary. All the guys at the fire house pulled together and covered as many of my shifts as they could, but when I had to go in, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett took turns staying with her, helping her with whatever she needed while she rested and recovered.

If you think for a second that I'm going to sit here and say that I felt redeemed for getting to Bella in time, like I couldn't for Tanya, well…you would be wrong. What I _did_ feel was lucky. But I guess the outcome that this situation did offer me was finding peace in the realization that what had happened to Tanya wasn't my fault. While watching Bella in the hospital for all those days, seeing her all fragile and vulnerable, it made me realize that I'm human. I might have a job that allows me to do good and occasionally get to save someone's life, but…I am _not_ Superman. I can do my job to the best of my ability but the only one who decides who makes it and who doesn't…is the man upstairs.

When we arrived in Chicago, it was the very beginning of September. My parents were thrilled to have everyone out to visit. They were especially excited to see Bella since they were unable to come to Seattle to visit when she was in the hospital. They were so relieved when I had informed them that my girl woke up and was going to be okay. When we entered my parents' house, Esme lunged for Bella first, holding her in such a tight embrace, I was afraid she was never going to let go. My dad also pulled Bella into a warm hug and when he kissed her on top of her head, I knew that Carlisle thought of Bella like a daughter. He always held and kissed Alice the same way. Seeing my father do this to Bella made me smile, and it gave me hope that everything I worked for wasn't for nothing.

It was on our third day there that I left Bella at my parent's house with everyone, except Emmett, who came with me to my old firehouse.

When we got there I introduced him to everyone. We stood around talking for a little while before Dave walked up, holding my old uniform.

"What do you say we get this show on the road?" he asked as he handed it to me.

"Yeah, I guess we should," I said nervously as I glanced over at Emmett who was suiting up in the gear of one of the guys who had the day off.

Once I was dressed, I followed the guys onto the truck. My palms were sweating and my heart was beating erratically. When I heard the engine roar to life and the door to the garage start to open, I thought I might pass out.

"So…you ready to do this?" Dave asked as Emmett smiled from where he was standing behind him.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small, velvet box, staring at it intently. I took a deep breath before looking back up at them.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I said before we pulled out and headed up the street towards my parents' house.

* * *

**A/N: Hmmm…wonder what's in that box? LOL! **

**Please, hit review and tell us what you thought. I don't want to beg but…okay…I just got off my lazy ass and now I'm on my knees on the floor...and it isn't even because Rob is in front of me (did I just say that out loud?)…well anyway…I'm begging, okay? Please leave us a review. Let us know what your predictions are…what the heck was Eddie doing at his old firehouse, and now off on the truck towards his parent's house?**

**Oh! One last thing. Some of you who left reviews for the last chapter...I tried to send you the teaser but you have PMs blocked. You need to undo that if you want us to respond to you in any capacity. Thanks!**

**Love you lots,  
Pauline & Holly  
xoxo **


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: We're baaack…did you miss us? Please put the pitchforks away. It was a really crazy summer and there was lots of writing to do: WA, BS, and our two outtakes for the FGB auction. Mama needed a rest…sorry **

**Many of you wanted more of the reunion in the hospital as well as what happened during the month before the gang went to Chicago. This very long chapter answers all your questions, so please make sure you tell us what you think when you're done reading ;)**

**WELCOME ALL NEW READERS! There has been a huge influx of readers who have alerted this story as their favorite and we would love to hear from you! ****We appreciate the support everyone has given us for this story.**

**If you don't read our other story, **_**Beautiful Stranger**_**, then you may have missed that BS was rec'd on **_**The Fictionators**_** Blog a few weeks ago! We were shocked, but so excited. **

**NEWS FLASH: Have any of you read **_**The Hunger Games**_** series? We just launched a blog for it! Come join us and check it out ****www(dot)TheHob(dot)org. On the main page you will also see a link to join our forums. Join us and become a member!**

**Everlasting love goes out to our fabulous beta, **_**Sweet Dulcinea**_**. She works hard to get our chapters back to us quickly while she is busy writing herself! Go read her work - it's good, fun, sexy reading ;)**

**Do I even need to write the disclaimer? We obviously don't own anything. The sexy fireman and the brown eyed teacher and their story is ours.**

* * *

***BPOV***

_How the hell had I let Edward and Alice talk me into this? Why is it that I am sitting here, freaking out mind you, sweaty palms and all, while my boyfriend is resting peacefully at my side, reclined in his seat as though he hadn't a care in the world? Hadn't I been through enough?_ I absentmindedly fiddled with the fitted skin colored glove adorning my right hand.

Leaning my head back, I tried to position myself comfortably in the little confining space. After all, I would be sitting here for around four and half hours. Ugh…that thought was fucking suffocating.

Four and half hours sitting on a cushiony seat that wasn't really so comfortable, not being able to fully stretch my legs, not being able to raise my arms without bumping into the bottom of the overhead compartment. I felt the light sheen of sweat begin to spread on my forehead and the back of my neck as I squirmed, the anxiety seeping, burning into every part of my body causing my heart rate to spike to a new high since the last time it beat erratically not even a half hour ago.

Four and a half hours stuck in what felt like a tin can gliding along through the clouds thousands and thousands of miles high in the air. I absolutely disliked flying for fear of crashing or wondering how the laws of physics and gravity really worked, but I had never let that stop me from traveling. However, in light of my whole "being trapped in a very small office with no windows, no source of air while a fire was blazing right outside the door" experience, I detested flying and the feeling of being in such an enclosed space. When you think about it, you're also trapped when on a plane. Where the fuck were you going to go? If you wanted off, you couldn't just tell the flight attendant, "Yeah, this isn't really working out for me. I'm just gonna leave now." Hell, I was so damn frustrated, my line of thinking making my skin heated. I had to stop because there was nothing I could do about it now.

Four and a half hours…

_Where the fuck is that flight attendant with my wine? _Yes, I needed that little jolt of alcohol to calm the nerves that were currently fraying my insides.

We were finally taking our trip to Chicago to visit with Esme and Carlisle and to scope out venues for Alice and Jasper's wedding. It wasn't as though I didn't want to go because I really wanted to get away with Edward. It's just that I sort of wished they could have delayed the trip a little while longer. However, since I was the reason for the trip being postponed in the first place, I didn't want to cause any more trouble than I already had; hence the reason for my spiking anxiety due to being on this plane right now.

I had already burdened my friends and Edward with them having to dote on me during my recovery, but how could I explain that on the inside I was screaming that I was not ready to go anywhere? This had nothing to do with anyone else but me and I wanted to come to support Alice and Jasper. I just wanted to stay within the confines of my safe haven, which was back at my place, where I had control of the situation. I felt helpless, so vulnerable strapped here in my seat with nowhere to run…or hide if need be. How could I make them understand that without sounding so incredibly selfish?

Alice was so excited to have us all there with her, and Edward, even though he tried to downplay it and act all macho, really couldn't wait to see his parents, especially his mom because they were really close. I wanted to see them, as well, since the last time I saw them their son couldn't remember that I was his girlfriend…a little sad and embarrassing to say the least. It would be nice if they could see us as the happy couple we were who have been living together for months. I mean, we'd spoken on the phone tons of times, but I wanted them to see with their own eyes how in love we are and how we are lucky to have each other.

Lucky.

What did that word even mean anymore? Was it luck that because I breathed in too much smoke that I passed out, hitting my head on what must have been the sharp, pointed corner of Alice's desk, causing me to have a rather lovely reddish line of a scar over my right eyebrow? Maybe it was luck that I had to wear some fingerless glove that acted like an ace bandage to keep the gauze and tape covering my burns from slipping from the palm of my hand. I guess I should have felt lucky that I no longer could handle confining spaces - without a surge of panic blazing through me instantly before I relaxed realizing nothing bad was going to happen.

I felt like a demented version of Frankenstein.

Should I have felt lucky that I had to be mindful of the temperature of my food before I took a bite from it, not wanting to relive that horrible burning sensation that invaded my throat? I cringed at that thought, remembering the time around three weeks ago when I had stupidly ordered Wanton soup for lunch when Rose asked if I wanted to get take-out Chinese. I never again wanted to experience that kind of odd searing pain again. Ever. What an idiot I had been.

I hated feeling so bitter, so cynical. It reminded me of how I had been right after Jake and I broke up. Except this time, my cynicism was more bitter sarcasm at how damaged I really was, not just physically, but emotionally as well; a direct result from being trapped in a fire.

I didn't want to be damaged in any way, but I was. In fact, it was the physical damage that led my emotions astray, playing with my mind like a finely tuned fiddle. Anyone right now could complain, saying that I should be thanking God and whoever else was good and holy that I'd even made it out of that fire alive, that my injuries could have been more severe, leaving my entire face or limbs scarred for life. However, were they to blame for the fire breaking out in the first place? Were they to blame for leaving in the middle of a huge fight with their boyfriend, instead of just sticking it out for a little longer coming to some sort of truce? Lastly, were they to blame for causing said boyfriend, who was also a firefighter, to be sick with dread and the fear that his current girlfriend would share the same fate as his deceased girlfriend? Nope, they weren't to blame.

But I sure as hell was and that realization had caused me to feel an array of emotions from anger, guilt, to sadness. So how could I expect my friends to understand what I was going through? It was extremely frustrating to say the least.

I couldn't even say "ex" because that simply was not the case. The painful truth was that Edward and Tanya would most likely had been married by now if not for her tragically getting trapped in a fire and dying. This knowledge, tattooed into my brain, was painfully evident whenever I looked in the mirror and saw that red scar, whenever I had to air out my open blisters on the palm of my hand leaving them exposed in all their gross glory, whenever I had to wear that godforsaken fingerless glove, and whenever Edward would watch me with some faraway look in his eyes, smiling sadly.

He didn't have to let me in on what he was thinking. I knew it was about _her_ and how he was able to save me, but unfortunately not her. It's not that I thought he regretted rescuing me from that blaze, but the parallels between my and Tanya's situations were way too staggering for anyone _not _to notice. I was nothing but a walking reminder of one of the most important people he had lost in his world…a reminder of the fact that he was supposed to share his life with someone else…a reminder that Edward was going to ask Tanya to marry him before tragedy struck.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep cleansing breath, shaking my head slightly so I could erase the negative thoughts as I exhaled. I didn't want to focus on those awful things because I _did_ have so much to be thankful for. A few rows ahead of us were the four most amazing best friends I could ask for. They had been nothing short of awesome taking care of me after I got home from the hospital, putting up with my mood swings, making sure I rested, showered, and was fed properly.

Turning my head slightly, my eyes landed on the most gorgeous sight, a smile instantly tugging at my lips. There was my guy sleeping so soundly, his chest rising and falling with each languid breath he took. Lifting my hand, I gingerly ran my fingers through his thick, soft tuft of hair, needing to touch something, anything that was a part of Edward so I could feel close to him. What I really wanted to do was sit in his lap while he cradled me in his arms, like he usually did when he sensed that I need the warmth, the connection, the feeling that I was indeed safe.

The truth was he needed to feel the physical connection as much as I did. Since the fire, we had not been sexually intimate with one another, not that we both didn't want to. Rather, it was a mixture of Edward giving me time to heal on the inside as well as on the outside and me just needing space to process everything that was going on. We weren't necessarily awkward or "hands off" around one another, but neither of us was quite ready to shed our clothing and offer our bodies freely when we hadn't yet stripped the guilt we both shared over the argument that had essentially started the chain of events that followed.

My body was craving to touch him even more. Leaning towards his face, I reveled in the tickling sensation of Edward's soft nasal breaths against my cheek. A sense of calm and relief washed over me in gentle waves as the electricity sparked along my insides, awakening the familiar need to be physically bound to him in every possible way. Turning my head slightly, our lips were dangerously close to one another that I felt the heat emanating from them and I couldn't bare the longing anymore. My lips whispered along his delicately, conveying how much they missed their touch.

Moving back to my original position, I was happy that Edward was still deep in slumber as I really didn't wish to startle him. He had been working so hard for months with all that overtime, his schedule constantly changing. He barely got a decent week's rest, let alone one damn night, so if Edward wanted to sleep on the plane instead of talking me down from my anxiety ledge, then sleep he shall. After all, Edward was my hero, literally, and there wasn't anything big or small that I could do for him, or give him, to make us even. But that doesn't mean I would ever stop trying.

As I played with the strands of his hair with the tips of my fingers, I smiled slightly, recalling the last time I did this while he was sleeping. It was when I first woke up in the hospital. Feeling as though I'd had a rough night out and was about to have one hell of a hangover, I remembered my eyes fluttering open and then having to blink rapidly to get used to the extreme brightness. Instinctively, I closed my eyes, recalling the events that played out.

_My head might have felt like it was run over by a Mack truck, but it didn't take long for me to assess my surroundings, realizing where I was. I felt a little weight pressed against my midsection and looked down to see that someone was resting their head on me, facing the foot of my bed. _

_Edward? _

_He was sleeping and I felt badly waking him, so I let him rest for the time being._

_For some reason my right hand was throbbing, covered by layers of white gauze. I noticed that I was hooked up to an IV. I tried to scrunch my face, but it was as though my forehead wouldn't allow it. Apparently, there was gauze wrapped around my head like a mummy? Or at least that's what it felt like._

_What the hell had happened to me?_

_Just as I was about to start freaking out, a nurse walked in, stopping in her tracks as soon as she locked eyes with mine. She spotted Edward sleeping and a smile pulled at her lips as she shook her head slightly. All I could do was blink rapidly as she began to move in my direction, stopping to get my chart at the foot of the bed. After she was finished writing something down, she moved to check on the IV drip. She turned around and started to speak._

"_Someone's going to be very upset that he wasn't awake when you finally opened your eyes," she whispered, nodding her head in Edward's direction. _

"_Fin…," I tried to say, but all that came out was a gush of what felt like scorching hot air. My hands flew to my neck, covering my throat protectively as if that was going to stop the fierce burning sensation to stop._

_Ouch! What the hell? _

_I looked up at the sympathetic looking nurse who obviously guessed I was confused._

"_You were trapped in a fire, honey. You inhaled way too much smoke and passed out, but not before hitting your head on something real solid. Needed a good amount of stitches to close the wound up, but don't worry a very good plastic surgeon did it," she explained, rubbing my shoulder in a comforting, motherly way._

_All I could do was practically gape at her as I processed this new information. Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks…Holy Shit! I was in Alice's office and I fell asleep. When I woke up, there was all this smoke and suffocating heat. I had to get out of there and I remembered darting for the door…_

_My head immediately tilted towards my side, where my bandaged hand was lying. Looking back up at the nurse, I tried to formulate my question. Opening my mouth, I tried to speak again._

"_W-What h-happ?"_

_Holding up her hand to silence me, she answered me. "Oh sweetie, you burned the palm of your hand real good there. You received second degree burns, which are beginning to blister. Don't worry, though. You don't need skin graphs or anything. You will just be applying some burn cream and medicated ointment daily and then covering it up with gauze like you see now. We've been taking good care of you while you were resting, don't you worry your pretty brown eyes about that."_

_My mind was racing, spinning, trying to put together this massive puzzle piece by piece. Inhaling tons of smoke, hitting my head and passing out, plastic surgeons, stitches, second degree burns…_

"_Doorknob," I managed to breathe out, instantly regretting it because my throat felt like a fire breathing dragon that was very angry with me. Yes, I recalled reaching for the door and trying to turn the knob, but massively failing because my hand practically sizzled, causing me to yank it away very quickly._

"_Oh," was all she responded. She injected something into my IV line as I peered up at her nervously. "Just a little something to help make the pain go away. It's always worse when patients just wake from a long slumber," she spoke softly, gracing me with a warm smile again. _

"_You are a very lucky woman, Bella. From what Edward told me, the fire was pretty bad. He took his oxygen mask off to give you his air and he carried you down the stairs. Wouldn't even let the paramedics touch you until they convinced him to let you go. And don't even get me started on how he has sat vigil by your side. It took that spunky little thing with the crazy black hair to force him to change and shower. My oh my, can he put up a fight, though. Boy wouldn't even eat or drink…just held your hand and spoke with you. He even read to you. Yup, this guy loves you alright. I'm surprised he even let your dad come in for a visit. Edward was like a pit bull with visitors," she giggled heartily, most likely recalling the events that led to her descriptions she was giving me._

_My dad? My dad had come from Forks? Edward never left my room? Jesus, how long was I asleep for?_

"_For a little over a week," the nurse answered. I guess I said my thoughts aloud. "You were in a coma, dear."_

_A coma? My eyes went wide at that bit of information. Oh my God, Edward must have gone out of his mind. This most definitely brought back all the horrid memories of Tanya being in a fire. He probably thought I was going to die, just like her. Oh god, he must have been so scared._

_My heart ached, dropping to my stomach at the thought of Edward in such turmoil. I've caused him such grief and I felt so horrible. My poor, poor guy having to relive almost the same scenario._

"_I'm going to get the doctor now and tell him that our little sleeping beauty has awoken. Oh, and you may want to wake that prince of yours, as well." She trotted out of the room, her shoes squeaking against the shiny linoleum tiled floor. _

_As soon as she left, I began to process everything she'd told me as best as I could. One thing stood out among the rest, making my heart swell with love and admiration. Edward had risked his own life to save me, just like he does on a daily basis. But he wouldn't let me go, whereas he would have easily handed over someone else to the EMT's. Instead, Edward wanted to keep me safe in his arms until he knew I would be alright. _

_Oh, I could just imagine the fight he put up with anyone who was trying to help! However, that was Edward and I wouldn't change anything about him. When he loved you completely, he was loyal, compassionate, and would give his own life to save yours. I'd never felt so protected and so treasured in all my life._

_There was still so much to say about the night of our fight. I remembered everything, which meant I recalled that nasty argument we had and the fact that I walked out on him to go to Alice's shop. I was so damn angry and I had a right to be. Would he still be working overtime? Would he break another date, leaving me frustrated and disappointed? _

_It wasn't a question of whether or not he loved me now, but I still wondered where I ranked on his lists of priorities. Even though we loved each other whole heartedly, without communication, without making each other a priority once in a while, the relationship will go south sooner rather than later. I certainly didn't want that to happen._

_After he woke and turned his head to face me, I nearly died at the sight of him. Edward looked so tired, so drained of any animated life to him. My heart broke for him, knowing that me being in this accident had put him through his own personal hell. _

_His eyes were stained red at the rims and he hadn't shaved in a while. Cupping the side of his face with my hand, I stroked my thumb along his cheekbone while the short, coarse hairs were prickling at my fingers. I didn't mind the scruff, but knowing that the unkempt scruff was the direct result of keeping vigil by my side just made me want to shave it off him myself so he could be free of this burden and start fresh. _

_We never broke our gaze from one another as a small smile broke free on my face. Edward looked at me with such a yearning intensity as though he hadn't seen me in a long time and couldn't believe I was real or something. I guess he did have a right to feel that way since I hadn't been awake in a week. Not to mention, the last time we had seen each other we were so angry and had said hurtful things towards one another. That thought alone made my already aching throat constrict with emotions I was sure we should really address at that moment._

_Then Edward tilted his head, leaning into my touch as his eyes fluttered shut. I was so focused on soaking his presence in that it wasn't until I felt something wet creep under my thumb that I realized he was crying. This strong, confident man was crying freely in front of me and it didn't go unnoticed that Edward seemed to be relieved through his tears. Whenever Edward would swipe the tears away, a fresh round would gently fall, causing my emotions to act instinctively. Tears were welling, my eyesight slightly blurred as I realized just how attuned we were with one another. _

_If Edward ached, I ached just as much, if not more. I needed to comfort him with words and not just my touch. I had to tell him how much I loved him and how sorry I was that we had fought._

"_Don't cry. It's okay," I barely squeaked out. Between the large lump in my throat and the pain from the fire, I could barely speak._

_Edward grabbed my hand from his face and held it his. Through his own tears, he looked at me with fierce determination as he spoke the words I so desperately wanted to say first._

"_Bella, I thought I was going to lose you. I'm so sorry about our fight. I'm so sorry for working so much lately. I just need you to know how much I love you and how sorry I am about everything."_

_Shaking my head, I tried to formulate the words to say, but before I could, Edward squeezed my hand and insisted that I don't use my voice just yet, as it needed the rest. I squeezed his hand back in response, but I couldn't just sit back and not respond to his beautiful words…not when I wanted to reassure him that he hadn't lost me, that I never intended to go anywhere without him for the rest of my life._

"_I'm sorry, too. I love you," I declared with as much emphasis and emotion I could muster since I was forced to whisper._

_Hovering over me, Edward leaned down to place a soft kiss against my lips. The moment his lips pressed into mine, I melted into the bed. What I wanted to really do was grab the back of his head and hold him against me forever, but I was too weak. When Edward pulled away, I felt the loss pulling at me leaving only an empty ache in my chest._

_We definitely needed to air things out and not sweep anything under the rug once I got home. This was way too important to overlook and hopefully Edward would see that. I knew I was going to be okay, but the real question that needed to be answered was, were we going to be okay? I wasn't the only one who had just survived a traumatic experience; Edward did, as well. He had to suffer for days wondering if I was to endure the same fate as Tanya. _

_My head was throbbing at that thought. What if Edward would never get over the fear of losing me like he did her? Would he even want to be with me now, even though he said he loved me? _

_God, I hoped so._

_A few minutes after Edward left to alert our friends that I was awake, there was a soft knock at my door as it was opening at the same time. Looking up, I saw my dad nervously fidgeting with his hands, deciding whether he should walk in or not._

"_You can come in, Dad," I whispered. _

_Charlie sat in Edward's chair beside my bed. He looked me over and then smiled up at me. "You gave your old man quite the scare, Bells."_

"_I know. I'm so sorry, Dad, that you had to travel all the way here," I sadly breathed, my head hanging low with guilt._

"_Hey," he started, his voice stronger now as he took my chin with his fingers and lifted my head, forcing me to face him. "None of that, you hear me? Jesus, Bella, you were in a fire. I should hope that if the roles were reversed, you would have wanted a phone call. Speaking of phone calls, I was able to reach your mother in Japan. She was so panicked, she wanted to get on the first plane and fly over here, but I told her it wasn't necessary once I knew you were out of the woods, so to speak."_

_My mother had been living in Japan with her boyfriend Phil, who is playing minor league ball there. I haven't seen her in a long time, but we talk on the phone as often as we could. As much as I missed her, and would love nothing than for her to be with me right now, I knew that the trip was too far and too expensive to do on a whim. I made a mental note to call her as soon as my voice was strong enough to do so. _

"_Of course, Dad. I would have rushed to Forks to be with you, to help in any way. You know that. And that's okay about mom. At least she wanted to fly, knowing that I was hurt and in the hospital." _

"_Then why can't I do the same for my little girl, huh? I would have been devastated if you had any more serious injuries or worse. If you would have not made it out of that building alive and breathing, it would…it would have killed me, Bella," he choked out, his eyes becoming glassy at his last thought._

_Instantly, the tears pricked my eyes and began to spill over, sliding down my cheeks. Charlie and I were never ones to have long, deep discussions. We were close because we were the only family we really had, but my Dad and I rarely ever discussed our feelings for one another. So, when my father admitted that he would have died if I no longer breathed, well…that just spoke volumes, and I knew that even though he may not always show it, my dad loved me with all that he had._

"_Oh, Dad, I love you, too. And thanks for being here. It does mean so much that you're sitting beside me right now," I awkwardly whisper-sobbed. I wanted to scream I was so irritated that I couldn't find my voice without it being so painful._

"_So, I finally got to meet Edward in person," my dad started. "He's a good guy, Bells. Edward is the one who called me as soon as you were settled in a room. And he introduced himself as soon as I came to the hospital. Came right up and shook my hand, but little did I know that it was me who should have ran up to him and introduced myself."_

"_Oh yeah? Why is that?" I wondered. Charlie had this odd look on his face. It was a mixture of awe and sadness._

"_You know, I wasn't too crazy with the idea of you living with him after a short amount of time, plus after everything that happened with his accident and all. But, I knew it was best not to say anything because I'm not around all the time and you're a big girl who can make her own decisions. But you always sounded happy, so I didn't pry. Plus, from what you tell me of him from time to time, it seems as though he gives you a run for your money and doesn't take too much of your stubborn shit," he laughed a hearty belly laugh._

"_Dad!" I hoarsely chuckled. My dad never really cursed too much around me and when he did, it was either part of a joke he was telling me or it was because he was enraged. It was refreshing to hear him laugh so carefree like this. I hoped he really was happy that I was with Edward._

"_Well, you can be pretty tough to take, young lady, but your boy can take it and isn't afraid to challenge you. I like that. Shows he's got spunk. What I didn't know about Edward until meeting him is that he is a truly honorable man and you know I don't say those words lightly about anyone, Bella."_

"_Yeah, he's amazing, Dad. And he's so good to me, he really is, but I'm wondering why you would call him honorable from a simple handshake and a conversation. That really isn't like you," I told Charlie. It was true, Charlie was not one to give compliments, and especially to someone I was dating._

"_Well, I had no idea that he literally rescued you from that fire. He never even mentioned it to me. Instead, he just spoke about you, your injuries, and the progress you were making before I even arrived. A selfish person would have boasted about being some hero, but he was modest, too modest if you ask me."_

"_Who told you then?"_

"_Alice did. After she cried and apologized that she left you alone to rest, which needed no apology at all, she started in on what happened as soon as Edward and the rest of his fire company came to the scene."_

_Charlie shifted in his seat, trying to find a comfortable position before he rested his elbows on the edge of my hospital bed. Taking my good hand in his, he smiled up at me._

"_He loves you more than anything in this whole world, Bells. We had a good, long talk and I know without a doubt that you are safe with Edward. I never felt like that when you were with Jake. That ass always seemed to have his thoughts occupied somewhere else whenever I tried to talk with him. But not Edward, he gives you his full attention, especially when the topic of conversation is you. He's a keeper, and he sure as hell wants to keep you forever," he chuckled again, shaking his head slightly as if recalling something Edward had said to him._

* * *

"Here's your wine, ma'am," the flight attendant said softly, not wanting to wake the sleeping passengers around us.

I blinked, shaking my head from the memory I was just stuck in.

"Oh. Thank you," I mumbled, sitting up straighter and unlocking my tray table.

Taking the small bottle and the plastic glass with ice from her hands, I set them down on the table and proceeded to open the bottle, tilting it so that the wine cascaded over the protesting, cracking ice. I knew it was a major faux pas drinking red wine with ice, but the thought of drinking something warm made me cringe. I didn't want to think about any more of my neurotic idiosyncrasies any more than I had to.

The cold wine felt good against my throat. Even though my throat was fully healed now, once in a while when I had to cough out a tickle, it would bring back the feeling of being in burning pain. It was something that I knew I would get over eventually with time.

"Psst. Hey honey. How are you holding up?" Alice whispered, taking in Edward's still sleeping form and gracing me with a smile. She was leaning her elbow on the top of Edward's seat so she could get closer to me.

"Good," I lied, not wanting to bother her with the crap I had still swirling around in my head. I had definitely bothered her enough.

She sighed and I knew that she didn't really buy what I was telling her. "Alright, but if you want to talk just pop on down the aisle and come visit. Jasper and Emmett are fast asleep, too and they are both snoring. I finally convinced Jasper to move to the seat next to Emmett to sleep so Rose and I could sit and chat," she giggled quietly before blowing me a kiss and heading back up to her seat.

It had been over a month, but I still felt so fucking guilty over ruining Alice's design studio. Let's face it - I didn't really know how the hell to turn off that damn iron…whatever the hell that monstrosity was. I thought I knew how to work that machine, but apparently not.

Her entire fall collection…ruined. Her favorite mannequin, one of those dainty old fashioned ones that she had used since design school…charred to a crisp; nothing but melted wire now. Ugh! I wanted to tear at my hair in hopes to rip away those haunting thoughts that prevented me from getting a decent night's sleep.

I stared out my window into the dark night sky, scenes of the past weeks were flashing like a slideshow against the black nothingness. I wanted to look away and just forget how stupid I acted at times, but I couldn't tear myself from the images. Yes, I was extremely thankful that I didn't sustain any other life threatening injuries, but I was still so damn furious with myself…frustrated in feeling helpless and weak. For the most part, I was a stellar recovering patient; my friends nothing but the pillar of support I desperately needed.

Instead of getting things done for themselves or just being with each other, they pitched in by keeping me company, making me dinner, doing my laundry, and just being lazy laughing and watching movies with me. Of course, not every time they were there for me was it nice and laid back...

_I was having a particularly rough day, definitely waking up in a foul mood, hating the fact that I was stuck at home taking it easy during my summer vacation from work. What was even more annoying was that Alice and Rosalie just wouldn't let me be. God forbid I was feeling a tad sorry for myself and wanted to crawl into a hole just to have some solitude for a while, be alone with my thoughts. The more they slapped on freakishly happy faces for my benefit, the more agitated I became, causing my skin to literally twitch. I mindlessly scratched the same spot on my forearm over and over out of anxiety and nerves. _

_It was as though I didn't have the freedom to express my thoughts and feelings without getting overridden by the girls' incessant attempts to forcefully dredge up happier times just to make me smile. Don't get me wrong, I loved them dearly, but I wanted some space like a claustrophobic person wanted air. _

_Edward was trying to over compensate the fact that he had to keep on working while I was in recovery because he took off during my stay in the hospital. He had Jasper, Emmett, Alice and Rose keeping a watchful eye on me. Everyone was suffocating me so much that I was crumbling, coming undone on the inside. Just the very thought made my stomach wrench and twist._

_Tears started to swell in my eyes and I was just so frustrated that now I was crying. Every once in a while my insecurities about Edward would creep in my head, reminding me that they still existed and weren't going anywhere. I hated that they were here running rampant and creating havoc in my already tired head._

"_I just want it to go away," I sniffled._

_Immediately, Rose and Alice flanked to my sides on the couch, each had an arm draped around my shoulders protectively._

"_What needs to go away, Bella?" Rosalie asked softly._

_Shaking my head in shame, I tried to formulate my answer coherently. "That freaking feeling of dread. That guilty feeling I have whenever I glance into the mirror and realize that he was supposed to be with her," I sobbed loudly, burying my head in the crook of Alice's neck._

"_Ssh, Bella. It'll be okay," Alice cooed in my ear, kissing the top of my head._

"_No, it won't," I cried harder. "I see the way Edward looks at me, Alice. His eyes give away his secret."_

"_What secret, Bella? What are you talking about? Edward loves you," Rose reasoned, sounding a bit confused at my words._

"_Rose is right. Edward does love you so much, Sweetie."_

"_I know he loves me, but now I can't help thinking that he was going to ask her to marry him. Now with what happened with me, this completely took Edward back to those days with her and it only fueled him to reminisce about how he wished to spend the rest of his life with her." The tears were rolling uncontrollably down my face; my nose was a runny mess. I asked for a tissue and Rose handed me one._

"_Please don't think that way, Bella. It'll only hurt more to think about what could have been had Tanya not passed away. For whatever reason, Edward wasn't supposed to be with her forever. He's supposed to be with you," Rose stated, rubbing my shoulder soothingly._

"_No, I can't believe that. Look at what almost happened to me. I almost received the same fate as Tanya. If I'm supposed to be with him, then he'd ask me to marry him. But he hasn't and he probably won't."_

"_Oh, Bella, you don't know that. You never know what will happen," Alice tried to reason with me, but it didn't make me feel any better._

_I sat up, darting my eyes between my two friends, I flashed them an incredulous glance. _

"_Please give me some credit here. My injuries are a huge reminder of who Edward maybe should have ended up with," I started, jumping up from my spot and turning to face them._

"_You see this?" I pointed to the slightly puckered, red streak that adorned the top of my right eyebrow. "This gross, ugly line will forever be part of my features, even when it turns white. No matter how faint this scar will become, it will always be a deep, dark, red reminder of what, or should I say _who_ Edward lost."_

_My voice cracked at the end of my bold statement as the tears pricked at my eyes, taunting me, reminding me that I deserved this because the fire was my fault. I shook my head, trying to rid it of the demons that were crawling inside me. On the outside, I merely looked like a crying person who was obviously upset. However, I was a tangled mess inside, the memories of Edward crying at Tanya's gravesite hovering over me like the darkest of storm clouds._

_Rosalie and Alice were still like stone statues, their eyes watery and glassy as they listened with rapt attention to my sudden emotional tirade. Perhaps what I was trying to convey was finally seeping into their brains. Maybe they thought I had a point; that they, too, felt the fire was dredging up old ghosts of Edward's, causing him to rethink his future with me._

_Staring down at my right hand, I lifted it so that it was in front of my face as I proceeded to strip the ace bandaged glove along with the tape and gauze covering the hideous healing burns. My friends' eyes widened with shock; I never took my dressings off in front of people…never. They knew how sensitive I felt about people trying to sneak a peek at it._

"_Oh, God…and this," my voice trembling as I revealed the inside of my hand to them. "This disgusting…thing that has marked my palm is nothing but a wretched reminder of the burns that Tanya received, except hers were worse because she didn't make it out of her fire. She died and I lived and that is what Edward has got to be thinking any time he looks at this."_

_I just stood there, letting the tears cascade down my face in sorrowful streaks as I covered my face with my hands and sobbed, not caring what a fool I was making of myself in front of my best friends. It was better them than Edward, right?_

_Just then, because that's how much the universe loved me, Edward, Emmett and Jasper walked in, announcing their arrival with the closing of the apartment door. The sound brought me back to Earth as I looked up, noticing their faces were laced with confusion and…pity maybe?_

"_Everything okay in here?" Emmett hedged tentatively as Jasper and Edward continued to focus their attention on me, not even acknowledging anyone else in the room._

_As quick as a flash, Alice and Rosalie pulled at my arms, whisking me down the hall into the bathroom. The cool water they splashed on my face sobered me from my morbid, depressing thoughts. As they patted my face dry, Alice and Rose were whispering to me words of strength and encouragement. They were informing me of how much they loved and supported me as they brushed the wet hair from my face and affixed a clip at the top of my head, holding the runaway hairs in place. The dark circles under my eyes were masked with concealer and my eyelashes were dressed with mascara. Rose even put a little bit of blush on my cheeks to make me look halfway decent._

_Edward could never know the haunting thoughts that possessed my dreams and that started to filter into my days. I didn't want to burden him with more than he was already handling when it came to me. I couldn't just waltz out of the bathroom as though I had never been crying my eyes out, but I could pretend that I was over my spell, that what was making me upset no longer did. I felt horrible that I had to lie, tucking away my feelings under the deepest corner of my being, but I would for Edward. _

_The truth was, I was deathly afraid that he would leave me one day. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could ever make me crumble and fall apart but Edward leaving me. Without Edward, my world would cease to exist._

**

* * *

**Two days later, Esme, Alice, Rose, and I were off to the Ritz Carlton, a possible venue for Alice and Jasper's wedding. We had already been to three other places that morning, each not satisfying whatever Alice's wedding needs and requirements were. Jasper's parents and the Cullens were splitting the cost of the wedding, with Alice and Jasper chipping in for some extra things they had wanted. Her needs changed on a daily basis, and since she was the bride, Rose, Esme, and I zipped our lips and only spoke our opinions when asked. She wasn't an overbearing bridezilla, which was good, because Rosalie and I were ready to put her in her place at a moment's notice, knowing how Alice can be at times. I knew what planning a wedding entailed, but that never came to fruition thankfully.

Turned out Alice absolutely fell in love with the grand ballroom. We all _oohed_ and _ahhed _in agreement as we stood in the center of the large rectangular dance floor underneath the massive crystal chandelier. Alice beckoned the wedding planner over so she could deliver the exciting news and make sure the date in question was still available. Esme laughed, rolling her eyes as she informed Alice that a February wedding in Chicago would be no problem since it was still the dead of winter around there.

Since Valentine's Day was on a Monday, and she wanted it on a Saturday, Alice opted to have her and Jasper's wedding on February nineteenth. We all squealed, encasing ourselves in a group hug, congratulating Alice and just being so happy for her. She swiped a few tears away from her face as she pulled her cell phone from her pocket, calling Jasper and informing him that he and the other men had to get their butts on over here to see the location she had chosen.

As Alice went with the planner to her office, Esme and Rose excused themselves to find a restroom. I gravitated towards the massive windows which outlined the entire room. We weren't extremely high up, but the windows made it feel as though we were floating in the air amidst neighboring buildings, headed for Lake Michigan, its deep blue color making it look amazingly peaceful.

Gazing out into the evening sky, the sun was making its fiery orange mark as it was trying to set. The twinkling lights of the faraway buildings reflecting off one another made everything encased in some magical bubble with this ballroom smack in the middle.

I began fantasizing about planning a wedding for Edward and me. I really hoped that day would come in time. I would never pressure Edward, considering my mood swings lately, but I would be lying if I said that thoughts of being _Mrs. Edward Cullen_ never entered my mind at least once a day.

I was so caught up in the breathtaking view that I hadn't noticed that someone had sidled up next to me.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Esme asked softly, nudging her shoulder with mine, a smile gracing her face.

"Yes, it is. The lights make everything sparkle at night," I sighed wistfully, still enraptured with my musings involving Edward. I played with the charms on my bracelet absentmindedly just to feel close to him.

Hearing the tinkling of the tiny charms clanking against one another, Esme lightly grabbed my wrist, lifting my arm so she could get a closer look.

"I knew that he was going to get this for you before his accident. Edward was so excited, he sounded like a little boy when he told me what he wanted to put on this," she mused, her fingertips brushing along every charm.

"Really?" I asked, sounding hopeful, wanting to believe that he was that excited over a present meant for me.

"Yes really," his mother laughed. "This is the first time I am seeing this and it's so lovely. I have to say that my son has excellent taste…and that includes who he chooses to be in a relationship with."

I turned so my body was facing her. "Thank you, Esme. That means so much coming from you. I can't even express how much I appreciate you saying that right now," I smiled, my eyes filling with tears. I was truly touched.

"Oh, come now," she rubbed my back. "How could I not love that you're with my son…Carlisle, too, for that matter? You have turned his world on its axis in such an amazing way that has changed him for the better. You are so good for him, Bella and Edward's well aware of that, too."

I couldn't say anything as the words of love and admiration poured from Esme's mouth. I don't know how I managed to hold back the waterworks, but I did. I had done enough crying and I didn't want to make Esme feel uncomfortable.

Esme turned my wrist so that my hand was palm up. I looked at her questioningly as she started to lift my glove and remove it gingerly from my hand. I cringed slightly once I saw the redness appear.

"Does it hurt still?" Esme asked, a look of sympathy splashing across her face. "God, you must have been so scared."

"I'm okay…now that is. It doesn't hurt really. It's more like an annoying numbing feeling," I shrugged, beginning to feel uncomfortable that my burn mark was exposed.

Esme assessed my face contorting, no doubt trying to read my thoughts. "You know, you don't have to keep this covered all the time. You should let the fresh air hit it once in a while."

"I do…when I'm sleeping," I mumbled. The glove was completely off now and it took all the willpower I had in me not to yank it from Esme's hands…politely, of course.

She tilted her head slightly to one side. "Are you embarrassed by your scar? I'm not going to tell you how you should feel, but I will add my two cents, if that's okay."

I nodded.

Esme breathed a big sigh before she started in. "Bella, you don't have to hide your injury as though you're ashamed it's there. What happened was an accident, plain and simple. Yes, Alice's studio and clothes were damaged, but that's what insurance is for. It's not like her store was burned to the ground and she has nothing left. Because she still has you. In fact, we're _all_ lucky that we still have you here with us. No store or design studio is more important than you. Please learn to believe that.

Let this scar be a reminder of how much you have persevered in order to get to where you are now. This mark makes you stronger, not weaker like you think. Just remember that things happen for a reason and that there are many situations and circumstances that are far beyond our control, so it's nearly impossible to fathom why the bad things happen…and even the good ones. You just have to accept it and try to move on. You are one brave woman, Bella, and covering this up won't make us think otherwise."

A few tears spilled over, falling in big, fat, drops. I got the feeling she wasn't just talking about the palm of my hand at that last part. I wondered if Alice may have briefly mentioned my emotional outburst from a few weeks ago. It wouldn't surprise me, but what did shock me were the reasons Esme just gave me for why I shouldn't keep my hand covered. I had lots of mixed emotions swirling around concerning this. I didn't know what to do or what to feel.

"I-I don't know if I'm ready to leave it off yet, Esme. All I'm certain of is that I need a little more time to think it over. Wearing the glove makes me feel better in some small way. It keeps the…ghosts at bay, if that makes any sense," I admitted, stammering nervously over my words.

Esme handed me back the glove and I quickly affixed it over my scar. After wiping the few tears that had fallen, I glanced up at Esme and smiled, much like the warm one she was giving me.

"Thank you, Esme. I want to feel completely better and I will. I appreciate your two cents and I will think about what you said," I stated, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"No need to thank me, Bella. Just know that Carlisle and I are here for you any time. You're part of our family."

"Am I interrupting something?" A husky, sexy voice filled the air around us, immediately breaking my and Esme's bubble.

"Mom, why is my girlfriend crying? Bella, is everything alright?" Edward's eyes were darting between me and his mother. His forehead creased with worry when he saw my red stained, glassy eyes. There was no hiding it from him. Edward sounded so sweet, so protective as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close against his chest.

"She's fine, son. There's no need to keep her away from me," his mother giggled. "Bella and I were just having a little heart to heart, that's all." Esme walked away, greeting her husband with a kiss, and started talking with Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper.

"Yes, she's right, Babe. I swear, everything's fine," I smiled as Edward fingers were brushing along my cheeks, erasing the remnants of my tears.

"Okay," he sighed. "I'll believe you…for now. So, this is where the big event will happen, huh?"

"Uh huh. Isn't this place gorgeous? I mean look at this view, Edward. And look over at the water over there," I pointed, tugging on his hand like an excited child who wanted to show off her shiny new toy. Now that I was with Edward, physically touching him, I was in a much happier mood. I felt calm and safe…like I always did when I was near him.

A crooked grin tugged at his lips as he surveyed the surroundings and then capturing my eyes with his. He was so pretty, my heart swelled a thousand times over just looking at him. I couldn't help the wide smile that broke free.

"Yup, it's certainly beautiful," he whispered, closing the distance between us and rewarding me with a slow, soft kiss that was respectable enough in front of his parents. Lord knows that if they weren't in the room, then I would have just dove on in and feasted on his pouty lips, but I couldn't do that. Not after the beautiful words Esme just spoke to me moments ago.

"So, is this the kind of place where you would want your big event to take place?" he questioned, his eyes bright and sparkling with curiosity.

The heat was quickly spreading up my body, as I flushed with shyness at his bold question. Was he implying _our_ wedding? I'm sure I heard correctly, but still I had to wonder. That's just in my nature to.

"Uh…yes…I guess. Um…after all, it's every girl's dream to plan her dream…big event," I fumbled over my words, too embarrassed to say _wedding_. I had to look away. _Geez, did my response even make sense? _I swear Edward had the power to turn me into mush. One measly kiss and _poof_! I was powerless against him.

He laughed, throwing his head back at my response. His face was glowing when he locked eyes with me again. "Huh. Is that so? Well, that's good to know, Baby. Good to know indeed," he said before leaning down, covering my mouth with his for another sweet kiss.

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The next day was a lazy one, the girls and I opting to stay back home while Edward took Emmett over to his old fire company to introduce him to his Chicago boys. Carlisle and Jasper were in and out of the house, running errands for Esme. Apparently, she was in the mood to make Edward's favorite meal, but she was acting as though it was a holiday or something the way she was fussing over what tonight's dinner should be. We were sitting at the table enjoying some girl talk, when Alice shot up and breezed out of the room. The three of us just looked at each other and shrugged.

Literally a minute later, Alice was back with her cosmetic bag. She took her place next to me again and grabbed my hands. Esme and Rose just giggled as I tried to pull away from Alice's strong grasp.

"Oh Jesus, you need your nails done, Bella. Seriously, when was the last time you has a manicure, huh? Gosh, why hadn't I thought of that?" Alice admonished herself…and me I suppose.

"Chill out, Pix. I haven't had them done in a while, but you can do them if you'd like."

"Oh! Let me do yours, Esme, please?" Rosalie offered, sitting up straighter and taking Esme's hands in hers.

"Sure, Sweetie. I haven't been pampered in quite some time, so it would be nice for someone to be brave enough to cut my cuticles," Esme laughed.

Alice was now on hyper speed or something as she stole a glance at the clock. "Shit, there's not much time. Damn it! I really wanted to do this for you, Bella"

"Um…okay. Alice, honey, we have plenty of time to paint my nails now if you'd like. Just please relax for me…and breathe slow and even breaths."

She scoffed at my words. "Plenty of time…that's what you think, missy," she mumbled to herself. My friend really wasn't making much sense, but I knew not to ever argue with Alice when she was in a mood like this.

Whatever her mood was, it seemed to have rubbed off on Esme and Rosalie as we spent the next hour pampering each other's nails. Everyone was acting strange, even Jasper and Carlisle. When they had returned from the store, I could have sworn they were out of breath, like they were literally racing one another to see who could take the bags of groceries in the fastest. It was equally bizarre when they asked if they had missed anything, looking up at the wall clock, and then letting out a sigh of relief when Rose shot them a pointed look, just muttering, "Not yet."

The strangeness didn't let up, either. Alice threatened my life if I even so much as moved a finger after she painted my nails a pretty, shimmery, chocolate brown color. She led me to the living room, setting me on the couch, and even choosing the TV show I was to watch. Rosalie sat beside me, giggling the whole time, while Esme, after her nails were dry, started working on dinner for us.

Once in a while, she would pop in to see how we were doing, but not before winking and smiling at me. The more I sat there and thought about it, the clearer it all came. My birthday was less than two weeks away and since we weren't going to be here to celebrate it with Edward's parents, everyone wanted to surprise me with a nice dinner.

_Maybe they went in on some big gift for me and that's why they are acting like Stepford people, smiling and giggling whenever they look at me._

It was getting to be close to five o'clock and I wondered when Edward and Emmett would return. I kind of missed him and I really wanted to spend some time with him, maybe go to a movie to be alone for a little while. It's not that I didn't want to hang with everyone, but between my recovery and Edward working to make up for his absence, we really hadn't gotten to be with each other…like alone "with" in a short while. We were sleeping in the same bed in Edward's room, but we still hadn't even fooled around…heavy petting, yes, but there wasn't any release on both ends. That depressed me as I thought about how much I missed _all _of Edward.

The sound of sirens broke me from my haze. They weren't just any sirens, they were the distinct sound of fire engine sirens and they were screeching louder and louder as though a truck was headed right down our street.

_Don't even tell me that Edward went out on a damn fire call!_

Carlisle and Jasper shot up from their card game in the dining room and ran out the door like they were the ones on fire.

"What's up with them?" Really, this day was so weird, nothing would surprise me now.

"Uh, they just remember they forgot something at the store…an ingredient I needed for the pie I'm baking later," Esme said, spilling over her words, trying to sound calm.

Rosalie and Alice started talking in hushed whispers about something important by the way their heads were huddled together. The sirens weren't letting up and they were getting closer and closer until spinning red lights were reflecting off the walls of the living room. I turned to see what was happening outside through the big living room window and noticed that the fire truck was parked right in front of the house.

"Hey, you ladies think that a neighboring house is on fire? I mean, look at all the guys packed into that truck spilling out like a circus clown car. Esme, shouldn't we check it out just in case the blaze is right next door?" For a split second, I started to panic, the erratic heartbeat just dying to punch through my ribs, but I held it together with the comfort knowing that I wasn't alone.

"Bella, can you go into Edward's room and get me my purse? I think I left it there earlier. Then we can go check out the scene outside," Alice chimed in, smiling away. Wasn't she the slightest bit sorry for the poor people whose house was probably beginning to be engulfed in flames? Who knows, maybe it was a silly oven fire or a carbon monoxide alarm that went off, and this was all for nothing.

"Sure, Alice. I'll be right back."

I couldn't find Alice's purse and called down to let her know. She told me not to leave the room and that she would be right up. The lights were still flashing and curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to sneak a little peek at all the commotion outside.

Edward's room faced the street and one of the windows had a small balcony hanging from it. It was big enough for about two or three people. It wasn't incredibly wide, but it wasn't a really tight fit, either. Opening the window, I climbed out and stood peering over like a little kid who shouldn't be out here.

That's when I saw it…nothing. Absolutely nothing. There was no commotion, no fire blazing in the distance, not even someone screaming for help in a panic. In fact, the street was deserted of all life forms except for my friends, some firemen and _him_.

There Edward was, donning his old fire uniform, standing next to his buddies in front of the truck. The sight of him nearly took my breath away as I smiled in his direction, locking eyes with him and only him. Nothing beats a man in uniform, but seeing Edward in a uniform was like finding water in the dessert, like watching a shooting star glide across the sky, like anything wonderful you could imagine. That was what it was like…and he was all mine.

I still couldn't help feeling horribly confused. Why weren't the fire fighters walking around assessing the surrounding area? Why was everyone staring up at me, smiling at me like they were in on a secret that I obviously wasn't privy to?

Most importantly, as delicious as Edward looked in his fire fighting gear, _why_ was he dressed like the others? Emmett, too? Have they been going out on calls all day? We were on vacation. Did they _really_ feel the need to volunteer their services when I knew there were more than enough people who were working. After all, they were all standing before me wearing the same thing.

I saw his crooked grin widen as he bore his teeth. My eyes gravitated towards the twinkling white lights that outlined the top of the truck. It was really pretty, but I wondered why they were there. Come to think of it, the truck looked completely spotless and shiny from up here. My face crinkled in bewilderment.

I looked around and noticed Emmett whispering something in Edward's ear that made him shake his head and laugh. Then I saw Emmett run over to Rosalie, picking her up gently and kissing her. He said something to Rose that made her giggle and rub her belly ever so discreetly, but not discreetly enough for me not to notice. However, I was standing up higher than the others who couldn't see what she was doing. I smiled at the possibility of what that tiny action could imply.

"Hey, Alice! Weren't you supposed to come up here and help me look for _your_ purse?" I yelled, noticing that Carlisle and Jasper were standing with Alice and Esme. Now I was really confused, but I gave up hours ago trying to decipher what was going on.

Alice gave me a playful toothy grin and shouted back, "Nope. I guess Edward will have to help you with that."

Just then, I heard a machine-like sound, as I noticed Edward hopping into a white bucket. He was being lifted into the air, headed towards the balcony. He had taken off his hat and coat, leaving him in his blue work t-shirt that was fitted to his muscular form and his fire pants that were being held up by red suspenders. My mouth was watering at the sight of him coming closer to me, looking like that.

When he finally reached me, I stood back a little, allowing Edward some space as he climbed out of the bucket and onto the balcony. He stood before me in all his fireman glory with one hand in his pocket.

"What are you doing here, Edward? Why is everyone down there? And why is everyone looking at us and smiling?" I fired off nicely, but still so damn bewildered.

"Well, like Alice said, maybe I can help you find what you were looking for."

"She can't find her bag. It's hardly a call for the fire department to take care of it, so why don't you tell me the _real_ reason why you and your fire team are here, because I think it's for my birthday," I joked, playfully shoving him in the chest.

"Wow, I didn't even think of that," he chuckled. "No, my beautiful Bella, this is not for your birthday."

He was fishing something out of his pocket as he moved closer in my direction.

"Like I said before, I'm here to give you what you have been looking for." Edward reached for my left hand and held it before him, palm up, as he delicately placed a small, black velvet box in it.

Instantly, my eyes widened, my heart pitter-pattering like crazy against my chest wanting to explode from combustion. I knew what that black box represented…and I just felt what was in there certainly wasn't earrings. Suddenly, everything made sense to me as I quickly replayed today's events in my head. All the smiling, all the fumbling of words, all the hushed whispers, making sure my nails were done up just so, the decorated fire truck…they knew what Edward was planning.

Some of his friends were yelling up to Edward, which brought me back to the here and now…and possibly my proposal?

"Come on, Eddie! Just ask her already, will ya? Don't get all shy on us now," they playfully taunted my boyfriend, who was actually flushed with embarrassment.

Aw, my man was getting all shy on me. I think I just fell in love with him all over again.

Once again, I was crying, except now it was for a happy reason. I just stood there, frozen, unable to even wrap my fingers around the box, for fear that if I tried to, it would vanish before me and I would wake up from this pleasant dream.

"It's okay, Baby. Don't cry. This is something really good, I promise."

I nodded and smiled in response, urging him to continue.

"Bella, from the moment you bumped into me, I took one look at you and I was a goner. One measly look and I knew that I had to have you forever. We both may have been stubborn at first, but eventually, I wised up and realized I could no longer fight what I was holding back. I'm pretty sure I loved you from the moment I turned you and your class away that day. You are the air I breathe, Bella, and without you, I am nothing."

He smiled before he continued, "Now, before you start protesting and adding your take on events, I want you to understand one thing, Miss Bella Swan. I love you…all of you, which means the parts that are hidden physically and emotionally."

Edward kissed my forehead before ghosting his lips over to where my scar was over my eyebrow. His lips lingered over that area as he moved his head back and forth.

"You once said that your injuries were a painful reminder of what I had lost, that I would never want to be with you fully because of that," he started.

"Wait, how did you kn…"

"Jasper, Emmett, and I overheard you as I was unlocking our door. You ladies didn't hear us," he interjected, his eyes apologetic.

Cupping my face in his hands, he brushed my scar with his thumb. "How could you ever think that? Baby, when I look at you, I don't just see your injuries, I see the woman who I am madly in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with."

"This scar," he brushed over it again, "is a reminder of what I _never_ lost.

"Your anxiety over confined spaces now is a reminder of what I have."

"Your burn," he continued, removing his hands from my face and lifting my right hand. He slipped off my glove and kissed his way over my injury. I didn't cringe this time. I melted, his kisses like hot chocolate relief after a day of playing in the snow, burning my insides deliciously.

"It's a reminder of what I will_ never_ lose because I plan on protecting you and loving you until the day I die and beyond that. So, you see, Baby, every time I happen to see your injuries, I am reminded of just how lucky I am that a woman like you is with someone like me. I love you so much and you make me so happy by just being the wonderful person you are."

Edward paused, taking a deep breath, before he removed the velvet box from my hand and dropped down on one knee in front of me. He carefully opened the box, and looked up at me.

"Please make me the luckiest man on earth and be my wife? Marry me, Bella. I can make you happy, Beautiful…I promise," he said, smiling nervously.

He faced the open part of the box so I could look at it. My eyes bulged at a rather large, round, sparkly diamond with tiny little round diamonds lacing the white gold…or platinum band. It was strikingly beautiful, and I really, really wanted to wear it on my finger, marking me as Edward's forever.

Looking down at him through tear soaked eyes, I smiled. "You already make me happy."

"Does that mean that you'll marry me?" Edward swallowed thickly, his voice cracking with nerves.

"Yes," I breathed. "Yes! Hell yes I will marry you!" I finally found my voice as I screamed it for the onlookers below to hear.

Edward took the ring which was nestled in velvet between his fingers while taking my left hand and gliding that beautiful ring along that ever so important finger. Now the ring was lying between my middle and pinky fingers; it's new home, where it will never leave…_ever_.

Edward stood up and held my head in his hands, wiping away the stray tears.

"I love you, Isabella," he whispered as his lips closed in on mine, giving me a very heated, sexy kiss.

We didn't come up for air as I snaked my arms around his neck…not even when he picked me up and swung me from side to side gently…and not even when our friends and family down below were catcalling, whistling, cheering, clapping. You name it, they were doing it.

When we finally broke apart, we both gave each other the same googly eyed expression.

"Alright, everyone. Show's over. I'd like to be alone with my beautiful fiancée now," Edward laughed, smiling so wide I thought his mouth was going to be like that permanently.

The bucket started to go back down and doors of the fire truck slammed shut. Edward's firemen friends shouted their goodbyes and drove away without the sirens this time. My friends, along with Esme and Carlisle shouted how they would be back a little later to have dinner with us.

"Where are they going?" I asked, waving good-bye to them from the balcony. Alice and Rose were winking and blowing me kisses. I threw them back one of each.

"Well, I just proposed to my girlfriend, who happened to say _yes_. I'd like a little time alone with her, if you don't mind." Smiling deviously, he crawled through the window and helped me get back into his room.

I was utterly speechless, as my smile etched deeper into my face. Edward began to saunter over to me, a predatory gleam in his eyes, as I began to back up towards the bed. Oh yes, it was safe to say that Edward was done giving me my space as he had this past month. My heart thudded rapidly as the want and the desire I craved pulsed through me.

"You don't mind do you, Bella, if I make love to my fiancée now?"

I returned the same devilish smirk to him. I was never so eager for a reunion in my life.

"Why no, Edward. I don't mind at all."

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****A/N: Next update won't take so long!**

**So, was the proposal to your liking? How about the rest of the chapter? **

**Please review and tell us what you thought of the chapter. I'm sorry it was incredibly lengthy, but Bella had lots of things to say! **

**Yesterday was September 11****th****, which was a hard day for Pauline and I. ****We both have parents that were directly involved in 9/11. My mom worked in The World Trade Center just barely getting out of tower 2 before the building started to crumble. Pauline's father was a NYC Firefighter. Thankfully they both got to live to see another day, while so many did not. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those who lost loved ones on that fateful day. Never forget.**

_**"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave." ~ Elmer Davis**_

***One more regular chapter left and then an epilogue. We can't believe how this story is winding down. We'll miss writing it. ****On the 9****th**** was actually my and Pauline's one year anniversary of posting this story. Geez, time flies, huh?**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Hi everyone, just a quick note. This chapter is unbeta'd. We will be replacing it with the beta'd version when we receive it back from out wonderful, but completely overworked beta, SweetDulcinea. Nothing will change content wise, so there won't be any need to re-read it, but we just wanted to give you a heads up.**

**This is the last regular chapter of this story, but we still have the epilogue to come. We have also posted outtakes for this story, as well as our other story "Beautiful Stranger." You can find them on our profile page, if you haven't already done so. We will be adding to the outtakes periodically so please alert it if you are interested in reading them in the future.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns all…now let's get to it already.**

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*EPOV***

"_You don't mind; do you, Bella, if I make love to my fiancée now?"_

_She returned the same devilish smirk to me. "Why no, Edward. I don't mind at all."_

She said _yes_! She had fucking agreed to marry me and I couldn't help the ecstatic feeling of happiness that swelled within my chest as I laid her down on my childhood bed.

Once her head hit the pillow I kissed the tip of her nose and smiled at her. She smiled back at me as I stood up and kicked off my boots, and removed the suspenders from my shoulders that held up my heavy duty work pants. Once those were off I kneeled onto the mattress and crawled back up to her. I settled on my knees in between her legs and just stared down at her. She was beaming up at me with such utter happiness, and after all we had been through in the last few months I was happy to see her that way.

Without saying a word I picked up her hands into mine and brought the first up towards my mouth. "I love you," I told her as I gently kissed her palm where she had been burned.

"I love you too," she replied softly and shyly. I knew she didn't like anyone to see her hand but I wanted her to know that there was nothing imperfect about her in my eyes.

I then brought her other hand towards my face, where I smiled at the sight of her engagement ring. I placed a kiss right above where the ring sat perfectly on her finger. "I _really_ do love you, Beautiful…my _fiancé_."

She blushed after hearing those words, but then a huge smile broke across her face as she sat up and cupped my face between her hands and crashed her lips to mine. "I like the sound of that," she whispered against my lips, before we continued to kiss.

"Me too, Baby…me too."

I gently pushed her backwards so I was now lying over top of her. Her legs instinctively wrapped around my waist, drawing me as close to her as possible, as we ground into each other. Bella and I had fooled around a little bit here and there after the fire, but we hadn't made love. I knew she had a lot going on in her head, and had a lot to work through, so I never pushed her. But here, now, I wanted to be with my future wife, to show her just how much I loved her.

"I've missed you," I whispered, as I kissed the spot right under her ear.

"Mmm, me too," she hummed, wrapping her arms tightly around me, as she ran her fingers up and down my back.

Her hands made their last sweep down my back before slipping under my t-shirt, dragging it up as her fingertips scraped gently along my skin. I sat up quickly, pulling my shirt over my head, discarding it somewhere across the room. Before I had a chance to do it, she mimicked me, removing her shirt and tossing it to the floor. I undid the button on her jeans, and then hooked my fingers into the waist, dragging them, and her panties, down slowly as I kissed my way along the skin of her legs.

I glanced up at her. She was resting back on my pillow, her hair cascading around her in gentle waves. She looked…stunning.

I crawled back up towards her, reaching my hands underneath her back to the clasp of her bra.

"As sexy as you look in this bra," I told her as I unclasped it, "I want it off of you _now_. The only thing I want you wearing at this moment, Beautiful, is my engagement ring."

I slid her bra down her arms and tossed it to the floor with the rest of our discarded clothes.

She had her bottom lip between her teeth as she reached out and gripped the waist of my boxer briefs, pulling them down as far as her arms would reach, before she led them down the rest of the way with her feet as I resumed my position on top of her.

I was trying to keep my weight off of her by resting on my forearms, but Bella was having none of that. She wrapped her legs around my waist again, and her arms around my back, and pulled me down to her.

"I love you, Edward," she told me tenderly, as she stared directly into my eyes. "I need you."

I nuzzled my nose against hers, before placing three quick, chaste kisses to her lips. "I love you too," I responded before going in for a deep, passionate kiss. All the stress, anguish, and pain that we had both experienced in the last few months unleashed into that kiss. I could feel all of it slip away and fill back up with something else, something immensely better…peace. I had peace because the woman I love was lying safe in my arms, and she had just agreed to marry me…to spend her life with me…to be my _wife._

She took my tongue into her mouth and caressed hers against it. I felt her hands travel up my back and into my hair, where she tugged gently just like she knew I loved. My lips broke from hers as they traveled to her jaw line, down her neck where I stopped to lick the hollow of her throat. I nipped gently down over her collar bone, then down a little further until I reached her breasts. I cupped them with my hands, bringing my lips over one of her nipples, while my thumb brushed firmly over the other.

I felt Bella's back arch up, pushing her body further towards me. I flicked, sucked and nipped at the sensitive skin, as her grip in my hair tightened.

"Do you like that, Baby? I said as I blew a breath of air over her wet skin, causing her already hard nipple to pebble even further.

"Edward!" she moaned out.

I smiled against her skin as I continued my southern decent. I placed kisses all the way down her ribs and over her belly, until I made it to my destination, where I settled myself down between her legs. I looked up and locked my gaze with Bella as I smiled and placed a kiss right at the apex of her thighs. The point of tonight was not to be wild and kinky. I just wanted to make her feel good, and love her physically the way I did emotionally.

I slowly licked my way between her slick folds before I mimicked my mouth and tongue to French kiss her, the way I would the lips on her face. Her eyes closed and her head fell to the side. She gently played with my hair as I continued to make her feel good.

"Let it go, Baby. Let it all out. I love you, Bella, and right now it is just you and me," I whispered to her as I continued to lick her swollen center.

I massaged her inner thighs, gently parting them further so I could have her completely exposed to me. I dipped my tongue into her opening, before I dragged it up slowly over her clit. I could feel her body tense and I knew she was close, so before I pushed her completely over the edge I stopped what I was doing and made my way back up her body.

I settled myself over her, cupping her cheeks between my hands, while staring straight into her eyes as I pushed myself into her. Her mouth fell open, but emitted no sound. I leaned in and captured her lips between my own, sucking gently on her full bottom lip, and then tongue. I moved slowly in her at first since it had been a while since we had made love. I gave her the chance to become accustomed to me filling her again.

When I felt her nails drag down my back and her hips started to move in time with my thrusts, I started to move with more vigor.

"Edward!" she called out.

"Fuck!" I panted out. "You feel so good baby!"

All of a sudden her hands moved from my back to my chest and she started pushing me. I froze…panicked that something was wrong. But before I had a chance to say anything, she pushed me onto my back and straddled my waist.

"I want to see you better," she said breathlessly.

She slid along my length, which was slick from her arousal, before she reached down and lined me up with her, sinking down with such a slow, torturously delicious pleasure.

She moved slowly for a very short time before she picked up her pace, staring down at me the whole time.

"Have I ever told you how happy you make me?" she asked breathlessly.

I smiled up at her as my hands massaged her thighs. "You tell me every time you smile at me."

I watched with such awe as this beautiful woman rode me towards her own place of ecstasy, graciously allowing me to be a passenger.

My hands reached up and massaged her breasts as they bounced from her movements. One hand then slowly traveled down her body to where we were joined and I stimulated her with my fingers.

She leaned back, resting her hands behind her on my thighs, causing her back to arch and her breasts to jut forward. She was grinding into me hard now, each thrust bringing me closer and closer to the edge. I needed to feel her lips on me so I sat up, catching Bella off guard as our chests pressed together. I brought my hands up to her face and brushed her cheeks with my thumbs. We stared at each other before I leaned in and placed my lips against hers. The moment was so intense. I was filled with physical pleasure as well as emotional fulfillment. I pulled back from our kiss, but stayed close as I rested my forehead against hers.

"Bella, come for me," I whispered.

Her eyes stayed focused on mine as her teeth captured her bottom lip. After moving on me for a few more moments, her arms wrapped around me and she pressed herself tight against my body, and then she stilled. I could feel the contractions of her release around me, which caused me to thrust up a few more times before I followed her over the edge, releasing into her in four long streams.

I buried my face into her neck as we both sat on my bed, wrapped around each other, trying to catch our breaths. Once my breathing got more regular I eased back slowly, bringing Bella down with me. As she lay on top of me, I stroked her back up and down until I settled my palms over her backside, giving it a gentle squeeze, which caused her to giggle.

She turned her head, resting her chin on my chest so she could look up at me.

"That was…amazing," she said. "I almost forgot how good it felt to be with you. Thanks for reminding me," she said softly.

I smiled, "Anytime, Beautiful, anytime."

She rested her check on my chest and we just lay like that for a while, not speaking, just enjoying the moment.

We were both close to falling asleep before Bella's voice broke me out of my daze. "As much as I would love to stay like this for the rest of the night, I think your family might be back soon."

I squeezed her tight before rolling her onto her side so we could face each other. "Yeah, you're right," I responded. "They knew we would need some privacy after the proposal, but they will definitely be back soon so we can all have dinner together."

She smiled and nodded in understanding and then leaned in to place a gentle kiss on my lips before rolling over to get out of bed.

We both cleaned up and got dressed. When we were ready, I took her hand and led her downstairs to the kitchen so we could continue preparing the meal that the girls had started earlier.

I was chopping vegetables when I noticed it was kind of quiet in the kitchen. I looked back over my shoulder to see if she was still in the room, and found Bella staring down at her newly ringed finger with a big smile on her face.

I couldn't help but smile as I set the knife down on the cutting board and turned to face her. When she realized I was watching her she looked up at me and blushed.

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"_Like_ isn't even remotely close to describing how I feel," she said as she walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, looking up at me with the happiest expression I had seen on her in a long time.

But just as quickly as her smile came, it went. She diverted my gaze by looking down, and buried her face into my chest.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.

"This was the reason why you had to work so much over the last few months wasn't it?" she said so softly that I could barely hear. "You were working your butt off in order to buy me this ring and I had to be a bitch about it and make you feel badly. Look at all the trouble I caused the night of our fight. We could have avoided all of that heartache if I had just been more understanding."

"Hey, look at me," I said as I placed my hand under her chin, forcing her to look up at me. "There is no way you could have known, and if I were in your shoes I would have felt the same way. You have to stop blaming yourself, Bella. It is just one of those situations that couldn't have been avoided. I would have never told you why I was working; I wanted the engagement to be a surprise, so I completely understand how you were feeling. I'm sorry. Of course I wish the fire hadn't happened, but it was an accident Bella. You can't go through life saying 'what if' all the time. There are just times when things happen. Thankfully everything was okay in the end, so now all we can do is move forward. You have just agreed to spend the rest of your life with me and I am so happy. So no matter how we got here, or what we had to go through to get here, let's just try and be happy that we are here regardless."

I felt her relax against my body and a truly genuine smile graced her face again. "I love you, Edward, more than anything or anyone. You have brought so much joy to my life, and I will spend the rest of my life making sure that I do the same for you."

I reached up and brushed a piece of her hair over her shoulder. "You already have, Bella…you already have."

**

* * *

**

On our last day in Chicago we had a little time to kill before we had to be at the airport, so when Bella suggested that we go and visit Tanya's grave, I was floored. This woman never ceased to amaze me, and she continued to remind me why I was so lucky to have found her.

We stopped by the florist on the way, where Bella picked out a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Once we made it there we had stood hand in hand by Tanya's headstone as we paid our respects. Bella had then walked away to give me some privacy, and after I spent several minutes alone, I walked down the path towards the entrance where Bella was waiting for me on a bench.

I took her hand and led her out to the car. We stopped by a neighborhood bar & grill that was on the way back towards my parent's house to have lunch. I wanted to make sure she had some food in her stomach before our flight because I knew she would have to take a Xanex before we took off. I might have slept a bit on the flight out here but that didn't mean I wasn't well aware of Bella's anxiety about flying.

I'm no therapist, but I do know a thing or two about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I knew that Bella was dealing with a lot of things emotionally after the fire. As we sat in the pub waiting for our food, I figured now was as good a time as any to talk to her about it.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" she said as her gaze focused back to me from where she had been looking out the window.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," I replied nervously.

I saw her sit up straighter, probably a bit nervous from my tone, but tried to keep her own casual. "What's up, Baby?" she asked.

"There is something I've needed to talk to you about, but I really didn't want to bring it up until I knew that you were up for it."

Her gaze dropped down to the table and she started playing with the edge of the napkin that her silverware rested on. I reached across the table and placed my hand over hers. "It's nothing bad, Bella, I promise. So stop looking like I'm about to break up with you or something. This is _not_ about to be the shortest engagement on record." I laughed and she seemed to relax a bit.

"Sorry," she said as she smiled. "I just need to learn how to relax a little bit after all the events of the past few months."

"Well…that is kind of what I wanted to talk to you about," I said to her gently.

She looked at me curiously. "Ooo-kay," she said with caution.

I ran my fingers through my hair nervously. "Why don't I just start at the beginning," I told her, as she nodded her head in agreement. "Well…before we left Seattle to come here I was called into a meeting with some of the department heads of the fire department," I began.

Bella's eyes snapped up to mine. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, it was nothing bad, but…they want me to see a counselor."

"A counselor?" she asked in response.

I didn't want to bring up the accident right now, but I knew this was something we needed to discuss and there were also things I needed to talk to her about, and since she just agreed to be my wife, there was no time like the present.

I laced my fingers with hers in the middle of the table.

"Well…after a firefighter has a traumatic experience on the job they will often suggest you speak to someone. Coming on the heels of the accident I had with Emmett, then the trauma over your accident, they thought it would help me to speak to someone professional. They also have my records from Chicago and know about…," I hesitated.

"About Tanya," she finished for me before giving me a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, about Tanya," I said as I gave her hands a gentle squeeze. "I agreed to go because I want to be better for you. I want to work out all this stuff because almost losing you really messed with my head. It scared me senseless and I need to work through it all."

She nodded her head in understanding. "I'm proud of you, Edward. I think you are very strong to do something like that."

I gave a small smile, standing slightly as I leaned in across the table, placing a chaste kiss on her lips, before I sat back down.

"But, Bella, there's more I wanted to talk to you about."

She looked back up at me.

"I…I wanted to talk to you about maybe having you go and speak to someone, too. I know you think I didn't notice how you were on the plane because I was sleeping, but I knew how tense you were. I also know how worried you were about things with me when I overheard you that day when you were crying to Rosalie and Alice. It's so common for someone who has been through what you were through to suffer from some sort of Post Traumatic Stress, and I think it would help you immensely if you went to talk to someone. You know I'm always here for you, but sometimes there are things you just can't talk to me about. I also know what it is like to get swallowed up whole in the aftermaths of something traumatic and I don't want that to happen to you. There is no reason that you need to drown in these feelings that I know you are experiencing."

I wasn't sure what to expect, what reaction I would get from her, but I was kind of surprised when she agreed so quickly.

"You're right," she said softly. "I think I probably should have gone to talk to someone a long time ago, you know…right after everything happened with…_Jacob_."

She looked up at me as she whispered his name, probably thinking I would be angry at the sound of his name. I'm not gonna lie, the thought of that guy, and what he did to my girl, still caused my blood to boil, but I was enough of a man to realize that acting like a maniac at the mere mention of his name would not do anything beneficial for Bella. So I just gave her a small smile, letting her know that it was okay to continue with what she was going to say.

"After him I really fell apart. I let myself be consumed with all the hurt, anger and sadness that follow after being betrayed like that. The fire is a much different set of emotions, but I recognize it enough to not allow myself to be so stubborn that I won't admit that I know I need help, and knowing that you are going and getting your own help just makes me feel that much better about agreeing to it myself."

I watched as she rose from her seat in the booth across from me, and walked around the table, sliding in next to me.

"When we walk down the aisle, and I become your wife, Edward, I want to do so knowing that not only have we been through a lot together, but we also fought our way through and came out stronger on the other side. I will do whatever it takes to become better…stronger…for you…_for_ _me_," she whispered the last two words.

I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her into my side, placing a kiss on top of her head. I was so happy to hear that she was willing to go and speak to someone. I knew it was important for both of us to work through our issues on our own so that we could be the best for each other together.

I kissed her head again and smiled. "So…" I started, deciding that I wanted to lighten the mood, "do you have any ideas as far as the wedding goes?"

"Um…no, not really," she said as she rested her head into my chest.

I couldn't help but laugh, which caused her to look up at me in confusion. "What's so funny?" she asked.

I shook my head, "No, nothing…it's just that…well, I know my cousin is a freak of nature when it came to planning her wedding out in full by the time she was eleven, but come on…you have to have some idea of what you want," I said as I nudged her playfully with my shoulder. "Don't all girls have some kind of idea in mind?"

She looked at me for a moment before she started laughing too. "Okay, okay…I have a few ideas in mind," she admitted.

"Mind sharing them with me? I mean, I know the groom is basically just like another guest at the wedding…since the day is all about the bride, but you could at least let me know where I need to show up, and if I need to dress in a tux or dress up like Elvis," I teased.

She laughed and playfully punched me in the arm. "No…no Elvis impersonation necessary. I'm definitely not a _Vegas_ _quicky _kind of gal," she said as her laughter died down.

She turned her body so she was facing me more as we sat in the booth, and I could see her expression become more serious, but still soft. "When I was supposed to marry Jacob we planned this big, over the top thing. Of course it wouldn't even come close to rivaling what Alice is planning, but for the small town of Forks, it was going to be pretty extravagant. But now that I have the opportunity to do this all the right way, with the right guy, I realize that all of that matters little to none for me."

She looked at me seriously, before she brought her hand up to caress my face. "I would like it to be a small, elegant affair, involving just the people closest to us."

I thought about what she said and nodded in agreement. "If I can throw my two cents in, I think we should get married in, or around Seattle."

She looked at me, scrunching her face in confusion. "Really? I always thought you would want to get married here, in Chicago," she said. "I know how much this city means to you, and since I'm not hell bent on getting married in Forks, I just figured we _would_ marry here."

"I _do_ love Chicago, it is where I am from, but the best moments of my life so far have happened in Seattle, because plain and simple it's where I met you."

Bella smiled, sighed and then jutted out her bottom lip, giving me the look as if I had just said the sweetest thing in the world to her. I chuckled a little as I reached up and smoothed the hair around her face.

"We are both from two different places, so I figured it would be best for us to marry where _our_ home is."

She leaned back into me, resting her head on my shoulder, as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder again.

"I think that sounds perfect, Edward…just perfect."

**

* * *

**

"Hey, Edward, come and look at this," Bella called to me from the office.

"I'll be right there," I answered back.

I wrapped the towel around my waist as I stepped out of the shower. It was now mid-November, two weeks until Thanksgiving, and Bella and I were sharing a rare Saturday together where I didn't have to work at all.

I walked out of the bathroom and across the hall into Alice's old bedroom, which we now used as an office. Bella was seated at the desk, on the computer. I walked up behind her and placed my hands on the arms of the chair, on either side of her body, and took a look at what she was looking at.

"What do we have here?" I asked as she looked over her shoulder and smiled when she saw me standing there in just a towel.

"Nice view," she said as she puckered her lips, waiting for a kiss from me. I leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips.

"I aim to please, Beautiful."

She laughed and then turned back to face the screen. "Look at this chapel I found. It's located in Snohomish, which is only about forty minutes outside of Seattle. And look…it's even called _A Chapel on Swan's Tail_…what are the odds? Charlie would get a kick out of that. Isn't it so quaint and beautiful?" she asked as she sighed and leaned her head back against my stomach.

Even if I thought the place was a royal dump, I wouldn't have disagreed with her. Just seeing the smile on her face was enough to win me over. But in reality the place really _was_ perfect. It was one of those white, one roomed, old fashioned looking chapels. The picture online was taken in the winter so there was snow on the ground, and it was surrounded by pine trees. It really did have charm to it. I could totally see myself getting married there.

I spun her chair towards me and helped her up, before I sat down and pulled her back onto my lap. "I think it's perfect," I told her.

"Really?" she said as she turned sideways on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Really," I told her.

"Great! I'll call first thing Monday morning and see what their availability is for next year. Do you have any preference as to what season we get married?" she asked.

"Ummm…not really. Alice and Jasper are getting married in the summer, and getting married before then would be a real crunch, so maybe we could do something in the fall or winter?" I said questioningly.

She looked thoughtfully for a moment before nodding her head. "I think an autumn wedding would be beautiful," she said, as a dreamy smile graced her face.

I couldn't help but smile. Bella wasn't your typical girly-girl in the way that Alice was, but watching her plan our wedding was so sweet. I could tell how happy she was, and that in turn made me really happy. I would marry her at any place from St. Patrick's Cathedral to a drive-thru wedding chapel in Vegas. As long as she was happy, that is all that mattered to me, because seeing Bella happy made everything else alright in my book.

"An autumn wedding sounds perfect to me, Beautiful. Plus we won't have the wrath of Alice if we try to sneak in before hers," I said with a laugh.

Bella laughed. "You're not kidding."

She rested her head on my shoulder as we both stared at the picture on the screen. I kept picturing Bella standing on the steps in her wedding dress, surround by the picturesque fall foliage. I was not ashamed to admit that having my engagement ring on her finger made me feel like I had marked her as my own, but now that we were actually starting to make more solid plans, I couldn't wait to add my wedding band to her finger.

Since we had both agreed to have a smaller wedding, we decided to start a savings account for a new home. Our parents were going to split the cost of the actual wedding, so that allowed Bella and I to put all our extra money into the account. Both of us were eager to start a family right away, so we knew living in our apartment wouldn't be ideal. We were going to stay near Seattle, but we were probably going to look in the suburbs right outside of the city since we felt it would be better for raising kids.

_Kids._ The thought overwhelmed me…but in a good way. If you had asked me a few years ago where I saw my life, I would have been lucky to think that I would be at least casually dating. But now I was engaged, saving to buy my first home, and planning to make babies with the woman I loved.

The road to this point was definitely not easy. Even after all the drama, we still had stuff we needed to work through. When we had returned from our trip to Chicago, I started seeing a therapist that was set up for me through the fire department. My therapist was able to give me names of colleagues he recommended for Bella. She kept to her word and made an appointment and started seeing her own therapist once a week. On occasion she would accompany me to one of my sessions and I would do the same with hers. It really helped us sort out ourselves individually and also as a couple.

Work was going well for me too. I was working regular hours, only picking up overtime if I ran it by Bella first. It wasn't like I was seeking out her permission, but it allowed us both to be on the same page at all times. I knew that she still worried when I walked out the door for work; that was unfortunately just the side effect of being with someone in my profession. But at the advice of my therapist I made sure to call her when I got home from fires…no matter what time. If it was really late I would just call and let her know I was back, that I loved her, and to have a good night, and we would hang up and she would go back to sleep. It might not be the way the other guys worked it with their wives or girlfriends…but it worked for us.

Bella had a lot to do with school, and when she did have free time, when I would be at work, she spent a lot of time with Rosalie. Right before we left Chicago we found out the great news that Emmett and Rosalie were expecting their first baby. We were all thrilled, and obviously the girls were squealing with excitement. Alice and Bella would spend all their free time helping Rosalie set up her nursery, and shopping for exorbitant amounts of baby clothes and toys.

It was around that time that Bella and I had decided to start trying for a baby as soon as we got married. We both wanted more than one child, and seeing the excitement in Bella's eyes when Rosalie announced she was expecting made me know just how wonderful a mother Bella would be.

I was broken from my thoughts when I felt Bella's lips kissing the side of my neck. I rolled my head to the side, allowing her better access. "Mmm…that feels good baby."

Bella hummed against my skin. I shifted slightly and brought my hand up under her chin, where I tilted it upwards so I could capture her lips in mine. I kissed her softly at first but it quickly turned deeper and more urgent. I wrapped one arm around her back, while the other cradled underneath her legs and I stood up.

She pulled back from the kiss at my sudden movement. I walked a few steps before my towel fell to the floor. Bella looked down at the floor over my shoulder and laughed. "Looks like you lost something."

"That's okay," I told her, "I don't need it."

"Oh no?" she questioned playfully. "Where are you taking me?"

"To our room. I think we need to practice for our wedding night."

**

* * *

**

After Bella and I sufficiently wore each other out, we took a nap, enjoying one of our few lazy Saturdays together. I woke up before her but had no desire to get out of bed, so I just lay there with her wrapped in my arms, taking her in. There is something so intimate about watching someone sleep. They are so vulnerable, so unguarded. She was simply the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I played with her hair gently as I started to think about everything I had in my life, and what this amazing woman had given me.

In the past few years I have had very low lows, and very high highs. It still confused me how the pain of losing someone I loved very much ultimately led me to finding someone who fills me so completely that it doesn't even seem real sometimes. I still mourn the loss of Tanya in my life, but I have finally realized that she would want me to be happy, much like I would have wanted her to be, too, if our roles had been reversed. When I finally accepted that fact, I was left knowing how to open my heart again to love.

_Bella_…how do I even begin to describe what Bella has done for me, and what she means to me? She has become like a force of nature in my life…in my heart. Forces of nature are something I am very familiar with in my line of work. I deal with fire on a regular basis, and just like wind and rain, fire is something so complicated. It is something that can burn wildly, causing pain and destruction in its path that is completely out of your control, _but_…it can also be something of great beauty. It's like watching the flame on a candle. The way it sets a mood or ambiance, the way it can make a moment even more special just by the way the light flickers off the skin of the person you love.

We all want that happily ever after life that has no problems, but we are real people, with real lives. Things aren't always going to be perfect, but when you find someone who brings you so much joy that simply having them walk into a room makes you happier than you were just mere minutes before they arrived, it's hard to not have faith that everything happens for a reason.

In moments such as now when I lay and watch her, I think about how I am a better person for simply knowing her, but I am truly _blessed_ knowing that this woman loves me and that she has chosen to spend the rest of her existence with me. We aren't Romeo and Juliet, Elizabeth and Darcy, or even Catherine and Heathcliff. No, we are just Edward and Bella. We may not have a love affair that graces the pages in literature, but I believe ours is a love story in and of its own.

Nature has a way of pairing things up, making it so when you have one thing…you simply must have the other. It's like where there's sky…there's a sun and moon, where there's an ocean...there's water, where there's thunder…there's lightening, where there's Bella there will always be Edward…

And where there's smoke…there's fire.

* * *

**A/N: I am not going to cry and get all sappy yet, since we still have the epilogue to post. Plus like I said above, even once the epi is posted we will add outtakes periodically, so this isn't really goodbye to these two.**

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	30. Epilogue

**A/N: This is it everyone. I'll keep it short here because we have a super long author note at the end. Muah!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns the original, but we own Fireward, and because of that we have some really kick ass readers who totally own **_**us**_**! *Muah***

**

* * *

*EPOV***

I woke up to a soft breeze blowing through the room. The light from the sun streamed in through the sheer curtains that covered the French doors that we had left open all night. I could hear the crashing of the waves outside that combined with everything else, caused a hypnotizing calmness to run through every ounce of my body. I was wrapped in soft sheets _and _my wife. The latter being the better of the two.

Yes, we had finally done it. We made it official and Bella and I got married. It was now the second week of October. Bella and I had gotten married this past weekend and we were now enjoying our honeymoon in St. Lucia. We had debated over several different honeymoon locations, different cities in Europe being some of them, but we knew that would mean tons of sightseeing, and the only sightseeing I wanted to be doing this week was looking at my wife…naked…a lot.

So ultimately we decided to go somewhere that was warm, tropical, and gave us time to just relax and enjoy alone time together. It was now Tuesday morning, and we had arrived here Sunday.

I turned over gently, as to not wake Bella, and I propped my head onto my hand as I watched her sleep. She was lying on her stomach, her head turned facing me, and I took her in. The first thing that caught my eye was her hand that was lying flat against the pillow beside her head. I smiled to myself at the sight of her engagement ring nestled right up against her wedding band. I lifted my own hand to reveal my wedding band as well. Bella and I had picked them out together, so they were a similar style. I looked at her hand again and felt a surge of happiness rush through me. _She was mine…all mine, and no one but me would ever have her again_. Maybe that sounded possessive, but I didn't give a shit. She was _my_ wife and I would make sure no other fucker would ever doubt that.

The word _wife_ still blew my mind. When we were riding in the limo on the way to the church for my wedding, Emmett and Jasper had told me that they were still getting used to the term themselves, which was understanding for Jasper, since him and Alice were only a few months into being married, but Emmett and Rosalie had been married for over a year, and were now parents.

Yes, Rosalie had given birth to a little baby boy. Riley Jasper McCarty was born on the 14th of May, weighing in at eight pounds and six ounces. He really was an adorable baby. He had blonde hair just like Rosalie, but he had Emmett's blue eyes and dimples. Jasper and Alice were the Godparents, which is why they honored Jasper by giving the baby his name as a middle name.

As I lay in bed my mind started to drift back to a few days ago…the day of our wedding.

_Little Riley had even played a role in our wedding day. He was the ring bearer. He was only six months old, so he obviously couldn't walk down the aisle by himself, but he was carried down by his parents, with our rings in a little satchel around his neck. Along with Emmett and Rosalie in our wedding party, we also had Alice and Jasper, my best friend from Chicago, Dave, and the daughter of Bella's father's longtime girlfriend, Leah. _

_When I had pulled up at the little chapel this past Saturday, October 8, 2011, everything looked picturesque. All the surrounding trees had already changed colors and the foliage was filled with oranges, yellows and reds. We all stepped out of the limo where I was ushered in quickly because the driver told us the girls weren't far behind us. _

_When I walked into the church my nerves had started taking over. I wasn't nervous about getting married, but I guess part of me always worried that something would go wrong, seeing that our path to this point had not always gone smoothly. I also wasn't allowed to spend the night with Bella, so I hadn't seen her since our rehearsal dinner yesterday evening, and I really needed to see her. She was the only person who could calm me._

_I walked up the aisle by myself, while the rest of the guys waited outside for the girls to arrive. I smiled at guests as I passed stopping to hug my parents, Charlie's girlfriend Sue, as well as Renee and Phil. I stepped up in front of the altar and wiped the sweat from my brow as anxiety threatened to rip through me. I greeted the priest and then took my place. I only waited a few minutes before the music started to play. _

_First down the aisle was Emmett, Rosalie and Riley. Everyone giggled and ooh'd and ahh'd when they saw Riley in his little man tuxedo. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself at how Emmett had managed to get Riley a tux that matched the rest of ours exactly._

_Rosalie was wearing a long, one-shouldered, satin dress that was a dark red color. I remembered how stressed out Bella was when she and the girls were trying to decide on dresses and colors, and all that other crap that guys have no clue about, but against the backdrop of the foliage that I could see through the chapel windows, I knew that the girls did a great job in selecting for an Autumn wedding._

_Next down the aisle was Dave and Leah, and then Jasper and Alice. When Alice got to the front she walked over to me quickly and hugged me. I squeezed her tightly as I heard her whisper in my ear. "Wait until you see her, she's gonna take your breath away."_

"_She always does," I responded before she pulled back and smiled, wiping a tear from her eye._

_As soon as Alice was in line on the other side of the altar with the other girls, the music stopped and everyone stood up and faced towards the back of the chapel. The music started again and the back doors were pulled open…revealing to me for the very first time my bride. _

_Alice had been right. The breath had been knocked right out of me, and as soon as our eyes met my anxiety and nerves had disappeared. I immediately felt a calm peace spread through me, but that did nothing to stop the moisture that pooled in the corners of my eyes._

_There were very few things in my life that had led me to cry, but I wasn't ashamed to admit that the sight of Bella walking down the aisle on the arm of her father was one that brought _this_ grown man to lose some of his macho self-control. Her dress looked stunning on her. It was a strapless, satin dress with a full skirt and some type of sparkle detail around the waist. I'm not good with naming colors like girls are, but I guess I would say her dress had a hint of a champagne color to it, rather than a stark white shade. As she made her way down the aisle towards me, neither of us ever taking our eyes off of the other, I could see her eyes were wet as well, but through her tears she gave me the most beautiful smile…one I was sure I would never forget, even years from now when I was an old man sitting on a porch somewhere with her._

_When she finally made her way to the front, she hugged her father before turning to link her arm through mine. We both stepped forward towards the priest, Bella handed her flowers to Alice, and as soon as she turned towards me we both reached up instinctively at the same time and wiped each other's tears away. _

_The automatic pull we had to immediately comfort each other made us both laugh, and right before I dropped my hands from her face, I cupped her cheek and said, "You're stunning." _

_She smiled and gave me a little hint of that blush that I loved so much on her, before whispering back, "You are too."_

_The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch and we joined our guests for an intimate reception following at a local hotel banquet hall. At around midnight, when it was time for us to leave the reception, we were both surprised to see that the guys I worked with had brought over one of the fire trucks. They had the back decorated with streamers and balloons, and even a 'Just Married' sign on the back. I carefully helped Bella on, and with the lights and sirens all blaring, we drove off into the night, waving goodbye to all our guests. _

I brought myself back to the here and now, lying in St. Lucia with my _wife _at my side.

The sheet was pulled up only to her waist, her back bare as her hair cascaded out over her pillow. I felt drawn to reach my hand out and caress the skin on her back so I could wake her up and devour her, but I restrained myself because it was still early and we'd had a long couple of nights…_if you catch my drift_…so I wanted to let her sleep.

My good intentions didn't help my hardening erection when she rolled over onto her back, allowing me a pretty fucking delectable view of her tits. I swear to god my mouth started to water and I may have even growled. _What the fuck kind of human being growls? _Well, apparently I did. But in an effort to let her rest I decided that the only thing I could do to help this _situation_ would be to get out of bed and go for a swim.

I slid out of bed quietly and walked over to the dresser, pulling out my swim trunks and putting them on. I walked across the room and out the doors onto our patio that was set right on the beach. We had our own little pool, but I bypassed it, opting for the ocean instead. It was about eight o'clock in the morning but it was already pretty hot outside. I reveled in the way the white sand felt in between my toes, and as I made my way out into the clear turquoise water, I thanked anything out there that would listen, for my beautiful girl who was sleeping peacefully inside.

**

* * *

**

***BPOV***

My mind slowly started to creep towards consciousness. My senses were immediately assaulted with the crisp smell of ocean air, and the breeze across my skin felt glorious. Before I opened my eyes I reached my arm out to find the warm body, the _only_ body, I ever wanted to wake to; when I felt nothing my eyes snapped open immediately to find that I was alone.

_Well this is not how I wanted to wake up on my honeymoon._

I sat up and looked around the room. "Edward?" I called out. Nothing.

The wind blew, causing the sheer curtains to billow inwards toward the center of the room. I scooted myself off the bed, pulling the sheet off with me so I could wrap it around myself. I walked over to the door and looked outside. Immediately a smile spread across my face as I saw my husband…_I know! It's blowing my mind to refer to him as that…_diving into the waves. In between each wave he would stand still, the water only up to his waist, with his back to me. I watched in awe as the sun glistened off the drops of water clinging to his torso. Each muscle in his well toned back and arms would ripple as he dove into the next wave.

Without another thought I dropped the sheet and ran over to the dresser, pulling out one of my bikinis so I could join him. After I was dressed I made my way outside and onto the beach. I was half way to the water when he turned his head, looking back over his shoulder, and saw me. I could only see half of his face, but the dangerously hot smile he flashed me sent chills through my overheated body. He slowly turned around so he was facing me now, still waist deep in the surf.

"Hey sexy," he said as he opened his arms to me.

"How come you didn't wake me?" I asked, as I jutted out my bottom lip with over-exaggerated poutiness.

"I wanted to let you sleep in a little bit," he said as I finally made it to where he was and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me flush against him.

"Well…for as long as we are here…if you are awake, I want to be awake. Okay? Deal?"

Edward laughed. "Okay, deal," he said before leaning down and kissing me. What started out as just a 'good morning kiss' quickly turned steamy. Edward led me a little further out while we were still kissing, so that the water was now to the middle of my back. His hands immediately slid down my back, over the swell of my ass, where he palmed me and gave me a squeeze. He then brought his hands back up a bit and slid them into my bikini bottoms, squeezing my ass again.

"Edward!" I yelped into his mouth. I pulled away slightly and looked back over my shoulder. "Someone could see us." The resort we were staying at was fairly private, but there were other villas along the beach where ours was, so it wasn't uncommon to see another couple lounging about fifty yards away, or walking hand in hand for a stroll down the beach.

He laughed, keeping his hands where they were but pulling me in closer to him. "Don't worry, I'm not going to fuck you here…_yet_," he said as he leaned in and whispered into my ear. "I've just been dying to touch you since I woke up, and now that you are awake…I just can't keep my hands off you."

I smiled and pulled his face back down to mine so I could continue to kiss him. He rubbed my butt for a bit before I felt his hands start to move around to my front. I wasn't sure what he was planning on doing with those hands, but when I felt his fingers tracing over the skin right between my hip and pelvis bones, I knew what he was doing.

"You _really_ like it?" I asked him as I pulled away so I could look at him.

"Are you kidding me, Bella? I fucking love it!" He said as he leaned back and pulled the material of my bikini bottoms to the side so he could take a look.

_A few months back I had been racking my brain over what I should get Edward as a wedding gift. Everyone was giving me suggestions of jewelry and such, but Edward wasn't a big jewelry wearer. Plus I was giving him a wedding band…that was the only piece of jewelry I needed to see him wear. So about a month before our wedding I was out shopping with Alice when we passed a tattoo shop. I never had any desire to get a tattoo. I wasn't the type to get one _just_ to get one, it would have to mean something to me if I did, but as soon as I saw the shop it hit me. I knew what I wanted to do for Edward's wedding gift from me._

_I went inside and talked to the guy, telling him what I wanted. He said he would draw something up and that I should come back the next day and he would do it. The following day Alice and I went back and I got it. It was small, something that could only be seen if I were naked…something only for Edward. It was his initials, but the lettering and coloring was done in a way that it looked like flames._

_I had no idea how I was going to keep it a secret from him until our wedding night, so Alice came up with the idea that I would tell him I wanted to wait to have sex again until our wedding night. Well…to say that Edward was not happy about that little bomb I dropped on him that night would be putting it mildly, but he was still respectful and didn't push. The harder part was making sure he didn't see me naked since he had the habit of popping into the shower with me, or even just looking in to it when we were talking and I was in the shower alone, but when I told him that I wanted to wait and have sex, he avoided seeing me naked like the plague, and although it me laugh, it also saved me from cluing him into the fact that I was hiding something._

_So on our wedding night, when he finally stripped me out of my wedding dress, I stood in front of him in my lingerie and told him I had a surprise for him, and that it was the real reason why I had wanted to wait to have sex. He had cocked his head to the side, looking at me questioningly, before I told him to undress me if he wanted to unwrap his gift. After he had everything off me except my panties, and I was lying in the middle of the bed at the hotel suite we were staying in for the night, he hooked his fingers in my panties, pulling them down slowly, and when my tattoo was revealed to him he froze. _

_At first I was scared that he didn't like it because he just stared at it silently for a moment. He finally reached out and gently traced the letters with the tip of his finger._

"_Bella…" he whispered._

"_Do you like it?" I stuttered out nervously._

_He stilled before his eyes slowly looked up and met mine. Without taking his eyes off of me he poked his tongue out between his luscious lips and traced the letters of my tattoo with the tip, ending with a kiss right over it. "I fucking love it, Baby," he said before that tongue of his continued on, and did wonders on other parts of my body that night._

"I'm glad you like it. I got it just for you," I told him as the water splashed around us.

"Damn straight, woman! With the placement of it, no one else better ever see it but me," he said with a teasing tone. Well…sort of teasing.

"Are you excited about going house hunting when we get back?" he asked.

"Yes! I'm so excited," I told him as I wound my arms around his neck, squinting as I looked up at him since the sun was directly behind him.

Edward and I had been saving our money over the last year and finally had enough saved up to be able to put a down payment down on a home. We met with a realtor a few weeks ago and were going to meet with her as soon as we got back to Seattle to start looking at different houses. We wanted to stay very close to the city since we both worked in Seattle, but we decided to move to the suburbs since we wanted to start trying for a family right away, and a yard where children could play was a top priority. Rosalie and Emmett had actually sold Rose's condo after Riley was born and had just bought a house in the suburbs too, so we were going to look somewhere near them since we really liked the area.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by my hot ass boyfr…I mean _husband_ when he started kissing my neck. He bent down slightly, putting his hands back on my ass, and lifted me up. I squealed as I wrapped my legs around his waist and he started to walk us out of the water and back towards the villa.

"Come on Mrs. Cullen. Since we are going to look for a house in the 'burbs next week, let's go start trying to make some babies to fill it up with."

**

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**

July 21, 2013 started out like any other Sunday with a lazy morning resting in bed, usually with the most adoring, handsome as hell husband ever. Whenever Edward didn't have to work on a Sunday, it was our little ritual to spend most of the day lounging around, wrapped up in one another either watching movies or making love, sometimes both. We would turn off our cell phones and set the house phone answering machine to pick up after one ring, to make sure we wouldn't be disturbed. However, Edward did always leave his pager on so he could hear all the fire calls dispatched in case he had to make an appearance at the firehouse or if they needed him to come in. After being married for almost two years, our appetite for one another was still insatiable. Unfortunately, Edward was still working an overnight shift, so I was resting in bed trying to be patient waiting for his return home.

A lot had happened since we were married. After we had returned from our incredible honeymoon in St. Lucia, we met with our realtor, who showed us about a dozen houses in the price range we were looking for. They all turned out to be a bust and two of the houses were in questionable neighborhoods where the schools weren't as highly rated as I would have liked. Since I was an employee of the Seattle Public School System, I was privy to all kinds of information and write ups about each and every school in the area. Jasper and I were fortunate enough to have been working in a great district where our elementary school was consistently ranked as one of the top five schools in the Seattle area, earning the title of a 'Blue Ribbon' school. It was only natural for me to want my husband and me to live in an area of Seattle where the schools were more than subpar if we planned on raising our children here.

Since we wanted to live close to our friends, we had decided to wait and hold out for a house that spoke to us, instead of jumping into buying something our hearts felt like we were settling on. We knew a house would come someday and since we had a beautiful apartment anyway, we weren't too upset that one just didn't pop up on our radar right away. Well, that was until about a month later when we were shown the most quaint, Victorian style home just two blocks away from Alice and Jasper…four from Rosalie and Emmett. I say quaint because it was so deceiving from the outside, but the inside was a different story altogether. It was an old home, but the people who lived here before had done some pretty impressive renovations, including a finished basement complete with a built in bar and built into the wall was the biggest projection screen television I had ever seen.

That basement was love at first sight for Edward, and it was hysterical how he tried to remain calm and composed while walking through the rest of the house. That's when Edward had to continually squeeze my hand to remind me to reign in my excitement. Between the Viking stove in the kitchen, the four bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, and a small library room in which I could totally see myself getting lost in a book while lounged in a plushy, oversized chair, my face was unable to break the smile that had permanently seared across my face.

The homeowners, whose children had long since moved away, wanted to retire somewhere warm, so they were making a cross country move to South Carolina. Wanting a quick sale, they were extremely eager to get to the place they had built along the water. They took one look at Edward and me and were convinced that their old home would be in caring, new hands. Since the owners didn't want for money, our first offer was accepted, which Edward and I were over the moon about, considering it was about twenty-five thousand less than the asking price. A risk, we knew, but our realtor advised us to come in under their asking price since they seemed in a rush to get out of Seattle. In the end, it worked and the house was ours after a quick closing.

Luckily, the Super in our building had found a few newly graduated college girls to lease our place. They were very reminiscent of Alice, Rose, and I, which made my heart clench with such wonderful memories, I almost didn't want to part with the place. How could this apartment _not_ hold a special spot in my heart? It's where I suffered my first horrific heartbreak, it's where I picked up the shattered pieces of my life and trudged on with the support of my friends, it's where I had regained my strength and faith in myself and toughened me up a bit, and it's where I found my life, my soul…my Edward.

Now that we had found our house, we needed to make it a home for the family we wanted to create.

Family. _Our _children.

I desperately wanted to hear the pitter pattering of feet along the hardwood floors, so we kicked the baby making mode into high gear. Though we were blessed with finding our dream house so quickly, we weren't so fortunate with getting pregnant in a timely manner. Then again, nothing always came easy for Edward and me; our relationship was proof of that. Good things come to those who wait, right?

We had what you would call a 'Honeymoon baby.' A month after we got back from St. Lucia, I never got my period. I had always been on a regular cycle since I had first gotten my period at age thirteen, so when I was a week late, I took a pregnancy test to confirm my suspicion. To say that Edward was elated was a gross understatement. I didn't keep taking the test from him and for the five minutes we were waiting for the test results to appear, he was professing his love for me and our future children, promising he would be the ideal father complete with coaching the tee ball or soccer team for them and all.

When a bright pink plus sign glared at us like a big neon sign, no one could remove the joyous looks cemented to our faces. The next day after we found out I was carrying a baby, Edward had gone out to the local baby clothing store and proceeded to buy the most adorable baseball outfit. Of course it was a little baby boy's outfit, but he assured me that his little girl could wear it, too. He was so sweet and so excited to be a father that it just plain melted my heart. We were so happy.

Then we had gotten our house so quickly and we took that as a sign that the house was meant for us. Well, the house was meant for us to buy, but the baby was not meant to exist. How could something so exciting and life changing like buying your first home coupled with having your first baby turn into such a gut wrenchingly heartbreaking experience?

A miscarriage.

Sadly, I suffered a miscarriage the December after we were married. I was teaching at the time and I had been in the middle of teaching a lesson when I was experiencing these really painful cramps, which right away I knew it wasn't a very good sign. When I was able to get coverage for my class so I could go to the bathroom, that was when I found that I was bleeding a little too much for my liking. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I was in so much freaking pain that I actually cried out in agony, falling to the floor in panting breaths. Luckily Angela was on a prep period and had walked into the bathroom when she did because I was going to pass out from the pain…and seeing the tiny blood stains on my underwear.

Not a day goes by where I don't think of my baby that could have lived to term, who could have fallen asleep in my arms or Edward's arms, who could have been that baseball player my husband so desperately wanted. I had felt like such a failure and a disappointment the moment Edward's face drained from all color and how hollow it looked when the doctor was telling him the news after he arrived at the hospital. I was crying hysterically. I couldn't even tell him that we had lost our baby.

It wasn't easy trying to forget what could have been, but the doctor assured me that nothing was technically wrong with me, but that the fetus didn't properly attach itself to my uterus. Disheartened to say the least, it was actually worse hearing that I was a healthy woman gynecologically and that 'these things do sometimes happen.' Needless to say, I was depressed and even more so when we were advised to not try again for another baby for months, that we should practice _safe sex_ for a while. Safe sex? I scoffed at that considering I didn't think Edward _ever_ wore a condom since we had been sexually active, since I had been on the pill.

I had definitely spent numerous hours in therapy trying to work through the heartache and pain I felt. After our discussion in Chicago, after he had proposed to me, I had found an excellent psychologist and started my therapy right away and I still saw my therapist once a month instead of weekly, which is how I started out. Between being literally abandoned by Jake suddenly, my mother not being around so much in times when I needed her most, feeling second best against Tanya's ghost, and the accidents Edward and I had suffered, I had a slew of issues to overcome. Thankfully, my therapist Siobhan, clicked with me right from the start as I found talking with her so effortless and actually really enlightening. I never realized just how many things I had swallowed down and buried deep with my sub-conscious that I never fully processed anything that had happened to me. Rather, I shoved it away in the back of my head, causing whatever residual anger, sadness, or fear I felt to come through in various ways like, snapping for no reason or opting to take the stairs instead of an elevator. Siobhan's third party insight was just the outside perspective I needed and she definitely gave it to me straight whenever she thought I was able to emotionally let something go.

A month later at one of our Saturday night dinners with our friends, Alice and Jasper announced that they were expecting a baby and they were due in early October. I remembered having to make sure that I was smiling at all times that night because I knew that all eyes were on Edward and me once they shared their wonderful news. I was happy for Alice and Jasper, I truly was, but I couldn't help but think about our baby that could have been best friends with Alice's baby since they would have been so close in age. Edward and I didn't say much after we arrived home that night, but once we had climbed into bed, with my back facing him, I just started to sob uncontrollably. I'll never forget how comforting Edward was…how he immediately pulled me against him, wrapped his strong arms around me, and stroked my hair while whispering words filled with love and encouragement.

"_Shh, please don't cry, Baby. There's a reason why this is happening to us, I know it. Soon, my love. Soon, it will be our time to have a baby and it's going to be amazing. You are so strong, Bella. I promise it'll be alright; we just have to have a little patience and a little faith,"_ Edward had said to me. He was so incredibly strong for the both of us that night. I knew their news was killing him inside, too, but he was masking it the way most men do, swallowing his pain down deep, to tend to my emotional needs. How I got to be so lucky to have ended up with him, I'd never know.

Edward's words paid off because on our first anniversary, I ended up giving him the ultimate gift…a second chance.

Once we began to actively try for a baby again, I was hesitant to take a test when I was a week late, so I waited another week…then another. Finally, on the day of our one year anniversary, I decided to take a home pregnancy test…alone this time. When the test read that I was indeed pregnant, I wasn't sure how to react. My first instinct was to run into the street screaming 'Hallelujah!' but I knew that wouldn't be too appropriate. So, I simply looked at my reflection in the mirror as a contented smile slowly spread across my face.

I'll never forget Edward's reaction when I told him that he was going to be a father.

_I had prepared a wonderful home cooked meal. Instead of setting things up in the kitchen, where we normally ate, I opted to create a romantic scene in our dining room, complete with candles and our fine bone china, which was a gift from Esme for my wedding shower. I even had a special bottle of something chilling in the ice bucket near my place setting. When Edward burst through the front door holding a bottle of champagne and a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers, I practically mauled him before he could even set down the items in his hands. _

_With my heart ready to leap out of my chest, my pulse thumping from just about every pressure point, I led him to his seat and proceeded to serve him dinner. He wanted to toast to our first married year, so Edward popped open the champagne and poured us each a glass. We raised our glasses and he gave the most tearfully heartfelt toast to which we clinked our glasses. While he took a hearty sip, I gently set my champagne flute down, hoping he would notice my move, and he did._

"_What's the matter, Baby? Do you not like this brand of champagne? I know we normally don't drink this stuff but I figured since it was a special occasion, so why not?" he stated, a little hurt pout donned his features._

"_I can't drink this, Edward," I said quietly, biting the inside of my cheek so as not to smile gleefully at him._

"_But this is the same stuff from St. Lucia," he protested softly, turning the front of the bottle my way so I could inspect the label. "See. You loved this brand, Babe."_

"_I know that, but I still can't drink it, Honey. It was very thoughtful of you and I love you even more for getting the same brand and all, but I actually picked out something that I think you are going to love to try." I shot him a quick wink and with my mouth forming into a sly smirk. I turned slightly and grabbed the bottle and the two wine glasses I had sitting off to the side of the table. Getting up slowly and gliding over to where my adorably clueless husband was, I began to pour the mystery drink in both wine glasses and handed him one and remained standing before him._

_Leaning over the table, Edward reached for the bottle in question to peer at the label._

"_Sparkling apple cider, Bella?" He said questioningly. God, he was so cute._

_I took a sip of the cider and sat down on his lap. "Yes, my adorable husband, sparkling apple cider. I mean, what kind of mother would I be if I was allowing our child to drink any type of alcohol at such an early age?" I questioned slyly, taking another sip, allowing my words to sink in his head. Our eyes never left one another's gaze._

"_I don't understand. That would mean…Bella?" Edward's face was so hopeful with his gorgeous green eyes popping out. I wished I had videotaped this moment to watch over and over again._

"_Yes, Edward?" _

"_Baby, are you…are we going to have…a baby?" He practically whispered as though he couldn't believe he was actually uttering those words from his lips._

_I nodded, giving him a big, toothy smile. "Yes! I'm pregnant, Edward. You're going to be a daddy."_

"_Holy shit! I'm going to be a father? God, I love you so fucking much, Bella!" Edward shouted, taking my glass from me and setting both of ours down on the table so he could envelop me in a tight embrace. _

_I nuzzled my face in the crook of his neck, giving him little wet kisses along the side of his throat. Edward took my face between the palms of his hands and raised it tenderly, capturing my eyes with his own. The moment I saw his sea green eyes twinkle with tears, I immediately became so overcome with emotion that a small sob crept up my throat. He swiped at the tears that were falling on my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs softly as he spoke to me._

"_Baby, I couldn't love you even more than I do right at this very moment. You are my life, my everything…and now…well, now I get to tell our child just how fucking amazing you are. He or she will get to see how beautiful you are and feel the love and warmth you fill me with each day. That is my baby in there, right?" he joked, nudging my belly with his forefinger._

"_Edward! Of course it is!" I laughed, slapping his shoulder playfully. "Goofball!"_

_He shifted his legs and let go of me, a sign for me to get up. I was just about to turn and start clearing the table when he planted his hands on either side of my waist and twisted me so that my stomach was right in front of him. He slipped his fingers right under the hem of my shirt, caressing the sliver of skin below my belly button. Immediately, my fingers gently raked through his hair, encouraging him to continue his soft stokes along my flat belly. Then, in a move that made my heart swell three sizes larger I thought it was going to burst from my ribcage, Edward scooted to the edge of his chair, lifted my shirt to expose my belly and brushed his lips back and forth from hipbone to hipbone._

"_Hi, my baby," he began. "This is your daddy talking to you. I can't wait to meet you and hold you in my arms. You're in a very good body, so please stay there in your mommy and make yourself at home. Your mommy is a very special woman and it's gonna take some getting used to sharing her, but I'll be more than happy to share her with you. So, please try to take it easy on your mommy and not have her get too sick. I already love you so fucking much; my heart actually hurts right now."_

"_Language, Babe," I sniffled, giggling that he was having a conversation with our child._

"_Oh, sorry, Baby," he relented, beaming at me before focusing his attention back to my belly._

"_Now, I want you to be aware that I curse…a lot, and I will try to tone it down for you. But if you ever hear those words from my mouth, you are not to repeat them, okay? So, just please stay with us, baby Cullen. It would make your mommy and daddy so happy if you grow and develop so you can be born and we can spoil you. I love you very much and we'll talk soon, okay?" Edward finished by placing another kiss in the center of my stomach before lowering my shirt down to its original position._

_Later that night while we were snuggling in bed, Edward had mentioned that he wanted me to quit my job and not work now that we were starting a family. It had always been his dream for his wife to not have to work once kids started to enter the picture._

"_Edward, I can't quit just yet. I went through too much schooling to just up and leave because I'm pregnant. The baby's not even here yet for goodness sake."_

"_I'm scared, Beautiful. I don't want to lose another child, and I just want for you to be able to take it easy and sleep the whole day in bed if you felt like it, rather than rush off to work."_

"_I'm scared, too. Believe me, there's nothing I would love more than to stop working, but I want to wait until this baby is born so we can save as much money as we can. I don't want you to have to constantly work overtime throughout this pregnancy. I want you to be there for me, with me while our baby grows inside me."_

_He sighed, his lips grazing my forehead. "Alright. But Bella, please promise me you'll quit working once you feel like it's taking a toll on you emotionally and physically. Stress isn't good for our baby or you…and if anything were to ever happen to you or this baby, I don't know what I would do." Edward wrapped his arms around me and crashed his lips to mine._

"_I promise I will, Babe. You have my word," I breathed against his lips. "Now make love to me already," I commanded, hooking my leg around his waist and pulling him so he would climb on top of me._

"_With pleasure," he growled playfully._

**

* * *

**

I was lying on my side facing the windows, a pillow resting between my legs and one under my huge, bulbous belly to support our child, since that was the only position comfortable for me as of late, when I heard the door creak open. A smirk graced my features as I felt his presence sidle up next to me in the bed, but I didn't let on that I was actually awake. Wrapping his deliciously muscular arms around my ever growing form, Edward splayed his hands across the span of my stomach that had been exposed due to my tank top riding up.

His fingers were dancing along my tight skin as he hummed in delight while caressing his lips against my shoulder, leaving a trail of hot desire. My appetite for him had grown with each month I was pregnant and Edward definitely felt like the luckiest guy on the planet whose pregnant wife allowed sex throughout the pregnancy. Poor Emmett and Jasper had suffered the same fate when Rosalie and Alice had cut them off sexually around month six, claiming discomfort, especially Alice considering she was carrying twins. As for myself, I wanted Edward whenever and however. God graced me with a fairly easy pregnancy and thankfully there were no complications with me or the baby. Sadly, about five weeks ago, Edward had suggested that we should not have sex again until the baby was due. As much as I objected, Edward had this crazy vision of our child being emotionally scarred if he or she were to ever feel us being intimate.

How silly, right? _Men_.

Of course, my insecurities kicked into high gear, as the thoughts of me being too fat and unattractive for Edward's liking seeped into my conscious. He assured me that my body and what I looked like wasn't the issue, but how could I not feel so disgusting when my husband had suddenly withdrawn from me physically? Hence the reason why the slightest touch from Edward sent tingles right to the epicenter of my lust and want, making it throb in appreciation.

"Hey Beautiful, I'm home," he breathed his rich, velvety voice in my ear before licking the shell and sucking on my earlobe.

"Mmm…I'm glad you're home, Babe," I answered, shifting against him so my back was flush against him. I may have rubbed my ass into his groin, which I immediately found was hard.

"Tease," he muttered, holding me so I wouldn't move an inch.

"Oh stop. You love it," I smiled, hoping that my little wiggles were weakening his resolve. I knew mine had already left a month ago.

"Bella, I do love it, but it's a little difficult trying to concentrate on you and your comfort when your ass cheeks are strategically placed up against my dick, rubbing it the way you are. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were purposely doing it to rile me up…what with you wearing next to nothing. Do these even qualify as underwear?" He laughed lightly. I could tell his control was weakening considerably the way he grabbed at my silk panties, a couple of his fingers sneaking under the side elastic and tracing feather light circles on the lower part of my ass.

_Ah…just a little lower, Edward. _

"I'm not gonna wear those awful maternity panties. I want to still feel sexy. Plus, it's hot as hell outside, and even though the air conditioning is on, I'm still getting heat flashes," I huffed, trying to wiggle in hopes his fingers would somehow slip lower to where I was aching for him the most. My clit pulsed in agreement.

"You _are_ sexy."

"No, I'm not. I'm huge."

"Huge? Please, Bella. No one can even tell you're pregnant looking from the back of you. It's only when you turn to your side and someone sees our kid sticking out that they realize you are carrying a baby."

"My ass is the size of Texas, Edward."

"No it's not. Stop being so silly."

"Yeah? You wanna see it?" I asked, batting my eyelashes and peering over my shoulder to gauge his reaction.

_Loud sigh…check. Fingers pinching the bridge of his nose…check. Eyebrows creased together in frustration…check. Hopefully just a few more minutes until his control is obliterated._

"Ugh, Baby, don't tempt me," he sighed, pressing his forehead against mine.

I couldn't take this no sex rule anymore. I was tense, frustrated, and nine months fucking pregnant…just a couple of weeks away from giving birth. I wanted Edward. I needed to feel Edward inside me…I needed a god damned release!

"Edward, am I too unattractive to you now?" I blurted out honestly with a hint of annoyance, twisting my upper body a little more in his direction so I could face him somewhat. I just needed to know once in for all because it had been bothering the ever living crap out of me.

"What? Of course I'm attracted to you, you silly, oversensitive girl. Bella, you're carrying _my_ child and very beautifully at that. In fact, I find you sexier now more than ever." He accentuated his point by trailing his hand down the length of my body, causing me to shiver. Edward then proceeded to lean his head down to devour my mouth to which I instantly reciprocated by opening my mouth, pulling his tongue in to dance with mine.

* * *

***EPOV***

Once she moaned into my mouth and started to shift the rest of her body to face me, I had to pull away. Bella's face was hot and flushed and her eyes were the color of the darkest chocolate. My wife looked at me as though I was something to eat and it was sexy as fuck.

_I bet her sweet pussy is soaking wet. Maybe just one little touch…fuck! Who the hell am I kidding? One touch is all it's going to take before absolutely ravish this beautiful creature and plow right into her._

"Bella," I started in panting breaths, "we shouldn't."

Not being able to look her in the eyes fully as her face was wilting with disappointment; I plopped onto my back and stared up at the ceiling trying to ease my heart rate back to a suitable level that wouldn't give me a heart attack.

"Why not?" she asked softly, the hurt evident in her voice. She retreated back to her original position facing the windows.

Letting out a deep breath and rolling over to cradle her from behind, I started to explain. "Because I'm so afraid of hurting you or our baby….or both. I want you so fucking badly, Bella, I ache for you. I don't think I could control myself and not feast on you like a damn buffet. I won't risk causing you or our child any discomfort. I'm sorry, baby. I don't want you to take what I am saying to mean that I think you are unappealing to me. You will always be so beautiful in my eyes."

My gorgeous wife tilted her head over her shoulder in my direction, the smoldering fiery look in her eyes a mere flicker now, as she flashed me a small smile. I felt like such an asshole because I knew she was hurt and disappointed, but she was trying to hide it.

"Thanks," was all she offered before she turned away.

"Hey," I kissed her shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Edward," she stated quietly into her pillow. "I'm just gonna take a nap before we have to get dressed and go to Alice and Jasper's block party."

"Shit, that's right. I forgot that we had to go to that. Are you sure you don't just wanna stay home?" I asked, massaging her shoulder.

"Edward, don't even start with that. We promised our friends we would be there. Plus, I would like to spend time with Riley, Peter, and Charlotte before I can't give them my full attention for a while. I miss them. Besides, I think it would do me some good to get out of the house," she responded with a little bite to her attitude. Fuck, she was really pissed that I turned her down for sex.

"Okay, Baby, we'll go. It was just a quick thought. I'm going to go get something to drink. You want anything?" I was trying to keep the peace.

"Nope. I'm good." Her voice was so short and clipped and she didn't even turn to look at me.

"Alright, I'll just let you rest then," I conceded, getting up from the bed and heading towards the door.

"Sounds super," she mumbled.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_ I berated myself internally while taking a swig of orange juice. I shook my head at my sheer stupidity.

Why did I ever think _not_ having sex towards the end of Bella's pregnancy was a good thing…a safe thing to do? I was just as wound up as she was. This wasn't doing us any good by not being intimate at all. I should be reassuring that sexy woman upstairs that she looked beautiful…for Christ's sake she fucking does! Ugh, I was a stupid, stupid man who did nothing but fuck this up even more. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt my Bella.

_Then make it right, asshole. Go upstairs and show her that you love her and think she's sexy as fuck. _Damn, even my sub-conscious hated me…and I deserved it. Nothing would happen to her or the baby; that shit was all in my head. I guess I was the typical guy thinking that if I had sex with my pregnant wife now, the head of my dick would be poking my child's skull.

_You're an idiot._

Yes, I was a straight up, number one dickhead who needed to make things right. With new resolve, I slammed down the rest of my drink and made my way back upstairs. I opened the door quietly and stepped in the room, taking off the sport shorts and boxers I had on. I peeled out of my t-shirt and slipped back into bed, easing my way over to Bella so I wouldn't startle her. She was so fucking beautiful that my whole body burned for her…and always would. I wrapped my arms around her and started to massage her belly, our child nudging a little in response.

Lifting my hand, I swiped the hair away from her neck and pushed it over her other shoulder, allowing me access to nibble and lick on that sweet spot below her ear. Bella sighed and melted into me, but she wasn't wiggling her luscious ass like she usually did to goad me. I needed to step up my game.

"Mmm…that feels good, babe," Bella breathed, raking her fingers over my forearm.

I loved the slightest of touches from this woman. My cock was already hard as fuck and standing at attention against her lower back. She had to have felt it.

"Oh yeah? I'm glad, but do you know what would feel even better?" I whispered huskily into her ear while smirking. "Me being inside you."

I could have sworn Bella stopped breathing for a few seconds before she started speaking.

"Wh…What? But I thought that…" she stuttered, trying to turn to face me. However, I stopped her from moving, tightening my arms around her.

"No. Don't turn around. I'm so sorry for before, Beautiful. I'll never stop wanting you and I love you so fucking much that I want to show you just how much. Just relax and enjoy." I licked my way up the side of the neck and took her earlobe right in my ear and bit on it playfully, earning a giggle from Bella.

_Ah…there's my girl._

"Well thank the dear lord you finally came to your damn senses…you ass," she laughed as she playfully wiggled that cute ass right on my cock, that was ready to fall off if it didn't get inside my wife already.

I started teasing her with my fingers, making them travel from her shoulders down to her knees and back. I did this a few times to loosen her up and help her relax. With each new journey, Bella would moan and writhe as my hand would creep closer to where I knew she wanted me the most and up around her breasts, barely grazing her nipples.

My wife was so full of want and need, that she couldn't take it anymore. She laced her fingers with mine and slowly dragged them towards her heat. Our breaths hitched together as we found our way to her slick core. I wasted no time in taking over and gliding our fingers between her folds.

"Sweet Jesus, Baby, you are so fucking wet. I love how wet I make you." I said, making slow, torturous circles around her clit.

"Only you can do this to me. I love you so much," Bella whimpered as she reached around and took hold of my cock and started to tug at it, twisting her hand in the most pleasurable of ways.

"Fuck," I panted. "Baby, I don't know how much longer I can hold on before I just cum right on the spot."

"Then stop stalling and make love to me already," she moaned sexily as she started to shift her legs, pulling one back far enough so I could slide right into her. She squeezed and rubbed even harder, the friction causing my blood to boil with such feral desire for this woman.

That's when I let myself go and positioned myself in a way that gave me a better angle to push into her slowly. As I sank into her I let out a loud moan that I was sure the neighbors heard. I didn't fucking care one bit because I was finally home, buried deep within my beautiful girl, fully enjoying my reunion with her body.

"God, I missed this. I missed you…so much… it…it hurt, Edward," Bella struggled to say between moans.

All I could do was grunt in response as I pushed deeper into her, our hips moving in tandem, giving and taking, pushing and pulling.

"Me, too, baby," was all I could muster up.

Bella reached up and grabbed a fistful of my hair, forcing my head down so she could crash her lips into mine. We wasted no time with little pecks and shit. My girl's tongue was out of her mouth, hypnotizing mine…tasting mine before our lips were fully touching. It was utterly erotic and it made me work harder on her clit so she could have her release because I was certainly desperate for mine.

Every time Bella moaned, it sent shock waves right to my dick, making it damn near impossible for me to control my movements. I sped my thrusts up a bit, hoping it would satisfy the hard fucker until Bella was ready to fully let go. After a few more swirls around her slick heat, I felt her inner walls tighten. We didn't stop kissing and touching and before we knew it, Bella was writhing uncontrollably, her inner walls throbbing and thumping against my dick. It felt so fucking good.

"Oh…yes…yes…yes!" Bella screamed as she rode her orgasm out for all that it was worth.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, baby. Ungh…so…fucking…good!" I grunted, thrusting up with each word until I stilled, spilling inside of her in a few hot gushes.

After a few minutes of us just laying there, our legs wrapped up like a pretzel, I slipped out of Bella, both of us groaning at the loss of connection, I slid out of bed to clean myself up in the bathroom and got a warm washcloth for my fully spent wife. I crouched down on the floor by her side of the bed and carefully cleaned between her legs, paying careful attention to that sweetest area of hers as she hummed in delight, a lazy smile gracing her gorgeous face.

"Edward?" Bella rubbed my shoulder with her pointer finger.

"Yeah, Baby?" I responded, her eyes hypnotizing mine.

"Let's never go that long without each other like that again. I love you so much and I don't ever want to feel so disconnected from you like that."

Lifting my arm, I cupped her cheek with my hand, making her lean into it. "I know exactly what you mean. I love you, Bella. Never, baby. Never again."

**

* * *

**

Hours later, I was enjoying the summer weather with great friends, good food and beer. Jasper and Alice's block party was in full swing. Since some of the guys from my and Emmett's fire company lived on the same block, they made sure the street was blocked off by a couple of small fire engines and one EMS truck.

The neighbors had all pitched in and rented some blow up water slides for the kids. I smiled watching Emmett playing with Riley and got a real kick out of him barreling down the water slide with his son between his legs. I couldn't wait to do that with my own kid and was starting to get anxious for the baby to be born already. Bella had a couple more weeks to go and we were so fucking excited to meet our little bundle of joy. I didn't even care if it was going to be a boy or a girl; just as long as the baby was happy and healthy was all that mattered to me…and Bella, too.

Alice and Jasper's little ones, Peter and Charlotte were equally adorable. They were like a little mini Jasper and Alice, each gaining a part of their parent's unique personality. Peter was just like Jasper to a fucking tee when he was quiet and contemplative while Charlotte loved getting all up in everyone's business just like my darling cousin. It still blew my mind that we were all happily married and parents. Normally I wasn't a really religious guy but I thanked God every day for bringing these people into my life, especially Bella. After all the shit we had been through and experienced during our time together, Bella and I were truly content. I was so happy that Bella had agreed to therapy a few years ago.

Just knowing that she had thought that she could never stand up to Tanya's ghost and that she felt she was going to be second best still tore at my heart a bit. How could she ever think that I would love her less because she wasn't who she thought she should be? Christ, we had come so far. It seemed like such a lifetime ago. I had made some pretty great strides in my therapy, as well. I was able to overcome the guilt I felt over many things like Tanya's death, my accident, and the events that led Bella to being trapped in the fire at Alice's studio.

Yeah, everything happens for a reason and is as it should be.

_Now if only our baby would come. Then, life would be truly perfect._

"This is the life, huh, guys?" Jasper asked, leaning back on a lounge chair, opening up another bottle of beer.

"This is awesome, Jas," Emmett agreed, leaning his head back to catch the rays of the sun. As if he needed to be any more tan.

I was just about to say something when a figure whizzed by in my peripheral vision. When it came into view, I realized it was Riley and he was bounding right for me, his arms flailing about and a huge Emmett-like toothy smile plaster across his face.

"Unco Eddie! Hewwo!" Riley screamed and then proceeded to leap in the air, his hands headed directly for my…

"Unf!" I grunted, immediately extracting Riley's hands from his little hold on my balls.

_Fuck, that hurt!_

Jasper spit out his beer and Emmett lost it, doubling over in a fit of hysterics.

"Dada...I found Unco Eddie's tig and bewries!" Emmett's spawn of Satan exclaimed. He was cute but holy hell…what a fucking grip on that toddler! I gave my balls a little rub of comfort.

"Way to go, Buddy. But you shouldn't hurt Uncle Eddie like that," Emmett pitifully tried to scold his child.

Riley turned, a sad little frown on his chubby face. "I sawry, Unco Eddie. I no touch your tig and bewries no more."

"It's okay, little man," I chuckled, letting him get off my lap.

His attention was immediately diverted by the sound of the screen door loudly squeaking open. His face lit up like a Christmas tree as soon as he saw that it was Bella who opened the door. Riley had a little baby crush on Bella and she ate that shit up with a spoon. They were like two little peas in a pod.

"Dada. I go see Auntie Bel. She go to get me somfing to dwink," Riley mumbled, already waddling his way towards my waddling wife. When she spotted Riley coming towards her, she extended her hand and he snatched it up right away, pulling her back inside, no doubt demanding that she get him something to drink.

"That little guy is too freakin' cute, but damn, Em, what the hell are you and Rosie feeding Riley? He's already like his grizzly bear father," Jasper joked, slapping a proud looking Emmett on the back.

"And what's with the 'twig and berries' talk?" I laughed.

"Shit, man. You got the least of it. My little dude loves to poke at my balls, too! He's been fascinated with penises ever since he realized he pisses out of one. Rose and I are potty training Riley and she keeps calling it a 'wee wee' to him," Emmett scrunched his face. "And since I can't have him call his little manhood a 'cock' or dick,' twig and berries seemed to fit. Rose hates it," he snickered, like some sneaky little kid.

"Em…that's just…well, there are no words." I shook my head at him. However, I was smirking because it was just like Emmett to teach his son something like that.

"Oh, whatever, dude. Just you wait until Bella pops your kid out. It could be a boy and then you will have to deal with Bella having your son prance around saying 'wee wee' like one of the fucking three little piggies."

Now it was my turn to laugh along with Jasper.

Emmett smiled, resting his head back again and putting his feet up on a cooler.

"Ha! Go ahead and laugh now, motherfucker," he chuckled darkly, his stare right on Jasper. "But you sure as shit know that Alice is going to do the same thing as my sweet Rosie…and you too, fucker," he grinned in my direction.

Just when the three of us were getting back to talking about manly shit like sports instead of 'wee wee's,' Riley darted out the side door of Jasper's house, screaming for me with a look of desperation across his little features.

"Unco Eddie…Unco Eddie! Hey!" he panted, finally reaching me. I immediately lifted him into my arms and stood up.

"What's up, little guy?" I questioned, wondering why he looked so panicked.

"Auntie Bel…she gots an axeeedent! She pee peed all over Auntie Awice's foor! It look yucky!" Riley pursed his lips, his eyes wide like a damn deer in headlights. I really didn't have time to process all that Riley had said before Jasper and Emmett shot up as though their asses were on fire. Emmett grabbed Riley out of my arms quick as a flash, startling the crap out of me.

"Geez, Emmett! What the hell is wrong with you?" My arms were still posed like they were holding his child.

"Edward, I don't want to get you in a panic, but what Riley is so eloquently trying to state is that Bella's water just broke…and apparently on my kitchen floor," Jasper calmly chimed in, smiling from ear to ear.

That's when things got a bit foggy. My head started to spin and I instantly started to move like a chicken without a head. For a guy, a husband who had sat reading 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' religiously with his wife, I suddenly had no fucking clue what I should be doing.

"Holy shit! I'm gonna be a fucking father!" I screeched, not moving an inch. "What the fuck do I do? I don't know what to do!"

"First off, you have to try to remain calm," Jasper started, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Bella's the one who's going to be delivering the baby and she's probably a little scared."

All I did was stare at my friend. I was unable to even speak.

"Uh, Edward? I think right about now should be the time that you go to Bella to see how she's doing. She may be having contractions and you may have to call her doctor," Emmett advised, comforting Riley, who looked just as clueless as I felt right at this moment.

"Shit, yeah. You're right. Thanks!" I waved, hauling ass inside the house to find my wife.

The first person I saw was my cousin, who was cleaning the floor by the refrigerator. The liquid looked all cloudy and discolored with a tint of red. My face must have immediately shown the petrified look on my face because Alice dropped the bunched up paper towels in her hand and shot up to be by my side.

"It's okay, Edward. It's supposed to look like that," she pointed to the spot that I couldn't tear my eyes from. I was so nervous that something was wrong with my child, my wife.

_Oh God, please let them be okay. I can't fucking live without them._

"Come on. She's in the bathroom sitting on the lid of the toilet. Rose and I cleaned her. Then I got a pair of maternity pants that I still like to lounge in to make her feel more comfortable. She's still…leaking…so we had to wrap a towel around her."

I found Bella and Rosalie in the bathroom talking quietly. Alice had gone to get Emmett and Jasper up to speed as to what was going on with Bella. Rose was putting Bella's hair in a pony tail while Bella was doing her _Lamaze_ breathing that we had learned in the birthing class we took a while ago. I thought I was all prepared mentally, but I wasn't. Feeling so helpless, a few tears started to prick at the corner of my eyes. My baby was going to have our baby. I couldn't have been more proud of Bella. She looked so damn relaxed…so fucking at ease while my insides were twisted in knots over our impending arrival.

It felt like I was standing before them for an eternity because Bella was the one who spoke first.

"Hey, Babe. I…I think it's time. Rosalie already had me call my doctor and since I tested positive for the _Step_ test, I have to go to the hospital soon so the nurses can get me started on an _IV_ of antibiotics so nothing happens to the baby during delivery," she beamed, her twinkling eyes matching my own.

"But, we don't have your hospital bag! Maybe I should go…" I started to run out of the bathroom so I could fly at lightning speed a few blocks to our house to get her stuff for the hospital.

I ended up bumping bodies with Alice, effectively toppling over my own two feet and onto on my poor cousin. Pure adrenaline is what got me off that floor and off my cousin. My heart was racing up my throat it was constricting so much. I hated feeling like I had lost all control of my fucking brain.

"Edward, please relax!" Alice exclaimed. "You're only going to upset Bella if you keep carrying on like some imbecile. Jasper went to retrieve Bella's bag from your house. I gave him the spare key you had given me. Emmett has got Irina from the EMS on standby to drive you two in the truck to the hospital. Jasper is also going to call your parents and Bella's, informing them they are about to be grandparents. Everything's under control except for you. Why don't you try some of those Lamaze exercises?" Alice laughed, patting me on my back and steering me back towards my beautifully glowing wife.

**

* * *

**

Fifteen hours later, our son, Aidan Edward Cullen was born. The girls had escorted Bella to the ambulance while I had splashed some cold water on my face to wash off the awful trance I was under. I needed to be strong like Bella. I wanted to be fully there for her and for our baby. I was so fucking excited…and nervous as all hell.

Bella ended up requesting an epidural…and that's when I gave every woman who had ever had a baby and received one of those long assed, mother fucking needles in their spines, major respect and props. There was no doubt in my mind after that that women were definitely the stronger gender. Bella had hardly flinched whereas I was ready to pass out before the needle even came close to her skin. Shit, I had fought the mother of all fires, had the floor fall from under me…literally, thus making me lose my memory; but I couldn't hold it together when I witnessed all that my Bella had to go through in order to bring another being into this world. Women were such fascinating creatures.

I was currently holding my son…my _son_! Yeah, that's right. I was fucking elated when I saw that twig and those little berries. I was happy to have the Cullen name live on, as I knew my father would be. I was truly shocked at how natural parenting came as soon as Aidan came out of Bella and breathed his first real breath of life in the birthing room.

Thankfully, we were able to get a private room so I could sleep with my family.

_Family_. Bella and I had started a family and there weren't enough words I could conjure up in order to describe the most satisfyingly content feeling I felt. As I held Aidan in my arms, all swaddled up in his little blue hospital issued blanket, his eyes closed in peaceful slumber…just like his mommy was in the bed beside us.

Placing an ever so gentle kiss on his tiny head, my lips skimming the tuft of reddish brown hair that stood on end, I began to have a little talk with my newborn son.

"Hey, my little man. How ya holding up?" I started, smiling down at his sleeping form. "That good, huh? Listen, I just want you to know that you and your mommy are the most precious beings in my life and that daddy loves you very much. Now, you have to know that since you are the second man of the house, you must be protective of your mother. She's a feisty one," I chuckled, adjusting Aidan so he was lying on his belly, vertically on my chest while I reclined back a bit.

I crossed my legs and continued our little chat. "See, there will be times where you will get in trouble with your mommy. But I want you to know that it will most likely be for a good reason. You seem to have the same fiery colored hair like mine was when I was born, so that must mean that you will take after me. And if you are anything like me…you're going to get into a heap load of trouble…some of it fun, some of it not so fun. Maybe you'll grow up to be a fireman just like your daddy here. If that's the case, you're going to be putting out a lot of fires in your life…literally and figuratively. Even if you don't end up riding on a fire truck for a living, there are three things you should always know in life…

First, when you are in the middle of an argument with your girlfriend or wife, chances are you are in the wrong. Just go with it and work it out the best you can. Sometimes saying, 'You're right, baby' works _really_ well.

Second, you are allowed to curse in front of me…once you're eighteen. Don't even go there with your mother. I have a feeling she would wash your mouth out with soap when you're thirty. Not the best idea to try cursing around her.

Third, where there's smoke, there's always fire. So live your life to the fullest, no matter how many bumps in the road you encounter…because everything always happens for a reason. And don't forget to love with the greatest amount of passion there is. I promise…you won't be disappointed."

* * *

**A/N: As we hit the "Complete" button on this story we are left feeling a little bittersweet. For those of you who don't know how we started, Holly and I are best friends who both have a mutual love for Twilight, which led us into the world of fan fiction. We read a lot of fiction and fell in love with this fandom, so after a while we decided we wanted to give writing a shot but were a little apprehensive about going at it solo. So one day, about a year and a half ago, we were talking about writing and Holly said she had an idea for a story about a Firefighter Edward and asked if I would be interested in writing with her. Well, my dad is a retired NYC Firefighter so I have been around that stuff my whole life and figured if there was any one topic I could start off with, at least it was one I knew something about…and the rest was history.**

**We have to thank a few people…first, KeepingUpWithTheKids who was a beta for our dear friend Robicorn. She took us under her wing at the get-go and set us up with our beta SweetDulcinea, who literally had her hands full with us in the beginning. Neither of us had ever written anything more than maybe a college research paper, and had no idea how to write dialogue, inner monologues, use punctuation correctly (it is a lot harder than you think people!), and let's just say that our first few chapters, which were only about 8 pages each, took us about 2 hours to correct when we got them back from her because in the beginning there were so many mistakes. But little by little she taught us not only how to be better with grammar and punctuation, but also pushed us to be better writers and be more creative. So towards the end, when we were sending her 20 page chapters, it would only take us about 10 minutes to fix it up before we could post it for you all. So for that…we are forever grateful for having you in our lives, and teaching us everything you know, SD! xoxo**

**To our new beta, dolphin62598, who stepped in for us when SweetDulcinea's real life got super busy and needed some more time for herself (which was so well deserved), and fit right in with us. She continues to help us become better, and push us further than we even think we can sometimes…we say a super big thank you. xoxo**

**And last, but certainly not least, to all of you who have read, alerted, rec'd this story out…you are the sole reason why we do this. Some of you have been with us from day one, while others of you are new to our family, but each and every one of you have made this whole process worth it in the end…even during those times when we had writers block, or had things going on in our real lives that made it difficult to be able to concentrate on writing a work of fiction that we sometimes wished we could escape into. Every single review, Tweet, Facebook message we have received from you guys has been truly meaningful in a way we couldn't possibly express in words and for that we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. **

**We are going to be working on a new story, which we will start posting in a few months, while in the meantime focusing our attention on continuing **_**Beautiful Stranger**_**. So if you would like to be notified about that please put us on author alert if you haven't already done so. Plus, we may re-visit these two from time to time with outtakes (we just can't say goodbye to Fireward completely), so make sure you keep an eye out for those too.**

**Thanks again for everything! We love you all!**

**Holly & Pauline, aka NJNYTwiGals**

***If you would like to see the dresses all the girls wore at the wedding, use the links below.  
Bella: http:/i195(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/z55/PaulineAH/Bella-Bridecopy(dot)jpg  
Bridesmaids: http:/i195(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/z55/PaulineAH/Alice-Bridesmaid(dot)jpg**


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